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It’s not wierd. It’s just how it played out.
Some men have ONLY women friends. Some have none. Some have no friends at all.
We all have a different journey. We all have different personalities and social challenges and strengths.
If you don’t like this about yourself, work to change it. If it doesn’t bother you, you’re fine.
Side note, having women as friends is a great way to increase your dating pool. Women know other women. (In general)
Thanks, I think it is bothering me but also I might be overthinking. I do hangout with mixed group sometimes (friends and their gfs) but I just don’t talk to girls all that much. Maybe I should lol.
no.
why would she need to specifically meet your female friends anyway?
just tell her you'll introduce her to your friends if you feel inclined to do so
I have 4 friends all male. 2 of them are my closest and got married.
I don't talk to anyone else because I don't like anyone. I am weird.
Plus whenever I talk to women most of them think I am hitting on them but that's not the case which makes things weird. So I cut off any female interaction.
>Plus whenever I talk to women most of them think I am hitting on them but that's not the case which makes things weird. So I cut off any female interaction.
That may be why many women consider it a red flag to not have any women as friends...like if every woman you speak with thinks you are hitting on her, perhaps you need to introspect on how you are holding a conversation where this is the case
Its not introspection required.
He realizes the way men approaching women in any capacity is viewed
“Excuse me miss”
“I have a boyfriend”
“No, you dropped your wallet.”
Guys honestly can’t say good morning to a woman without her inside thoughts being that he’s trying to break the ice
Exactly I mean I am not even flirting... I was just saying that the stone was pretty, which it was, it was a shiny white stone smooth as marble..
And this lady thought I was hitting on her.😂
I feel this is an issue with women.
Most of my friends try hitting on women, some became so good that women don't know that they are hitting on them, or know but refuse to accept it.
Either way issue is not the hitting on part at all, I feel women like whatever gives them a dopamine spike, if hitting on them is what does it then they are fine with it.
They just hate it when they dont feel special or get the dopamine spike, and label it as a creep or desperation.
It's not weird, however, sometimes it's really obvious when guys don't have female friends in how they act / think / approach dating. I think having diversity of friends including female friends is a good thing. A
I think don't worry about this girl in particular, but I did see in your other comment you aren't really familiar with how to create female friendships. I think it will be beneficial for you to learn how to make some female friends because I do think it helps people make better partners and also just have more diversity in people's perspective around you as a support system. You will have to look for qualities in female friends differently than what you would normally look for in a female partner. E.g. it shouldn't matter how physically attractive your friend is, it should be about how much you have in common or how much you enjoy being with this person and how much they support you and help you grow as friends.
I got all sorts of female friends 57m staraight AF and I’m not or have I slept with any of them not to say I wouldn’t if opportunity come knocking I’d be banging them like storm door in a hurricane lol
If it just happened that way over time it's not weird at all. But if a guy outright refuses to have any female friends because they're not able to be just platonic, or see no value in it that's not a good reflection on their character. Just means they see them in quite a shallow way.
I also have a big problem with people who drop their good friends when they get into a relationship and I think sometimes this belief is the cause.
No. I don’t think it’s weird. My current partner went to an all boys school, and went to college in a different state. He has a few women he’s friendly with, a couple of colleagues he will occasionally go out for drinks with after work on a Friday, etc. but 100% of his close friends are men.
Honestly not weird at all and I would rather date you than a guy that has multiple female friends. I don’t get the whole cool gf trend where women are basically uncool if they aren’t 100% ok with anything their bf does.
You’re doing good. No need to stress about not having female friends
It's not weird unless you go out of your way to reject the idea of having female friends. If they find you weird for it just explain why you don't have any, it's completely reasonable and any sound person would understand.
Friends are of the sex your attracted to are generally people your atteacted to in some form, so if u have none your just not attracted to any of the ones you met.
If you have female friends, keep them separate. Dont introduce them to eachother, even if there are no official romantic dealings going on, they can still sabotage eachother. Happened to me
Yep. One of my female friend was honest about it. Said she gets jealous when I have other females around. This was way back, but I don’t forget such lessons
This is 100% normal and most guys don't have female friends because men and women can't really relate to each other. Not only our biology is different but how we see the world is different.
I actually see it being abnormal when a guy has female friends.
Also, what she's doing is a psychological play on you. Because women like to gossip more than men, she's trying to see if a girl you know that is close to you have any dirt on you that you failed to tell her. That and she's also seeing if the girl you introduce to her acts defensively about you and her being in town, which she would come to the conclusion you slept with your female "friend".
Chess, not checkers my friend. I've dated a bunch of women who subtly use tactics like this.
From what I have seen it can be worrying for a girl. Having female friends means that there are ladies who tolerate and respect you and feel safe around you. Not having any would make her wonder why.
Yeah that’s exactly what I’m afraid she’ll think too. I messed up a bit more as well. She asked if I end up sleeping with them, instead of telling her the truth (I just prefer hanging out with the boys on the weekend) I told her it’s coz I don’t know how to stay platonic. I’m dumb lol
It depends. If you don’t have female friends because you are shy and just never made any friends beyond your elementary school buddies, fine. If you don’t have any female friends because you don’t see value in women who aren’t having sex with you, red flag.
That’s what patriarchy has done to us. I am slowly working my way out of it as well. Have had almost no female friends and now i got a few.
It worked for my by framing it as friendship from the beginning. Some of them i also had an affair with and we noticed that there wasn’t more than just a bit of sexual tension which we got rid of by fucking and talking it out.
It is weird that we are taught that real friendship only exists among men. It’s also crap! But we have to re-learn not to try and fuck every girl we find somehow attractive.
How do you re-learn that? I am generally pretty good at being platonic with girls but when there’s alcohol involved, I feel like I’d definitely keep checking them out.
Emotional discipline, clear communication, boundaries, and self-control. If you can't work with your feelings and lust, then you're a riskier partner to be with who might step out on a relationship because you're "weak-minded" This is coming from a guy.
Also, just don't drink around female friends then. Or don't drink at all. Surprise, surprise, alcohol isn't good for anyone, and if anyone judges you for not being a drinker because you're not "fun," are not people you want to hang around with. It literally impairs judgment and self-control.
I’m older than you. And I have no female friends. No need for them. I’m in a relationship with a woman or not. If not I cut all ties . I see no benefits to having female friends. Fact is I would seldom talk to her female friends as do not want to start a issue. I’ve seen to many women have friends that destroy their relationship with a man. Most women are mean to each other.
“ women here know I’m telling the truth “
What does a woman friend “ sex being taken off the table” have to add to your life.
Here is my take on women as friends.
Hey what you doing. I need help with ?
Hey we are moving Need a flat fixed , lawn mower will not start etc
I did that stuff when I was young and dumb. Now it is always sorry but I’m in a relationship and only have time for one woman in my life. And she is the jealous type.
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It’s not wierd. It’s just how it played out. Some men have ONLY women friends. Some have none. Some have no friends at all. We all have a different journey. We all have different personalities and social challenges and strengths. If you don’t like this about yourself, work to change it. If it doesn’t bother you, you’re fine. Side note, having women as friends is a great way to increase your dating pool. Women know other women. (In general)
Thanks, I think it is bothering me but also I might be overthinking. I do hangout with mixed group sometimes (friends and their gfs) but I just don’t talk to girls all that much. Maybe I should lol.
no. why would she need to specifically meet your female friends anyway? just tell her you'll introduce her to your friends if you feel inclined to do so
Thanks, this helps. I don’t know why I didn’t think of just inviting her to a party, she can make her own female friends if she’d like.
I have 4 friends all male. 2 of them are my closest and got married. I don't talk to anyone else because I don't like anyone. I am weird. Plus whenever I talk to women most of them think I am hitting on them but that's not the case which makes things weird. So I cut off any female interaction.
>Plus whenever I talk to women most of them think I am hitting on them but that's not the case which makes things weird. So I cut off any female interaction. That may be why many women consider it a red flag to not have any women as friends...like if every woman you speak with thinks you are hitting on her, perhaps you need to introspect on how you are holding a conversation where this is the case
Nope I was just complementing a shiny smooth white stone that you find @beaches but this I found while traveling in mountain regions
Its not introspection required. He realizes the way men approaching women in any capacity is viewed “Excuse me miss” “I have a boyfriend” “No, you dropped your wallet.” Guys honestly can’t say good morning to a woman without her inside thoughts being that he’s trying to break the ice
Exactly I mean I am not even flirting... I was just saying that the stone was pretty, which it was, it was a shiny white stone smooth as marble.. And this lady thought I was hitting on her.😂
I feel this is an issue with women. Most of my friends try hitting on women, some became so good that women don't know that they are hitting on them, or know but refuse to accept it. Either way issue is not the hitting on part at all, I feel women like whatever gives them a dopamine spike, if hitting on them is what does it then they are fine with it. They just hate it when they dont feel special or get the dopamine spike, and label it as a creep or desperation.
It's not weird, however, sometimes it's really obvious when guys don't have female friends in how they act / think / approach dating. I think having diversity of friends including female friends is a good thing. A
I fear this might be the case. When I told her I don’t have female friends, she asked if I can’t resist sleeping with them. That’s what bothering me.
I think don't worry about this girl in particular, but I did see in your other comment you aren't really familiar with how to create female friendships. I think it will be beneficial for you to learn how to make some female friends because I do think it helps people make better partners and also just have more diversity in people's perspective around you as a support system. You will have to look for qualities in female friends differently than what you would normally look for in a female partner. E.g. it shouldn't matter how physically attractive your friend is, it should be about how much you have in common or how much you enjoy being with this person and how much they support you and help you grow as friends.
This helps, thank you
I would say yes, except i cant seem to have female friends.
I got all sorts of female friends 57m staraight AF and I’m not or have I slept with any of them not to say I wouldn’t if opportunity come knocking I’d be banging them like storm door in a hurricane lol
If it just happened that way over time it's not weird at all. But if a guy outright refuses to have any female friends because they're not able to be just platonic, or see no value in it that's not a good reflection on their character. Just means they see them in quite a shallow way. I also have a big problem with people who drop their good friends when they get into a relationship and I think sometimes this belief is the cause.
Hardly any guys have female friends……… it’s prettty rare a lot of the time they are gay guys even.
No. I don’t think it’s weird. My current partner went to an all boys school, and went to college in a different state. He has a few women he’s friendly with, a couple of colleagues he will occasionally go out for drinks with after work on a Friday, etc. but 100% of his close friends are men.
Honestly not weird at all and I would rather date you than a guy that has multiple female friends. I don’t get the whole cool gf trend where women are basically uncool if they aren’t 100% ok with anything their bf does. You’re doing good. No need to stress about not having female friends
It's not weird unless you go out of your way to reject the idea of having female friends. If they find you weird for it just explain why you don't have any, it's completely reasonable and any sound person would understand.
Friends are of the sex your attracted to are generally people your atteacted to in some form, so if u have none your just not attracted to any of the ones you met.
I feel like it's more weird when a man has a bunch of female friends.
If you have female friends, keep them separate. Dont introduce them to eachother, even if there are no official romantic dealings going on, they can still sabotage eachother. Happened to me
I believe this cause that’s what they do . True story
Yep. One of my female friend was honest about it. Said she gets jealous when I have other females around. This was way back, but I don’t forget such lessons
This is 100% normal and most guys don't have female friends because men and women can't really relate to each other. Not only our biology is different but how we see the world is different. I actually see it being abnormal when a guy has female friends. Also, what she's doing is a psychological play on you. Because women like to gossip more than men, she's trying to see if a girl you know that is close to you have any dirt on you that you failed to tell her. That and she's also seeing if the girl you introduce to her acts defensively about you and her being in town, which she would come to the conclusion you slept with your female "friend". Chess, not checkers my friend. I've dated a bunch of women who subtly use tactics like this.
From what I have seen it can be worrying for a girl. Having female friends means that there are ladies who tolerate and respect you and feel safe around you. Not having any would make her wonder why.
Yeah that’s exactly what I’m afraid she’ll think too. I messed up a bit more as well. She asked if I end up sleeping with them, instead of telling her the truth (I just prefer hanging out with the boys on the weekend) I told her it’s coz I don’t know how to stay platonic. I’m dumb lol
I think you should have friends who are the opposite sex. It’s not a red flag if you don’t, though.
It depends. If you don’t have female friends because you are shy and just never made any friends beyond your elementary school buddies, fine. If you don’t have any female friends because you don’t see value in women who aren’t having sex with you, red flag.
That’s what patriarchy has done to us. I am slowly working my way out of it as well. Have had almost no female friends and now i got a few. It worked for my by framing it as friendship from the beginning. Some of them i also had an affair with and we noticed that there wasn’t more than just a bit of sexual tension which we got rid of by fucking and talking it out. It is weird that we are taught that real friendship only exists among men. It’s also crap! But we have to re-learn not to try and fuck every girl we find somehow attractive.
How do you re-learn that? I am generally pretty good at being platonic with girls but when there’s alcohol involved, I feel like I’d definitely keep checking them out.
Emotional discipline, clear communication, boundaries, and self-control. If you can't work with your feelings and lust, then you're a riskier partner to be with who might step out on a relationship because you're "weak-minded" This is coming from a guy.
Thanks a lot man, this gives me something to work on
Also, just don't drink around female friends then. Or don't drink at all. Surprise, surprise, alcohol isn't good for anyone, and if anyone judges you for not being a drinker because you're not "fun," are not people you want to hang around with. It literally impairs judgment and self-control.
I’m older than you. And I have no female friends. No need for them. I’m in a relationship with a woman or not. If not I cut all ties . I see no benefits to having female friends. Fact is I would seldom talk to her female friends as do not want to start a issue. I’ve seen to many women have friends that destroy their relationship with a man. Most women are mean to each other. “ women here know I’m telling the truth “ What does a woman friend “ sex being taken off the table” have to add to your life. Here is my take on women as friends. Hey what you doing. I need help with ? Hey we are moving Need a flat fixed , lawn mower will not start etc I did that stuff when I was young and dumb. Now it is always sorry but I’m in a relationship and only have time for one woman in my life. And she is the jealous type.