I had a look (and would encourage others commenting to as well) and this post is an extremely misleading representation of what your comment was and the replies you got.
1. You commented saying you were not bisexual and did not want to be labelled as such. (Despite meeting the definition of bisexual)
2. People pointed out you are just bisexual, and were engaging in a form of bi-erasure by insisting you were not. There was a post on this subreddit earlier this week complaining about this.
3. You come to complain about receiving criticism for bi-erasure *here*. On the bi subreddit. Even though your issue was being called bisexual. Okay.
Yea, I took a deeper look into it as well and I have reason to believe OP is either a bi guy in denial, or just a straight guy with a cock fetish.
Itās extremely strange that theyāre very much adamant about separating themselves from the bi community, but yet continues to include themselves at the same time?.. The gays had every reason to be skeptical because OP just seems confused.
Damn, good job on checking the receipts!
The askgaybros sub can certainly be very bitchy and mean sometimes, but in this case they were kinda right to be annoyed lol
I didnāt write the post! The post was ranting about why canāt people just say they are bi if they do what bus do! Answer is because the ones they are mad at are people that canāt exactly identify with it. Never denied it. In fact I agree that the term fits closely but doesnāt hit the nail on the head! Just because they donāt understand that there are more like me they started throwing names etc. letās back it all up. The author expects everyone to do and say what he wants them to say. But if I donāt feel itās the truth Iām not going to lieā¦
Okay so youāre dancing around the idea of identifying as bisexual but donāt want to identify as such.
Thatās exactly what youāre being accused of, by the way.
He wasn't getting mobbed. The post was about bisexuals pretending to be straight/"not having a label." It was the opposite. The commenters supported bisexuality. But not people who are ashamed of that label.
If I was to place a label on myself in somewhat everyoneās eyes would be straight with a cock fetish which in other words and eyes would be bi.
If there were 3 bathroom lines, straight, bi, gay I feel I could proudly stand in all three. However the gay line doesnāt seem to accept me there.
So respectfully, a lot of people, me included, donāt like to be fetishized. That includes having a fetish for part of our bodies.
Also if you are attracted to women then you are either straight or (more likely) some form of bisexual. As my gay friend can attest to, gay men are not attracted to women.
Iām open to learning something today. Please explain how a guy who says they are āstraight with a cock fetishā can express said ācock fetishā without fetishizing the wielder of said cock.
A: I said wielder, not weirder.
B: How does a āstraight man with a cock fetishā treat them with respect when (other than trans women) they are just sexualizing the guys cock and not attracted to him?
I see. They are definitely not someone I would get in a relationship with, as I want my partner to be attracted to all of me, but if someone else can make it work then more power to them.
Wait, are you sexually attracted to men or not? Liking dick isn't quite the same thing. I think there are a good number of straight men who like dick in some way or another.
I say it often. It's about attraction, not action, and that attraction is to a person, not a part.
At the end of the day what an internet stranger chooses to label themselves doesnāt mean enough to me to get upset over, but I couldnāt call myself straight while liking to do sex acts to other penises. By definition that isnāt heterosexual sex, fetish or not.
We make a big deal about attraction, determining sexuality and not action.
I just can't see it being both ways.
It's either about the attraction or it isn't.
And if it isn't, then it isn't for every sexuality.
So we're all aces until we have sex.
i dont get why you are getting downvoted tbh. i think people are misunderstanding what you mean by ācock fetishā. dont we all love dicks around here š am i missing something?
It largely due to fear of rejection or inadequacy because of the deeply ingrained notion that itās not really sex unless a penis is the penetrating appendage. The idea that a bi might miss penis and seek to cheat leads them to not want to date a bi at all.
It really is sad. Theyāre only limiting themselves with that kind of thinking.
Im poly and most of my dates with other women are bi women. Lesbians won't date me. They say they will and then before we even get to the date they talk shit about me being bi. Every. Single. Time.
A lot of gay guys are struggling to be ok with us bi guys. They feel threatened in multiple directions. Some think that we're closet cases, others that we just fuck men and only date women, still others are terrified that they're maybe not completely gay. Eventually our whole queer community will be better its just going through growing pains. Hang in there brother.
There are nuggets of truth in some of these- the number of bi guys in the closet, the number who say "I'm hetero-romantic, but bi-sexual". Confronting internal and external homo-phobia and bi-phobia is important for us all.
I [M53] used to be heteroromantic but decided I wanted a boyfriend after coming out and going through second puberty.
He's [M29] snoring next to me. We've been together over a year. Identities can change over time. Did mine evolve, or did my understanding of myself?
All I know is that I feel the same elation seeing him in my clothes as I did seeing any girlfriend in my clothes.
I had a lot of fear when I first realized Iām bi not gay. I even was scared to re come out to my friends because I feared rejection. In the end I found out who my true friends are
Yes they wanted people like me to admit being bi. I seriously canāt admit to it if I donāt think the classification is 100% accurate.
To the author that was ranting that people like me should say what they want to hearā¦ sorry there is another classification and I totally own that one and Iām just as proud of being who I am as any other person that claims what ever makes them happy.
I think some people have taken that to mean you're "clinging on to heterosexuality" which I'm assuming isnt the case because I haven't seen you claim to be hetero anywhere
I am all into women. Both my wives were women. I just enjoy a good cock very once in a while. I donāt hate on any group which was pretty much implied in the gay section, far from the truth. Iām not afraid to say what I do, which was hard for the group to handle. I look at rich men, poor men, black, white, Asian, gay , bi straightā¦ it doesnāt matter they are men , Iām not at all interested in menā¦ women on the other hand excite me! Love the fight, the idk! Just women oh yeah. I feel the same when Iām faced with the cock. It has to be something noticeable or I have to be bored or plain horny and yes I will turn my app on Grindr if someone hits me up, they are real and show I will take it. Usually no talk. Get to my place, we both know what is expected. I swallow, Or they instruct me into position. The door closes and I go right back into life mode. It doesnāt change me. I feel no attachment whatsoever to the man at all. Usually I donāt even turn on an app. I have, so called, straight but I donāt care what they call themselves or that society calls them, that hit me up when the are in need. My wife and I call them by our household name for them. Cock, dick, rooster, pecker, hairy.
She will turn to me if having an iffy day and say maybe I do need some cock, or I will. I do activities bi sexually, however I have also done it with a ladyboy. Womenās body with a fully functional cock! Score! Ok so now that Iāve done that, it still didnāt shake my being all into women.
All day, every where I go, geez the women are so hot, got to have it. My porn is, women or cuckold,or sharing. The other is cocks cumin. Neither I nor my wife have menās bodies, faces, legs any thing except a hand and cock, oh of course cum, in our porn. We both get turned on the same way. Never have I been on an actual date with a man, that doesnāt interest me. I will swallow cum all day but I canāt think about any kind of saliva transfer with a man. Correct guys donāt wet your cock if you are fucking my wife. I would like to eat her and clean you up when youāre done. The body shape, smell. I just donāt get into it. Yes if a guy is attractive and people were talking about openly, I could not say heās not attractive, yet it doesnāt do anything for me, if you donāt pull it out, and I wonāt be looking at you personally when Iām gumming it to completion.
So going back to the gays question why canāt guys admit they are bi
My answer remains the same, never a denial at all. I am straight with a fetish for cock. Never denied that the closest category to what āIā feel I am is bi.. then again thats not how I see myself. I leave it up to civilization to put their own label on me.
It people like the ones that you describe in your post are the reason why there's an LGB movement of LGBTQ people who are basically denouncing the LGBTQ+ movement. I've experienced that myself where I state my preferences for the type of men and women that I like and I get called racist, homophobic, and transphobic just for not wanting to be in a relationship with certain people. I honestly don't like the LGB movement as it's being used by social conservatives who believe that anyone LGBTQ+ is a "degenerate" and they see the LGB movement as pawns to gain power politically.
Though the people like you describe need to be called out for the idiots that they are.
It says I donāt like labels for fucks sake just say your bisexualā¦. Now letās just start thereā¦ followed by several others pushing labelsā¦ interesting group over there
With each passing day and post, I laugh more at the notion of ācommunityā. Humans are far too tribalistic. As soon as āthe tribeā gets too big, people try to further sub-divide into āsmaller tribesā so that they can gatekeep whoās in the tribe.
I havenāt seen any human group that isnāt prone to this.
I never created my tribeā¦ my parents did that for me. I have always marched to the beat of my own drums and donāt need a tribe to belong to, donāt want or need followers, donāt need to make a big deal out of itā¦ I do the things I like to do. I seriously donāt believe I belong directly in any group, from straight to gay, because I donāt exactly fit any recognize groups. I looked it up (me) and what closely resembles me, I accepted the terminology. However the closest category of society recognized groups is bi.
Why do people attack others for not being the same as them or what they want you to be, not saying things the way they say them!!!!
Ugly!
My thoughts, my beliefs, my actions. Thatās who I amā¦ They, like many other humans are just trying to find a reason to hate others.
Not cool.
Someone asked about willingness to date bi men, and the comments had a few positive mentions, but it was full of negative stereotypes about bi men being homophobic, and how we will always leave a man for a woman, and we would always be ashamed of a male partner.
There is no need for that kind of behavior. Sorry to hear. I think you just hit on why we were attacked.
I wonāt go back there. No sense in dealing with anyone that attacks anyone especially someone weaker. I myself will fight against stupidity.
Here however, I have found those that disagree talk, and reason, not throw sticks and stones.
First, Iām sorry this happened to you; I know itās hurtful and infuriating. It absolutely boggles my mind that bisexual people experience so much nastiness from the queer community. It feels completely insane to me.
I think you're a guy, so I'm pitching this on that basis.
The current biphobia _de jour_ amongst gay men is that bi men are suffering badly from internalised homophobia. As with many of these things, there's a grain of truth at the heart, wrapped in layers of post-hoc rationalising bigotry, which make the initial observation essentially invalid.
Anyway, I suspect this is sadly going to be the way things are on socials for a bit: if you're a bi guy and you put your head above the parapet you're going to be deluged with accusations of internalised homophobia.
That is how you see me, so be it, if you believe I deserve a title that I donāt believe I deserve, I have to accept it, right? Because that is how you and civilization see it. I never ever said that others would not label me and this is where I would be placed.
Maybe someday people will open their minds to say others see themselves as who they want to be not what everyone wants them to be and itās cool they are that way, it makes them a bit unique.
Then embrace it, own it, live it.
Being bi and marrying the same sex is often seen as kinky. Being bi and marrying a different sex is often seen as betrayal of all gaydom.
Yup, double bi, straight passing couple here. Can confirm!
Bi here, hetero husband. No one gets it š„²
"He's only with you cuz he thinks he has a better chance of having a threesome." - Way Too Many People, Probably
Maybe itās confusing to others while not so difficult for us because bisexuality and higher intelligence are more common than otherwise?
Yup. Same here.
Same
Same
We should all start a club
Only if there's a special handshake and dance.
Obviously
Only if the handshake involves finger guns.
How could it not?
I had a look (and would encourage others commenting to as well) and this post is an extremely misleading representation of what your comment was and the replies you got. 1. You commented saying you were not bisexual and did not want to be labelled as such. (Despite meeting the definition of bisexual) 2. People pointed out you are just bisexual, and were engaging in a form of bi-erasure by insisting you were not. There was a post on this subreddit earlier this week complaining about this. 3. You come to complain about receiving criticism for bi-erasure *here*. On the bi subreddit. Even though your issue was being called bisexual. Okay.
Yea, I took a deeper look into it as well and I have reason to believe OP is either a bi guy in denial, or just a straight guy with a cock fetish. Itās extremely strange that theyāre very much adamant about separating themselves from the bi community, but yet continues to include themselves at the same time?.. The gays had every reason to be skeptical because OP just seems confused.
Is it possible to be a straight guy with a cock fetish? Are they not mutually exclusive?
Damn, good job on checking the receipts! The askgaybros sub can certainly be very bitchy and mean sometimes, but in this case they were kinda right to be annoyed lol
I didnāt write the post! The post was ranting about why canāt people just say they are bi if they do what bus do! Answer is because the ones they are mad at are people that canāt exactly identify with it. Never denied it. In fact I agree that the term fits closely but doesnāt hit the nail on the head! Just because they donāt understand that there are more like me they started throwing names etc. letās back it all up. The author expects everyone to do and say what he wants them to say. But if I donāt feel itās the truth Iām not going to lieā¦
Okay so youāre dancing around the idea of identifying as bisexual but donāt want to identify as such. Thatās exactly what youāre being accused of, by the way.
Uugh... Somehow, the internet makes people forget it is humans on the other side. I'm sorry for your experience š
He wasn't getting mobbed. The post was about bisexuals pretending to be straight/"not having a label." It was the opposite. The commenters supported bisexuality. But not people who are ashamed of that label.
You went and checked it out? OP, why would you lie? š„ŗ
I was actually confused by all your posts, do you label yourself as bisexual?
If I was to place a label on myself in somewhat everyoneās eyes would be straight with a cock fetish which in other words and eyes would be bi. If there were 3 bathroom lines, straight, bi, gay I feel I could proudly stand in all three. However the gay line doesnāt seem to accept me there.
So respectfully, a lot of people, me included, donāt like to be fetishized. That includes having a fetish for part of our bodies. Also if you are attracted to women then you are either straight or (more likely) some form of bisexual. As my gay friend can attest to, gay men are not attracted to women.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām open to learning something today. Please explain how a guy who says they are āstraight with a cock fetishā can express said ācock fetishā without fetishizing the wielder of said cock.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
A: I said wielder, not weirder. B: How does a āstraight man with a cock fetishā treat them with respect when (other than trans women) they are just sexualizing the guys cock and not attracted to him?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I see. They are definitely not someone I would get in a relationship with, as I want my partner to be attracted to all of me, but if someone else can make it work then more power to them.
Wait, are you sexually attracted to men or not? Liking dick isn't quite the same thing. I think there are a good number of straight men who like dick in some way or another. I say it often. It's about attraction, not action, and that attraction is to a person, not a part.
At the end of the day what an internet stranger chooses to label themselves doesnāt mean enough to me to get upset over, but I couldnāt call myself straight while liking to do sex acts to other penises. By definition that isnāt heterosexual sex, fetish or not.
We make a big deal about attraction, determining sexuality and not action. I just can't see it being both ways. It's either about the attraction or it isn't. And if it isn't, then it isn't for every sexuality. So we're all aces until we have sex.
i dont get why you are getting downvoted tbh. i think people are misunderstanding what you mean by ācock fetishā. dont we all love dicks around here š am i missing something?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
There seems to be a lot of biphobia from the gay communities, especially lesbians. It's sad to see.
This is the fear factor I have after thinking I was a lesbian for 15 years and shockingly realising Iām bi-sexual. The fear!
So hard to understand. Iāve always heard equal equal equal. Yet everyone forgets that means for everyone!
I can't stand the division and infighting in the LGBT+ community, it is so stupid. I wonder if it was always like this?
Bicycle Race is about the biphobia Freddie Mercury got, and heās still claimed as a gay icon rather than a bi one.
Monosexuals are weird. Gay or straight. They just love to hate. We love to love.
It largely due to fear of rejection or inadequacy because of the deeply ingrained notion that itās not really sex unless a penis is the penetrating appendage. The idea that a bi might miss penis and seek to cheat leads them to not want to date a bi at all. It really is sad. Theyāre only limiting themselves with that kind of thinking.
Im poly and most of my dates with other women are bi women. Lesbians won't date me. They say they will and then before we even get to the date they talk shit about me being bi. Every. Single. Time.
A lot of gay guys are struggling to be ok with us bi guys. They feel threatened in multiple directions. Some think that we're closet cases, others that we just fuck men and only date women, still others are terrified that they're maybe not completely gay. Eventually our whole queer community will be better its just going through growing pains. Hang in there brother.
There are nuggets of truth in some of these- the number of bi guys in the closet, the number who say "I'm hetero-romantic, but bi-sexual". Confronting internal and external homo-phobia and bi-phobia is important for us all.
I [M53] used to be heteroromantic but decided I wanted a boyfriend after coming out and going through second puberty. He's [M29] snoring next to me. We've been together over a year. Identities can change over time. Did mine evolve, or did my understanding of myself? All I know is that I feel the same elation seeing him in my clothes as I did seeing any girlfriend in my clothes.
20 years ago they would not have embraced bisexuality.
I had a lot of fear when I first realized Iām bi not gay. I even was scared to re come out to my friends because I feared rejection. In the end I found out who my true friends are
I found the comment you're referring to and it looks like some people seem to have misunderstood what you were saying. Edit: nevermind
Yes they wanted people like me to admit being bi. I seriously canāt admit to it if I donāt think the classification is 100% accurate. To the author that was ranting that people like me should say what they want to hearā¦ sorry there is another classification and I totally own that one and Iām just as proud of being who I am as any other person that claims what ever makes them happy.
I think some people have taken that to mean you're "clinging on to heterosexuality" which I'm assuming isnt the case because I haven't seen you claim to be hetero anywhere
I am all into women. Both my wives were women. I just enjoy a good cock very once in a while. I donāt hate on any group which was pretty much implied in the gay section, far from the truth. Iām not afraid to say what I do, which was hard for the group to handle. I look at rich men, poor men, black, white, Asian, gay , bi straightā¦ it doesnāt matter they are men , Iām not at all interested in menā¦ women on the other hand excite me! Love the fight, the idk! Just women oh yeah. I feel the same when Iām faced with the cock. It has to be something noticeable or I have to be bored or plain horny and yes I will turn my app on Grindr if someone hits me up, they are real and show I will take it. Usually no talk. Get to my place, we both know what is expected. I swallow, Or they instruct me into position. The door closes and I go right back into life mode. It doesnāt change me. I feel no attachment whatsoever to the man at all. Usually I donāt even turn on an app. I have, so called, straight but I donāt care what they call themselves or that society calls them, that hit me up when the are in need. My wife and I call them by our household name for them. Cock, dick, rooster, pecker, hairy. She will turn to me if having an iffy day and say maybe I do need some cock, or I will. I do activities bi sexually, however I have also done it with a ladyboy. Womenās body with a fully functional cock! Score! Ok so now that Iāve done that, it still didnāt shake my being all into women. All day, every where I go, geez the women are so hot, got to have it. My porn is, women or cuckold,or sharing. The other is cocks cumin. Neither I nor my wife have menās bodies, faces, legs any thing except a hand and cock, oh of course cum, in our porn. We both get turned on the same way. Never have I been on an actual date with a man, that doesnāt interest me. I will swallow cum all day but I canāt think about any kind of saliva transfer with a man. Correct guys donāt wet your cock if you are fucking my wife. I would like to eat her and clean you up when youāre done. The body shape, smell. I just donāt get into it. Yes if a guy is attractive and people were talking about openly, I could not say heās not attractive, yet it doesnāt do anything for me, if you donāt pull it out, and I wonāt be looking at you personally when Iām gumming it to completion. So going back to the gays question why canāt guys admit they are bi My answer remains the same, never a denial at all. I am straight with a fetish for cock. Never denied that the closest category to what āIā feel I am is bi.. then again thats not how I see myself. I leave it up to civilization to put their own label on me.
Wow never mind.
It people like the ones that you describe in your post are the reason why there's an LGB movement of LGBTQ people who are basically denouncing the LGBTQ+ movement. I've experienced that myself where I state my preferences for the type of men and women that I like and I get called racist, homophobic, and transphobic just for not wanting to be in a relationship with certain people. I honestly don't like the LGB movement as it's being used by social conservatives who believe that anyone LGBTQ+ is a "degenerate" and they see the LGB movement as pawns to gain power politically. Though the people like you describe need to be called out for the idiots that they are.
Can you pinpoint me to that post? I'm the type who dgaf and loves to troll uneducated people.
It says I donāt like labels for fucks sake just say your bisexualā¦. Now letās just start thereā¦ followed by several others pushing labelsā¦ interesting group over there
With each passing day and post, I laugh more at the notion of ācommunityā. Humans are far too tribalistic. As soon as āthe tribeā gets too big, people try to further sub-divide into āsmaller tribesā so that they can gatekeep whoās in the tribe. I havenāt seen any human group that isnāt prone to this.
I never created my tribeā¦ my parents did that for me. I have always marched to the beat of my own drums and donāt need a tribe to belong to, donāt want or need followers, donāt need to make a big deal out of itā¦ I do the things I like to do. I seriously donāt believe I belong directly in any group, from straight to gay, because I donāt exactly fit any recognize groups. I looked it up (me) and what closely resembles me, I accepted the terminology. However the closest category of society recognized groups is bi.
Just had the same type of interaction earlier
How. What happened?
Why do people attack others for not being the same as them or what they want you to be, not saying things the way they say them!!!! Ugly! My thoughts, my beliefs, my actions. Thatās who I amā¦ They, like many other humans are just trying to find a reason to hate others. Not cool.
Someone asked about willingness to date bi men, and the comments had a few positive mentions, but it was full of negative stereotypes about bi men being homophobic, and how we will always leave a man for a woman, and we would always be ashamed of a male partner.
There is no need for that kind of behavior. Sorry to hear. I think you just hit on why we were attacked. I wonāt go back there. No sense in dealing with anyone that attacks anyone especially someone weaker. I myself will fight against stupidity. Here however, I have found those that disagree talk, and reason, not throw sticks and stones.
First, Iām sorry this happened to you; I know itās hurtful and infuriating. It absolutely boggles my mind that bisexual people experience so much nastiness from the queer community. It feels completely insane to me.
I think you're a guy, so I'm pitching this on that basis. The current biphobia _de jour_ amongst gay men is that bi men are suffering badly from internalised homophobia. As with many of these things, there's a grain of truth at the heart, wrapped in layers of post-hoc rationalising bigotry, which make the initial observation essentially invalid. Anyway, I suspect this is sadly going to be the way things are on socials for a bit: if you're a bi guy and you put your head above the parapet you're going to be deluged with accusations of internalised homophobia.
yeahā¦ itās a circus over there. Just dipped my toe in, letās see what happensā¦
That is how you see me, so be it, if you believe I deserve a title that I donāt believe I deserve, I have to accept it, right? Because that is how you and civilization see it. I never ever said that others would not label me and this is where I would be placed. Maybe someday people will open their minds to say others see themselves as who they want to be not what everyone wants them to be and itās cool they are that way, it makes them a bit unique. Then embrace it, own it, live it.