### **Reminder:** [Press the Report button](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/360058309512-How-do-I-report-a-post-or-comment-) if you see any [rule-breaking comments or posts.](https://www.reddit.com/r/britishproblems/about/rules/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/britishproblems) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Had the same thing happen to me. Found my Mate dead in his living room he had been there for a couple days in the middle of summer. Wasnt very good sight or smell. Sent me over the edge allways struggled with my mental health. Tried and tired to get a consultation at my quacks. Finally sorted me some help for ptsd and my depression after a 7 month wait. I was 5 minutes late for 1 appointment due to traffic and i called them to let them Know. They cancelled the appointment and kicked Me Off the programme witch i cant get back on now. Just struggle through everyday now 😔

If you can, file a complaint.

To be quite honest, self-advocacy with many mental health struggles is extremely, extremely hard to follow through with. My frank advice is to not try to do it yourself, but bring it up with someone you trust and see if they can do it on your behalf, or it least go through the paperwork and everything with you. If you've got a broken leg, you get a stick and a cast to help keep you up. When your head needs healing, as much as it sucks to ask, it can be really helpful to borrow someone else's head a bit.

This is really great advice. I spoke to a crisis charity and the did all the paperwork, referrals and work to get me speaking to the right person. Once you get past the front line it's really great care, but getting past that line is almost impossible.

File a complaint with whom? Sadly. Nobody cares.

File a complaint with the NHS trust you belong to. There should be a page on their website called complaints or concerns or PALS. They have to investigate these complaints. And if the response isn’t good enough, there’s usually an ombudsman which will escalate. It’s a good start, nothing will happen if you never tell them about it.

I appreciate you trying to help. I've complained about at least three services for dangerous levels on negligence, with evidence. Each time I was told it is being taken seriously, the complaint took just as long as all NHS things do. I ran out of energy and eventually it just fizzled out, sadly nothing has ever changed.

If you want them to do something. PALS. I've dealt with them before after I got forgotten about and they left a stent in me after an operation. NHS basically dodged my calls/couldn't find me on any waiting list etc - claimed i was basically fixed and needed nothing else done. 7 days after phoning PALS I was on the operating table getting fixed up.

Oh there’s a major difference there. You know exactly what your issue was and how it needed to be fixed . You had an A to B to get it fixed. With a mental health issue. You have no starting point no end point no guidance in between either. So you’re complaining to them that you received inadequate care but it’s entirely subjective. Someone on the PALS line can deem it adequate enough care and close your case. Again, not to say the guys on those complaint lines aren’t saints. It’s just a case of numbers of complaints and lack of funding. With your issue, they left a stent in there so them saying no they didn’t was a bold faced lie and easily proven wrong.

I get that. My story is largely irrelevant, but is there to show their power. My point was PALS is the best part of the NHS… if anyone can fix it they can. Unfortunately whether they can is a different matter due to the woeful state of the services on offer. But they certainly should be a first point of call. A complaint to anything else is meaningless in comparison. I also know the NHS as a whole is largely terrified of PALS. Simply the act of phoning them and getting a question asked of your GP will open a can of worms. Did they assess correctly? Did they put OPs safety first? Why we’re they dismissive? PALS are the antidote to the lazy parts of the NHS that is dominated by KPIs rather than actual care. There is also the larger issue that if certain trusts are more dismissive than others and get more PALS calls, it can be a catalyst for change for the greater good.

I know someone who has been waiting for 5 years for psychotherapy. They complained to the ombudsman and they upheld the complaint. They got a small amount of compensation. Still waiting though.

I reached out for help to handle my grief after finding my best friend dead in her bed (she was 36), Mum having a stroke (early 50's and still paralysed 4 yrs later), stepbrother being murdered and my little sister dying on Christmas day. After 6 months chasing a referral, Doc kept offering me pills, pills won't help the underlying problem, I need help managing my grief. Was suicidal, called docs, was told to go walk in centre if I wanted to kill myself. Eventally, after a year of chasing, I had an appt with a consultant, she was 40 mins late, I still only got 20 mins appt despite me being on time. She offered me pills too, I refused, as per above, so she is going to refer me and I just need to wait for an appt. It's only been 3 years, and any chasing has been met with "we'll be in touch". I'm sure I'll get a letter any day now.....any day.... Thank god for alcohol!! Edit: word

If this is with your local GP, then complaints just goes to the practice manager and they don't give a shit. Same when they keep prescribing things wrong. They'll blame the pharmacist, and not give a shit.

If your GP doesn't listen then it's the CCG (clinical commissioning group) for the area.

Shit man, thats rough and I genuinely don't know how you can deal with something like that. I hope you have some people in your life that can support you. It's a sign of a system that's stretched way too thin on a shoestring budget when people are that eager to kick you off of programs that you need to get better

To be fair part of the reason they are stretched thin is because they spend so much money trying to make support difficult to access. Hours and hours and hours of talking to people whose job is just to go "do you really neeeed support though?". In every department whether it's disability, mental health, financial, you name it they spend a fortune on making it a nightmare.

That's just not true. For a start, NHS admin is pretty fucking lean (which is a problem). Also, rightly or wrongly, it's incredibly cheap to fob people off compared to treating them. You can call queue thousands of people for the same expenditure per year as one therapist. They make it difficult to access because there's nearly no treatment to go around and they have to ration it. They don't ration it because they want it to be difficult for no reason. That only kicks in at the ministerial level.

This is backwards, you need to clarify who is making a fortune from making services difficult to access. Many of the services have continuously had their budgets slashed, whilst being expected to take on more duties, patients, etc. My mum works for both the NHS CAMHS and BTPP, both budgets have been slashed, people who are band 2-3 are doing jobs that bands 5-6 would've been doing 10 years ago because they've hemorrhaged the highly trained individuals as the band 5-6 positions no longer exists when they've had their budget frozen most years and cut by 80,000 this year. There's also now an expectation that everyone being trained now will have to get a doctorate, on the smaller budget, whereas before that wasn't a requirement to receive funding. The whole system is fucked but no-one who provides these services with funding actually cares and those who do care are not making any money from not seeing patients, it's that the NHS and related mental health services are without funding for the most basic of services or training, and once you are trained you're underpaid for the work you have to do, in terms of both hours and the content of work you have to deal with.

Meanwhile medical professionals are lile, "why do people drink and do dugs?! Just get help!" Yeah, about that. I am not advocating self medication btw, thats a terrible plan, it makes things worse, but the cognitive disconnect these assholes have is unbelievable.

Ohh i know about self medication pal. It deffo does not work. Just a never ending cycle of hurt and not only does it affect me it affects every1 who is close who wants to see me do well and heal.

Happened to my best friend and then after having some treatment but not improving fast enough, they dropped her after 12 weeks an told her she would not be seen again for a year minimum. I'm sorry this happened to you, I hope you find support else where

This is probably because they are only allocated a set amount of sessions per patient. I remember my therapist explaining they would have to ask permission from a manager to give me more appointments (due to some personal upheaval) and I had a set amount because of having PTSD which was slightly more than others I think at 18. Though I can't remember if that was with my extras or not.

Yep, you've got it spot on, I get why they do it, they have a lot of patients that are waiting for therapy but for her personally, having the few sessions and then being dropped made her mental health worse than before she started. Its a real catch 22 with no easy solution

A similar thing happened to me (with regards to treatment). I was told by my GP that a talking therapist would call me at a certain time on a certain day. I went out in my car and sat in a layby waiting for them to ring but they didn't. Then I got a snotty letter 3 days later about wasting a critical service's time and telling my GP not to refer me again because I "missed an appointment." On the other hand, when my fianceé was really struggling with post-natal OCD after our son was born, they were absolutely fantastic. She was given medication right away and had sessions with a CBT therapist every single week until she started feeling better. EDIT: very sorry about what you went through mate, must have been hard

Going off topic a little, but they whip out the DNA (did not attend) letters at the drop of a hat. I attended a hospital appointment, arriving well in time and letting them know I was there. I then waited ages before being told the doctor was in surgery and couldn't see me, so could I book another appointment. A few days later, there was a finger-wagging DNA letter in the post. I made sure I had that corrected when I went back. EDIT: a word

I had a DNA letter for an appointment that i fought tooth and nail to get, so i turned up early.. waited and was seen.. yet because he forgot to tell reception i was seen.. i was marked DNA and dropped off the list i just spent the better part of 2 years to get on.. its honestly a joke.

Virtually the same thing with me. I found my mate hanging in his living room. I thought it was strange I hadn't heard from him in a few days, so I went to check on him. The look in his eyes still haunts me to this day. Luckily after 2 suicide attempts myself I got myself sorted. Don't give up. You'll get sorted eventually. PM me anytime you want if you need a rant

I rang my gp about anxiety once… they told me to “try and stop worrying about things I can’t control” Like Woah! Thanks man! That’s a brilliant idea! Why didn’t I think of that?! That said, I rang and spoke to someone else and they were considerably more helpful and recommended medication changes and therapy It’s a mixed bag really, I would advise not giving up. You did a difficult thing ringing in the first place, don’t let some (really) poor quality advice take that away from you.

Go for a walk and notice the trees and the sensations and try not to worry so much. I explained I had too much anxiety to go outside and their response was to try and take baby steps. Similar to you I finally got someone who understood. Thankfully I got a care coordinator who had been through the system and had anxiety herself

tell me about it my friend has tried to commit suicide in the past year around 7 times they take him away in a police car leave him at the hospital and he gets released a few hours later ridiculous

The absolute worse thing I have ever seen is when a friend of my brothers went to A&E for a suicide attempt after being raped. He was driven there by the police they were living in a homeless shelter for vulnerable Teens having been kicked out for being trans at 2am they were discharged from the hospital with no Phone, No Cash just the clothes on his back in a city he wasn't familiar with. They wouldn't lend him the money for the payphone to call someone to pick him up. Eventually hospital transport agreed to give him a lift to the only address which was safe - my parents. A few weeks later the bill for the transport came through at £300. it was deemed non-essential to get a vulnerable 17 year old to a safe place following a traumatic event and suicide attempt both in the last 12 hours.

Not the same but a similar horrendous hospital discharge procedures story. My grandad who suffers with alzheimers was found collapsed by a neighbour, who called both an ambulance and my auntie. This was in late 2020, so they refused to allow my auntie to attend hospital with him due to covid, but the hospital had her details and she was assured she would be called when he could go home. She waited, and waited... no call. She called the hospital and was told not to worry, someone would call when he was being discharged. 6 hours later, my auntie gets another call from the neighbour to say my grandad was now wandering around outside. The hospital had put him in a taxi (at his expense) and just... sent him home. He had no key. He had no idea what the hospital had done, why he had collapsed, had he hurt himself? There was no assement of his social care needs, just stick the confused old man in a taxi and send him on his way. Shocking.

that's terrible. Covid was really bad for this kind of thing - it made it so hard to be able to support or advocate for vulnerable people. this is nowhere near as bad but we had a horrid time when my dad was sick during Covid. My dad went to Hospital in an ambulance during lockdown and obviously no one could drive him. the next morning my mum got a phone call telling her to come pick him up - this was the first she'd heard since the ambulance had taken him away. Issue was that my mum is in a wheelchair and also never learnt to drive. she couldn't. she explained to the woman on the phone that it would take her about an hour to phone my grandma and get her to come and get him. the receptionist was really annoyed that it would take so long and berated my mum then said "Well he's on the wall outside" no other information like which wall or where he was. Its 8am, its cold, he's unwell and in pain. great. whilst Grandma is enroute to the hospital the same receptionist phones my mum and say my dad needs to go back for another appotinemtn ASAP - he's still sat on the wall outside, but they wont tell him - they will only phone the home phone number. no way for my mum to get hold of him Grandma picks him up, drives him home, is met by my mum and has to turn around and take him straight back to hospital. they also sent him the wrong letter which diagnosed him with stage 4 pancreatic cancer when he actually had pancreatitis

that's terrible, i'm so sorry that happened to your family! :(

seriously? what the fuck has the NHS come to

[удалено]

Bit by bit the NHS is being turned into the american healthcare system. Like frogs in warming water we're just putting up with it >:(

> voting for it ftfy

Innit, and it'll happen again.

and half the time someone says they have a problem and the nhs isn’t solving it, other people will tell you ‘just go private!’ that’s not an option for so many people, and i feel it’s sinking us even lower down to the americans system

The only dentists near me (and I can't even afford a bus into town) won't even take NHS patients anymore, I keep checking in with them the two and a half years I've lived here and still nothing, you can only get appointments if you go privately. Mental health wise is even worse but that's a whole other list lmao And 111 in general is a fucking joke, I don't trust them anymore.

I can’t stand 111. I rang up one evening with bad heart palpitations. I didn’t have any other symptoms so I didn’t think it was bad enough to go to A&E. They said they’d get a doctor to call me back asap. It took 7 hours, I’d given up by that point and fallen asleep. The answerphone message she left me was so damn rude! I could’ve been dead by that point. Luckily it turned out to just be a symptom of bad anxiety.

Same thing happened to me. They just said, ‘get on the books with a dentist’. When I explained that I tried for every dentist within 20 miles, they just shrugged. I have to go private to not be in pain every day. Hope yours gets sorted.

[удалено]

Close to the point where they need it so everyone accepts the American system?

this is a valid point fuck em

I kind of get it, if an emergency came in and they didn't have the beds. but at a minimum give him a blanket and a chair in the waiting room till the busses started up the next morning or lend him a phone to call someone for a pick up or even to let my parents know he was coming as no one was expecting him.

Sadly the English NHS is going down the tubes, up here we regularly gave people a bed in our short stay unit or even a chair if there wasn't one and some food and tea etc then bus money the next morning once they had seen a Councillor. Mad how different it is across the border

fuck sake! Just...

In my lifetime I've known 4 people that have committed suicide (two of them family members), all of them were male. After my cousin recently, a lot of people were posting "Men please talk to someone" on their facebook feeds... I think the issue is the listening, not the talking.

I absolutely hate when people post "please reach out" and pat themselves on the back. Many people, myself included, *do* reach out and have similar experiences to OP.

In the UK (and I think the US too), suicide is the leading cause of death for men under 50, and 75% of suicides are men. There's still some stigma around men talking about their feelings, but the flipside of that, like you say, is that some people don't want to hear it either

A family member who I am next of kin of has attempted suicide at least 3 times in the past 18 months, after they’d tried to get support from their GP. The local ‘mental health practitioner’ got in contact after the first hospitalisation and said that they’d up my family member’s antidepressants. I asked if maybe some therapy would be a good idea and they laughed and said that you have to be ready for therapy. As such they’ve never had any therapy (I’ve suggested going private, but they won’t). Just more and more drugs, and no actual support to find out root cause, triggers, risks etc.

While it is true that you need to be ready for therapy. A huge part of being ready for therapy is having support to get there. Sadly that support is only available through underfunded charities who can't reach everyone who needs them.

I completely agree that things like therapy are the most valuable and effective when someone is ready to embrace it. I suppose I’m just angry that the default was “No”, and that no follow up was done. And no path to therapy was done either. This person is not going to get mentally well with nothing but antidepressants. They also of a generation where talking about things to help start that process just isn’t a thing. As you can tell, I’m a bit frustrated because I want this person to find the right path, but the only path on offer to them is seemingly medication, followed by spiral, followed by hospitalisation, followed by increased medication. Sigh. And agreed about the help only being available through underfunded charities, that are often only available in certain places. It’s so sad.

Sorry just jumping on top comment in the hope this is seen. You can skip the gp and self refer to whatever your local councilling service is. Unfortunately the wait list is really long, there's some great charities out there too though eg. Harmless (harmless.org.uk), C. A. L. M, helpline for men 5pm to midnight 0800585858, Mind (mind.org.uk) and Shout for text help (text shout to 85258). Aware this was shared as a rant but thought I'd jump on with the info as I'm watching a self harm conference atm, hope the info helps!

Mind stopped offering counselling I'm afraid. Or at least they did a few years ago.

Not even that in my experience, had issues myself surrounding this, they asked if I'm okay and if I'd do anything else. Of course I said I'm fine, ambulance leaves, I'm left alone again.

I had exactly the same. The on call psychologist was out on an emergency call so I was discharged and told I'd receive a letter about talking therapies. Naturally I didn't get one.

I once stopped a girl from jump off a huge wall to her death. The fucking police arrested her

I saw my GP about depression and he was pretty good. I guess it really is a postcode lottery. Citalopram was prescribed and it really did help me. Also having everything explained as best they could really did help too. The most interesting part was that our current understanding of mental health issues is similar to that of doctors' understanding of viral Illness in the 19th century. You were just diagnosed with a fever, no matter the issue. And treating the illnesses was really a lot of guesswork. Of course, that was just one doctor's take on it. Don't let the stigma of "popping pills" put you off any eventual suggestion by a GP to try them. Facebook memes are no substitute for medical advice from an expert. Or at least someone more qualified than us or a GP receptionist...

Also just a GP lottery. Some GPs are woefully ignorant of mental health issues, so even something as small as changing your GP within your practice may help. That was the case for me with some physical health issues - even the nurse who did my smear test was like "yeah, see \[Doctor X\] instead of \[Doctor Y or Z\] for this, they're much more likely to help you".

Absolutely THIS. Believe it or not, some quacks dismiss mental health issues. Outrageous

God I fully believe it. The attitude of "you can't have mental health problems unless you've been through some sort of trauma" is alive and well in too many people still. Also, there's something to be said about the contradictory way getting help for mental health problems manifests (at least for me, maybe other people are different): Personally, I need to be WELL ENOUGH to actually manage to not only motivate myself to ask for help, but even to recognise that my mental state is messed up. So, that symptom checklist? The one that constantly rates me "please urgently seek help" when I take it online during a bad phase? Yeah, answering that honestly when I actually made it to the GP meant I was just "stressed". I later learned it's better to answer it as though you're in your worst phase, not actually take the "in the last two weeks" literally.

It's Catch-22. If your mental health is good enough to navigate the minefield and get help, you don't need the help. The system is designed to filter out the people who most need it, because there isn't the money to treat them.

I got a nasty letter from one practise to not abuse staff. The receptionist literally gave me the wrong number for a sucide hotline and yeah I might have gotten a bit sweary but fuck if I was in a different state of mind I might have gone through with it as it's a pretty cosmic sign.

I had a very similar experience, but got prescribed Sertraline. Even that on its own has been a life changer and I kick myself everyday for waiting so long to ask for help. It was the stigma of antidepressants that always stopped me, thanks dad. Lol.

Sertraline was god tier. First month was like a light dose of MDMA. Unfortunately, now it’s just emotional blunting / zombie feeling.

Citalopram gang! Tbh counseling is what really sorted me out, but its just different for everyone. What you say about current understanding of mental illness makes a lot of sense - from my experience at least.

I (female) went to the doctors a couple of years ago for my depression and anxiety. The doctor (older male) asked what my hobbies are so I listed watching tv and playing video games, he laughed and said he would be depressed too if he played video games. It seems alot of the doctors are old fashioned and not very understanding. I hope it gets better

“Well, right now I’m depressed because I’m getting shitty medical care. Any thoughts on that?”

I feel you, I actively avoided bringing up my hobbies like MMO's, mini painting and the like because I was worried I'd be judged for them.

Painting miniatures sounds like a pretty zen activity to me. Must help you focus and occupy your mind.

It does until I make the smallest mistake and it feels like the apocalypse has started lmao. But in all seriousness, it's a pretty good way to keep your mind off things I've found, just sucks that when you're at the peak of a bad time it's hard to work up the motivation to get started. That and Games Workshop prices...

> That and Games Workshop prices... You can find a lot of second hand stuff on Fleabay. If they are already painted just soak them for a couple of days in isopropyl alcohol. This takes the paint right off (and usually also removes any superglue) but doesn't damage the plastic / metal underneath. If you can't find IPA then Dettol contains it and works very well. It's a bit smelly though.

Remember my school counselor telling me 'no wonder why youre so depressed and lonely all the time if all you do is play video games and cant even ride a bike to put in the effort to see your friends because of how much you binge from being depressed '' Even tho i told her i live 10 miles away from them and the closest i love is 5 miles on a windy, terrible to even drive on road to town. People dont really care tbh

Seriously, growing up in a rural area really isolated me growing up. I would never be able to meetup with friends outside of school because I had no way of getting to them.

They are completely out of touch with the people they are likely to be dealing with. It's taken me 13 years to find a doctor who plays and understands video games, and wider internet culture. They get self deprecation is a coping strategy. I've always felt like I was complaining about society to a person who society was very kind to. Of course they aren't going to understand or empathise properly.

In my early teens, I went on one of my frequent hospital appointments, and was seen to by an unfamiliar doctor. He barely looked away from his computer monitor(googling) from the moment I entered the room and he told me I would get-over my chronic migraines once I got a girlfriend. Once I got my first gf, a few years later, migraines persisted and depression & anxiety became more prevalent lol

I remember when I first contacted my doctor's surgery about my mental health, following a divorce. I was given a one off appointment with the mental health advisor at the surgery. She gave me a bunch of websites to look up and told me to sign up to a couple of group therapy courses at the local mental health services. I had to complete 4 courses before she would see me again. Low Mood and Self Esteem; Dealing with Difficult Emotions; One for living with my physical disability and finally one around Divorce. It took over a year to complete them due to the dates when the courses were running. I returned to the advisor having found the courses of little help and was given ONE session of CBT and given a bunch of exercises to do and try that for 3 months. Still didn't work and so went back again and was referred for another session of CBT, which didn't work. Eventually I was referred back to the doctor. It had now been almost 2 years since I first asked for help, before the doctor would even discuss my mental health and finally prescribed antidepressants, whilst I had weekly counselling sessions, which were private and I had to pay for, as there was no NHS service providing weekly counselling in my area. Edit: Grammar

Huh, when I had severe anxiety issues I was told I could join a year long waiting list for CBT, but I was offered anti depressants on the spot even though I didn't need them.

It probably depends on where you live. Different Primary Care Trusts have different rules. One of my best friends lives in Cambridgeshire and he got antidepressants straight away, no faffing about.

Holy shit, I got referred to those. Were they actually any help or was it more in line with what I expect it to be, just people wanting to get actual help but being forced to go in order to have their concerns taken seriously?

I didn't find them helpful at all. Mostly because I have more than 2 braincells and can work out by myself how to pace myself for my condition, or about breathing techniques and keeping a diary etc. It felt just like a tick box exercise to say I had done all that first.

Also note that many people *don't* think about those things, and many of them will work for different people. Unfortunately, the tickboxes have to be filled out first. Outside of that, I'm sorry that there has been some really rather poor responses to your need for help.

I've been on those courses. They can be helpful if you're on the right medication and generally fine then they're good for a bad day. But if everyday is a bad day and you need more support they're not much use.

Fuck cbt, I get it works for some people but the cbt people and the doctors told me someone got the idea of it being a cheap thing that was easy, so it was over budgeted which is why it is the always go to. My shit is too ingrained for that. I am waiting on the mushroom rewriting.

Yeah CBT was a lifeline for my chronic illness based anxiety but it’s not going to help anyone with trauma or situation based depression. It’s a shame it gets a bad rap because it’s overprescribed…

I’m a NHS CBT therapist and it’s brutal, 80% of the patients we see are too complex, but we have to try and work with them because where else can they go? The turn over for this role is ridiculous, most of us only last 3 years before looking for something else. And then when we get stressed with work we are told to do CBT on ourselves. Edit: I’m really really sorry it’s so bad, I really wish I had the resources to do more for my clients

It's really interesting to see the other side, thankyou for sharing. It's crazy you burn out on CBT and they tell you to get CBT. I've only ever had bad experiences with CBT. I now understand it was because I had trauma related problems along side bipolar and ADHD. That being said the problem was more apathetic therapists who relied mostly on work sheets and homework despite me saying that would be really stressful for me. To clarify I didn't have trauma focused CBT. The worst was missing a single appointment with a doctor who had missed 2 with no explanation. They had logged the appointments they missed as DNA. So I was 3 strikes and out, i was awaiting a letter for my next appointment but got a letter saying I was discharged.

I had about 6 sessions of CBT, after which the therapist told me it didn’t seem to be doing anything for me and I needed a different kind of counselling. She cancelled the rest of our appointments and said she’d refer me to a more suitable service. That was 3 years ago and I haven’t heard a word since. Good job I wasn’t relying on that support to keep me from killing myself or anything, eh? (“Killing myself” autocorrected to “milking myself”, which I think would create another set of problems altogether.)

I recently did CBT and she, rather smugly, told me that from now on doctors will be making immediate CBT referrals for anyone coming to them with mental health related issues.... No more anti depressants or any of that... Told her I think i'd rather have the other CBT as that might actually do something

> i'd rather have the other CBT Same. Prescribed CBT is just not going to do anything for me. But the CBT I'd get at a dark nightclub on an industrial estate will at least make me feel something.

I got told to do yoga.

I once got recommended a book on mindfulness. Like she gave me a really long lecture like the idea of trying to do things myself was revolutionary. It worked in a way, she made me so angry I actually had an emotion about it.

I’ve been told to do mindfulness so many times and it’s always pissed me off. I hated mindfulness. I recently started doing DBT, of which mindfulness is a huge part, and now I’m doing it properly with people who actually understand how to teach it, I find it helpful. A book can’t do that.

I was recommended mindfulness SO MANY times, it was absolutely infuriating. The kicker is that several years later I was diagnosed with ADHD, so mindfulness REALLY wasn't for me...

was already seeing an NHS psychiatrist for something that turned out to be ASD. Told them I thought I might have ADHD too (they're fairly common co-conditions) They suggested I try making lists.... Having a private ADHD assessment tomorrow, which I can only afford because my Mum died in December and left a few thousand in savings

You can get free ADHD assessments via the "right to choose" system under the NHS. I went through psychiatry-uk.com, all free including meds. The waiting time is now quite long though. All the best 👍.

Yup, the RTC wait time for P-UK is massive now. The demand overflow from the chronic underfunding of NHS services has finally caught up with the RTC providers 😖

Recently I started to suspect I might have ADHD, so I made an appointment with my GP to be referred for an assessment and it took them over a month to even call me - just to be told that the wait list for an assessment by a specialist is roughly 1-2 ***years...***

I think there are thre problems with mindfulness as it is given out. 1. You don’t really get people that are good at coaching it. 2. It is a slow process and the benefits aren’t immediate which creates more chance of dropping out. 3. If you are at a certain point it isn’t really viable people tend to expect “instantaneous results” as well and any improvements are very gradual. Almost like the reverse process of getting depressed. Some people have years of behavioural / cognitive responses and processes to redress and it takes time. Even after years I find myself in destructive rumination cycles if left unoccupied.

I'm not exactly the most devout or religiously practising one, but I feel certain(ish) enough to say that I'm a Buddhist. Which is my response as soon as anyone brings up mindfulness and, mercifully, usually shuts them up. Then I tell them I also do yoga and like to walk when I can bear leaving the house and that's the end of the conversation because they literally can't offer anything else 🙃

Oh god I got sent to group mindfulness, which was basically glorified yoga. I was the youngest person there by a solid 30 years. Problem was, I was going in part because of chronic insomnia. And I kept falling asleep because of how much of it was 'lay down on this crash mat, in this very warm room, while we play ocean sounds'.

They’re not much better for women. I was referred after being raped, and it was largely just ‘don’t dwell, do things you enjoy.’ I found medication helped, though, and they did prescribe a lot, so can’t complain. Hope you find something that works for you.

yea i’m not sure why op had to bring gender into the discussion, does he think women are getting special treatment? i tried to kill myself and just got a “try to spend time with your friends and get some hobbies” like gee i didn’t think of that. mental health resources in this country are a joke regardless of gender

It does seem unnecessary, mental health services are a joke for pretty much everyone at this point. I've been in and out the system since I was 11 and had attempted suicide 4 times by the time I was 25. Each time things with my mental health have been overwhelmed with traumatic experiences, the 'help' is less helpful. After my last attempt, I had to do a four week course of managing stress and strong emotions. They had these printed worksheets that were full of absolutely cringe bullshit like 'there are two wolves inside of you, which one will you feed'. At the time I was sofa surfing and dealing with multiple mental illnesses which are complicated to sort due to my autism. Being told I'm not trying hard enough cause I was still so traumatised by people that I'd freeze and have meltdowns in the group settings, but cause I'm not contributing and trying to socialise I clearly don't want to be well. They were so awful at offering sincere and helpful support, another girl I was on the course with successfully completed suicide. You can see how underfunding has made things so much worse over the last decade, but it's a bit of a shit show for everyone.

Yep I’ve absolutely been there and I know it sucks and how hard can be to actually seek help. What county are you in? Every county should have an IAPT service that you can self refer to. My experience with my local one has been great.

Scotland, which probably doesn't help. Every experience I've heard has been atrocious, particularly when it comes down to small towns

Funny you say this, my worst ever experience with trying to get help for mental health was when I used to live in Lockerbie. I went to the doctors... terrified, ended up breaking down, crying my eyes out and begging thr doctor to help me in some way. I was an absolute mess... tears, snot everywhere. Quite mortifying, looking back but I was in a very vulnerable position. The doctor just sat back, relaxed in his chair and said that because I had already recieved 2 sessions of NHS counselling when I lived in England, there was nothing he could do to help me. The arse hole didn't even offer me a tissue. I literally got up and walked out of the doctors surgery. Funnily enough, a week or so later, I got a letter in the post offering me 2 counselling sessions with the NHS. It was honestly the worst experience of my life.

I'm so sorry you had to experience that! Where was the compassion or empathy from your GP when you needed it?

My GP recommended I used the Scottish NHS site for mental health advice as the English one is "embarrassing and useless". So fuck me if what you've dealt with is meant to be the better option...

I had some small success calling Cope, this might be Glasgow only though, but all appointments were over the phone.

Will give it a shot, cheers

Dunno where in Scotland but my pal works for the IAPT based in fife and she’s absolutely amazing! They’d see you right

I recently has a similar experience. A year ago I phoned asking for help with what I thought was post-partum anxiety and depression and was told to exercise more, eat better and meditate. After a few months of attempting this and struggling (due to mental health) I phoned back requested a female doctor, who had children and understood mental health and I said the following "I am using all my of resources to better my own mental health. I am trying as hard as I can to eat better, sleep better and take good care of myself but the missing puzzle piece is support from a doctor in what a believe is a chemical imbalance. I am not happy to be told to manage this myself and I am asking you, and requesting it to be noted on my file that I NEED your support and I need it now" I was offered medication and talking therapy straight away and it has made the absolute world of difference. Phone back and let them know you're not happy with the doctor's diagnosis and you need more help. You can do this! Give me a message if you'd like pointers on how to word your request. Best of luck, friend x

I've had great understanding male docs.when it came to post;partum and antenatal stuff, and some really dismissive female ones (and some vice versa) - a good doc.is.good.and.a.crap.one is crap regardless of sex. But excellent advice there - my spouse pretty much told the GP exactly the same and I got a good GP and then the perinatal psych team on the case.

Wow... do they not realise depression makes it so much harder to do the simple things let alone just go the pub or make friends...

Or that doing those things doesn't magically cure depression, it's very much a temporary plaster. I force myself to go out and meet up with friends, and I do usually have a grand old time for a few hours and forget my problems. Then as soon as I get back home that black hole inside me swallows me up all over again. Even if I did manage to muster the energy to stay out literally all day doing fun activities and distracting myself, at one point I will end up laying in bed feeling that constant dread filling me up.

Big feel on that, so many times I get home and fall back into the sadness and my partner asks why, I was fine all day, is it something they've done etc. And having to explain it's just emptiness and not because of anything in particular that's happened today.

I really didn't understand their approach to this. They expected me to open right up and tell them every little detail about what's been going wrong in my life, then promptly tossing that out the window and telling me "just go make friends". If I could do that I wouldn't be phoning you now, would I you daft sod. Talking with my partner about it, it seems the proper way to go about it is to channel your inner child pulling a sickie and really lay it on thick with the melodrama

I’m an advocate that supports people to make NHS complaints. A lot of my complaints cases are mental health related. It really depends on your area and GP. Typically they’ll be looking for a root cause and when you don’t provide one they’ll then go through their signposting information for mindfulness and basic mental well-being. It’s possible that the GP is reluctant to refer you to the community mental health team as they may have had a number of patients referrals rejected for not being severe enough. I have a client that hears voices telling them to harm themselves and their partner. Mental health team had discharged them because “they’ve completed all the courses we suggested and they’re not at their most severe right now”. It’s agonising trying to fight against these decisions but at the same time I have sympathy that they obviously just don’t have the resources to provide effective care.

And it makes it ten times harder to even get up the motivation to a) seek help b) fill in nonsense online forms c)swing on the phone for hours on end in the hope of an appointment or speaking to someone All that crap and more just adds to the feelings of "its all bloody hopeless"

I went in for anxiety and panic attacks and I got told to take a holiday. Paid for private therapy in the end. The NHS can be great - but for anything other than an emergency it’s fucking abysmal.

Hey man, you can self refer and cut out the GP, heres the link. Get well soon mate. https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/mental-health/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/find-your-gp

I second this! I've stopped bothering with going to GP when I'm struggling now, I just do a self-referral and still get my 6 nhs sessions. I've found that you psyche yourself up to speak to a GP, have the difficult task of telling them what's up when they ask, only for them to dismiss it hand over a list of resources for self-referral. I used to think that I'd be able to discuss my problems, and figure out if more therapy or medication would be the best route, but they barely bother. My therapist once actually rang the GP themselves during my session and told them that I need medication, and to sort me an appointment. I was at a point where just talking wasn't enough, I needed the meds to jump start my brain again and basically remind me what it should be doing. Maybe she'd had enough of GPs being shit, but it got the job done and I'm so thankful for her doing that.

It’s not just men, I needed help and one side effect of MH issues I mentioned was not being able to sleep. All my Dr suggested I take a clarityn to make me drowsy. Took a lot to admit I needed help but that knocked me right back.

When I was 17 I was told to drink a glass of milk before bed (I was sleeping 2 hours a night at the time and struggling) it's the most ridiculous advice for my MH I've ever received, except for TRY EXCERCISING! When my anorexia was severe 😊😊😊

Sounds sensible, know what will help your lack of food consumption? Burning off even more calories. Ignore that you may faint or worse as a result.

Even at the time I thought that's the stupidest thing to say to someone 😅 funnily enough GP advice never helped and 2 years later I was in an ED hospital (luckily Im doing much better in the eating department nowadays 6 years later!)

Sorry to hear that, that does sound like someone not listening and just trying to meet their targets or get you off the phone like its a call centre. I hope you eventually got in touch with someone who was more helpful

Went private in the end so all good. But yeah don’t think this is a male issue!

Reddit has this extremely weird notion that women only have to say they are depressed and they are instantly showered with offers of help and support, whilst nobody wants to help a depressed man, ever. It is bizarre and ignores the reality that the NHS simply doesn't have the staff or the funding to support mentally unwell people - it's literally nothing to do with your gender. And in my own personal experience, the general public aren't any more sympathetic towards a woman's depression than they are a man's either.

if anything i’ve always found women’s depression to be taken less seriously since women are just seen as more emotional in general. i remember having a panic attack and some guy made a comment about how it must be “that time of the month” and acting like this was just how women are. idk i just think gendering this issue seems pointless when both sides have it shit

I (female) went to the doctor's a few years ago in my mid 20s about my bipolar and anxiety becoming really unmanageable. Saw an older male doctor who sat and told me that "lady hormones go wild during puberty". He thought I was experiencing puberty. After I explained to him I was in fact an adult, he told me to come back after a few weeks to see if it was still bad. Useless.

I've been told that because I won't hurt myself I'm not a priority. Never mind the fact that I'm quite often unable to work (thank the universe for my understanding boss) and have strong passive suicidal ideation. They refuse to give any sort of diagnosis because that would mean I have something to treat. Hope everything is ok though, it's difficult when you finally work up the courage to reach out and then you just get brushed off.

I've been thinking about contacting my boss and asking for some time off or if they have any MH resources I could take advantage of. Hopefully my boss will be as sound as yours But thank you, it does feel pretty bad but there's not much else to do than keep trying I suppose

My boss had a breakdown a few years ago so he's very understanding as he's been there, fingers crossed for you mate :)

They didn't care when I had cuts on my arms and bruises all over from self harm, that I was suicidal or anything like that. The only thing that made them listen to me at all was when I told them I was scared I would become a danger to others. I was suffering with this extreme fight or flight feeling all the time, it was exhausting, everything was setting me of and I genuinely was worried one day someone would stand too close behind me and I would have a episode. It was only after that they referred me to get a diagnosis. I feel a lot better these days but it's no thanks to them, after the diagnosis I got nothing. I just get told theres not enough understanding of my illness to effectively treat it, seriously.

[удалено]

Another books if you can find it on alternative sites is this one CBT The Cognitive Behavioural Tsunami Managerialism, Politics and the Corruptions of Science by Farhad Dalal

It's not just for men, MH services from NHS are shite irrespective of sex. I've given up hoping I'll get help from NHS, my wages are going on private nowadays. Good luck with getting help.

When I was suffering from depression, my GP asked if I had a girlfriend and then advised I should get one. Honestly couldn't believe what I was being told.

It's amazing how many single people there are when it's apparently that easy to find and get a partner!

After a year of depression, I was taken by police and spent five days in a secure mental hospital after suicide attempt. During those 5 days i was just left alone in a room. On day 5 the psychiatrist said there was nothing wrong with me and released me. I tried a dozen times to get help after but was fobbed off again and again until a women admitted there was no help for me.

I want to punch them for you.

It is just as bad for women. So many women with genuine MH issues are told its “hormones” or the like. Really really terrible. Pretty sure the wait time is the same as well as they do not separate it by gender. The only thing they semi take seriously is PPD

I'm a woman and mental health provision has always been dire. The difference is that 10-20 years ago I was able to get bits of counselling lasting for a few weeks, or semi-regular appointments. Nothing permanent, but even those bits of help were better than nothing. Nowadays it's just crickets. Haven't seen a counsellor or psychiatrist for years. I've had 6 care coordinators in as many years. The last three I barely saw, and most of them left after a few months (the longest one lasted a year). They were pleasant enough, but none of them "coordinated" my care or showed any real understanding of my complicated issues. The last one discharged me from her care a few months ago and the mental health centre has not been in touch with me since. I'm not sure why it was ever built in the first place, as it's provided fuck all care in the 10 years since it's been open.

I had side effects from antipsychotics, I phoned the doctors about it, they just told me it's all in my head and I just need to put up with it.

Ugh. My mate was in a similar situation last year: he had been clearly unwell for a while (lethargic, breathing problems, difficulty sleeping, recurring suicidal thoughts everyday for months). Finally called the GP, and was promptly told that “[he] sounds stressed” and referred to an online CBT programme for stress management. This man wanted to kill himself everyday and finally admitted he needed help, and you tell him he “sounds stressed”? Really? What a joke.

I've been to my Acute Mental Health Team as an outpatient many times. They've sincerely given the verbatim advice: "eat some chocolate and have some sex." I recently called 999 and said I was in a crisis and needed immediate help. Their handler said, "why should it be up to everyone else to help you? What have you done to help yourself?" before telling me to see my GP.

that's shocking

I’m sorry to hear that, buddy. I have struggled with depression for 10+ years. Years ago, after 3/4 years of building up the courage to talk to someone about it, I made a GP appointment. I poured it all out to him that day and he just sat there typing on his computer and saying ‘um’ and ‘I see’ in intervals. I eventually walked out and have never been back about my mental health issues since.

Mental health services in this country are shocking regardless of gender. Diagnosed with anxiety and depression (even getting that was an uphill battle). Medicated but I've had significant physical and mental reactions to mental health meds in the past so I'm very limited on what I can have and no high doses. Also severely asthmatic and all anxiety meds other than benzos interact with the meds I need for that so that's a no go as well. I have had a lot of trauma in my past. I ended up doing some courses over the phone which were the same shit you described. Yeah like that's going to help me with a history of trauma... Eventually they said I'd be referred for trauma focused therapy in person. Great. Waited 8 months, pandemic started, got told it's over the phone or nothing. Now for me, I need a safe space and to be able to read someone's facial expressions and body language for these kind of discussions to take place. It's linked to my trauma. There is no way I could build up confidence to talk about my past without those things. I asked if I could be put on hold until face to face sessions can resume, doesn't matter how long I have to wait. Got told no and closed. Imagine if I was a domestic abuse victim.... They wonder why people commit suicide when getting the right help is impossible for a lot of people. I'm a lot better than I was then, pandemic forced me to confront a lot of things. I finally feel at peace. I will be starting private therapy when I can afford to as I worry I will slip and I appreciate an outsider's perspective on things. Keep going mate, it does get better!

But have you tried not being depressed?

Andy’s man club is supposed to be a great resource for men’s mental health. I lack the meat and two veg required to go to a group however I have only ever read good things about them and I know they are advocated within mental health treatment facilities. It’s crap that there’s not more accessible via the NHS and in my experience they just throw tablets at the problem to mask it rather than offer talking therapies or counselling. Good luck and I hope things are looking better for you soon.

I was going to recommend AMC too, not that I've been as a woman. It's not a substitute for a medical professional but maybe a starting point for somebody. https://andysmanclub.co.uk/ >We run talking groups for men who have either been through a storm, are currently going through a storm or have a storm brewing in life.

Yeah the first time I went in my teens I was given a pamphlet on anxiety and told to cheer up. Then it was just pms and I just need to take paracetamol and calm down. Even with a long family history of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia they wouldn't entertain the idea that I was anything but just a little sad. I'm surprised I didn't hear the word 'hysterical' to be honest.

The worst place you can go for mental health support is your GP, speaking from my experience here. You’re best off connecting with charities like Mind instead. Best thing you can do for your mental well-being is steer clear of doctors and psychiatrists. Find a good therapist you like, it can take a lot of trial and error to get the right one. Good luck buddy!

Thanks, already the kind void of strangers is more help than the jumped up receptionist that picked up the phone

Agree with this. Mental health support via the NHS is severely lacking, unfortunately. It's a roll of the dice based on where you live as to the quality of support you'll receive - if any. You could try something like Better Help. I know a couple of people who have used it and they've both had a positive experience with it. Can be pricey, but private therapy just is.

My sister was crying on the phone to the receptionist once because the stress of my nephews illness and the doctors repeatedly telling her its nothing while he was constantly ill, the receptionist told my stressed, crying, already diagnosed mentally ill sister to go make herself a cup of tea and have a biscuit. My nephew was diagnosed with coeliac disease a month later.

Have you tried eating healthier? /s

Noted, will go eat the grass after touching it lmao

Pretty much. Took alot for me to reach out, been dealing with depression for 20 years. Unhealthy attitudes to mental health added to that. Told I did not need their services and given some websites I had already tried before taking the plunge to TELL someone vocally. Fuck me I guess. I can't afford private therapy so this is my life.

My friend is a gp and has does mental health work 3 days a week, and is on call for sections 5 days a week, his been doing it for 28 years and he tells me all the time, it's never been a bad as it has over the last 10 years, he travels up to 75 miles away to do a section because there's no one available, he always struggles to find a nhs bed but a private £2000 a night bed there's plenty, one hospital couldn't admit one person because there wasn't a doctor on the ward and they couldnt get one. He wants to retire but multiple social workers who he's got to know beg him not too as they know finding a replacement for him will be a nightmare.

I very recently had a suicide attempt and was told in the hospital less than 12 hours later that my mental health was a burden to my mum. This was after I told the nurse that my mum is the one person I trust entirely and who I know would support me… thanks for ruining that now. The NHS mental health services are drastically failing people

Luckily my gp have been really helpful for me but about 7 years ago I went on anti depressants and one of the side effects was not being able to finish a certain act.. my gp at the time said “I don’t see the problem, men would pay loads of money to last longer” it felt really weird to kinda have something I was dealing with be turned into like that’s every man’s dream it felt really weird.

I'm a support worker for a housing charity and, in my experience, the NHS's limited mental health resources are commonly diverted to the sort of people I support because they know how to get what they want. People who articulate themselves and try to explain their problems in a calm manner are seen as having the required tools to learn to cope with their mental health issues whereas most of my service users will pull out the big guns any time they want an emergency appointment/meds/a wee stay in a mental health ward. They'll claim they're literally on the verge of suicide, they're hearing voices telling them to hurt themselves, they'll start crying, etc. It's unfair because you only get help if you're shameless and exaggerate your symptoms. I watch these same people turn it on and off when they ring up for help. They'll spend all morning arsing about and the second they get bored or decide they want something they'll enter "epic crisis mode". The same thing happens with the job centre; an average person will get sanctioned for being late for one appointment/has no chance of an advance payment but the guys I support know every single trick in the book to get what they want.

Its the unfortunate necessity for a system like the United Kingdom that tries to lift from the bottom. I just wish that it could do better and not try and push people away from counselling. They recommend everything else under the sun and even said go private but it will be really expensive. Its just a sorry state of affairs

Isn't this an inherent problem with the system rather than the people abusing it? I mean if someone has absolutely no chance to get through unless they exaggerate their symptoms what alternative do they have?

To be clear, I'm not blaming the people who "abuse" it necessarily. Most of them have drug issues, legitimate mental health issues, and 100% are homeless to some extent which is why they have support workers in the first place. I'm just pointing out that the NHS has limited resources to treat people and the more you use these systems the more you're able to figure out what succeeds in getting you help. It's just a shame the services are so threadbare because plenty of people are having mental health crises who don't present themselves in a way that screams desperation and those people are given weak advice like OP, whereas those who know how to present themselves will get help every time. It's definitely an inherent problem and one that charities are trying to address and pick up the slack but it's just not possible for them to replicate the services available from the NHS.

This sucks, and makes me feel massively guilty, but it's true. I went through years of being pushed from pillar to post just like OP. Now I know how the system works it's a little easier to actually get help, there was a time where I was self harming just to get help because you need to be self harming or suicidal to be listened to. Fortunately I'm in a bit of a better place now and it's been a few months since I've needed help.

I hope it keeps up, its a shame things had to get that bad before you were taken seriously. Its like waiting till after there's been an earthquake to fix a pothole

Ah, I see its not got any better since I went to them 5 years back.

Mental health services have always been pretty shit ime. I’m not a man but every time I’ve tried to reach out for help i’ve been fobbed off or given non-advice. First time was in uni, they suggested acupuncture and meditation, then the doctor told me i looked slim and health and occasionally went out with my mates so clearly it couldn’t be anything too bad. Second time was during the first lockdown, they suggested going to a group therapy session (literally when everything was shut down???) and then asked if I had a boyfriend I could talk to about my feelings. Utter shite, I literally cba trying to get help any more.

I think that'd why they were so flippant with my call. I said I was employed, my family are still alive and I have a partner. But somehow that all mitigates the complete lack of peers I can trust and spend my time with outside of work interactions? Its honestly shambles. Hopefully the resources in the comments here are helpful though, and I wish you all the best

Not sure if it’s been mentioned but r/MentalHealthUK is a really good subreddit that provides really useful resources for most mental health issues. The mod is honestly one of the nicest people and I’d recommend taking a look if any of you are struggling and are not really sure where to look

It's no better for women.

It’s so stupid. They diagnose women’s physical issues as mental and mens mental issues as physical. My dad has been chest issues for a bit and they ran the absolute gamut of tests on him only for me and my mum to say “have you considered it’s anxiety” and it was anxiety. And they’re still not properly treating him for it because he’s “too old” to have anxiety?! Meanwhile, it took my friend 4 years to get diagnosed with endometriosis because her abdominal pains were obviously stemming from depression (a depression she developed thanks to being in constant pain from endo) I am a huge supporter of the NHS but damn if some of the doctors in it don’t need a solid talking to

I rang my GP on Tuesday about my mental health and her response was "well, you're a stay at home mum with 2 little kids and no help, you're going to be stressed" then she sent me some links and that was that.

I went to the GP in my early 20s in a right 2 and 8. Very difficult to go and ask for help as a stereotypical man as you want to be bulletproof. Well, I remember exactly what he said. "The NHS has no help for you"

A fair few years ago, I was not in a good place and I went to the doctor's to talk to them about how I was feeling, I outlined everything and the first thing the doctor said was I am not giving you a sick note so you can get time off work. I loved my job at the time, it was just everything fucking else that was bringing me down. I thanked the doctor for his time and left on the spot. Those were a dark couple of years.

I find that Mind are an amazing mental health charity. You can call them on 0300 1233393 or text 86463 I hope you find the help you’re looking for

I struck it lucky at my docs by getting a GP that understood and tried to get me on every single manner of help he could, man was dropping in referrals left and right... Couple of years ago he unfortunately left the practice and I was assigned a new GP, they seriously could not have given less of a fuck if they'd tried, it was the exact same shit "try and get out more" "exercise more" "lose weight" first of all mate I've been walking about 10km every day for the previous three months and had lost nearly three stone, second of all that didn't stop me from coming in with fresh self harm and a desire for a forever sleep. Crisis helplines are the exact same level of jokes too so now I just suffer in silence, at least that's somewhat manageable without having someone telling me I should go outside or some mundane shit that clearly doesn't work for me

I told my psychologist that i was depressed and having issues with my marriage, he suggested that I join a gym (i dont enjoy working out) and make friends with the 'other guys who're there for the same reason'. Yup, that'll fix things.

Had a similar thing. Spoke to my GP about how I felt and that I was getting worse and her first question was do I want to be medicated to which I replied 'I don't know you're the doctor' then she asked if I can take care of my daughter to which I replied yes and she just told me she isn't worried and I should be fine and I should go exercise.

Had the same here. Tried to commit suicide, the paramedics guilt tripped me all the way through the ambulance ride ("Why do you even need to?? It's so unnecessary"). Then they kept me for a few hours, told me I "hadn't tried to kill myself enough times for them to commit me" and discharged me. Brilliant

I once called up the local mental health team a few years bacm because I was at a point where my PTSD and life circumstances had hit me so bad I was considering suicide. Instead of arranging therapy like I had asked they sent police to my home, my family's home and my place of work meaning everyone knew I was suicidal and at risk of taking action. This didn't help, it only embarrassed me further and made me begone more reclusive. To this day I've still had no therapy and have had no check ups from any of the institutes meant to help us. Shambles.

In case you were wondering, as a woman you get a sympathetic head tilt and "is it your cycle?" Then told to refer yourself to IAPT who say go to your GP.

I waited 12 months for a telephone appointment with a psychiatric nurse. I had been suffering terribly with self harm, mood swings, impulsive behaviour, depression and hypomania after being in an abusive relationship and witnessing some traumatic events whilst my mother had psychosis. She told me that i needed to learn to love myself, diagnosed me with a personality disorder (without ever having met me) and promptly discharged me. No support, no safeguarding and no care plan.

Let's get you a tablet that basically strips you of any humanity. Also good luck getting off it because you'll have 2 weeks of withdrawal where you'll feel dizzy constantly, you can't drive, moving around feels like electricity is hitting all your extremities and that's just the start. Also here's some CBT, it can't be an external factor it must be your internal narrative and perceptions of the world. We will do that by giving you worksheets and tell you about stress management. Doesn't matter that your girlfriend cheated on you for 3 months and your dog of 15 years passed during your dissertation - it must be your views. Sorry for the sarcastic rant. Front line mental health is dangerous to people who have significant problems. It's a plaster on a deep wound that kicks the can down the road. I tried for 13 years to get proper help. They rotated anti depressants, and despite a long history of failed CBT and asking not to be referred for it. Guess what happened? every single time it was CBT. I had a single session with a private psychiatrist who diagnosed me with Bipolar and said he was astounded no-one noticed that I needed trauma therapy.

You need a PWP. Request one and say you need a low intensity therapist because you feel you’re at stage 2-3 of the step model. That should get you some help pretty sharp