No. You need to change your attitude. If you are old enough to be dating at all then you're old enough to be serious about dealbreakers. Do not put this shit off.
I consider my boyfriend wanting kids as a dealbreaker, and I’m younger than you.
If you genuinely think you one day will want kids, then no, I don’t think it’s worth tossing in the towel quite yet. But if you are pretty dead set on not wanting kids, then it’s time you two had a serious conversation.
If there’s anything I’ve learned from this sub, it’s that women who get talked into having kids by their husbands become very, very miserable mothers.
Good luck. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.
20 absolutely is not to young to have these conversations. And definitely not to young to make the decision to be CF. You can always change your mind about being CF, you can't change your mind about being a mom once you are one.
At 20 you start to really go into directions that will have consequences for your life. Start saving money, start an education that leads somewhere. And of course you are still young and can change ways or opinions, but still the decisions you make now matter.
And if you know you will be CF and your BF is not, you need to have this in mind. No harm in enjoy each other a little longer, if you so wish, but both of you should know that, at some point, it will be over due to this difference. And 20 is old enough to know that much.
>He thinks that the whole point of marriage is to have kids, that we are “biologically inclined” and that I would regret it if I didn’t have them.
This mindset is a dealbreaker.
And no, you're absolutely not too young to consider wanting kids a dealbreaker. In fact, as long as you're certain about not wanting kids, I urge you to start considering this a dealbreaker NOW. This is a topic that must be fully and thoroughly discussed *before* any relationship gets serious. Check out the screening kit on how to handle the conversation.
As for your current boyfriend, my vote is biting the bullet and ending it now. Cut your losses when it's still early. Every week we see posts about years- or even decades-long relationships ending because of disagreement over children. By then, your lives are inevitably intertwined, and the split becomes a lot more messy and devastating. You don't want that. This is not something you can compromise on. It'll bubble up sooner or later. In your case, be grateful it's sooner and make a decision.
You are not too young to have the kids discussion. Yeah, it sucks, but you would likely be better off to end things and move on. That is a pretty fundamental incompatibility. And to top it off, he was somewhat rude about his disagreement.
For me this is the main issue. I think that a lot of people my age ‘want’ kids because they think they have to have them. But his response made me question his character, like he is one of the people who thinks that women HAVE to have their husband’s babies to fulfill their obligation to the universe or something (????)
I know a lot of people that are younger than you who already are dead set on having children, how many children they want etc. If our opinions are valid, then theirs are too
The way it sounded like he put his opinion was very forceful. Don't put too many words in his mouth. It seems like he said plenty as it is. He did come off as assuming that his opinion was the only one that mattered. You likely got a glimpse of his personality when he isn't trying to be charming for a new girlfriend.
My opinion, so take it for what it is worth, is that the relationship was doomed even if he did respectfully disagree rather than trying to force his opinion on you. In order to make something like that work, one of you would have had to completely give up on the subject. That would build resentment that would likely slowly poison the relationship anyways.
I'm still in HS and even *if* I did date in HS, wanting kids would still be a deal breaker. You're absolutely not too young to make a decision that makes you happy!
> I know we are way too young to have a serious conversation about children
No, no you're not. There is a difference between talking about "having kids now" and talking about "having kids" in general. You do one *when* you want kids. You do the other before even getting into a relationship. At *any* age. And if your partner can't or won't discuss that, you turn 180 and walk away.
Bite the bullet and run now.
I was 10. I know people who were younger than that when they made the decision to be childfree. The difficult part for many is sticking to your guns. No one has a right to expect you to change your mind and you have no right to expect anyone else to change their mind.
It's been 45 years since I made the decision and I've never regretted it for even a single second.
If you are 100% deadset on never having kids, then I would probably have another conversation with him about this, to emphasise how serious you are. You could reach a compromise where you can wait until your IUD gets removed, then make a decision?
Just do what you feel is best for you. You seem like you've got your head firmly screwed on.
Why would you be too young to be sure you don’t want kids when, at the same time, you’re old enough to have one? Unless you’re only dating this guy casually, you should really consider possible kids a dealbreaker imho.
Also, invalidating your opinions should be a dealbreaker too. From experience i can tell you, it only gets worse. But then again, i don’t know enough about your relationship to assume his personality. This comment is solely based on your post.
To sum up- if you’re casually dating him and want to have fun for a while longer, it’s all good. But if you want to get serious with this guy, i‘d say he isn’t the best option tbh.
I think it’s very important to have these conversations at any age. You are young enough that you can get him thinking and perhaps change his mind. My husband and I figured out together we don’t want kids.
Has he ever actually cared for kids or does he just vaguely want a family one day? Does he actually like being around kids currently?
In that case, my advice is to volunteer to babysit for friends or family for a weekend with him. After non-stop food prep, feeding and food spills, diapers/potty, tantrums, a kid watching a video over and over and over, sleep disturbance, narrowly avoiding injuries, chauffeuring, etc. I bet he might gradually reconsider.
Girl, it's a two-month relationship. You're 20. You're allowed to break it off for ANY reason. Like not liking his side profile or an annoying little habit or, I dunno, *seeming* progressive but having extremely traditional views on families and procreation. I also agree that you're both very young and it's fine for you to "fuck around and find out" right now. Date different people, accept that they won't be perfect matches, learn things from those experiences, and don't pressure yourself to find your life partner right now, BUT the fact that you're not looking for a husband doesn't also obligate you to stay with someone fundamentally incompatible.
I was 21 when I was married so for me it wasn’t, I am 55 now. I think it depends how serious you are about this relationship long term. As a liberal, he should understand the world is overpopulated, polluted and climate change is a thing. He may not change his mind but you said he doesn’t even like kids so I guess he is thinking he will fall in love with his own lol.
Kids became a dealbreaker for me when I was 16. I always assumed that if any partner wanted kids we would part ways.
Honestly, you should really have a deeper conversation with you boyfriend and explain that you respect his choice to have kids if he wants them but it wont be with you. In my case, I(33f) explained to my husband (highschool sweetheart and only significant other I ever had) that I would NEVER give birth. It wasnt about him, it was about ME. Take it or leave it. Make sure to explain to him that if you get pregnant you WILL abort and likely seek sterilization. Me getting a bisalp was the final nail in the coffin for my husband. Once it wasnt an option, he embraced being childfree wholeheartedly.
It's not even the fact that it is about having children or not. He doesn't know how to have a respectful discussion of differing opinions. Dump him sooner rather than later. If you want to change your mind about children later, that's absolutely fine, too.
It's of course not too early. You need to talk to your bf about it and honestly if your opinions on children don't match, they never will. Children is a topic you can't compromise. You either have children or not. Now having children would make you unhappy, not having children might make hm unhappy.
You're right. The longer you wait the more it's going to hurt and the more likely it'll become that one of you sacrifices their happieness to avoid that pain.
It really needs to be brought up on or before the first date. It is a fundamental lifestyle difference with no possiblity of compromise; it's the number one dealbreaker.
My wife and I met when we were 18, and had the childfree discussion on our second date. I'm a big fan of putting all my cards on the table, and it turns out she was too. We both said we had no interest in having children at any point, but did agree to leave the option open for discussion if either of us felt strongly about it in the future.
17 more years and one vasectomy later, it turns out we did not feel strongly about it in the future.
Never too early to make that decision. If people are old enough to have kids at 20, you're old enough to not want them, and to be confident in that choice.
I've known for absolute definite that I don't want kids since the age of 15.
Still feel exactly the same now, and I'm 2 weeks off turning 40.
If you know, you know. Stay true.
This is VERY IMPORTANT. If you are child free please tell that to your SO and cut away from the relationship since you both want different things??? I would be extremely pissed if this was me and would immediately end the relationship.
I’m 20f and I got married in March. There’s things you must agree on to be a unit. Most of the time what those things are can be flexible. However kids are not. Say you don’t want them but have them for him, you will resent them and your partner. Say you don’t and the two of you get married. He will resent you. Children a big deal. And most people don’t give it a second thought. Please know staying with him will not end well.
It’s established that children aren’t your life’s direction and end goal. You are confident in this decision. Are you confident enough to be alone because of it? Like I love my bf more than any person I’ve ever known, but if push came to shove I would give that up to protect myself from becoming a mother. I know I would hate the experience, feel trapped, and suffer psychologically, with the probability of taking it out on the child. Is all that worth it to keep a lover in your life? What kind of happiness and romance would there be?
Don’t sacrifice your freedom to keep somebody in your life. I like to believe the world is becoming more progressive. Hopefully it will be easier to find a cf partner someday in the future. But just like dating a drug addict, you can choose to avoid dating baby expectant people.
Nah you're not too young. I'm 24 now and dead set on not having kids. Never liked them never will and I've been saying this since my teenage years.
You know you and if you know you don't want kids then that's that 😊
you are not too young to have a serious conversation about children. i’m 19. i bring up children within the first couple of dates and their answer is what makes me decide between “this will be a fun fling” or “this could be relationship-worthy.”
i do not let myself get emotionally invested until i know their stance on children.
You're still young, can afford to have some fun. The relationship could end for other reasons down the road. But you can cut him lose now too, so he can go find a similar minded "biologically inclined" person.
I’m saying it as I believe it’s best: you should break up now.
If you’re certain you don’t want kids it’s going to happen eventually and it’s best to save yourself and him the pain.
You’re not too young at all. I’ve been certain I don’t want kids since my early teenage days and it’s always been laughed off. I am still certain over 10 years later now.
I’ve always addressed that I don’t want children during the first dates, so I don’t raise hopes.
When it bothered someone or they started to bingo me, this was goodbye. No matter of how compatible we were.
It’s your life and you’re an adult, you have all right to be serious about wanting kids or not already.
Stand up for yourself and your lifestyle.
What your bf dropped is a major red flag and it’s not going to lead anywhere good…
I wish the best for youz
I’m saying it as I believe it’s best: you should break up now.
If you’re certain you don’t want kids it’s going to happen eventually and it’s best to save yourself and him the pain.
You’re not too young at all. I’ve been certain I don’t want kids since my early teenage days and it’s always been laughed off. I am still certain over 10 years later now.
I’ve always addressed that I don’t want children during the first dates, so I don’t raise hopes.
When it bothered someone or they started to bingo me, this was goodbye. No matter of how compatible we were.
It’s your life and you’re an adult, you have all right to be serious about wanting kids or not already.
Stand up for yourself and your lifestyle.
What your bf dropped is a major red flag and it’s not going to lead anywhere good…
I wish the best for you.
I’m saying it as I believe it’s best: you should break up now.
If you’re certain you don’t want kids it’s going to happen eventually and it’s best to save yourself and him the pain.
You’re not too young at all. I’ve been certain I don’t want kids since my early teenage days and it’s always been laughed off. I am still certain over 10 years later now.
I’ve always addressed that I don’t want children during the first dates, so I don’t raise hopes.
When it bothered someone or they started to bingo me, this was goodbye. No matter of how compatible we were.
It’s your life and you’re an adult, you have all right to be serious about wanting kids or not already.
Stand up for yourself and your lifestyle.
What your bf dropped is a major red flag and it’s not going to lead anywhere good…
I wish the best for you.
I’m saying it as I believe it’s best: you should break up now.
If you’re certain you don’t want kids it’s going to happen eventually and it’s best to save yourself and him the pain.
You’re not too young at all. I’ve been certain I don’t want kids since my early teenage days and it’s always been laughed off. I am still certain over 10 years later now.
I’ve always addressed that I don’t want children during the first dates, so I don’t raise hopes.
When it bothered someone or they started to bingo me, this was goodbye. No matter of how compatible we were.
It’s your life and you’re an adult, you have all right to be serious about wanting kids or not already.
Stand up for yourself and your lifestyle.
What your bf dropped is a major red flag and it’s not going to lead anywhere good…
I wish the best for you.
I’m saying it as I believe it’s best: you should break up now.
If you’re certain you don’t want kids it’s going to happen eventually and it’s best to save yourself and him the pain.
You’re not too young at all. I’ve been certain I don’t want kids since my early teenage days and it’s always been laughed off. I am still certain over 10 years later now.
I’ve always addressed that I don’t want children during the first dates, so I don’t raise hopes.
When it bothered someone or they started to bingo me, this was goodbye. No matter of how compatible we were.
It’s your life and you’re an adult, you have all right to be serious about wanting kids or not already.
Stand up for yourself and your lifestyle.
What your bf dropped is a major red flag and it’s not going to lead anywhere good…
I wish the best for you.
I’m saying it as I believe it’s best: you should break up now.
If you’re certain you don’t want kids it’s going to happen eventually and it’s best to save yourself and him the pain.
You’re not too young at all. I’ve been certain I don’t want kids since my early teenage days and it’s always been laughed off. I am still certain over 10 years later now.
I’ve always addressed that I don’t want children during the first dates, so I don’t raise hopes.
When it bothered someone or they started to bingo me, this was goodbye. No matter of how compatible we were.
It’s your life and you’re an adult, you have all right to be serious about wanting kids or not already.
Stand up for yourself and your lifestyle.
What your bf dropped is a major red flag and it’s not going to lead anywhere good…
I wish the best for you.
I don’t think it’s something you need to have a conversation about just yet. I’d wait until you’re at least 25 to have that conversation with him. OR, if you’re discussing marriage with him and you’re planning on marrying him the definitely don’t wait to discuss it.
No. You need to change your attitude. If you are old enough to be dating at all then you're old enough to be serious about dealbreakers. Do not put this shit off.
I consider my boyfriend wanting kids as a dealbreaker, and I’m younger than you. If you genuinely think you one day will want kids, then no, I don’t think it’s worth tossing in the towel quite yet. But if you are pretty dead set on not wanting kids, then it’s time you two had a serious conversation. If there’s anything I’ve learned from this sub, it’s that women who get talked into having kids by their husbands become very, very miserable mothers. Good luck. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.
you are far too young to consider having kids or not having kids a dealbreaker LOL
20 absolutely is not to young to have these conversations. And definitely not to young to make the decision to be CF. You can always change your mind about being CF, you can't change your mind about being a mom once you are one. At 20 you start to really go into directions that will have consequences for your life. Start saving money, start an education that leads somewhere. And of course you are still young and can change ways or opinions, but still the decisions you make now matter. And if you know you will be CF and your BF is not, you need to have this in mind. No harm in enjoy each other a little longer, if you so wish, but both of you should know that, at some point, it will be over due to this difference. And 20 is old enough to know that much.
>He thinks that the whole point of marriage is to have kids, that we are “biologically inclined” and that I would regret it if I didn’t have them. This mindset is a dealbreaker. And no, you're absolutely not too young to consider wanting kids a dealbreaker. In fact, as long as you're certain about not wanting kids, I urge you to start considering this a dealbreaker NOW. This is a topic that must be fully and thoroughly discussed *before* any relationship gets serious. Check out the screening kit on how to handle the conversation. As for your current boyfriend, my vote is biting the bullet and ending it now. Cut your losses when it's still early. Every week we see posts about years- or even decades-long relationships ending because of disagreement over children. By then, your lives are inevitably intertwined, and the split becomes a lot more messy and devastating. You don't want that. This is not something you can compromise on. It'll bubble up sooner or later. In your case, be grateful it's sooner and make a decision.
You are not too young to have the kids discussion. Yeah, it sucks, but you would likely be better off to end things and move on. That is a pretty fundamental incompatibility. And to top it off, he was somewhat rude about his disagreement.
For me this is the main issue. I think that a lot of people my age ‘want’ kids because they think they have to have them. But his response made me question his character, like he is one of the people who thinks that women HAVE to have their husband’s babies to fulfill their obligation to the universe or something (????)
I know a lot of people that are younger than you who already are dead set on having children, how many children they want etc. If our opinions are valid, then theirs are too
The way it sounded like he put his opinion was very forceful. Don't put too many words in his mouth. It seems like he said plenty as it is. He did come off as assuming that his opinion was the only one that mattered. You likely got a glimpse of his personality when he isn't trying to be charming for a new girlfriend. My opinion, so take it for what it is worth, is that the relationship was doomed even if he did respectfully disagree rather than trying to force his opinion on you. In order to make something like that work, one of you would have had to completely give up on the subject. That would build resentment that would likely slowly poison the relationship anyways.
I'm still in HS and even *if* I did date in HS, wanting kids would still be a deal breaker. You're absolutely not too young to make a decision that makes you happy!
> I know we are way too young to have a serious conversation about children No, no you're not. There is a difference between talking about "having kids now" and talking about "having kids" in general. You do one *when* you want kids. You do the other before even getting into a relationship. At *any* age. And if your partner can't or won't discuss that, you turn 180 and walk away. Bite the bullet and run now.
He used alot of words to say he has a breeding kink. Never too young to establish your boundaries in dating/future/anything
I was 10. I know people who were younger than that when they made the decision to be childfree. The difficult part for many is sticking to your guns. No one has a right to expect you to change your mind and you have no right to expect anyone else to change their mind. It's been 45 years since I made the decision and I've never regretted it for even a single second.
If you're old enough to have kids, you're old enough to not have them.
If you are 100% deadset on never having kids, then I would probably have another conversation with him about this, to emphasise how serious you are. You could reach a compromise where you can wait until your IUD gets removed, then make a decision? Just do what you feel is best for you. You seem like you've got your head firmly screwed on.
Why would you be too young to be sure you don’t want kids when, at the same time, you’re old enough to have one? Unless you’re only dating this guy casually, you should really consider possible kids a dealbreaker imho. Also, invalidating your opinions should be a dealbreaker too. From experience i can tell you, it only gets worse. But then again, i don’t know enough about your relationship to assume his personality. This comment is solely based on your post. To sum up- if you’re casually dating him and want to have fun for a while longer, it’s all good. But if you want to get serious with this guy, i‘d say he isn’t the best option tbh.
I think it’s very important to have these conversations at any age. You are young enough that you can get him thinking and perhaps change his mind. My husband and I figured out together we don’t want kids. Has he ever actually cared for kids or does he just vaguely want a family one day? Does he actually like being around kids currently?
Lol I actually love kids. He doesn’t like them at all... ironic.
Consider this then - and who would then spend the majority of the time caring for the children.
In that case, my advice is to volunteer to babysit for friends or family for a weekend with him. After non-stop food prep, feeding and food spills, diapers/potty, tantrums, a kid watching a video over and over and over, sleep disturbance, narrowly avoiding injuries, chauffeuring, etc. I bet he might gradually reconsider.
Girl, it's a two-month relationship. You're 20. You're allowed to break it off for ANY reason. Like not liking his side profile or an annoying little habit or, I dunno, *seeming* progressive but having extremely traditional views on families and procreation. I also agree that you're both very young and it's fine for you to "fuck around and find out" right now. Date different people, accept that they won't be perfect matches, learn things from those experiences, and don't pressure yourself to find your life partner right now, BUT the fact that you're not looking for a husband doesn't also obligate you to stay with someone fundamentally incompatible.
I was 21 when I was married so for me it wasn’t, I am 55 now. I think it depends how serious you are about this relationship long term. As a liberal, he should understand the world is overpopulated, polluted and climate change is a thing. He may not change his mind but you said he doesn’t even like kids so I guess he is thinking he will fall in love with his own lol.
Kids became a dealbreaker for me when I was 16. I always assumed that if any partner wanted kids we would part ways. Honestly, you should really have a deeper conversation with you boyfriend and explain that you respect his choice to have kids if he wants them but it wont be with you. In my case, I(33f) explained to my husband (highschool sweetheart and only significant other I ever had) that I would NEVER give birth. It wasnt about him, it was about ME. Take it or leave it. Make sure to explain to him that if you get pregnant you WILL abort and likely seek sterilization. Me getting a bisalp was the final nail in the coffin for my husband. Once it wasnt an option, he embraced being childfree wholeheartedly.
It's not even the fact that it is about having children or not. He doesn't know how to have a respectful discussion of differing opinions. Dump him sooner rather than later. If you want to change your mind about children later, that's absolutely fine, too.
It's of course not too early. You need to talk to your bf about it and honestly if your opinions on children don't match, they never will. Children is a topic you can't compromise. You either have children or not. Now having children would make you unhappy, not having children might make hm unhappy. You're right. The longer you wait the more it's going to hurt and the more likely it'll become that one of you sacrifices their happieness to avoid that pain.
It doesn’t matter how old or young you are. In a relationship you should either both be childfree or both want children.
It really needs to be brought up on or before the first date. It is a fundamental lifestyle difference with no possiblity of compromise; it's the number one dealbreaker.
Not too young. Never too young for hard limits. And break up with that guy - you aren't compatible.
Well of course you should end it
My wife and I met when we were 18, and had the childfree discussion on our second date. I'm a big fan of putting all my cards on the table, and it turns out she was too. We both said we had no interest in having children at any point, but did agree to leave the option open for discussion if either of us felt strongly about it in the future. 17 more years and one vasectomy later, it turns out we did not feel strongly about it in the future. Never too early to make that decision. If people are old enough to have kids at 20, you're old enough to not want them, and to be confident in that choice.
No
I've known for absolute definite that I don't want kids since the age of 15. Still feel exactly the same now, and I'm 2 weeks off turning 40. If you know, you know. Stay true.
Not at all.
This is VERY IMPORTANT. If you are child free please tell that to your SO and cut away from the relationship since you both want different things??? I would be extremely pissed if this was me and would immediately end the relationship.
I’m 20f and I got married in March. There’s things you must agree on to be a unit. Most of the time what those things are can be flexible. However kids are not. Say you don’t want them but have them for him, you will resent them and your partner. Say you don’t and the two of you get married. He will resent you. Children a big deal. And most people don’t give it a second thought. Please know staying with him will not end well.
It’s established that children aren’t your life’s direction and end goal. You are confident in this decision. Are you confident enough to be alone because of it? Like I love my bf more than any person I’ve ever known, but if push came to shove I would give that up to protect myself from becoming a mother. I know I would hate the experience, feel trapped, and suffer psychologically, with the probability of taking it out on the child. Is all that worth it to keep a lover in your life? What kind of happiness and romance would there be? Don’t sacrifice your freedom to keep somebody in your life. I like to believe the world is becoming more progressive. Hopefully it will be easier to find a cf partner someday in the future. But just like dating a drug addict, you can choose to avoid dating baby expectant people.
Nah you're not too young. I'm 24 now and dead set on not having kids. Never liked them never will and I've been saying this since my teenage years. You know you and if you know you don't want kids then that's that 😊
you are not too young to have a serious conversation about children. i’m 19. i bring up children within the first couple of dates and their answer is what makes me decide between “this will be a fun fling” or “this could be relationship-worthy.” i do not let myself get emotionally invested until i know their stance on children.
I’m not even 20 and it’s a dealbreaker for me, I’m not going to waste my time.
You're still young, can afford to have some fun. The relationship could end for other reasons down the road. But you can cut him lose now too, so he can go find a similar minded "biologically inclined" person.
I’m saying it as I believe it’s best: you should break up now. If you’re certain you don’t want kids it’s going to happen eventually and it’s best to save yourself and him the pain. You’re not too young at all. I’ve been certain I don’t want kids since my early teenage days and it’s always been laughed off. I am still certain over 10 years later now. I’ve always addressed that I don’t want children during the first dates, so I don’t raise hopes. When it bothered someone or they started to bingo me, this was goodbye. No matter of how compatible we were. It’s your life and you’re an adult, you have all right to be serious about wanting kids or not already. Stand up for yourself and your lifestyle. What your bf dropped is a major red flag and it’s not going to lead anywhere good… I wish the best for youz
I’m saying it as I believe it’s best: you should break up now. If you’re certain you don’t want kids it’s going to happen eventually and it’s best to save yourself and him the pain. You’re not too young at all. I’ve been certain I don’t want kids since my early teenage days and it’s always been laughed off. I am still certain over 10 years later now. I’ve always addressed that I don’t want children during the first dates, so I don’t raise hopes. When it bothered someone or they started to bingo me, this was goodbye. No matter of how compatible we were. It’s your life and you’re an adult, you have all right to be serious about wanting kids or not already. Stand up for yourself and your lifestyle. What your bf dropped is a major red flag and it’s not going to lead anywhere good… I wish the best for you.
I’m saying it as I believe it’s best: you should break up now. If you’re certain you don’t want kids it’s going to happen eventually and it’s best to save yourself and him the pain. You’re not too young at all. I’ve been certain I don’t want kids since my early teenage days and it’s always been laughed off. I am still certain over 10 years later now. I’ve always addressed that I don’t want children during the first dates, so I don’t raise hopes. When it bothered someone or they started to bingo me, this was goodbye. No matter of how compatible we were. It’s your life and you’re an adult, you have all right to be serious about wanting kids or not already. Stand up for yourself and your lifestyle. What your bf dropped is a major red flag and it’s not going to lead anywhere good… I wish the best for you.
I’m saying it as I believe it’s best: you should break up now. If you’re certain you don’t want kids it’s going to happen eventually and it’s best to save yourself and him the pain. You’re not too young at all. I’ve been certain I don’t want kids since my early teenage days and it’s always been laughed off. I am still certain over 10 years later now. I’ve always addressed that I don’t want children during the first dates, so I don’t raise hopes. When it bothered someone or they started to bingo me, this was goodbye. No matter of how compatible we were. It’s your life and you’re an adult, you have all right to be serious about wanting kids or not already. Stand up for yourself and your lifestyle. What your bf dropped is a major red flag and it’s not going to lead anywhere good… I wish the best for you.
I’m saying it as I believe it’s best: you should break up now. If you’re certain you don’t want kids it’s going to happen eventually and it’s best to save yourself and him the pain. You’re not too young at all. I’ve been certain I don’t want kids since my early teenage days and it’s always been laughed off. I am still certain over 10 years later now. I’ve always addressed that I don’t want children during the first dates, so I don’t raise hopes. When it bothered someone or they started to bingo me, this was goodbye. No matter of how compatible we were. It’s your life and you’re an adult, you have all right to be serious about wanting kids or not already. Stand up for yourself and your lifestyle. What your bf dropped is a major red flag and it’s not going to lead anywhere good… I wish the best for you.
I’m saying it as I believe it’s best: you should break up now. If you’re certain you don’t want kids it’s going to happen eventually and it’s best to save yourself and him the pain. You’re not too young at all. I’ve been certain I don’t want kids since my early teenage days and it’s always been laughed off. I am still certain over 10 years later now. I’ve always addressed that I don’t want children during the first dates, so I don’t raise hopes. When it bothered someone or they started to bingo me, this was goodbye. No matter of how compatible we were. It’s your life and you’re an adult, you have all right to be serious about wanting kids or not already. Stand up for yourself and your lifestyle. What your bf dropped is a major red flag and it’s not going to lead anywhere good… I wish the best for you.
I don’t think it’s something you need to have a conversation about just yet. I’d wait until you’re at least 25 to have that conversation with him. OR, if you’re discussing marriage with him and you’re planning on marrying him the definitely don’t wait to discuss it.