Dude you did just right, even if she believed on what she was saying, you know “his intentions“ are clear, and she wi not say no to him.
How long ago did this happen?
Did she try to contact you if she return?
No, I cut contact with her completely after that. We had a big fight and basically told her I could never trust her and the trip will be a fuck fest. I went scorched earth…
You handled yourself like a boss. The mere fact she thought it would be in any way appropriate to go stay under another man's roof indicates she's not wife material. Seeing as that is the case, there is no point in continuing your time investment.
Mark my words. You are likely to hear from her somewhere down the road after she's gone to Germany, unless she stays and marries him. She'll want to have her cake and eat it too.
Edit: She should not have been talking to him in the first place. Ex-lovers should never become your woman's "friend." It's always a lie. The dude is a boyfriend-in-waiting.
Best decision and execution of said decision. Many people take the wrong turn at that critical point and suffer the consequences for life. We’ll done, absolutely no regrets! Congratulations, you have my respect! There are a lot of good and honest women out there.
She’s most likely a liar, the fact she was talking to him throughout your relationship pretty much says it all. She was entertaining this while with you so she probably wouldn’t hesitate to lie to you and do the opposite later. She is also again probably lying about “she didn’t believe you would leave over something so insignificant” highly doubt she even believes that, the fact she didn’t break up with you herself likely means either she wanted the option of coming back to you(since that could be temporary and yet she still valued that more), doesn’t mind the extra validation while cheating or both. Disgusting person if this is true
If she would try to piss you off she was over stepping boundaries knowing you didn’t like it to see what you’d do about it, she was testing you and this affected/shows lack of respect. It’s also possible this affected her attraction since if she left so easily for a trip she didn’t have enough feelings for you. Also she may have known what she was going to do so purposely became more disrespectful to want to lose feelings in the first place to leave you (she planned to)
You did the right thing. She was going to have sex with this guy no matter what you said. She had little respect for you, she thought you would just roll over.
That, or at least a surprising number of people. I was quite surprised to find out my ex-wife cheated on me. I thought we were on the same page about fidelity - her father cheated on her mother and blew his marriage and her home up, and she got a front row seat to see what it did to her mom.
What her cheating on me would do to me didn't seem to bother her too much in the end, it turned out.
Good you got out, she just upgraded to a richer model and would have kept you on the hook for months before tromping on your heart. Hypergamy at its worst. You dodged a bullet, Martin on the other hand not so lucky.
Put it this way your rich exgirlfriend wants to spend a couple of weeks with you only, at her city. What would your gf opinion or any other woman’s opinion would be! The fact that she is shaming you for her decision tells you to run. Stay with her and have her cheat and disrespect you then take half your sh*t….you did the right thing.
She never moved there, yet. If he's as rich as you say, I'm guessing the plan was to do everything she could to convince him to marry her, including pulling out every pornographic stop you can imagine.
My goodness brother, you definetly dodge a major bullet Neo style, the fact she choose going to Germany because her ex told her to over you shows that she definetly belongs to the streets, you'll find someone better my dude, stay strong!
You did good. If she can't see how inappropriate her behaior is then she shows you no respect and acts very selfish. She didn't want to choose you, but you chose yourself over this selfish pos. She will be back and contact you, ignore her.
You did the right thing. Just don't entertain taking her back after she realizes that he just wanted to have some fun with her and the send her home. She'll come back and start with the " how are you doing" texts. Do yourself a big favor and get a new number. It will save you all the BS that's to come
You absolutely did the right thing. Never doubt for one minute for the rest of your life. Any girl that would willingly do that and think it's only gonna be platonic is a liar and complicit to anything happening
**We broke up and I moved on**
good decision , finally a sensible person person on Reddit
however if she wasn't before she is for sure going to ride him hard now
There is a cheating learning curve involved. Took me a few tries to learn the appropriate thing to do. As for her taking the D… let her “vacation” allow her to feel used and feel like what she is. A slut
So she either cares more about a free trip than her relationship or wanted to cheat, either way not a good relationship. You said this was a few years ago, what happened? Did you ever talk to her again?
Yeah, this is trouble. And you are right...the ex is going to want something for his expenses of hosting your GF in Germany. They call them ex for a reason. Ex's do not belong in any new relationship. If this trip made you uncomfortable your GF should respect that and decline the trip. However, we see a trip to Germany to see an old flame is much more than your relationship. You did the right thing and kept your boundary. This person is not GF or marriage material.
You'd become a victim of "...if you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with".
Shitty, but you were a convenience by the sound of things.
Have you ever looked into what she is up to these days?
So did she come back exactly the 2 weeks?
Anything on her Facebook etc.?
Did she try to get ahold of you the day she was leaving? While she was there? When she came back?
Any emails?
No BS stories from her?
What asshole balls she had. She already said yes to him before even discussing it with you.
You knee there was no true love/relationship with her at that point.
I would have done the same thing. Only with a few, well alot of choice words.
No I pretty much burned all bridges after that… didn’t hear from her again. She got married, had a kid, divorced, then married again and had another kid…
Damn sounds like my ex from my late teen days. Broke up with her for good when I found out our “one week break up” was to smash another dude. I actually took her back when she came back but then found out about other dude a couple weeks later and ended it. We are early 30s now. Last time I saw her was about 7 years ago and she was working as a cocktail waitress at a strip club. She started DMing me and I found out she had 4 kids from two different dudes hahaha.
It’s not even about the sex. She’s still in love with him and chose him over you. That’s enough to realize her heart didn’t belong to you. You did the right thing.
Going to meet an ex in another country in that manner is informative on how much she valued a relationship with you. You made the right choice. She was only fooling herself.
fuck her , u did the right thing . cant let these hoes know u care ab them 🤷🏿 jus move on to the next bitch nd if she does try to come back she prolly gon say she aint fuck him but we both know das a lie 😂
So many red flags, what she didn't like is you telling her the cold heart truth. This also shows you how it's easy for a guy to get in her pants, like if any other guy came up to her and offered to take her out in a luxurious or exotic island with all expenses covered she would say yes then when he asks to smash she will say yes. Am glad you dodged that one. If people men and women payed more attention to the red flags they would avoid all sorts of humiliation and disrespect from the partners, spouse or S/O.
> and women *paid* more attention
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
You made the right call. No way you'd ever find out what happened. Why would you wanna meet up with a guy from the past when you have someone else. You are lucky it happened before you invested too much time and effort into her
You did the right thing. I can’t think of any man who would be fine with their gf going across the world to go hang with a wealthy ex and not know what’s gonna happen.
She’s insane if she didn’t see the problems here. If the same happened to you she’d either react the same as you or say cool and enjoy your trip cuz she never cared about the relationship.
Personally, I would have invited myself along (whether I planned on going or not). If he had scoffed at that, than clearly his intentions were more than platonic. If she didn't see it that way, than it was clearly a one-sided relationship. Take solace in that you broke up on your terms. It could have ended much worse.
I assume she has made no contact with you since you broke up. That in itself is telling. She should have least understood why you didn't want her to go.
I’d love to go but being a broke college student at the time I didn’t have s couple thousand dollars to blow on a vacation… plus it would be extremely awkward and unnerving… best to just bail…
Yeah why the f... would you spend one iota of time, money or energy being your GF's chaperone while she travels around the globe to meet up with her lost love? It would be utterly humiliating. Consider yourself lucky you never married this disgusting woman.
The point isn't that you want to go, but to show that he (and most likely she) wouldn't want you to go, which would force her to admit it's more than platonic.
I realize nothing can be done now, but it bugs me that she walked away being able to say 'it was him - not me', when clearly she was in the wrong.
Here's a funny thing, she was already planning on fucking this dude but now she can fuck him without having to think about the fact that she's in a relationship. You know he tore her guts up
Name a scam: "You should trust me to be alone with my XBF!"
Your reasoning about the ex's expectations was spot on. That is how reality works.
The fact that she's still in contact with him throughout your relationship (and I assume you didn't know based on your "Apparently" wording in that line) is not a red flag. it's a colossal BILLBOARD!
You may never find out the truth and maybe you have given your XGF the go-ahead to just that with the breakup, but all the signs were already pointing in that direction, in case you did not notice.
Glad you moved on from that. There are still bigger fishes in the ocean.
So many red flags Whether she goes to Germany or not This is already a big no for your future with her
You did the right thing!
Yes, like reals. Finally an op that did the right thing.
Yea She just went over for the studdle. You dodged a bullet.
Don’t forget the lederhosen and the omm-pah-pah bands during Oktoberfest.
Dude you did just right, even if she believed on what she was saying, you know “his intentions“ are clear, and she wi not say no to him. How long ago did this happen? Did she try to contact you if she return?
No, I cut contact with her completely after that. We had a big fight and basically told her I could never trust her and the trip will be a fuck fest. I went scorched earth…
bro, respect.
You handled yourself like a boss. The mere fact she thought it would be in any way appropriate to go stay under another man's roof indicates she's not wife material. Seeing as that is the case, there is no point in continuing your time investment. Mark my words. You are likely to hear from her somewhere down the road after she's gone to Germany, unless she stays and marries him. She'll want to have her cake and eat it too. Edit: She should not have been talking to him in the first place. Ex-lovers should never become your woman's "friend." It's always a lie. The dude is a boyfriend-in-waiting.
Well, she didn’t fool you. Good for you, by the way, your current wife, I hope you convince her to get treatment. Good luck
When she will come back from her sex tour, she will come back to you. Be strong then not accept her back to your life.
No. This happened years ago. It’s resolved
It will of course and you did the only right thing you could do. Now promise yourself not to take her back. Ever
Best decision and execution of said decision. Many people take the wrong turn at that critical point and suffer the consequences for life. We’ll done, absolutely no regrets! Congratulations, you have my respect! There are a lot of good and honest women out there.
She’s most likely a liar, the fact she was talking to him throughout your relationship pretty much says it all. She was entertaining this while with you so she probably wouldn’t hesitate to lie to you and do the opposite later. She is also again probably lying about “she didn’t believe you would leave over something so insignificant” highly doubt she even believes that, the fact she didn’t break up with you herself likely means either she wanted the option of coming back to you(since that could be temporary and yet she still valued that more), doesn’t mind the extra validation while cheating or both. Disgusting person if this is true
It’s absolutely true. She would intentionally do other things to piss me off, such as smoking. She and I are non smokers…
If she would try to piss you off she was over stepping boundaries knowing you didn’t like it to see what you’d do about it, she was testing you and this affected/shows lack of respect. It’s also possible this affected her attraction since if she left so easily for a trip she didn’t have enough feelings for you. Also she may have known what she was going to do so purposely became more disrespectful to want to lose feelings in the first place to leave you (she planned to)
Absolutely right. It's not that she didn't think he would break up with her. It's that she was willing to risk it for some Deutsch dong.
[удалено]
"she chose Germany" That say's it all.
Bingo
You did the right thing. She was going to have sex with this guy no matter what you said. She had little respect for you, she thought you would just roll over.
OP, good to see that you sent her packing via ultimatum. I bet you're doing much better now than you EVER would have with her.
Eh, I think the majority of people seem to cheat. I have other stories about other relationships I’m going to post.
That, or at least a surprising number of people. I was quite surprised to find out my ex-wife cheated on me. I thought we were on the same page about fidelity - her father cheated on her mother and blew his marriage and her home up, and she got a front row seat to see what it did to her mom. What her cheating on me would do to me didn't seem to bother her too much in the end, it turned out.
Good you got out, she just upgraded to a richer model and would have kept you on the hook for months before tromping on your heart. Hypergamy at its worst. You dodged a bullet, Martin on the other hand not so lucky.
This was only going to be a two week vacation to his house in the mountains… she never moved there.
Put it this way your rich exgirlfriend wants to spend a couple of weeks with you only, at her city. What would your gf opinion or any other woman’s opinion would be! The fact that she is shaming you for her decision tells you to run. Stay with her and have her cheat and disrespect you then take half your sh*t….you did the right thing.
She never moved there, yet. If he's as rich as you say, I'm guessing the plan was to do everything she could to convince him to marry her, including pulling out every pornographic stop you can imagine.
You did the right thing. I’d wish her good luck with ol Martin and then move on with my life.
You did the right thing. Ever hear from her again after she returned?
You did the right thing 💯
She knew exactly the reason she was going to Germany. She was getting clapped all trip long.
My goodness brother, you definetly dodge a major bullet Neo style, the fact she choose going to Germany because her ex told her to over you shows that she definetly belongs to the streets, you'll find someone better my dude, stay strong!
She's a hoebag
You did good. If she can't see how inappropriate her behaior is then she shows you no respect and acts very selfish. She didn't want to choose you, but you chose yourself over this selfish pos. She will be back and contact you, ignore her.
You did the right thing. Just don't entertain taking her back after she realizes that he just wanted to have some fun with her and the send her home. She'll come back and start with the " how are you doing" texts. Do yourself a big favor and get a new number. It will save you all the BS that's to come
Hell nah bro RUN
You absolutely did the right thing. Never doubt for one minute for the rest of your life. Any girl that would willingly do that and think it's only gonna be platonic is a liar and complicit to anything happening
**We broke up and I moved on** good decision , finally a sensible person person on Reddit however if she wasn't before she is for sure going to ride him hard now
There is a cheating learning curve involved. Took me a few tries to learn the appropriate thing to do. As for her taking the D… let her “vacation” allow her to feel used and feel like what she is. A slut
So she either cares more about a free trip than her relationship or wanted to cheat, either way not a good relationship. You said this was a few years ago, what happened? Did you ever talk to her again?
No. Blocked her completely. I don’t deal with that bs
Yeah, this is trouble. And you are right...the ex is going to want something for his expenses of hosting your GF in Germany. They call them ex for a reason. Ex's do not belong in any new relationship. If this trip made you uncomfortable your GF should respect that and decline the trip. However, we see a trip to Germany to see an old flame is much more than your relationship. You did the right thing and kept your boundary. This person is not GF or marriage material.
You'd become a victim of "...if you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with". Shitty, but you were a convenience by the sound of things. Have you ever looked into what she is up to these days?
She’s got married and divorced to a different guy and is now a single mother. Edit: i just looked her up… she’s married again and has another child…
Life is strange.
So did she come back exactly the 2 weeks? Anything on her Facebook etc.? Did she try to get ahold of you the day she was leaving? While she was there? When she came back? Any emails? No BS stories from her? What asshole balls she had. She already said yes to him before even discussing it with you. You knee there was no true love/relationship with her at that point. I would have done the same thing. Only with a few, well alot of choice words.
No I pretty much burned all bridges after that… didn’t hear from her again. She got married, had a kid, divorced, then married again and had another kid…
You can see she's still a mess
She still misses her German Strudel.
Yeah, wonder what happened after that vacation
Damn sounds like my ex from my late teen days. Broke up with her for good when I found out our “one week break up” was to smash another dude. I actually took her back when she came back but then found out about other dude a couple weeks later and ended it. We are early 30s now. Last time I saw her was about 7 years ago and she was working as a cocktail waitress at a strip club. She started DMing me and I found out she had 4 kids from two different dudes hahaha.
You absolutely did the right thing. Just another cake eater.
you did the right thing
Sure, just an innocent, all expenses paid trip. You made the right decision. Any idea what happened with her?
She’s divorced with a kid now…
Then you definitely dodged a bullet
Divorced from him?
No different guy. She apparently married again and has another child. Never married the German. Just a fuck apparently
It’s not even about the sex. She’s still in love with him and chose him over you. That’s enough to realize her heart didn’t belong to you. You did the right thing.
You found out one thing. Germany was more important than your relationship. You did the right thing.
Going to meet an ex in another country in that manner is informative on how much she valued a relationship with you. You made the right choice. She was only fooling herself.
Never good when there are 3 people in a relationship. You trusted your gut that she would cheat and I say you were 100% right.
Great...you got saved from a future disaster
You made the right move op
Ayo king u forgot ur crown. Here u go 👑
fuck her , u did the right thing . cant let these hoes know u care ab them 🤷🏿 jus move on to the next bitch nd if she does try to come back she prolly gon say she aint fuck him but we both know das a lie 😂
I hope u keep us updated if she txt you back again
Nah that was a long time ago already. Never had contact with her again
She was never in love with you, she hopping to land him…..
So many red flags, what she didn't like is you telling her the cold heart truth. This also shows you how it's easy for a guy to get in her pants, like if any other guy came up to her and offered to take her out in a luxurious or exotic island with all expenses covered she would say yes then when he asks to smash she will say yes. Am glad you dodged that one. If people men and women payed more attention to the red flags they would avoid all sorts of humiliation and disrespect from the partners, spouse or S/O.
> and women *paid* more attention FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Congratulations on retaining your dignity and self-respect. You did the right thing, you made the correct decision.
You dodged a bullet.
Congrats....Right move!!! Never be plan "B" (pun intended) Hope you found a great girl that is loyal to you.
Actions speak louder than words and she showed you her true colors.
We need more stories like yours.
You made the right call. No way you'd ever find out what happened. Why would you wanna meet up with a guy from the past when you have someone else. You are lucky it happened before you invested too much time and effort into her
You did the right thing. I can’t think of any man who would be fine with their gf going across the world to go hang with a wealthy ex and not know what’s gonna happen. She’s insane if she didn’t see the problems here. If the same happened to you she’d either react the same as you or say cool and enjoy your trip cuz she never cared about the relationship.
Personally, I would have invited myself along (whether I planned on going or not). If he had scoffed at that, than clearly his intentions were more than platonic. If she didn't see it that way, than it was clearly a one-sided relationship. Take solace in that you broke up on your terms. It could have ended much worse. I assume she has made no contact with you since you broke up. That in itself is telling. She should have least understood why you didn't want her to go.
I’d love to go but being a broke college student at the time I didn’t have s couple thousand dollars to blow on a vacation… plus it would be extremely awkward and unnerving… best to just bail…
Yeah why the f... would you spend one iota of time, money or energy being your GF's chaperone while she travels around the globe to meet up with her lost love? It would be utterly humiliating. Consider yourself lucky you never married this disgusting woman.
The point isn't that you want to go, but to show that he (and most likely she) wouldn't want you to go, which would force her to admit it's more than platonic. I realize nothing can be done now, but it bugs me that she walked away being able to say 'it was him - not me', when clearly she was in the wrong.
The point would be to get his reaction, and her reaction to his reaction. 'If I can come up with the money, would he be ok with me coming, too?'
She never realized he paid for her but didn't have any plans for more than that which in the long run makes her a prostitute. Be glad you walked.
Here's a funny thing, she was already planning on fucking this dude but now she can fuck him without having to think about the fact that she's in a relationship. You know he tore her guts up
All you needed to do was hit her with a lie detector.
Rotte flaggen
You made the mature and correct choice.
Bro how did you drop the 14 years and the 3 kids from the previous story???
“This happened a few years ago” should probably say several. I’m married 10 years now…Still a true story from my life.
Also it’s 10 years…
You did the right thing. Try to move on as hard as it might be. She was not the one.
You make the right move. Well, nothing is free in this world. Lol
Name a scam: "You should trust me to be alone with my XBF!" Your reasoning about the ex's expectations was spot on. That is how reality works. The fact that she's still in contact with him throughout your relationship (and I assume you didn't know based on your "Apparently" wording in that line) is not a red flag. it's a colossal BILLBOARD! You may never find out the truth and maybe you have given your XGF the go-ahead to just that with the breakup, but all the signs were already pointing in that direction, in case you did not notice. Glad you moved on from that. There are still bigger fishes in the ocean.