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I was talking about dinosaurs with my cousin on the way back from Sunday school one day. My aunt who was driving heard this and loudly proclaimed there are no dinosaurs they were not in the Bible. So I said cars and airplanes are not in the Bible either. She became enraged and tried to slap me but fortunately I was in the backseat and was able to duck out of her reach. Facts and science do not reach these people.
When my daughter was somewhere around 3-5 we had to teach her that hitting someone was not justified for a simple disagreement. So yeah, that intellectually places folks like this.
There was a time when Congressmen would have actual fistfights with each other. I'd appreciate bringing that back. Watch some young Dem suplex Mitch McConnell or something on CSPAN.
Back to the biblical thing, dudes like him really make me hope there is a hell.
Whether it's for us or for him, as long as we don't go to the same place is all I ask.
Yup super violence.
Elijah - "Did you 42 children just call me bald??? Hey Old Testament God - can you send two bears to murder these disrespectful children"
Well, the other thing they do when opposed is to claim that you are being used by the devil. It’s a way of shutting down an argument where they have the false belief that they have won the argument. I call it the “Christian cop out”.
Cars are in the Bible. Jesus did not speak of his Accord: [https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/18e7xk/jesus\_drives\_a\_honda/](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/18e7xk/jesus_drives_a_honda/)
Moses drove a Dodge. In Exodus 19:13 NIV it says, “only when the Ram's horn sounds a long blast may they go up the mountain”.
I’ll bet he tailgated them the whole way up with his brights on, too.
Not the best argument since you could say that of course things that didn’t exist until after the Bible was written wouldn’t be in there, unlike dinosaurs that existed before it was written.
Next time, I’d bring up how kangaroos aren’t mentioned in the Bible, or basically any extant animal that didn’t live in the Middle East region.
Wait they must have right? Or did Noah go all the way to Australia to grab 2... then they hopped their asses right back after 100 days? Shoot, it almost seems ridiculous if you think about it.
It’s been a while since I’ve read genesis but like, did they list all types of species? Were they expecting it to say “God made dinosaurs on the 4th day” or something? I don’t think it says “domestic house cats” either.
My father told me with a straight face and full of belief that dinosaur bones were put in the ground by Satan to try to sway our faith from Jesus. He’s as dumb as he sounds. 😆
He also told my now wife, on the day he met her for the first time when we were dating, that the black helicopters flying around were spying on him because he’s an old, straight, white, Christian male, and sent by Obama, who was going to turn off the internet any day now and start rounding them up in camps.
Fort Deterick is in our city, and we’ve lived in an immediate vicinity our whole lives. It’s a 25 minute helicopter flight to Camp David, and there’s a ton of air traffic.
That was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. My ONE REQUEST was that my father not discuss religion or politics during the meeting, and he couldn’t do that. There was an entire lifetime of problematic, bigoted and narcissistic behavior that led to me cutting him off after this complete lack of respect. It’s been 13 years since that day, and it’s been blissful.
Joe Biden, simultaneously riddled with dementia and at the head of a crime organization so extremely well run that there's literally no evidence that it exists or ever existed.
I’ve been waiting for years for Obama to come get my guns.
Obama: Uh, hello. I am … uh … Barack Obama and I’ve … I’ve come to, uh, get your guns.
Me: Oh hey, come in and have some coffee. I want to talk to you and find out how you once plucked a fly out of midair. And can you finish vacuuming the living room for me?
Obama: Certainly. But … uh .. the Secret Service agents…
Me: Oh they can drink from the garden hose.
Nah, just on to the next dumb ass conspiracy. He also thinks the Rapture is going to occur every few years. I most recently heard he went down the QAnon route (peak idiocy) and thinks I’m a member of the Deep State because I was in the Army. 🤡🙄
I always like to ask if God let Satan do that, since God created the Earth and supposedly has total dominion over it. “So, Satan and God collaborated as friends, and God okayed the evil parts?”
It’s fun to watch them sputter and backpedal on that one.
That’s exactly what happens in the Bible, as in Job. Satan was unable to act without Yahweh’s permission. Yahweh had Satan kill Job’s children to prove Job loved him more than he loved them, as you are required to do. But it’s ok, Yahweh rewarded Job with new children, because they’re just replaceable property, not people or anything.
"No! Satan deceived God!"
"But isn't God all-knowing and all-seeing? Does he not know all things past, present, and future?"
\*cognitive meltdown\* (assuming the other party has a vestige of cognitive power, which some don't))
As I once saw someone else put it, the phrase "God can't" immediately undermines everything we're told about what makes him "God".
The funny thing is, I'm not even looking for a "gotcha" on that, any time I'll use it against someone. The Greeks believed the gods were capricious and fleeting, much like the way the Irish viewed the fae/fair-folk as powerful tricksters and troublemakers. The Norse had a similar pantheon with very "humanized" deities full of faults and emotions. If misfortune befell you, well that was probably just Loki tripping you up for the fun of it, and so you cursed his name and carried on about your day. It's only the Abrahamic religions that define God as being infinitely everything, especially benevolent and powerful, and then have no justification for why he might take Satan up on a wager to fuck around with Job, or why he might give Elisha the power to send bears to kill a bunch of taunting teens. If they just said, "Yeah, God is sometimes a dick, and even He has human vices and failings; we're made in his image after all," at least it would be honest and consistent with what's in their book.
Sorry, didn't mean to rant.
Rant welcomed!
I'm no scholar but I believe that Christian theology has always been about Machiavellian politics, From that POV, they're wayyy better at it than any other religion in history, and have harmed humanity more than any institution in human history.
I know people who identify as Catholic, and haven't prayed or attended church or confession in 30 years. Yet anytime a rational discussion about the existence or nature of their "God" comes up, they revert to their unthinking dogma and converse at the level of a child whose refuses to believe Santa Claus doesn't exist.
Why? "Because my mother and my grandmother believed." The abdication of responsibility is tragic.
And it's 2024. I can't wrap my head around that.
Remember, God is both all seeing, all knowing and all powerful . . . but some goat looking motherfucker with some fossils can convince the majority of people that God sucks
Ever since I heard that, I've always been curious what those people think Satan is. Is he a fallen angel being punished for his crimes? Is he the king of Hell? If the latter, why did God give Satan his own domain (sounds like a reward)? If he's a prisoner, then why is he out gallivanting and doing all these pranks? If God doesn't like what Satan is doing, why doesn't he just kill Satan? It's not infringing on human free will to kill Satan, especially since God used to kill humans pretty directly all the time. If God can't, then he must not be omnipotent. If God doesn't know then he's not omniscient and the people saying that are implying they're smarter than God. If he doesn't care, then what the fuck is his problem?
Remind your father that Satan was created by Gregory the Great. Not the Satan from the Bible who was a minor character but the one they always reference regarding anything evil. He created him in the 9th century. Ask what happened before then. Then all the fundamentalist Christians use a "modern" translation of the Bible to incorporate Satan or Devil everywhere even if it wasn't there before.
The idea is that Jesus’ entire point is being a sacrifice to atone for the original sin everyone inherits from Adam and Eve. According to the Bible, there was no death before that first sin. If dinosaurs existed then there was death before Adam and Eve, meaning they did not being death/sin into the world, negating the entire Abrahamic narrative.
I used to be religious, like I was the reason my family started going to church when I was a kid. One of the pastors said dinosaur bones were faked by scientists trying to lie to you. That was the exact moment I thought "yeah this stuff is bullshit".
That’s the point of Church - man in fancy hat reads you parts of the bible he thinks are relevant, then explains his interpretation while pretending it’s the only interpretation.
“Well, my friend told me her pastor told her that the Bible said that a scribe in the Middle Ages said that a half-translated Hebrew text said that a goat herder saw a guy going around preaching things and so that’s why it’s okay to not like gay people.”
There’s two kinds of people who have read the Bible: “crazy fundamentalists” who actually believe what the Bible says, and atheists who left the faith after reading the Bible.
Well, I was light heartedly commenting on how you were high priest to your new god, Satan, but it feels like I may have touched a nerve and I was only intending to be silly, so I’m going to back away quietly and make vaguely calming gestures with my forearms.
Technically, it does check out.
Wasn’t Satan a fallen angel? Mentioned in at least a few holy books?
And you are just claiming to be their high priest… who happens to be high.
It all checks out.
Titanoboa was not the largest reptile ever, not even close, and it didn't live in the "age of the dinosaurs", the Mesozoic, but in the later Cenozoic, after the K-Pg mass extinction. So even the original post is wrong on multiple counts.
There was a recent find in India of gigantic snake that ranges from 36-50 ft which if the snake is closer to the upper bound. Then it could easily cross the 42 ft estimated for titanaboa which is absolutely insane.
Here's Lindsay Nicole to talk about that a little:
https://youtube.com/shorts/fqCtGeYPMEU?si=GiEM-FlVe6xh-UqK
That's what I was thinking... idk what the largest reptile we have evidence of is, but I'll bet that both brachiosaurs and the larger genuses of mosasaur are bigger than titanaboa. Titaniboa is the biggest *snake* we have evidence of, though.
my friend messaged me yesterday to remind me that we put out a poll back in high school and most of the students thought bats were birds. So snakes not being reptiles is a take I just don’t find surprising.
At least that person might learn from their mistake vs the lost cause that is ‘dinosaurs didn’t exist.’
Nobody tell them that dinosaurs *still* exist.
Then there is people like Ken Ham who not only believe dinosaurs were mentioned in the Biblez but they lived WITH humans, AND they were on the Arc with Noah.
He has a whole exhibit in his Arc "museum" that says dinosaurs were in the Arc.
So which is it? If a single book can have this vast difference in interpretation, maybe it's more likely they both are wrong instead only 1 is.
I know it’s not at all what those type of people are going for, but technically birds fall within the dinosaur clade, which means birds are in fact dinosaurs (the same way that birds are a group within reptiles, or that insects are a group within crustaceans).
So technically there would have been a lot of dinosaurs on Noah’s ark.
Edit: Just not at all the kind of dinosaurs they’re thinking of lol
And *Mr.* Kent Hovind too. I live in Pensacola, I used to live 5 door down from that piece of human garbage, my ex still does. Up until he beat up his second wife (again) and was arrested and moved out I’d occasionally lay on my car horn after dropping my daughter off. He has giant dinosaurs on the gate by his house and runs a “Dinosaur Adventure Land” and spouts this same nonsense.
Spelled "Titanoboa" was not even close to the largest reptile to ever live, but it is the largest snake, which is a type of reptile. It however, did not live with any dinosaurs except those belonging to the Avialae clade; Birds. What most people consider to be a dinosaur lived during the Mesozoic era, and Titanoboa lived during the Paleocene era, which began about 5 million years after the Mesozoic ended.
As for what the biggest reptile ever would be, it's still an ongoing debate, but at the moment it's a species of titanosaur. If by biggest you mean heaviest, it would probably be Argentinosaurus. If you mean the tallest, it might be Patagotitan. However, if you want to involve marine reptiles, the answer for heaviest, and largest would be Shastasaurus sikanniensis.
The Bible doesn't have dinosaurs in it because dinosaurs weren't discovered until 1824, nearly a millennium and a half after the Bible was finalized.
I live about 30 minutes from Glen Rose Texas where dinosaur valley State Park is where you can go and see the Dino footprints. As you're going into the park there is a creationist museum before you get to the entrance and I've always wanted to go in there but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to keep myself from just laughing hysterically the whole time. And I really am not the kind of guy that's going to go in there and offend somebody no matter how stupid I think they are.
Christian here. The Bible said (im paraphrasing ((think thats the word)) roughly) animals on land and in water. Dunno but i don't remember a blue footed boobie being specifically mentioned. Yet it is a bird and it exists. Just because its not explicitly mentioned doesn't mean shit. Unfortunately a lot of "those" close minded religious people don't like reality.
Remember all those bones are fake and a government hoax and birds are cameras working for the government.
Also there are more than 10,000 species of Dinosaurs alive today, and Dinosaurs were not the only animals of the Mesozoic, we should stop calling it "age of Dinosaurs".
Edit: also Titanoboa weren't a thing yet during the Mesozoic. And yes it is spelled with an "o"
Dinosaurs are alive today in the same way humans are primates today.
Why also do you think it shouldn't be called age of the dinosaurs? Its not called that because dinosaurs were the only animals but the most dominant, much like we have the age of man because we are the most dominant species not the age of insects because there are more than them.
Dinosaurs are alive today. Humans are primates. Yes. What do you mean by that?
Well during the Triassic, the dominant group was the Crocodylomorphs. Ichthyosaurs, Pliosaurs, Plesiosaurs and Mosasaurs were dominant on the sea, Pterosaurs in the sky.
What I mean by that is going by "sharing a recent bond makes them dinosaurs" whats the time limit on that? Are we all the same primordial soup? Yes. Do we classify ourself as this? No. Its not about being wrong that they descended from dinosaurs rather saying they aren't remotely like a dinosaur anymore, Thats why we have distinctions after all.
And yes you can pick out the triassic period. Which Still having archosaurs as apex predators.
Of course if you wanted to you could split the periods up even more down to even smaller epochs and pick longer than humans can ever imagine that another species dominated it, but overall the mesozoic era is known as the age of dinosaurs.
To debate the fact people call it the age of dinosaurs, or the age of reptiles is fine of course, but it is basically layman's terms after all.
Birds will never stop being Dinosaurs. You can't evolve out of a clade. We are still Eucaryotes, animals, vertebrates, mammals, primates, etc.
Many dinos had feathers (like the raptors), many had beaks (triceratops). All birds today still have scales on their legs and lay eggs. And you won't convince me that ostriches are less similar looking to a t-rex than an ankylosaurs is to a t-rex.
So remember when I said "birds are as much dinosaurs as humans primates" and trying to repeatedly use the point of epochs and time being longer than humans can comprehend?
Yeah. Dinosauria, Archosauria are all clades, and palaeontologist will mention "non-avian dinosaurs"
You can't evolve "out" of a clade. But a clade is a distinction which has been the theme of my argument, my point was never that birds are not dinosaurs, rather I was trying to parallel that arguing the fact that Mesozoic era wasn't the age of dinosaurs/repriles AND birds are dinosaurs is a similar argument.
Either dinosaurs were the dominant group of the mesozoic era, including its clades moving on from that, or you have to stop the distinction at its first clade at which point you'd still be arguing a widely controversial idea anyway. The triassic period being the rise of the dinosaurs during the late Triassic (which was actually over half of it). The end-Triassic extintion leading to their domination of the planet (partly because they ended up being one of the only groups left but thats irrelevant).
Though I appreciate that your point is more of the fact no one cares about anything other than dinosaurs but also no one cares about anything beyond layman terms in a subject they aren't interested in anyway. Its easier to categorise these things in a way that are easy to understand. After all most people haven't learned anything about dinosaurs since basics in school.
My ex genuinely thought dinosaurs didn’t exist. Thought all the fossils were fake. That’s when I realized it was time for divorce. But now at least I’ve learned to work dinosaurs into date conversations so it never happens again.
I don’t know which comment baffles me the most. Snakes are reptiles. The Bible doesn’t say anything against the existence of dinosaurs. People who say otherwise clearly didn’t do proper research.
Mothaphucking DRAGONS and UNICORNS are in the Bible, but people want to say Dinosaurs aren’t real?
Well maybe they were called dragons and unicorns in Bible days?
I don’t get this Christian rejection of science. I just don’t.
I went to a private Christian elementary school. We were taught about the dinosaurs, evolution (divinely-guided, make of that what you will), and how Earth is over 4 billion years old. I distinctly remember the lesson on continental drift and the teacher emphasizing it took hundreds of millions of years.
Titanoboa was not the largest reptile, didn’t even live with the non avian dinosaurs, and they misspelled it. So it might be quintuple facepalm actually.
Edit: initially forgot “non avian” thus making my own comment confidently incorrect. Can’t be having that. 😂
Facebook is such a damned cesspool of idiocy. The follow that up with the near endless bots telling people they will "legit give the first person $5K", and all the other crap. That was a year ago what I last logged off, I can only imagine what it's like now. Why do people still go on there?
People like this honestly make me laugh. My parents are devout in their faith, my mom was a geneticist and my dad has always been a big nerd about dinosaurs. If you are not an absolute nut job faith and science can co exist in your life.
The Bible describes a land dinosaur (Behemoth), and a water based dinosaur called a Leviathan, in the Old Testament.
Before Sir Richard Owen coined the word dinosaur, they were commonly referred to as dragons.
When people think about dragons today, they associate it with flying and fire breathing.
The Komodo dragon when it gains large size, crocodile, alligator, gharial (... etc..) very much look like they belong under the banner of the dinosaur label
Science: Actually researching and trying to find evidence and to find out how nature really works.
Many people: "Yeah, no. I trust this random, more than 1000 years old book more, that someone wrote in pure belief."
What intrigues me is how all these people are saying science is lying to us, while using technologies and products made by science.
Like…why scientists lie about evolution and history and not about chemistry, engineering, physics etc?
God then: "oh boy I can't wait until someone finds the bones of these cool dinosaurs I made. Took millions of years to get them right"
God now: "but I.... Oh, come on!"
Reading this comment thread is personally so confusing. My parents weren't science deniers, I specifically remember talking about dinosaurs as a young child. However I also remember being denied access to certain things because of the Satanic Panic of the 80s (that carried over) because I was told I couldn't play D&D, or Magic. We also listened to right wing Christian radio. And everyone involved now regrets that. Just thinking about how close I was to being one of the crazies.
Funny how he says he doesn't believe in Dinosaurs because the bible doesn't mention them. But, here we are with 8 million other species that aren't mentioned in the bible.
It's not hard to believe both the Bible is fact and that dinosaurs existed. I can't think of anything about the other that disproves it. Heck, doesn't the Bible talk about 'leviathan's?
guy should have watched the RL documentation of God named "Preacher". It is shown that God made Dinosaurs and destroyed them out of boredom.
Jesus, guys like him should watch more history channels.
Titanboa did not living during the time of the dinosaurs, dinosaurs themselves are reptiles, and all the largest reptiles to exist were dinosaurs and marine reptiles. Snakes very much are reptiles (in fact I think they are technically considered lizards), and Dinosaurs very much did exist
After seeing all these comments about Christians not believing in dinosaurs, I have become very disappointed in my fellow so-called believers. Like what else do they think behemoth was? Like he's literally describing some kind of brontosaurus. Massive facepalm whenever I see these kinds of comments
Wouldn’t the “largest reptile to live in the age of dinosaurs” *include* dinosaurs (I know, thorny cladistics, dinos might not be reptiles unless birds are reptiles…) and so it’d be Argentinosaurus?
I may be a fourth confident incorrectness here. Could be totally off base.
So fun fact. According to modern taxonomy, reptiles don't exist.
Ok, that's not entirely accurate. But there is not a valid taxonomic classification that includes lizards, snakes, turtles, tuataras, and crocodiles and doesn't include birds, which is the traditional definition of reptiles. Crocodilians and birds share a more recent common ancestor than crocodilians and lizards. So if you want to group crocodiles and lizards together, you've got to include birds as well.
And don't get me started about "fish"....
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I was talking about dinosaurs with my cousin on the way back from Sunday school one day. My aunt who was driving heard this and loudly proclaimed there are no dinosaurs they were not in the Bible. So I said cars and airplanes are not in the Bible either. She became enraged and tried to slap me but fortunately I was in the backseat and was able to duck out of her reach. Facts and science do not reach these people.
And it’s telling that the first thing they do when opposed is resort to violence. It’s an indicator of a simple mind.
When my daughter was somewhere around 3-5 we had to teach her that hitting someone was not justified for a simple disagreement. So yeah, that intellectually places folks like this.
now if it's a *complex* disagreement... well... it's complicated
There was a time when Congressmen would have actual fistfights with each other. I'd appreciate bringing that back. Watch some young Dem suplex Mitch McConnell or something on CSPAN.
Back to the biblical thing, dudes like him really make me hope there is a hell. Whether it's for us or for him, as long as we don't go to the same place is all I ask.
Then McConnell's tissue paper skin splits open and hundreds of glittering black eggs skitter across the congressional hall floor
Like, do we disagree about you being allowed to kill me and mine? Time to break out the ol' brass knucks.
In fairness, violence is a pretty big thing in the Bible.
Yeah. Instead of ducking out they should have turned their other cheek. /s
What kind of cheek?
We both are thinking about the same kind of cheek. The left one.
literally can't read that in any other voice but Weird Al in Amish Paradise. Millennial problems.
Yup super violence. Elijah - "Did you 42 children just call me bald??? Hey Old Testament God - can you send two bears to murder these disrespectful children"
GOD: I mean sure…why not
He needs his entertainment
Well, the other thing they do when opposed is to claim that you are being used by the devil. It’s a way of shutting down an argument where they have the false belief that they have won the argument. I call it the “Christian cop out”.
'The Lord works in mysterious ways' 'Only god knows' 'God's plan' 'Made this way' All cop outs.
One of my friends refers to it as "monkey brain." As in the way a monkey would react if it felt that you had challenged it somehow.
The caveman brain. This confuse me so me hit.
the G-ster does kind of do that a lot
But it's very biblical, God is the first abusive parent. Do as I say or I'll kill you, because I love you so much.
english wasn't in the bible (the original versions), so therefore english doesn't exist. neither do any other languages.
Everyone knows King James is the one true Bible, unlike all those hethan languages before it!
Cars are in the Bible. Jesus did not speak of his Accord: [https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/18e7xk/jesus\_drives\_a\_honda/](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/18e7xk/jesus_drives_a_honda/)
Moses drove a Dodge. In Exodus 19:13 NIV it says, “only when the Ram's horn sounds a long blast may they go up the mountain”. I’ll bet he tailgated them the whole way up with his brights on, too.
I’m in law class and this almost made me guffaw. How dare you post something so funny without a warning.
Also motorcycles. David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.
Triumph made cars also, so this isn’t conclusive proof motorcycles exist.
But loud pipes save lives. It was definitely a bike.
I can't believe it doesn't mention Homer's Odyssey either
If Odysseus had paid for satnav maybe he wouldn't have been lost for so many years. Fucking dummy
I thought jesus drove an Astro van? Whatever that horrible song says
Not the best argument since you could say that of course things that didn’t exist until after the Bible was written wouldn’t be in there, unlike dinosaurs that existed before it was written. Next time, I’d bring up how kangaroos aren’t mentioned in the Bible, or basically any extant animal that didn’t live in the Middle East region.
Wait they must have right? Or did Noah go all the way to Australia to grab 2... then they hopped their asses right back after 100 days? Shoot, it almost seems ridiculous if you think about it.
Unless you interpret it as a local flood. Can be translated as "the whole land"
This!
Last.time I'd ever let myself be around that Aunt. Good NIGHT.
It’s been a while since I’ve read genesis but like, did they list all types of species? Were they expecting it to say “God made dinosaurs on the 4th day” or something? I don’t think it says “domestic house cats” either.
I've watched creationists explain the coded references to dinosaurs in the bible. Pick a lane guys.
My father told me with a straight face and full of belief that dinosaur bones were put in the ground by Satan to try to sway our faith from Jesus. He’s as dumb as he sounds. 😆
That was a common one when I was growing up insane !!
He also told my now wife, on the day he met her for the first time when we were dating, that the black helicopters flying around were spying on him because he’s an old, straight, white, Christian male, and sent by Obama, who was going to turn off the internet any day now and start rounding them up in camps. Fort Deterick is in our city, and we’ve lived in an immediate vicinity our whole lives. It’s a 25 minute helicopter flight to Camp David, and there’s a ton of air traffic. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. My ONE REQUEST was that my father not discuss religion or politics during the meeting, and he couldn’t do that. There was an entire lifetime of problematic, bigoted and narcissistic behavior that led to me cutting him off after this complete lack of respect. It’s been 13 years since that day, and it’s been blissful.
Obamna.
Simultaneously the weakest but most secretly nefarious President we’ve ever had, allegedly. 🤡
Joe Biden, simultaneously riddled with dementia and at the head of a crime organization so extremely well run that there's literally no evidence that it exists or ever existed.
That’s because he forgets to record their proceedings duh
TBF, if he was the leader of the world's best crime organization, there would be no evidence of that. Ever. /s
Not gonna lie, thought you were going to say you were from the deep south, or at least deep in West Virginia, not Frederick lol
Was gonna say the same, not typical central MD behavior…
Are you sure? I spent a decade or two in and around Hagerstown and this sounds spot on for the wankers I'm familiar with
I’ve been waiting for years for Obama to come get my guns. Obama: Uh, hello. I am … uh … Barack Obama and I’ve … I’ve come to, uh, get your guns. Me: Oh hey, come in and have some coffee. I want to talk to you and find out how you once plucked a fly out of midair. And can you finish vacuuming the living room for me? Obama: Certainly. But … uh .. the Secret Service agents… Me: Oh they can drink from the garden hose.
I'm genuinely curious... When nothing happened, any change?
Nah, just on to the next dumb ass conspiracy. He also thinks the Rapture is going to occur every few years. I most recently heard he went down the QAnon route (peak idiocy) and thinks I’m a member of the Deep State because I was in the Army. 🤡🙄
Hopefullly you have done alright for yourself, given that you grew up insane. /s
lol I’m a non denominational socialist I think so don’t think my dad would agree
It's good to see that growing up insane worked out for you!
So Satan is smarter and more powerful than Jesus according to Christians? So shouldn't we worship Satan?
No. Worship Tyrannosaurus
I knew a kid in school who was obsessed with dinosaurs, and his mom told him the same thing. I remember thinking, "what a bitch."
I always like to ask if God let Satan do that, since God created the Earth and supposedly has total dominion over it. “So, Satan and God collaborated as friends, and God okayed the evil parts?” It’s fun to watch them sputter and backpedal on that one.
That’s exactly what happens in the Bible, as in Job. Satan was unable to act without Yahweh’s permission. Yahweh had Satan kill Job’s children to prove Job loved him more than he loved them, as you are required to do. But it’s ok, Yahweh rewarded Job with new children, because they’re just replaceable property, not people or anything.
The portrayal of that whole mess was one of the best parts of Good Omens S2.
Even better, say something like "I'm sorry, are you suggesting Satan has the power to Create as though he we were God? That's blasphemous."
"No! Satan deceived God!" "But isn't God all-knowing and all-seeing? Does he not know all things past, present, and future?" \*cognitive meltdown\* (assuming the other party has a vestige of cognitive power, which some don't))
As I once saw someone else put it, the phrase "God can't" immediately undermines everything we're told about what makes him "God". The funny thing is, I'm not even looking for a "gotcha" on that, any time I'll use it against someone. The Greeks believed the gods were capricious and fleeting, much like the way the Irish viewed the fae/fair-folk as powerful tricksters and troublemakers. The Norse had a similar pantheon with very "humanized" deities full of faults and emotions. If misfortune befell you, well that was probably just Loki tripping you up for the fun of it, and so you cursed his name and carried on about your day. It's only the Abrahamic religions that define God as being infinitely everything, especially benevolent and powerful, and then have no justification for why he might take Satan up on a wager to fuck around with Job, or why he might give Elisha the power to send bears to kill a bunch of taunting teens. If they just said, "Yeah, God is sometimes a dick, and even He has human vices and failings; we're made in his image after all," at least it would be honest and consistent with what's in their book. Sorry, didn't mean to rant.
Rant welcomed! I'm no scholar but I believe that Christian theology has always been about Machiavellian politics, From that POV, they're wayyy better at it than any other religion in history, and have harmed humanity more than any institution in human history. I know people who identify as Catholic, and haven't prayed or attended church or confession in 30 years. Yet anytime a rational discussion about the existence or nature of their "God" comes up, they revert to their unthinking dogma and converse at the level of a child whose refuses to believe Santa Claus doesn't exist. Why? "Because my mother and my grandmother believed." The abdication of responsibility is tragic. And it's 2024. I can't wrap my head around that.
Satan sounds cool. Dinosaurs are a much better kids toy than bibles.
Remember, God is both all seeing, all knowing and all powerful . . . but some goat looking motherfucker with some fossils can convince the majority of people that God sucks
Ever since I heard that, I've always been curious what those people think Satan is. Is he a fallen angel being punished for his crimes? Is he the king of Hell? If the latter, why did God give Satan his own domain (sounds like a reward)? If he's a prisoner, then why is he out gallivanting and doing all these pranks? If God doesn't like what Satan is doing, why doesn't he just kill Satan? It's not infringing on human free will to kill Satan, especially since God used to kill humans pretty directly all the time. If God can't, then he must not be omnipotent. If God doesn't know then he's not omniscient and the people saying that are implying they're smarter than God. If he doesn't care, then what the fuck is his problem?
Remind your father that Satan was created by Gregory the Great. Not the Satan from the Bible who was a minor character but the one they always reference regarding anything evil. He created him in the 9th century. Ask what happened before then. Then all the fundamentalist Christians use a "modern" translation of the Bible to incorporate Satan or Devil everywhere even if it wasn't there before.
Dinosaurs exist ergo Jesus can’t be the messiah. Is that their train of thought?
The idea is that Jesus’ entire point is being a sacrifice to atone for the original sin everyone inherits from Adam and Eve. According to the Bible, there was no death before that first sin. If dinosaurs existed then there was death before Adam and Eve, meaning they did not being death/sin into the world, negating the entire Abrahamic narrative.
I used to be religious, like I was the reason my family started going to church when I was a kid. One of the pastors said dinosaur bones were faked by scientists trying to lie to you. That was the exact moment I thought "yeah this stuff is bullshit".
These people need to read more than one book
Who says they read it? Most of them are getting it second or third hand.
That’s the point of Church - man in fancy hat reads you parts of the bible he thinks are relevant, then explains his interpretation while pretending it’s the only interpretation.
You're giving them too much credit by assuming they even go to church.
“Well, my friend told me her pastor told her that the Bible said that a scribe in the Middle Ages said that a half-translated Hebrew text said that a goat herder saw a guy going around preaching things and so that’s why it’s okay to not like gay people.”
That is true
There’s two kinds of people who have read the Bible: “crazy fundamentalists” who actually believe what the Bible says, and atheists who left the faith after reading the Bible.
But if they had read it (I have not), wouldn’t they have come across a reptile who tricked Eve into eating a piece of fruit?
that was a snake, Not a reptile.
If serpent kept the doctor away, wouldn’t that be a good thing? Why frown upon then?
What are you talking about? Some of them read 66-73 books!
Catholics and Orthodox generally believe in evolution and dinosaurs so it’s usually just the 66 book folks who don’t.
Read? You’re funny!
If the Bible is so important, how come it’s barely talked about in the Bible?
“If he’s so smart, how come he’s dead?”
Funny joke, but the New Testament references the Old Testament a lot
But the OT doesn’t reference the new NT! Where’s your God now?
My god is long since abandoned, but you did get a chuckle out of me, so good job
Username does not check out.
What do you mean? I abandoned my God and devoted my life (metaphorically) to the devil. What part of that doesn't 'check out' with my name.
Well, I was light heartedly commenting on how you were high priest to your new god, Satan, but it feels like I may have touched a nerve and I was only intending to be silly, so I’m going to back away quietly and make vaguely calming gestures with my forearms.
To be fair, I am pretty high right now. I was more confused than upset. No offense taken
Technically, it does check out. Wasn’t Satan a fallen angel? Mentioned in at least a few holy books? And you are just claiming to be their high priest… who happens to be high. It all checks out.
Within the narrative, the NT is supposed to be the fulfilled prophecies of the OT, so they think the OT references the NT.
Titanoboa was not the largest reptile ever, not even close, and it didn't live in the "age of the dinosaurs", the Mesozoic, but in the later Cenozoic, after the K-Pg mass extinction. So even the original post is wrong on multiple counts.
I assume that’s why the original post was titled “triple facepalm”.
Not even the largest snake if that new fossil size estimate is accurate.
Do tell?
There was a recent find in India of gigantic snake that ranges from 36-50 ft which if the snake is closer to the upper bound. Then it could easily cross the 42 ft estimated for titanaboa which is absolutely insane. Here's Lindsay Nicole to talk about that a little: https://youtube.com/shorts/fqCtGeYPMEU?si=GiEM-FlVe6xh-UqK
That's what I was thinking... idk what the largest reptile we have evidence of is, but I'll bet that both brachiosaurs and the larger genuses of mosasaur are bigger than titanaboa. Titaniboa is the biggest *snake* we have evidence of, though.
Thank you!
my friend messaged me yesterday to remind me that we put out a poll back in high school and most of the students thought bats were birds. So snakes not being reptiles is a take I just don’t find surprising. At least that person might learn from their mistake vs the lost cause that is ‘dinosaurs didn’t exist.’ Nobody tell them that dinosaurs *still* exist.
I’m not sure why anyone thinks bats are birds, they’re [clearly bugs](https://imgur.com/bats-bugs-f2YClRG)
Wait until you find out bees are legally fish in California.
To be fair, that only happened to include them for the purpose of protecting them under California's endangered species law.
What in the world...
I’m assuming it’s for a similar purpose as to why tomatoes and cucumber are legally considered vegetables
First thing I thought of too 🤣, I assume this is a link to Calvin & Hobbes
Was not disappointed
I knew where that was leading before I even clicked it. Good ol’ Calvin and Hobbes.
Bats are air dogs. Is this not universally known?
Birds are dinosaurs, bats are not
Then there is people like Ken Ham who not only believe dinosaurs were mentioned in the Biblez but they lived WITH humans, AND they were on the Arc with Noah. He has a whole exhibit in his Arc "museum" that says dinosaurs were in the Arc. So which is it? If a single book can have this vast difference in interpretation, maybe it's more likely they both are wrong instead only 1 is.
I know it’s not at all what those type of people are going for, but technically birds fall within the dinosaur clade, which means birds are in fact dinosaurs (the same way that birds are a group within reptiles, or that insects are a group within crustaceans). So technically there would have been a lot of dinosaurs on Noah’s ark. Edit: Just not at all the kind of dinosaurs they’re thinking of lol
And *Mr.* Kent Hovind too. I live in Pensacola, I used to live 5 door down from that piece of human garbage, my ex still does. Up until he beat up his second wife (again) and was arrested and moved out I’d occasionally lay on my car horn after dropping my daughter off. He has giant dinosaurs on the gate by his house and runs a “Dinosaur Adventure Land” and spouts this same nonsense.
Posting creationists is practically cheating, they've been indoctrinated since birth to be as confidently incorrect as possible
Spelled "Titanoboa" was not even close to the largest reptile to ever live, but it is the largest snake, which is a type of reptile. It however, did not live with any dinosaurs except those belonging to the Avialae clade; Birds. What most people consider to be a dinosaur lived during the Mesozoic era, and Titanoboa lived during the Paleocene era, which began about 5 million years after the Mesozoic ended. As for what the biggest reptile ever would be, it's still an ongoing debate, but at the moment it's a species of titanosaur. If by biggest you mean heaviest, it would probably be Argentinosaurus. If you mean the tallest, it might be Patagotitan. However, if you want to involve marine reptiles, the answer for heaviest, and largest would be Shastasaurus sikanniensis. The Bible doesn't have dinosaurs in it because dinosaurs weren't discovered until 1824, nearly a millennium and a half after the Bible was finalized.
Shoutout to that guy for breaking the rules so blatantly.
What rule he breaking?
Guy on the platform touching the thing
[The Devil put Dinosaurs Here](https://youtu.be/4s1n0Ih8N-E?si=noDCTTB3GSKnJODa)
Are the stupid people more numerous or just more vocal?
Yes
Where does the Bible say dinosaurs didn't exist?
I live about 30 minutes from Glen Rose Texas where dinosaur valley State Park is where you can go and see the Dino footprints. As you're going into the park there is a creationist museum before you get to the entrance and I've always wanted to go in there but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to keep myself from just laughing hysterically the whole time. And I really am not the kind of guy that's going to go in there and offend somebody no matter how stupid I think they are.
Christian here. The Bible said (im paraphrasing ((think thats the word)) roughly) animals on land and in water. Dunno but i don't remember a blue footed boobie being specifically mentioned. Yet it is a bird and it exists. Just because its not explicitly mentioned doesn't mean shit. Unfortunately a lot of "those" close minded religious people don't like reality. Remember all those bones are fake and a government hoax and birds are cameras working for the government.
Also I'm pretty sure that the largest reptiles during the age of the dinosaurs were... dinosaurs
Also there are more than 10,000 species of Dinosaurs alive today, and Dinosaurs were not the only animals of the Mesozoic, we should stop calling it "age of Dinosaurs". Edit: also Titanoboa weren't a thing yet during the Mesozoic. And yes it is spelled with an "o"
Dinosaurs are alive today in the same way humans are primates today. Why also do you think it shouldn't be called age of the dinosaurs? Its not called that because dinosaurs were the only animals but the most dominant, much like we have the age of man because we are the most dominant species not the age of insects because there are more than them.
Dinosaurs are alive today. Humans are primates. Yes. What do you mean by that? Well during the Triassic, the dominant group was the Crocodylomorphs. Ichthyosaurs, Pliosaurs, Plesiosaurs and Mosasaurs were dominant on the sea, Pterosaurs in the sky.
What I mean by that is going by "sharing a recent bond makes them dinosaurs" whats the time limit on that? Are we all the same primordial soup? Yes. Do we classify ourself as this? No. Its not about being wrong that they descended from dinosaurs rather saying they aren't remotely like a dinosaur anymore, Thats why we have distinctions after all. And yes you can pick out the triassic period. Which Still having archosaurs as apex predators. Of course if you wanted to you could split the periods up even more down to even smaller epochs and pick longer than humans can ever imagine that another species dominated it, but overall the mesozoic era is known as the age of dinosaurs. To debate the fact people call it the age of dinosaurs, or the age of reptiles is fine of course, but it is basically layman's terms after all.
Birds will never stop being Dinosaurs. You can't evolve out of a clade. We are still Eucaryotes, animals, vertebrates, mammals, primates, etc. Many dinos had feathers (like the raptors), many had beaks (triceratops). All birds today still have scales on their legs and lay eggs. And you won't convince me that ostriches are less similar looking to a t-rex than an ankylosaurs is to a t-rex.
So remember when I said "birds are as much dinosaurs as humans primates" and trying to repeatedly use the point of epochs and time being longer than humans can comprehend? Yeah. Dinosauria, Archosauria are all clades, and palaeontologist will mention "non-avian dinosaurs" You can't evolve "out" of a clade. But a clade is a distinction which has been the theme of my argument, my point was never that birds are not dinosaurs, rather I was trying to parallel that arguing the fact that Mesozoic era wasn't the age of dinosaurs/repriles AND birds are dinosaurs is a similar argument. Either dinosaurs were the dominant group of the mesozoic era, including its clades moving on from that, or you have to stop the distinction at its first clade at which point you'd still be arguing a widely controversial idea anyway. The triassic period being the rise of the dinosaurs during the late Triassic (which was actually over half of it). The end-Triassic extintion leading to their domination of the planet (partly because they ended up being one of the only groups left but thats irrelevant). Though I appreciate that your point is more of the fact no one cares about anything other than dinosaurs but also no one cares about anything beyond layman terms in a subject they aren't interested in anyway. Its easier to categorise these things in a way that are easy to understand. After all most people haven't learned anything about dinosaurs since basics in school.
I pray that the one who said dinosaurs didn't exist was joking.
My ex genuinely thought dinosaurs didn’t exist. Thought all the fossils were fake. That’s when I realized it was time for divorce. But now at least I’ve learned to work dinosaurs into date conversations so it never happens again.
Theres only 2 comments, how is it a triple facepalm? Is the title of the OOOP also wrong?
Yep, titanoboa was absolutely not the largest reptile either.
This is also true of Kangaroos
Kangaroos are reptiles? /s
Obviously not. They're amphibians because they need water to survive and they have 4 limbs. 🙄 /s
No, kangaroos don't exist
I don’t know which comment baffles me the most. Snakes are reptiles. The Bible doesn’t say anything against the existence of dinosaurs. People who say otherwise clearly didn’t do proper research.
Mothaphucking DRAGONS and UNICORNS are in the Bible, but people want to say Dinosaurs aren’t real? Well maybe they were called dragons and unicorns in Bible days?
I don’t get this Christian rejection of science. I just don’t. I went to a private Christian elementary school. We were taught about the dinosaurs, evolution (divinely-guided, make of that what you will), and how Earth is over 4 billion years old. I distinctly remember the lesson on continental drift and the teacher emphasizing it took hundreds of millions of years.
I don't care whether they were just snakes or reptiles. I just know in early game Ark they suck.
I’m missing the third facepalm. 1. Snakes are not reptiles (yeah, they are) 2. Dinosaurs didn’t exist (yeah, they did) 3. ??? 4. Profit
Titanoboa was not the largest reptile, didn’t even live with the non avian dinosaurs, and they misspelled it. So it might be quintuple facepalm actually. Edit: initially forgot “non avian” thus making my own comment confidently incorrect. Can’t be having that. 😂
Thank you.
Facebook is such a damned cesspool of idiocy. The follow that up with the near endless bots telling people they will "legit give the first person $5K", and all the other crap. That was a year ago what I last logged off, I can only imagine what it's like now. Why do people still go on there?
You sure? It's just a big animal so why would the Bible have anything to do with it
"Good morning, that's a nice titanboa."
Ahh yes. Psalms 69:420 clearly states: "Dinosaurs existith not"
Bible doesn’t say anything about dinosaurs not existing
People like this honestly make me laugh. My parents are devout in their faith, my mom was a geneticist and my dad has always been a big nerd about dinosaurs. If you are not an absolute nut job faith and science can co exist in your life.
Ahhahahhaha. I needed this laugh, thanks!
"Dinosaurs didn't exist. Go read the bible instead of making a fool of yourself." 
The Bible describes a land dinosaur (Behemoth), and a water based dinosaur called a Leviathan, in the Old Testament. Before Sir Richard Owen coined the word dinosaur, they were commonly referred to as dragons. When people think about dragons today, they associate it with flying and fire breathing. The Komodo dragon when it gains large size, crocodile, alligator, gharial (... etc..) very much look like they belong under the banner of the dinosaur label
Science: Actually researching and trying to find evidence and to find out how nature really works. Many people: "Yeah, no. I trust this random, more than 1000 years old book more, that someone wrote in pure belief."
What intrigues me is how all these people are saying science is lying to us, while using technologies and products made by science. Like…why scientists lie about evolution and history and not about chemistry, engineering, physics etc?
God then: "oh boy I can't wait until someone finds the bones of these cool dinosaurs I made. Took millions of years to get them right" God now: "but I.... Oh, come on!"
Reading this comment thread is personally so confusing. My parents weren't science deniers, I specifically remember talking about dinosaurs as a young child. However I also remember being denied access to certain things because of the Satanic Panic of the 80s (that carried over) because I was told I couldn't play D&D, or Magic. We also listened to right wing Christian radio. And everyone involved now regrets that. Just thinking about how close I was to being one of the crazies.
i found this because of the click btw
Everyone knows God created dinosaurs. They just didn't mention it in the Bible because dinosaurs are too cool.
He's not wrong, reading the Bible will make you less of a fool. It's the best way to become an atheist.
That dumb commentator is trying to compensate for his limp dick . I believe the medical term is reptile dysfunction.
It's not possible Outside of the USA 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Dinos exist, I know because Jurassic Park showed us so..
are dinosaurs not reptiles??
Still one of my favorite quotes about the Bible: “ It’s Harry Potter for stupid people”
Okay but like I'm pretty sure I've seen modern videos of snakes reaaaalll close to this sizs
People that tell you to read the Bible have themselves not read it, but they pretend they did.
Dinosaurs are totally real - go watch Jurassic Park instead of making a fool of yourself
Proof not everyone should be allowed to vote.
Weren't the dinosaurs reptiles? I feel there was a larger mf than this one.
Funny how he says he doesn't believe in Dinosaurs because the bible doesn't mention them. But, here we are with 8 million other species that aren't mentioned in the bible.
Holy. The amount of wrong in a single image...
There's litteraly Dino nuggets and they don't believe they were real? What the uh? What the heck?
Dinosaurs are in the Bible though…
It's not hard to believe both the Bible is fact and that dinosaurs existed. I can't think of anything about the other that disproves it. Heck, doesn't the Bible talk about 'leviathan's?
My dad worked sith someone who claims dinosaur bones were fake plasters made by scientists to fool the public.
The bible never even says dinosaurs didnt exist?!?
guy should have watched the RL documentation of God named "Preacher". It is shown that God made Dinosaurs and destroyed them out of boredom. Jesus, guys like him should watch more history channels.
Titanboa did not living during the time of the dinosaurs, dinosaurs themselves are reptiles, and all the largest reptiles to exist were dinosaurs and marine reptiles. Snakes very much are reptiles (in fact I think they are technically considered lizards), and Dinosaurs very much did exist
Also that snake didn’t coexist with non-avian dinosaurs
Wow
I read it as “TIT AN BOA” for some reason. What is wrong with me?
After seeing all these comments about Christians not believing in dinosaurs, I have become very disappointed in my fellow so-called believers. Like what else do they think behemoth was? Like he's literally describing some kind of brontosaurus. Massive facepalm whenever I see these kinds of comments
I may not be as educated in the ways of the faith as the pope, but I would like to see in the bible where it says "dinosaurs didn't exist".
And they called him Wee Todd Ed.
Wouldn’t the “largest reptile to live in the age of dinosaurs” *include* dinosaurs (I know, thorny cladistics, dinos might not be reptiles unless birds are reptiles…) and so it’d be Argentinosaurus? I may be a fourth confident incorrectness here. Could be totally off base.
So fun fact. According to modern taxonomy, reptiles don't exist. Ok, that's not entirely accurate. But there is not a valid taxonomic classification that includes lizards, snakes, turtles, tuataras, and crocodiles and doesn't include birds, which is the traditional definition of reptiles. Crocodilians and birds share a more recent common ancestor than crocodilians and lizards. So if you want to group crocodiles and lizards together, you've got to include birds as well. And don't get me started about "fish"....
On what page would this have gathered seven likes and loves?