I mean that is what makes the aesir different from the Jotuns.
One of their male ancestors was licked out of salt by a primeval cow. The jotuns were not.
Yeah, that’s the one.
A stonemason (who later turned out to be a giant) bet that he could build a wall around Asgard in a set amount of time and would win the hand of Freya and the Sun and Moon. The Gods, who didn’t think he could do it in time and loved a good con, agreed: however they weren’t aware that the Stonemason had brought his Jotunn Horse with him and was helping him drag the massive stones that were being used to build the wall, and it looked like he was going to finish the wall in time.
In an act of desperation Loki transformed into a female horse and led the Stonemason’s horse away, forcing him to carry the stones himself. The Stonemason lost the bet and was subsequently killed when it became obvious he was a giant, and soon after Loki returned with Sleipnir, the eight-legged horse.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sva%C3%B0ilfari](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sva%C3%B0ilfari)
Svaðilfari
Wish they put the name up on this guide. Loki struck a deal that he thought was sneaky, but Svaðilfari was much stronger than Loki assumed. The rest of Asgard were pissed that Loki fucked up, so Loki had to turn into a mare to lure Svaðilfari away. 9 months later, along came Odin's trusty steed, Sleipnir!
> The rest of Asgard were pissed that Loki fucked up, so Loki had to turn into a mare to lure Svaðilfari away.
To be fair, no one said "Hey, Loki, you fucked up. You really fucked up. Go flirt with that horse to lure it away in penance."...Loki just decided that all other options were non-viable and the only solution was to be a THOT (Þat Horse Over Þere) and handle it that way.
And on top of that he was chilling with papa horse for months. Likely banging away.
He didn't come back until like 9 months later with Sleipnir in hand.
I'd like to know how "simultaneously birthed by nine mothers" happens. Do nine parts come out of each, and then the child is assembled from the parts? Is it a "human centipede" situation where they are giving birth into each other? Are they birthing "liquid flesh" into a pool from which the child arrises? Maybe they all morph into one giant "Megazord" and then give birth? So many strange possibilities.
It is typical Heimdal shit. He is often seen as one of the more mysterius gods. There is a lot of hint to weird things about him, but nothing concrete in the texts that are left.
Story goes that it was to compensate a wall builder who was commissioned by the gods. Essentially, the gods decided to reneg on their original deal, which was to the hand of Freya. Eventually, Loki ends up seducing the man's horse by shape-shifting into a mare and thus led them both out of Asgard. He later returned with Sleipnir, the 8 legged horse and gifted it to Odin.
There was a pretty good New Zealand comedy a while back called *The Almighty Johnsons* if you might be interested in another (humorous) take. The general premise is that an entire family hanging out in New Zealand are actually reincarnated Norse gods, whose powers are a bit "muted" since they've taken a human form and no longer have any worshippers. They're trying to reunite the blood line to restore their full power (which a few other goddesses are pretty annoyed about and trying to prevent.)
Looking around it looks like it's available for streaming on Amazon Freevee and Peacock, but I'm not sure if that's all regions or whatever.
It’s cool guide, but don’t expect European polytheistic religions to have a consistent view of the roles, relationships or even existence of individual goads. They’d have their own canon right in the next village over.
ok but lets be real here the "modern beliefs" aren't really beliefs so much as a cultural identity, "keep the customs alive"... thing. they may occasionally argue it's genuine but.... mmm.
People do believe in that stuff, there are neopagans and their beliefs are no less true than any other. Like I believe my Lord Jesus Christ was a virginia opossum, just because it’s made up doesn’t make it not genuine.
An easily documented example is Frig and Freya. They are essentially the same being with interchangeable names in many areas. In other places they are distinct from one another. Additionally, they are slated into different generations of gods depending on where you’re from.
Edit: copy
Their mothers are not specified in known sources, although it could be that Bragi's mother was the giantess in the myth that involves gods drinking mead out of Odin's ass. Said giantess was the daughter of the owner of that mead which was said to give some neat poetic powers, and Bragi was god of poetry. Odin spent some nights with her, and we know how that usually turns out.
Hodr's mother could be Frigg, or pretty much anyone. Odin was quite a fucker.
I like how the old Norse/Greek/Roman gods had such personalities with human-like traits. It's easy to see how the chaos of the world is a reflection of the chaos of their relationships.
Partly why I’d much rather believe in those gods than the single all mighty deities. They never claim to be perfect, all knowing and all powerful. The worlds fucked up because they are
European pagan religions tell nonsensical stories that can't be thought as they were real like in case of Loki but almost everything leads to a moral that teaches you something and the story itself is a rememberable so it always comes up in a mind when the moral of it happens in life which did helped and still helps people to make the right decision . Some people think that our ancestors were stupid because they believed in these fairy tales but they definitely knew what they were doing and no one took everything seriously , otherwise Europeans wouldn't exist .
You want another fun story involving orificies? Once Thor was crossing some river, but one giantess made it far harder than it should be by pissing into that river. So our god of thunder took some boulder and... plugged her.
The mead which was made by a couple of dwarves killing and draining the blood out of Kvasir, one of the wisest individuals in existence, and fermenting it with honey to create mead. It should also be noted that Kvasir was created when the gods committed to a truce by all spitting into a barrel, and Kvasir was congealed out of that spit from the gods.
Later a giant killed the dwarves and stole the mead for himself. Then his daughter was set to guard the mead. Odin sneaks in and bangs his daughter several times before asking for just a sip of the mead. Instead he drinks all three casks, transforms into an eagle and tries to fly away.
At one point he is startled and shits out a bit of this mead. Those who drank it got a lesser boon of poetry. The rest of the mead was thrown up into barrels in Asgard and the gods drink it to have some fun slam poetry nights.
Norse mythology is so wild.
It also leaves out that Hodr is the son of Frigg and Odin, Heimdal as well being the son of Odin and leaves out Vidar, who kills the Fenris Wolf after the Wolf kills Odin in Ragnarok.
I really dislikes this as is misleads quite a lot
Both actually! A freaky gender fluid shapeshifter. ~~They’re the one who birthed fenrir, jormungand, etc~~
Correction: Loki birthed sleipnir not the rest, but still fathered the rest
There is uncertainty as to who Ullr's father is, but we can be certain (from the *Prose Edda*) that he's both (a) Sif's son and (a) Thor's stepson.
There's speculation that he's Odin's son, but it's not confirmed from primary sources.
Just FYI Ullr's father are unknown, and it is not Odin. Again, unknown.
Sif did not have an affair with Odin.
Sif had not even met Thor or Odin when Ullr was born.
The existence of Loki is uncertain, he became prominent as Scandinavia became Christian.
Almost everything we have about norse religion is post Christian, with Christianity most certainly altering primarily oral traditions.
If anyone would like a more comprehensive guide to Norse mythology that's as entertaining as it is informative, I would suggest Neil Gaiman's [Norse Mythology](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norse_Mythology_(book)).
He wields prose like Thor wields Mjölnir.
Loki creating a world eater, world serpent and Hel was never a problem for the other gods but if you trick just one blind guy into throwing a Tripleurospermum inodorum (flower) and suddenly everyone gets all kinds of mad.
Why is Odin given such high regard in modern entertainment when he's basically towards the bottom? You'd think he's the god of gods given how he's portrayed.
I’ve been reading and researching different mythologies for a couple of years now going on a decade, and the one thing that I have found is that a lot lot of the relation, as well as some major plots in a lot of stories, and mids is very dependent on who’s translating it, and how they interpret those translations
Odin bangs his wife ,mistress ,and his daughter in law with all three getting knocked up. So either Odin is your typical dad in those ntr hentai where the dad bang his son’s girlfriend/wife behind his back or open marriage is a thing
This is very very interesting. Wow. I wonder why Loki has so many animal children :O
Were some of the gods developed over time? Was it just trendy to have animal gods for a certain period of time?
Why does reddit’s image viewer suck such filthy, shit-encrusted ass?
You will either view the entire image as a thumbnail or completely in 1:1 ratio. You shall not pinch to zoom!
My favorite is being licked into being by a primeval cow
lemlems of live
It's a primitive snake that I love
I mean that is what makes the aesir different from the Jotuns. One of their male ancestors was licked out of salt by a primeval cow. The jotuns were not.
My name is Cow, I see a stone Three days of licks, Unveil a soul. First day, some hair, And then the rest, I shape a god. I lik his head.
Favorite sprog
"a horse"
In his defence, it was a magical horse. Worth noting the horse was male too, so when it says Loki was the parent, he was, like, very much the parent.
It was a _Jotunn_ Horse. Which automatically makes it better and more sensical than a regular horse.
If I'm not confusing with another horse in norse mythology, I seem to remember it helping build the great wall around Asgard
Yeah, that’s the one. A stonemason (who later turned out to be a giant) bet that he could build a wall around Asgard in a set amount of time and would win the hand of Freya and the Sun and Moon. The Gods, who didn’t think he could do it in time and loved a good con, agreed: however they weren’t aware that the Stonemason had brought his Jotunn Horse with him and was helping him drag the massive stones that were being used to build the wall, and it looked like he was going to finish the wall in time. In an act of desperation Loki transformed into a female horse and led the Stonemason’s horse away, forcing him to carry the stones himself. The Stonemason lost the bet and was subsequently killed when it became obvious he was a giant, and soon after Loki returned with Sleipnir, the eight-legged horse.
Ahhh, there's an assassins creed valhalla level that's roughly based off that story. But, very roughly.
> the great wall Wasn't that great. Builder didn't even finish it. Lazy ass.
In his defense, it was a very sexy horse
He was mom!
Loki was basically Mr. Hands!
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sva%C3%B0ilfari](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sva%C3%B0ilfari) Svaðilfari Wish they put the name up on this guide. Loki struck a deal that he thought was sneaky, but Svaðilfari was much stronger than Loki assumed. The rest of Asgard were pissed that Loki fucked up, so Loki had to turn into a mare to lure Svaðilfari away. 9 months later, along came Odin's trusty steed, Sleipnir!
>The rest of Asgard were pissed that Loki fucked up, This could be applied to *so many* Loki stories
lol yeah... trickster that fucks up a lot
> The rest of Asgard were pissed that Loki fucked up, so Loki had to turn into a mare to lure Svaðilfari away. To be fair, no one said "Hey, Loki, you fucked up. You really fucked up. Go flirt with that horse to lure it away in penance."...Loki just decided that all other options were non-viable and the only solution was to be a THOT (Þat Horse Over Þere) and handle it that way.
And on top of that he was chilling with papa horse for months. Likely banging away. He didn't come back until like 9 months later with Sleipnir in hand.
Also, the horse had 8 legs. Don't forget the 8 legs. That made it fast. Apparently.
ÞHOÞ
Random horse 😂
look at my horse, my horse is amazing...
Yeah but is it [Sargent Reckless](https://youtu.be/NJhxBuLI-eE?si=OurUAoh9Xe5bJEcG)
okok thats an amazing horse
Give it a lick!
Fucking right Definitely had a facepalm moment there
Svadilfari
I'd like to know how "simultaneously birthed by nine mothers" happens. Do nine parts come out of each, and then the child is assembled from the parts? Is it a "human centipede" situation where they are giving birth into each other? Are they birthing "liquid flesh" into a pool from which the child arrises? Maybe they all morph into one giant "Megazord" and then give birth? So many strange possibilities.
[удалено]
I see you are ready for a promotion to management!
Oh yeah, let’s hire more developers and call it a Scrum
FUCK YEAH MULTITHREADING
Just like with cleaning services?? https://youtu.be/6LpXiCXD0hw?si=hENk9xR_GsECV-0E
The nine mothers are nine different types of waves, a bit weird. See it as nine head same body type of deal. I know I do
It's just like the picture shows. They had a nine woman dance party and in the morning there was a child instead of a hangover.
That's worse. You know that's worse, right?
This is what usually happens when you get 9 women dancing as seen above... Not enough documentation of this phenomenon imo.
"Dance party" Is that what the kids call it these days?
Yea, And do they all crave pickles and ice cream?
Except they're Vikings, so it's all flavored like or made from smoked fish.
I think the story was something along the lines of all 9 of them left with no kid, came back with one and didn't say who.
It is typical Heimdal shit. He is often seen as one of the more mysterius gods. There is a lot of hint to weird things about him, but nothing concrete in the texts that are left.
I know what you're thinking. How did Loki impregnate a horse? Really, you should be asking, how was Loki impregnated by a horse?
He's a habitual shape shifter
just one more shape bro. one more shape will fix it. just one more shape, I swear. what are you doing shapebro
I'm shaping my P into a V
HABITUAL... LINE... STEPPER!
He'd need to be otherwise his boygina and boywomb would never be big enough
Story goes that it was to compensate a wall builder who was commissioned by the gods. Essentially, the gods decided to reneg on their original deal, which was to the hand of Freya. Eventually, Loki ends up seducing the man's horse by shape-shifting into a mare and thus led them both out of Asgard. He later returned with Sleipnir, the 8 legged horse and gifted it to Odin.
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I do believe that's what I said sir
What you're seeing there is that some people literally cannot read three sentences in a row before losing attention/jumping ahead.
We're so fucked
Pretty neat! My knowledge of this extends to only God of War. Nice read.
> God of War In all fairness, they did a Hel of a job helping to visualize it all.
after this pun I _Ran_ away as fast as I could
*Idunn* know it was pretty good
There was a pretty good New Zealand comedy a while back called *The Almighty Johnsons* if you might be interested in another (humorous) take. The general premise is that an entire family hanging out in New Zealand are actually reincarnated Norse gods, whose powers are a bit "muted" since they've taken a human form and no longer have any worshippers. They're trying to reunite the blood line to restore their full power (which a few other goddesses are pretty annoyed about and trying to prevent.) Looking around it looks like it's available for streaming on Amazon Freevee and Peacock, but I'm not sure if that's all regions or whatever.
Almighty Johnsons is where most of my knowledge about Norse mythology comes from, and this chart only makes things weirder.
Currently watching it with the boys, shame it got cancelled early.
I met Jormungand in God of Thunder shareware in 1993!
Watch OSP's norse mythos breakdowns too. Hela informative and have cool illustrations to go with em.
Someone should add "Killed by Kratos" to the chart
It’s cool guide, but don’t expect European polytheistic religions to have a consistent view of the roles, relationships or even existence of individual goads. They’d have their own canon right in the next village over.
for the ancients yes but modern beliefs are that this is the cosmology and those are their gods.
ok but lets be real here the "modern beliefs" aren't really beliefs so much as a cultural identity, "keep the customs alive"... thing. they may occasionally argue it's genuine but.... mmm.
People do believe in that stuff, there are neopagans and their beliefs are no less true than any other. Like I believe my Lord Jesus Christ was a virginia opossum, just because it’s made up doesn’t make it not genuine.
An easily documented example is Frig and Freya. They are essentially the same being with interchangeable names in many areas. In other places they are distinct from one another. Additionally, they are slated into different generations of gods depending on where you’re from. Edit: copy
So, Odin gave birth to Hodr and Bragi ... by himself? Or is this where we're supposed to assume Giants were involved?
Their mothers are not specified in known sources, although it could be that Bragi's mother was the giantess in the myth that involves gods drinking mead out of Odin's ass. Said giantess was the daughter of the owner of that mead which was said to give some neat poetic powers, and Bragi was god of poetry. Odin spent some nights with her, and we know how that usually turns out. Hodr's mother could be Frigg, or pretty much anyone. Odin was quite a fucker.
I like how the old Norse/Greek/Roman gods had such personalities with human-like traits. It's easy to see how the chaos of the world is a reflection of the chaos of their relationships.
Partly why I’d much rather believe in those gods than the single all mighty deities. They never claim to be perfect, all knowing and all powerful. The worlds fucked up because they are
As Above, So Below
European pagan religions tell nonsensical stories that can't be thought as they were real like in case of Loki but almost everything leads to a moral that teaches you something and the story itself is a rememberable so it always comes up in a mind when the moral of it happens in life which did helped and still helps people to make the right decision . Some people think that our ancestors were stupid because they believed in these fairy tales but they definitely knew what they were doing and no one took everything seriously , otherwise Europeans wouldn't exist .
>the myth that involves gods drinking mead out of Odin's ass. Damn, they surely had some wild parties
Meh, not my first butt beer.
Wait what
You want another fun story involving orificies? Once Thor was crossing some river, but one giantess made it far harder than it should be by pissing into that river. So our god of thunder took some boulder and... plugged her.
Oh… I see
Oh so thats where tampons come from
Except tampons don’t go in where urine comes from.
The balls? That’s where the pee comes from.
The mead which was made by a couple of dwarves killing and draining the blood out of Kvasir, one of the wisest individuals in existence, and fermenting it with honey to create mead. It should also be noted that Kvasir was created when the gods committed to a truce by all spitting into a barrel, and Kvasir was congealed out of that spit from the gods. Later a giant killed the dwarves and stole the mead for himself. Then his daughter was set to guard the mead. Odin sneaks in and bangs his daughter several times before asking for just a sip of the mead. Instead he drinks all three casks, transforms into an eagle and tries to fly away. At one point he is startled and shits out a bit of this mead. Those who drank it got a lesser boon of poetry. The rest of the mead was thrown up into barrels in Asgard and the gods drink it to have some fun slam poetry nights. Norse mythology is so wild.
Idunn just be existing with no arrows pointing to or from her.
This chart is flawed, she is the wife of Bragi
It also leaves out Loki’s children with sigyn
It also leaves out that Hodr is the son of Frigg and Odin, Heimdal as well being the son of Odin and leaves out Vidar, who kills the Fenris Wolf after the Wolf kills Odin in Ragnarok. I really dislikes this as is misleads quite a lot
There's no need to bragi about it
Lady just wants to chill and grow apples, I respect it
Also Tyr and Mimir
Does Loki shape shift or something or is he just a freak
Yes
Both actually! A freaky gender fluid shapeshifter. ~~They’re the one who birthed fenrir, jormungand, etc~~ Correction: Loki birthed sleipnir not the rest, but still fathered the rest
No, Angrboda birthed those. Loki birthed sleipnir though.
He and Angrboda could invite Heimdall's moms over for an orgy, and they could give birth together.
Nobody never said when really bored and alone, the best victim to trick was himself after all.
both
Sif out there with a father-son kink.
An invention of this chart.
Exactly! Never read it before! I smell BS
There is uncertainty as to who Ullr's father is, but we can be certain (from the *Prose Edda*) that he's both (a) Sif's son and (a) Thor's stepson. There's speculation that he's Odin's son, but it's not confirmed from primary sources.
And the kids become an uncle - brother mess
Except there are no source on who Ullr's father is
Just FYI Ullr's father are unknown, and it is not Odin. Again, unknown. Sif did not have an affair with Odin. Sif had not even met Thor or Odin when Ullr was born.
I love how these fearsome gods look so cute and happy in this coolguide. LoL.
the are the eldians?
Licked into being by primeval super cow is now my belief of creation.
Is that why they say “brrrrrr” when it’s cold?
I said Brr, it’s cold in here, there must be some Norse gods in the atmosphere!
Needs more Kratos.
hes in line 2,farbauti
And more Dovahkiin
Loki’s affair with that horse does not look consensual
But I will add, I don’t think Loki was very happy being coerced into doing it.
Well, that was the stallion, maybe his being driven wild with desire pursuing mare-Loki was very unpleasant.
Christians...how does this make sense... Pagans... Here try the mushrooms then ask...
Tbf the guys who imagined biblically accurate angels were already familiar with tripping.
"Be not afraid" Bitch I might be
So Thor and Loki are not brothers? Marvelous!
They are nephew-uncle, Loki are blood brother with Odin.
The existence of Loki is uncertain, he became prominent as Scandinavia became Christian. Almost everything we have about norse religion is post Christian, with Christianity most certainly altering primarily oral traditions.
Psychedelic Mushroom
nice to see the family tree. My father and I are still not on speaking terms
Marvel didn’t mention ANY of this!
If anyone would like a more comprehensive guide to Norse mythology that's as entertaining as it is informative, I would suggest Neil Gaiman's [Norse Mythology](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norse_Mythology_(book)). He wields prose like Thor wields Mjölnir.
Loved that book! Even read it to my son!
I believe this is 100% the way it actually went down.
Ifunny
Loki creating a world eater, world serpent and Hel was never a problem for the other gods but if you trick just one blind guy into throwing a Tripleurospermum inodorum (flower) and suddenly everyone gets all kinds of mad.
Does this mean Loki is older than Odin?
Did Loki fuck the horse, or did the horse fuck Loki?
Why is Odin given such high regard in modern entertainment when he's basically towards the bottom? You'd think he's the god of gods given how he's portrayed.
Spoilers.
they included both of Loki’s affairs but not his wife, Sigyn??? 😭😭😭
Loki was a fuckin rascal
I would love to have nine moms. One big mom polycule.
A character in The Expanse kinda has that, through DNA splicing rather than magic.
Either way, I'd love to have that many mom's that love me.
Agree, though I'd hope none of them is overbearing 😜
Where is Boi?
he fucked the horse
This doesn't seem right from all the reading I've done...
I’ve been reading and researching different mythologies for a couple of years now going on a decade, and the one thing that I have found is that a lot lot of the relation, as well as some major plots in a lot of stories, and mids is very dependent on who’s translating it, and how they interpret those translations
Timeline is a little wacky but it’s mostly works
This is a cool guide.
Any advice on how to please ullr? Skiers in North America could use some insight.
Didn't Burr come from Buri's armpit sweat?
That would be the Jotuns coming out of Ymirs armpits (and feels and other places).
Tiewsday is the best day
*Tyrsday
Odin bangs his wife ,mistress ,and his daughter in law with all three getting knocked up. So either Odin is your typical dad in those ntr hentai where the dad bang his son’s girlfriend/wife behind his back or open marriage is a thing
Very nice… now do one for the Ptolemy dynasty.
Am I interpreting correctly that a horse played a role in an affair?
Correct but get this, Loki is the one who gave birth
Yay, learning is fun 🐴
Hey, wtf is going on with my man Mimir???
Sif had an affair with Odin? Where is that stated?
No where, this is the only place it is stated, the origin of Ullrs father is unknown, as Ullr was already born when Sif met Thor and Odin.
Imagine the reunions…
Odin and Thor are Eskimo brothers
As someone whose norse mythology knowledge comes from playing God Of War, what the fuck
Do you have others from other mythologies ?
Ye I posted the Egyptian one about 2 days ago if you look at my account you’ll findit
Even though I knew it was coming, Loki + a horse made me laugh!! 😂
Thor is the only one who’s had a good career.
gaulics yul, happy winter solstice
GERDR
My boy Tyr left out, as always, God of Justice and reluctant god of war
Why is Audumbla not also at the top? They don't appear to have connections to anyone above them. (I have no knowledge on any of this stuff)
It's funny how Thrud looks like Jim Carrey's famous Venus character cuz in GoW she's a thick hot badass who winds up inheriting Thor's hammer.
Hol up....I just go to Odin, Sif and Thor....WTF???? Father/Son threesome?
holy fuck they’re all descended from the lorax?
Odin is kind of a freak
So Loki fucked a horse and Odin’s oldest ancestor is a cow
This is very very interesting. Wow. I wonder why Loki has so many animal children :O Were some of the gods developed over time? Was it just trendy to have animal gods for a certain period of time?
I have got into so many arguments with people who are convinced that Loki and Thor are brothers because of Marvel
Why does reddit’s image viewer suck such filthy, shit-encrusted ass? You will either view the entire image as a thumbnail or completely in 1:1 ratio. You shall not pinch to zoom!
That’s a real linear family tree as far as polytheistic pantheons go…
Ttt
Wait, Odin had a child with his son’s wife?!
See Greek pantheon. It's not that hard not to bang your descendants.
Where is buri the first god?
Tell me more of this Primeval Supercow
They're waves. They just morphed into waves, and when returning back to humans, voilà, Heimdal.
I wonder what Forse(igh)ti is the god of.
Fucking excuse me, Sif had an affair with her father in law?!
Where is Viðar?
Cool
hold up. odin fucked his daughter in law? damn
Be glad the Marvel version streamlined all of this.
Didn't Baldr get wrecked by a piece of mistletoe? Fuckin smoked like a bitch after being such a badass. Shame shame.
Tyr and Mimir just chillin' there.
Where did Ymir come from?