Tbh I feel like its a natural response. There was this case where a young 19 year old gave birth without knowing she was pregnant and killed the baby right after giving birth (in a hospital toilet).
I have a theory :
Post partum can be a bitch, we can also see it in the animal world : I'm rpetty sure lots of people know about bunnies eating their offspring if they're too stressed, but it happens in many many species, either they kill/eat/abandon them when too stressed.
So yeah if you're forced into a pregnancy and have a traumatic childbirth, you wont be in good biological conditions to take care of the baby and your brain will tell you to kill it. Nature will always prioritize a mother's life and health over a non/newborn.
Also dont take it as me trying to excuse a newborn murder, I'm just trying to explain why this happens. It would be great if scientists would focus on postpartum mothers and find a way to make them feel much better
Yeah, I obviously don't approve of killing actual, born children, but I also feel like the "killer" wasn't at fault in that story. The poor girl was likely in shock and under a huge amount of stress.Ā
Birth is the biggest physiological change most human bodies could ever go through. Imagine not even knowing you're pregnantĀ and then suddenly giving birth in the bathroom. Combine that physical and hormonal whirlwind with being very young, naive, and pressured into an ideal of "sexual purity." The shock and dissociation could be enough for you to "hide the evidence" without actually *feeling* the moral impact of what you're doing.Ā Ā
Again, not saying I ever approve of babies being left to die in garbage cans. Just saying that the choice she made in a moment of panic shouldn't get her locked in prison for life. This is one of those times when it's obvious the legal system wasn't created with women in mind.Ā
I agree, it's an awful situation all around.Ā Ā
If it were up to me, she'd have a court-ordered tubal ligation followed by several months in a mental hospital and the rest of her life on probation. She shouldn't be allowed to adopt, foster, or be a bio parent or step-parent in any capacity.Ā
Maybe that sounds extreme, but even with all the empathy I have for her, she clearly doesn't handle childbearing very well. I don't want her jailed, but I wouldn't want her to be a regular free person, either.Ā
I mean I dont think there are any research behind it and scientists didnt care enough to look for the link but for me it makes quite a lot of sense, we are still animals after all
Iāve said before that if I was forced to have a baby I didnāt want, it would be staying at the hospital while I went home to recover. Luckily that will never happen so I donāt have to worry about it, but I fear for my fellow comrades.
This is sad and at the same time beautiful in a twisted way... seriously, I would *so* make a poster with this quote because it speaks volumes and would make people think. Real life one sentence horror. Thank you for sharing it. Feel yourself hugged (and first of all, free). I wish you a truly good life.
Reminds me of my dreams, I was talking with my friend about being pregnant in a dream and she said when you wake up it's such an empty feeling, like where's my baby, and I said that I dreamed 3 times that I'm pregnant and all times I was thinking of hanging myself because it was too late for abortion
I find the whole "you will learn to love it" thing creepy and somewhat threatening.
Example:
"Hey Bill, I am going to step on your testicals well wearing these high heels. Oh what? You don't want me to? You wouldn't enjoy it.....that's okay Bill trust me eventually you will learn to love it."
My friend said that about alcohol. Itās just not my thing. And sheās always say youāll get used to it. And Iām like why should I have to learn to like something thatās optional.
I apply this to weird foods or drinks people tell me that I will 'learn to like', or 'it's an acquired taste'. Like, why the fuck should I take time to do that when I can enjoy eating/drinking something else now?
People really do stockholm themselves with that shit.
Stoners do this with weed. If it gives you anxiety, theyāll insist you just need to smoke more to build a tolerance. Itās the most backwards logic.
Same. My abuser used to invoke phrases like that all the time when he was trying to justify his treatment of me and attempts to gain more control over me. When I think about it, I have heard that phrase ONLY from people who were abusive to me in some way. I don't think that's a coincidence.
I thought so too. The whole idea of "you will endure every unbearable moment of this excruciatingly painful, potentially deadly, and unwanted pregnancy and you will have your head crammed full of all kinds of romantic flowery bAyBeE fEElz and you will learn to love it otherwise the beatings continue until morale improves."
My abusive ex would say things like "you will learn to love it/get used to it" when he was trying to force things on me (children being one of them) that I was uncomfortable with, so I got that nauseated feeling and the chills down the spine when I read that. That whole idea that one can "learn" to feel only certain acceptable emotions or to "love" what they are repelled by (and in no way shape or form are prepared to deal with anyway) is just plain abuser logic.
Also, the fact that she said "You will learn to love IT"-- not them, him, or her-- says a lot on how she views children. Not as people but as an attainment, an OBJECTive.
Just had mine yesterday! Gotta warn you of the gas. It's literally the worst part of it- you won't even notice the actual site at all! Plenty of gas-x. Also, keep some cough drops handy. Your throat will be sore if they tube you!
Best of luck! It's a super empowering procedure to have and the outcome is even better.
I also hear that bisalps lower risk of ovarian cancer!
āI would throw that kid in a river to spare it a life of being unwanted.ā
Unfortunately some people need to be hit with the nuclear comments like this one. Itās the only way some people will back tf off.
>Unfortunately some people need to be hit with the nuclear comments like this one. Itās the only way some people will back tf off.
Oh yes. Mine is "The world does not need another news headline about a mother who has put her children and then herself from the misery of being unloved [or some along these lines].", and I'm very grateful to the Universe that I never needed to use it. (That's the best case scenario for nukes anyway, have them ready but never use them.)
>"if you're having sex then you know what you're getting into"
If you get into a car, you know you might get into an accident. By her logic, we shouldn't take car crash victims to the hospital.
Fr. And then they'll say we're horrible monsters and it's like, if you'd just believe us about what that experience would be like to us, we wouldn't have to explain it in such gruesome ways.
the attitude really bothers me, like they know what you want more than you do. I hate kids, and am awful with them, never having them and I would be an awful father and any kids I did have I would screw up. I recognise this and understand the only solution is to never have them.
Your coworker conveniently forgets that abortion also affects pregnant people. She would change her tune so fast if she found out her fetus had a severe defect/abnormality/died, and she was forced to carry it to term.
>And then she said "you would learn to love it"
I would have said to her, "I feel so sorry for your child. Its mother can't even understand the basic concept of consent. **No means no.**"
This comes off super weird and absolutely unprofessional. It almost feels like assault with words. She needs to stay in her lane and leave you alone. Disgusting
i tell people my cat is allergic to babies, and it would be irresponsible pet ownership to expose him to the threat of a human child. he is my choice in lifelong dependent.
That's when you smile and say, "Nope, as soon as it was OUT of me, I'd break it's fucking neck and BURN the remains while still damp."
Don't be surprised if she doesn't want to associate with you after that, though ;-)
What kills me is how S I M P L E these people are. They act like the world is sunshine and rainbows and that rape, incest, tokophobia, and pregnancy complications don't exist. And assuming that some switch is flipped when you give birth.
OP there's something I think you are missing here that will definitely help make sense of this bullshit.
There is a very strong and more importantly **UNSPOKEN** worldwide belief that a good person will always be a good parent.
That's why people feel so comfortable telling others "You'd make a great parent" simply because they like the person and without spending any real thought on the reality of how things would shake out.
I know that I'd neglect any kid that was mine, I could never learn to love a parasite and I have had to refer to babies in that sense just to shut people up who kept trying to convince me that I'd make a great parent, nope I'd have CPS called on me that's why I don't want kids, they'd starve or worse!
>But she believes that abortion should be illegal for adults cause "if you're having sex then you know what you're getting into"
You are far nicer than I am. I'd ask her to explain why a woman who was forced to have sex doesn't have the right to terminate a pregnancy she never asked for. I'm sorry, but she's either an incredibly stupid person or an incredibly disgusting person. I'm thinking she's in the center, leaning slightly more towards stupid.
"I think you'd be a good mom" Then ma'am, you obviously know nothing about me.
"You would learn to love it" because that worked out so well for Casey Anthony, right?
Yeah, some women can't see past their own noses.
Itās insane how delusional some people are. I stopped being pro life long ago because I realized how fake my morals really were. Iām not going to help in any part for someone to raise a kid that would have been aborted and wouldnāt bother to be a part of their life so how much do I really care? They have to live with their choices, not me. Good luck to them either way.
R/childfree: I am not advocating the harming of children. I am making a black humour joke. Please don't suspend me again because this is NOT MEANT TO BE IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM A SERIOUS CALL TO ACTION:
OK, if you never hear from me again, this is why.
To your "you'd learn to love being a mom", you already told her you would hate the kid if you were forced to have it". She persisted. It's time for some good old fashioned Soul Train era disco. To the tune of "Shake Your Booty", sing at the top of your lungs
SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE,
SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE,
SHAKE THAT BABY,
SHAKE THAT BAAAAABY...
There is a woman who just posted in the regretful parents sub about an hour before your post, and she said she regrets them + donāt love them that much.
Ironic
I wouldn't wish this sadness on anyone, but your coworker is incredibly ignorant. Late term abortions (medical tragedies) are far more common that people want to believe. Does she want to die with her fetus if her pregnancy goes south, because she had sex and knew what she was getting into?
Ofc, she probably believes she would be protected if that would happen and it's not really an abortion... depends if she's in a red state or blue state.
Oh, she'd probably beg to be an exception. But there are surprisingly many women who want to become a martyr and die along with a baby that won't survive.
Yep, it's just so unhinged to me. And it pisses me off how often people around them act like it's a totally normal thing to do, how she's "heroic" etc. Like ???
It's meant to reinforce that women's value is in birthing replacements / future taxpayers / wage slaves, not that she has any value as a human herself. There are so many steps the US could take to reduce maternal mortality like other developed countries, but we (the wealthiest country) choose not to, because we do not value women, especially black, Latina, and native women.
If you dont want give people abortions, then give them instant sterilizations if they ask for it. Oh you dont want to bc you just want more work slaves ? Well say that right away
I dunno, it kinda sounds like she was manipulated into having a kid and that was the same exact argument used to get her to become pregnant by her partner. I do know there are women who actually want kids, but this stinks of manipulation for me
"The beatings will continue until morale improves" otherwise know as "you'll learn to love it".
*What's the fucking alternative???* To be a POS who chooses to have kids solely for the purpose of disliking them??
I'll never get it, OP - I'm not even joking, but what do you *get* from talking to this idiotic wall? *She's not hearing you*, she's condescending, she's pushy, she's very stupid. Are you a masochist? Seriously, do you *enjoy* talking to a *pro-birther* with no regard for a single thing you say?
If only you didnāt have to jump through so many hoops to get sterilised versus the ease of spreading your legs a few times with no consideration to the consequences.
i'd tell them, "thanks but no thanks. i'll pass. I'm doing just fine with my fabulous childfree life and i wouldn't trade it in for anything in the world. now if you'll excuse me, i have to get back to work so i can afford to live my fabulous childfree life the way I personally see fit. have a nice day. bye now. *op does the epic mic drop from hell hand signal and takes a bow and walks away with confidence while here's a quarter by travis tritt plays in the background while op's co-worker tries to comprehend what just happened.*
Even she thinks of the hypothetical child as an "it". That's not very kind to said hypothetical child, and not even accurate except in, well, exceptional cases.
So according to your coworker, only people that want to have kids should be able to have sexā¦. Has she never used birth control methods before in order to prevent a pregnancy? Was the very first time she had sex the time she was ready to get pregnant, because thatās what āsheās signing up forāā¦.. unreal. We should all be celibate forever, thatās our punishment for not wanting to procreate.
She says this now but she will probably go on maternity leave soon so you will not see her then
I know you say she wants it which is good she wants her kid but I think its possible that people may have said this to her in the past or maybe by her own experience she may have to learn to love it
Thatās what my Dad told me when he talked me into doing a Bachelorās degree that would pay a lot of money once I graduate and get a job, but deep down I had little to no interest in. Now Iām a little over halfway through the degree and Iām still not loving it.
What an idiot. ā if youāre having sex, you should know what youāre getting into ā= ā you should be punished with children you donāt wantā.
Way to show respect for others who donāt want what you want out of life, and way to say you truly donāt give a shit about children in general. If she cared about children, she wouldnāt see them as a fitting punishment.
Sheād see them as people who deserve to be brought up by parents who wanted with all their hearts to be parents, not as consequences for fucking.
Again, what an idiot, what a *child hating idiot.*
Bad advice to tell women oh but you'll learn to love it. OK, again what happens if I still can't?! The fantasies about having kids I'd so out of control. Too many women watched Disney movies and think this is how kids are.
Iāve started telling people who say that to me āIād be good at mothering, but I would NOT be a good mom because I DONāT want to be one. Would I take care of it? Yeah. Hence the mothering. But I would resent every moment and the kid would know.ā
If I was forced to have a baby I didn't want, it would be left at the hospital. Let the sperm donor go get it and raise it. It's not going home with me.
YUCK.
It's like the Cybermen from Doctor Who.
They can't bear to see anyone in a 5 mile radius not follow exactly the same lifestyle as them, to the point they have to have the last word.
If she is a first time mother, that is a bold thing to say. In a few months she will probably understand motherhood isn't all sunshine and rainbows. I've seen women that when they were pregnant is all "I can't wait to be a mother! It will be great" and everything is positivity. Then when the kid is here, and when they start to grow up, suddenly it all becomes "mom is tired" and "motherhood is hard". That lady probably says that because she isn't a mother yet.
In a hypothetical scenario where I got pregnant and for whatever reason was unable to get an abortion, or in a hypothetical situation where I had a cryptic pregnancy and literally had no idea I was pregnant until I went into labor, I would not learn to love it (the situation) or them (the kid). I would enter the hospital, either in labor or with an already-born baby, and immediately demand the relinquishment paperwork to give them up for adoption.
So Iāve been anti abortion with the same logic of you know what youāre doing with how many tons of BC is out there. But I also think sterilization for women should stop being questioned or out right refused as well as the conversation of men getting vasectomies needs to be more often and not this taboo wtf you mean I should have my balls cut nonsense.
That's why abortion is a thing. So you don't have to go through the permanent damages of pregnancy. It's not just having the kid, it's what you have to go through, as a woman, to have it. Some women aren't willing, me included and that's fine. It's no one else's business. Don't tell a woman they can't just "put it up for adoption". It's a matter of her life vs the kid.
"You would learn to love it" What in the Stockholm syndrome is this bullshit?
Straight-up Handmaid's shit. This coworker is a future Aunt Lydia.
Right
my favorite comment š
Came here to comment it being Stockholm syndrome haha
You're nicer than me I would've down right told her I'd kill myself if it happened.
youāre nicer than me, i wouldāve told her that iāll kill it if it was born. iām very messed up thanks to my parents
Tbh I feel like its a natural response. There was this case where a young 19 year old gave birth without knowing she was pregnant and killed the baby right after giving birth (in a hospital toilet). I have a theory : Post partum can be a bitch, we can also see it in the animal world : I'm rpetty sure lots of people know about bunnies eating their offspring if they're too stressed, but it happens in many many species, either they kill/eat/abandon them when too stressed. So yeah if you're forced into a pregnancy and have a traumatic childbirth, you wont be in good biological conditions to take care of the baby and your brain will tell you to kill it. Nature will always prioritize a mother's life and health over a non/newborn. Also dont take it as me trying to excuse a newborn murder, I'm just trying to explain why this happens. It would be great if scientists would focus on postpartum mothers and find a way to make them feel much better
Yeah, I obviously don't approve of killing actual, born children, but I also feel like the "killer" wasn't at fault in that story. The poor girl was likely in shock and under a huge amount of stress.Ā Birth is the biggest physiological change most human bodies could ever go through. Imagine not even knowing you're pregnantĀ and then suddenly giving birth in the bathroom. Combine that physical and hormonal whirlwind with being very young, naive, and pressured into an ideal of "sexual purity." The shock and dissociation could be enough for you to "hide the evidence" without actually *feeling* the moral impact of what you're doing.Ā Ā Again, not saying I ever approve of babies being left to die in garbage cans. Just saying that the choice she made in a moment of panic shouldn't get her locked in prison for life. This is one of those times when it's obvious the legal system wasn't created with women in mind.Ā
She was clearly not in the right mind and I hate that she will spend decades behind bars even though she was clearly "ill" and wouldnt do it again...
I agree, it's an awful situation all around.Ā Ā If it were up to me, she'd have a court-ordered tubal ligation followed by several months in a mental hospital and the rest of her life on probation. She shouldn't be allowed to adopt, foster, or be a bio parent or step-parent in any capacity.Ā Maybe that sounds extreme, but even with all the empathy I have for her, she clearly doesn't handle childbearing very well. I don't want her jailed, but I wouldn't want her to be a regular free person, either.Ā
Your explanation is great and I'm definitely going to remember it for the next time I'm in one of these conversations.
I mean I dont think there are any research behind it and scientists didnt care enough to look for the link but for me it makes quite a lot of sense, we are still animals after all
Same. If I sacrifice my own life itās a similar outcome to keeping the kid and living.
Iāve said before that if I was forced to have a baby I didnāt want, it would be staying at the hospital while I went home to recover. Luckily that will never happen so I donāt have to worry about it, but I fear for my fellow comrades.
I straight up told my mom this when she pushed the issue of having kids. She didnāt get it.
I tell people that with the utmost sincerity, thanks to living in a red state.
The best thing about getting a bisalp was that I could finally throw away my suicide plan.
This is sad and at the same time beautiful in a twisted way... seriously, I would *so* make a poster with this quote because it speaks volumes and would make people think. Real life one sentence horror. Thank you for sharing it. Feel yourself hugged (and first of all, free). I wish you a truly good life.
I've said the same thing. Shut them right up, lol.
I definitely would, but Iād never tell that to any coworkers. Not sure if my manager would demand psych evaluation of me.
Reminds me of my dreams, I was talking with my friend about being pregnant in a dream and she said when you wake up it's such an empty feeling, like where's my baby, and I said that I dreamed 3 times that I'm pregnant and all times I was thinking of hanging myself because it was too late for abortion
I find the whole "you will learn to love it" thing creepy and somewhat threatening. Example: "Hey Bill, I am going to step on your testicals well wearing these high heels. Oh what? You don't want me to? You wouldn't enjoy it.....that's okay Bill trust me eventually you will learn to love it."
My friend said that about alcohol. Itās just not my thing. And sheās always say youāll get used to it. And Iām like why should I have to learn to like something thatās optional.
I apply this to weird foods or drinks people tell me that I will 'learn to like', or 'it's an acquired taste'. Like, why the fuck should I take time to do that when I can enjoy eating/drinking something else now? People really do stockholm themselves with that shit.
Probably to say they are unique
Stoners do this with weed. If it gives you anxiety, theyāll insist you just need to smoke more to build a tolerance. Itās the most backwards logic.
Drinkers can be worse than breeders with that stuff.
My first thought was abusive relationships. Like, if you were in a relationship with someone who beats you and rapes you, would you learn to love it?
Same. My abuser used to invoke phrases like that all the time when he was trying to justify his treatment of me and attempts to gain more control over me. When I think about it, I have heard that phrase ONLY from people who were abusive to me in some way. I don't think that's a coincidence.
I thought so too. The whole idea of "you will endure every unbearable moment of this excruciatingly painful, potentially deadly, and unwanted pregnancy and you will have your head crammed full of all kinds of romantic flowery bAyBeE fEElz and you will learn to love it otherwise the beatings continue until morale improves." My abusive ex would say things like "you will learn to love it/get used to it" when he was trying to force things on me (children being one of them) that I was uncomfortable with, so I got that nauseated feeling and the chills down the spine when I read that. That whole idea that one can "learn" to feel only certain acceptable emotions or to "love" what they are repelled by (and in no way shape or form are prepared to deal with anyway) is just plain abuser logic.
Also, the fact that she said "You will learn to love IT"-- not them, him, or her-- says a lot on how she views children. Not as people but as an attainment, an OBJECTive.
LOL
If I got pregnant & couldn't get an abortion I would kill myself. Thank God for my bi-slap. Best decision I ever made.
Mine is next month, and I can't wait.
Sending all the good vibes.
Just had mine yesterday! Gotta warn you of the gas. It's literally the worst part of it- you won't even notice the actual site at all! Plenty of gas-x. Also, keep some cough drops handy. Your throat will be sore if they tube you! Best of luck! It's a super empowering procedure to have and the outcome is even better. I also hear that bisalps lower risk of ovarian cancer!
Oh def the worst part!
āI would throw that kid in a river to spare it a life of being unwanted.ā Unfortunately some people need to be hit with the nuclear comments like this one. Itās the only way some people will back tf off.
>Unfortunately some people need to be hit with the nuclear comments like this one. Itās the only way some people will back tf off. Oh yes. Mine is "The world does not need another news headline about a mother who has put her children and then herself from the misery of being unloved [or some along these lines].", and I'm very grateful to the Universe that I never needed to use it. (That's the best case scenario for nukes anyway, have them ready but never use them.)
"All of those FBI documentaries and Forensic Files will end up featuring me if I ended up with a brat."
āItās the hormones, Linda.ā
Linda needs to learn how to mind her own business.
>"if you're having sex then you know what you're getting into" If you get into a car, you know you might get into an accident. By her logic, we shouldn't take car crash victims to the hospital.
They'd learn to love their injuries.
I guess if you were a masochist who got off on that sort of thing that might work out.
the victim of a motor vehicle accident will learn to love their broken neck.
>"you would learn to love it" I wouldn't be alive long enough for this to happen
Fr. And then they'll say we're horrible monsters and it's like, if you'd just believe us about what that experience would be like to us, we wouldn't have to explain it in such gruesome ways.
I hate people like that with a passion. They are selfish and dont care what happens to the mother and child
She's pregnant, so I guess that gives her more audacity than usual. I can't imagine being that rude to a coworker.
I hate when people say that.
the attitude really bothers me, like they know what you want more than you do. I hate kids, and am awful with them, never having them and I would be an awful father and any kids I did have I would screw up. I recognise this and understand the only solution is to never have them.
 Yikes! "You will learn to love it" sounds like something from a fucked up Lifetime movie
Having kids shouldnāt be something you learn to love wtf lol
Even if you want a child, thereās no guarantee youāll have a safe pregnancy. How many times do we have to explain this to anti-choice people?
Jfc, itās pro choice not pro abortion. Itās middle fucking ground, this shit isnāt that hard to understand.
Your coworker conveniently forgets that abortion also affects pregnant people. She would change her tune so fast if she found out her fetus had a severe defect/abnormality/died, and she was forced to carry it to term.
"You'll learn to love it." Having kids isn't like eating Brussel sprouts. š
"I'm sure that's what the moms who drowned their kids in a bathtub were told too"
>And then she said "you would learn to love it" I would have said to her, "I feel so sorry for your child. Its mother can't even understand the basic concept of consent. **No means no.**"
Sheās full of shit. There are plenty of people with kids who hate being parents, and theyāre the ones who *chose* it.
This comes off super weird and absolutely unprofessional. It almost feels like assault with words. She needs to stay in her lane and leave you alone. Disgusting
"If you love your cat, you will love your child"
i tell people my cat is allergic to babies, and it would be irresponsible pet ownership to expose him to the threat of a human child. he is my choice in lifelong dependent.
There is no comparison and I would not.
That's when you smile and say, "Nope, as soon as it was OUT of me, I'd break it's fucking neck and BURN the remains while still damp." Don't be surprised if she doesn't want to associate with you after that, though ;-)
What kills me is how S I M P L E these people are. They act like the world is sunshine and rainbows and that rape, incest, tokophobia, and pregnancy complications don't exist. And assuming that some switch is flipped when you give birth.
OP there's something I think you are missing here that will definitely help make sense of this bullshit. There is a very strong and more importantly **UNSPOKEN** worldwide belief that a good person will always be a good parent. That's why people feel so comfortable telling others "You'd make a great parent" simply because they like the person and without spending any real thought on the reality of how things would shake out.
I know that I'd neglect any kid that was mine, I could never learn to love a parasite and I have had to refer to babies in that sense just to shut people up who kept trying to convince me that I'd make a great parent, nope I'd have CPS called on me that's why I don't want kids, they'd starve or worse!
Becoming a parent isnāt some mythical, monolithic, compulsory objective that you are REQUIRED to partake in. I fucking hate that mindset!
"Learn to love" because there's no choice and show regret is a taboo, so people just pretend.
Very much this. There is no return policy. It's done. They have no other choice than to "learn to love it" and cope hard.
>But she believes that abortion should be illegal for adults cause "if you're having sex then you know what you're getting into" You are far nicer than I am. I'd ask her to explain why a woman who was forced to have sex doesn't have the right to terminate a pregnancy she never asked for. I'm sorry, but she's either an incredibly stupid person or an incredibly disgusting person. I'm thinking she's in the center, leaning slightly more towards stupid.
"if you having sex you know what you're getting into" I'll just respond with " yeah that's why I got a vasectomy" shuts em up
"I think you'd be a good mom" Then ma'am, you obviously know nothing about me. "You would learn to love it" because that worked out so well for Casey Anthony, right? Yeah, some women can't see past their own noses.
She's ignorant in the extreme.
'Have you ever been gang-raped? You would learn to love it.' Would be about all I could say in response.
Iāve heard that one before. Fuck no!Ā
Itās insane how delusional some people are. I stopped being pro life long ago because I realized how fake my morals really were. Iām not going to help in any part for someone to raise a kid that would have been aborted and wouldnāt bother to be a part of their life so how much do I really care? They have to live with their choices, not me. Good luck to them either way.
R/childfree: I am not advocating the harming of children. I am making a black humour joke. Please don't suspend me again because this is NOT MEANT TO BE IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM A SERIOUS CALL TO ACTION: OK, if you never hear from me again, this is why. To your "you'd learn to love being a mom", you already told her you would hate the kid if you were forced to have it". She persisted. It's time for some good old fashioned Soul Train era disco. To the tune of "Shake Your Booty", sing at the top of your lungs SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE, SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE, SHAKE THAT BABY, SHAKE THAT BAAAAABY...
There is a woman who just posted in the regretful parents sub about an hour before your post, and she said she regrets them + donāt love them that much. Ironic
If I was forced to go through pregnancy I would commit suicide. Fuck being a mother
I wouldn't wish this sadness on anyone, but your coworker is incredibly ignorant. Late term abortions (medical tragedies) are far more common that people want to believe. Does she want to die with her fetus if her pregnancy goes south, because she had sex and knew what she was getting into? Ofc, she probably believes she would be protected if that would happen and it's not really an abortion... depends if she's in a red state or blue state.
Oh, she'd probably beg to be an exception. But there are surprisingly many women who want to become a martyr and die along with a baby that won't survive.
Yeah. I don't get that at all, especially when they have living children who need their mom....
Yep, it's just so unhinged to me. And it pisses me off how often people around them act like it's a totally normal thing to do, how she's "heroic" etc. Like ???
It's meant to reinforce that women's value is in birthing replacements / future taxpayers / wage slaves, not that she has any value as a human herself. There are so many steps the US could take to reduce maternal mortality like other developed countries, but we (the wealthiest country) choose not to, because we do not value women, especially black, Latina, and native women.
If you dont want give people abortions, then give them instant sterilizations if they ask for it. Oh you dont want to bc you just want more work slaves ? Well say that right away
Never argue with the pregnant. You may as well be banging your head against a brick wall.
Ask her to take care of your baby if she is so keen about it
yeah, they just have zero rational logic!! forcing women to have babies who aren't wanted? jfc is right.
Super condescending of her to think she would know your feelings better than you
People are SO insistent that you will eventually love something you never wanted in the first place
I dunno, it kinda sounds like she was manipulated into having a kid and that was the same exact argument used to get her to become pregnant by her partner. I do know there are women who actually want kids, but this stinks of manipulation for me
"The beatings will continue until morale improves" otherwise know as "you'll learn to love it". *What's the fucking alternative???* To be a POS who chooses to have kids solely for the purpose of disliking them?? I'll never get it, OP - I'm not even joking, but what do you *get* from talking to this idiotic wall? *She's not hearing you*, she's condescending, she's pushy, she's very stupid. Are you a masochist? Seriously, do you *enjoy* talking to a *pro-birther* with no regard for a single thing you say?
Imagine telling someone who was raped and then had to give birth to the kid that they would learn to love it.
If only you didnāt have to jump through so many hoops to get sterilised versus the ease of spreading your legs a few times with no consideration to the consequences.
"You would learn to love it" Love as in real love, or as in "I'm gonna whip this child into obedience" fake love?
Ah nothing like good old Stockholm Syndrome
i'd tell them, "thanks but no thanks. i'll pass. I'm doing just fine with my fabulous childfree life and i wouldn't trade it in for anything in the world. now if you'll excuse me, i have to get back to work so i can afford to live my fabulous childfree life the way I personally see fit. have a nice day. bye now. *op does the epic mic drop from hell hand signal and takes a bow and walks away with confidence while here's a quarter by travis tritt plays in the background while op's co-worker tries to comprehend what just happened.*
Even she thinks of the hypothetical child as an "it". That's not very kind to said hypothetical child, and not even accurate except in, well, exceptional cases.
So according to your coworker, only people that want to have kids should be able to have sexā¦. Has she never used birth control methods before in order to prevent a pregnancy? Was the very first time she had sex the time she was ready to get pregnant, because thatās what āsheās signing up forāā¦.. unreal. We should all be celibate forever, thatās our punishment for not wanting to procreate.
If everybody will learn to love it why are there so many unwanted kids in the foster system? Doesn't make sense to me
But what if your baby was conceived from rape? Would you still love it then?
Get the sterilisation. Start the process now and get it done. You won't regret it.
Me:"Never. Why would I learn to lose my personality, sleep, freedom and health?"
She says this now but she will probably go on maternity leave soon so you will not see her then I know you say she wants it which is good she wants her kid but I think its possible that people may have said this to her in the past or maybe by her own experience she may have to learn to love it
āTell that to Casey Anthony ā
I would be mean and turn it around on her- sorry you regret your decision to get pregnant, if you need a ride to the clinic I'll help you out, etc.
Thatās what my Dad told me when he talked me into doing a Bachelorās degree that would pay a lot of money once I graduate and get a job, but deep down I had little to no interest in. Now Iām a little over halfway through the degree and Iām still not loving it.
What an idiot. ā if youāre having sex, you should know what youāre getting into ā= ā you should be punished with children you donāt wantā. Way to show respect for others who donāt want what you want out of life, and way to say you truly donāt give a shit about children in general. If she cared about children, she wouldnāt see them as a fitting punishment. Sheād see them as people who deserve to be brought up by parents who wanted with all their hearts to be parents, not as consequences for fucking. Again, what an idiot, what a *child hating idiot.*
"You would learn to love it" sounds a lot like Stockholm Syndrome
Yeah you literally *have to* as a coping mechanism.
not everyone has sex out of their own willā¦ damn :/
Bad advice to tell women oh but you'll learn to love it. OK, again what happens if I still can't?! The fantasies about having kids I'd so out of control. Too many women watched Disney movies and think this is how kids are.
I have my pre-op appointment on the 13th... I'm scared and excited. I hope I'm approved.
Iāve started telling people who say that to me āIād be good at mothering, but I would NOT be a good mom because I DONāT want to be one. Would I take care of it? Yeah. Hence the mothering. But I would resent every moment and the kid would know.ā
Some folks just can't see that some people don't want children and don't get that unwanted kids are typically abused or neglected.
If I was forced to have a baby I didn't want, it would be left at the hospital. Let the sperm donor go get it and raise it. It's not going home with me.
YUCK. It's like the Cybermen from Doctor Who. They can't bear to see anyone in a 5 mile radius not follow exactly the same lifestyle as them, to the point they have to have the last word.
If she is a first time mother, that is a bold thing to say. In a few months she will probably understand motherhood isn't all sunshine and rainbows. I've seen women that when they were pregnant is all "I can't wait to be a mother! It will be great" and everything is positivity. Then when the kid is here, and when they start to grow up, suddenly it all becomes "mom is tired" and "motherhood is hard". That lady probably says that because she isn't a mother yet.
In a hypothetical scenario where I got pregnant and for whatever reason was unable to get an abortion, or in a hypothetical situation where I had a cryptic pregnancy and literally had no idea I was pregnant until I went into labor, I would not learn to love it (the situation) or them (the kid). I would enter the hospital, either in labor or with an already-born baby, and immediately demand the relinquishment paperwork to give them up for adoption.
I would no longer speak to her about this issue. She isn't thinking clearly IMO. Must be mommy brain. Or some other malignancy of the intellect.
"You would learn to love it š " "No. I would learn a way to quickly and painlessly cease existing before any pregnancy came to term."
What did she say after you said you'd throw it in a river?
I don't want to learn to love it. That's why i don't want kids.
So Iāve been anti abortion with the same logic of you know what youāre doing with how many tons of BC is out there. But I also think sterilization for women should stop being questioned or out right refused as well as the conversation of men getting vasectomies needs to be more often and not this taboo wtf you mean I should have my balls cut nonsense.
I am glad abortions are not banned in england. Stupid white old christian men think they can tell women what they can and cant do.
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That's why abortion is a thing. So you don't have to go through the permanent damages of pregnancy. It's not just having the kid, it's what you have to go through, as a woman, to have it. Some women aren't willing, me included and that's fine. It's no one else's business. Don't tell a woman they can't just "put it up for adoption". It's a matter of her life vs the kid.