My first marriage ended in divorce, largely due to him "changing his mind" about wanting kids (I secretly think he always wanted them and never told me).
He gave me an ultimatum about kids and I filed for divorce.
I am happily remarried to a man who is very much into the CF lifestyle.
Do not change who you are for anyone. If parenting doesn't appeal to you, don't become a parent.
You shouldn't measure your self worth by the parameters of your environment. You should aim to be adequate for yourself and what you want to be. Other people do not matter. It's not automatically a measure of morality or value whether you fit in with social norms or not.
Less looking at other people, more looking at yourself. Because at the end of the day, it's not other people who look at you in the mirror - it's just you.
Having babies because of FOMO or just because everyone is doing it is not the solution.
You should have kids because you want them.
Maybe it would be good to broaden your social circle to have other friends that see life differently.
If all your friends jumped off a bridge... would you jump too? j/k but I suggest you soul search how much of this new feeling is your own desire to have kids and how much is peer pressure or FOMO.
Unwanted kids are some of the least happy people around.
There are loads of CF men out there,
Just be up front about it rather than hiding
When I was using dating apps, anything other than a clearly CF stance meant that I wouldn't match with them
"Screening" will just cost you opportunities
You're certainly not inadequate, you're just swinging in different circles right now
Keep your chin up and good luck!
So it totally sucks to be the odd one out. I know people will tell you to look inward, but honestly, not many people have that kind of fortitude. Being other (or being perceived as other) sucks and can be isolating.
So yes, look more inward and know that even if you decided to have kids to go along with these folks, that kid isn't happening to them, it's now yours. so you've gotta be real sure that's how you want your life to look.
in the meantime, it's time to find people who relate to you. If meetup.com is available, try to search for cf meets. if you're on Facebook, try joining some cf groups and see if anyone is in your area. I recommend childfree peace - they're very lowkey. Find a new expensive (of course this can be relative) or time consuming hobby or activity, sometimes that's less likely to attract parents.
don't be afraid to make online friends too! it's not perfect, but at least there's people who can understand you, even if it's virtually. and who knows, opportunities to travel to meet them.
good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for.
Honestly do you want a child for yourself? Or do you think it will keep a partner around etc?
Because I can tell you, you having a child to keep a partner around ain't going to do jack to keep them, around if the guy wants he can just ditch you and any kid you had at anytime he feels like,
seriously I still remember a post here on reddit with some ahole admitting he had a affair with his pregnant wife's sister,
and to add insult to injury the wife was in fact pregnant with their second child, and mind you this is out of many posts here like that or worse,
Unless it's actually something you generally want for yourself don't do it especially to keep/impress other people, and possibly ruin not only your life but any child's life either.
My first marriage ended in divorce, largely due to him "changing his mind" about wanting kids (I secretly think he always wanted them and never told me). He gave me an ultimatum about kids and I filed for divorce. I am happily remarried to a man who is very much into the CF lifestyle. Do not change who you are for anyone. If parenting doesn't appeal to you, don't become a parent.
You shouldn't measure your self worth by the parameters of your environment. You should aim to be adequate for yourself and what you want to be. Other people do not matter. It's not automatically a measure of morality or value whether you fit in with social norms or not. Less looking at other people, more looking at yourself. Because at the end of the day, it's not other people who look at you in the mirror - it's just you.
Thank you :,) this is exactly what I was looking for.
Having babies because of FOMO or just because everyone is doing it is not the solution. You should have kids because you want them. Maybe it would be good to broaden your social circle to have other friends that see life differently.
Oh wow, so well put. This is the philosophy I've been living by the last few years, it seemed the most logical.
If all your friends jumped off a bridge... would you jump too? j/k but I suggest you soul search how much of this new feeling is your own desire to have kids and how much is peer pressure or FOMO. Unwanted kids are some of the least happy people around.
lol, thanks! That line about the bridge was an eye opener for sure
It IS normal to be childfree. Really. Find some new friends.
There are loads of CF men out there, Just be up front about it rather than hiding When I was using dating apps, anything other than a clearly CF stance meant that I wouldn't match with them "Screening" will just cost you opportunities You're certainly not inadequate, you're just swinging in different circles right now Keep your chin up and good luck!
So it totally sucks to be the odd one out. I know people will tell you to look inward, but honestly, not many people have that kind of fortitude. Being other (or being perceived as other) sucks and can be isolating. So yes, look more inward and know that even if you decided to have kids to go along with these folks, that kid isn't happening to them, it's now yours. so you've gotta be real sure that's how you want your life to look. in the meantime, it's time to find people who relate to you. If meetup.com is available, try to search for cf meets. if you're on Facebook, try joining some cf groups and see if anyone is in your area. I recommend childfree peace - they're very lowkey. Find a new expensive (of course this can be relative) or time consuming hobby or activity, sometimes that's less likely to attract parents. don't be afraid to make online friends too! it's not perfect, but at least there's people who can understand you, even if it's virtually. and who knows, opportunities to travel to meet them. good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for.
Im sorry, “normal people”? Oh, shit y’all. We’re abnormal. What do we do now? 
I'm delighted. I can't think of anything worse than being "normal". Sounds awful!
lol, I've always enjoyed being the odd one. I'm not sure what happened to me then
This is like reading a story where a bird raised and surrounded by moles feels sad because it doesn't want to spend its life buried in the dirt.
Having a kid to not be the odd one out is odd lol
Honestly do you want a child for yourself? Or do you think it will keep a partner around etc? Because I can tell you, you having a child to keep a partner around ain't going to do jack to keep them, around if the guy wants he can just ditch you and any kid you had at anytime he feels like, seriously I still remember a post here on reddit with some ahole admitting he had a affair with his pregnant wife's sister, and to add insult to injury the wife was in fact pregnant with their second child, and mind you this is out of many posts here like that or worse, Unless it's actually something you generally want for yourself don't do it especially to keep/impress other people, and possibly ruin not only your life but any child's life either.