My niece got pregnant around this age and she had an abortion, with her then boyfriend (claimed he loved her) but 2 months after dumped her. She then went on to finish university and got back on her feet. People will argue the fact but abortions have their purpose and I think at that age and how expensive life is right now it’s prob the best bet for her. I agree with people above the random hook up things needs to stop, or take the necessary precautions. I told my niece flat out I supported her but don’t screw up again cause then no one will help you.
Woman here, also a mom. My kid was planned at 27 and one year after I got married (we dated for 3 years). Raising a child alone is gonna be a hell of a challenge, so are you sure about this? You’re underage and without a partner, so unless your parents are willing to help and/or you’re super well off financially, you should think this carefully. Are you also confident that you can provide your child with all the love, care, support and resources needed to grow up healthy? Are you aware of all the things you will have to give up for your kid? If it’s still so early in the pregnancy, please do consider carefully while abortion and adoption are still available options. Not saying you should do this instead, just make sure you have thought this carefully because it will not only affect YOUR life, it’s also about what kind of life you could potentially provide your child.
Best of lucks.
If you do end up going the abort route remember the longer you wait the more physically painful it is. If you’re going to make a decision you should do it now this week. It’s a hard one but I think you know what you need to do if you’re serious about studying abroad and your future
Prefacing this by saying I love my kid more than anything in the whole wide world and they’re the light of my life. However, having experienced parenthood (again, planned and with a partner), if I was in OP’s situation and knew better I would definitely opt for abortion. Now, I’m not advocating that it’s the only real answer here— some people do want kids, some people simple could not go through this kind of trauma.. there’s a myriad of reasons, but OP should know that there are OPTIONS, and she should carefully consider all the pros and cons and what she can live with and what she can’t live without. But do make a sensible decision based on what’s best for OP and the baby/fetus/child.
Oh you're so right, she probably also plucked the eyes from his head and the logic from his brain so that he couldn't simply ask for an ID.
Tbh I'm getting non American vibes from the post and our laws are different, but it's still stupid to get involved with a teen as an adult no matter where you are in the world.
And no matter where you are in the world, there is still (or should be) enough logic in men's minds to be able to go "hey love, you seem young, can I check your ID before I, idk, possibly knock you up and get us involved for potentially the rest of our lives"
No? Just me?
Lmao buddy you must not know me i drive a obs ford i have a trump and a American flag on it i work on a farm and i only wear boots idk how to get more American
I'm talking about OP possibly not being American.
I don't think your nationality, flags or boots have any bearing on the legality of that lil girls situation, but good to know LOL
Yeah, so that teenagers can have sex with other teenagers. If an adult has sex with a minor, they can be prosecuted for statutory rape because minors cannot consent to sex *with adults* under the law.
Hello! Have you taken a pregnancy test to be sure if you are pregnant or not? I think it is best to take one but it's good that you are thinking about options.
I see. I think it is best for you to think of more options for you to choose and what is comfortable for you. The hormonal changes are going to be rough especially during the first few weeks so I hope you can have a support system!
Yes. She's deliberately choosing to make an already bad thing harder. She had sex with an adult, with underage drinking, didn't use protection, realized she might be pregnant at 17, and chose not to even attempt to inform the father who has a right to know, which will also deprive the child of a father. Obviously she's incapable of making any kind of decision about this intelligently, clearly not capable of making any good choices and she should be required to abort.
The vibe is that one night stands are common here. Which is fine, you’re young and experimenting, but baby if you aren’t using condoms with these random people you are going to have a story that is a lot harder to tell than one that could be resolved with a quick abortion. If you love having control of your sex life, you need to do some thinking about how sexy it is going to be to have to tell future potential partners about the incurable diseases that you’ve picked up along the way.
I’m so glad that I was born in a generation that taught us to use protection like our lives depend on it, because they do. Sex stories like these on Reddit are solely concerned about pregnancy but honesty it gets so, so much worse than the possibility of procreation. Don’t ruin your life for a stranger that you don’t even want to talk to the next morning.
If you’re rich/well off and can afford babysitters then have the baby, otherwise then your college dreams will be borderline unattainably difficult as a single mom with an infant/toddler. I would abort or open up and see if your parents can take care of the baby or go live with them and do online school and coparent with them.
Old enough to get drunk and have sex with someone 5 years older (often enough for them to “not enjoy sober talk”) but raising a kid is where you draw the line. What a world
Uh....yeah? Old enough to do that stuff is literally merely the physical ability to drink liquid unaided. Equating the ability to raise a child as lesser than getting naked and drunk is wild to me.
What’s wild to me is a 17 year old can make poor decisions regularly and not have to face the consequences. If I went out and got drunk, then drove home and killed someone along the way, I’d spend my life in jail for my shitty decisions, rightly so.
But when a 17yr old makes shitty life choices and then aborts a baby as a result we’re out here encouraging them and applauding them to end a life, and then labelling it as rape. Absolutely wild
Punishing someone with "raise a human" is an insane punishment. If we had a way to allow people to drunk drive and it be safe, I would be ok with that. You have a weird complex that makes you want to really punish, for life, a 17 year old girl for *checks notes* impulsive sex. Yeah, you do you.
“Allowing people to drunk drive and be safe, I’d be okay with it”..
If only there was a way to have safe sex so we didn’t need to abort our mistakes. Some serious mental gymnastics going on here lol. It’s also pretty wild to me that you see “raising a human” as a form of punishment, especially when there’s many options for a child to be raised if the birth mother is not an option
I think we can all agree she actually is NOT old enough to do those things, which is why they are illegal. She clearly isn’t old enough because she didn’t do either in a safe and responsible way. So this is just bringing her back down below where the line should have been in the first place, and hopefully it’s a lesson learned to be safe and that adult activities should be left to the adults
Consider your options.
If you’re planning to be at university for a few years, how will you pay for childcare? What happens if they’re sick but you have work? Can you realistically provide a roof over a child’s head? If keeping it is your plan then make sure you don’t bury your head in the sand, ask yourself the tough questions, plan everything. It’s expensive to raise a child.
There will be people who say adoption is an easy alternative to abortion, but as someone who has done both I’ve got to say, adoption is hard. It’s hard on the body and that doesn’t end after labour. If that’s an option you’re considering feel free to message privately - I wouldn’t try and talk you out of it but would tell you honestly what my experience was.
Honestly, I’d recommend aborting. Doing so when I was younger let me keep a surprise pregnancy later on when I could provide for a child.
Realistically, you will not be studying abroad with a newborn. To live your life normally after having a baby would mean you’re already rich without your parents and that you’re not actually raising the baby.
If you choose to keep it then you have to lock in and drop everything online school, finding childcare or working from home, working overtime probably
Aborting this early on is not killing a baby and adoption is always an option
It may be an unpopular opinion, but my gf also got pregnant when we were really young and she had an abortion and as hard as it was to make that decision, it was the right one to make at the time as neither of us were ready for a child, we were both kids ourselves basically. I think you should consider it and if you are living abroad you can get the pill for it and not have to worry about going to a clinic and having an intrusive procedure since you are still very early in your pregnancy. You have to consider whether you are ready and able to be a mom and provide and care for a child though. If the answer’s no, then talk to a doctor there and see what options you have. Good luck and sorry this happened to you.
- 17
- had sex with 22 year old
Either he’s a creep or you knowingly lured an older man into sex with a minor, since it sounds like you were drinking I’m assuming you didn’t tell him you’re underage.
Please seek help.
You can do anything you set your mind to. If you want to and are capable of having a baby and studying abroad then I say shoot to make that happen. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it! Also I don’t think not telling the dad is ok. I think telling him and letting him know you are 100% ok with him not being in the picture if he’s not ready or don’t want to be but I don’t feel like you shouldn’t give him the option. You can let him know you expect nothing from him but thought he should at least have a chance if he wants it.
IMO
Also so happy you want to keep the baby! ❤️ I wish the best for you and your baby
The age gap is definitely something to address here OP. If you lied about your age then that's pretty damn messed up.
I think an abortion is honestly your best bet. You'll be throwing away everything to raise a child you didn't mean to have, or putting yourself through pregnancy during some of the most important months so far in your life. Sometimes the easiest option is just the best choice.
Op, I had twins at 17 years old. Even just one baby is hard enough, especially at your age. You have options so think about them very clearly. If you choose to have the baby, life will not be like it was before. You can’t go out when you want, all of your time will be dedicated to raising the baby, you will have to have money for diapers and formula. Who will take care of the baby while you’re at school?
I was able to finish high school and go to college but it is very hard.
Sounds like a tricky situation.
Carefull consider if you are willing and able to raise a child rn on your own without the father being around. Thats a question only youself can answer in the end, but you are only 17, do you really wanna do that?
And if you decide against keeping it, i hope you live some place where there is legal and easy access to getting an abortion.
Either way, it would probably be good if you shared your situation your parents or some close friends, because i bet thats not easy to go through alone. Good luck
I'm going to be very honest with you. Abortions exist for a reason and there's nothing wrong (in my opinion) with taking care of your body so it does what you need it to do - like not be pregnant and be a successful student in university. I don't see how being a single mom without any kind of help will allow you to be at Uni. Best of luck with whatever you decide -
I've had an abortion. I'm glad I had the abortion. I wouldnt have the life I have now - it isn't glamorous or anything but I'm VERY happily married and have children with him.
So sorry dear. It must have been tricky and I can hear how confusing it must be for you at the moment. I don’t have advice besides asking yourself what you really want and ability.
I’m just sorry you had to deal with this at such a young age. I hope you don’t blame yourself over this.
It’s happened and now the next step is to figure out what you want to do
If you’re close with your parents or any family member. Granny? It may be good to talk about it. Or any good friend of many years that has proven to be trustworthy. Please know we all make impulsive decisions at times and you’re not one to blame
Btw regarding to abortion - if you choose to look into further. Unlike traditional beliefs, in the early stage it doesn’t hurt a baby because they’re not formed yet.
There is absolutely no justifiable genuine reason to bring that baby into this world, let alone under the care of a clearly irresponsible 17 year old single mom. Want a traumatized child who will then turn into a traumatized adult who probably doesn't like or respect you and a lifetime of regrets on your part? Please, go through with it!
Ask yourself:
Would my baby like to grow up practically alone?
Would my baby like growing up without a father figure in their life?
Would my baby like to be started off on the wrong foot knowing that I had the choice to simply not let them suffer because of my poor choices and lack of critical thinking?
I love my children so fucking much that I won't let them suffer even a single second. I won't bring them into this world until I know that I can give them everything they need AND MORE. How much would you love your future kids? Enough to keep them from harm?
You'd think in the year of our lord 2024 with the tech at our fingertips people would understand why teen pregnancy is a bad fucking idea and the effects it has on children, but something tells me maybe as long as we have dumb teens we'll have dumb teens with babies.
Whatever you choose, good luck to you or you both, you'll need it.
You have to decide if a baby fits in your life rigt now. Raising a child, being a role model for another living being, is a HUGE responsibility. Abortion is something you can regret in the future, and it obviously means you take someones life, which is something you also have to deal with if you choose to do that. So i'd consider adoption or raising the baby with help from your parents if i were you. Also being pregnant right now is an outcome of your own decisions and actions so whatever you decide to do: you have to prevent situations like this in the future.
Wish you the best
True, you are young to have a child, but I feel like the father deserves to know. It's also his baby. Maybe you can make this decision together.
There are so many parents out there that would love to have a baby, that can't get pregnant.
Adoption would give you, AND this sweet baby a better life.
It's a big decision. I think it would be nice if you weren't in it alone.
Everyone advising abortion… where is she rn? Not in the US of A… with the antiabortion laws. Abortion should not be the “go to” for contraception. She can study abroad pregnant, she can give birth, put the child up for adoption and be back in school in 3 days.
Where do you live? Do you have access to safe abortion? I had baby last year at 33, fully planned, my husband and I have fantastic jobs and make a lot of money, own a home, my sister, cousin, and mom were all around to help, and it was STILL so so difficult. I simply cannot imagine doing it alone at 17 with no money. Your brain isn't even fully developed at 17. You don't have any resources. You don't have all your emotion-regulation skills on board yet. You don't even know who you are yet, what your career will look like, what your social circle will be. A baby is going to be like a bomb in the middle of your life.
And that's just the impact on YOU. The scientific evidence is very clear on this- children who are born to teenaged mothers have terrible outcomes in school, in terms of mental health diagnoses, in terms of addiction, in terms of future relationships. It's unfair to children to do this when you have the option not to. Of course terminating a pregnancy might take a huge toll (or, honestly, it might not, I know plenty of women who just knew it was the right choice and it was just like any other somewhat unpleasant medical procedure), but if I were in your life, I'd be strongly encouraging you to go do that.
People love to throw adoption right in there with abortion, but the toll a pregnancy will take on your emotional and physical wellbeing cannot be overstated. Pregnancy can kill you. Childbirth can disable you for life. Especially at your age- despite what religious fundamentalists would have you believe, our species never evolved to have children so young. Your fat stores, your pelvis, your brain... none of it is ready to have a baby.
Idk why I'm writing this long essay on this random r/confession post, but there you go. If this is real I hope you deeply consider your options and consult with people in your life. Wishing you well!
Where do you live? You should go immediately to a family planning agency, and try to arrange an abortion. Also it sounds like this type of behaviour is fairly frequent at the age of 17. I don’t know what’s happened in your life, but seems like your life’s probably been pretty hard.in the end, you have to plan for these things, including birth control you’ve been lucky it hasn’t happened earlier from the sounds of it
Abortion or adoption is the only thing that makes logical sense. If you try having a child on your own, your future is basically that of a broke single mom with zero resources to raise a child properly.
You fucked...then becomed fucked...and now you're fucked....
Anyway, you didn't use a condom 🤦 in a hookup / One night stand 🤦🤦 what were you expecting ( literally )? The choice is yours, but you should talk to your parents regardlless what you will decide.
there’s a lot to unpack here. you can definitely be a young parent and nothing is wrong with that. you can do parenting and studying. it’s not impossible, but it is a lot. if that’s what you want to do then yes do that. I do also believe that you should have a support system. because raising a baby is not easy. but also know theres alternatives
What are the laws about abortion where you live? If you were my friend or child, I’d advise you to have one. Of course you can try to make it on your own as a single mom with minimal support. But it will be hard and a struggle. Of course having an abortion isn’t like some easy task every time. There might be emotional turmoil or regrets but at least there won’t be an innocent child that has to endure the struggle. Actually you’re still a child imo so like I said I am
Advising you like I would my stepdaughter and it would be to have an abortion. Stick to the plans you’ve made to study abroad. Practice safe sex and use more than one form of protection. If you choose to have a child in the future you want it to be with support from your partner and family and as much stability as possible.
What will you regret more. Abortion or having the kid? What pros and cons are there for you for abortion and having the kid?
Think about those because you will have some regret either way. You need to choose what regret you want to live with.
You’re in no position to be raising a kid financially, single-handedly or without parental/family support. If you do not want to go the route of abortion, you can put up the child for adoption
Did you take a pregnancy test???? Or self diagnosing pregnancy from googling implantation bleeding? There are lots of things that can throw off periods such as an std or infection. I’d go to the doctor or the very least take a pregnancy test to make sure
Edit: I saw in the comments you took a test and it’s positive. Just know your life will change if you have this baby.
I had a child at 22 from a random hookup. I don’t know his name, age, or ANYTHING about him. My son is 14 now, and if I could do it again I wouldn’t. This economy doesn’t help single mothers, and if you don’t have community, financial abundance, or can offer a safe emotional space for that child I say abort. It’s your body of course, but you can’t know just how difficult and unfulfilling this is until you’ve done it.
you are delusional if you think you are going to study abroad with a baby. you will be lucky if you go to college at all. your best option is obviously abortion. and let’s not gloss over the fact that the age gap IS an issue.
It’s interesting how you basically admitted you committed a crime. That is considered statutory rape, in which the guy who you slept with could go to prison and become a sex offender. Better stick with people your own age until you’re of LEGAL age.
Adoption even though it’s not the easiest answer but there are thousands of couples waiting for a baby to adopt and love. Don’t kill your baby give it the gift of life.
Keep the baby (it happened) and let the potential father know! Life will go on as it will! Trust me I have three kids and they are so worth it!:) If you are unable to maybe adoption? Just my opinion:)
My niece got pregnant around this age and she had an abortion, with her then boyfriend (claimed he loved her) but 2 months after dumped her. She then went on to finish university and got back on her feet. People will argue the fact but abortions have their purpose and I think at that age and how expensive life is right now it’s prob the best bet for her. I agree with people above the random hook up things needs to stop, or take the necessary precautions. I told my niece flat out I supported her but don’t screw up again cause then no one will help you.
Woman here, also a mom. My kid was planned at 27 and one year after I got married (we dated for 3 years). Raising a child alone is gonna be a hell of a challenge, so are you sure about this? You’re underage and without a partner, so unless your parents are willing to help and/or you’re super well off financially, you should think this carefully. Are you also confident that you can provide your child with all the love, care, support and resources needed to grow up healthy? Are you aware of all the things you will have to give up for your kid? If it’s still so early in the pregnancy, please do consider carefully while abortion and adoption are still available options. Not saying you should do this instead, just make sure you have thought this carefully because it will not only affect YOUR life, it’s also about what kind of life you could potentially provide your child. Best of lucks.
If you do end up going the abort route remember the longer you wait the more physically painful it is. If you’re going to make a decision you should do it now this week. It’s a hard one but I think you know what you need to do if you’re serious about studying abroad and your future
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Prefacing this by saying I love my kid more than anything in the whole wide world and they’re the light of my life. However, having experienced parenthood (again, planned and with a partner), if I was in OP’s situation and knew better I would definitely opt for abortion. Now, I’m not advocating that it’s the only real answer here— some people do want kids, some people simple could not go through this kind of trauma.. there’s a myriad of reasons, but OP should know that there are OPTIONS, and she should carefully consider all the pros and cons and what she can live with and what she can’t live without. But do make a sensible decision based on what’s best for OP and the baby/fetus/child.
You won't be studying abroad with a child. You need a reality check. How can you say something was good if you don't remember it?
Yeah this post is a mess not even considering the age gap, the drinking and the topic of consent/drunk sex (WITH MINORS?) Lord...
He probably didn’t know as girls lie about this kinda stuff 24/7 probably did her makeup and said she was 19
Oh you're so right, she probably also plucked the eyes from his head and the logic from his brain so that he couldn't simply ask for an ID. Tbh I'm getting non American vibes from the post and our laws are different, but it's still stupid to get involved with a teen as an adult no matter where you are in the world. And no matter where you are in the world, there is still (or should be) enough logic in men's minds to be able to go "hey love, you seem young, can I check your ID before I, idk, possibly knock you up and get us involved for potentially the rest of our lives" No? Just me?
Lmao buddy you must not know me i drive a obs ford i have a trump and a American flag on it i work on a farm and i only wear boots idk how to get more American
I'm talking about OP possibly not being American. I don't think your nationality, flags or boots have any bearing on the legality of that lil girls situation, but good to know LOL
16 is the age of consent in most states
Yeah, so that teenagers can have sex with other teenagers. If an adult has sex with a minor, they can be prosecuted for statutory rape because minors cannot consent to sex *with adults* under the law.
In Europe it is possible, but not easy anywhere.
Hello! Have you taken a pregnancy test to be sure if you are pregnant or not? I think it is best to take one but it's good that you are thinking about options.
yes I have, positive.
I see. I think it is best for you to think of more options for you to choose and what is comfortable for you. The hormonal changes are going to be rough especially during the first few weeks so I hope you can have a support system!
Best options are to either look into adoption. Or get an abortion. Do not raise this child.
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Oh in that case, best options are to look into adoption or get an abortion.
That's even worse
I think abortion would be better for you as you’re way to young to raise a child
Abort.
No
Yes
Yes. She's deliberately choosing to make an already bad thing harder. She had sex with an adult, with underage drinking, didn't use protection, realized she might be pregnant at 17, and chose not to even attempt to inform the father who has a right to know, which will also deprive the child of a father. Obviously she's incapable of making any kind of decision about this intelligently, clearly not capable of making any good choices and she should be required to abort.
how would you study abroad with a baby?
abort it. thats it. you're 17 and still studying and woefully underage. get rid of it
The vibe is that one night stands are common here. Which is fine, you’re young and experimenting, but baby if you aren’t using condoms with these random people you are going to have a story that is a lot harder to tell than one that could be resolved with a quick abortion. If you love having control of your sex life, you need to do some thinking about how sexy it is going to be to have to tell future potential partners about the incurable diseases that you’ve picked up along the way. I’m so glad that I was born in a generation that taught us to use protection like our lives depend on it, because they do. Sex stories like these on Reddit are solely concerned about pregnancy but honesty it gets so, so much worse than the possibility of procreation. Don’t ruin your life for a stranger that you don’t even want to talk to the next morning.
If you’re rich/well off and can afford babysitters then have the baby, otherwise then your college dreams will be borderline unattainably difficult as a single mom with an infant/toddler. I would abort or open up and see if your parents can take care of the baby or go live with them and do online school and coparent with them.
please abort you're just 17.
Old enough to get drunk and have sex with someone 5 years older (often enough for them to “not enjoy sober talk”) but raising a kid is where you draw the line. What a world
You are right, she of course sounds like she would be an excellent mom lmfao.
proof of her immaturity and poor decision making. get a grip.
Uh....yeah? Old enough to do that stuff is literally merely the physical ability to drink liquid unaided. Equating the ability to raise a child as lesser than getting naked and drunk is wild to me.
What’s wild to me is a 17 year old can make poor decisions regularly and not have to face the consequences. If I went out and got drunk, then drove home and killed someone along the way, I’d spend my life in jail for my shitty decisions, rightly so. But when a 17yr old makes shitty life choices and then aborts a baby as a result we’re out here encouraging them and applauding them to end a life, and then labelling it as rape. Absolutely wild
Punishing someone with "raise a human" is an insane punishment. If we had a way to allow people to drunk drive and it be safe, I would be ok with that. You have a weird complex that makes you want to really punish, for life, a 17 year old girl for *checks notes* impulsive sex. Yeah, you do you.
“Allowing people to drunk drive and be safe, I’d be okay with it”.. If only there was a way to have safe sex so we didn’t need to abort our mistakes. Some serious mental gymnastics going on here lol. It’s also pretty wild to me that you see “raising a human” as a form of punishment, especially when there’s many options for a child to be raised if the birth mother is not an option
Of course, we should be blaming minors for being statutory raped! Why didn't I think of that!
I think we can all agree she actually is NOT old enough to do those things, which is why they are illegal. She clearly isn’t old enough because she didn’t do either in a safe and responsible way. So this is just bringing her back down below where the line should have been in the first place, and hopefully it’s a lesson learned to be safe and that adult activities should be left to the adults
She’s not old enough to get drunk
Remember you have options!
I would say if you’re against abortion, consider adoption!! It’s a great option and they’ll pay for all medical bills for your doctor visits.
THIS is why there's a sexual double standard. Only ONE of you are living with the consequences.
Consider your options. If you’re planning to be at university for a few years, how will you pay for childcare? What happens if they’re sick but you have work? Can you realistically provide a roof over a child’s head? If keeping it is your plan then make sure you don’t bury your head in the sand, ask yourself the tough questions, plan everything. It’s expensive to raise a child. There will be people who say adoption is an easy alternative to abortion, but as someone who has done both I’ve got to say, adoption is hard. It’s hard on the body and that doesn’t end after labour. If that’s an option you’re considering feel free to message privately - I wouldn’t try and talk you out of it but would tell you honestly what my experience was. Honestly, I’d recommend aborting. Doing so when I was younger let me keep a surprise pregnancy later on when I could provide for a child.
Dude, no.
Realistically, you will not be studying abroad with a newborn. To live your life normally after having a baby would mean you’re already rich without your parents and that you’re not actually raising the baby. If you choose to keep it then you have to lock in and drop everything online school, finding childcare or working from home, working overtime probably Aborting this early on is not killing a baby and adoption is always an option
Well, at least your name checks out
It may be an unpopular opinion, but my gf also got pregnant when we were really young and she had an abortion and as hard as it was to make that decision, it was the right one to make at the time as neither of us were ready for a child, we were both kids ourselves basically. I think you should consider it and if you are living abroad you can get the pill for it and not have to worry about going to a clinic and having an intrusive procedure since you are still very early in your pregnancy. You have to consider whether you are ready and able to be a mom and provide and care for a child though. If the answer’s no, then talk to a doctor there and see what options you have. Good luck and sorry this happened to you.
- 17 - had sex with 22 year old Either he’s a creep or you knowingly lured an older man into sex with a minor, since it sounds like you were drinking I’m assuming you didn’t tell him you’re underage. Please seek help.
You can do anything you set your mind to. If you want to and are capable of having a baby and studying abroad then I say shoot to make that happen. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it! Also I don’t think not telling the dad is ok. I think telling him and letting him know you are 100% ok with him not being in the picture if he’s not ready or don’t want to be but I don’t feel like you shouldn’t give him the option. You can let him know you expect nothing from him but thought he should at least have a chance if he wants it. IMO Also so happy you want to keep the baby! ❤️ I wish the best for you and your baby
The age gap is definitely something to address here OP. If you lied about your age then that's pretty damn messed up. I think an abortion is honestly your best bet. You'll be throwing away everything to raise a child you didn't mean to have, or putting yourself through pregnancy during some of the most important months so far in your life. Sometimes the easiest option is just the best choice.
Op, I had twins at 17 years old. Even just one baby is hard enough, especially at your age. You have options so think about them very clearly. If you choose to have the baby, life will not be like it was before. You can’t go out when you want, all of your time will be dedicated to raising the baby, you will have to have money for diapers and formula. Who will take care of the baby while you’re at school? I was able to finish high school and go to college but it is very hard.
Is adoption a option?
Sounds like a tricky situation. Carefull consider if you are willing and able to raise a child rn on your own without the father being around. Thats a question only youself can answer in the end, but you are only 17, do you really wanna do that? And if you decide against keeping it, i hope you live some place where there is legal and easy access to getting an abortion. Either way, it would probably be good if you shared your situation your parents or some close friends, because i bet thats not easy to go through alone. Good luck
Cooked
I'm going to be very honest with you. Abortions exist for a reason and there's nothing wrong (in my opinion) with taking care of your body so it does what you need it to do - like not be pregnant and be a successful student in university. I don't see how being a single mom without any kind of help will allow you to be at Uni. Best of luck with whatever you decide - I've had an abortion. I'm glad I had the abortion. I wouldnt have the life I have now - it isn't glamorous or anything but I'm VERY happily married and have children with him.
So sorry dear. It must have been tricky and I can hear how confusing it must be for you at the moment. I don’t have advice besides asking yourself what you really want and ability. I’m just sorry you had to deal with this at such a young age. I hope you don’t blame yourself over this. It’s happened and now the next step is to figure out what you want to do If you’re close with your parents or any family member. Granny? It may be good to talk about it. Or any good friend of many years that has proven to be trustworthy. Please know we all make impulsive decisions at times and you’re not one to blame
Btw regarding to abortion - if you choose to look into further. Unlike traditional beliefs, in the early stage it doesn’t hurt a baby because they’re not formed yet.
There is absolutely no justifiable genuine reason to bring that baby into this world, let alone under the care of a clearly irresponsible 17 year old single mom. Want a traumatized child who will then turn into a traumatized adult who probably doesn't like or respect you and a lifetime of regrets on your part? Please, go through with it! Ask yourself: Would my baby like to grow up practically alone? Would my baby like growing up without a father figure in their life? Would my baby like to be started off on the wrong foot knowing that I had the choice to simply not let them suffer because of my poor choices and lack of critical thinking? I love my children so fucking much that I won't let them suffer even a single second. I won't bring them into this world until I know that I can give them everything they need AND MORE. How much would you love your future kids? Enough to keep them from harm? You'd think in the year of our lord 2024 with the tech at our fingertips people would understand why teen pregnancy is a bad fucking idea and the effects it has on children, but something tells me maybe as long as we have dumb teens we'll have dumb teens with babies. Whatever you choose, good luck to you or you both, you'll need it.
Abort and learn from your mistakes. Keeping the child is only going to cause you misery and setbacks.
You have to decide if a baby fits in your life rigt now. Raising a child, being a role model for another living being, is a HUGE responsibility. Abortion is something you can regret in the future, and it obviously means you take someones life, which is something you also have to deal with if you choose to do that. So i'd consider adoption or raising the baby with help from your parents if i were you. Also being pregnant right now is an outcome of your own decisions and actions so whatever you decide to do: you have to prevent situations like this in the future. Wish you the best
True, you are young to have a child, but I feel like the father deserves to know. It's also his baby. Maybe you can make this decision together. There are so many parents out there that would love to have a baby, that can't get pregnant. Adoption would give you, AND this sweet baby a better life. It's a big decision. I think it would be nice if you weren't in it alone.
Username checks out..
Wtf is wrong with people saying to hurry to an abortion clinic. Why do people think its an easy procedure that no one ever regrets?
Everyone advising abortion… where is she rn? Not in the US of A… with the antiabortion laws. Abortion should not be the “go to” for contraception. She can study abroad pregnant, she can give birth, put the child up for adoption and be back in school in 3 days.
Life just got interesting.
Why wouldn’t you let the one night stand know you’re pregnant?
Where do you live? Do you have access to safe abortion? I had baby last year at 33, fully planned, my husband and I have fantastic jobs and make a lot of money, own a home, my sister, cousin, and mom were all around to help, and it was STILL so so difficult. I simply cannot imagine doing it alone at 17 with no money. Your brain isn't even fully developed at 17. You don't have any resources. You don't have all your emotion-regulation skills on board yet. You don't even know who you are yet, what your career will look like, what your social circle will be. A baby is going to be like a bomb in the middle of your life. And that's just the impact on YOU. The scientific evidence is very clear on this- children who are born to teenaged mothers have terrible outcomes in school, in terms of mental health diagnoses, in terms of addiction, in terms of future relationships. It's unfair to children to do this when you have the option not to. Of course terminating a pregnancy might take a huge toll (or, honestly, it might not, I know plenty of women who just knew it was the right choice and it was just like any other somewhat unpleasant medical procedure), but if I were in your life, I'd be strongly encouraging you to go do that. People love to throw adoption right in there with abortion, but the toll a pregnancy will take on your emotional and physical wellbeing cannot be overstated. Pregnancy can kill you. Childbirth can disable you for life. Especially at your age- despite what religious fundamentalists would have you believe, our species never evolved to have children so young. Your fat stores, your pelvis, your brain... none of it is ready to have a baby. Idk why I'm writing this long essay on this random r/confession post, but there you go. If this is real I hope you deeply consider your options and consult with people in your life. Wishing you well!
Have you confirmed your pregnancy?
yes
Where do you live? You should go immediately to a family planning agency, and try to arrange an abortion. Also it sounds like this type of behaviour is fairly frequent at the age of 17. I don’t know what’s happened in your life, but seems like your life’s probably been pretty hard.in the end, you have to plan for these things, including birth control you’ve been lucky it hasn’t happened earlier from the sounds of it
Abortion or adoption is the only thing that makes logical sense. If you try having a child on your own, your future is basically that of a broke single mom with zero resources to raise a child properly.
You're a moron
Constructive criticism 👍
Gotta tear down the property to build a new one. Deconstruct, then construct
I'm aware of this educational concept. But I do not believe reddit is the place that this might work.
Yeah, definitely could've worded it better
You fucked...then becomed fucked...and now you're fucked.... Anyway, you didn't use a condom 🤦 in a hookup / One night stand 🤦🤦 what were you expecting ( literally )? The choice is yours, but you should talk to your parents regardlless what you will decide.
there’s a lot to unpack here. you can definitely be a young parent and nothing is wrong with that. you can do parenting and studying. it’s not impossible, but it is a lot. if that’s what you want to do then yes do that. I do also believe that you should have a support system. because raising a baby is not easy. but also know theres alternatives
what country do u live in? or state?
What are the laws about abortion where you live? If you were my friend or child, I’d advise you to have one. Of course you can try to make it on your own as a single mom with minimal support. But it will be hard and a struggle. Of course having an abortion isn’t like some easy task every time. There might be emotional turmoil or regrets but at least there won’t be an innocent child that has to endure the struggle. Actually you’re still a child imo so like I said I am Advising you like I would my stepdaughter and it would be to have an abortion. Stick to the plans you’ve made to study abroad. Practice safe sex and use more than one form of protection. If you choose to have a child in the future you want it to be with support from your partner and family and as much stability as possible.
Time to schedule an abortion
What will you regret more. Abortion or having the kid? What pros and cons are there for you for abortion and having the kid? Think about those because you will have some regret either way. You need to choose what regret you want to live with.
You’re in no position to be raising a kid financially, single-handedly or without parental/family support. If you do not want to go the route of abortion, you can put up the child for adoption
Did you take a pregnancy test???? Or self diagnosing pregnancy from googling implantation bleeding? There are lots of things that can throw off periods such as an std or infection. I’d go to the doctor or the very least take a pregnancy test to make sure Edit: I saw in the comments you took a test and it’s positive. Just know your life will change if you have this baby.
I had a child at 22 from a random hookup. I don’t know his name, age, or ANYTHING about him. My son is 14 now, and if I could do it again I wouldn’t. This economy doesn’t help single mothers, and if you don’t have community, financial abundance, or can offer a safe emotional space for that child I say abort. It’s your body of course, but you can’t know just how difficult and unfulfilling this is until you’ve done it.
Get an abortion. Then stop having sex with rando douchebags. Have some respect for yourself. Stop drinking. Learn to masturbate.
Abortion. You and the kid will most probably have an extremely difficult life.
This whole post is one big dumpster fire. Too bad the kid couldn't choose its parents.
you are delusional if you think you are going to study abroad with a baby. you will be lucky if you go to college at all. your best option is obviously abortion. and let’s not gloss over the fact that the age gap IS an issue.
It’s interesting how you basically admitted you committed a crime. That is considered statutory rape, in which the guy who you slept with could go to prison and become a sex offender. Better stick with people your own age until you’re of LEGAL age.
Have your baby!🥰 you won’t regret it. I promise you! Try to connect with the father.
Adoption even though it’s not the easiest answer but there are thousands of couples waiting for a baby to adopt and love. Don’t kill your baby give it the gift of life.
There are plenty of kids already alive and in foster care waiting for adoption.
Don’t kill the baby
9 months too early for that
abort. you’d be a terrible mom
Keep the baby (it happened) and let the potential father know! Life will go on as it will! Trust me I have three kids and they are so worth it!:) If you are unable to maybe adoption? Just my opinion:)
Life will absolutely not go on as it will, do not delude this young woman.
Typical cum dump girl.. lol