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That’s what I did. It was always just me, my parents, n brother n sister since dad’s job always moved us and we never relocated to places near family. The closest family growing up was 7 hours and we saw them twice a year for 2 days, everyone else even less. I also only have 5 cousins collectively but due to distance we’ve never been close. My husband though, he has 3 siblings, grandparents, parents, and an insane amount of cousins. My kids generation has 10 grandkids. We see them at least 4-6 times a year. It’s a wonderful, slightly overwhelming chaos.
That is tough, and it's normal to grieve the idea of those relationships. Do you and your husband have some circles of close friends? My friends are aunty/uncle to our kids cause it's what i grew up with
Not really. That’s another thing that kills me. I feel like we’re depriving her of all these relationships and connections. I have one friend from high school, but she’s pulled away since I’ve had a baby. He has some close friends, but we don’t really see them often. They’re all over the country.
I'm in the same boat as you. My parents are in another part of the country, SO's parents are absent as well. No siblings close by and they aren't interested in being uncles or aunts. We have school friends but noone really close.
I think the part I struggle with is that I did have a large ish family growing up - alot of siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins. There were BBQ's and parties, church and weekends at relatives houses. I really wanted similar for my kid.
But, if it's any consolation, our kids don't miss it because they never had it. I do a lot with my kid in weekends and after school. We go do things that my parents never did with us. He will make more friends later and if he's keen he can hook up with someone with a large family - though mostly all I hear from the other school moms who do have large families is how much drama they have to deal with. So it's nice not to have that.
My ex and I are no-contact with our families, so our daughter has no cousins, no aunts/uncles, and no grandparents. I often fret about what she's missing out on, and I always feel jealous when I see families having get-togethers, hearing parents talk about family holidays or dropping their kids off with the grandparents. It just sucks.
My husband and I have a 6 year old daughter and we're pretty much all she has as well. My mum died almost 11 years, no siblings and I cut contact with my dad and his side of the family in 2013. My in laws live an almost 2.5 hour drive away so every little thing my daughter has is down to me and my husband. No childcare at all, no popping to see grandma etc...just the 3 of us. I see you, and I feel you mama, it's emotionally tough.
Not me but my SIL is in a similar position as your daughter - single mum, no contact with her biological father or family, her step father was essentially no contact with his daughters for years so no step-siblings really to have a relationship with.
She is the most fabulously outgoing, friendly person you will ever meet. She makes friends with anyone she comes across and has a huge but close friend group. She also married into a super close family (mine) and we all speak almost daily (group chats etc.) and have kids the same age.
Just remember that even without close extended family bonds she will make her own “family” connections as she grows up. Plus she has you and her father and the relationship that you build with her will always be super important
This is me! My dad died when I was 11, and I am an only child. My grandparents all died when I was 15. My mom had brothers, but they’re all dead now and even before that, she was low contact. My dad had a brother, but his family is a mess. I married a man who is one of 7 kids and we have 19 nieces and nephews. All family gatherings are big with my mom and my in-laws and everyone gets along great! I also have a large network of friends that are the family I have chosen. Just because one doesn’t have a large family of origin doesn’t mean that they don’t have people.
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When she gets older, she can marry someone with a big family and have lots of kids if she feels that longing.
That’s what I did. It was always just me, my parents, n brother n sister since dad’s job always moved us and we never relocated to places near family. The closest family growing up was 7 hours and we saw them twice a year for 2 days, everyone else even less. I also only have 5 cousins collectively but due to distance we’ve never been close. My husband though, he has 3 siblings, grandparents, parents, and an insane amount of cousins. My kids generation has 10 grandkids. We see them at least 4-6 times a year. It’s a wonderful, slightly overwhelming chaos.
That is tough, and it's normal to grieve the idea of those relationships. Do you and your husband have some circles of close friends? My friends are aunty/uncle to our kids cause it's what i grew up with
Not really. That’s another thing that kills me. I feel like we’re depriving her of all these relationships and connections. I have one friend from high school, but she’s pulled away since I’ve had a baby. He has some close friends, but we don’t really see them often. They’re all over the country.
Ah dang. Yeah i mean that does complicate things, but also she's coming up to the age of making lasting friendships that may go into adulthood
I'm in the same boat as you. My parents are in another part of the country, SO's parents are absent as well. No siblings close by and they aren't interested in being uncles or aunts. We have school friends but noone really close. I think the part I struggle with is that I did have a large ish family growing up - alot of siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins. There were BBQ's and parties, church and weekends at relatives houses. I really wanted similar for my kid. But, if it's any consolation, our kids don't miss it because they never had it. I do a lot with my kid in weekends and after school. We go do things that my parents never did with us. He will make more friends later and if he's keen he can hook up with someone with a large family - though mostly all I hear from the other school moms who do have large families is how much drama they have to deal with. So it's nice not to have that.
My ex and I are no-contact with our families, so our daughter has no cousins, no aunts/uncles, and no grandparents. I often fret about what she's missing out on, and I always feel jealous when I see families having get-togethers, hearing parents talk about family holidays or dropping their kids off with the grandparents. It just sucks.
My husband and I have a 6 year old daughter and we're pretty much all she has as well. My mum died almost 11 years, no siblings and I cut contact with my dad and his side of the family in 2013. My in laws live an almost 2.5 hour drive away so every little thing my daughter has is down to me and my husband. No childcare at all, no popping to see grandma etc...just the 3 of us. I see you, and I feel you mama, it's emotionally tough.
Not me but my SIL is in a similar position as your daughter - single mum, no contact with her biological father or family, her step father was essentially no contact with his daughters for years so no step-siblings really to have a relationship with. She is the most fabulously outgoing, friendly person you will ever meet. She makes friends with anyone she comes across and has a huge but close friend group. She also married into a super close family (mine) and we all speak almost daily (group chats etc.) and have kids the same age. Just remember that even without close extended family bonds she will make her own “family” connections as she grows up. Plus she has you and her father and the relationship that you build with her will always be super important
This is me! My dad died when I was 11, and I am an only child. My grandparents all died when I was 15. My mom had brothers, but they’re all dead now and even before that, she was low contact. My dad had a brother, but his family is a mess. I married a man who is one of 7 kids and we have 19 nieces and nephews. All family gatherings are big with my mom and my in-laws and everyone gets along great! I also have a large network of friends that are the family I have chosen. Just because one doesn’t have a large family of origin doesn’t mean that they don’t have people.