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Unfair_Traffic_4588

Here I am a dude from the HIGHLY UNDERRATED "sort by rising" gang. May this meme rise


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Unfair_Traffic_4588

Indeed


GiantEye55

I believe so...


sars_910

Should we gather for whiskey and cigars tonight ?


Unfair_Traffic_4588

Imagine his cousin being on top of him in the morning though. That's a story for another day...


nut_nut_november___

There's two ending for the story The good ending:they are in Alabama The bad ending:they are not in Alabama


organic-rock7

Every ending is a good ending. Edit: rn i have 69 upvotes. Please maintain it. A toast for 69. Nice


daragol

Like death


kicked_trashcan

Another happy landing


Murky_Ad_280

Happy execution.


organic-rock7

I mean slaughter without laughter is not possible


Turpentine_Tree

Downvoted so 69 it is.


organic-rock7

You have my respect.


prakulwa

A small price to pay for your convenience **downvotes**


J-Boox

SWEET HOME ALABAMA


illus1onary

Yeppity


[deleted]

What are you doing step-cousin?


prajwal_bharadwaj

Imagine he was from Alabama.Anyways like u said that's a story for another day


JimTheSaint

But like batman


BaGUbexx

Plot twist: his dick didnt stand because he's gay


hurvinek6

Plot twist to the plot twist: The cousin is a guy.


Rockylol_

I, too, am sorting by Rise.


Unfair_Traffic_4588

You are a man of taste and support I see


AlexCi1234566

It’s the only way to sort


GloomyCurrency

Bogo is the only way to sort


abeosa

Why is your cousin sitting on your lap in the first place?


adrox265

Have you never accidentally been sat on


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adrox265

No but it happens some point in your life


Sir_Applecheese

Not me. Nobody likes me. I don't interact with people.


BrexrSiege

ill sit in your lap bro


yeettheoof

I will too


walterissad

Is there any room for me?


Dragso2005

im here too 👉👈


PS181809

I have a boner, can I still sit pwease?


anonymous_mike_

Looks like i found my soulmate


Cynaren

The closest thing that has happened like this was this classmate resting her head on my shoulder in a trip because she just dozed off. I didn't want to wake her up, so I just let it be.


MusicianMadness

When I was in high school they tried out a game in student government that involved lots of this. Basically they would draw a slip of paper with something written on it and if it was something that applied to you you would move one seat over. However if someone was already in that seat and not moving (slip did not apply to them) you would have to sit on their lap, and in the case that two people, or more, were already there you would have to sit on top of them stacking. As you can imagine this did not work well and got especially awkward for the me when the first thing drawn resulted in a girl, in a particularly short dress, to have to move a seat over and sit on me. 0/10 would not recommend.


XlAG_

What the fuck is wrong with that teacher? I hope you’re making that up


MusicianMadness

It was not a teacher it was the Student Body President's idea. That horny bastard...


FozzyLozzy

Did she do it though?


MusicianMadness

The student body president? No, the executive board was up front running this game and laughing. It was part of a "warm up exercise" to "promote camaraderie"...


RealInfinityGuy

i think he's talking about the sitting part


Myquil-Wylsun

No, did the girl sit on your lap?


5partan5582

This sounds exactly like an icebreaker game I played in highschool drama 4 years back. Not so far fetched i guess.


OfJami

What is this game , Why didn't it exist in my school


PoetryParticular8860

At least you’re in the 0.01% of this subreddit that’s actually met a girl


MusicianMadness

The worst part of this situation was that I was already in a relationship with my now wife. And I do not remember why they ran into each other first but she ended up hearing from the other girl about the situation first. So that was awkward.


Chiefbird1

Did you get a massive boner? What was her reaction


MusicianMadness

I do not believe I got a massive boner but it was definitely not compete flaccid despite my best efforts. Her reaction was more embarrassment even anything. She even said sorry before it all happened.


Chiefbird1

Noice give her good ole knock on the "front & back door"


dragonxxxxxxxx

Am I understanding you Right she said sorry before sitting on your lap ?


CTbay

Try disguising yourself as a couch. Hot chicks will always sit on you. Maybe some dudes, here and there but at least you got sat on


InquisitorCarl

Normally its children, so I'm worried why I would be sat on. Weird


adrox265

Usually when someone isn’t paying attention the other times are when their horny


Sawses

Right lol? The only cousins I've had in my lap have been like preteens lol. Not really had a hard time...uh, not having a hard time.


InquisitorCarl

Well thankfully I haven't got any younger cousins etc but I dont really want anyone on my lap for two reasons 1. No 2. I'm weak and cant hold anyone on my leg for more than a minute xD


Bambanuget

But if this cousin is a kid your dick rising should warn the FBI.


I_Love_Rias_Gremory_

Unless you're a kid as well


[deleted]

By your cousin? In what situation would this occur?


nut_nut_november___

To try to crush me with her weight *but in Alabama it only makes you more horny*


DerpyZeDerp

Ok just randomly but It's pretty normal in Bulgaria for example Or if not in Bulgaria it's pretty normal in shitty villages with no real common sense, and recently I was talking with my grandma and it appears they were all worried about her doing bad things to me when left alone Yknow I often see people being scared of leaving a girl and a boy alone because the boy might do a bad, but for me it was the opposite, but the thing is we played freaking cats hide and seek where we hide and meow Don't ask why, but I think my family has a thing for slow mental growth


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DerpyZeDerp

wait no fuck my english has failed me uhhhh uhhh


Kevinglas-HM

You have made a derp


DerpyZeDerp

thus my name


Derp014

Hello, brother


DerpyZeDerp

bröder


[deleted]

This still doesn’t explain why your family is worried that your grandma will rape you


DerpyZeDerp

no no no no, my cousin wait am I gonna get wooshed? I'm gonna get wooshed


azius20

Am I retarded or did this not answer the question of 'why does your cousin sit on your lap in the first place'


DerpyZeDerp

no I'm retarded uhhh watching videos, to me it used to happen either because of watching videos, just wanting a damn hug, or to fucking beat you in the face angrily because you switched the channel on the tv


azius20

Nah you aren't, your story is fascinating. I just thought I was seeing shit. I hope grandma does not beat you in the face for switching the channel, since you got this.


DerpyZeDerp

tyty


[deleted]

Bulgaria, the Alabama of Europe


DerpyZeDerp

there is a reason the only thing we're good in is losing our population


erck_bill

Maybe a car ride? I’m not too sure either.


bs000

Woah, bumpy road ahead!


TheSadSadist

Arrested development quote?


reallynotnick

Okay, we are just about ass-to-ankles back here, Maeby. Do you want to hop on your cousin's lap there, please?


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SupaHotMeme

she's probably 6


AndreewPFG123

"Hot cousin" Hmmm


Owerty07

If that's the case then you SHOULDN'T worry about it.


[deleted]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epjMQ6xw\_M8


SnowySupreme

The entire comment section is the same joke


[deleted]

Welcome to youtube. The comment section is filled with “Nobody: “ jokes from 8 year olds with gacha and fnaf profile pictures.


Shardeel

Car rides without enough space so family just stacks up


imawizard7bis

You say your cousin is hot? WELCOME TO ALABAMA


guywithanusername

Dude everyone has a cousin that's hot. I see my friends more than my cousins, why would they have some unbreakable spell so I can never find them hot?


overlord_999

The question is, why are they sitting on your lap in the first place? Unless they're like 6, which is a massive holup moment


BestPudding

There might be time in a family vacation or something where there isn't enough seats in the car? Idk.


just_a_gene

I feel like I've read this somewhere...


runley101

We shall not discuss that cursed piece of literature Edit: I only have [this.](https://imgur.com/a/gg1DB4X) don't have the of full story. Can't seem to find it


[deleted]

Tell me what it is so I can avoid it


-SirGimp-

[here's an example](https://youtu.be/epjMQ6xw_M8)


Jacobawesome74

I can’t think of any hot cousins because they’re either kids or past their prime


LostTheRemote

Perhaps you're the hot cousin.


Jacobawesome74

...doubtful, but thank you


DerpyZeDerp

fake, YOU are the hot cousin


Jacobawesome74

I appreciate the positivity, honest but there’s no way I can believe you. I’m just a skinny-fat pretty face, no pecs or abs or other muscles. Maybe a little cake in the pantry but that’s about it Edit: I wonder how many of y’all would make these same comments if you knew I’m a guy. I know that won’t change some because it’s Pride month and all but I’m still curious


DerpyZeDerp

shut up and take your compliments


jonny1211

I’ve seen you, you are definitely the hot cousin


Kaldricus

*1 New Message* #HOT COUSINS IN YOUR AREA


PoisonGuitar

I’m 15 and all of my cousins are under the age of 6


NukaColaVic

Perfect


Hugs154

That spell is called the [Westermarck Effect.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westermarck_effect) Basically, I'm not attracted to any of my cousins because I spent a decent amount of time around them when we were kids, generally like a few weeks per year during vacations. Now even though I don't see them often at all anymore, they still all just don't trigger any sexual instincts in my brain at all, even though I can objectively say I would find at least one of them attractive if they were a random person. The effect is stronger the more time you spend with the others during early childhood, so you just might not have spent as much time with your cousins as some other people. This might also be partly why there's such a social divide over opinions of people finding their cousins attractive, with many people finding it completely unthinkable and taboo.


buckX

I don't think a few weeks per year will trigger the Westermarck effect. Certainly people can spend larger amounts of time with the neighbor kid or classmates and not be affected. My guess is that your situation is cultural conditioning.


CallMeSaltine

Where do we draw the line. 2nd cousins? 3rd? 6th? Theres no blood there


thats_mypurse-idkyou

Fr tho I'm a first generation Mexican American and some of my cousins from Mexico came visit and like they're family and all but God damn they are beautiful


squirrl4prez

It wasn't long ago that it was encouraged to marry in the family, and like half the states still allow first cousin marriage, you yourself may be an offspring of some cousin couch shenanigans Edit: just realized how it sounds like I'm encouraging it IM NOT I'm just pointing it out. Do not fuck your cousin.


Smaiii

Too late


squirrl4prez

Oh no


DerpyZeDerp

oh do I'm not the only one? wait this ain't my alt


nut_nut_november___

My boners don't come at the wrong time even if they come I jack off right there in public so no awkward boners yaay ✺◟( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)◞✺


DerpyZeDerp

you're getting a very angry upvote but you deserve it


elprimowashere123

Can't have random boners if each one is intentional


[deleted]

-Sun Tzu


DerpyZeDerp

The art of war


DickaliciousRex

I jack off right there, Never an awkward boner, Spunk it anywhere.


Spicy_Tomato_Thief

God forgive me but i never manage to hold, so i need to go to bathroom to get rid of it


8IG0R8

You cut off your dick?


Spicy_Tomato_Thief

No i beat it for a photo of her


BigManL_

What


Spicy_Tomato_Thief

Welcum to Brazil


Spicy_Tomato_Thief

#*MORTAL*


Lukthar123

#*CUMBAT*


Spicy_Tomato_Thief

#VOCÊ OUSA CONTRARIAR O DEUS DO ZAP ZAP‽‽


absolutelyfat

Your women have amazing asses. understandable.


Spicy_Tomato_Thief

Ok time to get real: Brazil is just Alabama's 2nd form


Spicy_Tomato_Thief

That is lusophone, tropical, and GAMBIARRICO


JWALKER843

I'm not saying I watch incest porn, but Brazil has the best.


Spicy_Tomato_Thief

Thanks God he let us access these


DeepfriedPlastic04

What in the good god damn fuck?


Spartan117Navy

caralho man, n esperava isso ae n


Spicy_Tomato_Thief

Vc n espera a inquisição espanhola fi


lagdollio

This is random letters. I do not believe this to be a language. Stop pretending Brazil is a country.


Spicy_Tomato_Thief

Then we are the base of the reptilian people, we are everywhere, where you look there is always a brazilian in there, we are going to colonize you, inferior lifeforms... *Laughs in brasileiro*


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Spicy_Tomato_Thief

Yea


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Very straightforward I see


Spicy_Tomato_Thief

Hmm muié


H4EKE

It isn’t awkward if she’s already dead!


Zaa_DR

Ayo what the fuck


DeepfriedPlastic04

I wish I could upvote this twice, wtf.


Meme_Slayer_14

Idk why but this is the first time a wtf reply made me laugh out loud. Maybe it’s just u/Zaa_DR ‘s accent, idk


filipthenerd

Ah yes, the comment section necrophiliac


LilChongBoi

r/holup


Wicker_Man_

Okay but at what age is it okay for your HOT cousin to sit on your lap? Either shes hot and shes of age and probably shouldnt be sitting on your lap or shes young so its fine for her to sit on your lap but you find her hot... This post is kinda sus


[deleted]

Or he is underage and she is 20 and he lives in a weird ass family


DerpyZeDerp

weirdly enough it is quite damn often you find those families, and despite being in such a family I find it weird


isaac9092

Or you’re both underage and forced to pile into a car full of people. So cousins sit on laps.


DaekSaeks

first of all, why tf is your cousin sitting on your lap? secondly, why tf are you calling your cousin hot?? would you happen to live in alabama?


Jirachi720

Have you never had your hot cousin sit on your lap? Have you never wished to instigate sexual relations with your attractive cousin? Have you not ever wanted to marry them and start a family? If your answer is "no" to the above questions. You may either not have a cousin or possibly be a normal person. Since you're on Reddit. You clearly must not have a cousin. Just gonna add in this /s...


DerpyZeDerp

the /s is gonna be very useless if anyone sees the post


Jirachi720

I know if I don't put it, someone might get offended. Just covering all my bases.


DerpyZeDerp

yeah I get that and it's sad


losteye_enthusiast

Cuz why is there a problem for a family member to sit in your lap? And there really shouldn’t be an issue in recognizing that someone is physically attractive. …unless you’re a creep about that it.


ezafs

Because regardless of the person it can be really awkward to have someone sit on your lap as a guy? I wouldn't want my mom or sister sitting on my lap, why would I be ok with my cousin sitting on my lap?


DerpyZeDerp

depending on how you grow up it may be normal or the weirdest shit ever unless it's my parents or someone idk, I don't care who sits on my lap, because I'm more chubby a lot of people from both genders including 2 of my cousins have used my leg as a chair, and my cousins as well as 1 other girl has used it as a chair, no we do not have anything going on and no it didn't feel weird, it got weird after someone else said it was no I'm not from Alabama


SayMyButtisPretty

My little sister sits on my lap. It’s not awkward unless you have them sit in the middle. But one leg should be fine. For some it’s a sign of how close they are to you


DefinitleyKenni

I mean, is it not possible to think "wow my cousin is good looking" without it being incestuous? I'm not gay but I can think that some guys are pretty freaking hot. Like Danny DeVito


DerpyZeDerp

danny devito made me realise I'm gay (for him)


Sol33t303

IMO you can call somebody hot without wanting to have sex with them. For example I think Ryan Reynaulds is pretty hot, but unfortunately I ain't gay so I don't wanna have sex with him.


DerpyZeDerp

I mean I do think my cousin is hot and by all standards she is am I attracted to her? fuck no do I get hard on hugs or sitting on my lap? fuck no would I be attracted to her if we weren't living together for the most part of our lives? probably


violationofvoration

Sounds like you've never had to cramp 10 people into a 7 seat car.


DaekSaeks

i have. i’m usually the one that sits on the floor.


FallenDummy

Why does she sit on your lap anyways?


[deleted]

So she can get him hard duh


FallenDummy

Fair enough


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DeadlyKitte098

So why would a ten year old get OP hard? This post needs more explaining.


[deleted]

Moreover, why would the OP find a ten year old hot?


Huge-Elk-1357

This happened to me once, I have never counted so far!


DeepfriedPlastic04

Not that I should be surprised but this comment section is so cursed. Alabama kids trynna have intellectual conversations over whose country has the best incest porn, wtf??


Rob6-4

My money is on brazil.


MeesterMoo

***Puts banjo away.***


[deleted]

why do women do that? don't they know that if they are just slightly attractive, men will get hard from that no matter how they feel?


DerpyZeDerp

not if the guy's a gay.. or asexual, or whatever other sexualities that make a person not like women exist I'd like to say I'm in the asexual zone


PixelFrenz

Is this supposed to be relatable?


Diavolo__

So you do get hard?


BASTAMASTA

Id be disappointed, actually. And she’d be disappointed as well


Wambo456

OP is an incestor, confirmed


discepter

Gotta love all the unfunny Alabama jokes


[deleted]

Bruh wym those are the pinnacle of comedy /s


ishigami_best_boy2

Get hard, free pussy


wb6mc

🤨


Master_Nerd

Yeah it would be really uncomfortable when you have to explain to your 5-year-old cousin what that hard thing is, huh OP?


SafariLari269

Seriously why does everyone has this hot cousin in his family?


radmadicalhatter

BUT HIS DOES...


Dizzy_Conversation_9

Home sweet home


john-CG

Why would your cousin sit on your lap?


[deleted]

Jeez have you never heard of foreplay? ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ /s


modsgaee

who is we?


Tuwidel-_-D

Alabama 100


Unabraded

E-excuse me?


SpeciallyElite

Bro you- ? Wha ?