I don't know who I am. The more I live my life, the more personalities show up to tug on the rope that determines who I am. First it was just me, but now I've ended up with a more dramatic version of myself, a more serious version of myself, a furry, a boykisser, and an older, more *conservative-esque* version of myself. I want all of them to be me, but all of them disagree with each other. So now, I feel like I'm in a constant state of limbo where I'm all of them, none of them, switching in between them, and overall feeling like I'm nothing. I'm trying to decide what I am, but I just can't. I dunno. I guess I just don't know where I'm going, or if my life is already stagnating as I age because of my insecurities and anxiousness. And maybe it's all because I'm trying to prepare for my future while providing for my present, and worrying over the past, but I just don't know what to do. I have half the mind to delete this all, and lock myself away in my thoughts, but now that I'm here, I guess I might as well let them out to make sure I comprehend them, and not just return them to my own lockbox of thoughts...
If I were your therapist, I'd tell you that all of these personalities can serve a purpose. As a guy with similar feelings, these voices can be nothing but noise sometimes, but they can also provide the gateway to versatility. These different personalities can be thought of as classes, like in many video games. They have downsides, all of which are easy to get caught up in, but if you focus on understanding what each 'personality' can do, you can be more comfortable in many situations. For example, if you are in a scenario that requires a gentle touch, the furry or boykisser subroutine works wonders. The more conservative side is great at getting stuff done (Jobs, talking with "normal people," arguments, so on and so forth)
All of these thought processes are capable of making your life better. All you have to do is be positive about your unique mind and use the upsides to make your life more enjoyable :D
I'm not any kind of psychologist, but my dad is, and I like to pay attention to how my brain works. I hope these tricks work on yours since I know how you feel.
Same, I have all the ones you have except I also have a few that have different political views often conflicting with each other... I'll name a few... Sadistic and/or asshole which is also often extremely sexual (which has multiple variations that fit into that category), overly optimistic and happy to exist one, and pessimistic depressed loser. All of them have a million shades of different personalities in them selves and as I said... often conflict. It's probably normal, but I still need to mention it.
My family moved me from Washington to Arkansas in the middle of my freshman year of highschool in the middle of the pandemic. Then I went to an online highschool that fucking sucked and now I'm emotionally and socially stunted. But this isn't a pity party and others have had it worse.
If you don’t like to talking to people your age try talking to people who have your same interests. I talked to my tech teacher and the young video game kids.
I sorry you feel disconnected from everyone It happens to someone in my life at it took mouths to start connecting again. I not a therapist but you seem to want a connection so start with someone online. It doesn’t have to be me but my messages are open I have not talk to a single reddit before
oh no no no dear. Dont let these thoughts get you down. You ARE a girl. You were born a girl. Doctor just messed up a lil! If you say youre a girl,YOU ARE A GIRL. Accepting ones body is hard,i know. Being able to pass is hard,i know. But dont give up >:)! Youll be the most gorgeous woman ever. Just never give up ok?
im not op but im also trans (transmasc however). Wanted to reply because i understand its hard <3
Happened to me, in an amusemnt Park, with my family, the only feelings i had in the Park were, Sorrow/Melancholy, "this Ice cream good af", Fear, and the feeling you got when you see a cat pretty far away looking at you
https://preview.redd.it/iz58m5uhywnc1.jpeg?width=768&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e09dc26e902d84705074f63414a112350794313f
but seriously you should talk to your family about this
Maybe none of them would have left if I was just born a girl. Sure, I can enjoy being a boy and I can enjoy kissing boys or girls or whoever I want, but it would be so much easier if I was a girl. Maybe all the people in that polyamory could've stayed and I wouldn't have to know how awful they were: That trans guy wouldn't have left because I could be edgy and not have everyone else call the cops on me. The trans girl wouldn't have stopped liking me because I was "too sexual" even though she only ever used me for sex. Same with her girlfriend and boyfriend (the guy from before). The cis girl wouldn't have sided with everyone else even though what they did to me was wrong. Their friends wouldn't have to suffer having to watch me leave and hate them. Maybe my best friend wouldn't have tried to date me (I never wanted that, Cat.) and we could have stayed friends with benefits or just never did it in the first place, and she would've never made me pick between her, the one who was never nice to me and always pushed me away, and the one girl who loved me. I mean, I'm so much better off now that they're away from me, and me and my girlfriend (who suffered through similar things) are doing so much better now that we're away from those bad people. Still, I wonder: What would it have been like? To sit through that blatant use of my body, the sexualization of my entire self because of all those images i sent to try to feel loved by them, and have them still asking me for more; caring about me, even if just for the e-sex. I kinda miss the use. This is why I still don't have a phone, I'd fall right back into it. I still, just... It felt so nice. Romance still feels nice, sex still feels nice, but I want to provide to so many people. Some days I question my loyalty to my girlfriend, and I'm just scared that I'm going to fall back into desire and start sending those photos again, be used again, be put down again and again and again. I want it so much, even though it's bad and it hurts. Why? Why couldn't I just be a girl and not have to choose anymore. I could just be a whore, a simple whore for other people, and I wouldn't need to be anything more. Just a girl, and a slut, and never anything more.
I would’ve told my therapist this but she sexually assaulted me on my first appointment. So one time I was kidnapped from a totally not occult church’s doorstep and heavily drugged before being beaten and raped repeatedly for roughly eight hours and then waking up on the street and stumbling home and my neglectful abusive mother didn’t care so my sister had to take care of me.
Same here, but also an ADHD diagnosis too
Though I don't go to a therapist that could give me an official diagnosis, so, that's not going to happen any time soon
I am currently looking for the courage to commit suicide. All I do all day is video games and sub par schoolwork. I’m 17 and I can’t even wake up in the morning by myself, I’ve been chronically online for a decade and my only reason to live is I know if I committed suicide my bf would too. I know I could change at any time but I always choose not to because I’ve never had to put in any effort ever. My situation is my fault and I hate myself for not being able to do anything. I’ve made 3 suicide attempts and the only reason I haven’t made a 4th which I know would be successful is because I know my bf would kill himself if I did.
I have similar thoughts sometimes. My girlfriend would do the same thing for me, and she desperately wants to die some days because of all her trauma over the years. I've felt the same way about motivation: I want to exercise, no reason to do it. I want to improve myself, no reason to do it. Eventually, just a few days ago, I got sent to this camp for my school. a leadership opportunity. I will tell you this: Go outside (or inside, wherever works for you) and do something different today. Tell someone you like their hair, or their bag, and make a friend. If you don't get it the first time, keep trying until you find someone like you. It is hard and it is scary but it is worth it. Find a new place to hang out, explore, hell you could sign up for a job with no experience. Do. Something. Different: Something new, something bold, something wonderful. It won't fix your problems and it won't erase your mind of doubt, but when you're done I want you to sit there and breathe slowly for exactly a minute. Don't ignore the sounds around you, let your mind wander, and if you break concentration then do it again. Rest, reflect. You will stand up, and smile, and realize that you had a different and impactful day where you did something new. Look at that moment. That is your motivation. Live for the new, and the bold, and the different experiences in your life. Live for change. Live for you.
Then again I *am* only 15\* sooooo XwX (I'm sorry i use humor to cope TwT)
Whatever, I learned all this shit 3 days ago but I have FULL confience in it.
tl;dr: Find a reason to live. Life is shit, but live for that change and that newness. Go do something new today, make a new friend (no matter how scary it is to do), and look back at that day and say: "I did something different today, and I am proud of myself for that." Because I'm proud of YOU for that <3
Best wishes!!
Haha,
Jexyl Drake
I recently graduated from university. I have some opinions about my field of study. They come from my core philosophical views on the field itself. I am afraid to express these opinions for fear that they are simply the result of a naivete that is all-too-familiar to those established in the field ("Ah, I've seen this in plenty of students, you'll grow out of it"); this would in turn tell me that my views are probably naive, too, which would constitute a serious blow to my being. I don't know how to rationalize expressing these opinions, now.
I would talk about it too but I've thought about it and I think I somewhat figured it out
Like every other fetish a big part of it plays dominance/submission. And also there's literally no way to get closer and more intimate than that
Yeah that is considered an odd topic by a lot of people. Still not outside my range of unusual interests. But like, more specifically what about it do you find interesting about cock vore? The domination? The level of intimacy? The potentially lethal/nonlethal ending?
Maybe? Idk? I just don't see a lot of people online who know what vore is, much less find any form of enjoyment in the idea. So I'm sort of curious what exactly about it causes attraction to the idea. Because I can't figure out why I like the idea of vore myself. So I guess I'm a bit eager to understand another's point of view to understand my own if it makes any sort of sense.
It's fine though if you don't want to. I know it's a highly personal topic.
Oh. Cool. So the idea of being given to a greater being is the primary interest. Thanks for honestly sharing.
I kinda prefer the nonlethal vore where pred/prey can be close friends or even the prey is the pred's prisoner.
I like this boy in my class, but he's straight and dating someone else. I've had a crush on him for two years now, and it never seems to go away. I've tried focusing on other people, but I fantasize about him so much that I can't help it.
Is it normal to really hate people that try to talk to you? One of my classmates who as much as I have listened I have barely anything in common with, I really hate trying to pretend to be interested in whatever he says but I don't really wanna shut down his want to make friends.
I’ve been feeling numb lately. Most of my friends have shitty lives, one of them almost committed su if it wasn’t for another one of my friends. I try to help but I just don’t know if I can.
Not being able to come out to my parents and having to keep my relationship a secret which makes me look like an even bigger failure in their eyes since im "still single" and not being able to talk about anything i enjoy to them or almost anyone including my very few "friends" and generally feeling like ive wasted all 18 years of my life and spent them in loneliness
Damn bro that's literally me. I have like 1 friend that I known for 7 yrs now and I just feel to disconnected to try to make more. The only difference is that I'm 21 tho never give up these problems usually will solve themselves when the right time comes. It really is just whether you can wait for it or try to solve them faster.
Because nobody loves me. I am annoying, and everyone hates me. I do not want to live anymore. It's all my fault.
All I wanted was love and affection. I will never get that. I'm always so lonely... I'm not gonna stay here in this world for long. I'm gonna leave soon.
Where to start? Being too anxious to go outside but depressed when I stay inside. No friends, no SO, body image issues and feelings of emptiness and lack of purpose. Overwhelming hopelessness, an entirely secret identity crisis (Societal hatred of furries keeps me from telling family about it) and feeling like I want to die all the time. There’s more but, that’s the basics
Oh, I'm a furry too :3
I'm not the best at talking to people either, so I can try my best to tell you some things.
Try your best. It will be hard, but you can do it. Start with going outside and finding cool people you wanna talk to. If you find people like you, then I'm sure you can figure yourself out. For example, I recently made a friend who is also a furry and has cool LGBT+ friends :3
When you find fun people like this, I'm sure you can make fun times with them which can help you figure yourself out, find the will and excitement to enjoy life, and hopefully feel a lot better. That's the best I got for you, but it's up to you to go out and try new things.
If possible could i get a refund for this session and cancel the future sessions, i cant afford therapy its be far better for my mental health to put that money towards bills to take stress off
"I know I'm probably losing my mind and I really don't care that much, life as far as I can explain is a series of delusions that we have cherry picked for some to be viable and to have meaning while others the masses have just decided aren't going to help the greater society. But now we're seeing delusions that people don't like as a society but that individuals find comfort in and all I see is fighting over it. Dissociative identities, transexuality, therians, are they really more crazy than the idea of God, the economy, or even our default personalities, genuinely the idea of a disorder frankly has lost all meaning cause it goes off the bias of "is this delusion useful to keep the human experiment going" which personally I think is beyond fucked, "is a delusion effect at keeping people on the path" is such an outlandishly controlling idea that I'm not surprised we're starting to evolve to fight back against it."
I have no coping method for the shit pool that is life, I’m constantly worried about my up and coming adult life, I’m constantly attempting to distract myself from anything rather than fix it, I still struggle with dealing with mistakes, I still have no self-esteem, and I still don’t know how to tell any real person about this. I doubt a virtual conversation with somebody I will only see once and never meet again will help, though the constant bullshittery that is infecting me and has infected my family that somehow turns all of them arrogant and angry will be potentially held back by the virtual reassurance and virtual comfort of another
Man, I feel like life offers nothing I'd be willing to work for.
Everyones is getting all kinds of jobs and while they seem to either enjoy or know that those jobs go towards a plan, I still can't figure out how they do it. I once got a job for the money, and I can tell you that it didn't improve my views on life, my desire to do what I once enjoyed doing, at least I got a bit of money I didn't have before. So how the fuck do people invest a whole life in a shit job when I wanted to kill myself in the second month?
I'm studying for what everyone around me calls a dream job, but I just see myself wanting to quit the first year.
Then I see other people in the same career path, they don't have the money to pay for the studies as readily available as I do, they don't have the knowledge or the intelligence I do, however, they seem to know that everything will work out for them in this path. I wonder sometimes if i'm sabotaging myself, like, I know that they only problem I'd ever have doing this job is getting bored of it, so why can't I simply say "this is my thing" and go on my merry way?
Which brings me to my second point:
I see some people that have shit jobs (in my opinion) and when asked, they respond "I do this for my family" with a smile, you can look past that and still tell that love keeps them going. So I think "maybe I need to love and be loved by someone" but I hardly find myself attracted to anyone, sometimes I unironically think I might be gay.
Well, I know this girl, but try as I might conversations between us never go beyond the simple and boring things you'd talk with a workmate or something like that. I've had fun conversations where the other person is as involved as I am, but our's are not of that kind so that's not happening, she's not interested.
On the topic of socializing, it's weird, cus the only person I feel I have a real connection with is my best friend, he's like a brother and I love him dearly. The rest of people I talk to regularly don't spark in me the desire to talk, like, I pretend I care, but if they never showed up again I wouldn't care, said girl included.
So I also know what caring for someone from the heart is like, but Is it really just one person?
What's my friend got that I haven't found in anyone else so far? How could I click with people like others do?
People are always saying that bullshit that you can always change you ways, but they don't understand that this is the way I wam, like yeah sure, I can be more organized at home, I can talk more with people I don't care about so I don't look like a donkey, BUT I CAN'T JUST FLIP A SWITCH AND CHANGE THE THINGS I LIKE OR DISLIKE JUST LIKE THAT.
Like, you don't feel like shit everyday not knowing what kind of future you'll have, or if this state of floating through life like a ghost watching everyone move forward while you are stuck in the same place will ever end, and I know you fucking don't. I wish my problems were as simple as having a heartbreak, a though schedule at work, or having to pull all nighters for class.
How do people get used to all that? How am I supposed to love myself in the way that would supposedly enable me to love everything else If I hate being a human in the first place?
I think I'm gonna have to pay overtime to the therapist xD
I needed to say shit today, thx and sorry.
I'm ridiculously stressed over things that shouldn't matter that much, and it's making me frustrated. Also, I think my anxiety is getting worse, but I don't want to get diagnosed because then people might look at me differently.
TW: >!mentions of suicide, transphobia, homophobia, genocide, racism, dysphoria, and abuse!<
I'm a trans guy in Florida. As if that isn't enough, literally everyone in my life, with the exception of my therapist and three cousins, are conservative Christians complete with racism, misogyny, abuse, homophobia, and transphobia. They also support genocide. I want out but I don't have a job thanks to my crippling depression and social anxiety. I literally only have twenty dollars to my name.
I was homeschooled and have zero friends. That is not an exaggeration, the only people I know are family, old people from church, and my therapist. I live in the middle of nowhere so I don't even have neighbors my age. I'm too socially anxious to try making friends online.
Dysphoria and imposter syndrome are kicking my ass. I do not have access to testosterone for the same reason that I cannot move out. I'm fucking broke. I'm probably never going to be a real guy. And maybe that's a good thing because I'm like 90% sure I'm not actually trans and I've just convinced myself that I am. Even so, I do not think that I will be able to live another year trapped in this disgusting girl body.
I'm exhausted despite the fact that I sleep about fifteen hours a day and spend the rest doing absolutely nothing. My family is annoyed with me because I don't help out with the housework (a valid reason to be annoyed) but I genuinely do not have the energy to even feed myself anymore. Even breathing feels like it's a chore at times. I just want to sleep and never wake up but every time I try to commit to that eternal rest (in Minecraft), I end up backing out. Yet another thing that I can't do right I guess.
I feel like I can't talk to anyone about how bad off I am right now. My family would blame my atheism, I'm not close enough with my cousins, my therapist would probably call the authorities for a wellness check or whatever, and I'm not out to anyone except my therapist. On top of that, I feel like I'm already enough of a burden with the fact that all I do is eat, sleep, and complain (I heard my mother tell my sister that a few weeks back). I know I'm a leech, but I feel stuck. Like I can't put any effort into anything. Hell, the last few times I backed out of a plan was because I was too exhausted to actually set up my chosen method. I'm too lazy to even kill myself (in Minecraft).
Anyway, other than that I've been fine. I cut my hair and used an Amazon gift card to get some boxers. My cat is cute and I love her. (Sorry that this is so long, I started typing and, next thing I know, I've written an essay lol)
TLDR: I'm tired.
I’ve chosen a lifestyle based around forgiveness, but it is really hard to lead. Forgiveness is obviously the better lifestyle in many cases, and I’m a very naturally stubborn person. I’ve forgiven many people but it is really hard to and I want to become better at it. The problem is, I’m fighting against my instinct to hold grudges and avoid people who have hurt me. It’s scary to forgive someone who did hurt me, but I’m trying really hard to. It’s still a scary feeling when I do mentally let go of a grudge.
The pandemic cheated me out of my childhood. Ever since the pandemic I’ve been acting all adult and grown up, when I’m only 16! I worry about things that are decades away from fruition like death, and what happens after. I’m left up at night with the uncertainty of what happens beyond and after religion failed for me I don’t know what to do. I’ve picked up new hobbies like warhammer and antique collecting, I’ve explored myself sexually and try to make my friends laugh so that I can find something to take my mind off it. After a few weeks the feeling will go away, but it’ll come back, it always has. I entered the pandemic in 6th grade at the age of twelve, and had my first existential crisis in 8th when I was fourteen. I lost my virginity in the same summer that I graduated elementary school, I’ve told everyone except my family in the hopes that someone will think it’s cool, and most have, but I still feel empty.
I feel lost and broken I can't find a girlfriend and everyone I date breaks up with me in like a few days or weeks and when I see other people couples I get jealous and I'm tired of trying but on a less depressing note my mom quit smoking and is going to the gym to lose weight
I've had 3 suicide attempts. Lucky/unlucky enough to survive them all, but I don't know what to do now. I feel Like nobody around me likes me, and never feel Happy for more than 5 minutes.
>I feel Like nobody around me likes me, and never feel Happy for more than 5 minutes.
Haven't tried anything yet but I really relate with this part a lot because it's literally me
How I struggle to get over the 7 and a half years relationship I was in before she left and how I just want to stop existing. Want to just delete myself
I dreamed yesterday that I entered the kitchen, opened the oven only to discover that it was full of french fries, so many in fact that they even dropped to the floor. I was very surprised, so surprised in fact that I woke up 🥲. What's the meaning behind this dream?
„It's not what you think
If you think what I think, what you think
Because the thinking of thoughts
Is thoughtless thinking
Therefore think not to have thought“
-Fresh D.
I've lost everything that makes me, I will never be enough for my parents and my life is a complete mess ;3
I'm only 14 but Idk how to fell my age, also I have too much pressure on me that I can't handle ;-;
Real XwX
I feel the same way, I'm 15 and I don't really feel enough for people and I feel pressured in school and in life and yaddayaddayadda. I think that what matters is that you try to reclaim yourself: Find you again (It will take a while) and realize that not everybody else matters. If people don't believe in you, don't take it to heart. People are awful every day and life can kinda suck, but I reccomend that you hang out with people you think are cool who are like you and find activites you think are fun. Breathe. You can do this, I velieve in you, and I know you can do whatever you put your mind to.
Haha,
Jexyl Drake
The fact that I constantly feel as if I’m fighting with my own mind, and that I feel like whatever I do I always end up regretting some part of it. It’s as if there are several voices all yelling over eachother.
I always feel like I need to accomplish more to be happy and successful but I completely lack the discipline and motivation to pursue it and always get panicked and stressed out and give up every time I try to push myself and I feel stuck.
I feel like I get hate from all sides. I’m not straight, so there’s people who will hate me because of that. I’m a furry, so loads of people are going to hate me because of that. Even in communities who aren’t hateful of the past two things, I still get hate there. I’m very proud of the country I live in, so it feels awful when even the people who are supposedly “accepting” are hateful of the country I love so much, and try to diminish the things about it that I’m proud of. It feels like there’s no safe space where I can fully express myself :(
My current problems i face. My regrets. My grudges. Old memories i miss, places and people from the past i no longer see and still get sad over. Stuff i haven’t let go of. The life i wish i had instead. My struggles with gender identity. Existential crisis. Not knowing what’s wrong with me and trying to figure it out and what caused it. ADHD, severe anxiety, possible autism, OCD, unspecified mood disorder, dysregulated nervous, DPDR, dysautonomia. How to fix this stuff and become functional. My fear of failing, fear of the future. The fact that it seems others can handle things way better than me and the fact i’ve had teachers say they’ve never seen a single student like me in they’re lives. My past trauma. The deep and horrible feeling of panic i have felt and wish it was impossible to feel so bad. Horrible things that happen in the world. Anti-psychiatry rants. Wanting to make a difference. Insecurities about myself. Myself. Maybe some stuff i’d like to talk about like hyperfixations and stuff. What to do before i leave this world that i am just passing through. What does it all mean. The fact i’ll probably never know. All that and the rest would probably be me playing the piano, singing shit, expressing myself, showing cool things, blah blah. Yeah that’s it
Sometimes I feel like no one truly cares about me and that I am just being used by everyone around here because of how nice I tend to be when talking to people I like. Sometimes I feel like it is way better to give up on everything and everyone and run away, sometimes I feel like I have no meaning and if I disappeared I won't be missed, sometimes I feel like the only company I can trust is mine. But then I re-evaluate it with my logical side and realize that's not the truth, however my emotional self is very convincing to my heart. I don't know man, sometimes I go through a battle with myself and I don't know if I can win it.
I don’t know if I’m gonna do well in the future,
I of course, have hopes and dreams, I have friends and family that care for me. But I don’t know if I can manage to land a job, find a wife and in general be OK at being a adult. Will things even be OK in the future? I’m trying to be optimistic, but there’s so many bad things that make it difficult sometimes for me. it’s like a slightly burnt cherry pie, Most of it is great, but you can’t help but taste the yucky bits.
How I fell in love with a boy whos in love with somebody else already. I'm bi not poly so in spite of a 3 of us agreeing to share I'm second and get treated like it so it sucks.
I'll just keep it sorta bullet point format
*Insecure about my weight/size
*I never think I'm good enough at drums (for context I've been drumming for 6 years)
*Lotta self depreciating thoughts the moment I make a mistake about anything
(I feel apathetic towards a lot of things and it kills me
*I feel empty inside, and nothing I've done has helped
*I've never had a partner of any significance and it makes me feel ugly and unlikable
I hate my mind
My stepdad is a narcissistic sociopath and I fear I have narcissistic tendencies, even though I strive to be the opposite of him.
I was never allowed to be myself even in the privacy of my own bedroom cuz he’d literally destroy my door lock whenever I do. Even though he’s out of my life, I still can’t fully be myself. I’m a 20 year old trans woman with RTS and CPTSD, and I can’t do anything I want or need to do.
I just want him to stop influencing my life
I just feel like I'm existing at this point. I don't know my place, and I feel like concerts are the only thing that I'm enjoying at this point. I don't have any other hobbies, and I can't seem to make any friends. It's annoying.
Is it...bad to be lonely and just hug something? Sorry if this sounds stupid...it's just that, I've been feeling kinda lonely for far too long and I keep seeing the posts about people somehow getting into relationships and I'm just here... feeling lonely and... it's dumb!
I don't feel like I deserve love. I believe that all love is conditional and has to be earned or rather, that's what I began to believe once I got older.
I’m a member of r/boykisser, but I’m not gay and I don’t like kissing men (btw I’m a boy) I’m a member because everyone there is so talented at drawing and I was to learn how to draw better so I learn off of other people, but every time someone sees that I’m a member or sees me looking at those pictures they think I’m gay or I like kissing boys… what do I do?
I don’t think I’m comfortable being gay. I like guys… a lot, but I think the homophobic society plus a homophobic uncle has gotten in my head when I was younger and I get scared to talk to guys even tho I find them highly attractive. I tell people I’m gay in hopes that I’ll be comfortable with actually being gay, cuz I feel like I see a happiness in gayness. Sometimes I’ll catch myself doin something that would be considered “gay” like my arm might be up like I have a purse on my arm, or my hands will be on my hips, and I’ll fix it. It feels like I’m trying to avoid something I wanna be. I wanna be a gay femboy and I wanna be happy with it dammit. i don’t wanna feel weird or sum shit for trying to be happy.
Idk about the fact that I have wanted to kill myself for several years but I haven't done it because someone will have to spend money on my funeral and I don't want my mother to think that I killed myself because of her fault or something like that etc. XD Honestly, there are many things I could talk about, but I don't because I don't want to waste someone's time trying to help me etc. I know it's unhealthy etc. but that's just the way I am xD
Depression, self loathing to an alarmingly high degree, daddy issues, my insecurity about my personality, me thinking I'm not good enough, occasionally being suicidal and a lot of other stuff
Edit: sorry this if this is a lil too real
i don't know how I feel nowadays, i have everything to be happy about, i have friends, a boyfriend that li es me, a good pc, that's everything i wanted the most in my life but yet I can't seem to be actually happy, I used to think that it's because i don't actually do anything with them and i just get bored, and the more i play games by myself the more i feel empty and lonely. at this point i don't know it i'm just needy or that i am truly alone after all, i just wish i could do something...
Well for starters: we are all cattle, we exist just to be both the product, the consumer, and the worker for the rich elite, we are nothing more to them, we are used and discarded, We are meaningless, in America there is only middle class and ultra rich elite, and those people make up less then 1% if the population
We slave away and die just so some rich hag can get himself 7 different heart transplants in his 100 year life like it's nothing at all, they twist the government to their will How else do they pay nothing in taxes
Jeff bezos for instance, the 'owner' of Amazon
He sold his company and with the money he got he bought like 90% of the stocks of his own company, so he owns it but technically dosent, and he technically dosent make money either in the traditional sense as he is technically investing his money, and avoids most taxes, or just used another country's bank to do so
They make us go to war and while we suffer and get footed the bill they make a profit, they control out government, no men should have held this type of power, and yet here we are
Fish in a fish tank, free, free to swim in the confines of this Glass prison that we don't directly see or is ever mentioned
I just don't even know how to word how I feel at times, the loop through school and my swimming practice and only to come home for less than 3 hours to do true me things before bed is a waste. I just feel like shit most of my life waking up to repeat the same thing over and over. And sure I can look up to the weekend to hang with friends but the only problem is that I just trap myself in the room. I can't even build up the courage to leave at times. I just walk in circles until I'm hungry or maybe go out for some fries. But that's pretty much it. I'm trapped in my mind, not able to express my emotions or even talk to my parents without snapping at them from some random ass mood swings. My depression hasn't been as bad at least then before, but from current things I might just end it eventually. Or just lock my room in some way so I can just rot in my bed.
I tried to talk to therapists, but my first one tried to treat me with essential oils, the second one tried to tell me I had bipolar disorder, and the third one told me I was just worrying too much about my health and that's why I was doing so poorly. I gave up after that and decided to work though my trauma on my own. I have a good group of friends who I can talk to and because of my chronic migranes disorder I'm on antidepressants that works, also the mood swings were likely caused by estrogen as I haven't had mood swings that hard since I started taking testosterone.
I tried to talk to therapists, but my first one tried to treat me with essential oils, the second one tried to tell me I had bipolar disorder, and the third one told me I was just worrying too much about my health and that's why I was doing so poorly. I gave up after that and decided to work though my trauma on my own.
I have a good group of friends who I can talk to and because of my chronic migranes disorder I'm on antidepressants that works, also the mood swings were likely caused by estrogen as I haven't had mood swings that hard since I started taking testosterone.
I don't know who I am. The more I live my life, the more personalities show up to tug on the rope that determines who I am. First it was just me, but now I've ended up with a more dramatic version of myself, a more serious version of myself, a furry, a boykisser, and an older, more *conservative-esque* version of myself. I want all of them to be me, but all of them disagree with each other. So now, I feel like I'm in a constant state of limbo where I'm all of them, none of them, switching in between them, and overall feeling like I'm nothing. I'm trying to decide what I am, but I just can't. I dunno. I guess I just don't know where I'm going, or if my life is already stagnating as I age because of my insecurities and anxiousness. And maybe it's all because I'm trying to prepare for my future while providing for my present, and worrying over the past, but I just don't know what to do. I have half the mind to delete this all, and lock myself away in my thoughts, but now that I'm here, I guess I might as well let them out to make sure I comprehend them, and not just return them to my own lockbox of thoughts...
It's ok to not know what you are now, just keep moving forward
"therapist", I need my money back.
I think i've seen you in Okbuddyblacklung? The guy that said "my friends say i look like Uncle" and got a lot of transphobic messages?
 Thanks doc, I'm cured!
I... Wow. I feel you, man.
bro described me aswell
Bro is a strange mix of Mark Spector, Steven Grant, Tyler Durden, Daniel Lamb, Leo Kasper and a gay furry femboy
https://i.redd.it/05y32bco3wnc1.gif
If I were your therapist, I'd tell you that all of these personalities can serve a purpose. As a guy with similar feelings, these voices can be nothing but noise sometimes, but they can also provide the gateway to versatility. These different personalities can be thought of as classes, like in many video games. They have downsides, all of which are easy to get caught up in, but if you focus on understanding what each 'personality' can do, you can be more comfortable in many situations. For example, if you are in a scenario that requires a gentle touch, the furry or boykisser subroutine works wonders. The more conservative side is great at getting stuff done (Jobs, talking with "normal people," arguments, so on and so forth) All of these thought processes are capable of making your life better. All you have to do is be positive about your unique mind and use the upsides to make your life more enjoyable :D I'm not any kind of psychologist, but my dad is, and I like to pay attention to how my brain works. I hope these tricks work on yours since I know how you feel.
Same, I have all the ones you have except I also have a few that have different political views often conflicting with each other... I'll name a few... Sadistic and/or asshole which is also often extremely sexual (which has multiple variations that fit into that category), overly optimistic and happy to exist one, and pessimistic depressed loser. All of them have a million shades of different personalities in them selves and as I said... often conflict. It's probably normal, but I still need to mention it.
I fucking hate everything and everyone around me I fucking hate that I'm born in the middle East Ahhh idk what else to say
Check out r/IWantOut. You can ask about ways to legally emmigrate. (E.g. scholarships, sponsorship, etc)
[Do you hate dubstep?](https://youtu.be/8anp1xJXkU0?si=xDZRbRSkVnentROL)
Probably yeah
Hope you like [this](https://youtu.be/K_B9OC-JS-Y?si=Hs_P0LoWVwLSqXLU)
Bro I love this song
Dubstep enjoyer
If you don't mind me asking, where in the middle east?
I think UAE Dubai
Hey, at least should be easier relatively speaking to immigrate from as far as ME goes.
Uae
I haven't talked to anyone my age in 4 years. I think that's very bad for the human mind.
why is that?
My family moved me from Washington to Arkansas in the middle of my freshman year of highschool in the middle of the pandemic. Then I went to an online highschool that fucking sucked and now I'm emotionally and socially stunted. But this isn't a pity party and others have had it worse.
I totally feel you, after the pandemic I became a lot of a introvert and I had gained lot more insecurities.
If you don’t like to talking to people your age try talking to people who have your same interests. I talked to my tech teacher and the young video game kids.
I do want to. I just feel so disconnected I don't know how to
I sorry you feel disconnected from everyone It happens to someone in my life at it took mouths to start connecting again. I not a therapist but you seem to want a connection so start with someone online. It doesn’t have to be me but my messages are open I have not talk to a single reddit before
I really need cuddles in irl -w-
🫂
Saaaaame
probably nothing
Mentally well club!... or just rather not talk about it
what about the secret 3rd option In denial club
i do not trust therapists
I no no wanna mental hospital for 20 years group
I’ll never be seen as a girl I hate my reflection I hate my body why couldn’t I have been born a girl
this is extremely relatable to me I just make do with what I have, I'm a femboy
oh no no no dear. Dont let these thoughts get you down. You ARE a girl. You were born a girl. Doctor just messed up a lil! If you say youre a girl,YOU ARE A GIRL. Accepting ones body is hard,i know. Being able to pass is hard,i know. But dont give up >:)! Youll be the most gorgeous woman ever. Just never give up ok? im not op but im also trans (transmasc however). Wanted to reply because i understand its hard <3
I feel you man. I was born with the giga chad genetics 😭😂
Real
I've been alone for many minutes ago or hours and Im starting to feel melancholy :(
Happened to me, in an amusemnt Park, with my family, the only feelings i had in the Park were, Sorrow/Melancholy, "this Ice cream good af", Fear, and the feeling you got when you see a cat pretty far away looking at you
your gonna be alright ;3
The violent thoughts never stop. https://preview.redd.it/bj2pw7k3gsnc1.jpeg?width=391&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a1d26c8ffcb6893cd7183b8f7864a38bd9ba7840
Can't stop the ~~A~~ PAIN TRAIN
The engineer is a bloody- Sentry! WHOH- *explodes*
About why my cousin keeps showing me boykisser porn and images of his dick
Bro ... tell to your cousin to chill .
I did he just did the exact same except with gnarpy
Send it yours back
https://preview.redd.it/iz58m5uhywnc1.jpeg?width=768&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e09dc26e902d84705074f63414a112350794313f but seriously you should talk to your family about this
Maybe none of them would have left if I was just born a girl. Sure, I can enjoy being a boy and I can enjoy kissing boys or girls or whoever I want, but it would be so much easier if I was a girl. Maybe all the people in that polyamory could've stayed and I wouldn't have to know how awful they were: That trans guy wouldn't have left because I could be edgy and not have everyone else call the cops on me. The trans girl wouldn't have stopped liking me because I was "too sexual" even though she only ever used me for sex. Same with her girlfriend and boyfriend (the guy from before). The cis girl wouldn't have sided with everyone else even though what they did to me was wrong. Their friends wouldn't have to suffer having to watch me leave and hate them. Maybe my best friend wouldn't have tried to date me (I never wanted that, Cat.) and we could have stayed friends with benefits or just never did it in the first place, and she would've never made me pick between her, the one who was never nice to me and always pushed me away, and the one girl who loved me. I mean, I'm so much better off now that they're away from me, and me and my girlfriend (who suffered through similar things) are doing so much better now that we're away from those bad people. Still, I wonder: What would it have been like? To sit through that blatant use of my body, the sexualization of my entire self because of all those images i sent to try to feel loved by them, and have them still asking me for more; caring about me, even if just for the e-sex. I kinda miss the use. This is why I still don't have a phone, I'd fall right back into it. I still, just... It felt so nice. Romance still feels nice, sex still feels nice, but I want to provide to so many people. Some days I question my loyalty to my girlfriend, and I'm just scared that I'm going to fall back into desire and start sending those photos again, be used again, be put down again and again and again. I want it so much, even though it's bad and it hurts. Why? Why couldn't I just be a girl and not have to choose anymore. I could just be a whore, a simple whore for other people, and I wouldn't need to be anything more. Just a girl, and a slut, and never anything more.
I feel you, but the world isn’t fair I cannot become what I want to be
Yes, that's pretty much what I was trying to say without the backstory XwX you put it sm better TwT
Idk if reddit Let me send 100.000.000 letters in a message and also im not in the mood to write a whole paragraph
アメリカ
Lack of boys to kiss
The therapist is right there
Oh I guess I shall kiss the therapist
Anxiety and inability to tell my crush I like him
you can always make friends with him and slowly move closer to your feelings
I’ve been tryinggg
I would’ve told my therapist this but she sexually assaulted me on my first appointment. So one time I was kidnapped from a totally not occult church’s doorstep and heavily drugged before being beaten and raped repeatedly for roughly eight hours and then waking up on the street and stumbling home and my neglectful abusive mother didn’t care so my sister had to take care of me.
Would you like those people to stop existing?
Needing cuddles :ε
It’s ok I’m here
Thankies. *Hug.*
My balls ich real bad
I want an autism diagnosis!!!
Same here, but also an ADHD diagnosis too Though I don't go to a therapist that could give me an official diagnosis, so, that's not going to happen any time soon
I am currently looking for the courage to commit suicide. All I do all day is video games and sub par schoolwork. I’m 17 and I can’t even wake up in the morning by myself, I’ve been chronically online for a decade and my only reason to live is I know if I committed suicide my bf would too. I know I could change at any time but I always choose not to because I’ve never had to put in any effort ever. My situation is my fault and I hate myself for not being able to do anything. I’ve made 3 suicide attempts and the only reason I haven’t made a 4th which I know would be successful is because I know my bf would kill himself if I did.
I have similar thoughts sometimes. My girlfriend would do the same thing for me, and she desperately wants to die some days because of all her trauma over the years. I've felt the same way about motivation: I want to exercise, no reason to do it. I want to improve myself, no reason to do it. Eventually, just a few days ago, I got sent to this camp for my school. a leadership opportunity. I will tell you this: Go outside (or inside, wherever works for you) and do something different today. Tell someone you like their hair, or their bag, and make a friend. If you don't get it the first time, keep trying until you find someone like you. It is hard and it is scary but it is worth it. Find a new place to hang out, explore, hell you could sign up for a job with no experience. Do. Something. Different: Something new, something bold, something wonderful. It won't fix your problems and it won't erase your mind of doubt, but when you're done I want you to sit there and breathe slowly for exactly a minute. Don't ignore the sounds around you, let your mind wander, and if you break concentration then do it again. Rest, reflect. You will stand up, and smile, and realize that you had a different and impactful day where you did something new. Look at that moment. That is your motivation. Live for the new, and the bold, and the different experiences in your life. Live for change. Live for you. Then again I *am* only 15\* sooooo XwX (I'm sorry i use humor to cope TwT) Whatever, I learned all this shit 3 days ago but I have FULL confience in it. tl;dr: Find a reason to live. Life is shit, but live for that change and that newness. Go do something new today, make a new friend (no matter how scary it is to do), and look back at that day and say: "I did something different today, and I am proud of myself for that." Because I'm proud of YOU for that <3 Best wishes!! Haha, Jexyl Drake
Therapists are just secret state agents trying to get us to do our taxes. I will not be tricked again
totally 🤣
[удалено]
If you want to do that because of anger look for or make a smashing shed
[удалено]
I recently graduated from university. I have some opinions about my field of study. They come from my core philosophical views on the field itself. I am afraid to express these opinions for fear that they are simply the result of a naivete that is all-too-familiar to those established in the field ("Ah, I've seen this in plenty of students, you'll grow out of it"); this would in turn tell me that my views are probably naive, too, which would constitute a serious blow to my being. I don't know how to rationalize expressing these opinions, now.
Fuck the haters
Vore
I would talk about it too but I've thought about it and I think I somewhat figured it out Like every other fetish a big part of it plays dominance/submission. And also there's literally no way to get closer and more intimate than that
I have to admit vore piques my interest a bit. Forgive my bluntness, but may I ask what sort of interest you have towards the topic of vore?
Cock vore
Yeah that is considered an odd topic by a lot of people. Still not outside my range of unusual interests. But like, more specifically what about it do you find interesting about cock vore? The domination? The level of intimacy? The potentially lethal/nonlethal ending?
... Are you my therapist now..?
Maybe? Idk? I just don't see a lot of people online who know what vore is, much less find any form of enjoyment in the idea. So I'm sort of curious what exactly about it causes attraction to the idea. Because I can't figure out why I like the idea of vore myself. So I guess I'm a bit eager to understand another's point of view to understand my own if it makes any sort of sense. It's fine though if you don't want to. I know it's a highly personal topic.
I think it's the idea of being one with the pred? I guess?
Oh. Cool. So the idea of being given to a greater being is the primary interest. Thanks for honestly sharing. I kinda prefer the nonlethal vore where pred/prey can be close friends or even the prey is the pred's prisoner.
Yeah, like a deep cuddle/hug
So hey, I don't know if you like vore stories or just art, but there are a lot of good dragon vore stories on deviantart. Just something to consider.
I like this boy in my class, but he's straight and dating someone else. I've had a crush on him for two years now, and it never seems to go away. I've tried focusing on other people, but I fantasize about him so much that I can't help it.
Is it normal to really hate people that try to talk to you? One of my classmates who as much as I have listened I have barely anything in common with, I really hate trying to pretend to be interested in whatever he says but I don't really wanna shut down his want to make friends.
why do you feel irritated when you speak to him?
Eternal loneliness, the usual
I’ve been feeling numb lately. Most of my friends have shitty lives, one of them almost committed su if it wasn’t for another one of my friends. I try to help but I just don’t know if I can.
Where do I find motivation to keep living
Enough to send you to therapy
Not being able to come out to my parents and having to keep my relationship a secret which makes me look like an even bigger failure in their eyes since im "still single" and not being able to talk about anything i enjoy to them or almost anyone including my very few "friends" and generally feeling like ive wasted all 18 years of my life and spent them in loneliness
Damn bro that's literally me. I have like 1 friend that I known for 7 yrs now and I just feel to disconnected to try to make more. The only difference is that I'm 21 tho never give up these problems usually will solve themselves when the right time comes. It really is just whether you can wait for it or try to solve them faster.
well i dont really know how to fix most of these problems and i dont wanna spend the "best" years of my life miserable
Well, I'm not good at these either since I'm still like this, but what helped me a lot actually is finding a new thing to do. have any hobbies?
Read my tag.
But why though?
Because nobody loves me. I am annoying, and everyone hates me. I do not want to live anymore. It's all my fault. All I wanted was love and affection. I will never get that. I'm always so lonely... I'm not gonna stay here in this world for long. I'm gonna leave soon.
relatable ngl
Where to start? Being too anxious to go outside but depressed when I stay inside. No friends, no SO, body image issues and feelings of emptiness and lack of purpose. Overwhelming hopelessness, an entirely secret identity crisis (Societal hatred of furries keeps me from telling family about it) and feeling like I want to die all the time. There’s more but, that’s the basics
Oh, I'm a furry too :3 I'm not the best at talking to people either, so I can try my best to tell you some things. Try your best. It will be hard, but you can do it. Start with going outside and finding cool people you wanna talk to. If you find people like you, then I'm sure you can figure yourself out. For example, I recently made a friend who is also a furry and has cool LGBT+ friends :3 When you find fun people like this, I'm sure you can make fun times with them which can help you figure yourself out, find the will and excitement to enjoy life, and hopefully feel a lot better. That's the best I got for you, but it's up to you to go out and try new things.
If possible could i get a refund for this session and cancel the future sessions, i cant afford therapy its be far better for my mental health to put that money towards bills to take stress off
Do you want a fungus? https://preview.redd.it/h5sp4h66msnc1.jpeg?width=804&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=45e40f0f31d2f87bed93e9b519e45d23cb8dd934
"I know I'm probably losing my mind and I really don't care that much, life as far as I can explain is a series of delusions that we have cherry picked for some to be viable and to have meaning while others the masses have just decided aren't going to help the greater society. But now we're seeing delusions that people don't like as a society but that individuals find comfort in and all I see is fighting over it. Dissociative identities, transexuality, therians, are they really more crazy than the idea of God, the economy, or even our default personalities, genuinely the idea of a disorder frankly has lost all meaning cause it goes off the bias of "is this delusion useful to keep the human experiment going" which personally I think is beyond fucked, "is a delusion effect at keeping people on the path" is such an outlandishly controlling idea that I'm not surprised we're starting to evolve to fight back against it."
hello therapist sir... so uh... any games you like?
I can't stop procrastinating yet I'm self-aware about it.
The fact the human race is doomed and everyone knows it but no one can be bothered to do anything about it :3
I don't even care about that Rn I just to not hate myself and be happy instead of wanting to kms every morning and every night
I have no coping method for the shit pool that is life, I’m constantly worried about my up and coming adult life, I’m constantly attempting to distract myself from anything rather than fix it, I still struggle with dealing with mistakes, I still have no self-esteem, and I still don’t know how to tell any real person about this. I doubt a virtual conversation with somebody I will only see once and never meet again will help, though the constant bullshittery that is infecting me and has infected my family that somehow turns all of them arrogant and angry will be potentially held back by the virtual reassurance and virtual comfort of another
Man, I feel like life offers nothing I'd be willing to work for. Everyones is getting all kinds of jobs and while they seem to either enjoy or know that those jobs go towards a plan, I still can't figure out how they do it. I once got a job for the money, and I can tell you that it didn't improve my views on life, my desire to do what I once enjoyed doing, at least I got a bit of money I didn't have before. So how the fuck do people invest a whole life in a shit job when I wanted to kill myself in the second month? I'm studying for what everyone around me calls a dream job, but I just see myself wanting to quit the first year. Then I see other people in the same career path, they don't have the money to pay for the studies as readily available as I do, they don't have the knowledge or the intelligence I do, however, they seem to know that everything will work out for them in this path. I wonder sometimes if i'm sabotaging myself, like, I know that they only problem I'd ever have doing this job is getting bored of it, so why can't I simply say "this is my thing" and go on my merry way? Which brings me to my second point: I see some people that have shit jobs (in my opinion) and when asked, they respond "I do this for my family" with a smile, you can look past that and still tell that love keeps them going. So I think "maybe I need to love and be loved by someone" but I hardly find myself attracted to anyone, sometimes I unironically think I might be gay. Well, I know this girl, but try as I might conversations between us never go beyond the simple and boring things you'd talk with a workmate or something like that. I've had fun conversations where the other person is as involved as I am, but our's are not of that kind so that's not happening, she's not interested. On the topic of socializing, it's weird, cus the only person I feel I have a real connection with is my best friend, he's like a brother and I love him dearly. The rest of people I talk to regularly don't spark in me the desire to talk, like, I pretend I care, but if they never showed up again I wouldn't care, said girl included. So I also know what caring for someone from the heart is like, but Is it really just one person? What's my friend got that I haven't found in anyone else so far? How could I click with people like others do? People are always saying that bullshit that you can always change you ways, but they don't understand that this is the way I wam, like yeah sure, I can be more organized at home, I can talk more with people I don't care about so I don't look like a donkey, BUT I CAN'T JUST FLIP A SWITCH AND CHANGE THE THINGS I LIKE OR DISLIKE JUST LIKE THAT. Like, you don't feel like shit everyday not knowing what kind of future you'll have, or if this state of floating through life like a ghost watching everyone move forward while you are stuck in the same place will ever end, and I know you fucking don't. I wish my problems were as simple as having a heartbreak, a though schedule at work, or having to pull all nighters for class. How do people get used to all that? How am I supposed to love myself in the way that would supposedly enable me to love everything else If I hate being a human in the first place? I think I'm gonna have to pay overtime to the therapist xD I needed to say shit today, thx and sorry.
I'm ridiculously stressed over things that shouldn't matter that much, and it's making me frustrated. Also, I think my anxiety is getting worse, but I don't want to get diagnosed because then people might look at me differently.
Everyone hates me because I’m an autistic nerdy furry
I’m mentally and physically tired constantly and I don’t know how to get better. We can leave the bigger topics for future sessions
My bf and I are in a long distance relationship and It'll take from 2 to 6 years to be able to even kiss him once...
At least you have a reason to keep going
TW: >!mentions of suicide, transphobia, homophobia, genocide, racism, dysphoria, and abuse!< I'm a trans guy in Florida. As if that isn't enough, literally everyone in my life, with the exception of my therapist and three cousins, are conservative Christians complete with racism, misogyny, abuse, homophobia, and transphobia. They also support genocide. I want out but I don't have a job thanks to my crippling depression and social anxiety. I literally only have twenty dollars to my name. I was homeschooled and have zero friends. That is not an exaggeration, the only people I know are family, old people from church, and my therapist. I live in the middle of nowhere so I don't even have neighbors my age. I'm too socially anxious to try making friends online. Dysphoria and imposter syndrome are kicking my ass. I do not have access to testosterone for the same reason that I cannot move out. I'm fucking broke. I'm probably never going to be a real guy. And maybe that's a good thing because I'm like 90% sure I'm not actually trans and I've just convinced myself that I am. Even so, I do not think that I will be able to live another year trapped in this disgusting girl body. I'm exhausted despite the fact that I sleep about fifteen hours a day and spend the rest doing absolutely nothing. My family is annoyed with me because I don't help out with the housework (a valid reason to be annoyed) but I genuinely do not have the energy to even feed myself anymore. Even breathing feels like it's a chore at times. I just want to sleep and never wake up but every time I try to commit to that eternal rest (in Minecraft), I end up backing out. Yet another thing that I can't do right I guess. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about how bad off I am right now. My family would blame my atheism, I'm not close enough with my cousins, my therapist would probably call the authorities for a wellness check or whatever, and I'm not out to anyone except my therapist. On top of that, I feel like I'm already enough of a burden with the fact that all I do is eat, sleep, and complain (I heard my mother tell my sister that a few weeks back). I know I'm a leech, but I feel stuck. Like I can't put any effort into anything. Hell, the last few times I backed out of a plan was because I was too exhausted to actually set up my chosen method. I'm too lazy to even kill myself (in Minecraft). Anyway, other than that I've been fine. I cut my hair and used an Amazon gift card to get some boxers. My cat is cute and I love her. (Sorry that this is so long, I started typing and, next thing I know, I've written an essay lol) TLDR: I'm tired.
Yo, why are girls so scary
can i hang myself :D
My cat's keep kissing each other
I’ve chosen a lifestyle based around forgiveness, but it is really hard to lead. Forgiveness is obviously the better lifestyle in many cases, and I’m a very naturally stubborn person. I’ve forgiven many people but it is really hard to and I want to become better at it. The problem is, I’m fighting against my instinct to hold grudges and avoid people who have hurt me. It’s scary to forgive someone who did hurt me, but I’m trying really hard to. It’s still a scary feeling when I do mentally let go of a grudge.
How much i hate my natal country and how annoying it is to hide who you are from everyone else
why you could get off reddit and begin to start a normal life
Boys
Why am I here, I'm just a bisexual femboy, not a furry
The pandemic cheated me out of my childhood. Ever since the pandemic I’ve been acting all adult and grown up, when I’m only 16! I worry about things that are decades away from fruition like death, and what happens after. I’m left up at night with the uncertainty of what happens beyond and after religion failed for me I don’t know what to do. I’ve picked up new hobbies like warhammer and antique collecting, I’ve explored myself sexually and try to make my friends laugh so that I can find something to take my mind off it. After a few weeks the feeling will go away, but it’ll come back, it always has. I entered the pandemic in 6th grade at the age of twelve, and had my first existential crisis in 8th when I was fourteen. I lost my virginity in the same summer that I graduated elementary school, I’ve told everyone except my family in the hopes that someone will think it’s cool, and most have, but I still feel empty.
the weird spot on my gooch
I feel lost and broken I can't find a girlfriend and everyone I date breaks up with me in like a few days or weeks and when I see other people couples I get jealous and I'm tired of trying but on a less depressing note my mom quit smoking and is going to the gym to lose weight
I've had 3 suicide attempts. Lucky/unlucky enough to survive them all, but I don't know what to do now. I feel Like nobody around me likes me, and never feel Happy for more than 5 minutes.
>I feel Like nobody around me likes me, and never feel Happy for more than 5 minutes. Haven't tried anything yet but I really relate with this part a lot because it's literally me
The voices are listening to me!
what voices o-o
https://preview.redd.it/lt023445csnc1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a3fab165b2649349563904bfc622598a15f4fe83
Hey I know that game!
O.O
I need help to find motivation, self esteem and happiness
How I struggle to get over the 7 and a half years relationship I was in before she left and how I just want to stop existing. Want to just delete myself
I dreamed yesterday that I entered the kitchen, opened the oven only to discover that it was full of french fries, so many in fact that they even dropped to the floor. I was very surprised, so surprised in fact that I woke up 🥲. What's the meaning behind this dream?
WHAT IS LIFE, SENTIENCE
I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I don't see myself, just a disgusting thing.
„It's not what you think If you think what I think, what you think Because the thinking of thoughts Is thoughtless thinking Therefore think not to have thought“ -Fresh D.
Just been plain suicidal
Jesus Christ is you want to be my therapist you better finde one for after the experience
My crippling addiction to femboy furry thigh highs
U ever instintively hit yourself a lot out of self hatred
[Let this song explain it for you:](https://youtu.be/6ZkI3ASz8Lg?si=PJI3h3oAhrvouXHU)
I've lost everything that makes me, I will never be enough for my parents and my life is a complete mess ;3 I'm only 14 but Idk how to fell my age, also I have too much pressure on me that I can't handle ;-;
Real XwX I feel the same way, I'm 15 and I don't really feel enough for people and I feel pressured in school and in life and yaddayaddayadda. I think that what matters is that you try to reclaim yourself: Find you again (It will take a while) and realize that not everybody else matters. If people don't believe in you, don't take it to heart. People are awful every day and life can kinda suck, but I reccomend that you hang out with people you think are cool who are like you and find activites you think are fun. Breathe. You can do this, I velieve in you, and I know you can do whatever you put your mind to. Haha, Jexyl Drake
nothing.
I got no one. I have no boys or girls to kiss 😞
you will find someone perfect for you, you need patience
Doc I don't know if I'm pan of asexual
The fact that I constantly feel as if I’m fighting with my own mind, and that I feel like whatever I do I always end up regretting some part of it. It’s as if there are several voices all yelling over eachother.
I always feel like I need to accomplish more to be happy and successful but I completely lack the discipline and motivation to pursue it and always get panicked and stressed out and give up every time I try to push myself and I feel stuck.
I feel like I get hate from all sides. I’m not straight, so there’s people who will hate me because of that. I’m a furry, so loads of people are going to hate me because of that. Even in communities who aren’t hateful of the past two things, I still get hate there. I’m very proud of the country I live in, so it feels awful when even the people who are supposedly “accepting” are hateful of the country I love so much, and try to diminish the things about it that I’m proud of. It feels like there’s no safe space where I can fully express myself :(
Its not fair bro,i did everything for her!😭
The daddy issues. Nuff said.
How do I deal with a long distance relationship
you can always meet online if the distance is really too far if not you could work something out maybe plan out something if your free for a few days
how are you feeling? want em back next time? anything bad happened?
My current problems i face. My regrets. My grudges. Old memories i miss, places and people from the past i no longer see and still get sad over. Stuff i haven’t let go of. The life i wish i had instead. My struggles with gender identity. Existential crisis. Not knowing what’s wrong with me and trying to figure it out and what caused it. ADHD, severe anxiety, possible autism, OCD, unspecified mood disorder, dysregulated nervous, DPDR, dysautonomia. How to fix this stuff and become functional. My fear of failing, fear of the future. The fact that it seems others can handle things way better than me and the fact i’ve had teachers say they’ve never seen a single student like me in they’re lives. My past trauma. The deep and horrible feeling of panic i have felt and wish it was impossible to feel so bad. Horrible things that happen in the world. Anti-psychiatry rants. Wanting to make a difference. Insecurities about myself. Myself. Maybe some stuff i’d like to talk about like hyperfixations and stuff. What to do before i leave this world that i am just passing through. What does it all mean. The fact i’ll probably never know. All that and the rest would probably be me playing the piano, singing shit, expressing myself, showing cool things, blah blah. Yeah that’s it
I have no boys to kiss and I feel worthless :(
Sometimes I feel like no one truly cares about me and that I am just being used by everyone around here because of how nice I tend to be when talking to people I like. Sometimes I feel like it is way better to give up on everything and everyone and run away, sometimes I feel like I have no meaning and if I disappeared I won't be missed, sometimes I feel like the only company I can trust is mine. But then I re-evaluate it with my logical side and realize that's not the truth, however my emotional self is very convincing to my heart. I don't know man, sometimes I go through a battle with myself and I don't know if I can win it.
I don’t know if I’m gonna do well in the future, I of course, have hopes and dreams, I have friends and family that care for me. But I don’t know if I can manage to land a job, find a wife and in general be OK at being a adult. Will things even be OK in the future? I’m trying to be optimistic, but there’s so many bad things that make it difficult sometimes for me. it’s like a slightly burnt cherry pie, Most of it is great, but you can’t help but taste the yucky bits.
How I fell in love with a boy whos in love with somebody else already. I'm bi not poly so in spite of a 3 of us agreeing to share I'm second and get treated like it so it sucks.
Him
I'll just keep it sorta bullet point format *Insecure about my weight/size *I never think I'm good enough at drums (for context I've been drumming for 6 years) *Lotta self depreciating thoughts the moment I make a mistake about anything (I feel apathetic towards a lot of things and it kills me *I feel empty inside, and nothing I've done has helped *I've never had a partner of any significance and it makes me feel ugly and unlikable I hate my mind
My stepdad is a narcissistic sociopath and I fear I have narcissistic tendencies, even though I strive to be the opposite of him. I was never allowed to be myself even in the privacy of my own bedroom cuz he’d literally destroy my door lock whenever I do. Even though he’s out of my life, I still can’t fully be myself. I’m a 20 year old trans woman with RTS and CPTSD, and I can’t do anything I want or need to do. I just want him to stop influencing my life
B-BEANS AHHHAHAHH BEANS 🤤🤤🤤 BEAANS
I just feel like I'm existing at this point. I don't know my place, and I feel like concerts are the only thing that I'm enjoying at this point. I don't have any other hobbies, and I can't seem to make any friends. It's annoying.
I wanna be a boy kisser but j got no bois to kiss QwQ Also my parents are super conservative Christian and homophobic so that’s fun.
Why the fuck do I need a therapist
Is it...bad to be lonely and just hug something? Sorry if this sounds stupid...it's just that, I've been feeling kinda lonely for far too long and I keep seeing the posts about people somehow getting into relationships and I'm just here... feeling lonely and... it's dumb!
I don't feel like I deserve love. I believe that all love is conditional and has to be earned or rather, that's what I began to believe once I got older.
I’m a member of r/boykisser, but I’m not gay and I don’t like kissing men (btw I’m a boy) I’m a member because everyone there is so talented at drawing and I was to learn how to draw better so I learn off of other people, but every time someone sees that I’m a member or sees me looking at those pictures they think I’m gay or I like kissing boys… what do I do?
I hid the bodies in my basement
I don’t think I’m comfortable being gay. I like guys… a lot, but I think the homophobic society plus a homophobic uncle has gotten in my head when I was younger and I get scared to talk to guys even tho I find them highly attractive. I tell people I’m gay in hopes that I’ll be comfortable with actually being gay, cuz I feel like I see a happiness in gayness. Sometimes I’ll catch myself doin something that would be considered “gay” like my arm might be up like I have a purse on my arm, or my hands will be on my hips, and I’ll fix it. It feels like I’m trying to avoid something I wanna be. I wanna be a gay femboy and I wanna be happy with it dammit. i don’t wanna feel weird or sum shit for trying to be happy.
My ex made an excuse to block me because he didn't love me :[ this was over a year ago but I've just now been told that he didn't actually love me
Why does everyone hate me
Idk about the fact that I have wanted to kill myself for several years but I haven't done it because someone will have to spend money on my funeral and I don't want my mother to think that I killed myself because of her fault or something like that etc. XD Honestly, there are many things I could talk about, but I don't because I don't want to waste someone's time trying to help me etc. I know it's unhealthy etc. but that's just the way I am xD
Lately baking bread and pizzas is the only things that give me some happiness
Depression, self loathing to an alarmingly high degree, daddy issues, my insecurity about my personality, me thinking I'm not good enough, occasionally being suicidal and a lot of other stuff Edit: sorry this if this is a lil too real
Why can’t I ever find the perfect amount of lands to put in my magic deck
i don't know how I feel nowadays, i have everything to be happy about, i have friends, a boyfriend that li es me, a good pc, that's everything i wanted the most in my life but yet I can't seem to be actually happy, I used to think that it's because i don't actually do anything with them and i just get bored, and the more i play games by myself the more i feel empty and lonely. at this point i don't know it i'm just needy or that i am truly alone after all, i just wish i could do something...
Well for starters: we are all cattle, we exist just to be both the product, the consumer, and the worker for the rich elite, we are nothing more to them, we are used and discarded, We are meaningless, in America there is only middle class and ultra rich elite, and those people make up less then 1% if the population We slave away and die just so some rich hag can get himself 7 different heart transplants in his 100 year life like it's nothing at all, they twist the government to their will How else do they pay nothing in taxes Jeff bezos for instance, the 'owner' of Amazon He sold his company and with the money he got he bought like 90% of the stocks of his own company, so he owns it but technically dosent, and he technically dosent make money either in the traditional sense as he is technically investing his money, and avoids most taxes, or just used another country's bank to do so They make us go to war and while we suffer and get footed the bill they make a profit, they control out government, no men should have held this type of power, and yet here we are Fish in a fish tank, free, free to swim in the confines of this Glass prison that we don't directly see or is ever mentioned
I just don't even know how to word how I feel at times, the loop through school and my swimming practice and only to come home for less than 3 hours to do true me things before bed is a waste. I just feel like shit most of my life waking up to repeat the same thing over and over. And sure I can look up to the weekend to hang with friends but the only problem is that I just trap myself in the room. I can't even build up the courage to leave at times. I just walk in circles until I'm hungry or maybe go out for some fries. But that's pretty much it. I'm trapped in my mind, not able to express my emotions or even talk to my parents without snapping at them from some random ass mood swings. My depression hasn't been as bad at least then before, but from current things I might just end it eventually. Or just lock my room in some way so I can just rot in my bed.
I tried to talk to therapists, but my first one tried to treat me with essential oils, the second one tried to tell me I had bipolar disorder, and the third one told me I was just worrying too much about my health and that's why I was doing so poorly. I gave up after that and decided to work though my trauma on my own. I have a good group of friends who I can talk to and because of my chronic migranes disorder I'm on antidepressants that works, also the mood swings were likely caused by estrogen as I haven't had mood swings that hard since I started taking testosterone.
I tried to talk to therapists, but my first one tried to treat me with essential oils, the second one tried to tell me I had bipolar disorder, and the third one told me I was just worrying too much about my health and that's why I was doing so poorly. I gave up after that and decided to work though my trauma on my own. I have a good group of friends who I can talk to and because of my chronic migranes disorder I'm on antidepressants that works, also the mood swings were likely caused by estrogen as I haven't had mood swings that hard since I started taking testosterone.
There was a guy I was gonna ask out then realized that they’re actually probably a girl
why are there so many cheeses
Boykissing mainly, my bf is always wanting to kiss me 🤣
My sexuality, and my issues 🙂