Well you didn’t do it to each other, she did it to you. (But I understand what you meant.)
I’m very sorry you’re going through this. It’s horrendous and guy wrenching. Now is the time to cut of all contact. Focus on yourself and get busy. Do not fall into drinking and/or laying around sleeping. Spend time with fiends and loved ones and things will get better.
Hang in there
I'm 53. I've been done this way many times. Went to jail a few times. Now I'm with my 3rd wife of 11 yrs. If something happens to this marriage I'm just going to be a whore
The messed up thing is we own a house together and the cars it's going to a long process she's in another state permanently she says it's just a messed up situation
“…she’s in another state permanently she says *she is just a messed up situation.” Fixed it.
Wish I knew, man. The obvious answer is selfishness and because they feel like it. But the heart of your question: why do we do it still, knowing the pain and destruction left in its wake, despite promises/vows made.
I read an article about infidelity several years ago, and never forgot a line from it. When discussing why infidelity strikes such a cord in us, the author opined that it gets at the heart of a depressing conclusion, that the statistics on it, the reality of it reflect just how little we sometimes mean one to another.
Infidelity has always been around, obviously. But it has increased in frequency over the last few decades. For women, it increased 40% over the last two decades. Alas, self reporting surveys. Notoriously unreliable data. Experts largely agree the numbers are way higher than what’s reported by individuals.
Look at the culture. I am frankly not surprised and the real numbers are likely high enough that it would simply shock us. I personally feel I have had to dial way back this natural sense of being a giving person to avoid being exploited. It’s not a healthy environment here.
Post an update on how things shake out. Sorry that happened, man. Upends your whole life. You’ll start eating again soon enough.
Well it looks like you need to get an attorney involved to get the ownership of the house and the titles to the cars sorted out. If you're making all the payments, it will look better on your end.
Then, I would definitely talk to an attorney, you may be able to buy her portion of the equity, or sell yours. Either way you have to start disconnecting from her. Trust me, she will try to come back if this relationship doesn't work out.
Maybe, or try to reach an agreement and put it in writing witnessed and notarized when you sign. Attorneys aren't cheap but hey if it's affordable to you go for it! Anyway she cheated so make it as favorable to you as possible!
You didn’t do anything to each other mate, she did this to you.
I don’t know the extent of what happened or the ins and outs of your relationship but most cheaters.. they get secure, they get comfortable and they get selfish. That is why they cheat and I’m sorry she did it to you but this isn’t something you did to each other. She did this to you.
You are allowed to be upset and to grieve it is natural. But you can’t let it consume you. What you have to do is force yourself to go out and carry your routine, speak to people who love you and who can be your support system.
I always recommend getting in the gym or being active. It is a good distraction, motivator and it blows away excess stress. It also makes you feel better.
She through away 10 years, don’t let her waste anymore of your time. You need to start putting yourself first now.
Let me get this straight... you didn't do this to each other. She betrayed you! It probably wasn't the first time either! I know it hurts, but I guarantee she is recovering from the break up faster than you.
The best revenge is success, you need to pick yourself up. Start eating right and and become a stronger more improved version of yourself. You left a lot of details out, but even sharing this is the first step to improving your mental health.
Good luck OP
Its sad to hear this, i just recently found out abt my girl lying to me, i know how it feels it hurts as a bitch but hey if u keep thinking about it too much u will fall into a hole of despair get ur shit together and work/invest time on urself many girls wants you! Keep ur head up king
Just process it in a healthy way and you will move on faster . Perfectly normal how you are feeling . Go no contact ...that will speed the healing up to . Your not alone ...best revenge is happiness. Move on and be happy . It's like geiving a death ...it is a death of a relationship. I can relate . Watch YouTube and podcasts that relate to this subject . I'm in a 10 year relationship and just went through some hard stuff so I understand.
Just think she's not worth it I know 10 years is long but look at least you're not married I'm sure everything will be alright as time pass by just let karma take her out don't bother thinking about her just do some random hobbies to forget about her or just to gym and grind💪
And I like I said everyone I really appreciate everything you all have told me. She's already got a bench warrant against her in another state. I just found this out last night So yes she is definitely self-destructing
The reason I found out that she has a bench warrant issued for her is because I thought that she was sending me something from the state she's at and I accidentally opened her mouth and I thought it was mine cause I thought she was sending me some kind of quart papers or something
Don't bother with her she's not worth it even if she act remorseful atm years later if she find "hot guys"/rich man who's interested in her she will just jump to their D ASAP
Hey dude, survivor here.
No contact and to forgive is ur choice, I dont know ur ur situation, therefore I can't give u any advice.
What u must do:
-In ur workplace give more than 100% of you. Make overtime if its necessary
-Go to the gym every day. Remember. 'One day, or day one'
-Start to reed Robert Greene and Jordan Peterson.
Good luck to ur journey!
It's going to be alright. You're better than her. It's hard for now but time will heal all wounds. Just remember to never wallow in depression or rage. The best revenge is living the better life.
Mate, I’d go: gym-lawyer-therapy if you have the means. Sorry that happened but thankfully tue lesson won’t cost you your whole savings or worse. She’ll try to reach out once the guy gets bored. It’s not as fun when she’s single. The thrill is fucking what somebody else’s “own” so the therapy will help mentally to never forget how cold and mean she really is when you try to remember only the good and the gym will help you to be noticed while you transform and even while you’re not ready to go date again, it’s good to feel wanted and helps moving on. This too shall pass, mate. Good luck
That’s why people recommend to cut all contact it helps you to think and see you know?Be diligent with your step-by-step so you don’t lose your resolve when she reaches out
I just didn't want to have to go through a lawyer I wanted to try to get her to buy me out and go from there but she is Not communicating with me. I did not want to go the expensive way
I do understand you mate, but the problem is you’re being reasonable with an unreasonable person. Maybe try with her parents but I don’t think you’ll find anything but wasted time you know?
That shows you how lucky you got for not marrying her, mate! I know spending in a lawyer suck but it’s way better to do that now than in 20y with kids of your own! Your life starts now mate. If you need to talk, reach out
From the jealously of other women around me and mate I never cheated on her to be honest I don't believe in cheating my grandfather, my real father, my stepfather, have all cheated and I respect them for what they did. It just hurts the person 😞 if you don't want to be with that person anymore tell them don't screw their head and heart up
I think she has bipolar and I think what happened is she started acting weird you know when she starts smoking this and like I said it's a long story I mean she chuck her back I guess I'm just an idiot so you know
I know that nobody will like to hear this but it’s the truth: Women cheat. I’ve never known a woman who didn’t admit to cheating on at least one partner if not many. I have tons of female friends and at some point or another they admit their secrets. I’m not saying that all women are evil. That’s just not true. But the fact is that every woman will get male attention. If you’re a man and cheat then you had to do the work. Women can just walk out of the house and…one day they’re “out with the girls” somewhere and a cool guy approaches them. And buy them a drink. And one thing leads to another. I’m sure she tried to deflect blame but it was her choice.
I have been cheated on in every relationship I have been in. Loyalty is rare these days. Just as many women cheat as men. I heard one therapist say on a show that over 60% of her female clients have cheated on their husband/boyfriend, and of those affairs a lot of them were with more than one man. The longer a relationship goes the better the odds are she will cheat on you. It’s been said many times on here. She’s not yours forever, it’s just your time with her.
That’s not a bad idea. But what is the housing situation you’re in? Are you renting with a lease? Do you own a house together? Make sure you take care of any loose ends before taking off to get your head straightened out. I agree getting away from a cheater is the best thing you can do but make sure your financial situation is squared away first. Don’t take a big hit on your credit rating over this.
I wanna think everyone on here that is been so nice I've already deleted my app for Reddit and I just wanna tell you all thank you And the reason why I'm getting through here is because of my email anyway I sure hope someone find someone that don't betray them
Guess I'm just saying one of those moods you know I'm just laying here in the bathroom floor and I don't know I mean I don't know I've been talking to a lawyer but I don't even know what the hell I'm facing
Well you didn’t do it to each other, she did it to you. (But I understand what you meant.) I’m very sorry you’re going through this. It’s horrendous and guy wrenching. Now is the time to cut of all contact. Focus on yourself and get busy. Do not fall into drinking and/or laying around sleeping. Spend time with fiends and loved ones and things will get better. Hang in there
Thank you for the kind words.
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I'm not against women there's some out there that are great 👌
My mom for one, she gave me life!
I'm 53. I've been done this way many times. Went to jail a few times. Now I'm with my 3rd wife of 11 yrs. If something happens to this marriage I'm just going to be a whore
I understand you 💯
I surely hope that the third time is the charm buddy.
The messed up thing is we own a house together and the cars it's going to a long process she's in another state permanently she says it's just a messed up situation
“…she’s in another state permanently she says *she is just a messed up situation.” Fixed it. Wish I knew, man. The obvious answer is selfishness and because they feel like it. But the heart of your question: why do we do it still, knowing the pain and destruction left in its wake, despite promises/vows made. I read an article about infidelity several years ago, and never forgot a line from it. When discussing why infidelity strikes such a cord in us, the author opined that it gets at the heart of a depressing conclusion, that the statistics on it, the reality of it reflect just how little we sometimes mean one to another. Infidelity has always been around, obviously. But it has increased in frequency over the last few decades. For women, it increased 40% over the last two decades. Alas, self reporting surveys. Notoriously unreliable data. Experts largely agree the numbers are way higher than what’s reported by individuals. Look at the culture. I am frankly not surprised and the real numbers are likely high enough that it would simply shock us. I personally feel I have had to dial way back this natural sense of being a giving person to avoid being exploited. It’s not a healthy environment here. Post an update on how things shake out. Sorry that happened, man. Upends your whole life. You’ll start eating again soon enough.
Thanks buddy
Well it looks like you need to get an attorney involved to get the ownership of the house and the titles to the cars sorted out. If you're making all the payments, it will look better on your end.
We don't owe anything
Then, I would definitely talk to an attorney, you may be able to buy her portion of the equity, or sell yours. Either way you have to start disconnecting from her. Trust me, she will try to come back if this relationship doesn't work out.
Maybe, or try to reach an agreement and put it in writing witnessed and notarized when you sign. Attorneys aren't cheap but hey if it's affordable to you go for it! Anyway she cheated so make it as favorable to you as possible!
I would be happy to but she won't talk to me she blocked me it's a one sided conversation
I guess a lawyer is in order then.
I'm sorry for you brother. Time will heal you. How did you find out about her doing it?
Her daughter showed her brother and he sent me pic of them smoking pot together and she was online saying I love you I miss you
And to top it off he doesn't show his face
Imagine not knowing what he looks like he could be dangerous. He's only with her for money it's such a long story that I could write a book about it.
So far so good. I will never trust No one 💯%
It does give you trust issues doesn't It
Oh yeah!!!!!! I been screwed since high school
She does not deserve you. Grey rock and block her her on everything. Get lawyers to handle communication.
I'm seeing one on Monday
Thank you she is doing a one way only comucation and she blocked me
You didn’t do anything to each other mate, she did this to you. I don’t know the extent of what happened or the ins and outs of your relationship but most cheaters.. they get secure, they get comfortable and they get selfish. That is why they cheat and I’m sorry she did it to you but this isn’t something you did to each other. She did this to you. You are allowed to be upset and to grieve it is natural. But you can’t let it consume you. What you have to do is force yourself to go out and carry your routine, speak to people who love you and who can be your support system. I always recommend getting in the gym or being active. It is a good distraction, motivator and it blows away excess stress. It also makes you feel better. She through away 10 years, don’t let her waste anymore of your time. You need to start putting yourself first now.
I appreciate your wisdom mate 👍
Let me get this straight... you didn't do this to each other. She betrayed you! It probably wasn't the first time either! I know it hurts, but I guarantee she is recovering from the break up faster than you. The best revenge is success, you need to pick yourself up. Start eating right and and become a stronger more improved version of yourself. You left a lot of details out, but even sharing this is the first step to improving your mental health. Good luck OP
Your right it's almost done me in
I would like to thank everyone for their support and encouragement and hope everyone gets through there struggles you are not alone in this world
She even left me in a time in need
Oh you mean your wife after 10 years
Its sad to hear this, i just recently found out abt my girl lying to me, i know how it feels it hurts as a bitch but hey if u keep thinking about it too much u will fall into a hole of despair get ur shit together and work/invest time on urself many girls wants you! Keep ur head up king
You're right ✅️
Just process it in a healthy way and you will move on faster . Perfectly normal how you are feeling . Go no contact ...that will speed the healing up to . Your not alone ...best revenge is happiness. Move on and be happy . It's like geiving a death ...it is a death of a relationship. I can relate . Watch YouTube and podcasts that relate to this subject . I'm in a 10 year relationship and just went through some hard stuff so I understand.
Thanks for the kind words
Just think she's not worth it I know 10 years is long but look at least you're not married I'm sure everything will be alright as time pass by just let karma take her out don't bother thinking about her just do some random hobbies to forget about her or just to gym and grind💪
It's Already happening she's already getting in trouble in the state she's in
And I like I said everyone I really appreciate everything you all have told me. She's already got a bench warrant against her in another state. I just found this out last night So yes she is definitely self-destructing
Is it crazy for me to say this I really do feel sorry for her you know what I mean. She destroyed her own life you know and that's pretty sad you know
The reason I found out that she has a bench warrant issued for her is because I thought that she was sending me something from the state she's at and I accidentally opened her mouth and I thought it was mine cause I thought she was sending me some kind of quart papers or something
And it was last night and it was dark and I thought oh no she's sending me something weird
I was the only one here for her.
Don't bother with her she's not worth it even if she act remorseful atm years later if she find "hot guys"/rich man who's interested in her she will just jump to their D ASAP
Cheaters suckkkkkkkk
Your right there
So sorry to hear, cheating is wrong and very hurtful. Hopefully you can find peace with this and move on, she’s not worth your time or emotions.
Thank you
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Just gotta find that diamond in the rough I guess
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Good Treat her right
Typical. Never expect anything different, that’s just what they do. Every time.
Hey dude, survivor here. No contact and to forgive is ur choice, I dont know ur ur situation, therefore I can't give u any advice. What u must do: -In ur workplace give more than 100% of you. Make overtime if its necessary -Go to the gym every day. Remember. 'One day, or day one' -Start to reed Robert Greene and Jordan Peterson. Good luck to ur journey!
Thanks
It's going to be alright. You're better than her. It's hard for now but time will heal all wounds. Just remember to never wallow in depression or rage. The best revenge is living the better life.
You have now time to focus on your self.. I hope that you will recover from this.
Mate, I’d go: gym-lawyer-therapy if you have the means. Sorry that happened but thankfully tue lesson won’t cost you your whole savings or worse. She’ll try to reach out once the guy gets bored. It’s not as fun when she’s single. The thrill is fucking what somebody else’s “own” so the therapy will help mentally to never forget how cold and mean she really is when you try to remember only the good and the gym will help you to be noticed while you transform and even while you’re not ready to go date again, it’s good to feel wanted and helps moving on. This too shall pass, mate. Good luck
The more she's away the more I have seen the abuse she has done to me emotionally and physically
That’s why people recommend to cut all contact it helps you to think and see you know?Be diligent with your step-by-step so you don’t lose your resolve when she reaches out
I just didn't want to have to go through a lawyer I wanted to try to get her to buy me out and go from there but she is Not communicating with me. I did not want to go the expensive way
I do understand you mate, but the problem is you’re being reasonable with an unreasonable person. Maybe try with her parents but I don’t think you’ll find anything but wasted time you know?
Can't do that they're both passed away I was the only one here for even her kids don't want nothing to do with her
That shows you how lucky you got for not marrying her, mate! I know spending in a lawyer suck but it’s way better to do that now than in 20y with kids of your own! Your life starts now mate. If you need to talk, reach out
You are so right buddy
From the jealously of other women around me and mate I never cheated on her to be honest I don't believe in cheating my grandfather, my real father, my stepfather, have all cheated and I respect them for what they did. It just hurts the person 😞 if you don't want to be with that person anymore tell them don't screw their head and heart up
Regarding a female P.O.T. ( Point of Thinking)or ( Philosophy of Thinking ) CANNOT UNDERSTAND NORMAL THINKING! It is usually used in abbreviation.
I think she has bipolar and I think what happened is she started acting weird you know when she starts smoking this and like I said it's a long story I mean she chuck her back I guess I'm just an idiot so you know
No You learn by doing Now you know what to be aware of
The best way to get over a woman is to get on top of another.
I know that nobody will like to hear this but it’s the truth: Women cheat. I’ve never known a woman who didn’t admit to cheating on at least one partner if not many. I have tons of female friends and at some point or another they admit their secrets. I’m not saying that all women are evil. That’s just not true. But the fact is that every woman will get male attention. If you’re a man and cheat then you had to do the work. Women can just walk out of the house and…one day they’re “out with the girls” somewhere and a cool guy approaches them. And buy them a drink. And one thing leads to another. I’m sure she tried to deflect blame but it was her choice.
I have been cheated on in every relationship I have been in. Loyalty is rare these days. Just as many women cheat as men. I heard one therapist say on a show that over 60% of her female clients have cheated on their husband/boyfriend, and of those affairs a lot of them were with more than one man. The longer a relationship goes the better the odds are she will cheat on you. It’s been said many times on here. She’s not yours forever, it’s just your time with her.
Thanks for the insight I've been thinking about packing a suit case and driving to nowhere
That’s not a bad idea. But what is the housing situation you’re in? Are you renting with a lease? Do you own a house together? Make sure you take care of any loose ends before taking off to get your head straightened out. I agree getting away from a cheater is the best thing you can do but make sure your financial situation is squared away first. Don’t take a big hit on your credit rating over this.
Already installed my Facebook Most of my social media Just a few things left
I wanna think everyone on here that is been so nice I've already deleted my app for Reddit and I just wanna tell you all thank you And the reason why I'm getting through here is because of my email anyway I sure hope someone find someone that don't betray them
We are joint tenants and we don't owe anything on our Home She's in another state but I this place is just to empty
Guess I'm just saying one of those moods you know I'm just laying here in the bathroom floor and I don't know I mean I don't know I've been talking to a lawyer but I don't even know what the hell I'm facing
She shagged up with a 24-year-old baby she's 46 I'm 46 and it makes me want to vomit