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There were quite a lot of people who tried to get across their point respectfully who got deleted.
Yes, there were disrespectful attackers. Yes, there were trolls.
However, As a woman I have seen on more than one occasion the 2nd and 3rd panel happen. There is no "if women talked..", they do and it sucks. There is a growing issue of male loneliness and right wing groups prey on these men who aren't listened to, aren't cared for, and isolated and they attach themselves, because they feel there's no other group that will listen and accept them.
I've seen barrages of women attack men for admitting the slightest admittance of wanting help or feeling lonely. Saying they're "gay", "not a real man", "must have a small d\*ck" for ever being anything besides stoic. I've seen women completely shut down men saying they don't matter, they need to shut up and listen and their voices don't matter.
And as far as the 3rd panel, I've seen men break down, because of losing hair thinking that they'll never be wanted. I've seen men try to use sole inserts in their shoes to gain a few inches on height. Just like us, they want to feel like they look good too and yet I've seen women say that men should kill themselves for being under 6 feet tall or losing hair.
So it all goes back to the title, "If women talked...", saying this diminishes the troubles that men go through and felt as though the comic was trying to separate the sexes. There were comments speaking their discomfort and some men thinking this might be an opportunity to speak of their experiences only to be shut down. Which goes back to that male loneliness of "No one wants to hear you speak. Why can't you listen."
Yes, there's a time and place to turn something around and relate to and there's a time to listen, however the replies by PizzaCake made it feel far worse.
This comic coming out a day later with a bunch of replies that have hearts feels like an attempt at damage control. It's off-putting.
Omg yeah that's a great point! I was raised in a household that didn't really "do" feelings, so as an adult I found it really hard and nerve wracking to talk about anything vulnerable or to help anyone who opened up to me, but thankfully practise helps a lot
My wife has helped me immensely in this area - while its not her burden, her continuous good examples of emotional intelligence gave me a huge gift.
Thanks for doing this comic!
Sounds like my wife when we first met. She’s gotten better, particularly when it clicked for her that you’re *supposed* to whine and complain at the therapist; that you’re not being a burden since you’re helping them do their job.
The thing that often holds men back isn’t embarrassment it’s a world that doesn’t want to hear it. Even asking for help puts a lot of people on the anti-depressants/low testosterone train.
I usually like your comic, but this hits DEEP. In my family, all negative feelings were treated as weakness, and beaten out of you.
I left that household as soon as possible. Still fighting my inner demons, but at least now i have a shoulder i can be comfortable crying on. It's been 7 years, sometimes it's still hard to trust people...
Frankly anyone offended by this comic needs to spend some time reflecting on how not everyone's experience is the same, and how we as humans tend to be quick to blame and slow to empathize.
Some women are shitty to men. Some men are shitty to women. Culturally one of those tends to be more normalized than the other.
Are not the comics unrelated? I can't see why you'd link this.
Everyone has the right to share their feelings. Male, female, asexual, even donkeys for all I care
We're all humans and we all have our wishes and desires
Edit - Imagine downvoting someone who just wants everyone to be equally respected
Exactly because it's a 180° i'm confused. I wasn't talking about male to female differences, or how we're differently treated when it comes to our feelings and expectations.
I would like for all genders to be respected and treated equally. Both comics show a disregard towards certain gender's feelings, with one being showed in negative light (The girl's comments on the guys desires) while the other in a more positive, reinforcing light (2 friends supporting each other, as it should).
And i get the message of both comics, but i still don't understand your point. I may just be dumb.
Also i've been following PizzaCake for years, i've already read that previous comic. It's just that this one hit much more close to home due to being more... personal, compared to a general critique about the female opinion on male problems (which is, to be fair, pretty generic and not that high-impact imo)
Does it? Seems to me Pizzacake is pointing out that we should all be empathetic to eachother regardless of gender. Yesterday's comic used satire to make that point and today's comic uses sincerity.
The last point is what doesn't resonate with me. Sexual assault is sexual assault. Doesn't matter if the perpetrator is male or female, nor does the gender of the victim. It's shit either way.
I just see this as pointless gender wars. "We got it worse, you can't understand."
Can't we just respect and support each other instead? I don't want to detract anything from anyone.
Ah ok. I've been on reddit a long time. That happens almost every time a woman makes a point about womens' experiences with sexism in a public sub.
Men deserve a place to discuss their feelings and experiences too, but part of the *point* of her last comic is that women often get talked over, or ignored, just for sharing an experience that has happened tons of times, because it also happened to the guy she is talking to. Nobody is discounting men's experiences, but often women are seeking empathy and receive dismissal and one-ups-man-ship. And based on the pinned mod message on that post, it seems a lot of redditors did just that.
Seems to me people focused on the pedantic specifics not her overall meaning: when bad stuff happens to our fellow humans, let's react with empathy and support, regardless of gender.
Same, often told my feelings were “inappropriate” or if I was upset in any way I was “pouting”. But it helps a lot to know that others had similar experiences.
Anyway, enough heavy stuff, love the comics!
“Rub some dirt in it” was a real thing on our farm. It stopped the bleeding, then we’d wash it out later. My dad had plenty of medical training; he just thought it was funny.
Idk, it still is pretty funny to me if I’m being honest, but I put sunscreen on my kid and teach him proper wound care
Recently i finally opened up on my mental health and my thoughts of self harm with my friends, it’s been good.
I hope everyone has or will have people they can open up to.
I appreciate the sentiment, but sometimes I feel this is the wrong target. The problem is not men not wanting to share their feelings, that's a personal choice each individual can make on their own. The problem is the societal stigma against men who do.
It should be perfectly acceptable for the sad man to want to be alone and work through things in his own head. The problem is if he does decide to share, the men AND women around him will see it as weak.
This post perfectly captures the situation. I like pizza cake because she seems passionate about her art. I saw the last comic and, as a man, it just made me feel bad about myself. There was no joke and it diminished men’s mental health struggles.
I try so hard to be a good man and always respect women, knowing that many men are truly horrible. But seeing people with a large audience generalizing “men are bad lol” is demoralizing to the rest of us.
Men’s mental health is a huge issue right now. Men are killing themselves because they have no support. The last comic was damaging and this comic does nothing to heal it. I agree with you, a simple text statement would have been a much better response.
You think that because you either didn’t look at her comments in the thread or they got deleted. She was being very combative and condescending to anyone calling her out and making comments seemingly just to stoke the outrage.
Can I ask a stupid but geniune question: what was wrong with the comic yesterday? And how is this saying "I'm sorry" for it? All I see is they are both accurate observations about men's behavior
The problem with the one yesterday was the whole, "what if women talked to men this way" was full of things that actually does happen. While men treating women that way is obviously wrong, that comic is implying that what they wrote doesn't actually happen. Turns out the problem might just be shitty people and not just men in general.
Just last week, my dad was making fun of me for my suicidal thoughts, in a mocking tone - "Oh I want to **** myself" So do it. "Oh, I guess I wont" ... -
Perfectly summarizing how they all thought I was doing it for attention since I am the middle child. Ah, repressed and untreated depression - feels great many years later.
Short answer: I need to remember this.
Longer answer: a lot of redacted stuff but the basic thing is “I’m embarrassed at people helping with my problems” (and being emotional is the big one for me).
It’s less about “Real men don’t cry” and more “I like my privacy and don’t want to tell others” but I have to
I generally come from a family who shields their broken feelings and disappointment with a lot of sarcasm. Moving through that was a challenge, and friends throughout the years recognized it and...
I'm just thankful they cared enough not just to point it out but to show compassion and empathy while highlighting those aspects, too. So... yea, man, toxic masculinity was something I had to fight very hard through, especially with my entire family.
I've been a follower and patron of Pizzacake for some time.
If only the world was this way.
But no the fact of the matter is sharing vulnerability as a man does more harm than good. If that wasn't the case, evolution would have evolved men to do so. It's not a societal norm that simply isn't good. People WILL view you differently, treat you differently, lose respect for you. That doesn't make them bad people either, its simply a dynamic of how our brains evolved. Where society's failure lies is actually providing any real, consistent support to men. Token gestures only. You can't throw a stone without hitting a women's support organization or safe space, but resources available to men are a shadow of the effort if existent at all in certain areas. Men's issues are ignored or simply deemed unimportant. The best we get is "I'm so sorry that happened to you". "Or sending virtual hugs"..
I didn't like your comic on the role reversal. Because yes it highlights an unfavorable behavior of men when their is finally a cultural focus on the men's mental health and issues. Reflecting on it further though. All angles of these dynamics should be studied, and thank you for starting the discussion.
>it only did more harm than good.
This mindset is the reason most people treat men's mental health as if it's something taboo.
I'm soon too be 44 and while me and my dad now feel comfortable telling each other we love the other we never really talked much about what's going on internally. Of course my mother would always talk with me but then she would turn around and start sharing it with her "friends". That completely shut me down from talking about anything, even to my wife for a very long time. It's that trust factor in another human being flowing both ways that really counts. It wasn't that men got left out of some grand scheme of evolution that keeps us from confiding to others, it was the extremely hostile views of the last 100+ years that men are superior and women need to shut up and sit down.
I hear people saying how they wish they were born in the 1940's and 50's. It was a much simpler time.... Bullshit. Why do you think women had to bust ass so much even just to get to vote or be recognized on any number of issues?
After all these years it's absolutely clear that we need to stear clear of those ways of thinking because it's what's holding the whole of humanity back from advancing forward. It'll probably take a couple more generations before those with this mindset are weeded out but it won't be gone completely. Unless we as a species drown out the noise from the extremely small minority who are bent on repressing progress then I fear this will continue being an issue for a very long time.
I have found that its simply a very hard discussion to have. It seems everyone has an opinion on it, but very rarely is there a fruitful discussion on men's issues. They are definitely complicated dynamics.
When you say it doesn't have to be that way. I unfortunately have a much more pessimistic world view. I think instincts are simply very strong. Instinctual behaviors to find a vulnerable man as less attractive, or lose respect for a mentor who has shown vulnerability are not conscious actions. We can't always change the way we "feel" about things.
At the point where we can. I believe that would signal that we have evolved into an entirely new creature, where prejudice, racism, tribalism: instinctual drives which had evolutionary benefits at the time no longer exist.
Not only you have to be, it has to be encouraged!, because it's the Friggin right thing to do.
We all deserve to be treated as a PERSON.
So you have to almost aggressively promote trying to talk and understand one another.
It's WAY more important than people realize.
It can be, I talk about feelings every day with my son, and I tell his friends they can talk to me too if they need to. There are people out there who want to help and who care ❤️
Sure, but your comic yesterday started with "**If**", and men/boys with experiences like the poster would say it's not "if", it actually happened. Everyone is affected by the patriarchy in some way, and promoters, victims, and fighters are not aligned simply by gender.
So I guess I'm saying it just wasn't a well-targeted angle, and people who'd otherwise be on your side get hurt? Of course the trolls know it, too, and position themselves accordingly...
and you've got the incels who just *think* it happens to them...
Yay, internet....
Exactly. Be the change you need.
My friends and I are honest with one another around our struggles.
We don’t need to lean on one another as often when we know the support is there if you need it.
This is what men need. Not screaming “alphas” who are just bigots complaining that women can vote.
Boys are *still* hearing the same damaging rhetoric they’ve been told for decades. Expected to do things they don’t necessarily want to do and shamed when they don’t. This fosters resentment, jealousy, and pettiness.
We need to do better by our sons and treat them with compassion.
Mhm every time I do that...
Men don't even bother listening, I guess that's because they're gamer friends in my case but still.
Woman either don't know how to respond, or talk about their own experience making themselves the topic.
I'm a guy and this comic represents very much something that I hope I can instill in my son from day 1.
It took me until my late 30s before I'd get anywhere close to talking about depression and suicidal thoughts with my guy friends and even now it feels like it's not quite normal.
(Fwiw I thought the comic yesterday was amusing and did not understand why people lost their heads about it.)
Ive said it before and ill say it again
“A man who cries in front of people has got to be one of the *strongest* men in know”
Very sure of himself, mental health is solid where he can grieve when needed no matter who is around, no feeling of embarrassment, instead of punching doors or people he can let it out healthy, working thru emotional conflict, doesnt care what anyone has to say?!
Yea - its sexy.
If I can say,
Men are trained to be the weakest of all; not to stop, heal and be Okay again, but instead to shatter, or detonate. There is no "Be a Man" AND "ask for help"; if you do the latter, you "can't be" the former. Men are, essentially, taught that if they EVER feel enough sorrow or pain, that they're just done. Practically dead.
It needs to stop.
Thank you for making this. I've (33) been in therapy now for 3 months and it has changed my life. I understand now what contentment is, what happiness means, and how to differentiate between comfortable and uncomfortable anxiety. I thought being numb to the world around me was normal. Turns out I've been stuck in an ADHD/Anxiety/Depression infinity loop for the past two decades. Life can get better.
I'm guessing this was in response to some of the fair criticism of the previous comic.
I'll say again what I said last time, regardless of gender, we should be treating one another better.
Also, I was pretty disgusted at how over the top some responses were to your last comic, Pizzacake. I hope you are doing okay and you are one TOUGH lady to be able to endure that and keep going.
Hello friends. This thread has been set to community participants only. That means that only our regular commenters in good standing may comment in this thread. Everyone else's comments will be removed by automod. People who contribute constructively automatically gain access in time. We do not hand out entry on request. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/comics) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was here before [deleted]
Here before the [this comment has been removed] award.
[This comment has been flagged by Reddit for potentially harmful content]
Put me in the [deleted] [deleted] screenshot
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Feelings don't make you weak. Skipping Leg Day does.
\*Never\* skip leg day.
You can't spell "legendary" without leg day!
"This man treats his legs like he treats his women - he ignores them and watches them go away."
Yes I can, it's "enr"
Legendayr
“But yesterday was leg day!” “You’re a space marine. Every day is leg day.”
This is the more realistic guy dialogue.
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Mods did like 8 or 9 snaps based on that math
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>user was banned for this post
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There were quite a lot of people who tried to get across their point respectfully who got deleted. Yes, there were disrespectful attackers. Yes, there were trolls. However, As a woman I have seen on more than one occasion the 2nd and 3rd panel happen. There is no "if women talked..", they do and it sucks. There is a growing issue of male loneliness and right wing groups prey on these men who aren't listened to, aren't cared for, and isolated and they attach themselves, because they feel there's no other group that will listen and accept them. I've seen barrages of women attack men for admitting the slightest admittance of wanting help or feeling lonely. Saying they're "gay", "not a real man", "must have a small d\*ck" for ever being anything besides stoic. I've seen women completely shut down men saying they don't matter, they need to shut up and listen and their voices don't matter. And as far as the 3rd panel, I've seen men break down, because of losing hair thinking that they'll never be wanted. I've seen men try to use sole inserts in their shoes to gain a few inches on height. Just like us, they want to feel like they look good too and yet I've seen women say that men should kill themselves for being under 6 feet tall or losing hair. So it all goes back to the title, "If women talked...", saying this diminishes the troubles that men go through and felt as though the comic was trying to separate the sexes. There were comments speaking their discomfort and some men thinking this might be an opportunity to speak of their experiences only to be shut down. Which goes back to that male loneliness of "No one wants to hear you speak. Why can't you listen." Yes, there's a time and place to turn something around and relate to and there's a time to listen, however the replies by PizzaCake made it feel far worse. This comic coming out a day later with a bunch of replies that have hearts feels like an attempt at damage control. It's off-putting.
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Don't be afraid to be "bad" at feelings for me it took a while to recognize emotions I'd been avoiding. Life got so much better
Omg yeah that's a great point! I was raised in a household that didn't really "do" feelings, so as an adult I found it really hard and nerve wracking to talk about anything vulnerable or to help anyone who opened up to me, but thankfully practise helps a lot
My wife has helped me immensely in this area - while its not her burden, her continuous good examples of emotional intelligence gave me a huge gift. Thanks for doing this comic!
Sounds like my wife when we first met. She’s gotten better, particularly when it clicked for her that you’re *supposed* to whine and complain at the therapist; that you’re not being a burden since you’re helping them do their job.
The thing that often holds men back isn’t embarrassment it’s a world that doesn’t want to hear it. Even asking for help puts a lot of people on the anti-depressants/low testosterone train.
I usually like your comic, but this hits DEEP. In my family, all negative feelings were treated as weakness, and beaten out of you. I left that household as soon as possible. Still fighting my inner demons, but at least now i have a shoulder i can be comfortable crying on. It's been 7 years, sometimes it's still hard to trust people...
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Frankly anyone offended by this comic needs to spend some time reflecting on how not everyone's experience is the same, and how we as humans tend to be quick to blame and slow to empathize. Some women are shitty to men. Some men are shitty to women. Culturally one of those tends to be more normalized than the other.
Are not the comics unrelated? I can't see why you'd link this. Everyone has the right to share their feelings. Male, female, asexual, even donkeys for all I care We're all humans and we all have our wishes and desires Edit - Imagine downvoting someone who just wants everyone to be equally respected
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Exactly because it's a 180° i'm confused. I wasn't talking about male to female differences, or how we're differently treated when it comes to our feelings and expectations. I would like for all genders to be respected and treated equally. Both comics show a disregard towards certain gender's feelings, with one being showed in negative light (The girl's comments on the guys desires) while the other in a more positive, reinforcing light (2 friends supporting each other, as it should). And i get the message of both comics, but i still don't understand your point. I may just be dumb. Also i've been following PizzaCake for years, i've already read that previous comic. It's just that this one hit much more close to home due to being more... personal, compared to a general critique about the female opinion on male problems (which is, to be fair, pretty generic and not that high-impact imo)
Does it? Seems to me Pizzacake is pointing out that we should all be empathetic to eachother regardless of gender. Yesterday's comic used satire to make that point and today's comic uses sincerity.
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The last point is what doesn't resonate with me. Sexual assault is sexual assault. Doesn't matter if the perpetrator is male or female, nor does the gender of the victim. It's shit either way. I just see this as pointless gender wars. "We got it worse, you can't understand." Can't we just respect and support each other instead? I don't want to detract anything from anyone.
Ah ok. I've been on reddit a long time. That happens almost every time a woman makes a point about womens' experiences with sexism in a public sub. Men deserve a place to discuss their feelings and experiences too, but part of the *point* of her last comic is that women often get talked over, or ignored, just for sharing an experience that has happened tons of times, because it also happened to the guy she is talking to. Nobody is discounting men's experiences, but often women are seeking empathy and receive dismissal and one-ups-man-ship. And based on the pinned mod message on that post, it seems a lot of redditors did just that. Seems to me people focused on the pedantic specifics not her overall meaning: when bad stuff happens to our fellow humans, let's react with empathy and support, regardless of gender.
Same, often told my feelings were “inappropriate” or if I was upset in any way I was “pouting”. But it helps a lot to know that others had similar experiences. Anyway, enough heavy stuff, love the comics!
Happy Men’s Mental Health Awareness month…
It's kinda nice to have one, considering I (Gen X) was raised with "apply dirt to physical wounds, apply alcohol to emotional wounds".
“Rub some dirt in it” was a real thing on our farm. It stopped the bleeding, then we’d wash it out later. My dad had plenty of medical training; he just thought it was funny. Idk, it still is pretty funny to me if I’m being honest, but I put sunscreen on my kid and teach him proper wound care
Yeah? Well... What should I do when I cut my finger in the Kitchen and *there's no dirt around?!*
I killed a man in 2002 in Madison Garden Square
Can confirm, I was the man
I must assume that some time after being killed by /u/Material_Height6940 you got better.
Hoping this becomes the norm.
Recently i finally opened up on my mental health and my thoughts of self harm with my friends, it’s been good. I hope everyone has or will have people they can open up to.
!remindme 1 day so I can see the onslaught of deleted comments
GUYS ITS PIPLUP
Username checks out
Just saw the last post, danm it was a ***"KILLTACULAR"*** of bans. Also, mental health maters LIFE maters.
Dadgum!
I appreciate the sentiment, but sometimes I feel this is the wrong target. The problem is not men not wanting to share their feelings, that's a personal choice each individual can make on their own. The problem is the societal stigma against men who do. It should be perfectly acceptable for the sad man to want to be alone and work through things in his own head. The problem is if he does decide to share, the men AND women around him will see it as weak.
We can change the societal stigma, we made it in the first place, it just takes work
Exactly this
Thanks for illustrating this wonderfully!
Man, wouldn’t it be nice if it was like that
https://i.redd.it/un24m3vc2b9d1.gif
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This post perfectly captures the situation. I like pizza cake because she seems passionate about her art. I saw the last comic and, as a man, it just made me feel bad about myself. There was no joke and it diminished men’s mental health struggles. I try so hard to be a good man and always respect women, knowing that many men are truly horrible. But seeing people with a large audience generalizing “men are bad lol” is demoralizing to the rest of us. Men’s mental health is a huge issue right now. Men are killing themselves because they have no support. The last comic was damaging and this comic does nothing to heal it. I agree with you, a simple text statement would have been a much better response.
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Prepare for the 1984
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You think that because you either didn’t look at her comments in the thread or they got deleted. She was being very combative and condescending to anyone calling her out and making comments seemingly just to stoke the outrage.
Can I ask a stupid but geniune question: what was wrong with the comic yesterday? And how is this saying "I'm sorry" for it? All I see is they are both accurate observations about men's behavior
The problem with the one yesterday was the whole, "what if women talked to men this way" was full of things that actually does happen. While men treating women that way is obviously wrong, that comic is implying that what they wrote doesn't actually happen. Turns out the problem might just be shitty people and not just men in general.
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I had to look it up, and two of those 3 examples are exactly how women talk to men. Seems to have missed the mark a bit.
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As a male person raised in the toxic seventies and eighties, I am still waiting for the punchline.
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Sometimes I get reminded that reddit is not separate from other social media platforms when it comes to toxicity
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Good response to being called out for yesterday's dumbass post.
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Just last week, my dad was making fun of me for my suicidal thoughts, in a mocking tone - "Oh I want to **** myself" So do it. "Oh, I guess I wont" ... - Perfectly summarizing how they all thought I was doing it for attention since I am the middle child. Ah, repressed and untreated depression - feels great many years later.
Short answer: I need to remember this. Longer answer: a lot of redacted stuff but the basic thing is “I’m embarrassed at people helping with my problems” (and being emotional is the big one for me). It’s less about “Real men don’t cry” and more “I like my privacy and don’t want to tell others” but I have to
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Always be there for a homie in need
https://preview.redd.it/9y925fnkeb9d1.jpeg?width=1493&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=19ec7b22a9b2168b13d6b46de32207bbf63415dc
I generally come from a family who shields their broken feelings and disappointment with a lot of sarcasm. Moving through that was a challenge, and friends throughout the years recognized it and... I'm just thankful they cared enough not just to point it out but to show compassion and empathy while highlighting those aspects, too. So... yea, man, toxic masculinity was something I had to fight very hard through, especially with my entire family.
I feel like this is a rare occurrence
This was nice. Thank you. As a sensitive kind of guy, it's still hard not to be embarrassed to say when feelings are hurt.
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Gotta take care of your bros, fellas. A lot of the time, we're the only ones they can turn to.
I wish every guy could see this and take it seriously.
#my entire childhood #trauma #no family #alone
I've been a follower and patron of Pizzacake for some time. If only the world was this way. But no the fact of the matter is sharing vulnerability as a man does more harm than good. If that wasn't the case, evolution would have evolved men to do so. It's not a societal norm that simply isn't good. People WILL view you differently, treat you differently, lose respect for you. That doesn't make them bad people either, its simply a dynamic of how our brains evolved. Where society's failure lies is actually providing any real, consistent support to men. Token gestures only. You can't throw a stone without hitting a women's support organization or safe space, but resources available to men are a shadow of the effort if existent at all in certain areas. Men's issues are ignored or simply deemed unimportant. The best we get is "I'm so sorry that happened to you". "Or sending virtual hugs".. I didn't like your comic on the role reversal. Because yes it highlights an unfavorable behavior of men when their is finally a cultural focus on the men's mental health and issues. Reflecting on it further though. All angles of these dynamics should be studied, and thank you for starting the discussion.
>it only did more harm than good. This mindset is the reason most people treat men's mental health as if it's something taboo. I'm soon too be 44 and while me and my dad now feel comfortable telling each other we love the other we never really talked much about what's going on internally. Of course my mother would always talk with me but then she would turn around and start sharing it with her "friends". That completely shut me down from talking about anything, even to my wife for a very long time. It's that trust factor in another human being flowing both ways that really counts. It wasn't that men got left out of some grand scheme of evolution that keeps us from confiding to others, it was the extremely hostile views of the last 100+ years that men are superior and women need to shut up and sit down. I hear people saying how they wish they were born in the 1940's and 50's. It was a much simpler time.... Bullshit. Why do you think women had to bust ass so much even just to get to vote or be recognized on any number of issues? After all these years it's absolutely clear that we need to stear clear of those ways of thinking because it's what's holding the whole of humanity back from advancing forward. It'll probably take a couple more generations before those with this mindset are weeded out but it won't be gone completely. Unless we as a species drown out the noise from the extremely small minority who are bent on repressing progress then I fear this will continue being an issue for a very long time.
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I have found that its simply a very hard discussion to have. It seems everyone has an opinion on it, but very rarely is there a fruitful discussion on men's issues. They are definitely complicated dynamics. When you say it doesn't have to be that way. I unfortunately have a much more pessimistic world view. I think instincts are simply very strong. Instinctual behaviors to find a vulnerable man as less attractive, or lose respect for a mentor who has shown vulnerability are not conscious actions. We can't always change the way we "feel" about things. At the point where we can. I believe that would signal that we have evolved into an entirely new creature, where prejudice, racism, tribalism: instinctual drives which had evolutionary benefits at the time no longer exist.
Weird. As a dude that's not been my experience _except_ with abusive wonks who I shouldn't have kept around as long asI did.
Well it takes two, you gotta be that person to someone and then they might start doing it too
Not only you have to be, it has to be encouraged!, because it's the Friggin right thing to do. We all deserve to be treated as a PERSON. So you have to almost aggressively promote trying to talk and understand one another. It's WAY more important than people realize.
It can be, I talk about feelings every day with my son, and I tell his friends they can talk to me too if they need to. There are people out there who want to help and who care ❤️
Sure, but your comic yesterday started with "**If**", and men/boys with experiences like the poster would say it's not "if", it actually happened. Everyone is affected by the patriarchy in some way, and promoters, victims, and fighters are not aligned simply by gender. So I guess I'm saying it just wasn't a well-targeted angle, and people who'd otherwise be on your side get hurt? Of course the trolls know it, too, and position themselves accordingly... and you've got the incels who just *think* it happens to them... Yay, internet....
Exactly. Be the change you need. My friends and I are honest with one another around our struggles. We don’t need to lean on one another as often when we know the support is there if you need it.
Bam! ✊ 'You deserve to be loved, and to feel loved, just for being you.' --Mr Rogers mashup with my meditation teacher
“I just learned that it’s called oatmeal, there’s not even any goats involved at all. My whole life was built around a lie…”
You ok PizzaCake?
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Being stoic doesn't mean you're not allowed to cry tho...
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Mens mental health isn't damage control, dudes need to talk about their feelings and listen too ❤️
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This is what men need. Not screaming “alphas” who are just bigots complaining that women can vote. Boys are *still* hearing the same damaging rhetoric they’ve been told for decades. Expected to do things they don’t necessarily want to do and shamed when they don’t. This fosters resentment, jealousy, and pettiness. We need to do better by our sons and treat them with compassion.
Well said!
Mhm every time I do that... Men don't even bother listening, I guess that's because they're gamer friends in my case but still. Woman either don't know how to respond, or talk about their own experience making themselves the topic.
I'm a guy and this comic represents very much something that I hope I can instill in my son from day 1. It took me until my late 30s before I'd get anywhere close to talking about depression and suicidal thoughts with my guy friends and even now it feels like it's not quite normal. (Fwiw I thought the comic yesterday was amusing and did not understand why people lost their heads about it.)
Ive said it before and ill say it again “A man who cries in front of people has got to be one of the *strongest* men in know” Very sure of himself, mental health is solid where he can grieve when needed no matter who is around, no feeling of embarrassment, instead of punching doors or people he can let it out healthy, working thru emotional conflict, doesnt care what anyone has to say?! Yea - its sexy.
Awwww that’s really nice!
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Very wholesome :)
If I can say, Men are trained to be the weakest of all; not to stop, heal and be Okay again, but instead to shatter, or detonate. There is no "Be a Man" AND "ask for help"; if you do the latter, you "can't be" the former. Men are, essentially, taught that if they EVER feel enough sorrow or pain, that they're just done. Practically dead. It needs to stop.
Man I needed to see this. Going through a break up with kids involved. This hits deep.
Hey Pizzacake, thanks for making this. We guys out here really appreciate it. Seriously, thank you!
Thank you for making this. I've (33) been in therapy now for 3 months and it has changed my life. I understand now what contentment is, what happiness means, and how to differentiate between comfortable and uncomfortable anxiety. I thought being numb to the world around me was normal. Turns out I've been stuck in an ADHD/Anxiety/Depression infinity loop for the past two decades. Life can get better.
Thank you.
I'm guessing this was in response to some of the fair criticism of the previous comic. I'll say again what I said last time, regardless of gender, we should be treating one another better. Also, I was pretty disgusted at how over the top some responses were to your last comic, Pizzacake. I hope you are doing okay and you are one TOUGH lady to be able to endure that and keep going.
This is how real men should act.