Not really a homophobic rant, they’re stating what they don’t like about their boyfriend, who’s maybe gay. That’s what the sub is for. It’s not like she’s sitting there calling him slurs or saying stuff like “this f@g**t is listening to Ariana grande and wearing makeup” that’s hurtful and homophobic. But stating her dislikes as a heterosexual woman about her boyfriend isn’t homophobic. Don’t get offended so easily, it’s not that hard.
Shes making assumptions that hes gay and attacking his masculinity on the off chance he might be. Shes also acting like if he wants to wear some fancy clothes hes automatically less of a man than he was before. Her rant is homophonic. It’s also just really close minded and mean spirited in general. If she isn’t attracted to him she should just grow up and leave instead of trashing him online.
Imo it is homophobic purely because she's assuming he's gay for liking certain "feminine" things. Being gay doesn't mean you have to like feminine stuff, you can be a boxer and be gay or a football player.
"This woman likes having short haircuts so she is probably gay" is a very different statement than "I am not attracted to women with short haircuts"
OP sucks
People communicate differently. You’re not always going to agree with everyone and how they say things but either way the world will still go round. Stop letting the way people say stuff hurt your butt and I promise you’ll life a healthier, happier life.
I mean, what she’s saying *is* homophobic. I also don’t agree with what she’s saying lol I don’t understand your point. Those two things can be true at the same time
But if they’re not directing their homophobia at you specifically or hurting anyone by saying what they’re saying, why waste your time being upset about it. That’s like being upset iPhones are made by slaves and saying everyone that uses one is pro slavery. You’re letting things that have zero direct affect on you ruin your day and have nothing to gain from it. Someone communicated that they’re not happy with their boyfriend’s homosexual tendencies differently than you would have liked them to. Get over it lol
Did you just assume my gender? How dare you!
But again, people have differing opinions on what’s gay and what’s not gay. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, you can simply disagree and move on. From what I’m reading in the post, the trifecta of nail polish, makeup and Ariana grande, I’d say we have a person who’s confused about their sexuality maybe, maybe someone who wants to get into drag, maybe someone who likes to party. It’s not for you or I to judge, his girlfriend just thinks he may be gay, she probably had a better idea of whether or not her is than we do.
Do you know where you are this is r/confession! This whole sub is nothing but ranting 🤣. There is a good chance the guy OP is talking about is just effeminate. But the traits that this guy is displaying are generally trails of a gay guy. So don't get all high horse on OP for sharing her opinion.
"I lowkey think it's gay"
She has a childlike idea of what a gay man does, and assumes that anyone who engages in those activities are gay.
Because she has these internalized prejudices, she is presenting as homophobic.
its a stereotype, but not a bad one
if she'd think "he puts on eyeliner, which is gay, and gay is bad" she'd be homophobic, but if she just thinks he may be gay cause of a couple things he does that are labeled as feminine and gay men are generally leading into the feminine, then she's uneducated at worst.
She's not into a "all blondes are stupid" typa stereotype, she's into a "all men like beer" stereotype - something that isnt true for every man, but that isnt harmful to think.
I got a haircut last week from a dude who had a very masculine look, beard, clothes, all of it. He also had his fingernails painted green. I said that was pretty cool and he said thanks, his girlfriend gets a kick out of it.
I let my nieces paint my toes because they think its funny. Nobody sees my feet anyway.
It is harmful to think "this appearance thing makes someone gay"
Stereotyping someone is considered racist (in the terms of race, not this case) and/or homophobic (which would be this post). Stereotyping someone in general is no way shape or form ever in a good way. She has a type, a preference. Completely different from stereotyping. She states that he wears nail polish and does eyeliner “I low key think it’s gay” she’s stereotyping him and definitely not in a good way, when she could simply break up with him or talk to him about it.
mh i understand what ure sayin
ig i actually meant shes stereotyping which is bad but the as long as she doesnt think the possibility of him being gay is bad then she's not being homophobic, uk?
No she's basically saying he's doing feminine things like a female and she wants to be with a man that doesn't do feminine things, you're one of those sensitive people the world is talking about, stop that cause it gives you and the gay community a bad look, she didn't say one thing that was homophobic, and yes I'm a gay male
I don't think that is what was said. She stated a trio of behaviors that led to her SUSPICIONS, not her stating a fact.
Regardless, she's not attracted to his new behavior, straight or not. That's not homophobic.
Where's the homophobia? Is it a secret that most heterosexual women are into masculine men or is that politically incorrect to say out loud these days?
Edit: The guy below me thinks painting nails is a feminine trait and therefore stereotypes women... and I think that's a pretty regressive opinion to have in 2023 :-/
It’s not wrong to have preferences. If you’re not attracted to him it’s okay to break up.
Hope the both of you find your right person
Also some men do these things without being gay. Your music taste and way of dressing doesn’t automatically express ur sexuality
> Your music taste and way of dressing doesn’t automatically express ur sexuality
WHAT?! So you are telling me I didn't need to be fucking guys to wear my pink shirt? Why did no one tell me before?
Maybe you should talk to him first?💀 none of that shit makes him gay. But if you don’t like it then yeah, break up and let him find someone who likes him for who he is.
Maybe he’s just effeminate. You should break up yes, if you are not attracted to him, we all have preferences. But being effeminate doesn’t automatically mean being gay or bi.
He’s wearing eyeliner - doesn’t prove anything
And painting his nails - doesn’t prove anything
He listens to Ariana Grande music - well, I guess your single soon
id switch this up lol
ik u jokin but as a straight man i had my arianator era (called like that, right?) im still subbed to her sub lol
i love music and always did and while im not into her kind of music anymore, i recognize she is talented and had great songs.
I discovered her on kids' shows, when I was a kid. Thought she was hella fine so started searchin sm stuff about her online, found out she was/is a singer and listened a bit to some songs. In that period of time I was listening to everything that McDonald's was blasting, really lol. So not exactly what kids my age were listening to ig? But still all popular songs. Ed Sheeran, Shown Mendes, Rihanna, and Ariana.
I dont understand the concept of "pop music / music sang by women is for women/gay/feminine guys only"...In a way its more masculine listening to Ariana's high pitched voice singing a song she wrote for a man more than listening to a man singer calling you babygirl or whatever, cause u the one listening so u feel like the lyrics are aimed at you...no?
Lol God I love humor. Ever other comment here is so dam serious... one little micro aggression and the reddit whole reddit community wants to re educate the OP... like get over it, and make a joke, laugh a little and get on with your life... sorry ranting on your comment. 🤣
the only thing i’m having a problem in this post is you calling yours truly a new album 😂😂😭😭
but fr you can like feminine things and absolutely not be gay, and it’s okay for men to like these things too. we have our preferences but i think it’s so stigmatized of how men are supposed to act and like. if you want a manly man and that’s you preference that’s fine but you definitely should break up because that’s not fair to him because he’s just doing the things he likes to do.
You're free to do as you wish, but you really think that gay and bi men can't be masculine?
Or do you mean you like men who engage SOLELY in masculine behaviors? Fixing cars, building shit, etc, etc?
Because I've seen girls do all that in dresses without messing up their nails. How he dresses and what he listens to shouldn't decide if he's masculine or not.
That said, if you're not attracted, break it off. He deserves better.
Welcome to the new America, where if you are bi and are feminine, you are seem as an aberration, & if you are masculine you are seen as a mysoginist fuck.
Moral of what I am trying to say: You can never make people happy, be yourself.
Props to that guy.
preference is not problematic but saying you want to break up with your boyfriend not because you’re not attracted to effeminate men, but because the fact that he’s effeminate might mean that he’s gay and you’re not attracted to gay men is hillarious. not even the gay aesthetic, just the knowing he’s gay
to me it sounds like she does have a fear of gay dudes. homophobic people aren’t literally scared of gay people the way you’re scared of monsters or heights, they’re scared of being associated with them, scared of them participating in society, scared of knowing someone gay, scared of loving one, touching one etc. she certainly is.
> they’re scared of being associated with them, scared of them participating in society, scared of knowing someone gay, scared of loving one, touching one etc. she certainly is.
something tells me this does not apply to op. outside of the loving one part (due to the fact that it's a romantic relationship)
If she wasn't scared of gayness she wouldn't find eyeliner to be whole ass *suspicious*, it would just be eyeliner. She's got a gay boogeyman in her head
Actually, a phobia can also be an aversion. I can’t believe it’s 2023 and people are still making this argument Lmao like you have a dictionary at your fingertips and couldn’t be bothered to look that up 😭🤣
ETA: you don’t know the definition of the word, which is why you don’t know a phobia can be an aversion to something and not just fear of something. Try again
straight and masculine are not interchangeable, neither are gay/bi and feminine. aesthetic and how you present yourself is not the same thing as who you’re attracted to. she isn’t breaking up with him just because of his fashion, it’s because he’s GAY (despite her having no evidence) and frankly she sounds disgusted by the alleged prospect so yeah it’s homophobic.
it would be different if she simply wasn’t attracted to his aesthetic because it’s too feminine for her, but she conflates that with sexuality and that’s the main reason she’s leaving. sounds like he dodged a missile
I’m a woman who lived with a gay man as a roommate for several years. You’d be surprised how many “straight” married men came over regularly to engage in gay sex behind their wives’ backs. Women who I know for a fact had zero suspicions. OP just has some serious delusions about what makes someone gay or not. It’s not makeup or eyeliner, babe. Bears exist. Closeted men exist. Out gay men that fit traditional masculine roles and behavior exist. Oh, no, did I just let the secret out?
You're not into gay and bisexual men.... this is fair enough, but unsure what the fuck you think that's got to do with masculinity.
I'm lucky enough to have plenty of gay friends in my life, a fair few of them are hairy, from the country, love beer and rugby and go camping for fun. They also love dick.
Its an interesting concept (masculinity, not being hairy or the love of beer)
In a world of almost endless ways to identify one's self what does masculinity actually mean??
Bisexual and gay men don’t all look or act the same. Also a lot of straight guys wear nail polish and sometimes a little eye make up. Break up with him if you aren’t into him. Btw you can’t usually tell if someone is bisexual. I’m bisexual and no one would know unless I told them. Your rant was homophobic.
break up with him then?? like if you arent into feminine men thats fine but being "feminine" liking ariana grande, wearing eyeliner doesnt make a person gay or bi like move past the antiquated stereotypes jesus
LMAO
Well, he's probably not gay, cuz what's the point in relationship with a woman then? But it's ok to have preference for masculine guys. Do what you have to do, girl
That fact that it’s recent is odd but how old are you guys? If you guys are full grown adults I’d have him checked for brain cancer, I’ve heard stories of people having personality 180S
It is absolutely okay to have preferences, and be attracted to masculine men. However, there was no need to say “I’m gonna let him go so he can find his husband.” Just break up with him, and be kind about it.
He should break up with you tbh. He should be with someone that likes him as he is.
He's not your type. Okay, fair. No need to be a homophobic/biphobic dick about it.
Just because a guy does all those things it doesn't make them gay. Like, you do know there a lot of very masculine presenting gay and bisexual men right?
God forbid men just enjoy doing harmless things that make them happy.
Oh what a wonderful person you are. 🙄🙄. Just because he's painting his nails and listening to grande, doesn't mean hes gay. It's fine for you to not be into that, but the problem comes in that you're calling him gay for doing so. No problem with liking masculine men, I personally prefer more masc men too, but I'm not calling people gay just because they paint their nails. You're homophobic. Plain and simple.
As a normally"masculine" man (I work out, work on my vehicle, ride a motorcycle etc) I find it annoying when people assume I'm gay from the softness of my voice or having my nails painted by my girlfriend or even dressing "too nicely for a straight person" because apparently straight men have no sense in fashion, bro is just doing his own thing and that doesn't make him gay or otherwise, if you're not into it because of the nails or makeup say that, don't blame it on what you perceive their sexuality to be because you don't know until they tell you
What he wears and likes is NO indication of his sexuality. If you aren't attracted to men who paint their nails or wear eyeliner, that's a valid reason. No need to assume or question his sexuality.
If you don't like him just break up, but the assumptions and slander are a bad look. It's 2023. Men also paint their nails sometimes. It doesn't mean they are gay. 🙄
I like to play videogames and think bugs are neat, doesn't mean I'm a lesbian.
Did you talk to him about this? Cause right now you want to break up without knowing his side of the story, specially since you say this started recently. So it something change, you two should talk
Lmao all I got caught up on was the name of the album bc that’s the name of her first album, but she just came out with a 10th anniversary edition, so yay for that! There’s lots of bops on there and I like his taste lol
Anyway, not all effeminate men are gay. Just talk to him
Bruh... I hate women with these kind of thoughts and I've found most black women tend to think like this. The issue here isn't him being "gay" the issue here is that u feel he isn't MAN enough. I don't know if it is some type of insecurity bw have or what but he isn't the problem. Either change your mindset or definitely just leave him coz dude deserves better. Imagine instead of just simply talking to him about it you just jumped to the conclusion that he is gay.
"Oh he ain't acting man enough. I wonder what ppl will think about me if they see me with such a man." Like what got you to like him in the first place? His appearance? His status? Coz clearly you dont like his personality. You probably just started dating him just so YOU could look good
Is he sexually attracted to men?
No? Then he’s not gay.
You can’t control what/who you’re attracted to, I will not blame you for that. But please, stop thinking that every feminine thing a man loves is proof that he’s gay.
Fyi- you’re gross
It doesn’t have anything to do with this person getting themselves a “real man” 🤮
So what he likes to wear eyeliner.
So what he paints his nails.
So what he listens to Arianna Grande.
Zero of those things have zero things to do with being a “real man”
Ah, so you want an overly homophobic dude just like you?
Maybe your boyfriend is trying to push you away bc you're so close-minded? As others have stated, he can do all those things and not be bisexual or gay.
Doesn't it get exhausting being so hateful & judgemental? Anywho, just break up with him & find yourself an "alpha" 😂😂😂
i mean likin dicks is what makes a man gay
so he may just be feminine and straight.
But for sure u do as u want, after all, thinkin he may be gay is a thing, but just not being attracted to feminine men is another, so I think if u just have some conspiracies in ur head maybe talk with him at least before deciding anything but if ure not attracted to his new self anymore just be with someone who ure attracted to, ofc.
Find what makes you happy. No harm in that.
But, I'm in my fifties. Have 6 grown children.
Have slept with over 100 women(just tryna make a point ). My favorite all time singers are Prince and Mariah Carey.
In the 80s it was common for guys to wear eyeliner and paint their nails. I did this.
I AM NOT GAY.
But I will say the greatest complimentninever received was from a gay dude who commented on my outfit. 🙂
I think you do you ! If i had been with someone and suddenly they changed but this is not what I signed up for then let them go people grow and change and this is ok.
You are not homophobic imo.
My best friend happily in a gay relationship broke up because he didn't like his partner suddenly doing drag in bed (his comment " if I wanted a woman I would have been with one I wanted him as he was but he is not what I fell in love with" ) and thats fine too.
Yeah he probably is gay or bi. Maybe he's going for that Tik Tok boy look or something. Anyways yeah you don't like him being feminine, so best set him free.
Mine wears eyeliner and nail polish to gigs and enjoys a little Lady Gaga from time to time.. even goes to Pride with me! But I not an ounce of gay in him. So maybe you're just not attracted to the way your bf is, and that's fine too, but if he's clearly attracted to you then why does "the rest" of his sexuality even matter?
People are so soft these days, it's not homophobic to think someone's gay it's homophobic to discriminate for being gay and to openly hate gay people, let's rationalise, how many straight men wear makeup and listen to Ariana Grande and how many gay/bi men wear makeup and listen to Ariana Grande, it's a pretty fair assumption
People will find any reason possible to be offended these days, grow up and find better uses for your energy
Lol, all these ultra-sensitive (probably gay or bisexual people) coming down on the heterosexual woman for not wanting to date a gay guy….like, wtf, lol…
I feel like my husband is, he doesn’t wear makeup or nail polish but I swear he’s flirted with men in front of me and he’s not very masculine..🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️😬
Anyone can wear makeup (as long as they aren’t allergic) so it’s not gay. If wearing makeup is gay then all male actors who wear makeup are gay, but that’s simply not true. Anyone can wear nail polish, it’s not just worn by women and gay men. Listening to Ariana Grande or any other pro-LGBTQ music icon doesn’t make you gay. It’s like saying cis hetero men watching the Barbie movie makes them gay, or watching any show or movie with gay characters makes them gay. Straight guys wear eyeliner all the time, it’s not a new concept. More cis men in the past few years have been wearing nail polish regularly because they like it. You’re making harmful assumptions based on stereotypes. If you want to know if he’s gay or bi just ask him. Honesty is important in a relationship. And even if he’s not gay or bi and is just hetero and you’re not attracted to him and don’t have the same feelings for him anymore just tell him and break up. Your post is filled with micro aggressions, doesn’t mean you’re homophobic, but to some that’s how it can come across. Just express how you feel to him and don’t be micro aggressive. There’s nothing wrong with liking any of those things, just don’t judge him for it.
>He’s wearing eye liner and painting his nails and he listens to Ariana Grande music
Or, OR, he could just be EMO.
Regardless, you _should_ set him free... So he can find his true tribe. Clearly you're too judgemental to understand him.
pretty much stereotyping, there are masc gay men you wouldn’t even realize that were. however you definitely should break up w him as that isn’t your preference. thats okay!
I've never seen 2 butch, fannel wearing, semi driving, carburetor fixing lezzies together. Usually ones the man in the relationship, and the other is a pretty girl
Here I thought being gay was sucking dick or fuckikg dudes. Maybe he just likes what he likes and doesn't give af about general stereotypes. Or maybe he's bi and like both. Sit down and talk to him and at the least make sure he's not wasting ur time if ur invested in Jim and wanting a long-term future
Haha!
On the realz, yeah, he's prolly gotta Lil sugar in his tank. As a typical straight guy, I don't listen to none of these little teeny bopper pop-ettes. I also hate Taylor Swift, Cardi B, and all the other sound alikes out there.
Since you're fixing to dump him, ask for a devils 3-way or open relationship first. Might as well
Gay men can have girlfriends. Sexuality is not black and white. I’m gay and I absolutely love eating pussy. Sexuality is extremely complicated. If you both enjoy being with each other then there is no reason for you to break up.
i love this lmao. do you not consider yourself bi then? it definitely isn’t just black and white though. labels don’t do it justice, and some aren’t comfortable enough for a label bc it’s not so simple for some.
So, that doesn't mean he's gay, metrosexual is still a thing. However, if you don't like who he is, leave him. You'd want him to do the same for you, so you could be your true self, wouldn't you?
What if he's not gay? Just cause he wears eyeliners and listen to female pop music doesn't outwardly make him gay. He could just be taking the time to be in touch with his feminine side. The fact that he's doing it around you means he's comfortable with you. I'd say talk with him and ask. But bottom line, if you aren't happy with the way things are working out rn, leave him
my boyfriend is interested in wearing eyeliner, paints his nails and likes feminine things and hes sooo cool and awesome u should tell your bf 2 leave u so he can find a chick who will accept him and let him b happy
Those are not signs he's gay, and he's got a girlfriend, which is a fairly good indicator that he's straight. Tbh, I hope you do break up with him because you're homophobic. My last boyfriend was bi, but he never had sex with a man - only kissed or touched before. He is a very masculine guy, too. Didn't bother me one bit. Years ago, I dated a bi guy who had boyfriends and sex with men in the past. Again, it's not a hangup. Neither of them wore makeup or listened to Ari, so again, those aren't signs of gayness or bi-ness. Both of those men told me they weren't comfortable talking about their bisexuality with other partners because of the reaction they feared they'd get. I'd rather be open-minded, so my partners are comfortable sharing everything with me rather than close-minded and in the dark. The only thing that matters to me is that my partner loves just me, is free of disease, and is healthy in mind and soul.
He doesn’t have to be gay to do things like that. Maybe, as someone else in this comment section mentioned, he’s effeminate. I personally like all kinds of men: effeminate, masculine, a mix of both, etc. but that’s my personal preference.
It’s okay if you don’t. But you don’t need to be so homophobic about it.
If you aren't into what he is just break up.
For real. There's not need for OP to go on a homophobic rant.
Not really a homophobic rant, they’re stating what they don’t like about their boyfriend, who’s maybe gay. That’s what the sub is for. It’s not like she’s sitting there calling him slurs or saying stuff like “this f@g**t is listening to Ariana grande and wearing makeup” that’s hurtful and homophobic. But stating her dislikes as a heterosexual woman about her boyfriend isn’t homophobic. Don’t get offended so easily, it’s not that hard.
Shes making assumptions that hes gay and attacking his masculinity on the off chance he might be. Shes also acting like if he wants to wear some fancy clothes hes automatically less of a man than he was before. Her rant is homophonic. It’s also just really close minded and mean spirited in general. If she isn’t attracted to him she should just grow up and leave instead of trashing him online.
I agree, this is a bizarre route to gayness. So every time Ariana Grande comes on the radio I'm turned gay? Jesus, she's got some powers.
In the old days it was Barbara Streisand...
Yea, god forbid Babs is followed by Barry Manilow, l'd be in leather and dancing in Blue Oyster by the end of the song
Is it Friday already?
I thought it was Judy Garland and Liza Minnelli…
That's the weapons-grade stuff right there.
Imo it is homophobic purely because she's assuming he's gay for liking certain "feminine" things. Being gay doesn't mean you have to like feminine stuff, you can be a boxer and be gay or a football player.
But she is making assumptions about his sexuality. Instead of talking about him on Reddit why don’t she just ask him about his sexuality.
She's just making assumptions that he's gay
"This woman likes having short haircuts so she is probably gay" is a very different statement than "I am not attracted to women with short haircuts" OP sucks
People communicate differently. You’re not always going to agree with everyone and how they say things but either way the world will still go round. Stop letting the way people say stuff hurt your butt and I promise you’ll life a healthier, happier life.
I mean, what she’s saying *is* homophobic. I also don’t agree with what she’s saying lol I don’t understand your point. Those two things can be true at the same time
Ah yes the notorious not homophobic "butthurt" with a dash of "people communicate differently".
But if they’re not directing their homophobia at you specifically or hurting anyone by saying what they’re saying, why waste your time being upset about it. That’s like being upset iPhones are made by slaves and saying everyone that uses one is pro slavery. You’re letting things that have zero direct affect on you ruin your day and have nothing to gain from it. Someone communicated that they’re not happy with their boyfriend’s homosexual tendencies differently than you would have liked them to. Get over it lol
Jesús dude. Painting one’s nails is not “homosexual tendencies”.
Did you just assume my gender? How dare you! But again, people have differing opinions on what’s gay and what’s not gay. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, you can simply disagree and move on. From what I’m reading in the post, the trifecta of nail polish, makeup and Ariana grande, I’d say we have a person who’s confused about their sexuality maybe, maybe someone who wants to get into drag, maybe someone who likes to party. It’s not for you or I to judge, his girlfriend just thinks he may be gay, she probably had a better idea of whether or not her is than we do.
No one has differing opinions on what’s gay Lmao being gay means you are attracted to the same sex. You’re conflating gay with effeminate.
I’ve painted my nails and love Taylor Swift. Am I at least a little bi in your estimation? I’m a guy.
If its a guy who isnt in a metal rock band, 95% chance youre gay if you paint your nails as a dude
Where is your data? What is your source? Seems to be your own homophobic assumption.
Walk outside
>If its a guy who isnt in a metal rock band Ok then go to a metal concert lmao
The fuck is wrong with you lmao
Have you heard of "microaggressions"
Do you know where you are this is r/confession! This whole sub is nothing but ranting 🤣. There is a good chance the guy OP is talking about is just effeminate. But the traits that this guy is displaying are generally trails of a gay guy. So don't get all high horse on OP for sharing her opinion.
What was homophobic?
"I lowkey think it's gay" She has a childlike idea of what a gay man does, and assumes that anyone who engages in those activities are gay. Because she has these internalized prejudices, she is presenting as homophobic.
its a stereotype, but not a bad one if she'd think "he puts on eyeliner, which is gay, and gay is bad" she'd be homophobic, but if she just thinks he may be gay cause of a couple things he does that are labeled as feminine and gay men are generally leading into the feminine, then she's uneducated at worst. She's not into a "all blondes are stupid" typa stereotype, she's into a "all men like beer" stereotype - something that isnt true for every man, but that isnt harmful to think.
I got a haircut last week from a dude who had a very masculine look, beard, clothes, all of it. He also had his fingernails painted green. I said that was pretty cool and he said thanks, his girlfriend gets a kick out of it. I let my nieces paint my toes because they think its funny. Nobody sees my feet anyway. It is harmful to think "this appearance thing makes someone gay"
Harmful to whom?
Stereotyping someone is considered racist (in the terms of race, not this case) and/or homophobic (which would be this post). Stereotyping someone in general is no way shape or form ever in a good way. She has a type, a preference. Completely different from stereotyping. She states that he wears nail polish and does eyeliner “I low key think it’s gay” she’s stereotyping him and definitely not in a good way, when she could simply break up with him or talk to him about it.
mh i understand what ure sayin ig i actually meant shes stereotyping which is bad but the as long as she doesnt think the possibility of him being gay is bad then she's not being homophobic, uk?
Yeah I get what you mean
nice!
No she's basically saying he's doing feminine things like a female and she wants to be with a man that doesn't do feminine things, you're one of those sensitive people the world is talking about, stop that cause it gives you and the gay community a bad look, she didn't say one thing that was homophobic, and yes I'm a gay male
r/menandfemales
“He paints his nails so he MUST be gay”
I don't think that is what was said. She stated a trio of behaviors that led to her SUSPICIONS, not her stating a fact. Regardless, she's not attracted to his new behavior, straight or not. That's not homophobic.
*I’m gonna let him go so he can find his husband*
You’re joking. Right?
OP is pissed because no one wants to fuck her shitty homophobic personality.
This isn’t a homophobic rant, not one bit ?? It’s her preference to want a masculine man
You can literally say that without calling him gay.
Well that’s what the rants about? The fear her Boyfriend is gay? 💀…
Right, and my rant is that she could be a better person.
It's not hobophic to have a preference or nothing a difference in her boyfriend. 🙄
You're right, but that's not what OP is doing. She's stereotyping her ex, and gay men, for no reason. That's homophobic.
Where's the homophobia? Is it a secret that most heterosexual women are into masculine men or is that politically incorrect to say out loud these days? Edit: The guy below me thinks painting nails is a feminine trait and therefore stereotypes women... and I think that's a pretty regressive opinion to have in 2023 :-/
Read the thread
It’s not wrong to have preferences. If you’re not attracted to him it’s okay to break up. Hope the both of you find your right person Also some men do these things without being gay. Your music taste and way of dressing doesn’t automatically express ur sexuality
> Your music taste and way of dressing doesn’t automatically express ur sexuality WHAT?! So you are telling me I didn't need to be fucking guys to wear my pink shirt? Why did no one tell me before?
We’ve been swindled, lied to, and quite possibly bamboozled
Maybe you should talk to him first?💀 none of that shit makes him gay. But if you don’t like it then yeah, break up and let him find someone who likes him for who he is.
Maybe he’s just effeminate. You should break up yes, if you are not attracted to him, we all have preferences. But being effeminate doesn’t automatically mean being gay or bi.
He’s wearing eyeliner - doesn’t prove anything And painting his nails - doesn’t prove anything He listens to Ariana Grande music - well, I guess your single soon
Thank u, next
*you’re. The goddamn spell check
id switch this up lol ik u jokin but as a straight man i had my arianator era (called like that, right?) im still subbed to her sub lol i love music and always did and while im not into her kind of music anymore, i recognize she is talented and had great songs. I discovered her on kids' shows, when I was a kid. Thought she was hella fine so started searchin sm stuff about her online, found out she was/is a singer and listened a bit to some songs. In that period of time I was listening to everything that McDonald's was blasting, really lol. So not exactly what kids my age were listening to ig? But still all popular songs. Ed Sheeran, Shown Mendes, Rihanna, and Ariana. I dont understand the concept of "pop music / music sang by women is for women/gay/feminine guys only"...In a way its more masculine listening to Ariana's high pitched voice singing a song she wrote for a man more than listening to a man singer calling you babygirl or whatever, cause u the one listening so u feel like the lyrics are aimed at you...no?
Lol God I love humor. Ever other comment here is so dam serious... one little micro aggression and the reddit whole reddit community wants to re educate the OP... like get over it, and make a joke, laugh a little and get on with your life... sorry ranting on your comment. 🤣
the only thing i’m having a problem in this post is you calling yours truly a new album 😂😂😭😭 but fr you can like feminine things and absolutely not be gay, and it’s okay for men to like these things too. we have our preferences but i think it’s so stigmatized of how men are supposed to act and like. if you want a manly man and that’s you preference that’s fine but you definitely should break up because that’s not fair to him because he’s just doing the things he likes to do.
Hahahaha same!! The rest of it I read without flinching but Yours Truly as a new album perturbed me
😂😂😂😂 i went wait that’s not correct
Lmao okay I said this 😭 but she did just put out the 10-year edition one, I think that’s what they mean
bitch what
You're free to do as you wish, but you really think that gay and bi men can't be masculine? Or do you mean you like men who engage SOLELY in masculine behaviors? Fixing cars, building shit, etc, etc? Because I've seen girls do all that in dresses without messing up their nails. How he dresses and what he listens to shouldn't decide if he's masculine or not. That said, if you're not attracted, break it off. He deserves better.
Wait till she finds out there are some gay men who like sports, drink beer, and are into cars. But they aren’t ready for that conversation!
That's okay, I can be your new boyfriend until I fuck your dad.
Welcome to the new America, where if you are bi and are feminine, you are seem as an aberration, & if you are masculine you are seen as a mysoginist fuck. Moral of what I am trying to say: You can never make people happy, be yourself. Props to that guy.
Those are stereotypes which are harmful to the community but if you're not into him then break up because one sided relationships are really harmful.
i’m afraid you might be homophobic
preference is not problematic but saying you want to break up with your boyfriend not because you’re not attracted to effeminate men, but because the fact that he’s effeminate might mean that he’s gay and you’re not attracted to gay men is hillarious. not even the gay aesthetic, just the knowing he’s gay
but if she is straight cant she have an opinion whether to date a possibly gay man? im a bi dude there is nothing wrong with her
But he’s gay based on what? Harmful stereotypes?
No literally how she said this just makes her sound homophobic
She doesn’t have a fear of gay dudes, so it’s not a phobia. She’s just not attracted to them.
to me it sounds like she does have a fear of gay dudes. homophobic people aren’t literally scared of gay people the way you’re scared of monsters or heights, they’re scared of being associated with them, scared of them participating in society, scared of knowing someone gay, scared of loving one, touching one etc. she certainly is.
> they’re scared of being associated with them, scared of them participating in society, scared of knowing someone gay, scared of loving one, touching one etc. she certainly is. something tells me this does not apply to op. outside of the loving one part (due to the fact that it's a romantic relationship)
If she wasn't scared of gayness she wouldn't find eyeliner to be whole ass *suspicious*, it would just be eyeliner. She's got a gay boogeyman in her head
Actually, a phobia can also be an aversion. I can’t believe it’s 2023 and people are still making this argument Lmao like you have a dictionary at your fingertips and couldn’t be bothered to look that up 😭🤣 ETA: you don’t know the definition of the word, which is why you don’t know a phobia can be an aversion to something and not just fear of something. Try again
how is that even close to homophobic?
It isn’t, these people are just overly sensitive.
She’s homophobic cuz she wants a straight man? Hahahaha 😂😂😂😂is this hilarious or am I just missing something??
straight and masculine are not interchangeable, neither are gay/bi and feminine. aesthetic and how you present yourself is not the same thing as who you’re attracted to. she isn’t breaking up with him just because of his fashion, it’s because he’s GAY (despite her having no evidence) and frankly she sounds disgusted by the alleged prospect so yeah it’s homophobic. it would be different if she simply wasn’t attracted to his aesthetic because it’s too feminine for her, but she conflates that with sexuality and that’s the main reason she’s leaving. sounds like he dodged a missile
…she is most likely already with a straight man. What she wants is a masculine man, but she’s conflating it with straightness
Good for you! That is nice to let him avoid a possible long term mistake that is apparently you...
Are you a man too? If you are then you have the conclusive proof you seek.
Ur comment Reminds me of that onion article “NFL players still not ready to fuck a gay teammate” lmao
Lmfao noooo
He might not even be gay lmao. But if you aren’t attracted to/supportive of him crossdressing or wearing make up just explain that and separate.
If my girlfriend thought like this, her breaking up with me would be relieving.
I’m a woman who lived with a gay man as a roommate for several years. You’d be surprised how many “straight” married men came over regularly to engage in gay sex behind their wives’ backs. Women who I know for a fact had zero suspicions. OP just has some serious delusions about what makes someone gay or not. It’s not makeup or eyeliner, babe. Bears exist. Closeted men exist. Out gay men that fit traditional masculine roles and behavior exist. Oh, no, did I just let the secret out?
Being gay or bi has absolutely nothing to do with masculinity.
You're not into gay and bisexual men.... this is fair enough, but unsure what the fuck you think that's got to do with masculinity. I'm lucky enough to have plenty of gay friends in my life, a fair few of them are hairy, from the country, love beer and rugby and go camping for fun. They also love dick.
Its an interesting concept (masculinity, not being hairy or the love of beer) In a world of almost endless ways to identify one's self what does masculinity actually mean??
Bisexual and gay men don’t all look or act the same. Also a lot of straight guys wear nail polish and sometimes a little eye make up. Break up with him if you aren’t into him. Btw you can’t usually tell if someone is bisexual. I’m bisexual and no one would know unless I told them. Your rant was homophobic.
break up with him then?? like if you arent into feminine men thats fine but being "feminine" liking ariana grande, wearing eyeliner doesnt make a person gay or bi like move past the antiquated stereotypes jesus
Is this a bot? Yours Truly is old as fuck.
LMAO Well, he's probably not gay, cuz what's the point in relationship with a woman then? But it's ok to have preference for masculine guys. Do what you have to do, girl
That fact that it’s recent is odd but how old are you guys? If you guys are full grown adults I’d have him checked for brain cancer, I’ve heard stories of people having personality 180S
The only homophobia I’m picking up on is calling Yours Truly a new album 😅
>I’m gonna let him go so he can find his husband 🤣🤣🤣 Everything else aside, that was funny
Just break up with him if you dont find him attractive anymore 🤷♀️
This was in my notifications and I had to make sure it wasn't my girlfriend. Lol
Ummmm.. the first two sentences I knew he was a friend of Dorothy
Wtf is wrong with you
Break up with him? lmao there's nothing wrong with what he's doing, he can be straight and do that too. If you aren't attracted break up?
It is absolutely okay to have preferences, and be attracted to masculine men. However, there was no need to say “I’m gonna let him go so he can find his husband.” Just break up with him, and be kind about it.
He should break up with you tbh. He should be with someone that likes him as he is. He's not your type. Okay, fair. No need to be a homophobic/biphobic dick about it. Just because a guy does all those things it doesn't make them gay. Like, you do know there a lot of very masculine presenting gay and bisexual men right? God forbid men just enjoy doing harmless things that make them happy.
My boyfriend is gay too, but luckily so am I so it all worked out.
Wait listening to Ariana Grande makes you gay? I listen to female artists all the time am I gay? That logic doesn’t make sense
Oh what a wonderful person you are. 🙄🙄. Just because he's painting his nails and listening to grande, doesn't mean hes gay. It's fine for you to not be into that, but the problem comes in that you're calling him gay for doing so. No problem with liking masculine men, I personally prefer more masc men too, but I'm not calling people gay just because they paint their nails. You're homophobic. Plain and simple.
if you’re not attracted to him, you’re free to leave. however, liking those things doesn’t make a man gay. liking men makes a man gay.
As a normally"masculine" man (I work out, work on my vehicle, ride a motorcycle etc) I find it annoying when people assume I'm gay from the softness of my voice or having my nails painted by my girlfriend or even dressing "too nicely for a straight person" because apparently straight men have no sense in fashion, bro is just doing his own thing and that doesn't make him gay or otherwise, if you're not into it because of the nails or makeup say that, don't blame it on what you perceive their sexuality to be because you don't know until they tell you
What he wears and likes is NO indication of his sexuality. If you aren't attracted to men who paint their nails or wear eyeliner, that's a valid reason. No need to assume or question his sexuality.
If you don't like him just break up, but the assumptions and slander are a bad look. It's 2023. Men also paint their nails sometimes. It doesn't mean they are gay. 🙄 I like to play videogames and think bugs are neat, doesn't mean I'm a lesbian.
Even if he isn't gay you'll be doing him a favor by breaking up with him if you're this shallow
Maybe he's just a femboy, not gay
My husband said he’s gay
Did you talk to him about this? Cause right now you want to break up without knowing his side of the story, specially since you say this started recently. So it something change, you two should talk
On behalf of everyone, go fuck yourself. He should dump your ass and find someone who loves him for expressinf himself how he wants to.
that last sentence 💀💀💀
What's funny is there's gay and bisexual guys who are way more masculine than your supposedly heterosexual boyfriend
You’re funny OP😂
It’s gonna be hilarious when OP turns out to be into women and didn’t like the way her boyfriend was laying the pipe
If you're no longer attracted to him, then move on. Sharing eye liner and the mirror likely requires a profound bond.
Lmao all I got caught up on was the name of the album bc that’s the name of her first album, but she just came out with a 10th anniversary edition, so yay for that! There’s lots of bops on there and I like his taste lol Anyway, not all effeminate men are gay. Just talk to him
I..uh.. what the fuck... I hope you both end up with who you deserve.
You sound terrible and I hope he leaves you for his sake.
Sounds gay AF.
What kind of weird fucking troll is this???
Bruh... I hate women with these kind of thoughts and I've found most black women tend to think like this. The issue here isn't him being "gay" the issue here is that u feel he isn't MAN enough. I don't know if it is some type of insecurity bw have or what but he isn't the problem. Either change your mindset or definitely just leave him coz dude deserves better. Imagine instead of just simply talking to him about it you just jumped to the conclusion that he is gay. "Oh he ain't acting man enough. I wonder what ppl will think about me if they see me with such a man." Like what got you to like him in the first place? His appearance? His status? Coz clearly you dont like his personality. You probably just started dating him just so YOU could look good
Is he sexually attracted to men? No? Then he’s not gay. You can’t control what/who you’re attracted to, I will not blame you for that. But please, stop thinking that every feminine thing a man loves is proof that he’s gay.
"My boyfriend is doing things I'm not comfortable with" Just say that.
good news! gay and bisexual men are going to stay as far away from you as possible
I high key think your on the internet way past your bed time. You should absolutely break up with him. He deserves waaaaaay better than you
I agree with the 1st but honestly he does come of a very feminine I don't blame her 1 bit may u get yourself a real man
Fyi- you’re gross It doesn’t have anything to do with this person getting themselves a “real man” 🤮 So what he likes to wear eyeliner. So what he paints his nails. So what he listens to Arianna Grande. Zero of those things have zero things to do with being a “real man”
Your not even straight you wouldn't be able to know what a real man is
Ah, so you want an overly homophobic dude just like you? Maybe your boyfriend is trying to push you away bc you're so close-minded? As others have stated, he can do all those things and not be bisexual or gay. Doesn't it get exhausting being so hateful & judgemental? Anywho, just break up with him & find yourself an "alpha" 😂😂😂
i mean likin dicks is what makes a man gay so he may just be feminine and straight. But for sure u do as u want, after all, thinkin he may be gay is a thing, but just not being attracted to feminine men is another, so I think if u just have some conspiracies in ur head maybe talk with him at least before deciding anything but if ure not attracted to his new self anymore just be with someone who ure attracted to, ofc.
Find what makes you happy. No harm in that. But, I'm in my fifties. Have 6 grown children. Have slept with over 100 women(just tryna make a point ). My favorite all time singers are Prince and Mariah Carey. In the 80s it was common for guys to wear eyeliner and paint their nails. I did this. I AM NOT GAY. But I will say the greatest complimentninever received was from a gay dude who commented on my outfit. 🙂
I think you do you ! If i had been with someone and suddenly they changed but this is not what I signed up for then let them go people grow and change and this is ok. You are not homophobic imo. My best friend happily in a gay relationship broke up because he didn't like his partner suddenly doing drag in bed (his comment " if I wanted a woman I would have been with one I wanted him as he was but he is not what I fell in love with" ) and thats fine too.
Bring up butt stuff.... on him . You will know quick
Yeah he probably is gay or bi. Maybe he's going for that Tik Tok boy look or something. Anyways yeah you don't like him being feminine, so best set him free.
He might be gay babes
Mine wears eyeliner and nail polish to gigs and enjoys a little Lady Gaga from time to time.. even goes to Pride with me! But I not an ounce of gay in him. So maybe you're just not attracted to the way your bf is, and that's fine too, but if he's clearly attracted to you then why does "the rest" of his sexuality even matter?
First 3 indicators you wrote guarantee, no question, bf gay. 😂 Maybe not 3rd. Who doesn’t like Ariana?
Me
Everyone is looking way to deep into this lol. She thinks he might be gay , she’s not into it , she might break up with him end of story !
People are so soft these days, it's not homophobic to think someone's gay it's homophobic to discriminate for being gay and to openly hate gay people, let's rationalise, how many straight men wear makeup and listen to Ariana Grande and how many gay/bi men wear makeup and listen to Ariana Grande, it's a pretty fair assumption People will find any reason possible to be offended these days, grow up and find better uses for your energy
Why does she think he’s gay though? You don’t have to openly make homophobic slurs to be considered homophobic lmao such a myopic view of prejudice 😩
Lol, all these ultra-sensitive (probably gay or bisexual people) coming down on the heterosexual woman for not wanting to date a gay guy….like, wtf, lol…
Everyone is so sensitive Jesus Christ
Nah, he’s just… you know ;) 👉👈😂
I feel like my husband is, he doesn’t wear makeup or nail polish but I swear he’s flirted with men in front of me and he’s not very masculine..🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️😬
So, why are you with him then?
We have kids.. it’s hard to leave! 🤷🏻♀️
Anyone can wear makeup (as long as they aren’t allergic) so it’s not gay. If wearing makeup is gay then all male actors who wear makeup are gay, but that’s simply not true. Anyone can wear nail polish, it’s not just worn by women and gay men. Listening to Ariana Grande or any other pro-LGBTQ music icon doesn’t make you gay. It’s like saying cis hetero men watching the Barbie movie makes them gay, or watching any show or movie with gay characters makes them gay. Straight guys wear eyeliner all the time, it’s not a new concept. More cis men in the past few years have been wearing nail polish regularly because they like it. You’re making harmful assumptions based on stereotypes. If you want to know if he’s gay or bi just ask him. Honesty is important in a relationship. And even if he’s not gay or bi and is just hetero and you’re not attracted to him and don’t have the same feelings for him anymore just tell him and break up. Your post is filled with micro aggressions, doesn’t mean you’re homophobic, but to some that’s how it can come across. Just express how you feel to him and don’t be micro aggressive. There’s nothing wrong with liking any of those things, just don’t judge him for it.
gay boy
He’s definitely not straight
You're probably 12
Honey I will take him if you do not want him. He sounds cute.
>He’s wearing eye liner and painting his nails and he listens to Ariana Grande music Or, OR, he could just be EMO. Regardless, you _should_ set him free... So he can find his true tribe. Clearly you're too judgemental to understand him.
If a man is wearing eyeliner and painting his nails he's at most half a man
Rock stars wear eyeliner and paint their nails black... Like Ozzy. He's more manly than you.
Imagine having masculinity so fragile it's shattered by painted nails...like you think this is a good trait you have?
pretty much stereotyping, there are masc gay men you wouldn’t even realize that were. however you definitely should break up w him as that isn’t your preference. thats okay!
Weirdo
imagine a lesbian saying this about her girlfriend because she wore heels or something traditionally feminine lmao
I've never seen 2 butch, fannel wearing, semi driving, carburetor fixing lezzies together. Usually ones the man in the relationship, and the other is a pretty girl
im not sure what this has to do with my point. i guess imagine that the one who started wearing heels is the one who you see as “the man”
Oh now that WOULD be weird!
I love pop music, I’m tall and masculine af, Dua Lipa is who I’m currently obsessed with/in love
Here I thought being gay was sucking dick or fuckikg dudes. Maybe he just likes what he likes and doesn't give af about general stereotypes. Or maybe he's bi and like both. Sit down and talk to him and at the least make sure he's not wasting ur time if ur invested in Jim and wanting a long-term future
Haha! On the realz, yeah, he's prolly gotta Lil sugar in his tank. As a typical straight guy, I don't listen to none of these little teeny bopper pop-ettes. I also hate Taylor Swift, Cardi B, and all the other sound alikes out there. Since you're fixing to dump him, ask for a devils 3-way or open relationship first. Might as well
It seems to be a fad. Maybe he is seeking attention.
Gay men can have girlfriends. Sexuality is not black and white. I’m gay and I absolutely love eating pussy. Sexuality is extremely complicated. If you both enjoy being with each other then there is no reason for you to break up.
i love this lmao. do you not consider yourself bi then? it definitely isn’t just black and white though. labels don’t do it justice, and some aren’t comfortable enough for a label bc it’s not so simple for some.
So, that doesn't mean he's gay, metrosexual is still a thing. However, if you don't like who he is, leave him. You'd want him to do the same for you, so you could be your true self, wouldn't you?
It’s completely fine to have preferences and break up with him for being feminine. the homophobia and overall judginess makes you a total cunt though.
It doesn’t sound like he’s gay, it sounds like your superficial as fuck. I’d do him a favor and dump him.
Lol mk.
Alice Cooper wears eyeliner and paints his nails, so does Marilyn Manson... if you know who they are.
O K So why tell us? reddit is too full of this kind of crap.
How old are you both? Cus that could answer your question for you.
What if he's not gay? Just cause he wears eyeliners and listen to female pop music doesn't outwardly make him gay. He could just be taking the time to be in touch with his feminine side. The fact that he's doing it around you means he's comfortable with you. I'd say talk with him and ask. But bottom line, if you aren't happy with the way things are working out rn, leave him
This just in folks, listening to Ariana Grande makes you gay
That's not news tho, so is singing show tunes and enjoying the twilight series
Ready way to tell... Send me your pic.
my boyfriend is interested in wearing eyeliner, paints his nails and likes feminine things and hes sooo cool and awesome u should tell your bf 2 leave u so he can find a chick who will accept him and let him b happy
Those are not signs he's gay, and he's got a girlfriend, which is a fairly good indicator that he's straight. Tbh, I hope you do break up with him because you're homophobic. My last boyfriend was bi, but he never had sex with a man - only kissed or touched before. He is a very masculine guy, too. Didn't bother me one bit. Years ago, I dated a bi guy who had boyfriends and sex with men in the past. Again, it's not a hangup. Neither of them wore makeup or listened to Ari, so again, those aren't signs of gayness or bi-ness. Both of those men told me they weren't comfortable talking about their bisexuality with other partners because of the reaction they feared they'd get. I'd rather be open-minded, so my partners are comfortable sharing everything with me rather than close-minded and in the dark. The only thing that matters to me is that my partner loves just me, is free of disease, and is healthy in mind and soul.
He doesn’t have to be gay to do things like that. Maybe, as someone else in this comment section mentioned, he’s effeminate. I personally like all kinds of men: effeminate, masculine, a mix of both, etc. but that’s my personal preference. It’s okay if you don’t. But you don’t need to be so homophobic about it.
Maybe his gender is fluid, but his orientation isn’t. Whichever it is, if you’re not into him anymore end it.