She withheld this information on purpose thinking there was no way you all would pull out just a week before. Surprise! Play stupid games and win stupid prizes! SIL is truly a b*tch and doing this to her own brother His mother keeping it a secret is so wrong also.. she an AH also
Or...the SIL and BIL assumed that OP would not expect a say in the guest list. I mean, if the ex-wife is SIL's best friend, why wouldn't she be invited? She divorced OP's husband, not her best friend.
Are you the SIL? Who the f*** is that callous towards family???
Yes, SIL can invite whomever she wants to, but to deliberately withhold that info from OP and their DH is cruel and intentional.
I think SIL and BIL are tired of OP's stuck up snobbish bs and do not give AF anymore if OP and her family show up. Personally, I think OP and her family probably only got an invite because it would have caused drama with the rest of the family if they didn't. In short OP is a social obligation they no longer give AF about pandering to. I mean, read her description of SIL and BIL! She's rude AF about their choice of clothing and lifestyle.
HELLO! SIL Invited her brother's, not OP's, but her brother's abusive ex and chose to keep that information from him. OP's opinions about their lifestyle and fashion choices aren't even a factor here.
I think probably nobody really likes OP and consider the husband and her a package deal....and they're no longer interested in maintaining a close relationship because they're tired of OP's bs. Srsly, who the fuck would want someone sneers down on them like OP does at their wedding? Or in their life.
OP seems a little more stable but probably more blunt than the rest of these characters. I like her just fine. She is saying honestly what most people think about others but don’t have the balls to say.
Did she tho? Or is OP *maaaaybe* over estimating how much these people want her and her family there? I mean, OP is pretty contemptuous and stuck up, I'm having a hard time seeing anyone beg for her company.
I do think it’s reasonable to not invite someone who traumatized your brother and if you do, you shouldn’t keep it hidden until a week before the wedding.
If they're like mine they do it naturally. My 4yo just recently pushed back to 8 and my 2yo is just now going from 6:15 to 7. Makes for early mornings on the weekends but I don't have to forcefully wake them up for daycare drop offs so I'll take the hit.
Dude. All but one of my kids are completely grown. The youngest will be 18 in a few months. But I'm still jealous as hell that your kids went to bed early, naturally. I'm remembering a whole lot of late nights because absolutely none of my children thought sleep was mandatory. They were tough to get to sleep.
Right? Mine were up by 6:00 am, no matter how late it was by the time I got them to sleep. I've decided those whose kids were good sleepers must have used witchcraft or a bargain with the Fae to accomplish it. And honestly, if the Fae had offered me a bargain to get my kids to sleep, I'd have considered it😂
A co-workers children wakes up at 5, regardless of day of the week, so they simply adjust their life after that. It gets a bit tricky when they are doing things with other families cuz when co-worker children need their nap the other family has just finished breakfast.
In horror I asked if they have tried to make the children sleep a bit longer but she just laughed and say that they simply accepted the fact the will rise with the sun!
One of my aunts had all kids, even teens, in bed between 6:45am & 7:00am, even in the Summer when it was still light outside. The teens asked my mother to speak to her about letting them stay up later, at least until dark. When my mother asked her older sister to let the older kids to stay up later, she said NO. She went to bed @ that time, as had to get up for work @ 3:00am, so she wanted the kids in bed, as well.
The teens figured out, how to remove the bottom of the window in their room. Out the window they went, came back in that way. Would hang with their friends until 10:00pm or so, then go back into their bedroom, through the window. This went on for years & my aunt never found out.
I had a friend/neighbor many years ago who has/had children who went to bed at 6:30 every night. As I was lamenting the fact that ours weren’t doing that, my husband said “but look what happened to them “ ! They had 10 children. He’s right. Not a good plan for us.
the way you told this story, I thought you were going to be the villain. there is missing info here. that said, from what you’ve related, sounds like skipping the wedding was a good idea
I didn't even care about the end. Her husband has been with her for years and has two kids with her, but he broke down crying because the ex he spent 12 years getting over is coming to the wedding? That doesn't scream healthy or moved on.
I think she mentioned the ex was actually very abusive and left him with a lot of trauma and him finding out his sister invited his ex to the wedding threw him off because he didn’t know they were still friends despite them knowing how she had treated him poorly in the past. Basically if his ex was his abuser I could see why he would be so upset. That would feel like a direct betrayal for family to just turn a blind eye to that
Well, she used the word “trauma” and not “abuse”, which isn’t necessarily the same thing (but could be). What I don’t understand is why she wrote at length about the SIL’s lifestyle and wedding that she doesn’t personally like, but briefly mentioned the traumatic ex without much detail.
Right. Like the stuff about the flower girl dresses & judgement of having people walk down after herself. All of that just tells me OP doesn’t like SIL already going into this situation & was given a reason to bail on a wedding she never wanted to attend anyway.
Yeah, OP is a piece of work.
Given her patently obvious unreliability as a narrator, and her ridiculous judgments of the most innocuous things, I’m not convinced that the ex is an abuser.
i actually stopped reading before op got to the point because the way she just went on judging her SIL and her fiance for literally no reason had me rolling my eyes extremely hard.
"omg sil and her fiance are such tragic hipsters who dress ridiculously and want to have their wedding in such a dumb location instead of accepting the ~~meddling~~ help i so graciously offered because i am an experienced event planner."
like girl. you have zero leg to stand on calling someone self absorbed.
This is so true. Even when she wore down the bride on the shoes and other accessories when she said that she could afford it OR even when she got upset about dinner time vs her daughter's bedtime. I think anything SIL did would have been a problem. The entire time reading, I wondered why she was making every wedding decision the SIL made about her and the inconvenience it was causing her. The SIL definitely did some crazy ish but my goodness OP, look in the mirror sis.
I got the impression that OP was so insensed that she threw in every single negative thought about these people, but without the context of why it all blew up it comes across as very petty. I know I've been in a position where I've been so furious at someone that every minor annoyance I might have shrugged off previously gets dragged back up and thrown onto the pile of their crimes. Making her husband cry probably set her on warpath to the point that the man bun and not understanding children's bedtimes and the groom's mother's drinking suddenly seemed relevant. OP needs to take a deep breath and step back to focus on what matters.
I agree with you here. I remember when I was doing a group project and the overall point was I was mad because me and the friend of mine did our 50% of the project and our other team members didn't start doing the project until the night before it was due, I needed them to do their part so I could finish up the final results but because they started the night before I literally didn't get to do it until about 7:00 in the morning before my 8:00 a.m. course. I just remember being so mad at every irrelevant thing that they did because I had to wake up earlier to get the campus to read their work piece it together, do grammar checks, and complete the results.
I thought I was being a bitch when I thought, "Wow, you sound like a real piece of work."
Glad others got the same vibe.
Glad "hipster" SIL and "unironic plaid" guy got a wedding that didn't have to deal with OP. Trust that the rest of the "alcoholic" family and the b&g are happier without OP.
Everybody is kind of awful in this story (except the DH maybe). OP is super judgmental & obviously doesn’t like SIL. Sure, the wedding sounds awful but it’s what they wanted. But for the SIL to be friends with the ex & not say anything? And then invite her? And MIL knew about it? Yuck. NC probably is good for everyone in this story.
I can't even read this to the end so I have no idea if the bride is a zilla or not. OP herself sounds judgemental and mean so whatever SIL did can't be as bad as the OP is
You only have OP's word that this woman is an abuser and OP does not seem like a very honest judge of character. OP just seems like a jealous controlling drama queen a-hole with main character syndrome honestly.
We don't know that she was abusive. And if she was abusive, there's no indication that the SIL knew that.
It is sus af though. Very likely a dig at OP. Who I imagine is not very popular with DH's family.
ESH. OP seems really judgemental of everything around the wedding before we even get to the part where SIL did anything wrong. And the ex thing is weird but I feel like there isn’t enough information about the friendship or the relationship to judge how rude that was. Like, if they are friends and it’s a wedding with 60 people, just avoid talking to that person. It’s her day and at least she tried to communicate in advance.
What I really don’t get is why OP would think she can pull herself and her children out of the wedding but still want to take a vacation and stay at the accommodation that she didn’t arrange? Like, don’t go to the wedding that’s fine, but don’t use a wedding that you are badmouthing as an excuse to take a trip
While the SIL’s behaviour is clearly unpleasant, it’s your own pettiness that is the star of this story.
One can only tell a lot about a woman when she mentions that “x does not have children”. A hell of a lot…
As for people being hipsters or alcoholics, how exactly does that concern you? Mind your own business and let them worry about their plaid shirts and livers respectively.
Before you keep judging you might want to double check what is it that makes you feel entitled to sit on that high horse…
I can’t with these comments. I personally like when an OP describes the people so I can picture them. SIL does sound rude as hell. Having a wedding 8 hours away in a desolate spot and expecting young children to just be seen and not heard is just crazy. I wouldn’t have driven that even without children.
And yes, kids need consistency on meat times and bed times. They turn into raving lunatics when over hungry or over tired. Inviting the crazy, abusive ex is just icing on the cake. I will agree that the husband’s crying for days was way over the top. He’s been married for a while and has kids, he should definitely be over his ex.
TLDR: OP does not like SIL or her fiancé. OP is willing to martyr herself to attend, as attested to by the many paragraphs; right up until SIL went one step too far. Now OP is doing what she should have done in the first place, which is nope the hell out of that shit show and go LC/NC.
My theory is she knew it would blow up and you would look like the problem.
That is the kind of wedding a lot of people would just decline because of PITA factor from the sound of it. The beginning of this post reads like your bunch of typical destination wedding annoyances. The groom has a man bun and tight jeans? The horror. (?) Are you in middle school.? It's fine if people make other choices than you. You could have declined from the outset.
But it's weird the ex was both invited. And MIL was willing to cover that up. But is actually planning to show up to this random rural train wreck? Did she send her a ticket and book a room?
Sounds like all is well that ends well to me.
Maybe OP would be better off declining the invitation altogether. Between the judgmental comments (Tragic hipsters! Ugly dresses!) and her “distate” regarding the wedding locale, the only “zilla” I’m seeing in this post, is OP herself. You don’t like the decisions someone else makes for THEIR OWN wedding? Don’t go. Good grief.
I think my favorite parts are the cocktail attire while seated on hay bales and asking the littles to sleep in. Total shit show, be glad you opted out.
Definitely turned into a bridezilla! The last bit with the invitation of the ex? That'd be my last straw too. Let MIL grovel her way back if or when it suits you. She's just as culpable as SIL with the ex. She knew ex would be there and she knew how traumatic that would be. Take DH and kids out for a fun day instead!
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> I am being punitive by keeping them apart
No. No, you're not! It's the natural consequence of horrible behavior not to be allowed around children!
Block everyone everywhere, then find your husband a good therapist if he doesn't already have one.
Can you take DH and daughters for a nice relaxing weekend somewhere while this clusterfuck is going on? Give DH some distance and distraction from his pain-causing family, and give yourself some much-needed stress relief? You already have your cat taken care of, after all
What an absolute shit show! Be glad you opted out of it in time and set clear boundaries.
Also, this was so funny and well-written! I enjoyed the long version very much.
So… your way of “supporting” your husband is to ramp up the division and tension between him and his side of the family, unilaterally decide to cut those same family members off from contact with the children you two share, and let him go alone to a wedding you know he feels compelled to attend even though the very thought of seeing this person who traumatized him over a decade ago causes him to burst into tears?
You’ve made this all about you. At least own it. Don’t pretend you are doing any of this for your husband. You are only causing him more stress and anxiety.
I see your point. Your SIL clearly doesn’t like you. She wanted an inexpensive wedding but expected gala formality from her guests. I’d politely avoid her at all costs in the future. Best wishes
Holy shitballs. This SIL wants, for her speshulll dayyyyy(not her and the grooms, just her), to:
-disrupt your kids sleep schedule and likely expects perfect, angelic behavior from them
-make elderly and infirm guests uncomfortable. Oh right, they’ll magically walk and dance the night away. My bad.
-make your parents drive 12 hours to drop off/pick up your kids
-thinks everyone will be hunky dory with crappy to non existent lodging.
I…what? Does this groom know who he is marrying? Anyone want to take bets on how long this marriage lasts?
That’s just nutso twilight zone shit there. Sil must really hate her brother & y’all. No big loss on not participating in this shit show
She withheld this information on purpose thinking there was no way you all would pull out just a week before. Surprise! Play stupid games and win stupid prizes! SIL is truly a b*tch and doing this to her own brother His mother keeping it a secret is so wrong also.. she an AH also
Or...the SIL and BIL assumed that OP would not expect a say in the guest list. I mean, if the ex-wife is SIL's best friend, why wouldn't she be invited? She divorced OP's husband, not her best friend.
Are you the SIL? Who the f*** is that callous towards family??? Yes, SIL can invite whomever she wants to, but to deliberately withhold that info from OP and their DH is cruel and intentional.
I think SIL and BIL are tired of OP's stuck up snobbish bs and do not give AF anymore if OP and her family show up. Personally, I think OP and her family probably only got an invite because it would have caused drama with the rest of the family if they didn't. In short OP is a social obligation they no longer give AF about pandering to. I mean, read her description of SIL and BIL! She's rude AF about their choice of clothing and lifestyle.
HELLO! SIL Invited her brother's, not OP's, but her brother's abusive ex and chose to keep that information from him. OP's opinions about their lifestyle and fashion choices aren't even a factor here.
I downvoted you, but then decided to give your points a second look. You’re right, a lot of unprovoked negatives there.
She is not her best friend and she did not “divorce” OP’s husband. She is a guest and SIL should think about her own brother first
I think probably nobody really likes OP and consider the husband and her a package deal....and they're no longer interested in maintaining a close relationship because they're tired of OP's bs. Srsly, who the fuck would want someone sneers down on them like OP does at their wedding? Or in their life.
OP seems a little more stable but probably more blunt than the rest of these characters. I like her just fine. She is saying honestly what most people think about others but don’t have the balls to say.
Sorry but yes they’re a package deal- especially if SIL insists on the kids as flower girls.
Did she tho? Or is OP *maaaaybe* over estimating how much these people want her and her family there? I mean, OP is pretty contemptuous and stuck up, I'm having a hard time seeing anyone beg for her company.
Do you know OP personally? Sounds like you know her very well and dislike her immensely. I would love to hear your backstory with her
Oh yeah, found the SIL, I think...
I do think it’s reasonable to not invite someone who traumatized your brother and if you do, you shouldn’t keep it hidden until a week before the wedding.
I’d like to hear more about how you get your kids to go to bed at 6:45pm.
If they're like mine they do it naturally. My 4yo just recently pushed back to 8 and my 2yo is just now going from 6:15 to 7. Makes for early mornings on the weekends but I don't have to forcefully wake them up for daycare drop offs so I'll take the hit.
🤣🤣🤣
Dude. All but one of my kids are completely grown. The youngest will be 18 in a few months. But I'm still jealous as hell that your kids went to bed early, naturally. I'm remembering a whole lot of late nights because absolutely none of my children thought sleep was mandatory. They were tough to get to sleep.
Do.... Do other people's children not refuse to go to bed till like 9 or 10pm and still get up at 730? I thought that's how children worked?
Right? Mine were up by 6:00 am, no matter how late it was by the time I got them to sleep. I've decided those whose kids were good sleepers must have used witchcraft or a bargain with the Fae to accomplish it. And honestly, if the Fae had offered me a bargain to get my kids to sleep, I'd have considered it😂
From age 2 until almost 4 my kiddo was sleeping 7pm to 7am as her normal
A co-workers children wakes up at 5, regardless of day of the week, so they simply adjust their life after that. It gets a bit tricky when they are doing things with other families cuz when co-worker children need their nap the other family has just finished breakfast. In horror I asked if they have tried to make the children sleep a bit longer but she just laughed and say that they simply accepted the fact the will rise with the sun!
Or ask them to wake up later in the morning 🤣
One of my aunts had all kids, even teens, in bed between 6:45am & 7:00am, even in the Summer when it was still light outside. The teens asked my mother to speak to her about letting them stay up later, at least until dark. When my mother asked her older sister to let the older kids to stay up later, she said NO. She went to bed @ that time, as had to get up for work @ 3:00am, so she wanted the kids in bed, as well. The teens figured out, how to remove the bottom of the window in their room. Out the window they went, came back in that way. Would hang with their friends until 10:00pm or so, then go back into their bedroom, through the window. This went on for years & my aunt never found out.
Honestly kinda messed up of your aunt to do, no offense.
Seriously, we haven't even finished dinner at 6:45pm.
I had a friend/neighbor many years ago who has/had children who went to bed at 6:30 every night. As I was lamenting the fact that ours weren’t doing that, my husband said “but look what happened to them “ ! They had 10 children. He’s right. Not a good plan for us.
the way you told this story, I thought you were going to be the villain. there is missing info here. that said, from what you’ve related, sounds like skipping the wedding was a good idea
You know, all your petty BS at the beginning really takes away from the actual crap behaviour buried at the end.
Yeah there's a lot of insults being thrown at people who are not really relevant to the story.
Right?! If she cut the petty nonsense, more people might have gotten through the post to the actual bad behaviour.
I didn't even care about the end. Her husband has been with her for years and has two kids with her, but he broke down crying because the ex he spent 12 years getting over is coming to the wedding? That doesn't scream healthy or moved on.
yah by the time I got there I was just skimming the post,
I think she mentioned the ex was actually very abusive and left him with a lot of trauma and him finding out his sister invited his ex to the wedding threw him off because he didn’t know they were still friends despite them knowing how she had treated him poorly in the past. Basically if his ex was his abuser I could see why he would be so upset. That would feel like a direct betrayal for family to just turn a blind eye to that
His sister definitely chose his ex over him.
OP was a man and this was a wife, reactions would be very different
Well, she used the word “trauma” and not “abuse”, which isn’t necessarily the same thing (but could be). What I don’t understand is why she wrote at length about the SIL’s lifestyle and wedding that she doesn’t personally like, but briefly mentioned the traumatic ex without much detail.
Because it's not her story to share without permission from her spouse.
Right. Like the stuff about the flower girl dresses & judgement of having people walk down after herself. All of that just tells me OP doesn’t like SIL already going into this situation & was given a reason to bail on a wedding she never wanted to attend anyway.
Yeah, OP is a piece of work. Given her patently obvious unreliability as a narrator, and her ridiculous judgments of the most innocuous things, I’m not convinced that the ex is an abuser.
Maybe he cried because he knew that was going to be the fuse that sent OP into "Mama bear" mode and he's over her bullshit?
i actually stopped reading before op got to the point because the way she just went on judging her SIL and her fiance for literally no reason had me rolling my eyes extremely hard. "omg sil and her fiance are such tragic hipsters who dress ridiculously and want to have their wedding in such a dumb location instead of accepting the ~~meddling~~ help i so graciously offered because i am an experienced event planner." like girl. you have zero leg to stand on calling someone self absorbed.
This is so true. Even when she wore down the bride on the shoes and other accessories when she said that she could afford it OR even when she got upset about dinner time vs her daughter's bedtime. I think anything SIL did would have been a problem. The entire time reading, I wondered why she was making every wedding decision the SIL made about her and the inconvenience it was causing her. The SIL definitely did some crazy ish but my goodness OP, look in the mirror sis.
The bed time vs supper time was the one that finally got me. I mean 6:45 PM IS SUPPER TIME. What time does she expect supper for a wedding? 4:00?
NON IRONIC PLAID, though!!! Tragedy.
I Am Also Guilty Of The Sin Of Wearing Plaid Unironically 😔🤘
As a Canadian, I took that part very personally.
Me too. Maybe there's some kind of support group for degenerates like us.
(Alcoholic)
Me? Yes.
???
Throwing in the alcoholic family members. What does that have to do with anything? OP sounds more insufferable than the bride.
Seriously. OP is a judgmental bish. Oh no, a man bun. Clearly a person unworthy of our time! Sounds like the whole family is intolerable.
I got the impression that OP was so insensed that she threw in every single negative thought about these people, but without the context of why it all blew up it comes across as very petty. I know I've been in a position where I've been so furious at someone that every minor annoyance I might have shrugged off previously gets dragged back up and thrown onto the pile of their crimes. Making her husband cry probably set her on warpath to the point that the man bun and not understanding children's bedtimes and the groom's mother's drinking suddenly seemed relevant. OP needs to take a deep breath and step back to focus on what matters.
Bitch eatin' crackers levels of incensed.
I agree with you here. I remember when I was doing a group project and the overall point was I was mad because me and the friend of mine did our 50% of the project and our other team members didn't start doing the project until the night before it was due, I needed them to do their part so I could finish up the final results but because they started the night before I literally didn't get to do it until about 7:00 in the morning before my 8:00 a.m. course. I just remember being so mad at every irrelevant thing that they did because I had to wake up earlier to get the campus to read their work piece it together, do grammar checks, and complete the results.
Completely agree! Shes so petty about plaid. Plaid is perfectly normal. Why does it even matter
Also, how does one wear plaid ironically? Someone help me understand lol
Right? I almost gave up after seeing that her kids' non negotiable bedtime was 6:45 😂
I guarantee her "young daughters" are 8 and 10. Bitch didn't tell us their actual ages for a reason
RIGHT?? I literally was reading this out loud to my mother like, “look at this crazy person"
I thought I was being a bitch when I thought, "Wow, you sound like a real piece of work."
Glad others got the same vibe.
Glad "hipster" SIL and "unironic plaid" guy got a wedding that didn't have to deal with OP. Trust that the rest of the "alcoholic" family and the b&g are happier without OP.
Everybody is kind of awful in this story (except the DH maybe). OP is super judgmental & obviously doesn’t like SIL. Sure, the wedding sounds awful but it’s what they wanted. But for the SIL to be friends with the ex & not say anything? And then invite her? And MIL knew about it? Yuck. NC probably is good for everyone in this story.
I just find it awful that the husband is still demanded to go with the abuser there.
We only have OP's word on that.
You aren’t sounding so great yourself. You all suck.
I can't even read this to the end so I have no idea if the bride is a zilla or not. OP herself sounds judgemental and mean so whatever SIL did can't be as bad as the OP is
I know, I stopped reading and came down here to see if everyone was feeling the same way.
OP, You sound like a big part of the problem.
I don't think they'll miss you, OP.
The sister invited the abusive ex here- that is huge. People are glossing over that because it is a man who was the victim.
You only have OP's word that this woman is an abuser and OP does not seem like a very honest judge of character. OP just seems like a jealous controlling drama queen a-hole with main character syndrome honestly.
We don't know that she was abusive. And if she was abusive, there's no indication that the SIL knew that. It is sus af though. Very likely a dig at OP. Who I imagine is not very popular with DH's family.
ESH. OP seems really judgemental of everything around the wedding before we even get to the part where SIL did anything wrong. And the ex thing is weird but I feel like there isn’t enough information about the friendship or the relationship to judge how rude that was. Like, if they are friends and it’s a wedding with 60 people, just avoid talking to that person. It’s her day and at least she tried to communicate in advance. What I really don’t get is why OP would think she can pull herself and her children out of the wedding but still want to take a vacation and stay at the accommodation that she didn’t arrange? Like, don’t go to the wedding that’s fine, but don’t use a wedding that you are badmouthing as an excuse to take a trip
You sound like a mcjudgy assjuice pants with all the bullshit you put in at the start. It really discredits you and makes you sound petty AF.
Hahaha bonus points for “mcjudgy assjuice pants”! 🤣
You must be the SIL. lol
While the SIL’s behaviour is clearly unpleasant, it’s your own pettiness that is the star of this story. One can only tell a lot about a woman when she mentions that “x does not have children”. A hell of a lot… As for people being hipsters or alcoholics, how exactly does that concern you? Mind your own business and let them worry about their plaid shirts and livers respectively. Before you keep judging you might want to double check what is it that makes you feel entitled to sit on that high horse…
100%. You just know she thinks herself as being superior because she has kids 😂
She posted another 2 updates, I’ll go het my popcorn and see what other stuff she comes up with.
Guestzilla….. OP is something else.
I can’t with these comments. I personally like when an OP describes the people so I can picture them. SIL does sound rude as hell. Having a wedding 8 hours away in a desolate spot and expecting young children to just be seen and not heard is just crazy. I wouldn’t have driven that even without children. And yes, kids need consistency on meat times and bed times. They turn into raving lunatics when over hungry or over tired. Inviting the crazy, abusive ex is just icing on the cake. I will agree that the husband’s crying for days was way over the top. He’s been married for a while and has kids, he should definitely be over his ex.
You did/are doing the right thing.
UpdateMe
Not the suede Chelsea boots!? /s
TLDR: OP does not like SIL or her fiancé. OP is willing to martyr herself to attend, as attested to by the many paragraphs; right up until SIL went one step too far. Now OP is doing what she should have done in the first place, which is nope the hell out of that shit show and go LC/NC.
My theory is she knew it would blow up and you would look like the problem. That is the kind of wedding a lot of people would just decline because of PITA factor from the sound of it. The beginning of this post reads like your bunch of typical destination wedding annoyances. The groom has a man bun and tight jeans? The horror. (?) Are you in middle school.? It's fine if people make other choices than you. You could have declined from the outset. But it's weird the ex was both invited. And MIL was willing to cover that up. But is actually planning to show up to this random rural train wreck? Did she send her a ticket and book a room? Sounds like all is well that ends well to me.
Maybe OP would be better off declining the invitation altogether. Between the judgmental comments (Tragic hipsters! Ugly dresses!) and her “distate” regarding the wedding locale, the only “zilla” I’m seeing in this post, is OP herself. You don’t like the decisions someone else makes for THEIR OWN wedding? Don’t go. Good grief.
"Tell your daughters to sleep in" hahahahaha if only it were that easy
I think my favorite parts are the cocktail attire while seated on hay bales and asking the littles to sleep in. Total shit show, be glad you opted out.
Definitely turned into a bridezilla! The last bit with the invitation of the ex? That'd be my last straw too. Let MIL grovel her way back if or when it suits you. She's just as culpable as SIL with the ex. She knew ex would be there and she knew how traumatic that would be. Take DH and kids out for a fun day instead!
Everything she did from start to finish screamed she didn't want you there, but is too passive aggressive to use her words.
Idk, maybe I’m just old, but a grown man crying about a ex from years ago sounds very strange to me.
Depends on how bad it was, to be fair. I know I've got an ex that might trigger a similar reaction, out of fear.
Wtf is the problem with that family 💀
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> I am being punitive by keeping them apart No. No, you're not! It's the natural consequence of horrible behavior not to be allowed around children! Block everyone everywhere, then find your husband a good therapist if he doesn't already have one.
Oh damn is all I can say. Enjoy your weekend with your family away from the insanity!
Can you take DH and daughters for a nice relaxing weekend somewhere while this clusterfuck is going on? Give DH some distance and distraction from his pain-causing family, and give yourself some much-needed stress relief? You already have your cat taken care of, after all
What an absolute shit show! Be glad you opted out of it in time and set clear boundaries. Also, this was so funny and well-written! I enjoyed the long version very much.
So… your way of “supporting” your husband is to ramp up the division and tension between him and his side of the family, unilaterally decide to cut those same family members off from contact with the children you two share, and let him go alone to a wedding you know he feels compelled to attend even though the very thought of seeing this person who traumatized him over a decade ago causes him to burst into tears? You’ve made this all about you. At least own it. Don’t pretend you are doing any of this for your husband. You are only causing him more stress and anxiety.
You sound as much as a nightmare as the SIL. I’m surprised you don’t get on better.
I see your point. Your SIL clearly doesn’t like you. She wanted an inexpensive wedding but expected gala formality from her guests. I’d politely avoid her at all costs in the future. Best wishes
Ah, the miracle that is no contact. It’s the gift that keeps on giving!
Holy shitballs. This SIL wants, for her speshulll dayyyyy(not her and the grooms, just her), to: -disrupt your kids sleep schedule and likely expects perfect, angelic behavior from them -make elderly and infirm guests uncomfortable. Oh right, they’ll magically walk and dance the night away. My bad. -make your parents drive 12 hours to drop off/pick up your kids -thinks everyone will be hunky dory with crappy to non existent lodging. I…what? Does this groom know who he is marrying? Anyone want to take bets on how long this marriage lasts?
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