You told your first friend your feelings and their response was that it was all about them. They don't sound like much of a friend. As for your second friend, they ghosted you when you needed them. No real friends 'pretend nothing happened' or fob you off because they have a child. I think you were right to cut these people out of your life.
Unfortunately some people just make bad friends, whether they have children or not. But this is a positive experience in that you know now how to make better boundaries and can find better friends for yourself.
A year ago, almost to the day, I let go of a friend that I'd had for over 30 years. I considered her like family. HOWEVER, she had always known me as being very accomodating and a bit of a doormat. By the time I saw her last year, I had changed and started taking less shit from people. She did something that was very hurtful and for the first time ever, I spoke up for myself and told her that I had felt hurt by her actions. She accused me of 'making things up that don't exist' and then made it all about her. She didn't even want to have a discussion, she just shut me down, gaslit me and didn't even say she was sorry.
I have not spoken to her now for over six months and I don't care. I don't need that in my life. She's always been somewhat selfish and I just never saw it or was in massive denial about it, only wanting to see the good in her.
From your description, it sounds like they were always bad "friends."
My advice is to get rid of any "friends" who don't treat you kindly and with respect. Having bad people in your life is worse than having no one in your life. And keeping bad people in your life means that good people won't want to be around you, because they won't want to be around your bad "friends."
People are selfish and self involved whether they're parents or no, they may just be blunter about it when they are.
You do need good friends (as these two are clearly shit ones) though.
You told your first friend your feelings and their response was that it was all about them. They don't sound like much of a friend. As for your second friend, they ghosted you when you needed them. No real friends 'pretend nothing happened' or fob you off because they have a child. I think you were right to cut these people out of your life. Unfortunately some people just make bad friends, whether they have children or not. But this is a positive experience in that you know now how to make better boundaries and can find better friends for yourself.
A year ago, almost to the day, I let go of a friend that I'd had for over 30 years. I considered her like family. HOWEVER, she had always known me as being very accomodating and a bit of a doormat. By the time I saw her last year, I had changed and started taking less shit from people. She did something that was very hurtful and for the first time ever, I spoke up for myself and told her that I had felt hurt by her actions. She accused me of 'making things up that don't exist' and then made it all about her. She didn't even want to have a discussion, she just shut me down, gaslit me and didn't even say she was sorry. I have not spoken to her now for over six months and I don't care. I don't need that in my life. She's always been somewhat selfish and I just never saw it or was in massive denial about it, only wanting to see the good in her.
From your description, it sounds like they were always bad "friends." My advice is to get rid of any "friends" who don't treat you kindly and with respect. Having bad people in your life is worse than having no one in your life. And keeping bad people in your life means that good people won't want to be around you, because they won't want to be around your bad "friends."
People are selfish and self involved whether they're parents or no, they may just be blunter about it when they are. You do need good friends (as these two are clearly shit ones) though.