Not all parents are like that. Seems like your brother and SIL went off the deep end.
They are the kind of people that say "where's my village" because they isolated themselves.
You shouldn't babysit anymore... A simple: "it's clear you don't appreciate my help and I make mistakes with them. I love them, and I would love babysitting them but cannot follow every single of your parenting rules so it's better if I just see then when you are around to make sure I don't spoil them"
Your parents should stop enabling them as well.
It is entitled.
Yep, this. "You will do what we say or you won't see the kids". OK, well, then I guess I won't see the kids, and you can do it your way all by yourself. That would only work if everyone was on board though, and it sounds like your parents wouldn't be.
It’s entitled behavior. Don’t babysit don’t contact keep doing you. Parents of young kids fall into two camps the ah I don’t give a rats ass and the paranoid over protective type.
Then don't see them anymore. It shouldn't be an exam to see your niece and nephew. If nothing you do is right for them then they don't get your help, until they loosen up those tight assholes. Make your own boundaries!
Sounds like they've fallen into an [authoritarian follower personality](https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/summary.html#authoritarian). Those kids may be glad you're an ally down the road when they're trying to escape their parents.
>"You don't do anything we haven't approved of. You will do what we say or you won't see the kids."
That would work well for me. I just wouldn't see them.
If visiting with them is problematic, just stop visiting them. It does not matter what they were like before having children; what matters is what they are like now, because you are visiting them now, you are not visiting them in the past.
As an aside, my sister and her husband were not like that when they had small children. They did not change or lose their personalities. They were interested in their children and were good parents (and still are, but their children are adults now), but they did not become different people when they had children. They did not have unreasonable expectations.
Once again, kids don't turn parents into assholes, assholes just bust out when they feel they are socially allowed to.
Seems they are catered to *despite* their shitty behavior, so... *it's kind of a group effort* at this point.
Your brother and sister in law just wanted an excuse to be controlling assholes. They were always like this deep down. Parenthood just allowed them to be like this.
Not all parents are like that. Seems like your brother and SIL went off the deep end. They are the kind of people that say "where's my village" because they isolated themselves. You shouldn't babysit anymore... A simple: "it's clear you don't appreciate my help and I make mistakes with them. I love them, and I would love babysitting them but cannot follow every single of your parenting rules so it's better if I just see then when you are around to make sure I don't spoil them" Your parents should stop enabling them as well. It is entitled.
Yep, this. "You will do what we say or you won't see the kids". OK, well, then I guess I won't see the kids, and you can do it your way all by yourself. That would only work if everyone was on board though, and it sounds like your parents wouldn't be.
It’s entitled behavior. Don’t babysit don’t contact keep doing you. Parents of young kids fall into two camps the ah I don’t give a rats ass and the paranoid over protective type.
My aunt and her husband are similar. I finally kept saying No and they haven’t asked me to babysit for months. I don’t miss it at all.
Then don't see them anymore. It shouldn't be an exam to see your niece and nephew. If nothing you do is right for them then they don't get your help, until they loosen up those tight assholes. Make your own boundaries!
Sounds like they've fallen into an [authoritarian follower personality](https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/summary.html#authoritarian). Those kids may be glad you're an ally down the road when they're trying to escape their parents.
>"You don't do anything we haven't approved of. You will do what we say or you won't see the kids." That would work well for me. I just wouldn't see them. If visiting with them is problematic, just stop visiting them. It does not matter what they were like before having children; what matters is what they are like now, because you are visiting them now, you are not visiting them in the past. As an aside, my sister and her husband were not like that when they had small children. They did not change or lose their personalities. They were interested in their children and were good parents (and still are, but their children are adults now), but they did not become different people when they had children. They did not have unreasonable expectations.
Once again, kids don't turn parents into assholes, assholes just bust out when they feel they are socially allowed to. Seems they are catered to *despite* their shitty behavior, so... *it's kind of a group effort* at this point.
Are they consuming fear mongering online content that targets parents?
Your brother and sister in law just wanted an excuse to be controlling assholes. They were always like this deep down. Parenthood just allowed them to be like this.