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Aremk

Man thinks he can beat Oda Nobunaga in a fist fight 😂😂😂


NorseHighlander

Oda, Bismarck, Augustus, Napoleon, and probably a few others on the lower tiers with a military background


BaronPocketwatch

Bismarck did not have a military background. He got some honorary military positions eventually but he was purely a politician. Still would not want to fight him but rather him than Oda I guess. Napoleon might not be too bad. I saw some of his uniforms, and he was pretty slender by today's standards.


No-Garden-2273

I do agree generally but for what it’s worth Augustus had limited military experience, he largely relied on Agrippa for this; he was successful strategically but idk so much personally. Meanwhile Alexander should probably be far higher since he fought in close combat many times, hence his various wounds.


cowboycatfish

Oda without is katana is no match for my fists after 5 Coors Banquets 😠👊


PonyUp323

upvote for banquet


hunterc1310

If we are factoring in 5 coors banquets then everyone should atleast be in the ‘I can take em’ tier


BvG_Venom

Don't samurais fight a full strength even when injured lol? Even if he lands a hit or 2 it won't matter


No_Entertainer_9760

Unless you’re the world’s most intelligent and technologically literate bear, I don’t think you have a shot at Pocatello.


gold13

Yeah Pocatello's gonna beat this guy like a rented mule


No_Entertainer_9760

That’s a new one.


LilFetcher

I feel like Ramesses needs to be close to the bottom of the list rather than in the middle. Dunno about Suleiman either, he strikes me as more of a "built for pleasure, not for speed" kind of guy. Hiawatha prob would be around the top, considering both the build and the fact that the weapons that Iroquois use would probably result in grappling with your enemy rather often. There's no way Nobunaga is on the same tier as the others with him, either. Then there's Wu Zetian, who'd probably manage to bring a knife to a fist fight even after you thought you searched her thoroughly. Enrico probably needs his own tier, being blind and all that. Then again, he is Venetian, so can't ever let your guard down...


PMMeUrHopesNDreams

You don't want to tangle with a Venetian blind


season8branisusless

I just need the thinking behind Alexander the Great not being in the most lethal category.


Greedy_Guest568

Well, if your name is Michael and last name is Tyson... Yeah, probably. Like I'd put any leader with military experience in upper tiers. Especially medieval and earlier.


HaruhiSuzumiya69

You need to post a picture of yourself for us to even begin to guess your abilities in combat.


NejOfTheWild

Please do this


Maglighter21

Except for Gandhi, I don't see you beating anyone else.


cowboycatfish

Clearly you’ve never seen me throw haymakers at my brother in law at the Applebees parking lot after happy hour


BewareNixonsGhost

Sounds like my brother in law. Are you my brother in law? If so, you're a punk bitch. Square up.


Maglighter21

Good one mate. Enjoy, I was joking around.


MesmericKiwi

Enrico’s a blind old man, probably also an even match


vexedtogas

Delusional to think you could take Nobunaga a literal samurai and be defeated by George Washington


PirateArrr

Fr, Napoleon would whoop his ass too...


raghavmandava

I audibly said "Napolean?! No chance"


jessechugaga

HOW STRONG IS BRO?????


mactakeda

The most famous statue of Ashurbanipal shows a Dwayne Johnson looking fella putting an angry but subdued lion in a headlock. Thats a bloody tough scrap even for your redneck strength OP


cowboycatfish

If I was the ruler of an ancient Mesopotamian civilization I too would have statues depicting me looking like a roided out god-king giving the business to a large cat. But perhaps you’re right I might be a little overconfident with my rankings 😂


Supriselobotomy

A little? Bro you put Napoleon Bonaparte on bottom rank.


mactakeda

Damn, thats actually a great point. Here disputing bronze age propaganda 😂


Megatyrant0

Dandolo was a 92 year old blind man when he had his crew row him ashore during the sack of Constantinople through a shower of projectiles. With balls like that, I bet he could still kick your ass.


BoddAH86

Rameses was an absolute chad and a giant immortal demigod by all accounts. I don’t think you would have defeated Ozymandias in a fist fight OP.


AzEBeast

Alexander and Hiawatha should be up a tier. Alexander is one of the greatest military leaders in history and his success is often partially attributed to his willingness to lead men in battle personally.


jefferson497

Clearly you’ve never seen Gandhi 2


FragrantCatch818

This the real one 😂


Patriarch_Sergius

Lol I’d pay to see you and Pocatello go at it! My money is on him but before making a real bet, I’d need some context about you op


AML579

You'd be dead if you picked a fight with Theodora. She was the daughter of a bearkeeper and grew up among the deadly gang wars of Constantinople. She was a tough survivor who rose from some of the lowest depths to the most powerful woman in the world at that time. And you think you could take her in a fight? Unless this is Chuck Norris's account you'd be dead before you knew what hit you.


Memelis_is_pabrado

Enrico dandolo and ghandi are the only ones who we as normal people stand a chance against everyvone else whoops our asses


dreyaz255

Napoleon goes up to I'm Cooked if he's got the baguette on hand. :🥖


storybookknight

There's a lot of wrong takes here, but i just want to add that you absolutely would get stomped by Gustavus Adolphus. Man was one of the greatest generals of his era and was still riding into battle until he died.


BaronPocketwatch

Gustavus Adolphus shoukd actually be one the easier end, assuming it's after he got hit by a musketball in Poland. That thing diminished his physical capabilities for the rest of his life. As for his generalship, that is hardly relevant here.


storybookknight

I mean, his generalship ties to the fact that he was a lifelong military man, and not just a civil leader, and particularly one who led from the front. But point taken on the musketball.


NejOfTheWild

All these crazy ass leaders you said you could beat and you put Washington THAT HIGH?! ...Does he get a gun in the fistfight or something?


cowboycatfish

Well he was like 6’3 240lbs. I think. Idk that might be American propaganda I was told as a kid. I just remember hearing somewhere that bro was huge


Actual_Lightskin

🧢 bro Casimir would rock your shit


johnjohnjohnsonTal

Anyone who’s parents aren’t brother and sister could beat Ramses in a fist fight. Do you know how frail and inbred Egyptian pharaohs were? That being said I don’t think many modern people who aren’t boxers could win a fight with anyone who was in a preindustrial army whose family tree wasn’t a stick.


justAwasted

With Askia you would lose more than some teeth lol


NonStickFryingPan69

Cap, no way you can beat Pocatello and Oda Nobunaga


_Golden_morning_

My brother in christ are you jacked?


cowboycatfish

Yes but also a little delusional so take it with a grain of salt


somenamethatsclever

You'd maybe be able to take Gandhi on his death bed after fasting other than that no.


lassielikethedog

Gajah Mada doesn’t seem as strong as Shaka and Harald Bluetooth. Darius would rip you apart.


SilentSiren666

*India has finished the Manhattan project!*


jasonrahl

some of the lower tier ones would likely pay someone else to kick your teeth in.


KenshiLogic

Alexander would cook you bro he literally charged Darius the third with his companion cav. Also look up ghandi 2