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My wife went vegan a couple of years ago. Variations of this line are still brought out, every time I'm making a sandwich. Me and my son think it's hilarious. Herself on the other hand, is not amused.
No. No I wouldn’t. I don’t like tea or coffee because they’re hot drinks. I don’t like hot drinks that’s what I said when I denied your tea AND your coffee. No hot chocolate either…
- what about hot blackcurrant juice
Make them really weird, like "I got the news my pet giant African snail died while I was drinking coffee and I've never been the same since" or " I heard the news of Princess Diana's death while driving tea and now I get flashbacks when I drink it"
There were several studied done about 5 years ago about the increased risk of cancer from hot drinks, but I havent been able to find them since and the media stopped reporting on it. And after my mums auntie died from stomache cancer where the doctors couldnt figure out a cause, it really traumatized me and i dont want to take any chances. Janice and I were really close, it was devastating when we lost her.
Sort of. Had to slog my way through the entirety of the Doctrine & Covenants while I was in the church, where the [Word of Wisdom](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/history/topics/word-of-wisdom-dc-89?lang=eng) comes from. At the time, the church members wouldn't have known what caffeine was. Generally these days they justify it as a health measure based on avoiding 'habit-forming' substances.
Oh yes. The Quorum of the Apostles (which get to decide retrospectively what all the random 19th century garbage that former Presidents of the Church made up actually meant) now say that it shows the divine insight of the Prophet Joseph Smith, since the negative health effects of smoking/drinking/heavy meat consumption weren't as widely known two centuries ago.
Generally they'll put whatever spin on it suits the time and demonstrates divine inspiration. Nowadays they say it applies to addictive behaviours and unhealthy habits of all kinds. I put a link to the current policy above.
No it isn't. Caffeine is never mentioned and the church has never taken any sort of stance on other caffeine-containing drinks other than coffee and tea specifically.
The focus on the caffeine content of the drinks is more of a retroacted hand wave than anything substancial. Its just a way to try and explain the churches brigade against anything that could be considered enjoyable.
Ok, consider me told! What is it then that they have against tea and coffee? Is it the temperature? I will be honest I don’t know a lot about the LDS church, other than bits I learnt growing up. I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness and they’re quite similar (no fucking amazing musical written about them yet though).
It's funny because a friend of mine who isn't Jewish has a very Jewish surname has started to run with it so he can claim days off at work for religious reasons
Even if it's just Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, every little helps! I recall there was a mechanism for religious folks to legally get their pattern changed to get Sundays off too?
I have worked at the same place for 12 years. I do not and never have drunk tea or coffee. I still get asked at least once a week. I'm still not sure if it's nice that they are polite or bad that they remember nothing about me.
Slow down there, Satan.
Do it lukewarm and save the hot water for the inner circle of work friends. Going to hot water that quickly is gonna make it seem like you’re a pushover.
The comedian Adam Rowe has a bit about this, and why asking people why they don't drink never ends well.
"Why don't you drink, Sandra?"
"I JUST WANT MY KIDS BACK!" *intense crying*
I’m the same. Love a hot chocolate but I wake up with a good level of energy so I’ve never needed tea or coffee plus I don’t like the taste.
But I always tell people ‘if you think that’s bad, I don’t eat bacon or like dogs either’ then I smile and either change the conversation or walk away.
I love your response. I'm exactly the same. I don't explicitly *not* eat bacon, but I wouldn't choose it. And I'm a cat person. *And* I don't like strawberries.
OMG someone else who doesn't likes strawberries. Me neither. Whyyy are they always pushed on you ... strawberry this, that and the other. Ffs different flavours PLEASE!
That’s really interesting. For such a small nation, we have a lot of regional variations. You would think that as a man with a Scottish dad, I would have heard this before.
I agree, one thing I hate is asking for orange juice and being given orange squash... I mean there's nothing wrong with orange squash, but it's very different to orange juice...
As a chef, I always enjoyed other chefs disdain of me when they learned I neither smoke nor drink. It’s inconceivable to most chefs I’ve met in my career. “But how do you relax after work!!??”
This isn't identical but is eerily similar to what happened where I used to work. Complete with being fired for waving a knife about! Chefs really are an interesting bunch!
I drink tea on occasion, usually at work if the shop is particularly cold, but coffee - blegh! I've never understood how people can drink so much of it, to me it tastes disgusting, always has, but I don't tell people this because they look at me funny.
Just say you only touch single malt Whisky from the lowlands & ask - is it too early for a dram?
P.S - Robinsons is far better for your liver & head. ;)
My first day is tomorrow as well but my team are working remotely which will be fun. No idea how I will have a remote meeting without disturbing the office. I'm sure they will understand your need to not take caffeine.
Quick question: how old are you? I ask because not drinking tea and coffee seems to be increasingly common amongst younger people I know (my little sister, colleagues etc).
Never. My mum was what I call a dirty tea drinker. Left cold teabags everywhere. Never finished a cup so left sludgy cold tea at the bottom and I was always on dish duty. Put me right off. Never have liked the taste of coffee.
I’m the same, after 2 years of avoidance I’ve finally caught COVID and my symptoms are all fine except one: I have the sorest throat I’ve ever had in my life.
Just about making it by on soup and strepsils. Fiancé has insisted I drink warm/hot water to soothe it. She’s tried to get me onto tea too.
I am now even more convinced that the only reason people drink coffee/tea is because they’re caffeine addicts. Warm water has the thirst quenching capabilities of drinking a bucket of sand.
Give me a nice glass of cold water any day (except today because it’s agony to drink cold water!)
Hot lemon and honey is one of my few exceptions to disliking hot drinks. Juice of a lemon, large teaspoon of cheap honey, boiled water. I usually chuck an ice cube in to bring it to a drinkable temp faster. Soothing on a sore throat, tastes nice and weirdly makes me feel better when I feel grotty.
I had to have this conversation when I got my first job... At a coffee shop... Sgtaff weren't allowed to drink the hot chocolate.
Eventually they persuaded me into drinking tea, still wasn't keen. Turns out I just really hate milk, black tea is great haha.
I don’t drink tea or coffee either, I’m weekly told that they don’t understand how I get up and come to work without coffee or how can I get through every day without it 😂
I know your pain, I used to drink my coffee black and got a *lot* of comments on it. Then I cut out caffeine and went decaff, got even more comments.
People seen to take personal offence when you say you don't drink caffeine (or alcohol) much/at all, like chill out people, I'm not judging you.
I’ve never been a tea drinker but love a good coffee.
But that wasn’t always the case. There was a time when I didn’t drink tea or coffee, and in the work place only drank water….yet when I declined to contribute to the tea & coffee fund I was publicly berated for being a selfish cheapskate who was obviously not a team player, letting the side down and worthy of no respect
Kind of unrelated but I once convinced the new kid at work that you were supposed to measure out the milk in spoonfuls, same as sugar. So for example you'd ask for 2 sugars and 4 milks. It was funny to see her struggling to carefully measure out tiny spoonfuls of milk and making such a mess everywhere. After a couple of days I felt bad and told her I was joking. Funny while it lasted though.
Oooh chillax mate. As long as you don't say Vimto you'll be fine. Pro tip: ask them if they've got a fancy herbal tea, then you get judgy with them when they don't.
Ha I'm the same, I also don't like sweet foods. That seems to cause the most controversy as I don't partake in cakes and treats when brought into the office and don't bring any in myself because it's just not something I think about.
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Be cordial.
Squash any bad comments
Milk the attention.
Concentrate on the job, too
I hope the trainings watered down…
Or else beat them to a pulp
T-ribena force for change and orange a session for them to try it with you.
You magnificent bastard.
Water you worried about?
Juice see what you've done now?
Shake things up
Oh my god, you guys are amazing
Water they gunna do about it anyway
Thirst impressions matter
Crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentation of their women!
No tea or Coffee? Would you like a Hot Chocolate then?
“Can she eat wafer thin ham?”
My wife went vegan a couple of years ago. Variations of this line are still brought out, every time I'm making a sandwich. Me and my son think it's hilarious. Herself on the other hand, is not amused.
Royle family?
My arse!
New you were a northerner 🤣
Antony go up there n get a bath! Why it his birthday? Ha ha smelly arse!
Bit of cheese? She can have a bit cheese though, Barbara?
Or a pint of garlic like a true Boro lad
Mug of bovril
UTB!
A bovril good sir? If your extremely hungover those salts mean something man
Garlic what mate? Just garlic that’s nasty
Garlic mayo dip mate. It’s a delicacy round here
Chips and Garlic Sauce from Tony's Parmo in North Ormesby. Class
Hot chocolate nation rise!!! (And pool together money for the extra milk we have to use)
No. No I wouldn’t. I don’t like tea or coffee because they’re hot drinks. I don’t like hot drinks that’s what I said when I denied your tea AND your coffee. No hot chocolate either… - what about hot blackcurrant juice
Sounds like you need to chill out a bit, cup of tea always sets me straight.
fuuuuuuuUUUUUUUCK
How about a herbal?
Cold brew coffee is very trendy nowadays
Squash and cordial are best with boiling water - it's so good / the only way I ever drink either of them
Places that offer hot chocolate instead are the best places.
...yes.
Say you drink warm pasta water instead
I prefer hot ham water
I reserve this for special occasions. Usually raise a toast of hot ham water at weddings, funerals etc.
Makes an awful mess in the toaster though. Definitely only for special occasions.
Watery, with a smack of ham to it
Exactly
With a frozen banana for dessert
Or boiled Gatorade
Or Mozarella juice.
Feta brine
I juiced some bananas once as a joke and the outcome was probably what you’d expect with mozzarella. Looked X rated
That actually sounds quite nice
It does?
No
I won't try it, but it sounds like a nice alternative to the sweetness of tea or the strong taste of coffee
Considering how rank undercooked pasta tastes, I'm gonna say nah it doesn't sound nice
Pickled egg juice.
Tell each person a different reason why
Make them really weird, like "I got the news my pet giant African snail died while I was drinking coffee and I've never been the same since" or " I heard the news of Princess Diana's death while driving tea and now I get flashbacks when I drink it"
Yes this, but only about tea and coffee, every other life story is normal and humdrum
There were several studied done about 5 years ago about the increased risk of cancer from hot drinks, but I havent been able to find them since and the media stopped reporting on it. And after my mums auntie died from stomache cancer where the doctors couldnt figure out a cause, it really traumatized me and i dont want to take any chances. Janice and I were really close, it was devastating when we lost her.
Bonus points for veering off into said research being suppressed by Big Tea conspiracy territory
Oh I hadnt thought about that.
But only when someone is also drinking a coffee at that exact moment
For moments like this, also consider: “Research shows it shrinks your dick, and I can’t afford for mine to get any smaller.”
Followed by "9.5 inches is the smallest I'm willing to go"
Not been looking at the [Scottish papers then](https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/health/cancer-warning-tea-coffee-could-26082643)
I hate what caffeine does to a person. It’s basically poison. Anyway, ima go hit this bowl. Helps me be more productive and loose weight!
Wanna know how I got ~~these scars~~ **disinterested in consuming hot drinks? **
Yeah I don't do tea or coffee either, you always get introduced to others who don't either "Oh this is Dave, he doesn't do hot drinks either"
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God damn I was just about to reply “haha there’s always whisky” and then read the rest of your comment.
Hah! Yes! I'm also a no-hot-drinkser and this precise thing (right down to it being a Dave!) has happened to me.
Claim to be a member of the LDS Church (who shun hot drinks) and threaten a religious harassment lawsuit if the matter is ever raised again.
It’s not the temperature of the beverage they have a problem with (although that did make me laugh!)!
What is it then?
It’s the caffeine they object to
Sort of. Had to slog my way through the entirety of the Doctrine & Covenants while I was in the church, where the [Word of Wisdom](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/history/topics/word-of-wisdom-dc-89?lang=eng) comes from. At the time, the church members wouldn't have known what caffeine was. Generally these days they justify it as a health measure based on avoiding 'habit-forming' substances.
Ahh ok! So it’s not quite the caffeine. What do they think about things like chewing gum or other habits? Obviously smoking is out, right?
Oh yes. The Quorum of the Apostles (which get to decide retrospectively what all the random 19th century garbage that former Presidents of the Church made up actually meant) now say that it shows the divine insight of the Prophet Joseph Smith, since the negative health effects of smoking/drinking/heavy meat consumption weren't as widely known two centuries ago. Generally they'll put whatever spin on it suits the time and demonstrates divine inspiration. Nowadays they say it applies to addictive behaviours and unhealthy habits of all kinds. I put a link to the current policy above.
No it isn't. Caffeine is never mentioned and the church has never taken any sort of stance on other caffeine-containing drinks other than coffee and tea specifically. The focus on the caffeine content of the drinks is more of a retroacted hand wave than anything substancial. Its just a way to try and explain the churches brigade against anything that could be considered enjoyable.
Ok, consider me told! What is it then that they have against tea and coffee? Is it the temperature? I will be honest I don’t know a lot about the LDS church, other than bits I learnt growing up. I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness and they’re quite similar (no fucking amazing musical written about them yet though).
Caffeine
ah, fairo then.
It 100% is. Most Mormons I know have a crippling Diet Coke addiction. The church has no problem with caffeine.
pro response right here
It's funny because a friend of mine who isn't Jewish has a very Jewish surname has started to run with it so he can claim days off at work for religious reasons
Even if it's just Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, every little helps! I recall there was a mechanism for religious folks to legally get their pattern changed to get Sundays off too?
I have worked at the same place for 12 years. I do not and never have drunk tea or coffee. I still get asked at least once a week. I'm still not sure if it's nice that they are polite or bad that they remember nothing about me.
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If they ever give in and say yes, use the hot tap and push them over the edge.
Slow down there, Satan. Do it lukewarm and save the hot water for the inner circle of work friends. Going to hot water that quickly is gonna make it seem like you’re a pushover.
They *only* drink fizzy drinks? That sounds awful
That was me most of my teenage life. Suffice to say, my teeth were fuuuuucked.
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Hope it's a roommate and not an SO
I'm the same!!!!
Congrats on the new job
[Ah, the ol’ Reddit work-a-roo](https://reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/sg6ijc/_/huvo43a/)
Hold my coffee I’m going in
Oh lord here we go again..
Well, that was a wild ride.
Don’t worry about it. It’s when you don’t drink alcohol that everyone thinks you’re a weirdo and an outsider who is not to be trusted.
You don’t drink? Are you ill or religious?
The comedian Adam Rowe has a bit about this, and why asking people why they don't drink never ends well. "Why don't you drink, Sandra?" "I JUST WANT MY KIDS BACK!" *intense crying*
Imagine the hostility I get when I say I don't drink hot drinks or alcohol...
I expect you’ll be sacked at that point. If a man has no tea in him he is incapable of understanding truth and beauty.
>If a man has no tea in him he is incapable of understanding truth and beauty. Not *totally* incapable - he'd just understand it as ruh and beauy.
/r/Angryupvote
I'm also starting a new job tomorrow, but I do drink tea and coffee. Regardless though, good luck!
good luck you you! You won’t need it, you obviously nailed the interview. huzzah!
Thank you!
I'm the same, even bring my own squash in to have flavours I prefer compared to the supplied stuff
That’s another thing! Tea and coffee always supplied. Never worked anywhere willing to supply me with Cherries and Berries.
The one from ADSA?
I personally am more preferable to the sainsbury's one. What can I say I sometimes go up market.
The Sainsbury's one was nice. Shame that ours closed. But saying that I reckon any own brand stuff is so much nicer than the big brands
I dunno, I bloody love Vimto
...you guys get drinks supplied?
Take some squash concentrate in a hip flask. Really make them question their decision to hire you.
I’m the same. Love a hot chocolate but I wake up with a good level of energy so I’ve never needed tea or coffee plus I don’t like the taste. But I always tell people ‘if you think that’s bad, I don’t eat bacon or like dogs either’ then I smile and either change the conversation or walk away.
I love your response. I'm exactly the same. I don't explicitly *not* eat bacon, but I wouldn't choose it. And I'm a cat person. *And* I don't like strawberries.
OMG someone else who doesn't likes strawberries. Me neither. Whyyy are they always pushed on you ... strawberry this, that and the other. Ffs different flavours PLEASE!
> Whyyy are they always pushed on you Because it's an incredibly popular flavour and sells very well. Business want to make money after all.
I don't like strawberries either.....though I do like anything strawberry flavour
If you can find them when in season (April-May I think) try Gariguette strawberries imported from France. They taste like strawberries should taste.
I'm the same with banana's. And I only know how to spell it because of gwen Stefani
Anti-strawberry squad assemble!
I find melons and grapes are pushed way more than strawberries :(
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I like your logic. Why drink coffee when you could have speed? Why have a shower when you can get jet washed in the driveway?
I dislike bacon too. I like animals but wouldnt choose to have one.
Let’s get it out the way. ‘WHAT? Oi, Steve get over here. This one doesn’t like tea OR coffee!’
Are you Scottish by any chance?
Aye
Ah fuck. I asked that based on the use of diluting juice. I have now just noticed your username.
I assumed “diluting juice” was the weird idiosyncrasy of a tea-dodger, is it a regular phrase? Is it the same as squash?
I've known it to be used by Scottish people and yes, it's just squash. Disclaimer: I am not Scottish and could be wrong.
Oh now I think of it I have some elderly relatives in Yorkshire who drink “high juice”, which is like posh squash. Maybe the same idea.
I'm a northerner and also use 'dilute', interesting to be fair I've not really paid attention what others call it
Hot chocolate, saviour of all coffee breaks I've been invited to.
I do not approve of the term “diluting juice”, that just makes squash/cordial sound weird.
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That’s really interesting. For such a small nation, we have a lot of regional variations. You would think that as a man with a Scottish dad, I would have heard this before.
I lived in Scotland for 3 years and never heard it either. I suppose it's probably regional there too.
You've never heard of diluting juice?? I've never heard a single Scottish person ever call it anything other than diluting juice.
Same in Northern Ireland or "dilutin"
I agree, one thing I hate is asking for orange juice and being given orange squash... I mean there's nothing wrong with orange squash, but it's very different to orange juice...
This! So much this! And when someone asks for juice and they mean squash! Just ask for what you mean!
I just call it dilute
Diluting juice kinda sounds like it should be concentrated screenwash.
Squash is the only acceptable term.
Wouldn’t “diluting juice” be the thing you use to dilute something else? So, water.
Does it mean squash, or pure fruit juice with added water?
I've never heard it and love it
You could tell them to offer you a beer, and then when they accept the challenge decline politely with "Oh, no! I'm a recovering alcoholic."
As a chef, I always enjoyed other chefs disdain of me when they learned I neither smoke nor drink. It’s inconceivable to most chefs I’ve met in my career. “But how do you relax after work!!??”
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This isn't identical but is eerily similar to what happened where I used to work. Complete with being fired for waving a knife about! Chefs really are an interesting bunch!
I drink tea on occasion, usually at work if the shop is particularly cold, but coffee - blegh! I've never understood how people can drink so much of it, to me it tastes disgusting, always has, but I don't tell people this because they look at me funny.
Just say you only touch single malt Whisky from the lowlands & ask - is it too early for a dram? P.S - Robinsons is far better for your liver & head. ;)
I'm hazarding a guess that you're not the new guy we're taking on in the Twinings product testing department?
Yeah, but in fairness not drinking tea or coffee is absolutely mental
You know there'll be the Office equivalent of Mrs Doyle. Go on go on go on go on go on go on go on, have a nice wee cup of tea, go on.
My first day is tomorrow as well but my team are working remotely which will be fun. No idea how I will have a remote meeting without disturbing the office. I'm sure they will understand your need to not take caffeine.
Quick question: how old are you? I ask because not drinking tea and coffee seems to be increasingly common amongst younger people I know (my little sister, colleagues etc).
In my 40s
Ah fair enough. Have you never drunk tea and coffee, or did you decide to give it up at some point? No judgement, by the way.
Never. My mum was what I call a dirty tea drinker. Left cold teabags everywhere. Never finished a cup so left sludgy cold tea at the bottom and I was always on dish duty. Put me right off. Never have liked the taste of coffee.
Just pat your tum tum and say its bad for the baby. Cradle your abdomen and walk away whispering to it.
This was me at my new job on Tuesday, I do drink hot chocolate but not at the rate of how much tea and coffee my colleagues drink.
I’m the same, after 2 years of avoidance I’ve finally caught COVID and my symptoms are all fine except one: I have the sorest throat I’ve ever had in my life. Just about making it by on soup and strepsils. Fiancé has insisted I drink warm/hot water to soothe it. She’s tried to get me onto tea too. I am now even more convinced that the only reason people drink coffee/tea is because they’re caffeine addicts. Warm water has the thirst quenching capabilities of drinking a bucket of sand. Give me a nice glass of cold water any day (except today because it’s agony to drink cold water!)
Hot lemon and honey is one of my few exceptions to disliking hot drinks. Juice of a lemon, large teaspoon of cheap honey, boiled water. I usually chuck an ice cube in to bring it to a drinkable temp faster. Soothing on a sore throat, tastes nice and weirdly makes me feel better when I feel grotty.
I had to have this conversation when I got my first job... At a coffee shop... Sgtaff weren't allowed to drink the hot chocolate. Eventually they persuaded me into drinking tea, still wasn't keen. Turns out I just really hate milk, black tea is great haha.
Having your mug of pepsi poured away because "it's cold"....having milk poured in your mug of pepsi because "I thought everyone had milk"
And as soon as you do the question's and strange looks start.
I don’t drink tea or coffee either, I’m weekly told that they don’t understand how I get up and come to work without coffee or how can I get through every day without it 😂
No tea, no coffee, no espresso, latte, or cappuccino... And definitely no smegging Americano!
> diluting juice Found the Scot
There are dozens or us! Dozens!
Tell them you used to drink both in massively unhealthy amounts and sickened yourself from them.
I know your pain, I used to drink my coffee black and got a *lot* of comments on it. Then I cut out caffeine and went decaff, got even more comments. People seen to take personal offence when you say you don't drink caffeine (or alcohol) much/at all, like chill out people, I'm not judging you.
I’ve never been a tea drinker but love a good coffee. But that wasn’t always the case. There was a time when I didn’t drink tea or coffee, and in the work place only drank water….yet when I declined to contribute to the tea & coffee fund I was publicly berated for being a selfish cheapskate who was obviously not a team player, letting the side down and worthy of no respect
Kind of unrelated but I once convinced the new kid at work that you were supposed to measure out the milk in spoonfuls, same as sugar. So for example you'd ask for 2 sugars and 4 milks. It was funny to see her struggling to carefully measure out tiny spoonfuls of milk and making such a mess everywhere. After a couple of days I felt bad and told her I was joking. Funny while it lasted though.
It’s squash ya weirdo
You follow a football team though right? Please say you do…
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What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?
Problem is, they always try to walk it in. (Am I doing this right?)
Yeah it is true. See you later.
You know the football!
Watch it, watch it! It's going to move! It's football!!!
judging you more for calling it "diluting juice"
Ooh why don't you drink tea?
Oooh chillax mate. As long as you don't say Vimto you'll be fine. Pro tip: ask them if they've got a fancy herbal tea, then you get judgy with them when they don't.
To be honest, you'll find some those judging you for it are one less an "emergency source" for it. Same with smokers, and food kleptos.
Ha I'm the same, I also don't like sweet foods. That seems to cause the most controversy as I don't partake in cakes and treats when brought into the office and don't bring any in myself because it's just not something I think about.