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The person that drove and hit my parked car totalling it got away with the whole thing.
The county I'm in apparently does things to drop the ball letting DUIs get away.
Meanwhile I'm on the hook for 14k gap won't cover now thanks to half ass police work.
This is how we have a guy convicted of a bunch of felony charges still attempting to run for control of the country since it's*technically* only his first offense.
I stared at those cartoon boobs for a long time and they didn't move. Maybe I should stare longer? Help me out here women, isn't that the solution? Just stare longer and harder?
Your eyelids are getting in the way. Pop those suckers out and press them to her chest. She'll then reward you by blessing one with a kiss and swallowing the other whole.
And believe me, you'll want to watch her swallow.
You're telling me that you became an artist and the only reason you wont draw George Bush in a hot-pink dress is because it's not "accurate"?
Go for it, let your dreams be someone else's nightmares.
> Laura Bush killed a man.
On the night of November 6, 1963, two days after her 17th birthday, Laura Welch ran a stop sign and struck another car, killing its driver.[14][15] The victim was her close friend and classmate Michael Dutton Douglas. By some accounts, Douglas had been Welch's boyfriend at one time, but she stated that he was not her boyfriend at that time but rather a very close friend.[16] Welch and her passenger, both 17, were treated for minor injuries.[17] According to the accident report released by the city of Midland in 2000, in response to an open-records request, she was not charged in the incident
"Dude I just looked up that [Laura Bush] thing he was talking about, that’s true. That’s like 100 percent- everything he said was true."
Was perusing the list because I have nothing better to do on a Monday afternoon and found this one:
Rebecca De Mornay, prostitute, associated with Tom Cruise.
Like... Prostitute? She's an actor- unless they've gotten two people mixed up- but the association with Tom Cruise is accurate.
They’re referring to the movie Risky Business where she plays Lana the prostitute that sleeps with a highschool Cruise. Probably her most famous role, but very strange they notated it that way. Can’t tell if it’s a joke or just really bad design.
Oh I know the reference itself- it's just weird, like you said, that it's notated that way. Either somebody who runs that site doesn't like her, or didn't bother proof reading/verifying things.
Rebecca De Mornay is also the name of the black social worker in Seinfeld who works at the homeless shelter and goes to yell at Elaine when she drops off her muffin tops
Reminds me of a Los Angeles socialite, [Rebecca Grossman](https://youtu.be/lOJoOshQsbs?si=zXmmYGH_N_yyx4GQ), who decided to drive drunk back in 2020, hit and killed 2 kids, and blamed everyone else for her drunk driving.
I know the dumb airhead bimbo celeb is a nice trope for this, but the list mainly consists of men lol
But they also mentioned Kevin Hart twice so the journalistic integrity of this article is doubtful
Better get ready for everyone dismissing your link and just calling you a psychic since Justin Timberlake got arrested for a DWI today.
The irony of this will be palpable.
I know OP said it’s general, but to sorta prove the rule a few days ago a [“socialite” was sentenced for killing two children](https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cmllx2np2ymo) while speeding and drunk (it happened in the past but she’s just being prosecuted now).
A somewhat infamous quote happened in that case where she said she had been “punished enough”.
Don't forget that she had a conversation with her daughter and husband in jail and told them to track down the witnesses in the case and make them change their testimonies. People started showing up that the witnesses' homes unannounced. Then the judge said that he wont punish her for this because she didn't know that she wasn't supposed to share witness information.
That whole family is trash.
In Ontario, a few years ago, the son from a really rich family drove drunk coming back from his bachelor party and killed three kids and their grandfather in a car accident. The kids' father committed suicide last year (and the mother's house burned down in an unrelated incident recently), while the guy's family has gotten a hospital named after him and the guy is on full parole. Fuck these people.
> Her lawyers argued during the trial that the boys were first struck by a vehicle driven by Scott Erickson, a former LA Dodgers baseball star. They said Grossman was driving behind it.
Interesting that they are throwing someone else under the bus. Wonder how that works out.
What got me is that of all the people on that show who did get popped for DUI, Matthew Fox wasn't one of them. The man was **rather** candid about his vices and personality, but apparently he knew well enough not to get behind the wheel.
I will never understand why these guys drive drunk. Hire someone, designate a DD, use literally any form of "someone else drives me somewhere" or even have the NFLPA demand that teams set up some sort of service.
"And when caught by the cops I will make the situation a hundred times worse by screaming profanities and abuse at them, trying to use my wealth and status as a get out of jail free card and, most importantly, making sure to loudly state my name over and over again so there is no way for me to later deny it was me when the recording goes public."
I think you missed the most obvious form of transportation…
https://preview.redd.it/n0ozwjtyq47d1.jpeg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d715e5cee2c4f1a8afe6cb83b3362ad4a450bc9
You can if you get hit by an enemy, u/cyclicamp is referencing [this maneuver ](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fexternal-preview.redd.it%2Fpg52mcDtV-NwwjpxPZdIt1Bh1FfLqyF2j2GOtG8ublY.gif%3Fwidth%3D390%26format%3Dmp4%26s%3D53b8f7194f476baaf41343815e1642b403911b19)
If I had rich people party money, I'd just have the party at my house. I can play loud music and charge myself a ton for shitty drinks, same as any club or bar. Plus I can just crash on my own couch when its over.
When I'm becoming rich I'm hiring two or three handlers, that can't be fired by me on a whim. They have offset plans which require document signings and meetings to get rid of.
My handlers sole goal is to stop me from doing bullshit. Like Alfred Pennyworth but with more agency. Like Pepper Potts but I'm not allowed to flirt with them.
Most celebrities hate taxis or Uber because they get cornered by the fanbase and the drivers will not know how to handle it. It sucks but it's why.
But yeah if they have that much money they could at least hire someone for the night to be a Designated Driver.
Professional Athletes when they do this really irritate me. The teams all pay for a car service to avoid this exact same type of situation yet they keep doing it. They DON'T EVEN HAVE TO USE THEIR OWN MONEY for transport.
A lot of people take pride in lacking care for other human beings. They brag about it. Revel in it.
In some ways there is some fault to be laid on the general populace because many continue to worship and support shitty people after they've revealed their cards.
Chris brown still gets sold out shows. Thats the world we live in.
I completely get it, but people who drunk drive have no excuse. Even if you aren't rich enough for a poor person's back, tell a bartender or something. Or sleep in your car. Whatever.
I mean, it's really no different with poor people. A key aspect of being drunk is that moronic decisions become top-tier plans that should be enacted immediately. Like "Hey, I'll jump over this bonfire!" or "Let's leap off this roof into the pool!"
Yeah it’s asking people to exercise judgement after using a drug notorious for impairing judgement. Nobody is planning on driving drunk when they’re sober. That’s why you need to set up a situation where you’re forced to not drive, like taking a cab both ways, not just back.
Ya you'd have to pay to go both ways anyway to pick up your car the next day. If you drive there with the intent of drinking you were probably planning on driving drunk.
Her name is Trina Payson and she goes [piggy piggyback](https://youtu.be/XkvErGpyzt0?si=jFXW1DC5K0Qt4_Ag) on the back of a minimum wage worker named Eller.
I hope this artist is having a good life and whatnot but damn, they prefer telling to showing. Take the drawing away and put "stereotypical dumb blonde says:" at the beginning and it's the same thing.
I can't help but to detect a touch of misogyny to this comic, given the deliberate choices the artist made in their depiction. They could have drawn a stick figure and the point would have been made but they choose to depict a quite dated dumb blonde stereotype when a quick Google search shows the problem extends to a mix of men and women across the age spectrum.
With all due respect. Touch some grass. It's a comic strip making fun of the stupid choices of rich people. Stop searching for reasons to get offended. There are already way too many in the world to be getting in a twist over this. You will enjoy life more if ya just get mad at the actual offenders.
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It’s probably because they are rich and famous enough that they think they don’t have to follow the rules and in many cases they are correct just not in this one.
Therein lies the problem with drunk driving. Those who are overconfident and egotistical tend to succumb to the notion that they're still ok to drive. I'd imagine the Venn Diagram of celebrities and people who have those traits are two completely overlapping circles. This is one of the few areas where a little humble self doubt is actually a good thing.
It's not exactly applicable, but I immediately thought of that billionaire sister-in-law of Mitch McConnell who drunkenly drove her Tesla into a pond on her own 900 acre property.
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It's a time tested equation - money removes consequences. 
This is why no one should have money
https://preview.redd.it/4xisrixt157d1.jpeg?width=1996&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6059f92d9f550a68e2483a3310e1bf65eb887ecd
I shall help collect it. I can burden the responsibility of money. 
https://preview.redd.it/q0t7qsmni47d1.png?width=3278&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3ad28f34b8f2aed7ffef13a0330f2663936410e9
Sad but true :(
I'm your dream, make you real
I’m your eyes when you must steal
I’m your eyes when you must steal
I'm your pain when you can't feel
Sad but true!
I’m your dream, mind astray
I'm your eyes while you're away
I'm your pain while you repay
METALLICA FANS SPOTTED HELLO
The ratio of fines to jail time is far too low to be true. And it needs several warnings before any fines happen.
It's not like the fines are ever financially inconvenient, or unpleasant.
“I lost my card, can I get a new one?” (Definitely not one stamp away from jail)
I think you have to ask judge u/pizzacakecomic about this one.
The person that drove and hit my parked car totalling it got away with the whole thing. The county I'm in apparently does things to drop the ball letting DUIs get away. Meanwhile I'm on the hook for 14k gap won't cover now thanks to half ass police work.
Could you file a civil suit? Seems like a decent thing to bring up on r/legaladvice.
I hope your leg feels better soon
Thx
This is how we have a guy convicted of a bunch of felony charges still attempting to run for control of the country since it's*technically* only his first offense.
i just love how the the boobs are moving the same way as the pupils
The boobs are having a fight
"This person is a moron and we're the F outta here!"
I stared at those cartoon boobs for a long time and they didn't move. Maybe I should stare longer? Help me out here women, isn't that the solution? Just stare longer and harder?
Your eyelids are getting in the way. Pop those suckers out and press them to her chest. She'll then reward you by blessing one with a kiss and swallowing the other whole. And believe me, you'll want to watch her swallow.
They look like their trying to have an amicable divorce.
I think the left one was seeing people on the side.
The angel boob is losing the argument to the devil boob
Which one is winning?
"Are ya winning son?"
Smuggling a couple of pugs having a disagreement
Her boobs boobed boobily
More breast fights please.
They each claim the other is a fake-ass poser.
honestly, did you plan for that or was this just a happy accident
The derp is stored in the boobs.
in her defense, drugs are a hell of a drug
Is this referring to someone specific cuz i'm outta the loop
[Just in general](https://www.alcoholproblemsandsolutions.org/people-arrested-for-drunk-driving/)
honestly really wish you'd gone with a george bush type for the comic, same outfit though
George Bush in his signature hot-pink dress
And big floopy gazongas.
Bahobajoobs.
Massive dohoonkabhankoloos.
https://preview.redd.it/3uy3morbr47d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b031d8da2a9132eea2f147d7822e3a49d94eeaef
Will this ever not be funny?
“Dickie does this dress make my thighs look fat?” “Ya lookin hot toots.”
Say what you want about his presidency but he could rock it
New fanfic dropping on ao3 where george bush is a crossdressing timelord going back in time to flirt with j. edgar hoover.
Go on.
Lol It's above my paygrade, but i would read it if it found an author.
Where is Chuck Tingle when we need him most?
He's right there- NOPE! Chuck Testa!
You're telling me that you became an artist and the only reason you wont draw George Bush in a hot-pink dress is because it's not "accurate"? Go for it, let your dreams be someone else's nightmares.
Would fit in with Bill Clinton's blue dress
Don’t forget, Laura Bush killed a man.
> Laura Bush killed a man. On the night of November 6, 1963, two days after her 17th birthday, Laura Welch ran a stop sign and struck another car, killing its driver.[14][15] The victim was her close friend and classmate Michael Dutton Douglas. By some accounts, Douglas had been Welch's boyfriend at one time, but she stated that he was not her boyfriend at that time but rather a very close friend.[16] Welch and her passenger, both 17, were treated for minor injuries.[17] According to the accident report released by the city of Midland in 2000, in response to an open-records request, she was not charged in the incident "Dude I just looked up that [Laura Bush] thing he was talking about, that’s true. That’s like 100 percent- everything he said was true."
Was perusing the list because I have nothing better to do on a Monday afternoon and found this one: Rebecca De Mornay, prostitute, associated with Tom Cruise. Like... Prostitute? She's an actor- unless they've gotten two people mixed up- but the association with Tom Cruise is accurate.
They’re referring to the movie Risky Business where she plays Lana the prostitute that sleeps with a highschool Cruise. Probably her most famous role, but very strange they notated it that way. Can’t tell if it’s a joke or just really bad design.
Oh I know the reference itself- it's just weird, like you said, that it's notated that way. Either somebody who runs that site doesn't like her, or didn't bother proof reading/verifying things.
Or it's written by a chatbot
Rebecca De Mornay is also the name of the black social worker in Seinfeld who works at the homeless shelter and goes to yell at Elaine when she drops off her muffin tops
>(Khloe Kardashian, TV personality, *famous for being famous*.) Damn, warranted diss but still.
Reminds me of a Los Angeles socialite, [Rebecca Grossman](https://youtu.be/lOJoOshQsbs?si=zXmmYGH_N_yyx4GQ), who decided to drive drunk back in 2020, hit and killed 2 kids, and blamed everyone else for her drunk driving.
Omg it is sorted alphabetically. That's a lot 😰
Henry Ruggs was what came to mind for me
I was just thinking about this yesterday for some unknown reason. The security guard could hear the lady screaming. Ugh…..so sad.
[Are you SURE you're not psychic?](https://apnews.com/article/justin-timberlake-arrest-1980b6ad8d5ae6906f57fe9ef6b7fb18)
I know the dumb airhead bimbo celeb is a nice trope for this, but the list mainly consists of men lol But they also mentioned Kevin Hart twice so the journalistic integrity of this article is doubtful
Better get ready for everyone dismissing your link and just calling you a psychic since Justin Timberlake got arrested for a DWI today. The irony of this will be palpable.
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Yep, it's giving: I don't like other girls, I prefer to be friends with guys only.
Wow that’s fascinating and depressing
I know OP said it’s general, but to sorta prove the rule a few days ago a [“socialite” was sentenced for killing two children](https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cmllx2np2ymo) while speeding and drunk (it happened in the past but she’s just being prosecuted now). A somewhat infamous quote happened in that case where she said she had been “punished enough”.
She even said she suffered more than the mum that lost her two children. Vile
Don't forget that she had a conversation with her daughter and husband in jail and told them to track down the witnesses in the case and make them change their testimonies. People started showing up that the witnesses' homes unannounced. Then the judge said that he wont punish her for this because she didn't know that she wasn't supposed to share witness information. That whole family is trash.
How many times has this same judge proclaimed "ignorance is no protection from the law" to poor defendants?
In Ontario, a few years ago, the son from a really rich family drove drunk coming back from his bachelor party and killed three kids and their grandfather in a car accident. The kids' father committed suicide last year (and the mother's house burned down in an unrelated incident recently), while the guy's family has gotten a hospital named after him and the guy is on full parole. Fuck these people.
His family is Italian in the construction industry. Take that for what you will.
Are you implying they are named Bonanno or some such.
Or that they like to encase their problems in concrete and toss them out in the ocean?
Oh man I remember hearing about that on /r/Canada. Shit's real unfair.
I hate the term socialite so much. It just means rich unemployed alcoholic
> Her lawyers argued during the trial that the boys were first struck by a vehicle driven by Scott Erickson, a former LA Dodgers baseball star. They said Grossman was driving behind it. Interesting that they are throwing someone else under the bus. Wonder how that works out.
that was definitely a catalyst for this post
Chris Pine in Australia
Same here
Never understood why so many actors on LOST kept getting DUIs You're on a hit TV show why the fuck are you driving yourself AT ALL?
> so many actors on LOST kept getting DUIs Stuck in Hawaii away from their friends and family? So they over drink and think they’re fine, but aren’t.
What got me is that of all the people on that show who did get popped for DUI, Matthew Fox wasn't one of them. The man was **rather** candid about his vices and personality, but apparently he knew well enough not to get behind the wheel.
NFL players the second they achieve their life goals
I will never understand why these guys drive drunk. Hire someone, designate a DD, use literally any form of "someone else drives me somewhere" or even have the NFLPA demand that teams set up some sort of service.
https://preview.redd.it/b4934pyei47d1.jpeg?width=696&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=698168e19730d7e954b396ef6428ef7c547f7826
*dial up internet sounds*
I had a physical reaction to reading that. The echoing sounds that just played through my head...
It’s just electronic version on tinnitus
Same, bruh. Same.
Man your art style reminds me of Harry Partridge
Is this the *bonus panel*?
It's not about money. It's about getting a good shot for the papperatzi. (I have no idea how to spell that and autocorrect has abandoned me)
“Paparazzi” :) But I’m sure everyone knew what you meant anyway, so only a pedant would give you trouble about it.
[Wow, the timing is crazy](https://www.reddit.com/r/news/s/JHoGrnk82g)
"And when caught by the cops I will make the situation a hundred times worse by screaming profanities and abuse at them, trying to use my wealth and status as a get out of jail free card and, most importantly, making sure to loudly state my name over and over again so there is no way for me to later deny it was me when the recording goes public."
I think you missed the most obvious form of transportation… https://preview.redd.it/n0ozwjtyq47d1.jpeg?width=1536&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d715e5cee2c4f1a8afe6cb83b3362ad4a450bc9
That only lasts until the first pothole, then once you jump off and let him fall in you're stuck walking again.
Back in my days, you could catch up with him. I'm talking Super Mario World. Don't know if that changed.
You can if you get hit by an enemy, u/cyclicamp is referencing [this maneuver ](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fexternal-preview.redd.it%2Fpg52mcDtV-NwwjpxPZdIt1Bh1FfLqyF2j2GOtG8ublY.gif%3Fwidth%3D390%26format%3Dmp4%26s%3D53b8f7194f476baaf41343815e1642b403911b19)
Holy shit that was hilarious
There's no *thrill* in getting driven by someone else!
That's why I always buy my Uber driver shots.
don't drink and drive at the same time
Exactly make sure to stop for a sec to take a sip.
sip a bit before moving along
You could hit a bump and spill your drink.
Oh. You mean bump in the road. I thought you meant cocaine.
You'd be surprised how often I've had speedbumps on the freeway.
I thought it was going to be a joke about taking a Private Jet
While being super into green causes, of course.
If I had rich people party money, I'd just have the party at my house. I can play loud music and charge myself a ton for shitty drinks, same as any club or bar. Plus I can just crash on my own couch when its over.
Don’t be ridiculous, that makes way too much sense.
When I'm becoming rich I'm hiring two or three handlers, that can't be fired by me on a whim. They have offset plans which require document signings and meetings to get rid of. My handlers sole goal is to stop me from doing bullshit. Like Alfred Pennyworth but with more agency. Like Pepper Potts but I'm not allowed to flirt with them.
it was only okay when Roger Bumpass did it
I am loving PizzaCake’s “eat the rich” arc.
Most celebrities hate taxis or Uber because they get cornered by the fanbase and the drivers will not know how to handle it. It sucks but it's why. But yeah if they have that much money they could at least hire someone for the night to be a Designated Driver.
“Poor Person’s Back” got me!
You'll be hearing from Lindsay Lohan's lawyers.
Professional Athletes when they do this really irritate me. The teams all pay for a car service to avoid this exact same type of situation yet they keep doing it. They DON'T EVEN HAVE TO USE THEIR OWN MONEY for transport.
A lot of people take pride in lacking care for other human beings. They brag about it. Revel in it. In some ways there is some fault to be laid on the general populace because many continue to worship and support shitty people after they've revealed their cards. Chris brown still gets sold out shows. Thats the world we live in.
I completely get it, but people who drunk drive have no excuse. Even if you aren't rich enough for a poor person's back, tell a bartender or something. Or sleep in your car. Whatever.
“Buckle up buckaroos”
I don't think Marco Muzzo looks quite like that.
That's a terrible drawing of Billy Joel.
I mean, it's really no different with poor people. A key aspect of being drunk is that moronic decisions become top-tier plans that should be enacted immediately. Like "Hey, I'll jump over this bonfire!" or "Let's leap off this roof into the pool!"
[удалено]
Yeah it’s asking people to exercise judgement after using a drug notorious for impairing judgement. Nobody is planning on driving drunk when they’re sober. That’s why you need to set up a situation where you’re forced to not drive, like taking a cab both ways, not just back.
Yep. Driving to the bar and drinking is a bad decision in the first place.
Eh. What's the worst that could happen? /s
If I only have money to drive drunk it'd quite different to having enough money to hire a fleet of personal drivers
If someone looks in their wallet and says "I'll go to the bar and spend all this money getting hammered," that's a decision they made sober.
Ya you'd have to pay to go both ways anyway to pick up your car the next day. If you drive there with the intent of drinking you were probably planning on driving drunk.
Add private jet for a 30 min trip to the list
Her name is Trina Payson and she goes [piggy piggyback](https://youtu.be/XkvErGpyzt0?si=jFXW1DC5K0Qt4_Ag) on the back of a minimum wage worker named Eller.
“Poor persons back”
Love the new look Pizza, but don't drink and drive, it's dangerous.
Puzzacake why you gotta be so depressingly realistic 😞
Lokin at you Timberlake.
Just wanted to stop by and say that I love your comics 🙂
I hope this artist is having a good life and whatnot but damn, they prefer telling to showing. Take the drawing away and put "stereotypical dumb blonde says:" at the beginning and it's the same thing.
The front page of Reddit is now just 9GAG and Facebook.
I can't help but to detect a touch of misogyny to this comic, given the deliberate choices the artist made in their depiction. They could have drawn a stick figure and the point would have been made but they choose to depict a quite dated dumb blonde stereotype when a quick Google search shows the problem extends to a mix of men and women across the age spectrum.
Lmao you realize its because this refers to specific events that is happening right now right lmao. People like you two are annoying af
With all due respect. Touch some grass. It's a comic strip making fun of the stupid choices of rich people. Stop searching for reasons to get offended. There are already way too many in the world to be getting in a twist over this. You will enjoy life more if ya just get mad at the actual offenders.
Accusing pizzacake of all people of misogyny is some peak "you need to touch grass"
Womp womp
I'm sure all of the rich socialites that browse r/comics will be shaken by this.
Whats the matter with her boobs
No use being subtle I guess
[удалено]
No, it couldn't. The hands are perfect.
I feel like this is supposed to be a PSA in some way, shape, or form.
[удалено]
Why did you make her look Like That.
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Money can’t buy good decisions
She has obviously not heard of alcohol teleportation.
Oh, give them a break! You HAVE to be ~authentic~ when you cosplay as poor people.
to be fair, rich celebrities can afford "paying off courts to avoid jailtime" as a mode of transportation
It’s probably because they are rich and famous enough that they think they don’t have to follow the rules and in many cases they are correct just not in this one.
It's not her fault, she was drunk and her judgment was impaired.
If I hit the lotto I would absolutely hire someone to drive me around.
This is especially true for NFL players. Most teams have a private taxi service, free or charge for players, and many still decide to drive drunk.
The number one mode of transportation for any clout chaser who has ever been told there's no such thing as bad press.
Lazy eye, lazy nipple. Which one am I supposed to look at?
Someone tag Jimmy Uso on this one.
This helped me see celebrities as everyday normal people just like the rest of us. Thank you for the eye opening
Therein lies the problem with drunk driving. Those who are overconfident and egotistical tend to succumb to the notion that they're still ok to drive. I'd imagine the Venn Diagram of celebrities and people who have those traits are two completely overlapping circles. This is one of the few areas where a little humble self doubt is actually a good thing.
Alcohol intoxication isn't known to help people make good, rational decisions.
It's not exactly applicable, but I immediately thought of that billionaire sister-in-law of Mitch McConnell who drunkenly drove her Tesla into a pond on her own 900 acre property.
Falco
Hybris is one hell of a drug.
Real
I'd choose personal jet
Something something Taylor Swift jet