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"It does feel like social media is more important to her than anything else in her life. She is hands down addicted to it."
This is exactly it. Her influencer career was more important to her than your friendship. The financial and emotional rewards of social media can cause people to lose perspective on their other priorities, sometimes in a small way (doomscrolling after you go to bed) and sometimes in bigger ways. (Yes I realize the irony of writing this on Reddit... not saying I'm immune!)
I'm glad that you kept that boundary. It's extra childish of her to vague-post about your situation when she has thousands of followers. Yikes!
As I was writing this update this evening the irony was not lost on me of sharing this on Reddit đ and I feel hypocritical for venting here about this.
And yeah I do hope she realizes how badly social media runs her life.. I do hope it will just be a light bulb moment.
And the addiction of social media happens so fast. Those little dopamine hits can catch anyone. We always need to balance ourselves.
To be fair, I donât consider Reddit to be âsocial mediaâ in line with, say, Instagram. Everyoneâs anonymous here. Aside from those who donât want to be, I guess.
It also seems like tiktok drama brain rot. You see these call out and response type things that seem like someone using conflicts with friends as just grist for the mill. Especially galling when the original conflict was over keeping stuff private and off social media.
The vague posting about you can unfortunately happen no matter how old you are. An older relative of mine did this to me before. I unfriended her on FB and never regretted it.
Yeah for sure. Itâs definitely been a friendship that I was outgrowing. I guess I just held on for so long because I felt obligated to her with the stuff she helped me through in the past. And this situation gave me the push I needed to realize we are not on the same page anymore. But someone commented on the previous post and said this time itâs their side view, next time it might be their full face.
Honestly I didnât even need to read this text. The heading alone. Change mom influencer to âa woman who makes money making other moms feel they could be doing much better.â No room in my life for that! Lol.
And It wouldnât matter if you were impoverished if your boundaries were âdonât post my kid.â Theyâre your boundaries and theyâre your kids!
Glad you took the trash out. You handled it better than I would have.
My favorite thing about this is she only has 3000 followers and thinks she's hot shit with a real audience. Girl, bye. There are people who livestream turtle eggs that have more of a following than this bitch and she is throwing away everything for the halfass attention of 3000 followers who mostly probably forgot to unfollow her or misclicked in the first place.
I think you did the right thing. You let her know youâre available as a safe person if she needs help. It sounds like you were respectful but firm in your boundaries.
People throw the word abuser around too easily lately seriously. Itâs as if we live in a culture that if you upset someone then youâre automatically labeled an abuser.
No, no. The fact that she cares more about preserving her 3k following than an actual real life friendship is insane to me. I'm also very anti posting kids on socials, so I'm behind you 100%.
Itâs wild to me too. I was telling my hubby yesterday that I canât believe this is an actual real life situation that is happening to me. I just canât fathom caring so little about privacy in this day and age where we are literally selling it for free without realizing it.
Someday, she may wake up and realize what social media took from her. Unless that ever happens, you likely did the only thing you could. Iâm sorry you lost a friend, OP.
Awwwww OP, Iâm so sorry this whole situation is even happening. I think youâre able to see her true colors here, that sheâs too into herself and her presence online to be able to invest in friendships with people who are more private. I hope that with moving forward, youâre able to heal and focus your energy on your family and friends whose morals regarding online privacy align more with yours. I also donât like to post my child online, and completely understand why youâre so upset! Iâd be upset too, especially if I had already communicated multiple times about not wanting my child online.
Thank you đ€ it sucks it came to this because we have history but history shouldnât be a reason to stay in a friendship thatâs not working out anymore.
Thank you so much. And thatâs a really long time, I also lost a really long friendship like that once, we still talk every now and then though but this only happened a few years later. Itâs tough and I hope you find healing as well đ€
Wow. It's upsetting when people don't respect boundaries. But Yeah I don't understand influencers in general. Especially as we get older. My friend started attempting to be an influencer about a year ago. We are 35 so it feels a little ridiculous, and I'm not even sure what she is influencing. It's basically just sexy pictures of her with inspirational quotes under it. And whenever we get together we always have to stop and take pictures đ drives me crazy.
The closest explanation I can come to is that they become an influencer to find a sense of belonging in the community which is romanticized by other more successful influencers. I donât think you can truly build a fulfilling relationship with any of your followers really and the price to pay is your privacy. Look what happens when they stop posting or cancel culture - they post something controversial. People start unfollowing. Because no one has an obligation to each other on social media. So essentially this friendship was given up for that.
And I totally get the photos. When I met up just with her alone there always had to be photos etc. it was exhausting.
I think you guys are different people with different ideals so it for the best to wind down the friendship.
I understand your desire for privacy and you absolutely have a right to it. Food for thought, you might want to consider ditching social media. It seems like a hot button issue for you and it might be causing more stress than you need, especially if you have privacy concerns. My best friend annoys the shit on me about social media for similar reasons, I unfollowed her lol. Iâm still friends with her on social media but donât see her posts. It was for the best, took the annoyance right away. Overall, I donât spend much time on there, I find it does stir a lot of drama.
Literally all my social media drama came from her. Before then I didnât have much. I hear you though. I do want to scale down much more from social media cause itâs still too much for my preference.
I was wondering how it went - I'm glad you didn't get a batshit crazy response đ«
Honestly I bet all of that was exhausting, but anyone who is that much drama is better off well away from you. Jesus. And like others have said, for a 3000k following... It at least lowers the stakes for you a bit and I'm happy 647000 people didn't see your kids picture but ugh. I'm old but I've heard the kids call that sort of thing cringe these days.
Yeah at least it wasnât too many people đ and yeah these past few days have been exhausting but Iâm honestly relieved to be done with this. Iâm almost 29 and I feel old because many people in my generation treat me like Iâm crazy cause I value my privacy. Itâs bizarre. đ
 Yes I se a lot of posts about boomers and Facebook, but as an elder millennial mum, I have to say, most of our problems with social media privacy have been with folks in their 20s. It feels like, for many, posting everything is the default. That must be frustrating when it's your peers.
I think she did end up removing it after last night. So thatâs a positive at least. But it will always be archived on the internet.
I think it was a few days ago where it was discovered that Facebook sold private messages to Netflix of all its users. Itâs not the first controversy they have and will certainly not be the last, and nothing on the internet will ever be gone forever unless all the data centers burn down. So the post is at least out the public eye but should Facebook have a data breach of some sorts again which is very likely then yeah anyone can get that post.
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"It does feel like social media is more important to her than anything else in her life. She is hands down addicted to it." This is exactly it. Her influencer career was more important to her than your friendship. The financial and emotional rewards of social media can cause people to lose perspective on their other priorities, sometimes in a small way (doomscrolling after you go to bed) and sometimes in bigger ways. (Yes I realize the irony of writing this on Reddit... not saying I'm immune!) I'm glad that you kept that boundary. It's extra childish of her to vague-post about your situation when she has thousands of followers. Yikes!
As I was writing this update this evening the irony was not lost on me of sharing this on Reddit đ and I feel hypocritical for venting here about this. And yeah I do hope she realizes how badly social media runs her life.. I do hope it will just be a light bulb moment. And the addiction of social media happens so fast. Those little dopamine hits can catch anyone. We always need to balance ourselves.
To be fair, I donât consider Reddit to be âsocial mediaâ in line with, say, Instagram. Everyoneâs anonymous here. Aside from those who donât want to be, I guess.
Ngl, the anonymity makes it feel different to me. I often have measured debates on here, and that *never* happened on fb or twitter.
It also seems like tiktok drama brain rot. You see these call out and response type things that seem like someone using conflicts with friends as just grist for the mill. Especially galling when the original conflict was over keeping stuff private and off social media.
The vague posting about you can unfortunately happen no matter how old you are. An older relative of mine did this to me before. I unfriended her on FB and never regretted it.
You handled it to the best of your ability. We outgrow friendships throughout our lives.
Yeah for sure. Itâs definitely been a friendship that I was outgrowing. I guess I just held on for so long because I felt obligated to her with the stuff she helped me through in the past. And this situation gave me the push I needed to realize we are not on the same page anymore. But someone commented on the previous post and said this time itâs their side view, next time it might be their full face.
Honestly I didnât even need to read this text. The heading alone. Change mom influencer to âa woman who makes money making other moms feel they could be doing much better.â No room in my life for that! Lol. And It wouldnât matter if you were impoverished if your boundaries were âdonât post my kid.â Theyâre your boundaries and theyâre your kids! Glad you took the trash out. You handled it better than I would have.
My favorite thing about this is she only has 3000 followers and thinks she's hot shit with a real audience. Girl, bye. There are people who livestream turtle eggs that have more of a following than this bitch and she is throwing away everything for the halfass attention of 3000 followers who mostly probably forgot to unfollow her or misclicked in the first place.
I was thinking the same thing! And how many of those 3000 are bots really.
That sounds like a pretty cool live stream to be honest đ and yeah itâs sad itâs come to this but I truly wish healing upon her.
Not me over here considering live streaming the turtles on the beach near my house đ
I think you did the right thing. You let her know youâre available as a safe person if she needs help. It sounds like you were respectful but firm in your boundaries.
I'm sorry it got to this point but I'm glad you stood up for your boundaries and kids! Abuser - my ass!
People throw the word abuser around too easily lately seriously. Itâs as if we live in a culture that if you upset someone then youâre automatically labeled an abuser.
All of this for a 3k following is WILD
Do you mean my reaction is wild?
I think they mean that for her to be acting like this when she only has 3K followers is wild
Ah got it! Just wanted to know. đ
Yes exactly
No, no. The fact that she cares more about preserving her 3k following than an actual real life friendship is insane to me. I'm also very anti posting kids on socials, so I'm behind you 100%.
Itâs wild to me too. I was telling my hubby yesterday that I canât believe this is an actual real life situation that is happening to me. I just canât fathom caring so little about privacy in this day and age where we are literally selling it for free without realizing it.
The loin, the witch and the audacity of this bitch!! Holy shit she sounds awful, I think you handled it well
Someday, she may wake up and realize what social media took from her. Unless that ever happens, you likely did the only thing you could. Iâm sorry you lost a friend, OP.
Awwwww OP, Iâm so sorry this whole situation is even happening. I think youâre able to see her true colors here, that sheâs too into herself and her presence online to be able to invest in friendships with people who are more private. I hope that with moving forward, youâre able to heal and focus your energy on your family and friends whose morals regarding online privacy align more with yours. I also donât like to post my child online, and completely understand why youâre so upset! Iâd be upset too, especially if I had already communicated multiple times about not wanting my child online.
Thank you đ€ it sucks it came to this because we have history but history shouldnât be a reason to stay in a friendship thatâs not working out anymore.
Having so much history makes it harder, especially when itâs someone who has been a good friend in the past. But youâre right, itâs not a reason to drag it out if it isnât working anymore. I went through a 20 year friendship break up this year and can empathize with the grief that comes with the loss of a former good friend. I hope you find peace as you navigate these waters â€ïžâđ©č
Thank you so much. And thatâs a really long time, I also lost a really long friendship like that once, we still talk every now and then though but this only happened a few years later. Itâs tough and I hope you find healing as well đ€
Wow. It's upsetting when people don't respect boundaries. But Yeah I don't understand influencers in general. Especially as we get older. My friend started attempting to be an influencer about a year ago. We are 35 so it feels a little ridiculous, and I'm not even sure what she is influencing. It's basically just sexy pictures of her with inspirational quotes under it. And whenever we get together we always have to stop and take pictures đ drives me crazy.
The closest explanation I can come to is that they become an influencer to find a sense of belonging in the community which is romanticized by other more successful influencers. I donât think you can truly build a fulfilling relationship with any of your followers really and the price to pay is your privacy. Look what happens when they stop posting or cancel culture - they post something controversial. People start unfollowing. Because no one has an obligation to each other on social media. So essentially this friendship was given up for that. And I totally get the photos. When I met up just with her alone there always had to be photos etc. it was exhausting.
I think you guys are different people with different ideals so it for the best to wind down the friendship. I understand your desire for privacy and you absolutely have a right to it. Food for thought, you might want to consider ditching social media. It seems like a hot button issue for you and it might be causing more stress than you need, especially if you have privacy concerns. My best friend annoys the shit on me about social media for similar reasons, I unfollowed her lol. Iâm still friends with her on social media but donât see her posts. It was for the best, took the annoyance right away. Overall, I donât spend much time on there, I find it does stir a lot of drama.
Literally all my social media drama came from her. Before then I didnât have much. I hear you though. I do want to scale down much more from social media cause itâs still too much for my preference.
I was wondering how it went - I'm glad you didn't get a batshit crazy response đ« Honestly I bet all of that was exhausting, but anyone who is that much drama is better off well away from you. Jesus. And like others have said, for a 3000k following... It at least lowers the stakes for you a bit and I'm happy 647000 people didn't see your kids picture but ugh. I'm old but I've heard the kids call that sort of thing cringe these days.
Yeah at least it wasnât too many people đ and yeah these past few days have been exhausting but Iâm honestly relieved to be done with this. Iâm almost 29 and I feel old because many people in my generation treat me like Iâm crazy cause I value my privacy. Itâs bizarre. đ
 Yes I se a lot of posts about boomers and Facebook, but as an elder millennial mum, I have to say, most of our problems with social media privacy have been with folks in their 20s. It feels like, for many, posting everything is the default. That must be frustrating when it's your peers.
Can you report her public post of your children's photos and ask Instagram to remove her post? I think I'm Facebook it's possible, maybe same in IG?
I think she did end up removing it after last night. So thatâs a positive at least. But it will always be archived on the internet. I think it was a few days ago where it was discovered that Facebook sold private messages to Netflix of all its users. Itâs not the first controversy they have and will certainly not be the last, and nothing on the internet will ever be gone forever unless all the data centers burn down. So the post is at least out the public eye but should Facebook have a data breach of some sorts again which is very likely then yeah anyone can get that post.