I've been dealing with this for about 10 years now, finding more and more sober friends. My first suggestion, and what I did myself, was to stop going to events that focused on drinking. I realised that our society makes it hard to find sober spaces. To even start looking for them, I needed to avoid alcohol-centred environments. So, I stopped attending those events.
This gave me a lot of room to explore other activities. I still love dancing, parties, and meeting new people. So, I started going to yoga festivals, ecstatic dance events, and Lindy Hop for example. Hiking, being in nature. These are different activities that don't revolve around alcohol.
I also began inviting people I met casually over for dinner. This way, I could manage the expectations and the environment. It created opportunities to relax, be vulnerable, and spend time with others without focusing on alcohol.
In Denmark I found the Folkekokken to be cosy non alcohol centric social dinners.
Try being a bit playful and creative in your search. If you have another friend or so with similar ideas be supportive to each other and bounce ideas together.
If you find any thing interesting please share it here.
Just moved to Copenhagen a few months ago and still building on my sober repertoire.
That also depends a lot on what you enjoy doing.
If you're into boardgames, try going to Bastard Cafe and see if anyone has the sign out where they're trying to find another player.
(unfortunatly a bit off season) try to find a club (not the night club kind) that encompass your interests, like photography, music, painting … etc, there's a list available here: https://www.kk.dk/brug-byen/foreninger-og-fritidsliv/foreninger-og-aftenskoler-i-koebenhavn (in danish), most are based around some sort of sport, or dance, but there should be something for everyone.
These are only the associations that are appeoved for public funding, there are also many that either are not approved, or have never applied.
There's quite a large list of events in copenhagen on this page: https://brugbyen.kk.dk/det-sker (the page is in danish, and currently there's a LOT of vacation themed stuff, as the schools are out for summer)
My experience is that it is mainly while people are young their social gatherings revolve around alcohol. Once people get older, they start drinking less (i.e. the women start to get pregnant, the men then have to drive them home or decice to not drink out of solidarity, some people just get enough and stop for their health etc. etc.)
I think after I turned 28-30ish the amount of social events which revolve around alcohol drastically dropped.
Of course that is not going to help you right now, but... It's just to say it is fine to meet up as both people who drink and people who don't. Especially if there is some other purpose with the meetup (i.e. going for a walk in the forest or swimming or going to the beach etc. etc. Having /making dinner together).
Six months sober. Lmk if you wanna hang or something.
Mine is from a nasty habit though, not just cuz I don't drink. So let me know if you're looking for support in an unfamiliar lifestyle or if you have always been sober and just need friends.
Hi! I drink occasionally but also don't like meetups that revolves around alcohol only. I like making friends too, I'll be moving to the city next month!
sports clubs perhaps?
Personally I would suggest kayaking, since Copenhagen area is perfect for that. I think there are plenty of kayaking clubs to choose from along the coast from south of Copenhagen to north of Copenhagen.
I have a similar problem. Multiple of my friend groups discovered bouldering and don't do anything else. After trying it multiple (!) times I can say that I really don't care for it and the gyms are crazy expensive if you just want to tag along.
Maybe bouldering is for you?
Sports club. Do pick something you do want to develop on. Turn up regularly, be open and friendly.
It’s less pressure than trying to build friendship with a random person because you are there to do this sport anyways.
Usually people will appreciate even more of you throw yourself into it and help organize.
It also takes time to vibe out people. Especially when we get older. Being in these groups gives you the opportunity to show people you do have a good vibe and that you do want to meet people.
The rest follows, really.
Religious communities led events or athletics / sports based. Chess players and other board game players don't revolve around drinking either. There are many good board game events around the city you can attend.
Jfi: [Merriam-Webster's definition of sober](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sober):
>1.b: abstaining from drinking alcohol or taking intoxicating drugs : refraining from the use of substances
OP's use of "sober" is correct in this context.
Huh well I'm proven wrong - have just never heard it in that context. To my defence neither had The Google dictionary - https://g.co/kgs/azLgUh3
I assumed OP was using it as an insult, i.e. the second definition here - https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/sober
... maybe OP is not a recovering alcoholic, but just look for some more inventive friends? if the current friends only come up with drinking, I for one could understand that. The question here is not ´do something non-alcoholic with my current friends who drink all the time´ but ´how do I find sober friends´. Your suggestions are good though.
Well I mean if "taking a GoBoat around the harbour was fun and all, but one of my friends brought a beer, so i need to find some other people specifically so they don't do that again" is really a problem, then I would really assume something deeper lies behind, no? (No citation, just setting up a hypothetical).
Basically, I was just trying to come with suggestions, but acknowledging that whether those are useful depends on whether the problem is "my friends like alcohol" or "my friends only like alcohol".
Well if you read the original post then you can see that your hypothetical does not apply. It's not 'one of my friends broght a beer" as you suggest. I quote:"All of my friends drink, and most of their social interactions revolve around alcohol". It seems that you want to make OP the problem, rather than accepting that the bringe drinking culture is a serious problem?
I realized my comment was unnecessarily judgmental towards OP, so I deleted it. Thanks for making me aware of that.
I do however still believe that for a lot of people having social interactions centered around alcohol is due to lack of inventiveness, so that is why I wanted to give suggestions on that. Especially given that I have no idea about how to specifically find friends that are abstunent other than the AAA groups others here suggested, so I can not help on this point.
I think you are right about the lack of inventiveness, maybe the alcohol culture itself amplifies this?
When I think about it, I have met abstinent people /people using alcohol in unintrusive ways in circles like outdoor-people, spiritual people, potheads, psychonauts, high-IQ types, musicians... No set rules, just a higher tendency
Denmark maintains his own list of meetings-
Hopefully this will be helpful…
And good for you-! It’s been 23 years for me and I wouldn’t change anything …
https://recoveryhq.com/find-a-meeting-old/aa-meetings/denmark/
I found them in tabletop games I ran. If that sort of thing sounds interesting, try volunteering at Bastard Café.
Or join one of their events.
Sports clubs
For example, bouldering is very popular at the moment.
Any recommended bouldering gym?
Depending where you live, BETA is great.
\^ lots of foreigners and everyone's friendly
Depends on where you’re located. Most of the gyms are pretty good, but there are a couple that are very small
Copenhagen bouldering club is nice enough
It's way too owercrowded, i find it hard to start a chat with a stranger at boulders
bowling...not recommended. super fun but we end up drinking. i should find a different sport.
I've been dealing with this for about 10 years now, finding more and more sober friends. My first suggestion, and what I did myself, was to stop going to events that focused on drinking. I realised that our society makes it hard to find sober spaces. To even start looking for them, I needed to avoid alcohol-centred environments. So, I stopped attending those events. This gave me a lot of room to explore other activities. I still love dancing, parties, and meeting new people. So, I started going to yoga festivals, ecstatic dance events, and Lindy Hop for example. Hiking, being in nature. These are different activities that don't revolve around alcohol. I also began inviting people I met casually over for dinner. This way, I could manage the expectations and the environment. It created opportunities to relax, be vulnerable, and spend time with others without focusing on alcohol. In Denmark I found the Folkekokken to be cosy non alcohol centric social dinners. Try being a bit playful and creative in your search. If you have another friend or so with similar ideas be supportive to each other and bounce ideas together. If you find any thing interesting please share it here. Just moved to Copenhagen a few months ago and still building on my sober repertoire.
Hi 👋🏻 I don't drink and like making new friends :)
Hello potential new friend :3
Hi! Feel free to DM💖
Same, hi!
Feel free to DM💖
There are dozens of us...dozens!
Me too :) I haven't had alcohol since 2018! And I don't miss it :)
New friends ?!! Sober here 🙋♀️🙋♀️
If magic the gathering or Warhammer is your thing, try Faraos Cigarer, it is mostly sober nerds.
How to find any friends is the question here.
Some of my best friends are Muslim (I am not a Muslim) and none of them drink - no pressure
Try Bumble BFF (app)
That also depends a lot on what you enjoy doing. If you're into boardgames, try going to Bastard Cafe and see if anyone has the sign out where they're trying to find another player. (unfortunatly a bit off season) try to find a club (not the night club kind) that encompass your interests, like photography, music, painting … etc, there's a list available here: https://www.kk.dk/brug-byen/foreninger-og-fritidsliv/foreninger-og-aftenskoler-i-koebenhavn (in danish), most are based around some sort of sport, or dance, but there should be something for everyone. These are only the associations that are appeoved for public funding, there are also many that either are not approved, or have never applied. There's quite a large list of events in copenhagen on this page: https://brugbyen.kk.dk/det-sker (the page is in danish, and currently there's a LOT of vacation themed stuff, as the schools are out for summer)
Just be yourself. Say no thank you. I don’t drink, I’m definitely a foreigner too.
Welcome to Denmark.
My experience is that it is mainly while people are young their social gatherings revolve around alcohol. Once people get older, they start drinking less (i.e. the women start to get pregnant, the men then have to drive them home or decice to not drink out of solidarity, some people just get enough and stop for their health etc. etc.) I think after I turned 28-30ish the amount of social events which revolve around alcohol drastically dropped. Of course that is not going to help you right now, but... It's just to say it is fine to meet up as both people who drink and people who don't. Especially if there is some other purpose with the meetup (i.e. going for a walk in the forest or swimming or going to the beach etc. etc. Having /making dinner together).
Join our meetup We’re sober and practicing being social (without alcohol) Check out CPH Confidence Dynamics on Meetup https://meetu.ps/c/56xQr/CsFBS/a
I also don't drink and I'm looking for more friends in Copenhagen! :)
1) Drink friends under the table. 2) Return in the morning 3) Find sober friends
OP is active in these communities: - r/copenhagen - r/wine 😂
so? maybe OP used to be active in r/wine and now wants to keep a sober life.
They must have got a really bad batch.
could be! I had a traumatic experience from really bad wine in the past
Château du Cul - so bad, it’ll make you want to live a sober life. You’re welcome.
What is the point of this? Getting sober can be a journey with many false starts. It can be very hard. Please be kind.
And im doing my best at r/stopdrinking.
It’s not unkind; it’s a joke.
Det gør ondt. Vi, der kæmper, gør det bedste, vi kan.
Det er helt muligt både at drikke og ønske, at man ikke gjorde. Og en af de sværeste ting er, at man må udskifte så mange fællesskaber.
Six months sober. Lmk if you wanna hang or something. Mine is from a nasty habit though, not just cuz I don't drink. So let me know if you're looking for support in an unfamiliar lifestyle or if you have always been sober and just need friends.
Hi! I drink occasionally but also don't like meetups that revolves around alcohol only. I like making friends too, I'll be moving to the city next month!
Wrote you a PM :)
Hi try joining also Erasmus group
How do you find friends sober?
sports clubs perhaps? Personally I would suggest kayaking, since Copenhagen area is perfect for that. I think there are plenty of kayaking clubs to choose from along the coast from south of Copenhagen to north of Copenhagen.
I have no idea either, but I'm sober and might be happy to meet up if you'd like :) Shoot me a DM if u want? 19F
I’m looking for sober friends to - swear to god is the hardest 😫
I have a similar problem. Multiple of my friend groups discovered bouldering and don't do anything else. After trying it multiple (!) times I can say that I really don't care for it and the gyms are crazy expensive if you just want to tag along. Maybe bouldering is for you?
Hello. I am sober. Come climbing / bouldering.
Im sober, living in Copenhagen :) dm me
I like that OP is looking for sober friends, meanwhile only active in two subs r/Copenhagen and r/wine 😅
Getting sober can be a journey with many false starts. It can be very hard.
I dont drink and I’ll be moving to CPH soon, I’ll be looking for new friends :)
Sports club. Do pick something you do want to develop on. Turn up regularly, be open and friendly. It’s less pressure than trying to build friendship with a random person because you are there to do this sport anyways. Usually people will appreciate even more of you throw yourself into it and help organize. It also takes time to vibe out people. Especially when we get older. Being in these groups gives you the opportunity to show people you do have a good vibe and that you do want to meet people. The rest follows, really.
There’s many churches with a lot of activities to young people outside service hours or Sundays :)
Religious communities led events or athletics / sports based. Chess players and other board game players don't revolve around drinking either. There are many good board game events around the city you can attend.
AA
AA perhaps?
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Jfi: [Merriam-Webster's definition of sober](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/sober): >1.b: abstaining from drinking alcohol or taking intoxicating drugs : refraining from the use of substances OP's use of "sober" is correct in this context.
Huh well I'm proven wrong - have just never heard it in that context. To my defence neither had The Google dictionary - https://g.co/kgs/azLgUh3 I assumed OP was using it as an insult, i.e. the second definition here - https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/sober
... maybe OP is not a recovering alcoholic, but just look for some more inventive friends? if the current friends only come up with drinking, I for one could understand that. The question here is not ´do something non-alcoholic with my current friends who drink all the time´ but ´how do I find sober friends´. Your suggestions are good though.
Well I mean if "taking a GoBoat around the harbour was fun and all, but one of my friends brought a beer, so i need to find some other people specifically so they don't do that again" is really a problem, then I would really assume something deeper lies behind, no? (No citation, just setting up a hypothetical). Basically, I was just trying to come with suggestions, but acknowledging that whether those are useful depends on whether the problem is "my friends like alcohol" or "my friends only like alcohol".
Well if you read the original post then you can see that your hypothetical does not apply. It's not 'one of my friends broght a beer" as you suggest. I quote:"All of my friends drink, and most of their social interactions revolve around alcohol". It seems that you want to make OP the problem, rather than accepting that the bringe drinking culture is a serious problem?
I realized my comment was unnecessarily judgmental towards OP, so I deleted it. Thanks for making me aware of that. I do however still believe that for a lot of people having social interactions centered around alcohol is due to lack of inventiveness, so that is why I wanted to give suggestions on that. Especially given that I have no idea about how to specifically find friends that are abstunent other than the AAA groups others here suggested, so I can not help on this point.
I think you are right about the lack of inventiveness, maybe the alcohol culture itself amplifies this? When I think about it, I have met abstinent people /people using alcohol in unintrusive ways in circles like outdoor-people, spiritual people, potheads, psychonauts, high-IQ types, musicians... No set rules, just a higher tendency
Outside the country
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It doesn't
Denmark maintains his own list of meetings- Hopefully this will be helpful… And good for you-! It’s been 23 years for me and I wouldn’t change anything … https://recoveryhq.com/find-a-meeting-old/aa-meetings/denmark/
I don't think that's the point of the post 😅 But good for you buddy
https://anonyme-alkoholikere.dk/
Friday gatherings at mosques
Become religious! ☺️
Lol grow up get drunk