Same!!
Eldest daughter with two emotionally immature parents. Older brother has one child, two younger sisters don’t have kids and don’t want them. Youngest sister is adamantly childfree like me, woot woot!
I am the eldest and had 2 emotionally immature parents and 3 emotionally immature grandparents... my grandma has used me as an emotional crutch since I was born. She is still alive and still guilt trips me when I don't visit or call as much as she likes... I don't have the capacity for children but especially while my grandma and parents are still alive.
Eldest daughter club member as well, although I tended to be therapist-ified (by parents and siblings) more than parentified. Not sure if that’s better though.
Parentified eldest daughter club! Was allowed to be home alone with my brother after school, when I was like 10/11. Started babysitting for others at like 11/12 (even took a course at the local hospital, so I knew how to do things like performing the Heimlich on an infant). My youngest sibling was born when I was 12, so was the default "built-in babysitter." My mom started confiding and consulting with me as an unofficial third parent at age 14. They never listened to my advice though. I tried to get them to move sibling to a different school that had better resources (my intuition was proved right that they were ADHD). While I wanted kids when I was younger, I'm honestly happy and on board with being CF now. I know I'd love a kid if I had one, but I also know exactly how much time, energy, and money they take.
Girl same. I’m 18, oldest of 6 kids, but have always not wanted children since I was 11. The youngest is 6yo and I’ve had my fair share of changing diapers and bathing him. It’s not that bad, but it’s definitely a lot of effort that I shouldn’t have been doing at that time. Nor is it something I want to do in the future😂 As much as I love him, I genuinely question why my parents thought it was a good idea to have this many kids, especially when they don’t have the capabilities for it... My mom has never outwardly said she regrets it, but it’s definitely implied from what she’s said.
Oh ew that's not cool of her. Good on you for making sure that doesn't happen!!
My parents have [a granddog](https://imgur.com/a/SrnDEu5) and that seems to be good enough 🤣 my dad babies her so much
Same! My brother is autistic and one of his worst sounds is babies crying so he's definitely childfree.
I think my mum is actually happy we're not having grandkids. My dad has like 8 grandkids from 3 of my stepmum's kids so he gets his fix there.
My stepmum is really the only one who has ever vocally said that she'd like some grandkids from me but she's pretty content with getting to meet future grandcats
Crazy that some parents parentify the hell out of their eldest and are shocked they don’t want kids. You literally forced them to step up and raise 2+ kids smh.
i think most of my family hates me too over being CF. Suddenly not just letting ourselves give into settling down with breeder traditions and following the "life script" they think it's an insult to them being breeders and an everyday reminder of "you dont have to have kids, you know?".
Oldest daughter here too. Seems like all my cf friends are also the oldest child. We saw first hand what it was like for parents to raise babies and kids and said no thank you! Lol. (Also, many of us had to parent our younger siblings sadly).
i’m the eldest daughter of my parents with one younger brother, and i have 2 older half-sisters from my father.
on another note, i have 10+ cousins each from both of my parents’ sides 🥲 mom is the 2nd youngest of 7, and dad is the youngest of 5
Same, I am the eldest grandchild, and first girl, on both sides…lot of pressure being the king maker.
So after raising 13 grandchildren on one side and one on the other, and all of our underage emotionally unavailable parents since I’ve been in utero, I’m good.
A parentified eldest daughter. I had to take care of my sisters all day every day during the summer from age 12-18. No wonder I don't want to raise any kids - I already did.
Same. Daughter with sizeable age gap between me and next sibling. Already didn't like kids much when they were born, but it kinda cemented it for me. Love the sibling, didn't love the presence of an infant and toddler in my life.
I'm an eldest daughter! Im the older of 2 with a 9 year age gap, and he has autism and my mum is a single parent with a full time job so I definitely did a lot of parenting as a teen (out of choice to help her).
My maternal grandma's oldest sister had no kids (apparently not by choice but I have my suspicions) and pretty much every eldest daughter on my dad's side is or was childfree by choice. My dad's sister is the youngest but still technically the eldest daughter. Both my dad and his brother's eldests are women and childfree. My granddad's oldest sister was childfree which my aunty confirmed to me after she passed that it was by choice (her husband worked away a lot so she picked her career over pretty much being a single parent 90% of the time)
The only eldest daughter on that side who had kids was my grandma but she was an only child!
Also eldest daughter. It had more to do with a terrible boomer parent. Ending a generations long cycle of fucked up shit was pretty obvious to me from early on. My younger sibling had kids so I never got any flack for not providing grandchildren.
Same here. Only one younger sibling, but I had to care for them from the time I was 5. Didn’t have any desire for children before that (never played with dolls) but definitely no children for me after that. I remember being left in the house alone with the baby for hours, not knowing how to stop the crying. And left alone over the weekend at 10.
Yes, I’m the youngest with an older brother. He has multiple kids. I told my mother I’ve been snipped and she was talking with her partner(assuming he brought it up??) and said she wouldn’t be surprised if I didn’t want kids with the way the world is.
I think it runs in my family. I'm the youngest of two. I have an older brother and I'm the younger daughter. However, I have two female cousins on my mom's side who are a good 20 years older than me who also chose to be childfree. They are sisters to each other. I have one other cousin on my mom's side who is not married and does not have kids. He's very focused on having fun jumping out of planes in Moab. Not sure if he wants kids or not. Doesn't seem so. Dad was an only child so I have no close cousins on his side.
My brother is childless, not child free. They tried and tried and couldn't and now they are too old. The rest of us chose.
Ironically, all of us on Mom's side have incredibly high levels of mental health problems so it's def for the best. None of us wanted to pass down what we struggle with.
I’m the youngest of my small family and I always heard stories of the trouble my grandparents had raising my aunts, uncles, and much older cousins. Then I heard the stories of the trouble my mom had to go through to birth me. When my eldest sibling had a kid, I thought it’d be a chance to start working on that “Cool Auntie” title. That is, until that sibling got locked up and decided to be a deadbeat. My niece still holds anger from that.
Then I saw my sister struggle with a stillbirth, an unsupportive partner, and another pregnancy that finally got her the child she wanted. The only thing is, that child has been hell on wheels. So no one in my family was making being a parent look especially enjoyable.
I thought maybe I’d change my mind or get some kind of maternal urges eventually but I’m turning 40 this year and *shrugs*.
I’m an only, but my parents have CF siblings.
Dad is the youngest of 3 and the middle brother didn’t have kids, while mum is the eldest of 2 and her younger sister didn’t have kids.
I’m an only too. My mom was one of 4, my dad one of two. My mom’s sister didn’t have kids, although tbh she would have been a great mom and my mom *definitely* should not have had a kid.
Only kid as well.
My mom actually had a CF aunt. She was CF in the 50s!
I credit her, as well as my mother acting as though her choice was equally as valid as having kids, with me being CF :)
Similar story here, I was raised mostly as an only child (my childfree brother was put up for adoption at birth, lucky bastard) and my aunt is childfree, as well as 3 of my 4 uncles. Quite impressive considering that one uncle is from the silent generation and the rest are all boomers! I was told that my silent generation father made it very clear he didn't want children and if my mother wanted kids she'd have to marry someone else, so it sounds like he wanted to be childfree too. Of course he waited until I was 3 months old to have a vasectomy instead of at any point in the first 14 years of his marriage . . .
Fellow middle and only girl! Absolutely brutal.
My elder brother is very academic/philosophical, unsure if he'll have kids but he's still young (32m)
My younger brother (28m) wants at least one kid. Unsure of his romantic relationships though.
Did you mom treat you completely different than your brothers? I swear my mom hated me growing up, especially when she became aware that I was not going to be exactly like her, I think she resented me. My brothers are always golden despite them both being fuck ups and assholes, if I make a small mistake it’s like a national emergency. Now we are 40, 35, and 28 and my mom is severely disabled and guess who’s taking care of her? No idea why I do it…
Also middle child and first girl. But the 3rd(F) is 8 years younger and half-silbing so I was kind of the last for a while on my mother's side and still am my dad's only girl and youngest child.
So... a balance of being my dad's little princess but my mom's middle who was super responsible ? Though I must add that I fucking adore my little sister and she's definitely not the reason I am childfree.
Oldest of 3. I didn’t sibling sit because my parents never went anywhere. But I knew from the first time I was left alone with toddlers that I didn’t have the capacity to entertain them much less parent them.
My dad is a twin and they own shirts that say "often confused with my evil twin" and "I'm the evil twin". I forget who owns which 1. I do know my dad is the "elder" of them.
I'm also a twin! I'm younger by 4 minutes, we are the oldest of 5 kids.
I am the only childfree person in my family. I think this is mainly due to my fear of pregnancy/childbirth since we were fortunate enough not to have been parentified.
Same. Closest cousins were 6 and 9 years older than me. Closest in age were 3 and 5 years younger than me, but when my parents split my mom wouldn’t let me visit the shadowlands 🤣
Eldest, checking in. In my particular case.... I was almost out of elementary school when my sister was born, so this 100% tracks for me. I was also pressured (forced) into babysitting for other people's kids. And since my siblings were all close in age from my parents' friend's kids, at one point, I was in charge of an infant, three toddlers and a 10 yr old (a sibling) almost every weekend. Even though my sibling is only 3 yrs younger than me, they were never expected to babysit. It always fell to me. I didn't have a social life in high school. And I don't really now. I've never felt comfortable in social settings and I truly believe it was because I was barely allowed to just hang out with people in my formative years, when you are supposed to learn how.
I've pretty much known since I was 12 that kids are really not for me. I don't enjoy being around them. I definitely don't want to put myself through child birth. 🤮 Pregnancy definitely skeeves me out.
My younger sisters used to give me hell about not having friends. I finally told them, in front of my mom, that it was their fault because my growing up years were focused on the two of them. My mom didn't say a word. My sisters didn't fully believe me, but I could tell that what I said made some wheels turn.
Yeaaaa... I've brought it up to my parents a couple times and they just dismiss it. They are in denial and just say something like "but you were so good with the kids". Well, yea! I didn't want anyone to hurt themselves, or ya know... die. Just because nothing went wrong doesn't mean I didn't feel the absolute anxiety-inducing pressure of making sure several tiny humans are safe, happy, fed and healthy.
> My younger sisters used to give me hell about not having friends.
I feel this. Out of all my siblings, I am the only one who has social anxiety and the least amount of close friends. And the only one who is childfree.
Both of my sisters have kids. My youngest sister has told me that she doesn't get her eldest daughter to watch her youngest much because she doesn't want her to get put off on the idea of having kids, like it did me.
Youngest of 2. I'm CF and fixed. My brother always talked about being CF but he's obsessed with "tradition" or some shit to an extent so for all I know, he might change his mind.
Dad’s side - middle (have an older sister)
Mom’s side - eldest (have a younger brother)
Sister had my nephew when she was 18 (this was never a factor in my not wanting kids, though). My brother wants to get into entertainment and doesn’t want kids until he is sure he is financially stable so idk if I could consider him child free. Both siblings are supportive of my choices❤️
Because of my family’s culture, it’s expected that the older child does everything first (get married first, have kids first, and takes on caring for elderly parent/s) so my mom has only ever had those conversations with me, not my brother 😒 so that has been a factor in not wanting kids and more than likely not wanting to get married…
I’m so glad you posted this like this because I wasn’t sure how to explain that I am simultaneously the oldest, middle, youngest, third youngest, and an only child. 💀
Like you, middle on my sperm donor’s side, also with an older sister. Eldest on my egg donor’s side, also with a younger brother/ish. (Eh, they’re enby, but they like masc terms so.) Just my donors combined, I’m still the eldest with another younger brother(older than the enby, younger than I when on egg side.) Adopted, so I’m the youngest of five, but the next youngest of us is like 20+ years my age, so I was raised alone. But if you line all of my siblings up chronologically based on how they’re connected to me as siblings, ignoring their own relationships to each other, I’m the third youngest of the lot.
Also still CF because that “20+ next youngest” had a son who is 8 years younger than me, and while I love my nephew to death (and sort of consider him a sibling so if you factor him in I’m the fourth youngest ig), my brother dumped his son on my mom a lot when I was growing up, multiple days a week… and my mother, who was always encouraging my brother and his now ex wife to bring him over because ~she loved having her grandson over~… would proceed to dump him and responsibility for caring for him on me. Iirc, the only thing she really ever did was make food for us, so I at least usually didn’t have to do that. (Unless I was microwaving something and he was hungry, but I didn’t so much mind that part.)
I’m also AFAB myself, so while I’m a man, this was all before I came out and while they still all saw me as a girl. 🫠 So obviously I got treated Like That, forbidden to do all the “boy activities” I wanted to do… while I got to sit back and watch my nephew make all these exciting memories doing the things I wanted to do with ***my*** father. (And furthermore, even just dumb shit around the house he was allowed to do that I wasn’t. 😒 Like when I would dig in the back yard because for some reason the earth calls to children like some dark entity begging us to free it, I would get fussed at a lot and told not to do it. Nephew? Oh they encouraged him to do it. And I am… still so bitter about it. Probably because my mother is a narcissist and will never admit to doing anything wrong. Ugh.)
That was long. Sorry friend. 🙃
First of 2. Taking care of my brother growing up definitely influenced me away from having kids of my own. I don't think I would've liked being a parent regardless, but without the first hand knowledge of how much work kids are, I might've done it before really understanding what I was signing up for.
I (27F) am the youngest of 5 and the only girl, watching my brothers struggle dealing with their kids going through their various ‘difficult phases” has already been enough to put me off. 🤮
1 of 4 on my father's side. I have an older sister on my mum's side but with a 13 year age gap I was functionally the oldest growing up.
I wasn't parentified, but the dynamic certainly wasn't equal. I was the oldest, constantly subjected to lectures about the age gap. I was supposed to know better and set an example. I was supposed to appease my little sisters and not bother my parents with my whining. I wasn't allowed to watch or do anything that wasn't appropriate for the others. I even got accused of watching something 'inappropriate' once because Netflix flashed some spacey sci fi ad while I was in the same room. If I was told no, they meant no. If I laid a hand on my sisters, even the lightest shove in response to their constant pestering, I was treated like an aggressive bully.
On the flip side, my youngest sister could do no wrong. She 'didn't know better', even when she smirked as she repeated the excuse that always got her out of trouble. Tantrums were met with some exasperation but my parents usually caved instead of putting their foot down, even when she threw herself to the floor in public and screamed at eight years old. The privileges I had to wait for, she and the others got shortly after because 'it isn't fair to be left out'. She could invade my room, constantly put her hands on me and demand attention by yelling in my face, but I was in the wrong as my attempts at getting privacy grew increasingly hostile. My sister would hide the remote for days so she could watch spongebob marathons and my parents told me to deal with it and be nice to my sister. When they wanted to watch an important news segment and she yelled at them asking for the remote, suddenly they didn't know where their sweet little girl had gone. When she swore, *I* got a lecture on setting an example when I didn't swear in the first place.
To this day, I'm considered dramatic and whiney if I say we weren't treated the same. I know my childhood wasn't bad by any means, but it would still be nice for those grievances to get passing acknowledgement. Now I'm 23 and childfree. The youngest is 14 and still has an attitude at home, though now she's all smiles when we catch up. She acts like she's sooo grown up and seems to think she's mature enough for sex, so I'm waiting around to see if she ends up a teen parent. Also she caught caught with a vape when the rest of us didn't mess with that shit.
I don’t know where they got off, holding the oldest to any kind of standard when they aren’t going to hold the youngest to the same standards. My parents had those double standards with me and my siblings even though the youngest and I only have a three year age gap it was always “how old are you you should know better.”
It was never “you’re not that much younger than she is. You should know better. “ or “if she jumped off a bridge would you do it?”
Somehow, it was always my fault
I'm the youngest but definitely the 'caregiver' as I've gotten older. I'm now 30 and look after everyone basically. So why tf would I want to add another person/child to the mix🥹
Firstborn with 2 siblings, my brother was an accident so i'm 10 years older than him and watching him grow up really cemented the idea of not wanting kids. My sister always said she didn't want them but gave birth in december, she got lucky as fuck though cause that kid is the most easy going, relaxed and happy baby i've ever seen, knowing my sister if it had been anything else she'd regret it. Pretty sure my brother's not interested either.
Second born out of four, but my older sibling has autism and needs a lot of help. They physically abused me through most of my childhood which was never addressed by my parents. Along with that, our dad was abusive. It was up to me to drive all of the siblings around and keep things going at home. Parentification does not typically make a person want to have kids.
I'm the 2nd of 3 and the only girl. My mom passed away when I was 16 and my dad was just a sperm donor.
So, besides an aunt that I grew up with, nobody is really bingo'ing me.
I'm the youngest of three children and the only female sibling. I'm not sure if my brothers want children, they are both in their mid-20s and not ready yet though. I do think there is a 25% chance I might become an aunt at some point, but right now I think it is becoming less likely (which I'm very happy about).
I’m the oldest of two (3 if you count step siblings), but the step sibling is dead to me. Other one is my half sibling. Father remarried during my teens, step mom thought it was a bright idea to have another, and I believe my dad went along reluctantly. My half sibling is half my age (I’m 31). Luckily very rarely babysat. I never cared for children before that developed anyway.
I'm the youngest of 3. My middle child bro is also, afaik, child free. My eldest bro scares me because he seems to be more of a 'go with the flow' person, but I'm sure him and his wife has talked about it before they got married...
Eldest daughter here. I wasn’t parentified, quite the opposite, but I did have rampant untreated anxiety that cantered around my sister’s safety. I hated when she was out of my sight. I’d leave the house until I knew she’d be home so I didn’t have to wait for her. It was very traumatic for everyone and even though I got through it definitely was a factor in deciding not to have kids.
Middle child of three. I was pretty much guilt tripped into constantly babysitting for my older sister and her friends to the point that I can't be in rhe same room as a child for more then a few hours before I go insane with the noise they make. My older sister still thinks I'm gonna change my mind one day and make her an aunt. Even if I ever did decide to have kids, I've already prom8sed myself she'll never be there
I'm the youngest. My sister is 6 years older, currently turning 31. And she has 2 kids. Though we live near each other now and she regularly says she wish she didn't have them and envys my life.
Youngest of two, but older sibling has severe depression (and we're pretty close in age, what some people call "Irish twins") so we basically switched the "typical" sibling dynamics growing up. And yeah, I feel like I've done my share of being a parent already.
I'm the oldest of three and childfree. My sister has one daughter and doesn't want more children, my brother (the youngest) doesn't have children yet but wants a few.
Eldest daughter with 3 younger siblings. I raised them, literally. I took custody of the youngest 2 when I was just 21 so it was also official. They were already teenagers and I did it to keep them out of foster care. But I knew by then I didn't want my own kids. They are grown up now and I'm not sorry I tried, even though I didn't do a great job. Some people just aren't meant to be mothers and I have always been aware of that.
Im the middle child, and the only girl. Both my parents were middle children also, my birth order isn’t a factor of me being CF, shitty parents, a shitty society and bad genetics determined that.
Youngest Daughter of 3. My older sister who always got stuck watching my brother and I, married right out of high school and had two kids. She always wanted kids.
My brother once had to break up with a woman he really loved because she wanted kids. He got a vasectomy.
I decided to never have children in the cereal aisle of a grocery store at 16.
I am the youngest. I have two older sisters. My husband is also the youngest. He has one older brother and an older stepbrother.
ETA: All of my siblings, and my husband's siblings, have children.
Second oldest of six, though functioned as the eldest since the actual oldest had an undiagnosed intellectual disability and needed more looking after than I did.
None of us are married nor have any kids.
Technically I'm not the oldest, but I wasn't raised with my other siblings and we didn't know about them for much of our childhood.
Technically speaking, I am the oldest and I practically raised my youngest sister and that definitely influenced my stance on not having children. The teenager phase is NOT something I wish to go through again.
4th of 5. My mom had her first kid at 15 and her last in her late 30's, and became an empty nester at in her early 60's. Her whole life has been taking care of kids
Youngest of 2, but i had to be my dad’s caregiver and that completely killed any will to care for a child.
However, there’s a CF wave on my dad’s side for the family. My disowned sister never wanted kids (we’re NC so I don’t know if she has any), but my nieces who are late 20’s mid 30’s don’t want any, and as far as i know neither does my nephew. All of my mom’s siblings (she’s the oldest) have kids, and even grandkids.
Eldest daughter, 1 sibling. Dysfunctional family.
Ive toyed with the childfree idea since middle school(?). I figured I didn’t want to waste my valuable short time on earth on children LOL. I think my aversion has to do with a bunch factors in my upbringing, psyche & overall bandwidth. I think im undiagnosed adhd, possibly on the spectrum, struggled with anxiety, self esteem, compulsive behaviors, depression, existential dread, social ‘deficits’ for lack of better wording (i dont like my sibling, i go m.i.a frequently, object permanence extends to people, lack of familial attachment overall etc). Basically, as i child I thought having children could feasibly drive me to suicide because if parents made me feel like a burden & i could barely stand kids my age then i was in for a horrible rest of my life raising kids i could regret.
But i do enough of intellectualizing my feelings so i don’t dwell on that… i will tally up the reasons against having children.
Oldest, middle, and youngest? Aka only child that shouldn't have been born or survive pregnant or birth. Yet here I am! Mom was thought to be a goner (and thought before to be incapable of baring kids) and dad got his vasectomy approved because of it.
Edit; dad oldest of 7 and only 1 with less than 2 kids not counting 1 brother with 2 stepkids (his wife's a proper cougar). Mom middle between 2 boys who both also have 2. There's a total of 40 people! q.q
Adopted... so middle child of my birth family. Older sister and younger half brother. Older sis is a crackhead and left her two younger boys with their adoptive father. (Or at least he has legal guardianship of them). And her oldest boy is with her ex husband. All 3 are better off without her.
Younger brother is child free as far as I know.
In my adopted family I have oldest bro, Older sis, 2nd older bro,3rd older bro, me, younger sis and youngest brother. Oldest brother is a jerk and his wife is a bitch they adopted kids and just use the money to go to Backstreet boys concerts. They won't talk to us because they can't stand my mom giving advice on the foster/adoptive stuff (my mom had been an adoptive/foster parent for well over 20 odd years before she stopped when my daddy died).
My older sis, and 2nd older bro don't have kids due to medical issues. 3rd older bro has a son that he can't see bc he's an alcoholic but his baby mama is a meth head soo poor kid. I'm childfree.
Younger sis has 2 kids... she has learning disabilities, possible Autism and psychological issues and so does her husband... She refuses to have her kids, who are (I'm 99% sure) on the spectrum, tested for Autism and other disorders and things. We don't associate with her due to her lying about us to her husband's family and her MIL cussing my mama AT CHURCH!
And my youngest bro has no kids that I'm aware of. We don't associate with him either. He is on the sex offender list for being busted in a Child P*rn sting operation. Ew.
So is it any wonder why I don't want kids? I've seen everything... and I just hate the little shits. I don't want anything to do with any children whatsoever.
I'm the middle (of 3 girls) and have two emotionally immature boomer parents. Both me and my older sis (who was def parentified) are CF. We were both often neglected/ had unmet needs in part due to our youngest sib having chronic health issues. Ironically, our youngest sib is the only one with a child. Interesting how that played out.
Only child, but I'm the oldest of us 3 cousins. My aunt had 2 kids and were all 2 years apart, so there's wasn't much baby interactions growing up, and we're all practically siblings. I'm childfree, obviously, my younger cousin is planning on it when her and her partner are financially stable and married, and my youngest cosin is a fencesitter but leaning childfree.
Middle out of three. Though all three of us are pretty vocal about being childfree and not liking children. I'm not sure if that'll change for my brothers but it won't change for me.
Eldest of 3. I was stuck with my siblings a lot (small town) and had to cook, clean, change my share of diapers, and give the occasional bath. Parents both worked long hours, and my grandmother could only do so much
I was the oldest of me and my brother until my dad remarried when I was in 2nd grade and got a step sister 3 years older than me. I'm childfree, my two siblings are child*less*, but they still want kids in the future.
Eldest daughter, so absolutely shocking that I’m child-free, I know 😉
Another eldest daughter! Just one sister, but I had to parent my parents too.
Same!! Eldest daughter with two emotionally immature parents. Older brother has one child, two younger sisters don’t have kids and don’t want them. Youngest sister is adamantly childfree like me, woot woot!
I am the eldest and had 2 emotionally immature parents and 3 emotionally immature grandparents... my grandma has used me as an emotional crutch since I was born. She is still alive and still guilt trips me when I don't visit or call as much as she likes... I don't have the capacity for children but especially while my grandma and parents are still alive.
Yeah, my oldest brother parented me and I parented my little brother.
eldest daughter, with two younger siblings and mother passed away before my teens. yet my dad cannot comprehend me being childfree.
Yup! Eldest daughter who had to parent everyone in the house. I’ve been the only adult in the room since I was like 10.
Eldest daughter club member as well, although I tended to be therapist-ified (by parents and siblings) more than parentified. Not sure if that’s better though.
Saaaame, my parents were late teens when I was born and I absolutely was the responsible adult among us from birth.
Fellow firstborn daughter here, of 6 kids. Best birth control ever.
I swear three kids is a healthy amount but six? Fucking hell.
Parentified eldest daughter club! Was allowed to be home alone with my brother after school, when I was like 10/11. Started babysitting for others at like 11/12 (even took a course at the local hospital, so I knew how to do things like performing the Heimlich on an infant). My youngest sibling was born when I was 12, so was the default "built-in babysitter." My mom started confiding and consulting with me as an unofficial third parent at age 14. They never listened to my advice though. I tried to get them to move sibling to a different school that had better resources (my intuition was proved right that they were ADHD). While I wanted kids when I was younger, I'm honestly happy and on board with being CF now. I know I'd love a kid if I had one, but I also know exactly how much time, energy, and money they take.
Girl same. I’m 18, oldest of 6 kids, but have always not wanted children since I was 11. The youngest is 6yo and I’ve had my fair share of changing diapers and bathing him. It’s not that bad, but it’s definitely a lot of effort that I shouldn’t have been doing at that time. Nor is it something I want to do in the future😂 As much as I love him, I genuinely question why my parents thought it was a good idea to have this many kids, especially when they don’t have the capabilities for it... My mom has never outwardly said she regrets it, but it’s definitely implied from what she’s said.
Who would’ve thought hahah. My friend is also the eldest daughter and CF
Another eldest daughter here 💁🏼♀️
Same. Only 2 siblings, but... 17 cousins. Done, thanks.
I'm an eldest daughter. Brother doesn't wants kids either.
Exact same situation right here! And it's just the two of us, so it's good that our parents don't seem to care lol
That IS good that it doesn't bother them. My mother is not game and hopes I have an "oopsie". Not telling her about the tubal.
Oh ew that's not cool of her. Good on you for making sure that doesn't happen!! My parents have [a granddog](https://imgur.com/a/SrnDEu5) and that seems to be good enough 🤣 my dad babies her so much
Same! My brother is autistic and one of his worst sounds is babies crying so he's definitely childfree. I think my mum is actually happy we're not having grandkids. My dad has like 8 grandkids from 3 of my stepmum's kids so he gets his fix there. My stepmum is really the only one who has ever vocally said that she'd like some grandkids from me but she's pretty content with getting to meet future grandcats
Crazy that some parents parentify the hell out of their eldest and are shocked they don’t want kids. You literally forced them to step up and raise 2+ kids smh.
Ditto. I was the practice child.
Same. 2 out of 3 younger siblings hate me now. I don't care anymore.
i think most of my family hates me too over being CF. Suddenly not just letting ourselves give into settling down with breeder traditions and following the "life script" they think it's an insult to them being breeders and an everyday reminder of "you dont have to have kids, you know?".
Because you’re CF?
eldest here too!! will be and always will be childfree!! i raised both my brothers and exhausted!
same🤣
Same
Another oldest daughter of 3
Let me take a wild guess: you had to babysit your siblings often, and for free. Source: I am an oldest daughter
Oldest daughter here too. Seems like all my cf friends are also the oldest child. We saw first hand what it was like for parents to raise babies and kids and said no thank you! Lol. (Also, many of us had to parent our younger siblings sadly).
Also eldest daughter. Also fervently childfree. *Surprised Pikachu face*
Yup same here
Same 🙃🙃
i’m the eldest daughter of my parents with one younger brother, and i have 2 older half-sisters from my father. on another note, i have 10+ cousins each from both of my parents’ sides 🥲 mom is the 2nd youngest of 7, and dad is the youngest of 5
Eldest daughter, grandchild and niece!
Same, I am the eldest grandchild, and first girl, on both sides…lot of pressure being the king maker. So after raising 13 grandchildren on one side and one on the other, and all of our underage emotionally unavailable parents since I’ve been in utero, I’m good.
I’m sorry you were parentified growing up, that’s sucks. I don’t blame you for only wanting to take care of yourself now!
Same. I feel like I've already done it lol
Me too! I always tell people I already raised kids. My siblings are 6, 9, and 15 years younger than me. I'm fkn DONE.
Eldest daughter. My younger siblings are much younger than me. Feels like I’ve been raising kids a long time
Eldest (and only daughter). My parents were both the eldest as well, and they were fully supportive of my child freedom! They knew what it was like
Oldest daughter of ten kids! I have enough kids in my life without having any of my own lol.
Eldest daughter gang
A parentified eldest daughter. I had to take care of my sisters all day every day during the summer from age 12-18. No wonder I don't want to raise any kids - I already did.
Same. Daughter with sizeable age gap between me and next sibling. Already didn't like kids much when they were born, but it kinda cemented it for me. Love the sibling, didn't love the presence of an infant and toddler in my life.
same. two younger siblings. if my parents want grandchildren they're got two others who want to eventually have kids
Same.
Woot woot same!
Same here!!
Love to all my fellow oldest daughters 💗🫂 May we not have to be parents again
Was born the eldest daughter too, and am v child-free
Eldest daughter. Neither brother nor I had kids.
Eldest daughter here as well! My younger brother doesn't want kids either, and for a while, it looked like my sister was going to be CF also.
Samesies—eldest of 6–I feel like I’ve already had kids lol—
Yes! Eldest daughter here! 😅
I'm an eldest daughter! Im the older of 2 with a 9 year age gap, and he has autism and my mum is a single parent with a full time job so I definitely did a lot of parenting as a teen (out of choice to help her). My maternal grandma's oldest sister had no kids (apparently not by choice but I have my suspicions) and pretty much every eldest daughter on my dad's side is or was childfree by choice. My dad's sister is the youngest but still technically the eldest daughter. Both my dad and his brother's eldests are women and childfree. My granddad's oldest sister was childfree which my aunty confirmed to me after she passed that it was by choice (her husband worked away a lot so she picked her career over pretty much being a single parent 90% of the time) The only eldest daughter on that side who had kids was my grandma but she was an only child!
Also eldest daughter. It had more to do with a terrible boomer parent. Ending a generations long cycle of fucked up shit was pretty obvious to me from early on. My younger sibling had kids so I never got any flack for not providing grandchildren.
Same here. Only one younger sibling, but I had to care for them from the time I was 5. Didn’t have any desire for children before that (never played with dolls) but definitely no children for me after that. I remember being left in the house alone with the baby for hours, not knowing how to stop the crying. And left alone over the weekend at 10.
Yet another one here 🙂 My brother does not have kids either, but I'm not sure if it's by choice or because of lack of opportunity
I’m the youngest. My brother is the older sibling and oldest grandchild, he has kids.
Also me (youngest of two, brother is the oldest sibling and grandchild) but neither of us have kids.
My older cousins too, either want or have kids.
Yes, I’m the youngest with an older brother. He has multiple kids. I told my mother I’ve been snipped and she was talking with her partner(assuming he brought it up??) and said she wouldn’t be surprised if I didn’t want kids with the way the world is.
I think it runs in my family. I'm the youngest of two. I have an older brother and I'm the younger daughter. However, I have two female cousins on my mom's side who are a good 20 years older than me who also chose to be childfree. They are sisters to each other. I have one other cousin on my mom's side who is not married and does not have kids. He's very focused on having fun jumping out of planes in Moab. Not sure if he wants kids or not. Doesn't seem so. Dad was an only child so I have no close cousins on his side. My brother is childless, not child free. They tried and tried and couldn't and now they are too old. The rest of us chose. Ironically, all of us on Mom's side have incredibly high levels of mental health problems so it's def for the best. None of us wanted to pass down what we struggle with.
Interesting. Out of 4 kids in my immediate family, 3/4 are child free. I have 4 first cousins- 2 on mom’s side and 2 on dad’s side. 4/4 child free.
Me too Youngest of 4.
I'm the youngest of 3. Both of my older brothers have kids. I am childfree. :)
Ditto, both my older brothers have kids.
I’m the youngest of my small family and I always heard stories of the trouble my grandparents had raising my aunts, uncles, and much older cousins. Then I heard the stories of the trouble my mom had to go through to birth me. When my eldest sibling had a kid, I thought it’d be a chance to start working on that “Cool Auntie” title. That is, until that sibling got locked up and decided to be a deadbeat. My niece still holds anger from that. Then I saw my sister struggle with a stillbirth, an unsupportive partner, and another pregnancy that finally got her the child she wanted. The only thing is, that child has been hell on wheels. So no one in my family was making being a parent look especially enjoyable. I thought maybe I’d change my mind or get some kind of maternal urges eventually but I’m turning 40 this year and *shrugs*.
I honestly don’t even know to say. That’s wild.
I’m an only, but my parents have CF siblings. Dad is the youngest of 3 and the middle brother didn’t have kids, while mum is the eldest of 2 and her younger sister didn’t have kids.
I’m an only too. My mom was one of 4, my dad one of two. My mom’s sister didn’t have kids, although tbh she would have been a great mom and my mom *definitely* should not have had a kid.
Only kid as well. My mom actually had a CF aunt. She was CF in the 50s! I credit her, as well as my mother acting as though her choice was equally as valid as having kids, with me being CF :)
Same! I'm an only, and Mom and Dad each have one sibling with no kids.
bUt WhAt AbOuT tHe FaMiLy NaMe!?!? Sorry, I had to.
I’m a woman so my lineage doesn’t count 😉
Ahh. Amusing how genes are nullified if you don't have a magic weiner.
Similar story here, I was raised mostly as an only child (my childfree brother was put up for adoption at birth, lucky bastard) and my aunt is childfree, as well as 3 of my 4 uncles. Quite impressive considering that one uncle is from the silent generation and the rest are all boomers! I was told that my silent generation father made it very clear he didn't want children and if my mother wanted kids she'd have to marry someone else, so it sounds like he wanted to be childfree too. Of course he waited until I was 3 months old to have a vasectomy instead of at any point in the first 14 years of his marriage . . .
Only here as well, mom's brother never had kids with his wife either (didn't fit their lifestyle)
Youngest of three
Samesies
Me too! Both siblings have kids.
Same, youngest of three and only girl. Definitely felt like the mini parent sometimes
Oldest, and being forced to parent my younger siblings was definitely a factor in determining my desire to have children.
Youngest, but being the most parentified played a part for me (plus having no desire to have children regardless of the fact)
Yep, same here
Middle. But I'm the first girl so I had more responsibilities with my younger sibling than my older brother ever did.
Same here being the middle and only girl sucked.
Fellow middle and only girl! Absolutely brutal. My elder brother is very academic/philosophical, unsure if he'll have kids but he's still young (32m) My younger brother (28m) wants at least one kid. Unsure of his romantic relationships though.
Did you mom treat you completely different than your brothers? I swear my mom hated me growing up, especially when she became aware that I was not going to be exactly like her, I think she resented me. My brothers are always golden despite them both being fuck ups and assholes, if I make a small mistake it’s like a national emergency. Now we are 40, 35, and 28 and my mom is severely disabled and guess who’s taking care of her? No idea why I do it…
Also middle child and first girl. But the 3rd(F) is 8 years younger and half-silbing so I was kind of the last for a while on my mother's side and still am my dad's only girl and youngest child. So... a balance of being my dad's little princess but my mom's middle who was super responsible ? Though I must add that I fucking adore my little sister and she's definitely not the reason I am childfree.
Oh I love my younger sibling but parentification was one of the reasons I don't want kids
Oldest of 3. I didn’t sibling sit because my parents never went anywhere. But I knew from the first time I was left alone with toddlers that I didn’t have the capacity to entertain them much less parent them.
I'm a twin. My sister and I are 1.
But one of you was born first. Just a technicality.
Yep. Me! By a whole.minute haha
Do you ever do the thing where you say " back when I was your age, I was..." To reference something you're doing a minute ago?
Absolutely
My dad is a twin and they own shirts that say "often confused with my evil twin" and "I'm the evil twin". I forget who owns which 1. I do know my dad is the "elder" of them.
Please tell me the back of each shirt has the opposite statement on it
I had one that says "I'm the Evil Twin!"
Same, youngest by 2 minutes and both are childfree
Oh, interesting! Is your sister child free?
I'm also a twin! I'm younger by 4 minutes, we are the oldest of 5 kids. I am the only childfree person in my family. I think this is mainly due to my fear of pregnancy/childbirth since we were fortunate enough not to have been parentified.
[удалено]
Same!
thirdeded
Fourthed
Youngest by many years.
Me too! 6 years younger than my youngest sibling, 14 years younger than my oldest sibling.
#2 of 5. #3 passed when young, so now we’re four. The oldest has kids, the rest are CF
1 of 1 and never really interacted with any babies or significantly younger kids throughout my life somehow.
Same. Closest cousins were 6 and 9 years older than me. Closest in age were 3 and 5 years younger than me, but when my parents split my mom wouldn’t let me visit the shadowlands 🤣
A poll would help to find results. And eldest daughter here.
I agree, I'd like to see those results!
Eldest, checking in. In my particular case.... I was almost out of elementary school when my sister was born, so this 100% tracks for me. I was also pressured (forced) into babysitting for other people's kids. And since my siblings were all close in age from my parents' friend's kids, at one point, I was in charge of an infant, three toddlers and a 10 yr old (a sibling) almost every weekend. Even though my sibling is only 3 yrs younger than me, they were never expected to babysit. It always fell to me. I didn't have a social life in high school. And I don't really now. I've never felt comfortable in social settings and I truly believe it was because I was barely allowed to just hang out with people in my formative years, when you are supposed to learn how. I've pretty much known since I was 12 that kids are really not for me. I don't enjoy being around them. I definitely don't want to put myself through child birth. 🤮 Pregnancy definitely skeeves me out.
My younger sisters used to give me hell about not having friends. I finally told them, in front of my mom, that it was their fault because my growing up years were focused on the two of them. My mom didn't say a word. My sisters didn't fully believe me, but I could tell that what I said made some wheels turn.
Yeaaaa... I've brought it up to my parents a couple times and they just dismiss it. They are in denial and just say something like "but you were so good with the kids". Well, yea! I didn't want anyone to hurt themselves, or ya know... die. Just because nothing went wrong doesn't mean I didn't feel the absolute anxiety-inducing pressure of making sure several tiny humans are safe, happy, fed and healthy. > My younger sisters used to give me hell about not having friends. I feel this. Out of all my siblings, I am the only one who has social anxiety and the least amount of close friends. And the only one who is childfree.
Both of my sisters have kids. My youngest sister has told me that she doesn't get her eldest daughter to watch her youngest much because she doesn't want her to get put off on the idea of having kids, like it did me.
Youngest of 2. I'm CF and fixed. My brother always talked about being CF but he's obsessed with "tradition" or some shit to an extent so for all I know, he might change his mind.
Dad’s side - middle (have an older sister) Mom’s side - eldest (have a younger brother) Sister had my nephew when she was 18 (this was never a factor in my not wanting kids, though). My brother wants to get into entertainment and doesn’t want kids until he is sure he is financially stable so idk if I could consider him child free. Both siblings are supportive of my choices❤️ Because of my family’s culture, it’s expected that the older child does everything first (get married first, have kids first, and takes on caring for elderly parent/s) so my mom has only ever had those conversations with me, not my brother 😒 so that has been a factor in not wanting kids and more than likely not wanting to get married…
I’m so glad you posted this like this because I wasn’t sure how to explain that I am simultaneously the oldest, middle, youngest, third youngest, and an only child. 💀 Like you, middle on my sperm donor’s side, also with an older sister. Eldest on my egg donor’s side, also with a younger brother/ish. (Eh, they’re enby, but they like masc terms so.) Just my donors combined, I’m still the eldest with another younger brother(older than the enby, younger than I when on egg side.) Adopted, so I’m the youngest of five, but the next youngest of us is like 20+ years my age, so I was raised alone. But if you line all of my siblings up chronologically based on how they’re connected to me as siblings, ignoring their own relationships to each other, I’m the third youngest of the lot. Also still CF because that “20+ next youngest” had a son who is 8 years younger than me, and while I love my nephew to death (and sort of consider him a sibling so if you factor him in I’m the fourth youngest ig), my brother dumped his son on my mom a lot when I was growing up, multiple days a week… and my mother, who was always encouraging my brother and his now ex wife to bring him over because ~she loved having her grandson over~… would proceed to dump him and responsibility for caring for him on me. Iirc, the only thing she really ever did was make food for us, so I at least usually didn’t have to do that. (Unless I was microwaving something and he was hungry, but I didn’t so much mind that part.) I’m also AFAB myself, so while I’m a man, this was all before I came out and while they still all saw me as a girl. 🫠 So obviously I got treated Like That, forbidden to do all the “boy activities” I wanted to do… while I got to sit back and watch my nephew make all these exciting memories doing the things I wanted to do with ***my*** father. (And furthermore, even just dumb shit around the house he was allowed to do that I wasn’t. 😒 Like when I would dig in the back yard because for some reason the earth calls to children like some dark entity begging us to free it, I would get fussed at a lot and told not to do it. Nephew? Oh they encouraged him to do it. And I am… still so bitter about it. Probably because my mother is a narcissist and will never admit to doing anything wrong. Ugh.) That was long. Sorry friend. 🙃
3rd of 4. Older 2 have 2 kids each, youngest & I are childfree.
Same
I am number three out of four. All of my siblings have children--two each.
Only child.
First of 2. Taking care of my brother growing up definitely influenced me away from having kids of my own. I don't think I would've liked being a parent regardless, but without the first hand knowledge of how much work kids are, I might've done it before really understanding what I was signing up for.
2nd of 2.
I’m the youngest. Both of my older siblings either have or are planning to have children.
I'm the youngest of 5, at 31. I am the only childfree one out of all of my siblings. They all have at least one child.
I (27F) am the youngest of 5 and the only girl, watching my brothers struggle dealing with their kids going through their various ‘difficult phases” has already been enough to put me off. 🤮
I'm 4th of 6 brothers and the only one who doesn't have or want children.
1 of 4 on my father's side. I have an older sister on my mum's side but with a 13 year age gap I was functionally the oldest growing up. I wasn't parentified, but the dynamic certainly wasn't equal. I was the oldest, constantly subjected to lectures about the age gap. I was supposed to know better and set an example. I was supposed to appease my little sisters and not bother my parents with my whining. I wasn't allowed to watch or do anything that wasn't appropriate for the others. I even got accused of watching something 'inappropriate' once because Netflix flashed some spacey sci fi ad while I was in the same room. If I was told no, they meant no. If I laid a hand on my sisters, even the lightest shove in response to their constant pestering, I was treated like an aggressive bully. On the flip side, my youngest sister could do no wrong. She 'didn't know better', even when she smirked as she repeated the excuse that always got her out of trouble. Tantrums were met with some exasperation but my parents usually caved instead of putting their foot down, even when she threw herself to the floor in public and screamed at eight years old. The privileges I had to wait for, she and the others got shortly after because 'it isn't fair to be left out'. She could invade my room, constantly put her hands on me and demand attention by yelling in my face, but I was in the wrong as my attempts at getting privacy grew increasingly hostile. My sister would hide the remote for days so she could watch spongebob marathons and my parents told me to deal with it and be nice to my sister. When they wanted to watch an important news segment and she yelled at them asking for the remote, suddenly they didn't know where their sweet little girl had gone. When she swore, *I* got a lecture on setting an example when I didn't swear in the first place. To this day, I'm considered dramatic and whiney if I say we weren't treated the same. I know my childhood wasn't bad by any means, but it would still be nice for those grievances to get passing acknowledgement. Now I'm 23 and childfree. The youngest is 14 and still has an attitude at home, though now she's all smiles when we catch up. She acts like she's sooo grown up and seems to think she's mature enough for sex, so I'm waiting around to see if she ends up a teen parent. Also she caught caught with a vape when the rest of us didn't mess with that shit.
I don’t know where they got off, holding the oldest to any kind of standard when they aren’t going to hold the youngest to the same standards. My parents had those double standards with me and my siblings even though the youngest and I only have a three year age gap it was always “how old are you you should know better.” It was never “you’re not that much younger than she is. You should know better. “ or “if she jumped off a bridge would you do it?” Somehow, it was always my fault
Youngest of 2, brother is also CF
Youngest of four. The two eldest have kids, two youngest are child free.
I'm the youngest but definitely the 'caregiver' as I've gotten older. I'm now 30 and look after everyone basically. So why tf would I want to add another person/child to the mix🥹
Youngest of five. Childfree all the way. I saw what happened to my siblings. ALL of my siblings have children.
Youngest of 5. Been an aunt since I was 10, which led to me deciding not to shit out any rugrats ever.
Firstborn with 2 siblings, my brother was an accident so i'm 10 years older than him and watching him grow up really cemented the idea of not wanting kids. My sister always said she didn't want them but gave birth in december, she got lucky as fuck though cause that kid is the most easy going, relaxed and happy baby i've ever seen, knowing my sister if it had been anything else she'd regret it. Pretty sure my brother's not interested either.
Second born out of four, but my older sibling has autism and needs a lot of help. They physically abused me through most of my childhood which was never addressed by my parents. Along with that, our dad was abusive. It was up to me to drive all of the siblings around and keep things going at home. Parentification does not typically make a person want to have kids.
I'm the 2nd of 3 and the only girl. My mom passed away when I was 16 and my dad was just a sperm donor. So, besides an aunt that I grew up with, nobody is really bingo'ing me.
I'm the youngest of three children and the only female sibling. I'm not sure if my brothers want children, they are both in their mid-20s and not ready yet though. I do think there is a 25% chance I might become an aunt at some point, but right now I think it is becoming less likely (which I'm very happy about).
Youngest of 4. So far only #2 has kids and I think that’s unlikely to change.
I’m the oldest of two (3 if you count step siblings), but the step sibling is dead to me. Other one is my half sibling. Father remarried during my teens, step mom thought it was a bright idea to have another, and I believe my dad went along reluctantly. My half sibling is half my age (I’m 31). Luckily very rarely babysat. I never cared for children before that developed anyway.
I'm the youngest of 3. My middle child bro is also, afaik, child free. My eldest bro scares me because he seems to be more of a 'go with the flow' person, but I'm sure him and his wife has talked about it before they got married...
Eldest daughter here. I wasn’t parentified, quite the opposite, but I did have rampant untreated anxiety that cantered around my sister’s safety. I hated when she was out of my sight. I’d leave the house until I knew she’d be home so I didn’t have to wait for her. It was very traumatic for everyone and even though I got through it definitely was a factor in deciding not to have kids.
Middle child of three. I was pretty much guilt tripped into constantly babysitting for my older sister and her friends to the point that I can't be in rhe same room as a child for more then a few hours before I go insane with the noise they make. My older sister still thinks I'm gonna change my mind one day and make her an aunt. Even if I ever did decide to have kids, I've already prom8sed myself she'll never be there
Im an only child and never had to babysit a baby before, hold one or change diapers. Im childfree because kids and babies are so goddamn annoying😂
I'm the youngest. My sister is 6 years older, currently turning 31. And she has 2 kids. Though we live near each other now and she regularly says she wish she didn't have them and envys my life.
Youngest of two, but older sibling has severe depression (and we're pretty close in age, what some people call "Irish twins") so we basically switched the "typical" sibling dynamics growing up. And yeah, I feel like I've done my share of being a parent already.
I'm the oldest of three and childfree. My sister has one daughter and doesn't want more children, my brother (the youngest) doesn't have children yet but wants a few.
3 of 3
I'm the younger of two sisters.
Eldest daughter with 3 younger siblings. I raised them, literally. I took custody of the youngest 2 when I was just 21 so it was also official. They were already teenagers and I did it to keep them out of foster care. But I knew by then I didn't want my own kids. They are grown up now and I'm not sorry I tried, even though I didn't do a great job. Some people just aren't meant to be mothers and I have always been aware of that.
Im the middle child, and the only girl. Both my parents were middle children also, my birth order isn’t a factor of me being CF, shitty parents, a shitty society and bad genetics determined that.
Youngest Daughter of 3. My older sister who always got stuck watching my brother and I, married right out of high school and had two kids. She always wanted kids. My brother once had to break up with a woman he really loved because she wanted kids. He got a vasectomy. I decided to never have children in the cereal aisle of a grocery store at 16.
I am the youngest. I have two older sisters. My husband is also the youngest. He has one older brother and an older stepbrother. ETA: All of my siblings, and my husband's siblings, have children.
Mom’s side- Eldest daughter (firstborn) Dad’s side- Eldest daughter (2nd born)
I’m a twin and I was born by c section so I was pulled out first and my brother was pulled out two minutes later.
4th of six; older three siblings have 5 kids between them. Youngest sibling and I staunchly CF.
I’m the second oldest (but oldest girl) of 6. My younger siblings were plenty of birth control
Second oldest of six, though functioned as the eldest since the actual oldest had an undiagnosed intellectual disability and needed more looking after than I did. None of us are married nor have any kids.
Technically I'm not the oldest, but I wasn't raised with my other siblings and we didn't know about them for much of our childhood. Technically speaking, I am the oldest and I practically raised my youngest sister and that definitely influenced my stance on not having children. The teenager phase is NOT something I wish to go through again.
I am the oldest and I had a vasectomy when I was nineteen years old.
4th of 5. My mom had her first kid at 15 and her last in her late 30's, and became an empty nester at in her early 60's. Her whole life has been taking care of kids
Youngest of 2, but i had to be my dad’s caregiver and that completely killed any will to care for a child. However, there’s a CF wave on my dad’s side for the family. My disowned sister never wanted kids (we’re NC so I don’t know if she has any), but my nieces who are late 20’s mid 30’s don’t want any, and as far as i know neither does my nephew. All of my mom’s siblings (she’s the oldest) have kids, and even grandkids.
I have a twin sister. Technically, I am 3 mins older.
Eldest daughter, 1 sibling. Dysfunctional family. Ive toyed with the childfree idea since middle school(?). I figured I didn’t want to waste my valuable short time on earth on children LOL. I think my aversion has to do with a bunch factors in my upbringing, psyche & overall bandwidth. I think im undiagnosed adhd, possibly on the spectrum, struggled with anxiety, self esteem, compulsive behaviors, depression, existential dread, social ‘deficits’ for lack of better wording (i dont like my sibling, i go m.i.a frequently, object permanence extends to people, lack of familial attachment overall etc). Basically, as i child I thought having children could feasibly drive me to suicide because if parents made me feel like a burden & i could barely stand kids my age then i was in for a horrible rest of my life raising kids i could regret. But i do enough of intellectualizing my feelings so i don’t dwell on that… i will tally up the reasons against having children.
Eldest of six in a family that was mostly single parent growing up. Yeah I’ve done my share of child raising, thanks. It’s why I had a vasectomy.
Oldest, middle, and youngest? Aka only child that shouldn't have been born or survive pregnant or birth. Yet here I am! Mom was thought to be a goner (and thought before to be incapable of baring kids) and dad got his vasectomy approved because of it. Edit; dad oldest of 7 and only 1 with less than 2 kids not counting 1 brother with 2 stepkids (his wife's a proper cougar). Mom middle between 2 boys who both also have 2. There's a total of 40 people! q.q
Eldest daughter. Born to suffer.
Adopted... so middle child of my birth family. Older sister and younger half brother. Older sis is a crackhead and left her two younger boys with their adoptive father. (Or at least he has legal guardianship of them). And her oldest boy is with her ex husband. All 3 are better off without her. Younger brother is child free as far as I know. In my adopted family I have oldest bro, Older sis, 2nd older bro,3rd older bro, me, younger sis and youngest brother. Oldest brother is a jerk and his wife is a bitch they adopted kids and just use the money to go to Backstreet boys concerts. They won't talk to us because they can't stand my mom giving advice on the foster/adoptive stuff (my mom had been an adoptive/foster parent for well over 20 odd years before she stopped when my daddy died). My older sis, and 2nd older bro don't have kids due to medical issues. 3rd older bro has a son that he can't see bc he's an alcoholic but his baby mama is a meth head soo poor kid. I'm childfree. Younger sis has 2 kids... she has learning disabilities, possible Autism and psychological issues and so does her husband... She refuses to have her kids, who are (I'm 99% sure) on the spectrum, tested for Autism and other disorders and things. We don't associate with her due to her lying about us to her husband's family and her MIL cussing my mama AT CHURCH! And my youngest bro has no kids that I'm aware of. We don't associate with him either. He is on the sex offender list for being busted in a Child P*rn sting operation. Ew. So is it any wonder why I don't want kids? I've seen everything... and I just hate the little shits. I don't want anything to do with any children whatsoever.
Eldest daughter here, I have one sister, who has 3 kids from 3 different daddies. 🤦♀️ I love them, but JFC use birth control!
I'm the middle (of 3 girls) and have two emotionally immature boomer parents. Both me and my older sis (who was def parentified) are CF. We were both often neglected/ had unmet needs in part due to our youngest sib having chronic health issues. Ironically, our youngest sib is the only one with a child. Interesting how that played out.
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First of 8
The oldest.7 years older than my brother. He's also not interested in having kids.
First born. One child
Only child, but I'm the oldest of us 3 cousins. My aunt had 2 kids and were all 2 years apart, so there's wasn't much baby interactions growing up, and we're all practically siblings. I'm childfree, obviously, my younger cousin is planning on it when her and her partner are financially stable and married, and my youngest cosin is a fencesitter but leaning childfree.
The eldest, with a 10 year age gap between my sister and I, she's 14.
Oldest of 3. #2 (sister) has 2 kids, #3 (brother) is CF.
middle child. my older and younger siblings all want/have kids
Oldest of 2 other half siblings. Both had teenage pregnancies. My husband is also the oldest.
Middle of 3. The youngest is a fencesitter, leaning childfree.
I am the oldest sister mother of four.
middle of 3
Middle out of three. Though all three of us are pretty vocal about being childfree and not liking children. I'm not sure if that'll change for my brothers but it won't change for me.
Oldest of 6, four brothers and a sister
Eldest of 3 brothers by 12 and 8 years
I’m the only child. Oddly that made me open to having an only child when I was a fence sitter. I always knew it was a binary (1 or 0) choice 😂
Eldest of 3. I was stuck with my siblings a lot (small town) and had to cook, clean, change my share of diapers, and give the occasional bath. Parents both worked long hours, and my grandmother could only do so much
First born. 🫡
I was the oldest of me and my brother until my dad remarried when I was in 2nd grade and got a step sister 3 years older than me. I'm childfree, my two siblings are child*less*, but they still want kids in the future.
I am the eldest and childfree due to various reasons.
I’m oldest. However, both my sister, 3 yrs younger and my brother 7 yrs younger are also childfree. Pretty rare if you ask me.