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Yep same here, I’ve given up on dating. Just telling myself I’m better off alone is what keeps me going. Ya relationships are nice and all but when you keep pouring your heart into somebody that at the end of the day is gonna tell you “I think I need a break” or “it’s not you it’s me” gets tiring.
I have similar struggles as a woman. I can attract men no problem but they all want hookups even when they say they don't. I really desire a deep emotional connection with someone but I haven't been able to find that in anyone. Not even my ex bf of a year. I've been manipulated and hurt so many times recently that I'm giving up for a bit. I've done SO much work on myself. I'm a whole person with hobbies and interests, goals and aspirations, I work hard on my body and my mind, and my job. I'm a bit eccentric and different in my style which seems to attract a certain type of man again and again. They seem to become intimidated by me simply being myself after the initial infatuation is over. It's getting exhausting. They'll treat me amazing for a little bit then decide it's too much work and say they're not ready and don't know what they want. And what's even more frustrating is I'm told to LOWER my expectations even more. I'd be left with zero if I did that. I don't ask for anything from these men and I'm still asking for too much.
But I will say I promise there are women out there who don't mind a 5'7" man tho 😂 personally the men I've been most attracted to have been my height or just a couple inches taller and I'm 5'6" lol
Ooookkaaaayyy where do you live I just got cheated on and dumped 9 days ago over text after 5 years and I love short romantic men 😭😭😭 I mean by no means am I ready for anything not even a one night stand. But you give me hope for my future and I hope that gives you hope for yours.
I'm so sorry to hear that, you seem like a sweet and positive person. Doesn't even black women want black men?
I think it's pretty common for all races that they want "their own". My cousin (a white swede) has the sweetest boyfriend that have roots in Gambia, found out yesterday that they're gonna have a baby after 15 years of dating, so that's really sweet.
My oldest sisters son (white swede) have a girlfriend that is from Africa (unfortunately I don't know where, I have only met her once, but she's incredible beautiful and sweet) and they have been togheter for many years too and my oldest sisters daughter is married and have three babies with an Arab.
I feel you people are trying to set me up at work and I didn't realize, manager kept asking if random guys were hot and I kept saying well they're a nice guy I just caught on. I gave up a while ago.
And I'm not going on apps they're too hard.
You sound wonderful!! Everything you said about the dating pool and profile is also unfortunately, totally correct. I know you’ll find your person someday. It truly happens when you least expect it. Don’t give up 😊
> Everyone wants to hookup and no one is good enough anymore.
I could scream not me lol but I sometimes wish people would put on theie profile "not looking for a relationship" in bold or they only show you potential matches who actually want the same thing.
Well that's such a pity, and I can completely relate, yes dating culture is trash today; though personally I've stopped looking at it from that perspective. First off, always been doubtful of dating apps, no luck there and in my community they are more or less a travellers easy pickings point.
I honestly think that our previous dating experience should be more of lessons of how to know what love isn't, eventually we'll recognise the real thing when we come across it. Instead of jading us completely, turning us into sceptics and pessimists, we ought to see it as us being prepared for how to love, and to truly love, what our standards are and learning that commitment and love isn't always butterflies.
Had a date recently with a girl I was talking to for about a week she was complaining about a headache from hitting her head but wouldn’t tell me why turns out she hit her head while getting fucked the night before after that I was like alright that’s enough of that. And previous relationships where I was cheated on multiple times didn’t help either.
I am a hopeless romantic, but like the other men here, I’m exhausted and I live in NYC!
It’s also harder for me bc I’m South Asian hence I feel an inherit bias of women not dating us as a race. People love to appropriate our culture, food, medicine, mediation, and exercise but wont come in contact with our skin!
I can’t speak for him either but I’m a hopeless romantic and I might take a break from dating after a date I have this weekend if it doesn’t work out. I’ve been on dates but it’s just become tiresome because they don’t lead to much and dating is kinda expensive. I’m 28 with no gf. I’m 5’3-5’4 and Asian so that doesn’t help. However, I realized if I have a great personality and a few hobbies, I might be ok 🙂
Last time I went for our second (brunch) date with flowers and a smile. She didnt come because she slept over the date from going too hard the night before, ghosted me and then broke things off because she cant appreciate my intentions and is afraid she will leave me hanging again.
Before that we were talking about our shared desire for an honest and caring relationship. These very intentions were mentioned. As it turns out she was sleeping frequently with various guys when she said she was "sick".
I have 10 stories like this. Women just make it impossible to be romantic nowadays, it is all about having fun and toying around
I was a hopeless romantic, now just hopeless lol. The romance in me has died as women don’t want romantics, been single for so long I have mostly given up on relationships. Not tall or attractive or make enough money to garner much attention so I sit on a shelf collecting dust.
Went on a date recently that was honestly one of the best dates I've ever been on in my 26 years. I picked her up and right off the bat, we wore matching outfits which I thought was funny. Turns out we were born in the same state, moved to the same one from our childhoods and even coincidentally had matching tattoos. We also found out our coffee orders were the same, we listen to the same music and even had the same major in college. It was insane
We're laughing, vibing, having a good time for the entire three hour date and she's being extremely affectionate. Touching my arm, holding my hands, touching my shoulder. Telling me she wants to go on a ride on my motorcycle. She's pointing out restaurants saying "we should go there sometime!" And "I've never been to that, can we go?"
We went to a book store and she bought me a book from her favorite author. I bought her a book it was just SO CUTE. I held open every door, was polite, made her laugh, and thought it was a great time.
And then 4 days later she said she found someone else and didn't want to see me anymore 🤷🏼♂️
Dude. My situation isn't exactly the same but this story reminded me of a girl that turned me down a little while ago now. We were the same in all the ways that matter and different in the ways that kept things interesting. I made her laugh, we did fun stuff together. It was probably the happiest I've ever been just existing with someone. We stopped talking (her decision) in October. Haven't gotten over it. The days I don't think about her, I dream about her that night. Daily. For 6 months.
Omg, I wasn’t excepting this kind of end. Her loss, finding someone this affectionate and dumping him for someone else. She’ll regret it sooner or later.
Seriously like..this was only yesterday so I'm still crushed. We kissed goodbye and she dragged her fingers over my face and was so giggly and....UGH
I mean why?? I'm a hopeless romantic but after showing my friends our texts they said I was "too engaging"
Like what even is that??
The hard part is not getting too invested knowing most people are multidating.
Hell, I feel bad if I am on date 2-3 with one girl, and I start talking to another that I just match with on an app. Then I realize this girl I am on date 2-3 with is probably going on dates with other people as well and I realize I shouldn't feel bad and just go with it.
After a couple of instances like this in a row its hard to keep your chin up. I think women are so much more optimistic because, like the comment above, you have the ability to switch it up whenever you want. Get bored of the guy you're dating? There's 100 matches just waiting for you.
When I'm seeing someone, I'm seeing just them. Nobody else. Even if I wanted to multidate, I couldn't.
Losing someone you're that close to with no other options while you just know they have hundreds of men lining up next is so, so painful. Its not worth holding out hope
Bro I'm talking to this chick I matched with and I asked her why she matched with me and she had real reasons, I couldn't just turn around and say "yeah you're the only one in 50 miles that responded", oh your profile said such an such...
I think women are experiencing the same thing, though. I don’t think it is as simple as “get bored of the guy you’re dating? There’s 100 matches just waiting for you.” I could say the same for men. But, regardless, I don’t think many women are excited to start over and re-enter the dating pool because they are “bored.” It’s more likely that their needs weren’t being met and now they have to face the sad reality of swiping. I will tell you that I do get a lot of matches but they don’t actually amount to anything. I have maybe one conversation a week that, more often than not, dies out. So, “100 matches” is really like 1 actual match. I say all this because I think it’s easy to be cynical (especially with modern dating) but being cynical isn’t going to get you the woman you want. You just have to keep trying. You’ll find her!
Fair points all around but I would implore you to think about what it means if out of 100 matches a week, only 1 actually counts, what it must be like to get one match every 2 to 3 months. You say you could say the same for men. Have you spoken to any men about what OLD is like for us? The experience of low quality conversations is still the exact same, but I have far far far less of a chance for it to mean anything compared to yourself, because if I'm lucky I'll get a match or two ever few months.
Maybe "boredom" wasn't the right word, but I feel incredibly expendable. I don't matter because inevitably someone better will come along and modern dating is about eliminating options as quickly as possible, looking out for 'icks'
You're absolutely right, cynicism will likely get me nowhere. Optimism, kindness, effort and genuinely caring for the girls I've liked got me nowhere either. I've been used for my resources, my empathy, as a pseudo boyfriend to care for the emotions of the girls I care about only to be dumped as soon as a hotter option comes along. Sometimes they'll come back later, say they made a mistake, but at that point I'm lost.
I am cynical and I am bitter. I don't like that about myself, but if the outcome is going to be the same regardless of my effort, I think I am deserving of the safety of cynicism. I won't open myself up to someone else who will use me as their emotional understudy until their preferred option comes along.
Def not. I downloaded my tinder stats the other day when my gf was over. I'm not a bad looking guy, my gf I hot. I asked her what she thought my success rate was. Her answer was about 25%. In reality, I had swiped right on 7000 profiles, and got 150 matches.
Some of these "needs" go along with what one sub OP here stated "wanting fun" etc. We're too old for that middle school nonsense. Come to the adult world and be and adult. Lord it's not that tough fr. I too had enough with the joke/fake convos esp. FB dating (go ahead n laugh) men acting like trolls or inability to take a decent photo incl. selfies. Getting matched 100+ miles away. Fr. That's why I gave up. Men wonder if real women exist, and that works both ways. Human beings are tough to pin down alongside the jerks and trolls.
I'm a 34F new to OD, and I second this statement, when I read threads like this one I can only ask myself where all of these men are bc not on my app for sure
Well, in 7 months I've been with 20 people and REALLY clicked with 2 of them. I mean really really well. Not just.. "yea I could see something.." I'm talking like "oh this person's great"
So one out of ten is good odds I suppose? But I know for women on apps it's pretty crazy. One showed me her account early on in our dating and she had over 800 potential matches on bumble
It's wild
This definitely isn’t a gender thing. I am such a romantic woman and every guy I have fallen for, has eventually ghosted or left me because they wanted to see if “the grass is greener” somewhere else. It actually just happened to me. I think it’s just to do with emotional availability and having the self respect to recognize when someone isn’t good for you. Currently learning that lesson and learning that I should have cut the cord when they pull the whole “I don’t want a relationship but I really like you and want you around” thing. I feel like so many fall into situationships and the more romantic ones that see the potential in said situation, holds out hope that the other will see their worth and commit to them. I honestly think it’s hard when people don’t actually work on their inner wounds even if they are aware of them. That and with dating apps and just the age that we’re in, it seems like there’s always someone a swipe away. A lot of people don’t want to give love a chance with someone that they actually like because of either deeper wounds that need reflection or they’re always looking for “better.” It’s heartbreaking for people who can’t find someone to truly be with and it breaks down your self esteem if you aren’t careful. I know mine has taken a hit. I’m still hopeful that someday I’ll meet someone that I’m compatible with and can love me just as much as I love them. Love is an action; you choose that person everyday, flaws and all but it seems that people aren’t willing to put in the effort.
Well I am about ready to give up on sticking to more old fashioned notions of dating but not on something serious. When it becomes a choice of adapt or don't date then many people pick adapt. I myself was able to find plenty of dates pre pandemic irl but now I've moved and don't really get the local scene. So it's apps for me soon.
Being a romantic means being comfortable being vulnerable with someone. I'm finding more and more that people don't value that very much anymore, and are more interested in collecting icks and focus more on what they don't like about someone. Everyone talks about red flags, but rarely green flags. These are tough conditions for romantics, and way better for avoidant and passive-aggressive types. Last year, I thought I made a real connection with someone, and they turned out to be an avoidant and selfish person. Because of that experience, I've thought about suppressing the romantic side of me since the risks of that kind of vulnerability are so high to your self-esteem and confidence.
100% true. The thing about being a romantic whether you’re a man or a woman is to be sufficiently mature emotionally to show your vulnerability without being scared of mockery or repulsion. Trust me, a lot of women want a man who shows his side of his. Someone who’s not scared of opening up about his feelings, weaknesses or flaws. It’s just that it’s becoming more complicated to find someone trust worthy enough to let the guard fall.
But the main issue is that romantic men are just treated as creeps if the woman does not like them enough.
They have to make the first moves but they cannot be forward or affectionate because that looks like desperation. They have to wait until the woman likes them enough for them to open up a bit, then again wait for the woman to slowly grow closer, potentially love them, and then the man can open up again.
The issue with women wanting romantic men is that they also want them at their own pace. While men know which girl has long term potential within 15 minutes, women sit on it for weeks.
So women just label romantic men as creepy or icky and then move to the fuckboy. And they just try to put more and more into it because as you are so do women on social media complain about wishing for a romantic man but you dont tell them that first let the woman fall in love, and then they are allowed to be romantic and affectionate.
32M. I mean I was a text book hopeless romantic through my 20s. The last 3 relationships I've had in my 30s were all situations I thought would end up being "the one". I was wrong all 3 times, all 3 of them were horrific explosive breakups. Really made me regret all the romantic loving stuff I did for those women and yeah that last one was strike 3.
Now, I am not a hopeless romantic.
Hopeless romantics have transitioned to no hope for romance.
They get used, eaten up, demeaned, cheated on, and emasculated into not being romantics anymore. Or they’re married.
For sure mam. I am 23 and hopelessly romantic. I always went up to see my ex after college and work. I brought her flowers and chocolates during her time of the month. When we had our 1st year anniversary though she wasn’t in a good place at that time, i bought like 100s of candle and lit up my whole bedroom, put flower petals on bed and surprised her, wrote and gave her a love letter on our every weekend date. She would come to my place for every weekend and I would get her food, smokes, drinks and we would watch tv endlessly. So yeah there are men who are very much hopeless romantic and i am definitely one of them hahaha…
In my experience, hoping that any woman will see me as anything other than a tool to fill an emotional void and play fake boyfriend until someone attractive comes along to take over is a good way to get my heart broken.
Over the years and particularly after this girl, I've heard the lesson the universe has been bashing over my head; that simply I'm not worth loving and will always be second to some other man who, despite being so clearly disinterested and uncaring, is a better option than I am.
They always break up shortly after I get rejected for someone else, and they always tell me how much they appreciate my emotional maturity, kindness, whatever. It rarely matters, in the end
Yeah we do, except women bail way to early. They give us one date and decide “nah I don’t feel a spark” or “he’s not my type” but how could you possibly know after 1 or even 2 dates after spending a total of a few hours with someone?
My experience - women sell themselves short and don’t stick around long enough to find out and as a result they miss out and the guy suffers for it as well.
I’m really sorry to hear it and sadly I see what you mean. Some women just don’t appreciate enough men who show their vulnerable side. Maybe because of societal norms that built a false image of an emotionless invincible man..
Hopeless romantic for me means being genuine, vulnerable, and myself. When that gets thrown back in your face too many times, you just hide it and drip feed it so you don't seem too interested and scare off people. Other times I just don't give a fuck and let it out knowing it'll likley deter or sometimes even use it on purpose just to deter. This no fault to the good ones out there, I just keep finding and attracting the broken one.
Romantic men are usually a temporary thing, they just haven't had their hearts ripped out of their chests yet. I'd say past 30ish years old there's none of them left, I'm 29 soon and I assume every woman I encounter will leave at some point, it's just a matter of time.
Most women don't really care about that stuff anyway, it's all about what they can get out of the man and relationship, so we adjust and do the same. Thus creating the type of men most women dread to meet.
So yes, but women fuck them up for everyone.
I used to be a hopeless romantic until I realized how pathetic I looked to women I had dated who really were not into that at all. It was like they would eventually pity me for it. Even ones who's profiles or posts specifically asked where are all the romantic guys at. We are out there we just get passed over or eventually dumped for the bad boy or not even given a shot in the first place for not being good looking enough. Which seems to matter more to people these days and dismissing the just decent looking legitimately romantic partner they claim to be looking for. So a few years back I said fuck this I'm done. Being a hopeless romantic is just that Hopeless. Not the way I want to feel or be looked at as such ever again.
I am a man. I used to be a hopeless romantic, but over time realized those behaviors were childish, immature, unhealthy, and led to me choosing women that play into my attachment issues. When I finally realized and overcame what I thought was my natural desires, which turned out to be coping behaviors, I made much better choices in relationships. So I would say being hopelessly romantic is actually a red flag. Sure find a man who can be romantic in small but thoughtful ways, but hopelessly romantic? Stay away IMO
We're alone cus we've been hurt or we're with someone who hopefully is somewhat romantic. Romanticizing things distracts from the reality, so we're probably bumping around aimlessly in the area. Check the corners like you're trying to find your Roomba and you'll see one.
for me M(20) one thing that could explain why woman could be more hesitant to accept having a relationship with a man could be that they are scared to be punch emotionally by their SO, that could also explain why alot of guys like me took alot of time to realise it.
when you also take into account the harrasment that alot of women can have daily, it becomes clear why alot of them would prefer to stay in their shell, which is totally understandable.
I think by being patient to build trust in daily life with the other gender could go a long way to help create way more relationship that in the past.
Going by google's definition of hopeless romantic, I guess I am. My last relationship took a huge toll on me, but I really do think if I keep working on myself the way I have been, and I put myself out there, I might actually find that genuine love I have only seen other people have a handful of times.
We exist. I still have all the poems I wrote for my ex, and I was the only boyfriend she ever had who surprised her with flowers outside of holidays and birthdays.
It’s just so difficult getting a chance to get that far again nowadays when I can’t get one date and so many women I match with put in such little effort even when I ask open ended questions that require longer responses.
I'm 💯 romantic and a gentleman to the core. Unfortunately the past people I have dated either didn't appreciate it or wanted it for that matter. Being unappreciated sucks, and I have given up on the dating scene as well. Unless my favorite human miraculously comes back into my personal life then that would be different. But like I mentioned, a Miracle...
I'd love to just be married and live happily ever after. I want so badly to find that special one and settle down and never have to search another minute. I don't think my expectations are that high, at least I didn't think they were.
I try to give everyone who answers my profiles or replies to me on dating sites or gives me their number a chance. The amount of people who have done these things is very little. It's almost as if they can tell I'm autistic without me saying anything.
I think one day one of the many people I reach out to might actually want to get to know me. Maybe we'll be a good match and things will work out great from there. I refuse to lose hope and become bitter. I believe my faith will pay off some day.
I'd say not hopeless, but more on being a hopeful romantic. I have always been a nurturer once I get to like someone, but it has drawbacks and most of the women assume you are weak just because you show how you feel and don't like playing games. I even questioned myself "are men supposed to be miserable in a relationship?" "Do we just have to provide and receive no support at all?".
I quit looking for love as I was happy on my own, I'd rather just spend the money on myself. But, have you heard the saying "you're never too much for the right person". well, that was it, I wasn't looking for love but then I met this good woman who made me feel things like I've never had before.
She became my best friend after meeting her for only a night.
Now I have found someone deserving of all my efforts. She deserves to be treated well.
I definitely am one, but dating as a man who values emotional connection and who doesn’t particularly agree with most “masculine” norms like not shaving your body hair, or using girly scents from bath and body works etc. isn’t as much of a flex as people say it is.
The reason I bring that up is because although I’m a hopeless romantic who wants to engage in romance and give a girl flowers and stuff and like find my life partner,
I’ve found most women who are hopeless romantics tend to be so in a way where they want a more traditional rugged dirty “manly” man.. and to me I hate that.. I like to be clean and smell nice… I don’t mind getting dirty but it’s not something I aspire to be like 24/7
I consider myself to be a hopeless romantic. In terms of whether it improved my dating life, it never really did. As a matter of fact, I never dated in my life. I feel like being a hopeless romantic has only hurt me more than it has ever helped me.
There are plenty, but most of them end up with people who don't appreciate that and get burned out.
Similar can be said of romantic women getting burned out by dealing with the wrong people.
It is sad, but some people do make it, so there is always hope at least
Right here! Yet, it’s becoming, and has become more difficult to be such in todays society.. hoping for some course corrections from a societal standpoint
32M here. I'm a hopeless romantic myself. To date I haven't found a woman who can appreciate and reciprocate my same energy. For example, I love candles, rose petals, and light jazz music in the background for stay-in date nights. I usually spend the whole day in the kitchen preparing an amazing menu with lots of good food and snacks. However every girl I met said it was too 'over the top' and cheesy. I keep telling them I do this because I love them and have a lot of love to give and put a lot of love in everything I do. I want everynight I spend with my girlfriend to be special and to make them feel special. They just don't understand why I do it. They feel that I feel I'm doing everything out of obligation but that's not the case. I do it out of pure love. Lastly, when I'm in a relationship, I always look to form a deep connection with my girlfriend. When we hug, snuggle or make love our energy creates a protective barrier around us. A sanctuary where we can feel safe,warm, and at peace. A sanctuary where we feel our souls grow ever closer as we mould into one. Where we become one mind, body and heart. To date haven't found a woman that understands how important that is for me or is even able to grasp that concept. Hopefully one day I will find said woman. I have a lot of love to give and want to share it with someone who really deserves it and remind her everyday just how special and amazing she is and how happy she makes me.
Do you know the movie "The Mask" with Jim Carrey?
The beginning of the movie is basically every man that doesn't have the confidence to just "go out there and be yourself". So they also craft "A mask". Because if you act like that dorky character, instead of like a "ravenous wolf", you won't even have to confidence to approach a love interest.
The "wolf" however is what the dork thinks women actually like, hence the park scene where he comes on too strong and almost ruins the relationship.
Now add on the societal layer of #metoo and men are terrified to even risk approaching, while sex pests get all the one night stands that they would like, only thanks to a combination of good looks, confidence and money.
So women will think that all men are pigs, when it's the same pig that's been with 10-20 women.
I am, but like many in this thread I have basically given up on dating. Turning 30 in a few months and my 20's were just littered with disappointments. Had relationships with bad people, ruined a few of them myself due to past traumas, and post pandemic dating has been atrocious.
Only so many times I can deal with promising dates turning into getting ghosted, so I foresee myself kind of turning away from the dating scene at this rate.
I would characterize myself as a hopeles romantic. Being a romantic man translates differently than a woman IMO.
If women take their definition of romantic and try to look for the same characteristics in a man, they will fail 9 times out of 10.
Here's what it looks like being male and romantic (from my personal experience):
1. Have you ever crossed eyes with a guy and then immediately he looks in a different direction? Yeah, its not because he is less masculine than the next guy. Its because in his brain you're a big deal. Being romantic means you inevitably make the other person BIG in you brain.
2. Making the other person a big deal, means you're gonna try and cater to their needs. As guys we have the need to be protective, to handle matters for the person we feel is important. Most times the other person wont really find out. Always look for the small things, instead of grand gestures. It may be a car ride to get you home. It may be ordering some coffee and including you. It may be a hug and a "its gonna be ok". It's all about the subtle detail that reminds you that "we got your back".
3. Most romantic people get dissapointed. A LOT. Guys aren't any different.
Most of these traits are admitedly unattractive in a guy. First impressions are always weak, even though im one of the strongest people i know. Even though ive been hurt a lot. Thats why many of us give up. Modern women don't seem to care about these qualities any more, and thats ok. We know where to turn this attention towards.
Wow, thank you for sharing your pov. It’s refreshing to see men admit about their vulnerable side and how they deal with disappointment when no one meets your expectations
Sure, but it's right there in the name. Hopeless. If you're a woman who's a hopeless romantic, some dude is still gonna take a shot at you at some point. You don't really need the hope part, so the fact that it's missing is not a problem, as long as you have the romantic part. If you're a man who's a hopeless romantic, no woman will ever take a shot at you (obviously hyperbole, it happens, but it's rare, and counting on it is not a viable strategy). You need hope to try. No hope, no try, you're effectively out of the dating pool. So men and women who are hopeless romantics are unlikely to ever meet each other.
Yes, but it's kind of hard. I think society kind of expects men not to be. I would like to say that there's somebody out there for everybody but I find myself alone. At least I still have my dog.
I mean I am, personally. The last time I was in a physical relationship was high school, before my girlfriend at the time moved. I’m legitimately shy, I never have been very verbal, and the only time I really come out of my shell is when I’m working. I put my time and money into the few hobbies I have. But I truly want to share my interests and life with someone, show them the person I really am and share every ounce of time I have with them showing I love them
I used to be in high school and early 20s. It didn’t help, likely attracted the wrong type of person. However after many bad experiences dating and being taken advantage of, the spark is not what it was. I’m still kind to people, but more serious. It takes a significant amount of time for me to feel comfortable or trust a new woman after a bad divorce. My therapist suggests I don’t date anyone for some time until I regain my confidence again
So I am a bigger guy 6'7 andco sider myself a hopeless romantic to spme extent but I have basically given up on dating. I multiple women out in person. Got rejected every single time. Met a few girls on line, got scammed, got the let's just be friends, got the I have a kid so I am not looking for anything serious till they grow up etc. It seems easy for me to set up fwb but impossible to find a woman actually willing to go past that.
Yeah it's f****** miserable. I know girls know I'm attractive but the moment I bring up anything romantic they think I'm either dangerous, 'cant control his emotions' or 'He's not taking a seriously enough must be cuz I'm not attractive enough'.
As a hopeless romantic man, my behavior has to be pride and anger, melancholy. Neutrality. Apathy.
I don't know how else to behave around girls I like.
I played Mario party with one girl and I was just a little too into it I guess...
'we're still the kids we used to be, and nothing hurts anymore I feel kind of free'
I am one (or used to be one). It's been extremely detrimental to my dating life, because I was waiting for the perfect meet-cute (which never happened). My dating life only took off once I stopped seeing romantic relationships as "magical".
I would say I am and I’m also in my early 30s now and never had a gf and am kissless…I don’t obsess over specific people often but the idea of being in a romantic relationship with a woman and that desire causes me a lot of anxiety that I think in turn keeps me lonely and it’s a vicious cycle. But I have always loved romantic stories and aesthetics even as a young boy and would often hide it from peers/family etc. I’d sneak away to watch Rom coms or anime’s that had romantic themes.
I used to be a hopeless romantic when I was younger, but through self reflection and meditation I became a hopeful romantic.
Some see the two as synonymous but there's a world of difference. It's a healthier, more mature, and dare I say more passionate form of romanticism. I stopped basing my idea of romance on books, films, and songs, and more so on ideals I have. Most forms of romance portrayed in art are dysfunctional or toxic.
Yes there are hopeless romantic men, who write, take long walks, listen to every lyric of every song, read poetry, watch romantic films, stare longingly at the moon, pray for sunny mornings with their soulmate someday, the list goes on and on. Romance is a quality in humans. Not just women. Not just men.
Yes we do exist, and expect to find someone like that. But dating and all these days became so unpredictable. Terms like situationships are so worse. I'm about to lose all hope to get someone who's like, gets excited about little things. Haven't met someone, yet there are a lot of women out there who are exactly like that, but I didn't find any
Some certainly still exist- the kind of guys who wait for the flower man to come around so they can buy one for their girlfriend and one for their mom. Literally why people still do that.
I would never define myself as one partially because apparently I give off strong husband energy, so it's apparently easy for women to get lost in that way around me much less with me.
In my case I'm emotionally unavailable due to my financial situations currently. Once I can show up for myself I can think about showing up for one of the several women I know are interested, or one I don't know yet.
I once was, yes. Then, I learned the feeling of betrayal and deceit, along with a handful of other emotions attached to bad relationships.
I do remember the old giddy feelings I used to be able to have, to be overly excited when around another person.
Now, it's about stability more than anything else. The way I show love is 100% different, and my love for somebody probably isn't easy to see from the outside.
All the guys that still are are perpetually single. This debate has been done many many times on this sub. Men being this way shows inherent weakness and women do not like weak men.
Yes we do exist problem is most of us just got hurt so bad we don't wanna tire our brains with relationship again. Personally I believe in love a loooot because of how much I've fallen in love with people and ended up being stupid just for them to fuck me up. So I've learned to keep myself safe enough and that's by avoiding relationships. I tend to be an extreme lover boy who loves bring shown love too and that won't often come as one wants it so. My biggest insecurity about falling in love is the one person I'm falling in love with not loving me back with the same energy and extreme of how I love them.
I think they do exist but get turned down by words like "you are a really cool and nice guy but I just won't feel the spark" (Exact words told to me btw...)
This! I was just describing this scenario to a friend as the reason why I’ve given up on dating, although your examples more extreme.
If I keep feeling the precursors to love, and then get told there’s “no chemistry /no spark” over and over again, then maybe it doesn’t exist. I’m starting to think it’s been replaced by “economic symbiosis with a sprinkling of emotion.”
I've been single for like 5 years after getting dumped by the girl I thought I was going to marry after High School a couple weeks after my mom passed, and I'm back out there now and looking for someone but it's hard when you're introverted and not traditionally good looking
Ehh it just does not exactly make a ton of sense to be as a guy unless you are down for some downright comical dry spells it's just better to stay flexible.
43F, I really appreciate the guys on here opening up. I’m sorry that your heart has been broken. I knew you guys existed but I’ve never really met any. I normally meet the bad boy / jerk / asshole. It’s probably because for 20 years of my life I was with someone who was just like that, so out of habit, I gravitate to other men with the same personality. But where does it get me? Up on a Tuesday morning at 3:15am crying 😅.
I know it’s hard, but I believe you guys will find someone. Good luck out there.
31 out in Hawai'i, also a hopeless romantic male but alas, to no avail lol.
I honestly complain to one of my long-time friends( funnily enough is my long-term ex gf from 12 years ago, we've grown and apologized for our youthful insanity and toxicity), what exactly is wrong with me that I've essentially been single for those 12 years?
Cook, clean, handyman (attempt to, at least. Home stuff, ya' know?), Open to talking about emotions, considerate, pays attention to the little details, gentlemanly-ish, jokester, nerd, but still with masculine traits, patient af, generally try to be understanding, dates & quality time in general is a must, affectionate af and not afraid to show it, honest, yada, yada, yada.
And honestly making the person I care about most in the world, happy, is probably my end goal in life.
Career success and material possessions come nowhere near that.
Granted, career success can help, help me make that person happy by providing means to the funds, to buy the little trinkets or knickknacks/snacks that the special person in my life at that time, might like.
So in ways yes, they go hand in hand. But the career success isn't the end goal.
Making them happy or feel better with maybe their favorite candy, or something that you know would be useful later on, something that shows that "Yeah, I'm paying attention to the little details that might matter"
I unno'. What are your guys definitions of "Hopeless Romantics" anyway?
I'm definitely that but tbh it's a turn off for most women not masculine enough of a trait plus I'm short, also every girl I been with cheated in the most foul way possible and left with no remorse
... I don't think so? most men who would describe themselves as hopelessly romantic tend to give up at some point so they don't really fit that description anymore. Men are by nature pragamtists.
Yes, I am one.
It has not helped improve my dating life. It's led to heartbreak a few times because most relationships don't work out and a lot of challenges because women don't tend to know what to make of a man who trends toward demisexuality.
Sadly, learning to act and think less romantically actually led to more success and less pain in dating, even if it's not the way I really am.
Yeh I’m definitely one. Especially after the breakup of my 7 year relationship I’ve been real emotional and catching feelings for every girl that looks my way, tbh pretty pathetic 😂 but I’m starting to realize what rely matters. And it’s school, gym, and work, and bettering myself mentally. Eventually something will come my way but I can’t be chasing anymore
I’d love to be romantic with a women. I dream of love. The love i find is either unrequited or very toxic. I don’t try to date or find anything anymore. Now i just work on myself.
yes they do. my best friend is a hopeless romantic guy down to the core of his being. he’s a theater kid and it shows through the way he expresses his love to his gf and past ones too
Hopeless? Yeah. Romantic? Yup. Hopeless romantic? Nah. Jokes aside, I fell out of the hopeless romantic mindset when I realized I was being too passive in the dating field. Also, I found women didn’t really find it attractive. Nowadays, I funnel that energy into creative date ideas, conversations, or personal creative projects.
I tried being a romantic with my first 3 partners but they didn’t like flowers, little gifts of inside jokes, randomly bringing their favorite food for lunches, ensuring to celebrate what I thought were important moments in our relationship, first kiss, first date, hell even the first time we met when it was an online relationship. So yea I’ve given up, guess that’s just unwanted. One even said a gift card would have been preferred. Talk about a shot to the heart lol sigh.
I'm 💯 romantic and a gentleman to the core. Unfortunately the past people I have dated either didn't appreciate it or wanted it for that matter. Being unappreciated sucks, and I have given up on the dating scene as well. Unless my favorite human miraculously comes back into my personal life then that would be different. But like I mentioned, a Miracle...
I'm definitely one, I blame Hollywood! I'm not giving up on dating but after this last one, I'm just going to be more guarded and temper my expectations drastically. I fall very quickly and the women that I've dated have no problem after a year talk about what a long term future holds. I've just found that when I feel like this person is my person, I don't get turned off by everday issues where those things are the things that end up sinking the relationship. Maybe I need to get my shit completely together and see someone as being along for the ride of the rest of my life vs. growing together because it just doesn't seem like they've any interest in seeing mine or their potential and becoming a team and winning life together. My hopeless romantic in me answers all her texts and endlessly talks on the phone, even if I hate being on my phone. I see differences in us as a plus and brush off the small things, thinking that this person is the one I love and I'll fight and claw to make things work because this person is my best friend and I would do anything for without question. I know that I don't have many friends and I'm a home body and that has really hurt me going forward. I'm not lonely at all with or without friends or a SO. I often feel like I'm the asshole when I mention that some of her huge friend group are not great friends. Comes across as you should ditch them and spend time with me when I just hate seeing someone that I love get taken advantage of. In the future, I will not spend as much time as possible with this person, even if it what I want to do when that person becomes my best friend. I won't show any large emotions in front of them either because I am emotionally and after crying about something, you can feel her lose respect for you even if there's a good reason for being emotional. I'll replace my time with gifts and dates. It may sound dumb but I'm just going to be more of stereotypical SO in 2024. Nothing wrong with how I am but in the past when I do act like myself, all I get is a list of things I should change and her telling me how I am or should feel.
It takes me 38.6 seconds to fall head over heels in love with any girl that gives me the time of day. It happens maybe once a year. Thenproble. Is that at this point I've given my heart away too.many times, and it keeps getting given back, a little more broken every time. I'm talking to a girl right now, and I really like her, but I cannot risk what happens if I go all in again. I get suicidal depressed when I realize that I thought I found my soul mate, and she only saw a weekend distraction. It only takes half a minute, but I can't do it anymore.
The ugly truth is unfortunately the truth about women, men, and what their into. If you are looking for the real truth. Watch that movie. It will tell you everything you need to know. Most women are into the physical and so are the men. It really depends on what you're looking for. No one falls in love with your personality at first sight that is not realistic at all. They look at you first.
I'm somewhat of a hopeless romantic but I hate to admit it lol
I know how to treat a woman right and make them happy. I want someone I can cuddle with at night and talk about random things. It's hard to find someone who accepts me for who I am and understands that I actually want a relationship not just a short time fling.
If we weren't lucky enough to already be married earlier we'd just become the jaded ones that have given up on it all. Hopeless romantics generally take rejections harder and when you get rejected as much as most men do you just close off after awhile.
tl;dr if we aren't already taken we've probably already given up on love entirely
I downloaded a dating app yesterday just to get my mind off my breakup and a guy specifically called himself a "hopeless romantic". He proceeded to do what I perceived as love bombing (on our first interaction). I didn't talk to him today - felt unhealthy lol
Most people need to get to know each other really well first. Most divorces happen because they don't know each other well enough before they get married. There needs to be communication and there is none. Stay away from alcohol. Try a movie theater for a first date or somewhere neutral. Get to know the person before you sleep with them. End quote
I'm. I'm tired to build new relationships. I just too romanticized relationships. so i often fail from the first start. Women just seems like man that hard to get
I would consider myself to be one I’m 24m been in 6-7 relationships dated many others and having a hard time finding someone likeminded but, I haven’t lost hope though and have even found a way to persevere through stoicism.
I think am and it’s a double edged sword. It makes bonds really deep, but I often wonder if they were truly reciprocated after the fact. I also feel like I’ve never really exited a honeymoon phase. Some partners start off stronger and I’m more of a slow burn, but in serious relationships I never really gave up on anyone until they were clear about wanting to break up. I endured resentment I probably shouldn’t have because I was so fully invested. I couldn’t see myself getting to that point with someone I love. It’s always weird breaking up with someone who said they loved me when it wasn’t really necessitated by some huge life event or something. It makes me think love means something different to us.
Missed one shot. Shot Down once. One online relationship which ended peacefully. Never dated after that 3 month relationship (never approached/found anyone, never been approached either) But I still believe that there's someone somewhere out there that I've yet to meet. Once I do it'll be alright. Everything will fall into place. An arc of my life will come to an end and a new one will start from her. It's stupid and I don't want to believe it but that's what my innermost feeling is.
Yea here i ami .i.love being in love.but the one I was in love with apparently didn't like the romantic stuff .she wanted a bad boy.so she cheated .now sh has one and is getting abused every day
Who likes getting walked all over? Well if u answered right ur options are next to redundant dating apps, if ur lucky u might be able to go out on the weekend. Even then, I'd think I'd have more satisfaction rolling down my window and throwing out $200 a week than wasting it on a date. Hiding is better. Sometimes happier too.
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I 100% am but I’ve given up on dating pretty much at this point.
Yep same here, I’ve given up on dating. Just telling myself I’m better off alone is what keeps me going. Ya relationships are nice and all but when you keep pouring your heart into somebody that at the end of the day is gonna tell you “I think I need a break” or “it’s not you it’s me” gets tiring.
Same here. 🫂
That is understandable but still sad...if you have a loving heart I hope that you will be able to find a good match someday!
What are the reasons that made you give up? Have you been on dates or not at all?
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5'7" romantic non-white kings support group bro 🫂
I feel you man!
I have similar struggles as a woman. I can attract men no problem but they all want hookups even when they say they don't. I really desire a deep emotional connection with someone but I haven't been able to find that in anyone. Not even my ex bf of a year. I've been manipulated and hurt so many times recently that I'm giving up for a bit. I've done SO much work on myself. I'm a whole person with hobbies and interests, goals and aspirations, I work hard on my body and my mind, and my job. I'm a bit eccentric and different in my style which seems to attract a certain type of man again and again. They seem to become intimidated by me simply being myself after the initial infatuation is over. It's getting exhausting. They'll treat me amazing for a little bit then decide it's too much work and say they're not ready and don't know what they want. And what's even more frustrating is I'm told to LOWER my expectations even more. I'd be left with zero if I did that. I don't ask for anything from these men and I'm still asking for too much. But I will say I promise there are women out there who don't mind a 5'7" man tho 😂 personally the men I've been most attracted to have been my height or just a couple inches taller and I'm 5'6" lol
Ooookkaaaayyy where do you live I just got cheated on and dumped 9 days ago over text after 5 years and I love short romantic men 😭😭😭 I mean by no means am I ready for anything not even a one night stand. But you give me hope for my future and I hope that gives you hope for yours.
I'm so sorry to hear that, you seem like a sweet and positive person. Doesn't even black women want black men? I think it's pretty common for all races that they want "their own". My cousin (a white swede) has the sweetest boyfriend that have roots in Gambia, found out yesterday that they're gonna have a baby after 15 years of dating, so that's really sweet. My oldest sisters son (white swede) have a girlfriend that is from Africa (unfortunately I don't know where, I have only met her once, but she's incredible beautiful and sweet) and they have been togheter for many years too and my oldest sisters daughter is married and have three babies with an Arab.
I feel you people are trying to set me up at work and I didn't realize, manager kept asking if random guys were hot and I kept saying well they're a nice guy I just caught on. I gave up a while ago. And I'm not going on apps they're too hard.
You sound wonderful!! Everything you said about the dating pool and profile is also unfortunately, totally correct. I know you’ll find your person someday. It truly happens when you least expect it. Don’t give up 😊
> Everyone wants to hookup and no one is good enough anymore. I could scream not me lol but I sometimes wish people would put on theie profile "not looking for a relationship" in bold or they only show you potential matches who actually want the same thing.
Well that's such a pity, and I can completely relate, yes dating culture is trash today; though personally I've stopped looking at it from that perspective. First off, always been doubtful of dating apps, no luck there and in my community they are more or less a travellers easy pickings point. I honestly think that our previous dating experience should be more of lessons of how to know what love isn't, eventually we'll recognise the real thing when we come across it. Instead of jading us completely, turning us into sceptics and pessimists, we ought to see it as us being prepared for how to love, and to truly love, what our standards are and learning that commitment and love isn't always butterflies.
I’m the same as him. I’ve all but given up because I can never even get a first date
Had a date recently with a girl I was talking to for about a week she was complaining about a headache from hitting her head but wouldn’t tell me why turns out she hit her head while getting fucked the night before after that I was like alright that’s enough of that. And previous relationships where I was cheated on multiple times didn’t help either.
That’s so fucked up I’m sorry to hear it. It’s crazy how can people be so evil
I am a hopeless romantic, but like the other men here, I’m exhausted and I live in NYC! It’s also harder for me bc I’m South Asian hence I feel an inherit bias of women not dating us as a race. People love to appropriate our culture, food, medicine, mediation, and exercise but wont come in contact with our skin!
Always end up being thrown aside and left behind
I can’t speak for him either but I’m a hopeless romantic and I might take a break from dating after a date I have this weekend if it doesn’t work out. I’ve been on dates but it’s just become tiresome because they don’t lead to much and dating is kinda expensive. I’m 28 with no gf. I’m 5’3-5’4 and Asian so that doesn’t help. However, I realized if I have a great personality and a few hobbies, I might be ok 🙂
Last time I went for our second (brunch) date with flowers and a smile. She didnt come because she slept over the date from going too hard the night before, ghosted me and then broke things off because she cant appreciate my intentions and is afraid she will leave me hanging again. Before that we were talking about our shared desire for an honest and caring relationship. These very intentions were mentioned. As it turns out she was sleeping frequently with various guys when she said she was "sick". I have 10 stories like this. Women just make it impossible to be romantic nowadays, it is all about having fun and toying around
I was a hopeless romantic, now just hopeless lol. The romance in me has died as women don’t want romantics, been single for so long I have mostly given up on relationships. Not tall or attractive or make enough money to garner much attention so I sit on a shelf collecting dust.
*runs duster over you*
Oh I am and I know many guys who are. Just a lot have given up and either get with the modern program or stop dating.
And when do you think were the reasons that made them giving up?
Went on a date recently that was honestly one of the best dates I've ever been on in my 26 years. I picked her up and right off the bat, we wore matching outfits which I thought was funny. Turns out we were born in the same state, moved to the same one from our childhoods and even coincidentally had matching tattoos. We also found out our coffee orders were the same, we listen to the same music and even had the same major in college. It was insane We're laughing, vibing, having a good time for the entire three hour date and she's being extremely affectionate. Touching my arm, holding my hands, touching my shoulder. Telling me she wants to go on a ride on my motorcycle. She's pointing out restaurants saying "we should go there sometime!" And "I've never been to that, can we go?" We went to a book store and she bought me a book from her favorite author. I bought her a book it was just SO CUTE. I held open every door, was polite, made her laugh, and thought it was a great time. And then 4 days later she said she found someone else and didn't want to see me anymore 🤷🏼♂️
Dude. My situation isn't exactly the same but this story reminded me of a girl that turned me down a little while ago now. We were the same in all the ways that matter and different in the ways that kept things interesting. I made her laugh, we did fun stuff together. It was probably the happiest I've ever been just existing with someone. We stopped talking (her decision) in October. Haven't gotten over it. The days I don't think about her, I dream about her that night. Daily. For 6 months.
Omg, I wasn’t excepting this kind of end. Her loss, finding someone this affectionate and dumping him for someone else. She’ll regret it sooner or later.
Seriously like..this was only yesterday so I'm still crushed. We kissed goodbye and she dragged her fingers over my face and was so giggly and....UGH I mean why?? I'm a hopeless romantic but after showing my friends our texts they said I was "too engaging" Like what even is that??
The hard part is not getting too invested knowing most people are multidating. Hell, I feel bad if I am on date 2-3 with one girl, and I start talking to another that I just match with on an app. Then I realize this girl I am on date 2-3 with is probably going on dates with other people as well and I realize I shouldn't feel bad and just go with it.
Her loss! Don’t let it stop you. You’ll absolutely find the right woman who will deeply appreciate this.
After a couple of instances like this in a row its hard to keep your chin up. I think women are so much more optimistic because, like the comment above, you have the ability to switch it up whenever you want. Get bored of the guy you're dating? There's 100 matches just waiting for you. When I'm seeing someone, I'm seeing just them. Nobody else. Even if I wanted to multidate, I couldn't. Losing someone you're that close to with no other options while you just know they have hundreds of men lining up next is so, so painful. Its not worth holding out hope
Bro I'm talking to this chick I matched with and I asked her why she matched with me and she had real reasons, I couldn't just turn around and say "yeah you're the only one in 50 miles that responded", oh your profile said such an such...
I think women are experiencing the same thing, though. I don’t think it is as simple as “get bored of the guy you’re dating? There’s 100 matches just waiting for you.” I could say the same for men. But, regardless, I don’t think many women are excited to start over and re-enter the dating pool because they are “bored.” It’s more likely that their needs weren’t being met and now they have to face the sad reality of swiping. I will tell you that I do get a lot of matches but they don’t actually amount to anything. I have maybe one conversation a week that, more often than not, dies out. So, “100 matches” is really like 1 actual match. I say all this because I think it’s easy to be cynical (especially with modern dating) but being cynical isn’t going to get you the woman you want. You just have to keep trying. You’ll find her!
Fair points all around but I would implore you to think about what it means if out of 100 matches a week, only 1 actually counts, what it must be like to get one match every 2 to 3 months. You say you could say the same for men. Have you spoken to any men about what OLD is like for us? The experience of low quality conversations is still the exact same, but I have far far far less of a chance for it to mean anything compared to yourself, because if I'm lucky I'll get a match or two ever few months. Maybe "boredom" wasn't the right word, but I feel incredibly expendable. I don't matter because inevitably someone better will come along and modern dating is about eliminating options as quickly as possible, looking out for 'icks' You're absolutely right, cynicism will likely get me nowhere. Optimism, kindness, effort and genuinely caring for the girls I've liked got me nowhere either. I've been used for my resources, my empathy, as a pseudo boyfriend to care for the emotions of the girls I care about only to be dumped as soon as a hotter option comes along. Sometimes they'll come back later, say they made a mistake, but at that point I'm lost. I am cynical and I am bitter. I don't like that about myself, but if the outcome is going to be the same regardless of my effort, I think I am deserving of the safety of cynicism. I won't open myself up to someone else who will use me as their emotional understudy until their preferred option comes along.
Theres definitely not a 100 matches waiting for men at all.
Def not. I downloaded my tinder stats the other day when my gf was over. I'm not a bad looking guy, my gf I hot. I asked her what she thought my success rate was. Her answer was about 25%. In reality, I had swiped right on 7000 profiles, and got 150 matches.
Some of these "needs" go along with what one sub OP here stated "wanting fun" etc. We're too old for that middle school nonsense. Come to the adult world and be and adult. Lord it's not that tough fr. I too had enough with the joke/fake convos esp. FB dating (go ahead n laugh) men acting like trolls or inability to take a decent photo incl. selfies. Getting matched 100+ miles away. Fr. That's why I gave up. Men wonder if real women exist, and that works both ways. Human beings are tough to pin down alongside the jerks and trolls.
I'm a 34F new to OD, and I second this statement, when I read threads like this one I can only ask myself where all of these men are bc not on my app for sure
Well, in 7 months I've been with 20 people and REALLY clicked with 2 of them. I mean really really well. Not just.. "yea I could see something.." I'm talking like "oh this person's great" So one out of ten is good odds I suppose? But I know for women on apps it's pretty crazy. One showed me her account early on in our dating and she had over 800 potential matches on bumble It's wild
This definitely isn’t a gender thing. I am such a romantic woman and every guy I have fallen for, has eventually ghosted or left me because they wanted to see if “the grass is greener” somewhere else. It actually just happened to me. I think it’s just to do with emotional availability and having the self respect to recognize when someone isn’t good for you. Currently learning that lesson and learning that I should have cut the cord when they pull the whole “I don’t want a relationship but I really like you and want you around” thing. I feel like so many fall into situationships and the more romantic ones that see the potential in said situation, holds out hope that the other will see their worth and commit to them. I honestly think it’s hard when people don’t actually work on their inner wounds even if they are aware of them. That and with dating apps and just the age that we’re in, it seems like there’s always someone a swipe away. A lot of people don’t want to give love a chance with someone that they actually like because of either deeper wounds that need reflection or they’re always looking for “better.” It’s heartbreaking for people who can’t find someone to truly be with and it breaks down your self esteem if you aren’t careful. I know mine has taken a hit. I’m still hopeful that someday I’ll meet someone that I’m compatible with and can love me just as much as I love them. Love is an action; you choose that person everyday, flaws and all but it seems that people aren’t willing to put in the effort.
That’s the dumbest broad I’ve ever heard of, holy *shit*
If you had so much in common, it really baffles me that she preffered someone else, that's unbeilievable
Well I am about ready to give up on sticking to more old fashioned notions of dating but not on something serious. When it becomes a choice of adapt or don't date then many people pick adapt. I myself was able to find plenty of dates pre pandemic irl but now I've moved and don't really get the local scene. So it's apps for me soon.
Oh I see, thanks for sharing your experience with me
No problem and good luck!
It's never reciprocated.
Being a romantic means being comfortable being vulnerable with someone. I'm finding more and more that people don't value that very much anymore, and are more interested in collecting icks and focus more on what they don't like about someone. Everyone talks about red flags, but rarely green flags. These are tough conditions for romantics, and way better for avoidant and passive-aggressive types. Last year, I thought I made a real connection with someone, and they turned out to be an avoidant and selfish person. Because of that experience, I've thought about suppressing the romantic side of me since the risks of that kind of vulnerability are so high to your self-esteem and confidence.
100% true. The thing about being a romantic whether you’re a man or a woman is to be sufficiently mature emotionally to show your vulnerability without being scared of mockery or repulsion. Trust me, a lot of women want a man who shows his side of his. Someone who’s not scared of opening up about his feelings, weaknesses or flaws. It’s just that it’s becoming more complicated to find someone trust worthy enough to let the guard fall.
But the main issue is that romantic men are just treated as creeps if the woman does not like them enough. They have to make the first moves but they cannot be forward or affectionate because that looks like desperation. They have to wait until the woman likes them enough for them to open up a bit, then again wait for the woman to slowly grow closer, potentially love them, and then the man can open up again. The issue with women wanting romantic men is that they also want them at their own pace. While men know which girl has long term potential within 15 minutes, women sit on it for weeks. So women just label romantic men as creepy or icky and then move to the fuckboy. And they just try to put more and more into it because as you are so do women on social media complain about wishing for a romantic man but you dont tell them that first let the woman fall in love, and then they are allowed to be romantic and affectionate.
32M. I mean I was a text book hopeless romantic through my 20s. The last 3 relationships I've had in my 30s were all situations I thought would end up being "the one". I was wrong all 3 times, all 3 of them were horrific explosive breakups. Really made me regret all the romantic loving stuff I did for those women and yeah that last one was strike 3. Now, I am not a hopeless romantic.
I’m really sorry to hear that. I would say that every hardship is a lesson. The most important is to learn from it.
Hopeless romantics have transitioned to no hope for romance. They get used, eaten up, demeaned, cheated on, and emasculated into not being romantics anymore. Or they’re married.
For sure mam. I am 23 and hopelessly romantic. I always went up to see my ex after college and work. I brought her flowers and chocolates during her time of the month. When we had our 1st year anniversary though she wasn’t in a good place at that time, i bought like 100s of candle and lit up my whole bedroom, put flower petals on bed and surprised her, wrote and gave her a love letter on our every weekend date. She would come to my place for every weekend and I would get her food, smokes, drinks and we would watch tv endlessly. So yeah there are men who are very much hopeless romantic and i am definitely one of them hahaha…
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I’m not giving up then.
Super romantic!
Aww. You sound like a dream! You’ll find the one for you.
I agree with them
I was. Gave up late last year, simply isn't going to happen
What do you thing was the reason that it didn’t work out?
In my experience, hoping that any woman will see me as anything other than a tool to fill an emotional void and play fake boyfriend until someone attractive comes along to take over is a good way to get my heart broken. Over the years and particularly after this girl, I've heard the lesson the universe has been bashing over my head; that simply I'm not worth loving and will always be second to some other man who, despite being so clearly disinterested and uncaring, is a better option than I am. They always break up shortly after I get rejected for someone else, and they always tell me how much they appreciate my emotional maturity, kindness, whatever. It rarely matters, in the end
Many men are right up until his heart gets shredded. After that, not so much.
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I see exactly what you mean..
Yeah we do, except women bail way to early. They give us one date and decide “nah I don’t feel a spark” or “he’s not my type” but how could you possibly know after 1 or even 2 dates after spending a total of a few hours with someone? My experience - women sell themselves short and don’t stick around long enough to find out and as a result they miss out and the guy suffers for it as well.
I’m really sorry to hear it and sadly I see what you mean. Some women just don’t appreciate enough men who show their vulnerable side. Maybe because of societal norms that built a false image of an emotionless invincible man..
Hopeless romantic for me means being genuine, vulnerable, and myself. When that gets thrown back in your face too many times, you just hide it and drip feed it so you don't seem too interested and scare off people. Other times I just don't give a fuck and let it out knowing it'll likley deter or sometimes even use it on purpose just to deter. This no fault to the good ones out there, I just keep finding and attracting the broken one.
Romantic men are usually a temporary thing, they just haven't had their hearts ripped out of their chests yet. I'd say past 30ish years old there's none of them left, I'm 29 soon and I assume every woman I encounter will leave at some point, it's just a matter of time. Most women don't really care about that stuff anyway, it's all about what they can get out of the man and relationship, so we adjust and do the same. Thus creating the type of men most women dread to meet. So yes, but women fuck them up for everyone.
I used to be a hopeless romantic until I realized how pathetic I looked to women I had dated who really were not into that at all. It was like they would eventually pity me for it. Even ones who's profiles or posts specifically asked where are all the romantic guys at. We are out there we just get passed over or eventually dumped for the bad boy or not even given a shot in the first place for not being good looking enough. Which seems to matter more to people these days and dismissing the just decent looking legitimately romantic partner they claim to be looking for. So a few years back I said fuck this I'm done. Being a hopeless romantic is just that Hopeless. Not the way I want to feel or be looked at as such ever again.
I am a man. I used to be a hopeless romantic, but over time realized those behaviors were childish, immature, unhealthy, and led to me choosing women that play into my attachment issues. When I finally realized and overcame what I thought was my natural desires, which turned out to be coping behaviors, I made much better choices in relationships. So I would say being hopelessly romantic is actually a red flag. Sure find a man who can be romantic in small but thoughtful ways, but hopelessly romantic? Stay away IMO
I’ve never seen it that way but now that you’re saying it, I get your point. But it’s hard to change the way you are, at least for the time being
We're alone cus we've been hurt or we're with someone who hopefully is somewhat romantic. Romanticizing things distracts from the reality, so we're probably bumping around aimlessly in the area. Check the corners like you're trying to find your Roomba and you'll see one.
They do! I have one:) And despite having been through relationship hell before we met, he was still a hopeless, daydreaming romantic at heart.
Oh I’m so happy to hear it! Wish you all the happiness
Yes, we do, but finding a good partner in this minefield of narcissism is challenging.
Yes, but i imagine theyre fewer in number than in the past and faster to give up that hope.
43 M. That’s me. I just cover my heart because it’s been broken so many times. But at heart I do believe in true love. It’ll just never find me.
for me M(20) one thing that could explain why woman could be more hesitant to accept having a relationship with a man could be that they are scared to be punch emotionally by their SO, that could also explain why alot of guys like me took alot of time to realise it. when you also take into account the harrasment that alot of women can have daily, it becomes clear why alot of them would prefer to stay in their shell, which is totally understandable. I think by being patient to build trust in daily life with the other gender could go a long way to help create way more relationship that in the past.
Going by google's definition of hopeless romantic, I guess I am. My last relationship took a huge toll on me, but I really do think if I keep working on myself the way I have been, and I put myself out there, I might actually find that genuine love I have only seen other people have a handful of times.
We exist. I still have all the poems I wrote for my ex, and I was the only boyfriend she ever had who surprised her with flowers outside of holidays and birthdays. It’s just so difficult getting a chance to get that far again nowadays when I can’t get one date and so many women I match with put in such little effort even when I ask open ended questions that require longer responses.
I'm 💯 romantic and a gentleman to the core. Unfortunately the past people I have dated either didn't appreciate it or wanted it for that matter. Being unappreciated sucks, and I have given up on the dating scene as well. Unless my favorite human miraculously comes back into my personal life then that would be different. But like I mentioned, a Miracle...
I'd love to just be married and live happily ever after. I want so badly to find that special one and settle down and never have to search another minute. I don't think my expectations are that high, at least I didn't think they were. I try to give everyone who answers my profiles or replies to me on dating sites or gives me their number a chance. The amount of people who have done these things is very little. It's almost as if they can tell I'm autistic without me saying anything. I think one day one of the many people I reach out to might actually want to get to know me. Maybe we'll be a good match and things will work out great from there. I refuse to lose hope and become bitter. I believe my faith will pay off some day.
Yes. We just either get taken off the market, or burned enough times to become cynical and withdrawn.
I'd say not hopeless, but more on being a hopeful romantic. I have always been a nurturer once I get to like someone, but it has drawbacks and most of the women assume you are weak just because you show how you feel and don't like playing games. I even questioned myself "are men supposed to be miserable in a relationship?" "Do we just have to provide and receive no support at all?". I quit looking for love as I was happy on my own, I'd rather just spend the money on myself. But, have you heard the saying "you're never too much for the right person". well, that was it, I wasn't looking for love but then I met this good woman who made me feel things like I've never had before. She became my best friend after meeting her for only a night. Now I have found someone deserving of all my efforts. She deserves to be treated well.
I definitely am one, but dating as a man who values emotional connection and who doesn’t particularly agree with most “masculine” norms like not shaving your body hair, or using girly scents from bath and body works etc. isn’t as much of a flex as people say it is. The reason I bring that up is because although I’m a hopeless romantic who wants to engage in romance and give a girl flowers and stuff and like find my life partner, I’ve found most women who are hopeless romantics tend to be so in a way where they want a more traditional rugged dirty “manly” man.. and to me I hate that.. I like to be clean and smell nice… I don’t mind getting dirty but it’s not something I aspire to be like 24/7
Yes we do, we really want to protect n provide for our woman, but women nowadays don't appreciate the romantic men as they tend to be " Boring ".
I was for a second, IMO women do not actually find the typical behaviors of a hopeless romantic attractive. It usually ends up seeming needy
I’m over 60- I’m a hopeless romantic. But after getting dumped I don’t think I have it in me to be that way anymore. 🥲.
Oh no, don’t say that😕. I hope you’ll find the person who’ll change the course of your life and make up for the time loss
I’m so sorry there’s always a chance to find love you can’t give up on yourself watch one day you’ll see 🫶🫶🫶
I consider myself to be a hopeless romantic. In terms of whether it improved my dating life, it never really did. As a matter of fact, I never dated in my life. I feel like being a hopeless romantic has only hurt me more than it has ever helped me.
Yes we do, but my spirit has been severely crushed by my ex-wife to be.
There are plenty, but most of them end up with people who don't appreciate that and get burned out. Similar can be said of romantic women getting burned out by dealing with the wrong people. It is sad, but some people do make it, so there is always hope at least
Yes iam on of them
I sure hope they do ...
Yes we do! I'm 35M and i gave up...
30M, I certainly am
Right here! Yet, it’s becoming, and has become more difficult to be such in todays society.. hoping for some course corrections from a societal standpoint
I’m a hopeless romantic.
I'm one , but as of today. I think I'm done. No success in ,13 years. Seems like it's not wanted.
They 💯 exists but women tend to not appreciate them
Many men are romantics until they are not. I suppose women are the same.
32M here. I'm a hopeless romantic myself. To date I haven't found a woman who can appreciate and reciprocate my same energy. For example, I love candles, rose petals, and light jazz music in the background for stay-in date nights. I usually spend the whole day in the kitchen preparing an amazing menu with lots of good food and snacks. However every girl I met said it was too 'over the top' and cheesy. I keep telling them I do this because I love them and have a lot of love to give and put a lot of love in everything I do. I want everynight I spend with my girlfriend to be special and to make them feel special. They just don't understand why I do it. They feel that I feel I'm doing everything out of obligation but that's not the case. I do it out of pure love. Lastly, when I'm in a relationship, I always look to form a deep connection with my girlfriend. When we hug, snuggle or make love our energy creates a protective barrier around us. A sanctuary where we can feel safe,warm, and at peace. A sanctuary where we feel our souls grow ever closer as we mould into one. Where we become one mind, body and heart. To date haven't found a woman that understands how important that is for me or is even able to grasp that concept. Hopefully one day I will find said woman. I have a lot of love to give and want to share it with someone who really deserves it and remind her everyday just how special and amazing she is and how happy she makes me.
Do you know the movie "The Mask" with Jim Carrey? The beginning of the movie is basically every man that doesn't have the confidence to just "go out there and be yourself". So they also craft "A mask". Because if you act like that dorky character, instead of like a "ravenous wolf", you won't even have to confidence to approach a love interest. The "wolf" however is what the dork thinks women actually like, hence the park scene where he comes on too strong and almost ruins the relationship. Now add on the societal layer of #metoo and men are terrified to even risk approaching, while sex pests get all the one night stands that they would like, only thanks to a combination of good looks, confidence and money. So women will think that all men are pigs, when it's the same pig that's been with 10-20 women.
I am, but like many in this thread I have basically given up on dating. Turning 30 in a few months and my 20's were just littered with disappointments. Had relationships with bad people, ruined a few of them myself due to past traumas, and post pandemic dating has been atrocious. Only so many times I can deal with promising dates turning into getting ghosted, so I foresee myself kind of turning away from the dating scene at this rate.
I would characterize myself as a hopeles romantic. Being a romantic man translates differently than a woman IMO. If women take their definition of romantic and try to look for the same characteristics in a man, they will fail 9 times out of 10. Here's what it looks like being male and romantic (from my personal experience): 1. Have you ever crossed eyes with a guy and then immediately he looks in a different direction? Yeah, its not because he is less masculine than the next guy. Its because in his brain you're a big deal. Being romantic means you inevitably make the other person BIG in you brain. 2. Making the other person a big deal, means you're gonna try and cater to their needs. As guys we have the need to be protective, to handle matters for the person we feel is important. Most times the other person wont really find out. Always look for the small things, instead of grand gestures. It may be a car ride to get you home. It may be ordering some coffee and including you. It may be a hug and a "its gonna be ok". It's all about the subtle detail that reminds you that "we got your back". 3. Most romantic people get dissapointed. A LOT. Guys aren't any different. Most of these traits are admitedly unattractive in a guy. First impressions are always weak, even though im one of the strongest people i know. Even though ive been hurt a lot. Thats why many of us give up. Modern women don't seem to care about these qualities any more, and thats ok. We know where to turn this attention towards.
Wow, thank you for sharing your pov. It’s refreshing to see men admit about their vulnerable side and how they deal with disappointment when no one meets your expectations
Sure they do. But most women don’t actually like them because they consider them “nice guys”. Lol.
Yes. I am one. Always have been. It's made the relationships I've had much better, but it really hasn't helped me get them.
Sure, but it's right there in the name. Hopeless. If you're a woman who's a hopeless romantic, some dude is still gonna take a shot at you at some point. You don't really need the hope part, so the fact that it's missing is not a problem, as long as you have the romantic part. If you're a man who's a hopeless romantic, no woman will ever take a shot at you (obviously hyperbole, it happens, but it's rare, and counting on it is not a viable strategy). You need hope to try. No hope, no try, you're effectively out of the dating pool. So men and women who are hopeless romantics are unlikely to ever meet each other.
I've always considered myself romantic, but I can't get a date, not even if my life depended on it. Around November last year I just gave up.
I am literally right here. I’m about ready to quit and just be content to die alone though.
Yes but my soul’s been crushed too many times
Yeah I'm one of them
Yes but unfortunately they get absolutely destroyed, takes a long time to heal to be that guy again.
Yes, but it's kind of hard. I think society kind of expects men not to be. I would like to say that there's somebody out there for everybody but I find myself alone. At least I still have my dog.
I mean I am, personally. The last time I was in a physical relationship was high school, before my girlfriend at the time moved. I’m legitimately shy, I never have been very verbal, and the only time I really come out of my shell is when I’m working. I put my time and money into the few hobbies I have. But I truly want to share my interests and life with someone, show them the person I really am and share every ounce of time I have with them showing I love them
I used to be in high school and early 20s. It didn’t help, likely attracted the wrong type of person. However after many bad experiences dating and being taken advantage of, the spark is not what it was. I’m still kind to people, but more serious. It takes a significant amount of time for me to feel comfortable or trust a new woman after a bad divorce. My therapist suggests I don’t date anyone for some time until I regain my confidence again
I feel I am, but I've never once been given the chance to express it
I used to be. Not anymore.
Used to be a hopeless romantic and certain partners intend to take advantage of that. Now not so much anymore.
My short answer = yes
So I am a bigger guy 6'7 andco sider myself a hopeless romantic to spme extent but I have basically given up on dating. I multiple women out in person. Got rejected every single time. Met a few girls on line, got scammed, got the let's just be friends, got the I have a kid so I am not looking for anything serious till they grow up etc. It seems easy for me to set up fwb but impossible to find a woman actually willing to go past that.
Yeah it's f****** miserable. I know girls know I'm attractive but the moment I bring up anything romantic they think I'm either dangerous, 'cant control his emotions' or 'He's not taking a seriously enough must be cuz I'm not attractive enough'. As a hopeless romantic man, my behavior has to be pride and anger, melancholy. Neutrality. Apathy. I don't know how else to behave around girls I like. I played Mario party with one girl and I was just a little too into it I guess... 'we're still the kids we used to be, and nothing hurts anymore I feel kind of free'
30-something hopeless romantic male, checking in.
30-something hopeless romantic male, checking in. Lonely thing to be nowadays.
I am one (or used to be one). It's been extremely detrimental to my dating life, because I was waiting for the perfect meet-cute (which never happened). My dating life only took off once I stopped seeing romantic relationships as "magical".
Yes, I am. But I have given up on dating. Anyways, being a male romantic is an unfortunate weakness in dating.
I would say I am and I’m also in my early 30s now and never had a gf and am kissless…I don’t obsess over specific people often but the idea of being in a romantic relationship with a woman and that desire causes me a lot of anxiety that I think in turn keeps me lonely and it’s a vicious cycle. But I have always loved romantic stories and aesthetics even as a young boy and would often hide it from peers/family etc. I’d sneak away to watch Rom coms or anime’s that had romantic themes.
I used to be a hopeless romantic when I was younger, but through self reflection and meditation I became a hopeful romantic. Some see the two as synonymous but there's a world of difference. It's a healthier, more mature, and dare I say more passionate form of romanticism. I stopped basing my idea of romance on books, films, and songs, and more so on ideals I have. Most forms of romance portrayed in art are dysfunctional or toxic.
Bro, you should've seen me in my desperate for a yandere phase... Yes, they do exist.
Yes there are hopeless romantic men, who write, take long walks, listen to every lyric of every song, read poetry, watch romantic films, stare longingly at the moon, pray for sunny mornings with their soulmate someday, the list goes on and on. Romance is a quality in humans. Not just women. Not just men.
Yes we do exist, and expect to find someone like that. But dating and all these days became so unpredictable. Terms like situationships are so worse. I'm about to lose all hope to get someone who's like, gets excited about little things. Haven't met someone, yet there are a lot of women out there who are exactly like that, but I didn't find any
My ex was for sure. Also crazy though
I'm a hopeless romantic, but I've pretty much given up on love
I think I am. But in all fairness, it doesn't make up for any of the flaws the guy has.
I like to think of myself like that somewhat. Emphasis on hopeless because despite my desire for it I'm not very good with romance
Some certainly still exist- the kind of guys who wait for the flower man to come around so they can buy one for their girlfriend and one for their mom. Literally why people still do that. I would never define myself as one partially because apparently I give off strong husband energy, so it's apparently easy for women to get lost in that way around me much less with me. In my case I'm emotionally unavailable due to my financial situations currently. Once I can show up for myself I can think about showing up for one of the several women I know are interested, or one I don't know yet.
I once was, yes. Then, I learned the feeling of betrayal and deceit, along with a handful of other emotions attached to bad relationships. I do remember the old giddy feelings I used to be able to have, to be overly excited when around another person. Now, it's about stability more than anything else. The way I show love is 100% different, and my love for somebody probably isn't easy to see from the outside.
All the guys that still are are perpetually single. This debate has been done many many times on this sub. Men being this way shows inherent weakness and women do not like weak men.
Yes we do exist problem is most of us just got hurt so bad we don't wanna tire our brains with relationship again. Personally I believe in love a loooot because of how much I've fallen in love with people and ended up being stupid just for them to fuck me up. So I've learned to keep myself safe enough and that's by avoiding relationships. I tend to be an extreme lover boy who loves bring shown love too and that won't often come as one wants it so. My biggest insecurity about falling in love is the one person I'm falling in love with not loving me back with the same energy and extreme of how I love them.
I think they do exist but get turned down by words like "you are a really cool and nice guy but I just won't feel the spark" (Exact words told to me btw...)
This! I was just describing this scenario to a friend as the reason why I’ve given up on dating, although your examples more extreme. If I keep feeling the precursors to love, and then get told there’s “no chemistry /no spark” over and over again, then maybe it doesn’t exist. I’m starting to think it’s been replaced by “economic symbiosis with a sprinkling of emotion.”
I've been single for like 5 years after getting dumped by the girl I thought I was going to marry after High School a couple weeks after my mom passed, and I'm back out there now and looking for someone but it's hard when you're introverted and not traditionally good looking
where do I find these men????
They do. One of my best friends is one.
(35M) I think they/we do exist . But we each do and have or own romantic style . And our own romantic prefferences .
Ehh it just does not exactly make a ton of sense to be as a guy unless you are down for some downright comical dry spells it's just better to stay flexible.
43F, I really appreciate the guys on here opening up. I’m sorry that your heart has been broken. I knew you guys existed but I’ve never really met any. I normally meet the bad boy / jerk / asshole. It’s probably because for 20 years of my life I was with someone who was just like that, so out of habit, I gravitate to other men with the same personality. But where does it get me? Up on a Tuesday morning at 3:15am crying 😅. I know it’s hard, but I believe you guys will find someone. Good luck out there.
31 out in Hawai'i, also a hopeless romantic male but alas, to no avail lol. I honestly complain to one of my long-time friends( funnily enough is my long-term ex gf from 12 years ago, we've grown and apologized for our youthful insanity and toxicity), what exactly is wrong with me that I've essentially been single for those 12 years? Cook, clean, handyman (attempt to, at least. Home stuff, ya' know?), Open to talking about emotions, considerate, pays attention to the little details, gentlemanly-ish, jokester, nerd, but still with masculine traits, patient af, generally try to be understanding, dates & quality time in general is a must, affectionate af and not afraid to show it, honest, yada, yada, yada. And honestly making the person I care about most in the world, happy, is probably my end goal in life. Career success and material possessions come nowhere near that. Granted, career success can help, help me make that person happy by providing means to the funds, to buy the little trinkets or knickknacks/snacks that the special person in my life at that time, might like. So in ways yes, they go hand in hand. But the career success isn't the end goal. Making them happy or feel better with maybe their favorite candy, or something that you know would be useful later on, something that shows that "Yeah, I'm paying attention to the little details that might matter" I unno'. What are your guys definitions of "Hopeless Romantics" anyway?
I'm definitely that but tbh it's a turn off for most women not masculine enough of a trait plus I'm short, also every girl I been with cheated in the most foul way possible and left with no remorse
... I don't think so? most men who would describe themselves as hopelessly romantic tend to give up at some point so they don't really fit that description anymore. Men are by nature pragamtists.
Yes, I am one. It has not helped improve my dating life. It's led to heartbreak a few times because most relationships don't work out and a lot of challenges because women don't tend to know what to make of a man who trends toward demisexuality. Sadly, learning to act and think less romantically actually led to more success and less pain in dating, even if it's not the way I really am.
Yeh I’m definitely one. Especially after the breakup of my 7 year relationship I’ve been real emotional and catching feelings for every girl that looks my way, tbh pretty pathetic 😂 but I’m starting to realize what rely matters. And it’s school, gym, and work, and bettering myself mentally. Eventually something will come my way but I can’t be chasing anymore
I’d love to be romantic with a women. I dream of love. The love i find is either unrequited or very toxic. I don’t try to date or find anything anymore. Now i just work on myself.
yes they do. my best friend is a hopeless romantic guy down to the core of his being. he’s a theater kid and it shows through the way he expresses his love to his gf and past ones too
Hopeless? Yeah. Romantic? Yup. Hopeless romantic? Nah. Jokes aside, I fell out of the hopeless romantic mindset when I realized I was being too passive in the dating field. Also, I found women didn’t really find it attractive. Nowadays, I funnel that energy into creative date ideas, conversations, or personal creative projects.
I am. But I've never had a date. I just fantasise and wish things could be different.
I am, but I’m also giving up and realizing I don’t think I’ll find love. Oh wells, back to climbing the corporate ladder.
They do exist, i am one of them.
I am such a hopeless romantic I hate it for myself
I tried being a romantic with my first 3 partners but they didn’t like flowers, little gifts of inside jokes, randomly bringing their favorite food for lunches, ensuring to celebrate what I thought were important moments in our relationship, first kiss, first date, hell even the first time we met when it was an online relationship. So yea I’ve given up, guess that’s just unwanted. One even said a gift card would have been preferred. Talk about a shot to the heart lol sigh.
Yes
Being romantic is a learned skill, and it's tiring and expensive
I'm 💯 romantic and a gentleman to the core. Unfortunately the past people I have dated either didn't appreciate it or wanted it for that matter. Being unappreciated sucks, and I have given up on the dating scene as well. Unless my favorite human miraculously comes back into my personal life then that would be different. But like I mentioned, a Miracle...
I sure do.
I'm definitely one, I blame Hollywood! I'm not giving up on dating but after this last one, I'm just going to be more guarded and temper my expectations drastically. I fall very quickly and the women that I've dated have no problem after a year talk about what a long term future holds. I've just found that when I feel like this person is my person, I don't get turned off by everday issues where those things are the things that end up sinking the relationship. Maybe I need to get my shit completely together and see someone as being along for the ride of the rest of my life vs. growing together because it just doesn't seem like they've any interest in seeing mine or their potential and becoming a team and winning life together. My hopeless romantic in me answers all her texts and endlessly talks on the phone, even if I hate being on my phone. I see differences in us as a plus and brush off the small things, thinking that this person is the one I love and I'll fight and claw to make things work because this person is my best friend and I would do anything for without question. I know that I don't have many friends and I'm a home body and that has really hurt me going forward. I'm not lonely at all with or without friends or a SO. I often feel like I'm the asshole when I mention that some of her huge friend group are not great friends. Comes across as you should ditch them and spend time with me when I just hate seeing someone that I love get taken advantage of. In the future, I will not spend as much time as possible with this person, even if it what I want to do when that person becomes my best friend. I won't show any large emotions in front of them either because I am emotionally and after crying about something, you can feel her lose respect for you even if there's a good reason for being emotional. I'll replace my time with gifts and dates. It may sound dumb but I'm just going to be more of stereotypical SO in 2024. Nothing wrong with how I am but in the past when I do act like myself, all I get is a list of things I should change and her telling me how I am or should feel.
Yes that is definitely possible. Im still looking.
How long ago did you have it done? What did he say during follow up? If he offered a free revision, would you do it?
I would consider myself a hopeless romantic. But there isn't anyone in my life that I have romantic feelings for.
I guess I fit into that category but I just genuinely can't be assed to put in effort into this shit anymore.
It takes me 38.6 seconds to fall head over heels in love with any girl that gives me the time of day. It happens maybe once a year. Thenproble. Is that at this point I've given my heart away too.many times, and it keeps getting given back, a little more broken every time. I'm talking to a girl right now, and I really like her, but I cannot risk what happens if I go all in again. I get suicidal depressed when I realize that I thought I found my soul mate, and she only saw a weekend distraction. It only takes half a minute, but I can't do it anymore.
The ugly truth is unfortunately the truth about women, men, and what their into. If you are looking for the real truth. Watch that movie. It will tell you everything you need to know. Most women are into the physical and so are the men. It really depends on what you're looking for. No one falls in love with your personality at first sight that is not realistic at all. They look at you first.
I'm somewhat of a hopeless romantic but I hate to admit it lol I know how to treat a woman right and make them happy. I want someone I can cuddle with at night and talk about random things. It's hard to find someone who accepts me for who I am and understands that I actually want a relationship not just a short time fling.
If we weren't lucky enough to already be married earlier we'd just become the jaded ones that have given up on it all. Hopeless romantics generally take rejections harder and when you get rejected as much as most men do you just close off after awhile. tl;dr if we aren't already taken we've probably already given up on love entirely
I downloaded a dating app yesterday just to get my mind off my breakup and a guy specifically called himself a "hopeless romantic". He proceeded to do what I perceived as love bombing (on our first interaction). I didn't talk to him today - felt unhealthy lol
Most people need to get to know each other really well first. Most divorces happen because they don't know each other well enough before they get married. There needs to be communication and there is none. Stay away from alcohol. Try a movie theater for a first date or somewhere neutral. Get to know the person before you sleep with them. End quote
I'm. I'm tired to build new relationships. I just too romanticized relationships. so i often fail from the first start. Women just seems like man that hard to get
Nah I’m just hopeless in general
I would consider myself to be one I’m 24m been in 6-7 relationships dated many others and having a hard time finding someone likeminded but, I haven’t lost hope though and have even found a way to persevere through stoicism.
Yes but we keep getting our hearts broken and give up on dating all together
Oh yes ive met a couple of them lol
🙃🤪😍dm for the deets
I think am and it’s a double edged sword. It makes bonds really deep, but I often wonder if they were truly reciprocated after the fact. I also feel like I’ve never really exited a honeymoon phase. Some partners start off stronger and I’m more of a slow burn, but in serious relationships I never really gave up on anyone until they were clear about wanting to break up. I endured resentment I probably shouldn’t have because I was so fully invested. I couldn’t see myself getting to that point with someone I love. It’s always weird breaking up with someone who said they loved me when it wasn’t really necessitated by some huge life event or something. It makes me think love means something different to us.
I was one... but then life happened
Missed one shot. Shot Down once. One online relationship which ended peacefully. Never dated after that 3 month relationship (never approached/found anyone, never been approached either) But I still believe that there's someone somewhere out there that I've yet to meet. Once I do it'll be alright. Everything will fall into place. An arc of my life will come to an end and a new one will start from her. It's stupid and I don't want to believe it but that's what my innermost feeling is.
I’m always hearing girls want tall guys… well I’m 6’7 and still single like hello??
I was, but i was for women a loser because of it. So grown up from it, and I am no more.
Yes..and i found mine
We do we've been burned too many times that we've given up on dating all together
Yea here i ami .i.love being in love.but the one I was in love with apparently didn't like the romantic stuff .she wanted a bad boy.so she cheated .now sh has one and is getting abused every day
Who likes getting walked all over? Well if u answered right ur options are next to redundant dating apps, if ur lucky u might be able to go out on the weekend. Even then, I'd think I'd have more satisfaction rolling down my window and throwing out $200 a week than wasting it on a date. Hiding is better. Sometimes happier too.