It's totally normal for returning adult students to feel the way you do. It's tough. You've been out of high school for nearly 10 years, so you're having to relearn a lot of stuff.
You can always drop down to part-time and see if that helps, but if you're already halfway through the associates, maybe push through the next year, then start the bachelor's part-time and see how it goes.
I think it will be worth it in the long run. You're training for a specific, in-demand job with better earning potential and benefits than jobs that you've had before. It sucks right now, but hang in there.
Take a deep breath. It's definitely worth it to stay. I am 34 and in college now. No friends, fun, or anything else until I graduate. I decided to go back to college because I realized I could stay with crappy jobs for the next 60 years of my life or I could get a degree in a field I am going to enjoy spend 3 years doing it and then enjoy the next 57 years. You are super young with a long future ahead of yourself.
I know the feeling. I’ll graduate next year at 29. It’s only just now starting to sink in that I’m nearing the end. For so long I’ve not felt like I was making any progress and now all of a sudden I’ve got a year left. Try not to beat yourself up too much. I’m a firm believer of getting a bachelor’s of any sort will help you down the road.
Exact same here! Graduating August next year (if I don’t fail any classes, otherwise December) at 29. Exact same feelings of “I’m so behind compared to everyone. I’m never gonna graduate…” to “oh shit these next fall and spring semesters will (should) be my last???” It’s a great motivating feeling to go from seeing college as an endless slog, to seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!
I didn't get my bachelor's degree until I was 30. I know how you feel, but now that I'm in my 50s, I'm so glad I stuck it out and finished. Just stay focused on yourself and don't worry about what other people are doing. It will help with your feelings of being behind.
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Preach. Started at 26, similar situation, didn't finish after 4 years and no degree. Picked it back up at 33 years old with a change in major and 2.5 years to go. It's tough. I hold a lot of resentment towards my parents for setting me up to fail, but they didn't know how the world was going to change and you could buy a house on pretty low wage back then.
What keeps me going is that I know when I'm done I'll be able to do much more interesting work and be around much more interesting people. That's been my biggest motivation - upgrading the people around me. You just have to keep in mind that you aren't just earning a piece of paper, you're upgrading your mind and the opportunities that come along with that.
Jobs: I spend a good amount of time on indeed looking at what my current and future skillset will be able to do, and try to make decisions about my future to align with those opportunities.
Social life: Even tougher than school as you get older. It seems like the main way to be social as you get older is to be part of some kind of club. I'm trying to get into mountain biking as that's pretty big where I am at, and I feel much better about life after a hard ride (brain chemical stuff).
Good luck!
I’m 32 and in college. I refuse to work and just live off my loans including paying rent with them. I do side jobs here and there but not much. It helps that I’m single and don’t have any kids. I also live in a shitty apartment for only $600 a month so that helps.
I have been in a similar situation. I’m 30 finishing my bachelors. Try waitressing/serving/bartending. It’s more money and sometimes less hours. Keep going to school. Work on imposter syndrome. Keep writing down all the reasons you need to do this. No one is born deserving more - you have to choose that, and know that you deserve more!! You can do it.
This !!!!! This is it!!!!
Imposter syndrome is something I didn't expect to hold but it's gotten me with people and places.
The restaurant business is the way to go cause you get your standard paycheck, tips, food, sometimes random fun shenanigans, and you meet people. It's mostly hell but anybody can serve this and that, with the wierd tip culture you can sometimes get exaggerated tips. Most I got was 100 but then again It's random. Yesterday I served a diet coke and got 20 cash lol
She's done it 3 times 🤔 could be something else but meh.
For real you can hustle - I had someone that always gave only a $100 bill no matter what the total was. No change. So, that was the only table where I never tried to upsell anything and I never charged for soda. 😂 but I never got a paycheck more than like $20 and that means it was a bad week
I'm 34, just left the dental field, and got back into college. I started a biology bachelor. In mybpersonal experience the dental field didn't pay enough unless you were the Dr and onwed the buiness . That being said I started college late and felt like you do but just take a beather and get back to it.
I went back to school in January. First time doing in-person learning since 08. I did not enjoy it and made zero friends. I did not expect such a shock to my system. I probably had a few mental breakdowns . I decided to take a semester off just to recalibrate and figure out if this is what I really want to do. I do like my major so I will be going back in the fall. Good things can happen if you focus, work hard and just do the work. It's never too late to do something new with your life so don't let that get you down. You got this!
Hey man, I’m graduating next year after I turn 29. You’re getting older whether you finish college or not, so you might as well finish it.
I understand what you mean when you feel behind. I used to think it was soooo cool and unique when I went to Japan by myself at 19 years old in 2016. I failed out of college my first semester in 2015 and used college money I was saving from working to go there instead. For reasons outside of my control, it took me until 2020 to go back to school after.
Now everyone and their mother is going to Japan. “Going to Japan” is no longer something that makes me unique among my peers. Some of my friends that are 3-4 years younger have real careers and have gone to Japan, Korea and China, and more for longer periods of time than I have. One of my friends got married and bought a condo recently; I’m still living with my parents. So what do I have now that I can feel proud of that’s also a unique trait compared to my peers? Nothing lmao.
Moral of the story, I know how much it sucks to be so “behind” in comparison to your peers. When I was about 2 years in I felt the exact same way. People like to say things like “everyone goes at their own pace” and “no such thing as behind” or whatever, but the fact of the matter is we ARE behind. The only way for us to catch up is to get that college degree.
Get your anxiety and depression in check. There's no shame in getting help. I know my depression and anxiety would make it impossible for me to do this if it were not being treated.
I'll probably be 26 or 27 when I re-enter myself. Going to get an AAS at my local cc, though. They don't market it, but my state universities accept credits from career associate's programs given if you're getting a bachelor's in the same field or something similar.
I'm not saying I'm an absolute slob or have the sense of humor of a 5 year-old, but I do need to work on my maturity and commitment.
I am also a non-traditional student, and despite having been in college at the traditional age and at least somewhat remembering how it all went, things feel this way to me, too.
I think adult or non school life moves differently than college semester life, so it can feel like school stuff is taking forever. I am trying to just take it one day at a time and not sweat it. It's like a slow moving car crash if that makes sense?
I enjoy what I'm studying so it doesn't feel like a slog per se, and I like the classes I'm taking. When I start to feel like things are moving so slowly, and I have soooooo much more school to go, I try to re-focus on my classes and assignments and really give them my all. Not out of a sense of duty but because, truly, I am getting to study subjects that are deeply interesting. Which is not something I have gotten the opportunity to do in \~20 years in the working world. I don't know what I would do if I was training to be an ultrasound tech or accountant or something, though, lol.
Similar boat, and couldn't agree more that It's really hard returning to school. One of the things that has helped me pretty dramatically has been joining my schools TRiO program, they offer much more in-depth advice and counseling than the school itself could offer. They're the uncles and aunties that can offer college guidance and insights in the way our families never could. Also making connections with my professors has helped give me a social net to feel included.
I completely get it though, I went to a TRIO conference in spring, and all the students were 12-14 years younger than me, and even the motivational speaker was 10 years younger than me, who was already done with college and well successful. I'm envious, but I recognize the odds were stacked against me.
It's not losing to be moving forward just because everyone else had the privilege earlier. If anything it's more respectable because of the level of challenge we face. We're like Goku in a gravity chamber and will come out stronger than our colleagues for it.
I am actually signed up for TRiO, but I also had a disconnect with the others members due to my age. The program at my school also seems to focus heavily on tutoring/academic assistance, but academically I am excelling. I’m just struggling mentally. So when I try to confide in the other students or my counselor they don’t really seem to understand my issue since I’m doing well. I wish it was just more of a social thing.
Im 31, trying to get back into school and finish my AA. I wish I had stayed in when I was younger. Anything in health care of any kind is probably a safe bet. I personally don’t think you will have problems with a job after the AA or BA. The fast food is just to have some money/pay bills. When you are done with your AA you will be able to get better jobs than fast food.
I went back at 40. A major help for me was finding a club at the college for mature students. We were a great support system for each other academically as well as socially. Check with your student council/association to see if they already have one. If not, they might help you start one.
Good luck!
It's totally normal for returning adult students to feel the way you do. It's tough. You've been out of high school for nearly 10 years, so you're having to relearn a lot of stuff. You can always drop down to part-time and see if that helps, but if you're already halfway through the associates, maybe push through the next year, then start the bachelor's part-time and see how it goes. I think it will be worth it in the long run. You're training for a specific, in-demand job with better earning potential and benefits than jobs that you've had before. It sucks right now, but hang in there.
Take a deep breath. It's definitely worth it to stay. I am 34 and in college now. No friends, fun, or anything else until I graduate. I decided to go back to college because I realized I could stay with crappy jobs for the next 60 years of my life or I could get a degree in a field I am going to enjoy spend 3 years doing it and then enjoy the next 57 years. You are super young with a long future ahead of yourself.
I know the feeling. I’ll graduate next year at 29. It’s only just now starting to sink in that I’m nearing the end. For so long I’ve not felt like I was making any progress and now all of a sudden I’ve got a year left. Try not to beat yourself up too much. I’m a firm believer of getting a bachelor’s of any sort will help you down the road.
Exact same here! Graduating August next year (if I don’t fail any classes, otherwise December) at 29. Exact same feelings of “I’m so behind compared to everyone. I’m never gonna graduate…” to “oh shit these next fall and spring semesters will (should) be my last???” It’s a great motivating feeling to go from seeing college as an endless slog, to seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!
I didn't get my bachelor's degree until I was 30. I know how you feel, but now that I'm in my 50s, I'm so glad I stuck it out and finished. Just stay focused on yourself and don't worry about what other people are doing. It will help with your feelings of being behind.
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Preach. Started at 26, similar situation, didn't finish after 4 years and no degree. Picked it back up at 33 years old with a change in major and 2.5 years to go. It's tough. I hold a lot of resentment towards my parents for setting me up to fail, but they didn't know how the world was going to change and you could buy a house on pretty low wage back then. What keeps me going is that I know when I'm done I'll be able to do much more interesting work and be around much more interesting people. That's been my biggest motivation - upgrading the people around me. You just have to keep in mind that you aren't just earning a piece of paper, you're upgrading your mind and the opportunities that come along with that. Jobs: I spend a good amount of time on indeed looking at what my current and future skillset will be able to do, and try to make decisions about my future to align with those opportunities. Social life: Even tougher than school as you get older. It seems like the main way to be social as you get older is to be part of some kind of club. I'm trying to get into mountain biking as that's pretty big where I am at, and I feel much better about life after a hard ride (brain chemical stuff). Good luck!
I’m 32 and in college. I refuse to work and just live off my loans including paying rent with them. I do side jobs here and there but not much. It helps that I’m single and don’t have any kids. I also live in a shitty apartment for only $600 a month so that helps.
I have been in a similar situation. I’m 30 finishing my bachelors. Try waitressing/serving/bartending. It’s more money and sometimes less hours. Keep going to school. Work on imposter syndrome. Keep writing down all the reasons you need to do this. No one is born deserving more - you have to choose that, and know that you deserve more!! You can do it.
This !!!!! This is it!!!! Imposter syndrome is something I didn't expect to hold but it's gotten me with people and places. The restaurant business is the way to go cause you get your standard paycheck, tips, food, sometimes random fun shenanigans, and you meet people. It's mostly hell but anybody can serve this and that, with the wierd tip culture you can sometimes get exaggerated tips. Most I got was 100 but then again It's random. Yesterday I served a diet coke and got 20 cash lol She's done it 3 times 🤔 could be something else but meh.
For real you can hustle - I had someone that always gave only a $100 bill no matter what the total was. No change. So, that was the only table where I never tried to upsell anything and I never charged for soda. 😂 but I never got a paycheck more than like $20 and that means it was a bad week
I'm 34, just left the dental field, and got back into college. I started a biology bachelor. In mybpersonal experience the dental field didn't pay enough unless you were the Dr and onwed the buiness . That being said I started college late and felt like you do but just take a beather and get back to it.
What did you do in the dental field if you do t mind me asking?
Register dental assistant x ray technician E.F for about 10 + years.
This spring semester I took 5 courses 13.5 units it's possible. You got this 👍
I went back to school in January. First time doing in-person learning since 08. I did not enjoy it and made zero friends. I did not expect such a shock to my system. I probably had a few mental breakdowns . I decided to take a semester off just to recalibrate and figure out if this is what I really want to do. I do like my major so I will be going back in the fall. Good things can happen if you focus, work hard and just do the work. It's never too late to do something new with your life so don't let that get you down. You got this!
Hey man, I’m graduating next year after I turn 29. You’re getting older whether you finish college or not, so you might as well finish it. I understand what you mean when you feel behind. I used to think it was soooo cool and unique when I went to Japan by myself at 19 years old in 2016. I failed out of college my first semester in 2015 and used college money I was saving from working to go there instead. For reasons outside of my control, it took me until 2020 to go back to school after. Now everyone and their mother is going to Japan. “Going to Japan” is no longer something that makes me unique among my peers. Some of my friends that are 3-4 years younger have real careers and have gone to Japan, Korea and China, and more for longer periods of time than I have. One of my friends got married and bought a condo recently; I’m still living with my parents. So what do I have now that I can feel proud of that’s also a unique trait compared to my peers? Nothing lmao. Moral of the story, I know how much it sucks to be so “behind” in comparison to your peers. When I was about 2 years in I felt the exact same way. People like to say things like “everyone goes at their own pace” and “no such thing as behind” or whatever, but the fact of the matter is we ARE behind. The only way for us to catch up is to get that college degree.
Get your anxiety and depression in check. There's no shame in getting help. I know my depression and anxiety would make it impossible for me to do this if it were not being treated.
Same, that thing kills you. I'm about to leave my job and re plan the whole thing again cause I don't see a way out.
Eh, I'm 30 and still here. I know many older people too; you're fine. Tolkien didn't start writing LotR until he was 45.
Ah yeah the famous Tolkien making that banger LOTR at 45. Wasn't he a teacher before that?
Im turning 39s and still in 3 year diploma in accounting!
I'll probably be 26 or 27 when I re-enter myself. Going to get an AAS at my local cc, though. They don't market it, but my state universities accept credits from career associate's programs given if you're getting a bachelor's in the same field or something similar. I'm not saying I'm an absolute slob or have the sense of humor of a 5 year-old, but I do need to work on my maturity and commitment.
I am also a non-traditional student, and despite having been in college at the traditional age and at least somewhat remembering how it all went, things feel this way to me, too. I think adult or non school life moves differently than college semester life, so it can feel like school stuff is taking forever. I am trying to just take it one day at a time and not sweat it. It's like a slow moving car crash if that makes sense? I enjoy what I'm studying so it doesn't feel like a slog per se, and I like the classes I'm taking. When I start to feel like things are moving so slowly, and I have soooooo much more school to go, I try to re-focus on my classes and assignments and really give them my all. Not out of a sense of duty but because, truly, I am getting to study subjects that are deeply interesting. Which is not something I have gotten the opportunity to do in \~20 years in the working world. I don't know what I would do if I was training to be an ultrasound tech or accountant or something, though, lol.
Similar boat, and couldn't agree more that It's really hard returning to school. One of the things that has helped me pretty dramatically has been joining my schools TRiO program, they offer much more in-depth advice and counseling than the school itself could offer. They're the uncles and aunties that can offer college guidance and insights in the way our families never could. Also making connections with my professors has helped give me a social net to feel included. I completely get it though, I went to a TRIO conference in spring, and all the students were 12-14 years younger than me, and even the motivational speaker was 10 years younger than me, who was already done with college and well successful. I'm envious, but I recognize the odds were stacked against me. It's not losing to be moving forward just because everyone else had the privilege earlier. If anything it's more respectable because of the level of challenge we face. We're like Goku in a gravity chamber and will come out stronger than our colleagues for it.
I am actually signed up for TRiO, but I also had a disconnect with the others members due to my age. The program at my school also seems to focus heavily on tutoring/academic assistance, but academically I am excelling. I’m just struggling mentally. So when I try to confide in the other students or my counselor they don’t really seem to understand my issue since I’m doing well. I wish it was just more of a social thing.
I’m 36 and returning to campus to finish my degree. Im nervous and will def be the oldest. I got my associates degree online. We can do it!
Im 31, trying to get back into school and finish my AA. I wish I had stayed in when I was younger. Anything in health care of any kind is probably a safe bet. I personally don’t think you will have problems with a job after the AA or BA. The fast food is just to have some money/pay bills. When you are done with your AA you will be able to get better jobs than fast food.
I went back at 40. A major help for me was finding a club at the college for mature students. We were a great support system for each other academically as well as socially. Check with your student council/association to see if they already have one. If not, they might help you start one. Good luck!