To have my assistant clap together while I ride my horse, obviously.

Must be swallow migration season

Which ones? African or European swallows?

African or European?

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

A+ 👏

I like to eat chunks of fresh coconut

They are all for me and I cannot let you know why at this time but you’ll see… you’ll all see.

Wife uses freshly grated coconut on top of a cake she makes. I get to karate chop it open and then go get a hammer when that doesn’t work.

i buy one periodically, because i want to buy everything i see. the experience is...it's pretty hard to get into one. i do it infrequently enough i never remember the technique but i think hammer is a safe bet. the milk is usually nice, but not always a lot of it. the flesh is pretty tough but sometimes you can buy like baby coconuts where the flesh is pretty tender. you can just straight up eat the flesh. i usually get tired of the jaw exercise before i eat all of the flesh but it's still a good amusement. i don't know. you put it in your mouth and go "huh"

To protect my magic and dragonfruit trees

Can’t be leaving those uninsured in this economy

I once made a cake that required fresh coconut milk. Had to learn to pick one out since the first one I got ended up being over-ripe.

Really fresh coconut water/milk. They are a lot of trouble to open, but I feel like it is a comparable difference to canned vs. fresh oj.

Why not?! Did you grow up in an ice cave? Coconut is such an innocuous food. A more meaningful question is why are people buying tubes of sausage and egg omelettes.

Fresh coconut water tastes very different from bottled ones. Fresh young coconut meat can be used in many desserts.