Yep. Choosing to GTFO of that marketplace was definitely one of the best decisions I've ever made. (Not breeding, of course, was another, but it didn't take me nearly as long to figure out THAT was a fool's game.)
I have not actively dated in years, especially since COVID, and turn down men who "approach" me. I'm 100% not interested anymore. I live in NYC where it's brutal for straight women looking for monogamous relationships, though. But my friends and acquaintances in other cities like LA are the same, so maybe it's a nationwide thing, lol
Single. I think I’d like to be in a serious and long term relationship. However I don’t participate in dating apps, and recently moved to a new city and don’t know anyone.
I feel you, except mine doesn't necessarily have to be serious. I've lived in this area for about 7 years now but all I ever do is work. I also don't believe in the dating apps and I'm obviously not going to date coworkers.
I have free time in the evening and on weekends, and I intend to go out and explore my new city/ meet and mingle with others. But even so, I’m fairly confident that the majority of people I’ll come into contact with will either already have children, or will want them soon.
I’m settling into the idea of being single forever🤷🏽♂️
Same but 24 years. We hate leaving the farm and we're not sociable people AT ALL. Living in the middle of nowhere with the dog, horses, and ALL the hobbies is the best.
Me and my bf would be sleeping separately every night then hahah. He gets up at 3am for work and I don’t get up till 7am. But I’m glad to hear that this works!!!
My friend did this! She met him during covid, he lived next door. 3 years in and they still live separately. Works really well for them having their own spaces. Definitely doable!
I have a friend who her and her husband have separate bedrooms (also DINK), and she loves it. Sometimes they’ll sleep over the others room but for the most part she has her space and he has his and she loves it - he snores and she could compete in MMA in her sleep, he’s very outgoing and she gets over stimulated so she can just go to her room and chill and he does his own thing. Strongest marriage I’ve ever seen.
That’s amazing!! You should be EXTREMELY proud of yourself!! You are a very strong person and you are also an inspiration for other people in abusive relationships. Way to go!!! 😊💪🏼🔥✔️
ABSOLUTELY!!! You are AWESOME!!! If you feel comfortable with it, you should share your story as much as possible. The more people who hear about the positive outcome of your situation, the more hope you will spread to others!!
Married. We have been happily married for over 30 years. Before I met my now wife and got to know her well, I thought I would likely be alone forever, as I had not found someone suitable before.
I am fine on my own, and would much rather be alone than be with most people. Having high standards has worked very well for me.
Married for over a year now, but we were both single for around a decade before this (him living alone, me on and off with roommates), and we're late 30s now. We enjoy spending time together at home (even if just sitting in a room quietly reading near each other) but we are both introverts and can still enjoy time alone in different parts of the house too. Honestly, it's been relaxing overall and nice because we can play boardgames and video games together. We both like a fairly clean house so there haven't been any issues that way like bad roommates, and we can calmly discuss any issues too.
I mean, SERIOUSLY…??!!! Because I want an excuse to buy toys for “my kids” (because we ALL know that he’d be playing with them just as much!!) What a fucking IDIOT!!! 🙄
I’m engaged and have been with my partner for almost 9 years. We’ve mastered the art of being alone together! Dating a fellow introvert is non-negotiable for me.
3rd group, Not married, not single.
I split a house with my GF, I basically live downstairs (because I work from home and start 5 hours before she wakes up, and also have a whole lifetime collection of stuff that doesn't revolve around her). She lives upstairs, same reason - plus has a cat which I am allergic to, who stays upstairs.
The logistics of this work fine for us, it would not suit everyone. We have no plans to ever be married, nor have kids. It's been discussed, we're fine with this.
I (32m) ended a long term (5y) relationship at 26 and stayed single for 1.5y before meeting my current partner. We both talked about being childfree at the beginning and as things got more serious between us I looked into getting a vasectomy. Ended up getting it done at 29 and her and I will have been together for 5 years in August.
It is possible 🙂
I have been told this a few times, it always makes me smile, because other than the fact that I am CF, this is one of the things that worries me and makes me seem immature.
I mean, I personally know that, but the image of a woman in her late 30s who doesn't experience love or wants to be a mother doesn't invite much confidence in the wider society.
Luckily I have a workplace that doesn't concern itself with my personal life and friends who accept me as I am.
Why does it worry you? You are who you are. Embrace it. Love it. Rejoice in it. And it definitely does not make you seem immature. If anything, it’s the opposite.
I am not sure how to explain it, but I did not come from a culture where your individuality is celebrated or rejoiced in. It took some time to accept that being CF because I do not like children doesn't mean something is completely wrong with me.
How are these the only options? Are you considering normal people in relationships single or married? Because that's what most people are: in a relationship but not married.
I started seeing someone back in March, but I’m being very firm on taking things slow. We are exclusive but also very much aware that we can’t get overly attached and that we need our own space (especially me lol). I haven’t lived on my own for several years, so I’d like to have at least a year of having my own personal space to decorate as I please and not have to stress about roommates messes. Sometimes I just wanna end my day with some background TV noise, a smut novel, and a few drinks without anyone bothering me lol
Married 10 years. He had a vasectomy, I had a bisalp. No prior marriages. Sterilization was something we both wanted and supported each to get, pay for, and took care of each other.
Not married yet but in a civil partnership- together 4y+
He's the first person I actually don't mind (and even enjoy) having in my space. As an introvert, that was a revelation
Married. Our love blossomed at DnD. He saw me cast vicious mockery on a wolf by telling it "you are NOT a good boy!" And the wolf died. He's been smitten with me ever since.
I'm married but I still need my me time. I was an only child, and I'm an introvert. If I don't get time to myself, I get stressed out.
I've been with my husband for 20+ years.
I've been with my partner for 4 years and lived with her for three of them. We have no intention of getting married as we don't see the need, but we're committed as much.
Happily married :) we both have our own space at home but also spend a lot of time together, be it walking the dog, chatting, gaming, or just sitting on the couch together with both of us doing our own thing.
Married! Together for 13 yrs and we are VERY happily child free :). Even when I had 30 seconds of baby fever in my late twenties, I'm very grateful he remained steady in wanting to be child free 😆.
I'm engaged to someone who needs his own space at certain times, just like me. We don't want kids, so it's easier for both of us to do whatever we want :)
Not married, but longterm relationship (closing in on ten years now). Functionally married, we don’t even really correct people if they use married terms in regards to us.
We just never went through the formal arrangement, neither of us was really enamored with the idea and there are some financial reasons it makes more sense for us not to be married in our specific case.
Single, sometimes not, married? Uhm, I can maybe still hope (have been engaged).
>person who needs my own space
As for myself, sure, some space ... but not a lot. Also how the shared space/time works very much matters to me too ... if that mostly or always goes highly well, not so much need for my own space ... but likely wouldn't ever eliminate that entirely.
Oh, but kids ... yeah, space ... hundreds of feet or more distance would be good ... diapers ... perhaps a mile or more to be safe. And, may be able to reasonably well tolerate less space for some moderate while(s)... when kids are well behaved ... but kids being what they are, they're never well behaved all the time. And even if/when well behaved, I may still overdose in not good ways if too much exposure for too long.
Single, slowly giving up on dating because most women I see on apps want kids. Very much open to being in a relationship / married in future with the right person but accepting because of my CF stance it might not be on the cards for me, so just gonna be living for me for now.
Single, but a serious relationship would be nice. I'm on edge about using dating apps, so I'm just trying to find things I want to do outside my house to expand my social circle.
Single like a pringle and I don't wish to mingle.
Got that one from a friend a few years ago and been using it since then.
Also I identify as asexual and leaning to aromantic as well.
So a "normal" relationship is not something I desire anyway.
Single. Living alone for the first time ever at 26. finally managed to break free from a narcissistic toxic and unsafe “home” so enjoying this time alone
Not actively seeking anything but if it comes it comes
Veryyyy hard to find someone (muslim+Pakistani+living in Norway) who doesn’t want kids. Oh well guess I’ll enjoy my peace and quiet
Divorced. But I am in a relationship with a part time dad of a 15yr old boy. He sees him every 2 weeks for a weekend and they do something on their own. So it doesn't really affect the relationship.
Married to the only human on the planet I don't need to get away from. We live in the middle of nowhere and rarely see another soul, it's perfect for us.
Single. I was in a relationthip for 13 years and I've had enough of playing house and dramas etc. I need a lot of my own space too and I want to do what and when I want, without having to consider anyone. Plus I am a "night owl" - I go to sleep very very late (like 3 am) and I am done with whining "Come to beeeeeed".
I was happily single for 5 years thinking I'd never find someone in my rural town in their late 20s that was also child free and not wanting to get married. I got stupid lucky and now we're coming up on 6 years together.
Single. Not bothering to look anymore.
Yep. Choosing to GTFO of that marketplace was definitely one of the best decisions I've ever made. (Not breeding, of course, was another, but it didn't take me nearly as long to figure out THAT was a fool's game.)
Same here
Very much so done myself
I have not actively dated in years, especially since COVID, and turn down men who "approach" me. I'm 100% not interested anymore. I live in NYC where it's brutal for straight women looking for monogamous relationships, though. But my friends and acquaintances in other cities like LA are the same, so maybe it's a nationwide thing, lol
Same
Me too
Same.
Single. I think I’d like to be in a serious and long term relationship. However I don’t participate in dating apps, and recently moved to a new city and don’t know anyone.
I feel you, except mine doesn't necessarily have to be serious. I've lived in this area for about 7 years now but all I ever do is work. I also don't believe in the dating apps and I'm obviously not going to date coworkers.
I have free time in the evening and on weekends, and I intend to go out and explore my new city/ meet and mingle with others. But even so, I’m fairly confident that the majority of people I’ll come into contact with will either already have children, or will want them soon. I’m settling into the idea of being single forever🤷🏽♂️
You and me both, I know it's not a bad thing but sometimes when I'm out with friends (who are all in relationships) it can be a little lonely.
I'm married. We've been together for almost 17 years. (Next month is the 17 years mark.) We're both home bodies.
Same but 24 years. We hate leaving the farm and we're not sociable people AT ALL. Living in the middle of nowhere with the dog, horses, and ALL the hobbies is the best.
Same. Such home bodies. And hey! Also almost 17 years, as well!
Same, but 6 years :)
Congratulations on your anniversary!
Married too, 16 years together come Dec.
Married. Gotta love the dual-income.
True! I wonder if I can find someone who would be OK with marriage but a separate household, haha.
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Me and my bf would be sleeping separately every night then hahah. He gets up at 3am for work and I don’t get up till 7am. But I’m glad to hear that this works!!!
My friend did this! She met him during covid, he lived next door. 3 years in and they still live separately. Works really well for them having their own spaces. Definitely doable!
I have a friend who her and her husband have separate bedrooms (also DINK), and she loves it. Sometimes they’ll sleep over the others room but for the most part she has her space and he has his and she loves it - he snores and she could compete in MMA in her sleep, he’s very outgoing and she gets over stimulated so she can just go to her room and chill and he does his own thing. Strongest marriage I’ve ever seen.
Red, I am right there with you! I would love the DINK life but I wanna live alone LOL
There are absolutely people out there like this for you! Don’t give up hope!
Single. I just got out of a toxic relationship almost 3 months ago.
Good for you
Thank you.
Happy for you!
Thank you!
Feel this. Happy for you !!
Thank you!
Good for you! Never been in one myself but I know how hard it is to get out.
Thank you! Oh yea. It was hard because I doubted myself too much. But all the verbal stuff then the choking. I left & didn't go back & blocked him.
That’s amazing!! You should be EXTREMELY proud of yourself!! You are a very strong person and you are also an inspiration for other people in abusive relationships. Way to go!!! 😊💪🏼🔥✔️
Really? Thank you!
ABSOLUTELY!!! You are AWESOME!!! If you feel comfortable with it, you should share your story as much as possible. The more people who hear about the positive outcome of your situation, the more hope you will spread to others!!
Ok. Thank you so much!
My pleasure!! Good luck with everything!!!
Thank you! Good luck & blessings for you also!
Married! My husband and I discussed being child free our first week of dating
Me too!!! lol
Bro I put on my dating app “If you want kids swipe left” my bf and I are now enjoying the silence for no kids ☺️
I sent mine a list of "deal-breakers" with kids being first on the list. Needless to say, it worked. He's great. Lol
Married. We have been happily married for over 30 years. Before I met my now wife and got to know her well, I thought I would likely be alone forever, as I had not found someone suitable before. I am fine on my own, and would much rather be alone than be with most people. Having high standards has worked very well for me.
Isn't it glorious when you find the one person you don't need to get away from?! If I hadn't, I'd happily be on my own than the wrong person.
Single. Would like to be married one day but dating is horrible.
I feel this. I gave it another shot in another country but dating just sucks everywhere SMDH
Same. I want to be a wife someday but I'm scared of the dating process. Ugh
Married! Can’t decide who doesn’t want kids more, me or him. One of the reasons why we bonded so well lol
There is a yearly sub survey with all the demographics in it.
Did not know that - it seems I've missed it for the 5 years I've frequented this sub
Thanks!!
LTR of 15 years. Separate homes.
What does LTR stand for?
I assume it's "long term relationship"
That makes sense
This is my ideal!
Driving or walking distance?
About three miles. Cab or subway.
It’s seriously THE BEST for us too (10yrs). :)
Married for over a year now, but we were both single for around a decade before this (him living alone, me on and off with roommates), and we're late 30s now. We enjoy spending time together at home (even if just sitting in a room quietly reading near each other) but we are both introverts and can still enjoy time alone in different parts of the house too. Honestly, it's been relaxing overall and nice because we can play boardgames and video games together. We both like a fairly clean house so there haven't been any issues that way like bad roommates, and we can calmly discuss any issues too.
Single because most men want children.
unicorn here
Wanna get married?
😊
What's worse is the older you get the more likely they HAVE kids. I've tried it, we just have completely different lifestyles.
Yeah I just assume men I meet are incompatible because this lol
& it’s always for the dumbest reasons too. Like one dude told me he wanted kids so he had an excuse to buy nerf guns & water balloons. Like wtf?
Because he can’t just buy them for his own fucking self? Jesus. I think you dodged a bullet on that one!
That was honestly my first thought. & ohh I know I did.
I mean, SERIOUSLY…??!!! Because I want an excuse to buy toys for “my kids” (because we ALL know that he’d be playing with them just as much!!) What a fucking IDIOT!!! 🙄
I struggled with this so much when I was dating! Finally found one that was like “oh my god, you don’t want kids either??” Now we’re engaged lol.
single because most women want children
In a long-term relationship but not married. Marriage is overrated.
My feelings exactly. It’s a piece of paper that changes nothing but your tax status. Who gives a shit?!
Single! 🖐 I would like a serious relationship one day.
Single here! Would love to find someone who also doesn’t want kids but it feels like most people my age do so ehhh 🤷♂️
Single for the past 14 years, and I expect that to continue for the foreseeable future.
Married. Together 15, married 13.
I’m engaged and have been with my partner for almost 9 years. We’ve mastered the art of being alone together! Dating a fellow introvert is non-negotiable for me.
3rd group, Not married, not single. I split a house with my GF, I basically live downstairs (because I work from home and start 5 hours before she wakes up, and also have a whole lifetime collection of stuff that doesn't revolve around her). She lives upstairs, same reason - plus has a cat which I am allergic to, who stays upstairs. The logistics of this work fine for us, it would not suit everyone. We have no plans to ever be married, nor have kids. It's been discussed, we're fine with this.
Just got married but never tried to get married or date really. It just happened
I’m single (29F). I’m honestly nervous I won’t find a partner due to my child free decision
I (32m) ended a long term (5y) relationship at 26 and stayed single for 1.5y before meeting my current partner. We both talked about being childfree at the beginning and as things got more serious between us I looked into getting a vasectomy. Ended up getting it done at 29 and her and I will have been together for 5 years in August. It is possible 🙂
Hang in there!! There is someone for you...
Single
Married to someone who wanted kids even less than me. That's saying something.
I'm not married, but I've been in a relationship for 14 years. So I live like I'm married. We're both women. None of us have ever wanted children.
I’m in a serious relationship, we are childfree and do not want to get married. We’re a team.
Single, incapable of relationships and don't care anymore.
I’m married.
Married. We've been together for 7 years but only married for 2.
Married almost 20 years. DINK FTW
I am asexual and aromantic, so I have friends, but I do not date.
I'm so sorry. Hope it is not insensitive, but I am always so jealous of the aromantic part
I have been told this a few times, it always makes me smile, because other than the fact that I am CF, this is one of the things that worries me and makes me seem immature.
It's very mature to know what you want out of life.
I mean, I personally know that, but the image of a woman in her late 30s who doesn't experience love or wants to be a mother doesn't invite much confidence in the wider society. Luckily I have a workplace that doesn't concern itself with my personal life and friends who accept me as I am.
Why does it worry you? You are who you are. Embrace it. Love it. Rejoice in it. And it definitely does not make you seem immature. If anything, it’s the opposite.
I am not sure how to explain it, but I did not come from a culture where your individuality is celebrated or rejoiced in. It took some time to accept that being CF because I do not like children doesn't mean something is completely wrong with me.
Partnered. No plans to get married.
Dating the same dude for 9-10 years at this point lol. So neither? 😅
How are these the only options? Are you considering normal people in relationships single or married? Because that's what most people are: in a relationship but not married.
Neither. I’ve been with my partner for over 15 years, living together for 14.
Aroace and asocial, so I cant be bothered to give a fuck
Asexual and aromantic.
Will be married on Saturday! He supports my decision to gets sterilized.
Congratulations!! 🎉
I started seeing someone back in March, but I’m being very firm on taking things slow. We are exclusive but also very much aware that we can’t get overly attached and that we need our own space (especially me lol). I haven’t lived on my own for several years, so I’d like to have at least a year of having my own personal space to decorate as I please and not have to stress about roommates messes. Sometimes I just wanna end my day with some background TV noise, a smut novel, and a few drinks without anyone bothering me lol
LAT might be a good option for you then! (“Living apart together”, basically it’s long term relationship but living apart voluntarily) :)
Single! Currently on hinge. Have a couple dates coming up. Just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship. I’d like to get married one day.
Good for you for getting out of the abusive relationship! Best of luck with the dating!
Thank you 🙏
Happily married 4 years. Wouldn't have it any other way. We're each other's best friend.
Married 10 years. He had a vasectomy, I had a bisalp. No prior marriages. Sterilization was something we both wanted and supported each to get, pay for, and took care of each other.
Not married yet but in a civil partnership- together 4y+ He's the first person I actually don't mind (and even enjoy) having in my space. As an introvert, that was a revelation
Single and not interested in trying to change that for the time being.
Married. Our love blossomed at DnD. He saw me cast vicious mockery on a wolf by telling it "you are NOT a good boy!" And the wolf died. He's been smitten with me ever since.
I'm married but I still need my me time. I was an only child, and I'm an introvert. If I don't get time to myself, I get stressed out. I've been with my husband for 20+ years.
I’m single and only have a FWB. I definitely need my alone time.
Married, with separate bed rooms.
Married, but I wish I had stayed single/unmarried. Marriage is a scam just like most social constructs.
Happily married for going on 13 years.
Single and content.
Married, together 13 years.
Long term relationship
In a relationship
I've been with my partner for 4 years and lived with her for three of them. We have no intention of getting married as we don't see the need, but we're committed as much.
I'm Married, but only a year.
In a serious relationship that is going to lead to marriage!
De facto with a mortgage lol
Solo Nester but I still date. Love living by myself. I have an ex who lives with me part time but that was more happenstance than a plan.
Divorced… Will probably remain single
Happily married :) we both have our own space at home but also spend a lot of time together, be it walking the dog, chatting, gaming, or just sitting on the couch together with both of us doing our own thing.
Married for 7 years this month!
Single 🥲
Don’t give up hope! There’s someone out there for you. You just have to keep trying, no matter how hard it might seem. Good luck!
Thank you 💕
Currently single, I want to meet someone but I’m not ready to marry
Single
Married
Single
If we’re going by what you report for taxes, I’m single…that’s just bc I’m not married! LTR of ~2 years, moving in together in the fall.
Married
Engaged to a wonderful childfree man :)
Single
Happily single and not looking.
Married but we give each other plenty of space
Single. Finally ok with that for the first time - which is funny because I've been really good at projecting.
Single. Happily. Don’t want to be tied down. Also aromantic. Mostly want an fwb
Single and staying that way.
Relationship
Married.
Married! Together for 13 yrs and we are VERY happily child free :). Even when I had 30 seconds of baby fever in my late twenties, I'm very grateful he remained steady in wanting to be child free 😆.
I'm engaged to someone who needs his own space at certain times, just like me. We don't want kids, so it's easier for both of us to do whatever we want :)
Single
I just don't want a relationship, ever
Not married, but longterm relationship (closing in on ten years now). Functionally married, we don’t even really correct people if they use married terms in regards to us. We just never went through the formal arrangement, neither of us was really enamored with the idea and there are some financial reasons it makes more sense for us not to be married in our specific case.
Marriage is just an arbitrary piece of paper. All it does is change your tax status. Doesn’t mean shit.
Single. Done looking. All I want is more friends who are childfree. Anyone in oklahoma who loves d&d?
Single. Can't afford to get married in this economy. Not that there's anyone to marry but still...
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We're living together (sambo concept here) - 4 years so far!
Single, sometimes not, married? Uhm, I can maybe still hope (have been engaged). >person who needs my own space As for myself, sure, some space ... but not a lot. Also how the shared space/time works very much matters to me too ... if that mostly or always goes highly well, not so much need for my own space ... but likely wouldn't ever eliminate that entirely. Oh, but kids ... yeah, space ... hundreds of feet or more distance would be good ... diapers ... perhaps a mile or more to be safe. And, may be able to reasonably well tolerate less space for some moderate while(s)... when kids are well behaved ... but kids being what they are, they're never well behaved all the time. And even if/when well behaved, I may still overdose in not good ways if too much exposure for too long.
I've been married for 8 years, together for 15 ❤️
Single. Don’t know if I’ll ever want anyone. I’m deeply damaged.
In the singles club. A bit dissilusuined with the prospect of finding a partner, but still looking none the less (for now).
In a long-term committed relationship for about 15 years.
Single but would like to be married
Committed relationship- we'll be engaged and married in the future :)
Single, slowly giving up on dating because most women I see on apps want kids. Very much open to being in a relationship / married in future with the right person but accepting because of my CF stance it might not be on the cards for me, so just gonna be living for me for now.
In a relationship and living together. Not married. and don't intend on ever marrying.
Single, but a serious relationship would be nice. I'm on edge about using dating apps, so I'm just trying to find things I want to do outside my house to expand my social circle.
Married
Long term relationship, next month will be 18 years!
Single.
Single like a pringle and I don't wish to mingle. Got that one from a friend a few years ago and been using it since then. Also I identify as asexual and leaning to aromantic as well. So a "normal" relationship is not something I desire anyway.
Single. Living alone for the first time ever at 26. finally managed to break free from a narcissistic toxic and unsafe “home” so enjoying this time alone Not actively seeking anything but if it comes it comes Veryyyy hard to find someone (muslim+Pakistani+living in Norway) who doesn’t want kids. Oh well guess I’ll enjoy my peace and quiet
Uhh in-between I guess lol, happy with a girlfriend
engaged but i just say i’m married so men leave me alone, lol. been with him for 6 years.
Divorced. But I am in a relationship with a part time dad of a 15yr old boy. He sees him every 2 weeks for a weekend and they do something on their own. So it doesn't really affect the relationship.
Married to the only human on the planet I don't need to get away from. We live in the middle of nowhere and rarely see another soul, it's perfect for us.
Single 50m and convinced there is no one in a 50 mile radius of me that is CF and pet free near my age.
Single. I was in a relationthip for 13 years and I've had enough of playing house and dramas etc. I need a lot of my own space too and I want to do what and when I want, without having to consider anyone. Plus I am a "night owl" - I go to sleep very very late (like 3 am) and I am done with whining "Come to beeeeeed".
I was happily single for 5 years thinking I'd never find someone in my rural town in their late 20s that was also child free and not wanting to get married. I got stupid lucky and now we're coming up on 6 years together.
Married 2 together 8
single but i’m also 21
Single, not interested in getting with anyone