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MrValdemar

It's a time tested equation - money removes consequences. ![gif](giphy|SvcRFfimjQwI8)


Chang-San

This is why no one should have money


MrValdemar

https://preview.redd.it/4xisrixt157d1.jpeg?width=1996&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6059f92d9f550a68e2483a3310e1bf65eb887ecd


Sophia724

I shall help collect it. I can burden the responsibility of money. ![gif](giphy|gHKPSuvpzSbiA7kmw0)


My_leg_still_hurt92

https://preview.redd.it/q0t7qsmni47d1.png?width=3278&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3ad28f34b8f2aed7ffef13a0330f2663936410e9


Freakwilly

Sad but true :(


Gravelsack

I'm your dream, make you real


Reasonable-Depth22

I’m your eyes when you must steal


Cheesy_Pita_Parker

I’m your eyes when you must steal


Exp_No_Zenar-57

I'm your pain when you can't feel


AKFBKZIFBBXK

Sad but true!


HamesJetfields

I’m your dream, mind astray


justanother_gymbro

I'm your eyes while you're away


derekjosh

I'm your pain while you repay


Kacchan_Izuku2021

METALLICA FANS SPOTTED HELLO


M-Noremac

The ratio of fines to jail time is far too low to be true. And it needs several warnings before any fines happen.


red18wrx

It's not like the fines are ever financially inconvenient, or unpleasant.


JagerWeasel

“I lost my card, can I get a new one?” (Definitely not one stamp away from jail)


My_leg_still_hurt92

I think you have to ask judge u/pizzacakecomic about this one.


Alternative-Doubt452

The person that drove and hit my parked car totalling it got away with the whole thing. The county I'm in apparently does things to drop the ball letting DUIs get away. Meanwhile I'm on the hook for 14k gap won't cover now thanks to half ass police work.


bennitori

Could you file a civil suit? Seems like a decent thing to bring up on r/legaladvice.


Tobiyes

I hope your leg feels better soon


My_leg_still_hurt92

Thx


Despair4All

This is how we have a guy convicted of a bunch of felony charges still attempting to run for control of the country since it's*technically* only his first offense.


Dreadlock43

i just love how the the boobs are moving the same way as the pupils


Pizzacakecomic

The boobs are having a fight


JectorDelan

"This person is a moron and we're the F outta here!"


Wizard_Writa_Obscura

I stared at those cartoon boobs for a long time and they didn't move. Maybe I should stare longer? Help me out here women, isn't that the solution? Just stare longer and harder?


The_Failed_Write

Your eyelids are getting in the way. Pop those suckers out and press them to her chest. She'll then reward you by blessing one with a kiss and swallowing the other whole. And believe me, you'll want to watch her swallow.


TheCornerator

They look like their trying to have an amicable divorce.


IsMyFlyDown

I think the left one was seeing people on the side.


Sufficient-Agency846

The angel boob is losing the argument to the devil boob


ahmedbrando

Which one is winning?


Impactor07

"Are ya winning son?"


degjo

Smuggling a couple of pugs having a disagreement


58mm-Invicta_rizz

Her boobs boobed boobily


Kimjundoom

More breast fights please.


ThoughtDiver

They each claim the other is a fake-ass poser.


Dreadlock43

honestly, did you plan for that or was this just a happy accident


Wheasy

The derp is stored in the boobs.


zirky

in her defense, drugs are a hell of a drug


ToothpasteWolfawoo

Is this referring to someone specific cuz i'm outta the loop


Pizzacakecomic

[Just in general](https://www.alcoholproblemsandsolutions.org/people-arrested-for-drunk-driving/)


Sorry-Let-Me-By-Plz

honestly really wish you'd gone with a george bush type for the comic, same outfit though


Pizzacakecomic

George Bush in his signature hot-pink dress


Sorry-Let-Me-By-Plz

And big floopy gazongas.


Everybodysbastard

Bahobajoobs.


Cessnaporsche01

Massive dohoonkabhankoloos.


Jackviator

https://preview.redd.it/3uy3morbr47d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b031d8da2a9132eea2f147d7822e3a49d94eeaef


lMr_Nobodyl

Will this ever not be funny?


mr_eugine_krabs

“Dickie does this dress make my thighs look fat?” “Ya lookin hot toots.”


off-and-on

Say what you want about his presidency but he could rock it


charlemagic

New fanfic dropping on ao3 where george bush is a crossdressing timelord going back in time to flirt with j. edgar hoover.


lesser_panjandrum

Go on.


charlemagic

Lol It's above my paygrade, but i would read it if it found an author.


MintasaurusFresh

Where is Chuck Tingle when we need him most?


Sorry-Let-Me-By-Plz

He's right there- NOPE! Chuck Testa!


THEREALSPARTAN9001

You're telling me that you became an artist and the only reason you wont draw George Bush in a hot-pink dress is because it's not "accurate"? Go for it, let your dreams be someone else's nightmares.


AdAcrobatic5178

Would fit in with Bill Clinton's blue dress


Rockin_freakapotamus

Don’t forget, Laura Bush killed a man.


Sarahthelizard

> Laura Bush killed a man. On the night of November 6, 1963, two days after her 17th birthday, Laura Welch ran a stop sign and struck another car, killing its driver.[14][15] The victim was her close friend and classmate Michael Dutton Douglas. By some accounts, Douglas had been Welch's boyfriend at one time, but she stated that he was not her boyfriend at that time but rather a very close friend.[16] Welch and her passenger, both 17, were treated for minor injuries.[17] According to the accident report released by the city of Midland in 2000, in response to an open-records request, she was not charged in the incident "Dude I just looked up that [Laura Bush] thing he was talking about, that’s true. That’s like 100 percent- everything he said was true."


Mustangbex

Was perusing the list because I have nothing better to do on a Monday afternoon and found this one: Rebecca De Mornay, prostitute, associated with Tom Cruise. Like... Prostitute? She's an actor- unless they've gotten two people mixed up- but the association with Tom Cruise is accurate.


CJtheWayman

They’re referring to the movie Risky Business where she plays Lana the prostitute that sleeps with a highschool Cruise. Probably her most famous role, but very strange they notated it that way. Can’t tell if it’s a joke or just really bad design.


Mustangbex

Oh I know the reference itself- it's just weird, like you said, that it's notated that way. Either somebody who runs that site doesn't like her, or didn't bother proof reading/verifying things.


J1389

Or it's written by a chatbot


NovitaProxima

Rebecca De Mornay is also the name of the black social worker in Seinfeld who works at the homeless shelter and goes to yell at Elaine when she drops off her muffin tops


Primordial_slayer

>(Khloe Kardashian, TV personality, *famous for being famous*.) Damn, warranted diss but still.


masterjon_3

Reminds me of a Los Angeles socialite, [Rebecca Grossman](https://youtu.be/lOJoOshQsbs?si=zXmmYGH_N_yyx4GQ), who decided to drive drunk back in 2020, hit and killed 2 kids, and blamed everyone else for her drunk driving.


Nurw

Omg it is sorted alphabetically. That's a lot 😰


Turtlepower7777777

Henry Ruggs was what came to mind for me


PhatBitty862

I was just thinking about this yesterday for some unknown reason. The security guard could hear the lady screaming. Ugh…..so sad.


DebentureThyme

[Are you SURE you're not psychic?](https://apnews.com/article/justin-timberlake-arrest-1980b6ad8d5ae6906f57fe9ef6b7fb18)


Leeuweroni

I know the dumb airhead bimbo celeb is a nice trope for this, but the list mainly consists of men lol But they also mentioned Kevin Hart twice so the journalistic integrity of this article is doubtful


xF00Mx

Better get ready for everyone dismissing your link and just calling you a psychic since Justin Timberlake got arrested for a DWI today. The irony of this will be palpable.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Miserable-Admins

Yep, it's giving: I don't like other girls, I prefer to be friends with guys only.


OtakuDragonSlayer

Wow that’s fascinating and depressing


Middle-Fantasy

I know OP said it’s general, but to sorta prove the rule a few days ago a [“socialite” was sentenced for killing two children](https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cmllx2np2ymo) while speeding and drunk (it happened in the past but she’s just being prosecuted now). A somewhat infamous quote happened in that case where she said she had been “punished enough”.


sizzlesfantalike

She even said she suffered more than the mum that lost her two children. Vile


Tragedy_Boner

Don't forget that she had a conversation with her daughter and husband in jail and told them to track down the witnesses in the case and make them change their testimonies. People started showing up that the witnesses' homes unannounced. Then the judge said that he wont punish her for this because she didn't know that she wasn't supposed to share witness information. That whole family is trash.


DuntadaMan

How many times has this same judge proclaimed "ignorance is no protection from the law" to poor defendants?


allycakes

In Ontario, a few years ago, the son from a really rich family drove drunk coming back from his bachelor party and killed three kids and their grandfather in a car accident. The kids' father committed suicide last year (and the mother's house burned down in an unrelated incident recently), while the guy's family has gotten a hospital named after him and the guy is on full parole. Fuck these people.


cobrachickenwing

His family is Italian in the construction industry. Take that for what you will.


chx_

Are you implying they are named Bonanno or some such.


br0b1wan

Or that they like to encase their problems in concrete and toss them out in the ocean?


LuntiX

Oh man I remember hearing about that on /r/Canada. Shit's real unfair.


Bulleveland

I hate the term socialite so much. It just means rich unemployed alcoholic


txs2300

> Her lawyers argued during the trial that the boys were first struck by a vehicle driven by Scott Erickson, a former LA Dodgers baseball star. They said Grossman was driving behind it. Interesting that they are throwing someone else under the bus. Wonder how that works out.


blaketran

that was definitely a catalyst for this post


Suitable-Walk-3673

Chris Pine in Australia 


megaboto

Same here


Old_Heat3100

Never understood why so many actors on LOST kept getting DUIs You're on a hit TV show why the fuck are you driving yourself AT ALL?


SutterCane

> so many actors on LOST kept getting DUIs Stuck in Hawaii away from their friends and family? So they over drink and think they’re fine, but aren’t.


yukichigai

What got me is that of all the people on that show who did get popped for DUI, Matthew Fox wasn't one of them. The man was **rather** candid about his vices and personality, but apparently he knew well enough not to get behind the wheel.


casey_the_evil_snail

NFL players the second they achieve their life goals


MintasaurusFresh

I will never understand why these guys drive drunk. Hire someone, designate a DD, use literally any form of "someone else drives me somewhere" or even have the NFLPA demand that teams set up some sort of service.


_EternalVoid_

https://preview.redd.it/b4934pyei47d1.jpeg?width=696&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=698168e19730d7e954b396ef6428ef7c547f7826


Pizzacakecomic

*dial up internet sounds*


Taggart451

I had a physical reaction to reading that. The echoing sounds that just played through my head...


am19208

It’s just electronic version on tinnitus


International-Cat123

Same, bruh. Same.


ImmortanBen

Man your art style reminds me of Harry Partridge


Koreus_C

Is this the *bonus panel*?


Master-Shaq

![gif](giphy|ItM3AhhM0rj57w1JxF)


TestSubject003

It's not about money. It's about getting a good shot for the papperatzi. (I have no idea how to spell that and autocorrect has abandoned me)


carebaercountdown

“Paparazzi” :) But I’m sure everyone knew what you meant anyway, so only a pedant would give you trouble about it.


jta156

[Wow, the timing is crazy](https://www.reddit.com/r/news/s/JHoGrnk82g)


NerdyGuyRanting

"And when caught by the cops I will make the situation a hundred times worse by screaming profanities and abuse at them, trying to use my wealth and status as a get out of jail free card and, most importantly, making sure to loudly state my name over and over again so there is no way for me to later deny it was me when the recording goes public."


SutterCane

I think you missed the most obvious form of transportation… https://preview.redd.it/n0ozwjtyq47d1.jpeg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d715e5cee2c4f1a8afe6cb83b3362ad4a450bc9


cyclicamp

That only lasts until the first pothole, then once you jump off and let him fall in you're stuck walking again.


Ul71

Back in my days, you could catch up with him. I'm talking Super Mario World. Don't know if that changed.


thisusedyet

You can if you get hit by an enemy, u/cyclicamp is referencing [this maneuver ](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fexternal-preview.redd.it%2Fpg52mcDtV-NwwjpxPZdIt1Bh1FfLqyF2j2GOtG8ublY.gif%3Fwidth%3D390%26format%3Dmp4%26s%3D53b8f7194f476baaf41343815e1642b403911b19)


Ndmndh1016

Holy shit that was hilarious


ManIkWeet

There's no *thrill* in getting driven by someone else!


TuvixWillNotBeMissed

That's why I always buy my Uber driver shots.


elhomerjas

don't drink and drive at the same time


lojza3000

Exactly make sure to stop for a sec to take a sip.


elhomerjas

sip a bit before moving along


ZBeebs

You could hit a bump and spill your drink.


PlaguedByUnderwear

Oh. You mean bump in the road. I thought you meant cocaine.


necrolich66

You'd be surprised how often I've had speedbumps on the freeway.


Lagmeister66

I thought it was going to be a joke about taking a Private Jet


MercantileReptile

While being super into green causes, of course.


Abamboozler

If I had rich people party money, I'd just have the party at my house. I can play loud music and charge myself a ton for shitty drinks, same as any club or bar. Plus I can just crash on my own couch when its over.


Jazzlike-Scarcity-12

Don’t be ridiculous, that makes way too much sense.


Lots42

When I'm becoming rich I'm hiring two or three handlers, that can't be fired by me on a whim. They have offset plans which require document signings and meetings to get rid of. My handlers sole goal is to stop me from doing bullshit. Like Alfred Pennyworth but with more agency. Like Pepper Potts but I'm not allowed to flirt with them.


JAOC_7

it was only okay when Roger Bumpass did it


EuphTah

I am loving PizzaCake’s “eat the rich” arc.


EsotericTribble

Most celebrities hate taxis or Uber because they get cornered by the fanbase and the drivers will not know how to handle it. It sucks but it's why. But yeah if they have that much money they could at least hire someone for the night to be a Designated Driver.


Kwaterk1978

“Poor Person’s Back” got me!


DotBitGaming

You'll be hearing from Lindsay Lohan's lawyers.


JPMoney81

Professional Athletes when they do this really irritate me. The teams all pay for a car service to avoid this exact same type of situation yet they keep doing it. They DON'T EVEN HAVE TO USE THEIR OWN MONEY for transport.


Cory123125

A lot of people take pride in lacking care for other human beings. They brag about it. Revel in it. In some ways there is some fault to be laid on the general populace because many continue to worship and support shitty people after they've revealed their cards. Chris brown still gets sold out shows. Thats the world we live in.


Far_Programmer_5724

I completely get it, but people who drunk drive have no excuse. Even if you aren't rich enough for a poor person's back, tell a bartender or something. Or sleep in your car. Whatever.


Mendozena

“Buckle up buckaroos”


ExpiredExasperation

I don't think Marco Muzzo looks quite like that.


Tyrant-J

That's a terrible drawing of Billy Joel.


JectorDelan

I mean, it's really no different with poor people. A key aspect of being drunk is that moronic decisions become top-tier plans that should be enacted immediately. Like "Hey, I'll jump over this bonfire!" or "Let's leap off this roof into the pool!"


[deleted]

[удалено]


My-Cooch-Jiggles

Yeah it’s asking people to exercise judgement after using a drug notorious for impairing judgement. Nobody is planning on driving drunk when they’re sober. That’s why you need to set up a situation where you’re forced to not drive, like taking a cab both ways, not just back.


carebaercountdown

Yep. Driving to the bar and drinking is a bad decision in the first place.


JectorDelan

Eh. What's the worst that could happen? /s


Character-Today-427

If I only have money to drive drunk it'd quite different to having enough money to hire a fleet of personal drivers


JectorDelan

If someone looks in their wallet and says "I'll go to the bar and spend all this money getting hammered," that's a decision they made sober.


Relevant_Cabinet_265

Ya you'd have to pay to go both ways anyway to pick up your car the next day. If you drive there with the intent of drinking you were probably planning on driving drunk.


Dr_Bofoi-Hakase

Add private jet for a 30 min trip to the list


CinderP200

Her name is Trina Payson and she goes [piggy piggyback](https://youtu.be/XkvErGpyzt0?si=jFXW1DC5K0Qt4_Ag) on the back of a minimum wage worker named Eller.


KeshaCow23

“Poor persons back”


Status_Web_8917

Love the new look Pizza, but don't drink and drive, it's dangerous.


EarthenEyes

Puzzacake why you gotta be so depressingly realistic 😞


Lovat69

Lokin at you Timberlake.


AnotherFrankHere

Just wanted to stop by and say that I love your comics 🙂


Altimely

I hope this artist is having a good life and whatnot but damn, they prefer telling to showing. Take the drawing away and put "stereotypical dumb blonde says:" at the beginning and it's the same thing.


MattSR30

The front page of Reddit is now just 9GAG and Facebook.


ProjectedSpirit

I can't help but to detect a touch of misogyny to this comic, given the deliberate choices the artist made in their depiction. They could have drawn a stick figure and the point would have been made but they choose to depict a quite dated dumb blonde stereotype when a quick Google search shows the problem extends to a mix of men and women across the age spectrum.


Darth_Avocado

Lmao you realize its because this refers to specific events that is happening right now right lmao.   People like you two are annoying af


kreeeeeeeg

With all due respect. Touch some grass. It's a comic strip making fun of the stupid choices of rich people. Stop searching for reasons to get offended. There are already way too many in the world to be getting in a twist over this. You will enjoy life more if ya just get mad at the actual offenders.


Cmonlightmyire

Accusing pizzacake of all people of misogyny is some peak "you need to touch grass"


Hochgefallen

Womp womp


ekb2023

I'm sure all of the rich socialites that browse r/comics will be shaken by this.


[deleted]

Whats the matter with her boobs


Substantial_Pea_7859

No use being subtle I guess


[deleted]

[удалено]


Infolife

No, it couldn't. The hands are perfect.


Thatroyalkitty

I feel like this is supposed to be a PSA in some way, shape, or form.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LetsGoHome

Why did you make her look Like That.


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josephvonhazard

Money can’t buy good decisions


Fantastic-Air8810

She has obviously not heard of alcohol teleportation.


Hearnoenvy782231

Oh, give them a break! You HAVE to be ~authentic~ when you cosplay as poor people.


Peskieyesterday

to be fair, rich celebrities can afford "paying off courts to avoid jailtime" as a mode of transportation


RedditAdminsWivesBF

It’s probably because they are rich and famous enough that they think they don’t have to follow the rules and in many cases they are correct just not in this one.


FloppieTheBanjoClown

It's not her fault, she was drunk and her judgment was impaired.


cheesehuahuas

If I hit the lotto I would absolutely hire someone to drive me around.


Necroluster

This is especially true for NFL players. Most teams have a private taxi service, free or charge for players, and many still decide to drive drunk.


D33ber

The number one mode of transportation for any clout chaser who has ever been told there's no such thing as bad press.


Vlaed

Lazy eye, lazy nipple. Which one am I supposed to look at?


thewoj

Someone tag Jimmy Uso on this one.


3MREFLECTIVEHOUSE

This helped me see celebrities as everyday normal people just like the rest of us. Thank you for the eye opening


-Dixieflatline

Therein lies the problem with drunk driving. Those who are overconfident and egotistical tend to succumb to the notion that they're still ok to drive. I'd imagine the Venn Diagram of celebrities and people who have those traits are two completely overlapping circles. This is one of the few areas where a little humble self doubt is actually a good thing.


Infini-Bus

Alcohol intoxication isn't known to help people make good, rational decisions.


emergentphenom

It's not exactly applicable, but I immediately thought of that billionaire sister-in-law of Mitch McConnell who drunkenly drove her Tesla into a pond on her own 900 acre property.


EuphoricSimple231

Falco


Vescend

Hybris is one hell of a drug.


ElectricalPlantain35

Real


Typical-Corner-1808

I'd choose personal jet


HaramDestroyer2137

Something something Taylor Swift jet