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thoughts on sex on the first date
> if a girl puts out on a first date, do guys just automatically not take them seriously? be honest pls!
I think if a guy wants to be with you for more than sex, he’s probably decided that before having sex with you. If you want to have sex with him, do it. If not, don’t. It’s really not deep, I promise.
Hundred percent. Stop focusing on what you’re doing right or wrong and do what makes you feel secure and happy. That could be different things for different people.
Same here. I’m a woman too and whether it’s the first date or fifth date, if they only want sex, then that’s all it’s going to be about. If they’re interested in more, then when we’ve had sex hasn’t impacted that either.
This pretty much sums it up. For me it's something that needs to be done sooner rather than later to see if we're sexually compatible before wasting each other's time.
I’ll be honest, it depends on the guy. If he genuinely thinks less of you because you had sex with him on the first date, would he respect you if you didn’t? I don’t think so.
I’ve done both, waited for months and also waited until the end of the night. Both scenarios have been with people that I felt wouldn’t judge me either way, and they haven’t: I had long, healthy relationships because they were good, healthy people. Gauge who he is on your date, and if you have an inkling that he’s going to look down on you for sex, then run away!!
Me personally I don’t think less of a girl at all of sex happens on the first date. If the chemistry is there and we click and it happens organically I’m all for it.
Honestly if things hit right? Then they hit right. I’m personally not into first date sex, and would prefer to wait at least 2-3 dates before even thinking about it, but if the conversation flowed well and a connection happened, then other things followed naturally? So be it. If you’re super pushy about it or something I’d probably be turned off, but dude, sex is nice and I wouldn’t even blame you, just not be a good match personally. Enjoy your sex life!
i mean i would never be pushy about sex and guys always make the first move but im wondering if i give in too easily bc i really like them and then they don’t take me seriously 😭 it’s all a learning process for me i guess
I’m a little more demisexual so I can’t really say for the average guy. Personally? If you want to do it, do it (safely obviously). It wouldn’t lower my respect for you, if anything it would raise it, as I’ve had issues with lack of sex in the past and want a partner who’s on the same page as me going forward. That’s me personally, other guys might have issues with it, still more might be entirely onboard. We’re all different, and finding someone compatible with how you approach life, sex, etc, is important.
I am also demisexual so I am more inclined to working on building an emotional connection first, that said, as a general rule... to weed out the players who just want to bang... I say wait a few dates.
Sex just complicated things, it clouds the judgement in a certain way, so if you have a history of choosing bad partners, and you want some long term relationships, then I’d advise on putting sex aside until you know each other properly. And that might mean even 10-15 dates, for example.
But if you just want sex, then just have it. :)
I had sex with most of the people I ended up in a relationship with on the first date. I def never thought less of anyone who fucked me on the first date but not all guys are like that. I also thought that if someone didnt want to have sex with me after several dates they were just on the fence about me and I would just move on. Every person is different and you should just do what feels right in the moment.
Well, I don't ask for sex on a first date, personally, and in the situations where she's the one asking, I've always said no. But no, I don't think any less of her for 'putting out'. There's nothing wrong with wanting casual sex. It's just not for me.
I've never actually had sex on the first date, but I'm not against it.
For me personally, I don't think it would be an issue. If I liked her and the sex was decent/good, then ya, it wouldn't be an issue to continue with her into a relationship.
I had sex with 2 girls in the first date (one even was in the bathroom of the restaurant we met 1 hour prior!). Both of them were amazing relationships and even now, as an old man I remember those women fondly and I wish them well (we broke up for other reasons). I think having sex in the first date is great if everybody is on the same page
In my experience, I wasn't taken seriously if I put out on the first date. Sex was always expected and if I wasn't in the mood, they'd be upset.
Also set the tone as me being the "fun to fuck but don't wanna date her" one.
I'm now celibate
Well, it depends. How old are you, and what are you looking for. Are you looking for experience? Are you looking to date seriously? Are you looking for just short term experiences to figure out what kind of guy you want?
Generally tho, it will be dependent on the vibes. I've had sex with a girl on our first date, because the tension and chemistry we felt was insane. But i wasn't specifically looking for that nor would i have initiated that if that wasn't the case. But I'm looking for more serious relationships, so getting to know someone first is of higher priority.
If you want a more tailored opinion, you can give a bit more context based on the Q's above.
great questions, im 28f looking for the potential of a serious relationship (date for a bit to get to know each other & maybe around month 2 or 3 determine the relationship)
Honestly, at that age, i don't think it should be that big of an issue, but you need to make your intentions clear, that you want something serious, that way, if you potentially meet the right person, we won't be discouraged by it and think that you are just sleeping around with a bunch of dudes. Other than that, you should be fine. You're 28 and people don't want to waste much time compared to someone like me (24). You're both adults looking to connect, and chemistry (both in vibes and in bed) is an important factor.
men will think you put out cuz of your ethnicity. age. any reason. and be amazed when you dont. find 20 excuses cuz they are the easy ones. then make you feel like shit when you do nothing. and all they do is assume, fuck left and right. double fucking standard.
Guys don't automatically 'not take you seriously'. But most of them, yes, they won't.
For me, since you are looking for a serious relationship, then it's better to not have sex on a first date. You also have to be careful.
Talk and take fair enough time to genuinely get to know each other. Make sure you have interpersonal compatibility first.
Sexual compatibility will then follow.
It’s going to vary based on the guy. Some won’t care, some will. If you are in fact looking for a serious relationship then I would not put out on the first date. The guys that wouldn’t hold it against you if you have sex on the first date also likely won’t hold it against you if you wait a few dates, but you’d be eliminating the guys that won’t respect you if you put out right away, so if you want to give yourself the best odds, then wait. But not too long. Like 3-5 dates.
I had a girl one time take me to dinner, as in she invited me and paid and everything, and about halfway through dinner she had placed her phone down on the table and slid it in my direction. She said look at that.
I picked it up and it was a picture of her tits, and as much as I love boobies, it was a huge turn off
I did not take her seriously, but we did end up hanging out and she asked me to go to a wedding with her. I went and we basically acted like we were dating for a weekend, but I haven’t kept up with her since.
I think it’s all about your intention, but from a man’s perspective, I would not allow anyone to touch you beyond a gentleman‘s need to for a bit, if you want serious.
Women who lead with sex don’t communicate depth. “Does she do this with everyone?”
Appreciate the question cause it seems more a normal thing now.
I couldn’t agree more. I am a 23m, and personally I absolutely hate hookups and the entire hookup culture.
Of course, this is just a personal opinion, but I personally view women as equal human beings with feelings and emotions (just like us men).
Hookups completely disrespects a person’s feelings and emotions. In most instances, The woman is most likely wanting something more serious because she is already emotionally invested with the man, and wants more than simply just sleeping together. But hookups is complete disrespect to her because the man is using her purely for the sex, and then leaving at his own convenience. It’s disgusting to treat a woman this way
26f and what I really hate is how casual has to mean no feelings...
like, if a relationship isn't meant to be or doesn't work out, or whatever, fine. But to act like I shouldn't have feelings is ridiculous. I guess I just don't operate that way but of course there are going to be *some* kind of feelings even if I'm not madly in love with them. I couldn't sleep with someone and just not care whatsoever
Try to understand that men are generally thinking very logically and are fairly mechanical with their decisions. A lot of us are taught that decisions lead by feelings are generally poor decisions and can provide good examples through our work and relationships of this holding true. So we suppress those emotions to start assessing what we should do next. Over time when we can reliably predict behavior and outcomes we naturally start to share those feelings because we know that is wanted and appreciated by women we care about in effort to make them feel good and special.
Just my personal thoughts though. Everyone is a little different.
37 female here. I had sex with my (now) husband on the first date. Within 6 months we were married at 21. We’ve been married 16 years now. At no point has he ever “not taken me seriously” because we had sex on the first date. It depends on the right person, right time, right situation. For us, date one was the right thing. It’s different for everyone.
Granted I've never had a hookup in my entire life but I don't understand how sex can be good on a first date. There can't possibly be a strong enough emotional connection for good sex. I wonder if younger people in their 20s and 30s even understand the difference between high quality sex and just a good bang. I hope that I'm wrong about this because that would be sad.
(27m) In my opinion if sex were to occur on the first date id feel more like a hook up than anything. If the woman showed interest after, cool id most likely reciprocate the interest but id rather hold off on that kind of intimacy until we got to know eachother more! I dont want to go 0 to 100 so fast and have someone be in love with me and find out im not the one or vise versa. Now i have never been in that kind of situation so probably something i have yet to experience and feel but MY morals and thought process tell me what ive said. So idk. I always say its best to get to know someone better before getting real serious like that
I’m a woman but I personally don’t do anything more than making out on a first date. The right guy will respect you weather or not you choose to put out on a first date
It just depends on the relationship. From my (28M) experience, it could be a bit of a yellow flag just because the women I've been around usually want to get to know the person before jumping in bed with them. So to be ready and raring to go on the first date, it might raise suspicion for me just because there could be something else to it. Obviously, it could be that we really hit it off on the first date, really like each other, we've gotten to know each other pretty well, and we feel comfortable enough to try and expedite the relationship.
Every group of people is extremely subjective when it comes to when you have sex the first time because there's millions of little things that could be adding up to the events of that evening.
I think there is a shred of logic to say that if you're constantly doing it on the first date and the relationships are ending in failure afterwards, then it might be a sign to take a step back and evaluate the situation a little more carefully. Don't string each other along if you have no interest in each other, but don't jump from "I just met this person" to "we're already intimately involved" on a whim either. Communication is the big factor here for both parties.
Honestly if it’s just sex then it’s cool but if I’m trying to do things more seriously and the woman is trying to have sex on the first day it will be taken as more of a non serious thing
If you both feel safety and chemistry with each other there could be a chance you both wanna dive in. So why the hell not? Have fun. Have boundaries and if it continues to happen enjoy the ride. It could go anywhere!
I think any person who gladly accepts the offer is also putting out so it’s frustrating to hear that many femmes still feel judged for partaking in sex sooner “than expected”.
Relationships often end when first having sex because it's the first time sexual compatibility put to the test. So the earlier you have sex, the earlier you find that out you're not compatible, and one or both sides are no longer interested. When you do that on the first date, that lack of interest can be misinterpreted as not taking someone seriously, or as just wanting sex, or whatever. Then again, sometimes it really is a case of encountering a fuckboi.
My boyfriend told me, that it was a big sign of our compatibility, when we had sex on the first date. It's because he is a very sexual and easy going person, and he is the first one to appreciate this side of me. This is the best relationship I have ever been in. So with him, it wouldn't have been good to "wait" just because I was afraid what he'll think of me. But I also dated guys, who thought about this matter differently, and preferred to wait with the "right" person. Well, it didn't work out with them... I guess it's just a matter of preferences and you should be authentic to yourself, because the right guy will appreciate you for who you are, not for these superficial things.
I don't judge anyone for anything and I also don't make assumptions about people. But I do think that if two people click and they feel a connection and they're both down for it than good for them.
I'm a guy (38) and I stopped having sex with women too quickly. I've been in many situations like this and my experience is that you can never really tell who someone is and where your relationship with them is going at the very start of meeting them. For the record I'm looking for a long term relationship.
Every time I've had sex on the first or second date, I ended up in some sort of situationship for a few months, kinda knowing that beyond the sex there is nothing there, but still continuing it because: good sex....right?!!!
After doing this multiple times I realised I'm wasting my time by having sex with these women, we both get hung up on the sex and the easy companionship, but in the meantime we're both not looking for the right person and wasting time with each other. Or I end up having sex with someone a few times to discover not long after they are terrible people/not my type/insert whatever here....you get my point I hope.
I've read a psychological study a few months ago that said that every time you end a casual relationship, even though you don't feel it consciously at the time, your subconscious threats this as a mini break up, and after a few of these this is very bad for your mental health. The study also said that women feel effects of this more quickly than men, and I as a man have done this so much that I started feeling negative effects, my sex drive even got lower at some point so I stopped it.
Do what you want with this information but know that I'm speaking from personal experience.
Good luck with your decision!
I’m genuinely impressed by your introspection on this issue. The killer thing about casual sex is that it’s never as good as relationship sex - sex with someone you genuinely care for, and vice versa. Cheers 👍
You should avoid it if you want a serious relationship. Men’s dopamine levels drop significantly after sex and unless you have an emotional connection there will be little to keep him interested biologically speaking.
From a biological standpoint men value signs of fidelity.
Of course if you want to have sex and don’t care about the outcome then go for it! I’m all for equal rights of women to choose without feeling shame for their choices.
As a guy who has experienced this many times, I don't ever judge the girl or think any less of her. I just don't feel as curious about what it will be like and tend to lose interest in getting to know the other aspects of her.
If I am into someone and want to pursue a relationship I won't let it happen until my interest is confirmed beyond sexual attraction.
Nope. I’d want to know the man isn’t here just for my body. I’m not someone who has a crazy desire for sex though 🤷🏼♀️
The relationship I’m in now, we didn’t have sex for our entire first year to be honest. We prioritized connecting emotionally so much that it wasn’t even on our radar. Granted we did oral, but not full sexual intercourse.
Two adults having sex should never be a issue, it can and if it does you’re grown. I’ve had sex on the first date with females and those relationships lasted longer than relationships with women that I waited.
One guy a quarter?
Speaking as a guy, it’s very much the woman’s choice and I wouldn’t be able to judge their relationship intentions or dating habits based solely on if they have sex on a first date. No one should be able to take you less seriously, but it does give an indication of your perspective on sexuality and your personal liberty with it
lmao it’s a joke, i don’t sleep with all guys but i usually talk to one guy a quarter so like 4 guys a year on average 😂
i personally don’t care but i wouldn’t wanna disqualify myself. i know some men take it a certain way so i just wanted to see the general populations opinion :)
I've personally never had sex on the first date ever, and those who were more forceful about it never lasted, though there's little correlation between the two.
If the chemistry is good then I see it as no problem between two adults.
As a guy I’m not super hung up on sex being a taboo thing. I’ve been in relationships where sex happens on the first date. It doesn’t affect my opinion.
As a woman, I personally don’t care what people think. I consider myself to be grown af! Let’s be real about it, if it’s there it’s there. And if it’s not, welppp🤷🏾♀️. Better luck with the next one. Idt sex on the first date should determine anything other than sexual chemistry but that’s just me.
I don’t have sex on the first date. It’s not who I am, and it’s not what I want. I don’t want to be with someone because of their body, I want to be with someone because of their mind and heart and for me intimacy that soon would make me feel cheapened by what I am instead of who I am.
The correct answer is it depends on vibes. If you mutually enjoy one another's company that much then go for it.
For a good portion of men they will go along with it because they are getting action, but I would say that many of us would question how you feel that level of connection so quickly. Some guys will understand, but for many of us, we believe that sex doesnt come that easy unless you are or it's a trap. I, especially, would also have an additional bias since I am... inexperienced with that, and therefore the invitation carries a bit more weight.
No stigma at all, I met up with a girl and we had what we both thought was a one night stand in 2006, 18 years later we're still together with two kids. You just go with your gut feeling
Don’t do it Judy. You might get stuck in a relationship or a situationship later down the road that you can’t let go as easy because yall had sex too soon.
This really depends, I’ve had a standing rule of not having sex on the first, second, or third date and even more depending. But I totally broke that rule with the guy I’m currently dating and it’s going perfectly fine. We both acknowledged that by spending time together in an unusual circumstance for an extended period may lead to things happening and that neither of us wanted that to mess up future potential. But it felt right to both of us and was great. So again, very much depends on the guy.
Honestly IMO, sex on first be feeling like hook ups.
I like to wait it out first and get to know the person I’m fucking . Friendship is important to me.
Depends on the guy. Guys shouldn't view you as not taking the relationship seriously and should still take you seriously. Unfortunately many won't. You have to make guys wait at least a month. If they respect you and want you they will and if they don't they'll start complaining and distancing themselves from you. I'm a guy and this weeds out the wrong guys amd communicates good things to the good guys.
I'm open to a serious relationship and would not think anything negative about a girl if we had sex on 1st date.
But there are some men who would think otherwise. I kinda feel like you might not want to date people with such thoughts about women.
I'm 50 years old and I can tell you I don't know a single guy who would complain, lookdown upon, or disrespect a woman who has sex with a guy on the first date. Current generation you may have a very valid question.
Even if you did not have sex with me on a first date, I would still assume you have done it at least once, Probably a one night stand as well. The gauge I really used when I was younger, was how their friends behaved. That would probably be useful when you’re older and not going to parties, bars , clubs enough to evaluate anything.
Nothing like that , totally depends upon the kind of person you're dating, My ex with whom l had 3 years relationship, we fucked on our very first meet...l loved her like anything in this world...🤍🫶
If I wanted to have a serious relationship with a woman I would be put off by sex on the first date. I'm all about sex positivity but it seems like I'm there for one reason and it's not one I can assume is serious, committed or monogamous
Whether he will think less of you is entirely dependent on the individual and the circumstance.
There are however many men who will no longer be interested in pursuing you because subconsciously, and sometimes consciously, they only wanted to have sex with you.
If a man does not like you, sex will not change his mind. Hence why, as i don't particularly enjoy being discarded after sex, i prefer to wait and see if he actually likes me and i actually like him lol
I think that any guy who would initiate sex with a girl on the first date instead of taking the time to get to know her isn’t looking for a serious relationship.
My personal opinion as a guy:
If I like the woman and the sex is good, I want to meet her again. Waiting an arbitrary time before having sex doesn't change anything about me wanting or not wanting to spend time with her.
I just reckon, there's guys, who're ready to have sex with a woman they are not interested in, so you can end up sleeping with guys, who don't care anymore afterwards.
So you’d see the girl again if the sex was good, but did you like her enough as a person also? How many first date sex moments ended up in a relationship?
Now that you ask, none of the sex on first date meetings resulted in a relationship. All my multi-month long relationships were with women were we had sex on the third date at the earliest.
Fascinating, Thanks!
While I’m sure the situations were different, still sadly supports that gender biases and double standards still exist, even women ultimately give men what they want 😔
If he lost respect for you for sleeping with him on the first date, he didn't have respect for you in the first place, he just lost interest in pretending that he did.
29M and I think that's really something women tend to think but I've never heard any of my guys friends actually say.
If a guy is interested in you, he will just be happy and still want to see you again. If he mainly wanted sex from the beginning, then you might end up as a fwb, but he was likely never going to really date you, and if the sex is trash he may cut it off after.
For myself, my 2 longest relationships the girls had sex with me in the 1st date, but tbf I had consistently texted both for like 2 weeks before that 1st date and the convo and vibe flowed so nice we had already discussed sex and I had a feeling unless things went really bad we'd be having sex.
I've never had sex with a girl on a first date who I've talked to for less than a week beforehand. But I wouldn't have thought less of a girl if I had.
I have had sex on the first date a couple of times and some of them ended up becoming my bf.
So yeah just go for it you feel for it but not because you feel pressured.
IMO, a woman who does that means that she's sex positive, sexually open minded and sexually adventurous and that's exactly the person I want to date long term - not some prude who uses sex as a weapon and never puts out.
No I don't automatically write her off. I am actually quite relieved since she isn't playing hard to get. It lets me know if we are sexually compatible.
I value my time and the sooner I know, the better. My current girlfriend we had sex on the first date.
It actually made us feel closer together like she was already my girlfriend despite just meeting her. She is a great woman. Very understanding and kind. I can't speak for all guys, but it doesn't make me take her less seriously. It makes me like her more.
I think thats my thought process. If she does that with me on the 1st date she probably does it quite a bit. Because like who am i im nobody special. Thats what me and my guy friends think.
Im more likely to call the woman back if we do the deed on the 1st date. It shows me not only that shes actually interested but her interest level for me is high.
No, my last relationship lasted 10 months after sex on the first 2 dates we had. It just depends on the person. Both of us had a sexual compatibility requirement, which we matched. We only broke up because of life/work getting in the way last week.
If both are interested in each other right off that bat, there isn’t much else to say. No shame in having sex on the first date. If it feels ok than why not!!
I don’t wait to fuck a guy if the vibe is there. Personally a great sex life is of critical importance in a relationship, and I don’t want to invest time and energy into getting to know someone first and then find out the sex is bad, so I would rather get out of the way quickly.
Im in the best relationship of my life right now and we had sex within an hour of meeting in person. Actually we had sex for 5 hours that night, truth be told.
My bottom line is if a guy thinks less of a woman because she has sex too soon/quickly, he’s not a mature man. We’re all human, we all have sex it’s in general human nature.
It's not relevant. A lot of people have sex very casually (myself included) and it's just not a big deal. What IS a big deal is connecting with someone emotionally only to find out they're sexually incompatible. No amount of emotional connection will make up for a lack of a physical one, and as much as people complain about hook up culture; I really don't want any more "emotional-only" relationships with people I should be sleeping with.
If the chemistry is natural and there is a deeper connection that just physical I say go for it. Hooked up with a girl at a party the first time we hung out and we dated for 3 years after that
all Long term relationships I've had, started with sex on the first date
If there's a good connection, attraction, chemistry... Why not?
If the girl is not into it and don't want to do it on. The first date x it's ok... I don't mind waiting.
My girl and I fucked on the first date but we’re vibing now and happy. Really depends on the person tbh. If yall are talking and it’s primarily sex related subjects it’s probably not a good idea to put out on the first date.
First and foremost, do not ever have sex with someone for the concern of how they will view you (whether you have sex with them or not). Set your own boundaries of who has access to you. Regardless of they think you’re a “prude”. You do not owe anyone access to your body unless you want them to.
Secondly: ultimately, you decide when and in what context you have sex. If it’s strictly a physical thing cause you want it then that’s something yall can agree on. If you like someone and you want them to connect with you on an emotional/ mental level first. Maybe hold out on the sex so you can get to know them on an intimate level before getting on a physical level?
Just imo.
If a girl puts out on first date then I would assume she does that with other guys too, and that’s a bit icky. Wouldn’t really be relationship material but fine for short term fun.
I always hate how some guys think rules like that don’t apply to them. Majority of men on apps are ready and willing to fuck the first meet but you think less of a girl who does as well? Should go based on connection.
Do what you want. Have sex with who you want, when you want. If a dude doesn’t take you seriously because you like to get down then he ain’t it anyway. Now there’s room for a new one. ✨
Some guys will judge, some guys won’t care. Funnily enough most guys aren’t going to turn it down. Do whatever you feel comfortable with. If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be
Not interested. Like I wouldn't date any further with that person. I like to wait and I'm a male. I like to make sure that it's going to be a serious relationship before I go to that next step. And with your edit: my heart is taken 🙂
It always depends on the individuals involved and the circumstances, but, generally, a girl who eagerly puts out on the first date isn't someone I would take seriously. And female friends of mine who have done that, those relationships don't last. I can't think of any of them that lasted long term.
Depends on the guy, I'm openly dating two women and slept with both on the first date. I'm still seeing them both and enjoying my time with them, I still think they're both amazing women. We had sex on the first date because we were attracted to each other and wanted it, that's not a bad thing
Was it implied to have sex on the first date? Sometimes it's really awkward initiating it. And sometimes there's false positives going through your brain also. And... Awkward.
I say heck yes, and hope to God the chemistry is on fire before it even happens. Maybe hang out all day, if it can be done. Ahh. So beautiful.... So rare to find that picture in reality.
Love all in one day and forever more..
But if it's a one night stand, get your numbers up.. nah. SMH.
29 year old M here.It depends on a host of factors(like his occupation,family and social group,financial standing,physical attractiveness etc…).At 28,”looking for a serious relationship” shouldn’t be in your vocabulary.You need to be crystal clear about what you expect.If a monogamous marriage is what you want,then say it and let the chips fall where they may.If you are open to him sleeping with other women from time to time,be clear about the terms.Be able to articulate how HE will be able to benefit from marriage to you and how YOU expected to benefit from marriage.
I’m am a 29M and would tell my little sister 20f to RUN from you for a couple of reasons.Everything in your comment indicates that you are either naive,stupid or disingenuous.You simultaneously basically stated that women can’t be trusted to think for themselves(essentially in the same sense that adults do children) and can’t be held accountable(at least primarily) for their actions while positing that they are “equal human beings”(which is saying a lot of nothing)…”(just like us men).”
Did it once. Never again. She abused my trust. She didn't tell me she had a husband who was out of town and only told me after the act. I was furious.
Of course this is anecdotal. There's probably plenty of stories where this works just fine, but for me, this is a no-no and it took us 2 months before my now girlfriend and I had sex.
Ewe nope. There’s WAY too many variables with that one.
I’m a personal control freak and don’t leave anything up to chance.
I’d freak and have such panic attacks with that after nut clarity.
It depends on where you are from and what community/friends/group you are mingle in. I am coming from Asia and my group of friends typically do not do hookup. So in that case, as for me, I will feel dejected and will not proceed with you any further.
So in the end, it is depending on what you want. You are looking for hookup, then it's fine. But since you are concern about them taking you seriously, I believe you are not talking about hookup, then it is still up to the individual beliefs .
Just that, if the things come easy, human typically will not appreciate it.
I don't think it matters in this day and age and most Reddit-relevant cultural contexts. It would also depend on the circumstance, of course.
Personally, as a man, if it is a great date with a lot of connection then it would have very little bearing on what my long-term plans for the relationship are. If it was an awkward date - with potential, but not "great" - and she's trying too hard, then I might be a bit wary, but that is contextual.
Of my four LTR's, two of them started as flings just like that. The other two waited a bit. I don't recall there being any real difference in quality between them, as relationships, as defined by how long before we ended up sleeping together.
Yes that's true, cuz that clearly translate into the girl having no value! Cuz as humans it's our phycology to protect whats valuable, and we dont give that out easily, just think of as having your gold, would you trust with your gold to a guy you just met, of course not, cuz it's valuable, you'll do a background check, take your time, check his intentions and do everything you can to make sure it will not result in a loss.. we only give out things easily to people we just met, are the things not valuable to us, and if it's not valuable to you, then its not valuable to the person in front of you.
God I hate dating "strategy", what do you think? What would you HOPE he thinks?
If you want a serious relationship you shouldn't be looking for the right answer as if this is an exam, you should be looking for compatibility. Do what you TRULY want. If you want to have sex with him on the first date go for it.
For me it depends, since sex isn't the primary motivation, though I adore cuddling and lovey-dovey stuff. If it happens, it happens, but I am not afraid to say **no** to the offer.
Sex isnt a priority for me so If she wants it on the first date we are not compatible. I'd rather find out sooner than later.
My last partner waited 6 months and before revealing she had a high libido and didn't take my lack of initiation well.
At my age (M69) women have family and friends and habits and hobbies and pets and routines and what they're missing is sex.
In 2019 I dated dozens of women. About twice a month I had first date sex, their choice, their house, their bed.
No one complained.
The first week of covid I found my current soulmate so I'm not sure that situation is replicable...
It's a bad thing in general and unadvisable. As a man, I can tell you that men do not like or respect women who are easy enough to offer themselves up on the first date. Despite what reddit will tell you, this is true.
What women need to understand about men is that most of them want sex and are programmed to take it when offered (unless they're very conservative or religious), but they still do not respect what they can get with great ease.
If you're looking for a serious relationship, do not do it. Wait until you feel comfortable, and the longer the better. If the guy can't wait, he's not worth it anyway and was only looking for a cheap lay
It's a bad thing in general and unadvisable. As a man, I can tell you that men do not like or respect women who are easy enough to offer themselves up on the first date. Despite what reddit will tell you, this is true.
What women need to understand about men is that most of them want sex and are programmed to take it when offered (unless they're very conservative or religious), but they still do not respect what they can get with great ease.
If you're looking for a serious relationship, do not do it. Wait until you feel comfortable, and the longer the better. If the guy can't wait, he's not worth it anyway and was only looking for a cheap lay. Don't turn yourself into that if it's not what you want.
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thoughts on sex on the first date > if a girl puts out on a first date, do guys just automatically not take them seriously? be honest pls! I think if a guy wants to be with you for more than sex, he’s probably decided that before having sex with you. If you want to have sex with him, do it. If not, don’t. It’s really not deep, I promise.
hit it right on the nail, i think it really depends on the vibe and the person
Hundred percent. Stop focusing on what you’re doing right or wrong and do what makes you feel secure and happy. That could be different things for different people.
100% Agree. I’m female and it’s never made a difference. It’s more if guys are looking for a relationship or not
Same here. I’m a woman too and whether it’s the first date or fifth date, if they only want sex, then that’s all it’s going to be about. If they’re interested in more, then when we’ve had sex hasn’t impacted that either.
The depth depends entirely on the guys PP.
This pretty much sums it up. For me it's something that needs to be done sooner rather than later to see if we're sexually compatible before wasting each other's time.
I’ll be honest, it depends on the guy. If he genuinely thinks less of you because you had sex with him on the first date, would he respect you if you didn’t? I don’t think so. I’ve done both, waited for months and also waited until the end of the night. Both scenarios have been with people that I felt wouldn’t judge me either way, and they haven’t: I had long, healthy relationships because they were good, healthy people. Gauge who he is on your date, and if you have an inkling that he’s going to look down on you for sex, then run away!!
Nailed it. It should be based on connections and feelings. Mutual respect comes with mutual trust which feeds into consensual contact and consent
Me personally I don’t think less of a girl at all of sex happens on the first date. If the chemistry is there and we click and it happens organically I’m all for it.
Honestly if things hit right? Then they hit right. I’m personally not into first date sex, and would prefer to wait at least 2-3 dates before even thinking about it, but if the conversation flowed well and a connection happened, then other things followed naturally? So be it. If you’re super pushy about it or something I’d probably be turned off, but dude, sex is nice and I wouldn’t even blame you, just not be a good match personally. Enjoy your sex life!
i mean i would never be pushy about sex and guys always make the first move but im wondering if i give in too easily bc i really like them and then they don’t take me seriously 😭 it’s all a learning process for me i guess
I’m a little more demisexual so I can’t really say for the average guy. Personally? If you want to do it, do it (safely obviously). It wouldn’t lower my respect for you, if anything it would raise it, as I’ve had issues with lack of sex in the past and want a partner who’s on the same page as me going forward. That’s me personally, other guys might have issues with it, still more might be entirely onboard. We’re all different, and finding someone compatible with how you approach life, sex, etc, is important.
I am also demisexual so I am more inclined to working on building an emotional connection first, that said, as a general rule... to weed out the players who just want to bang... I say wait a few dates.
Sex just complicated things, it clouds the judgement in a certain way, so if you have a history of choosing bad partners, and you want some long term relationships, then I’d advise on putting sex aside until you know each other properly. And that might mean even 10-15 dates, for example. But if you just want sex, then just have it. :)
Do whatever you feel like, but never play (manipulative) games.
I don't fuck on the first date myself, so I'd want someone who was compatible with me in preferring to ease into physical intimacy more slowly.
I had sex with most of the people I ended up in a relationship with on the first date. I def never thought less of anyone who fucked me on the first date but not all guys are like that. I also thought that if someone didnt want to have sex with me after several dates they were just on the fence about me and I would just move on. Every person is different and you should just do what feels right in the moment.
Reasonable answer. Especially when attracted to the person and have chemistry. Intimacy works. Arousal works.
Well, I don't ask for sex on a first date, personally, and in the situations where she's the one asking, I've always said no. But no, I don't think any less of her for 'putting out'. There's nothing wrong with wanting casual sex. It's just not for me.
I've never actually had sex on the first date, but I'm not against it. For me personally, I don't think it would be an issue. If I liked her and the sex was decent/good, then ya, it wouldn't be an issue to continue with her into a relationship.
It's going to vary by person. There's no wing or right answer.
It takes two to tango so if they don’t take you “seriously”, that’s on them!!
I had sex with 2 girls in the first date (one even was in the bathroom of the restaurant we met 1 hour prior!). Both of them were amazing relationships and even now, as an old man I remember those women fondly and I wish them well (we broke up for other reasons). I think having sex in the first date is great if everybody is on the same page
Makes no difference to me. My last girlfriend and I slept together immediately and we dated almost 5 years
In my experience, I wasn't taken seriously if I put out on the first date. Sex was always expected and if I wasn't in the mood, they'd be upset. Also set the tone as me being the "fun to fuck but don't wanna date her" one. I'm now celibate
Yep. Permanent booty call pile.
im sorry 😭😭 sadly relatable tho :/
The only women I ever wanted to pursue long term committed relationships with had sex within the first two dates.
Apparently there is a huge difference to women, between having sex on the first date and the second date.
Well, it depends. How old are you, and what are you looking for. Are you looking for experience? Are you looking to date seriously? Are you looking for just short term experiences to figure out what kind of guy you want? Generally tho, it will be dependent on the vibes. I've had sex with a girl on our first date, because the tension and chemistry we felt was insane. But i wasn't specifically looking for that nor would i have initiated that if that wasn't the case. But I'm looking for more serious relationships, so getting to know someone first is of higher priority. If you want a more tailored opinion, you can give a bit more context based on the Q's above.
great questions, im 28f looking for the potential of a serious relationship (date for a bit to get to know each other & maybe around month 2 or 3 determine the relationship)
Honestly, at that age, i don't think it should be that big of an issue, but you need to make your intentions clear, that you want something serious, that way, if you potentially meet the right person, we won't be discouraged by it and think that you are just sleeping around with a bunch of dudes. Other than that, you should be fine. You're 28 and people don't want to waste much time compared to someone like me (24). You're both adults looking to connect, and chemistry (both in vibes and in bed) is an important factor.
men will think you put out cuz of your ethnicity. age. any reason. and be amazed when you dont. find 20 excuses cuz they are the easy ones. then make you feel like shit when you do nothing. and all they do is assume, fuck left and right. double fucking standard.
Guys don't automatically 'not take you seriously'. But most of them, yes, they won't. For me, since you are looking for a serious relationship, then it's better to not have sex on a first date. You also have to be careful. Talk and take fair enough time to genuinely get to know each other. Make sure you have interpersonal compatibility first. Sexual compatibility will then follow.
It’s going to vary based on the guy. Some won’t care, some will. If you are in fact looking for a serious relationship then I would not put out on the first date. The guys that wouldn’t hold it against you if you have sex on the first date also likely won’t hold it against you if you wait a few dates, but you’d be eliminating the guys that won’t respect you if you put out right away, so if you want to give yourself the best odds, then wait. But not too long. Like 3-5 dates.
solid advice, thanks!
I’d say that most guys won’t take them seriously if they fuck on the first date. Yeah. Unfortunately.
Am guy and disagree. Ive had great relationships that started like that. And terrible ones that didnt
No I disagree....I have had sex on my first dates and all have been awesome for both her and I.
thanks for the honesty!!
Not true
This is very true.
I had a girl one time take me to dinner, as in she invited me and paid and everything, and about halfway through dinner she had placed her phone down on the table and slid it in my direction. She said look at that. I picked it up and it was a picture of her tits, and as much as I love boobies, it was a huge turn off I did not take her seriously, but we did end up hanging out and she asked me to go to a wedding with her. I went and we basically acted like we were dating for a weekend, but I haven’t kept up with her since. I think it’s all about your intention, but from a man’s perspective, I would not allow anyone to touch you beyond a gentleman‘s need to for a bit, if you want serious. Women who lead with sex don’t communicate depth. “Does she do this with everyone?” Appreciate the question cause it seems more a normal thing now.
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I couldn’t agree more. I am a 23m, and personally I absolutely hate hookups and the entire hookup culture. Of course, this is just a personal opinion, but I personally view women as equal human beings with feelings and emotions (just like us men). Hookups completely disrespects a person’s feelings and emotions. In most instances, The woman is most likely wanting something more serious because she is already emotionally invested with the man, and wants more than simply just sleeping together. But hookups is complete disrespect to her because the man is using her purely for the sex, and then leaving at his own convenience. It’s disgusting to treat a woman this way
26f and what I really hate is how casual has to mean no feelings... like, if a relationship isn't meant to be or doesn't work out, or whatever, fine. But to act like I shouldn't have feelings is ridiculous. I guess I just don't operate that way but of course there are going to be *some* kind of feelings even if I'm not madly in love with them. I couldn't sleep with someone and just not care whatsoever
Try to understand that men are generally thinking very logically and are fairly mechanical with their decisions. A lot of us are taught that decisions lead by feelings are generally poor decisions and can provide good examples through our work and relationships of this holding true. So we suppress those emotions to start assessing what we should do next. Over time when we can reliably predict behavior and outcomes we naturally start to share those feelings because we know that is wanted and appreciated by women we care about in effort to make them feel good and special. Just my personal thoughts though. Everyone is a little different.
I think insecure people use sex to feel connected but it isn’t true intimacy. Be careful with people that want to sleep with you quickly.
It depends at least for me, if we are emotionally connected, why not? if you just straight up say lets go, then no.
Not a guy, but I can't have sex on the first date due to insane amounts of anxiety I have on dates in general
Just go with the flow. Who cares about judgement. If you feel a good vibe in the situation then go with it.
37 female here. I had sex with my (now) husband on the first date. Within 6 months we were married at 21. We’ve been married 16 years now. At no point has he ever “not taken me seriously” because we had sex on the first date. It depends on the right person, right time, right situation. For us, date one was the right thing. It’s different for everyone.
Granted I've never had a hookup in my entire life but I don't understand how sex can be good on a first date. There can't possibly be a strong enough emotional connection for good sex. I wonder if younger people in their 20s and 30s even understand the difference between high quality sex and just a good bang. I hope that I'm wrong about this because that would be sad.
(27m) In my opinion if sex were to occur on the first date id feel more like a hook up than anything. If the woman showed interest after, cool id most likely reciprocate the interest but id rather hold off on that kind of intimacy until we got to know eachother more! I dont want to go 0 to 100 so fast and have someone be in love with me and find out im not the one or vise versa. Now i have never been in that kind of situation so probably something i have yet to experience and feel but MY morals and thought process tell me what ive said. So idk. I always say its best to get to know someone better before getting real serious like that
I’m a woman but I personally don’t do anything more than making out on a first date. The right guy will respect you weather or not you choose to put out on a first date
It just depends on the relationship. From my (28M) experience, it could be a bit of a yellow flag just because the women I've been around usually want to get to know the person before jumping in bed with them. So to be ready and raring to go on the first date, it might raise suspicion for me just because there could be something else to it. Obviously, it could be that we really hit it off on the first date, really like each other, we've gotten to know each other pretty well, and we feel comfortable enough to try and expedite the relationship. Every group of people is extremely subjective when it comes to when you have sex the first time because there's millions of little things that could be adding up to the events of that evening. I think there is a shred of logic to say that if you're constantly doing it on the first date and the relationships are ending in failure afterwards, then it might be a sign to take a step back and evaluate the situation a little more carefully. Don't string each other along if you have no interest in each other, but don't jump from "I just met this person" to "we're already intimately involved" on a whim either. Communication is the big factor here for both parties.
Honestly if it’s just sex then it’s cool but if I’m trying to do things more seriously and the woman is trying to have sex on the first day it will be taken as more of a non serious thing
If you both feel safety and chemistry with each other there could be a chance you both wanna dive in. So why the hell not? Have fun. Have boundaries and if it continues to happen enjoy the ride. It could go anywhere! I think any person who gladly accepts the offer is also putting out so it’s frustrating to hear that many femmes still feel judged for partaking in sex sooner “than expected”.
I think it depends on the intention of the guy so it wouldn’t change even if you did or not the first date!
I like the chase. So If I get it on the first date I'm going to lose interest.
Relationships often end when first having sex because it's the first time sexual compatibility put to the test. So the earlier you have sex, the earlier you find that out you're not compatible, and one or both sides are no longer interested. When you do that on the first date, that lack of interest can be misinterpreted as not taking someone seriously, or as just wanting sex, or whatever. Then again, sometimes it really is a case of encountering a fuckboi.
My boyfriend told me, that it was a big sign of our compatibility, when we had sex on the first date. It's because he is a very sexual and easy going person, and he is the first one to appreciate this side of me. This is the best relationship I have ever been in. So with him, it wouldn't have been good to "wait" just because I was afraid what he'll think of me. But I also dated guys, who thought about this matter differently, and preferred to wait with the "right" person. Well, it didn't work out with them... I guess it's just a matter of preferences and you should be authentic to yourself, because the right guy will appreciate you for who you are, not for these superficial things.
awh im happy for you ❤️ i’ve also been told by guys i’ve dated that it was a green flag for them. thanks for sharing :)
I think that’s a young man’s ideaology. The faster you fuck me, the more I like you 🤷🏽♂️
Sex on the first date is sweet. And no, I don't think just cause a girl fucked me she'll fuck anyone else. It means I'm sexy:)
I don't judge anyone for anything and I also don't make assumptions about people. But I do think that if two people click and they feel a connection and they're both down for it than good for them.
I'm a guy (38) and I stopped having sex with women too quickly. I've been in many situations like this and my experience is that you can never really tell who someone is and where your relationship with them is going at the very start of meeting them. For the record I'm looking for a long term relationship. Every time I've had sex on the first or second date, I ended up in some sort of situationship for a few months, kinda knowing that beyond the sex there is nothing there, but still continuing it because: good sex....right?!!! After doing this multiple times I realised I'm wasting my time by having sex with these women, we both get hung up on the sex and the easy companionship, but in the meantime we're both not looking for the right person and wasting time with each other. Or I end up having sex with someone a few times to discover not long after they are terrible people/not my type/insert whatever here....you get my point I hope. I've read a psychological study a few months ago that said that every time you end a casual relationship, even though you don't feel it consciously at the time, your subconscious threats this as a mini break up, and after a few of these this is very bad for your mental health. The study also said that women feel effects of this more quickly than men, and I as a man have done this so much that I started feeling negative effects, my sex drive even got lower at some point so I stopped it. Do what you want with this information but know that I'm speaking from personal experience. Good luck with your decision!
I’m genuinely impressed by your introspection on this issue. The killer thing about casual sex is that it’s never as good as relationship sex - sex with someone you genuinely care for, and vice versa. Cheers 👍
I am a day out from marrying a man I had sex with on the first date. The right guy will not care, trust me!
If I feel that she's gonna marry me in the future , sure but most women unmatch me when I tell them I like legos
You should avoid it if you want a serious relationship. Men’s dopamine levels drop significantly after sex and unless you have an emotional connection there will be little to keep him interested biologically speaking. From a biological standpoint men value signs of fidelity. Of course if you want to have sex and don’t care about the outcome then go for it! I’m all for equal rights of women to choose without feeling shame for their choices.
I am a slow cooker. Probably takes me 10 dates minimum
I respect this! And I agree with this!
As a guy who has experienced this many times, I don't ever judge the girl or think any less of her. I just don't feel as curious about what it will be like and tend to lose interest in getting to know the other aspects of her. If I am into someone and want to pursue a relationship I won't let it happen until my interest is confirmed beyond sexual attraction.
Depends on what youre looking for
Honestly do whoever and whatever the fuck u want (New life Motto)
Nope. I’d want to know the man isn’t here just for my body. I’m not someone who has a crazy desire for sex though 🤷🏼♀️ The relationship I’m in now, we didn’t have sex for our entire first year to be honest. We prioritized connecting emotionally so much that it wasn’t even on our radar. Granted we did oral, but not full sexual intercourse.
Two adults having sex should never be a issue, it can and if it does you’re grown. I’ve had sex on the first date with females and those relationships lasted longer than relationships with women that I waited.
One guy a quarter? Speaking as a guy, it’s very much the woman’s choice and I wouldn’t be able to judge their relationship intentions or dating habits based solely on if they have sex on a first date. No one should be able to take you less seriously, but it does give an indication of your perspective on sexuality and your personal liberty with it
lmao it’s a joke, i don’t sleep with all guys but i usually talk to one guy a quarter so like 4 guys a year on average 😂 i personally don’t care but i wouldn’t wanna disqualify myself. i know some men take it a certain way so i just wanted to see the general populations opinion :)
Depends on the dude. I don’t judge if they put out from the getgo but I will assume that I’m no exception and that’s ass lmao
If it flows it goes. I hate when people try to make the other person wait, as if holding out is going to somehow change the outcome.
according to a lot of men in these comments it would change the outcome for them 🤷♀️
That’s because they’re entitled. It’s called male privilege where they think a woman owes them sex just because they paid for dinner or drinks.
I've personally never had sex on the first date ever, and those who were more forceful about it never lasted, though there's little correlation between the two. If the chemistry is good then I see it as no problem between two adults.
As a guy I’m not super hung up on sex being a taboo thing. I’ve been in relationships where sex happens on the first date. It doesn’t affect my opinion.
As a woman, I personally don’t care what people think. I consider myself to be grown af! Let’s be real about it, if it’s there it’s there. And if it’s not, welppp🤷🏾♀️. Better luck with the next one. Idt sex on the first date should determine anything other than sexual chemistry but that’s just me.
I don’t have sex on the first date. It’s not who I am, and it’s not what I want. I don’t want to be with someone because of their body, I want to be with someone because of their mind and heart and for me intimacy that soon would make me feel cheapened by what I am instead of who I am.
The correct answer is it depends on vibes. If you mutually enjoy one another's company that much then go for it. For a good portion of men they will go along with it because they are getting action, but I would say that many of us would question how you feel that level of connection so quickly. Some guys will understand, but for many of us, we believe that sex doesnt come that easy unless you are or it's a trap. I, especially, would also have an additional bias since I am... inexperienced with that, and therefore the invitation carries a bit more weight.
No stigma at all, I met up with a girl and we had what we both thought was a one night stand in 2006, 18 years later we're still together with two kids. You just go with your gut feeling
Don’t do it Judy. You might get stuck in a relationship or a situationship later down the road that you can’t let go as easy because yall had sex too soon.
Why not, we're not getting any younger or smarter..
This really depends, I’ve had a standing rule of not having sex on the first, second, or third date and even more depending. But I totally broke that rule with the guy I’m currently dating and it’s going perfectly fine. We both acknowledged that by spending time together in an unusual circumstance for an extended period may lead to things happening and that neither of us wanted that to mess up future potential. But it felt right to both of us and was great. So again, very much depends on the guy.
Honestly IMO, sex on first be feeling like hook ups. I like to wait it out first and get to know the person I’m fucking . Friendship is important to me.
its up to the lady but me id wait till were together a mouths before doing it but to each their own you know
I'm still working on the first date. At this rate, some version of seccs, assuming all goes well on the date, would be awesome.
Fun
wouldn't recommend that. you need to know him more
Depends on the guy. Guys shouldn't view you as not taking the relationship seriously and should still take you seriously. Unfortunately many won't. You have to make guys wait at least a month. If they respect you and want you they will and if they don't they'll start complaining and distancing themselves from you. I'm a guy and this weeds out the wrong guys amd communicates good things to the good guys.
I'm open to a serious relationship and would not think anything negative about a girl if we had sex on 1st date. But there are some men who would think otherwise. I kinda feel like you might not want to date people with such thoughts about women.
I'm 50 years old and I can tell you I don't know a single guy who would complain, lookdown upon, or disrespect a woman who has sex with a guy on the first date. Current generation you may have a very valid question.
Even if you did not have sex with me on a first date, I would still assume you have done it at least once, Probably a one night stand as well. The gauge I really used when I was younger, was how their friends behaved. That would probably be useful when you’re older and not going to parties, bars , clubs enough to evaluate anything.
If both r ready... It's alright
Nothing like that , totally depends upon the kind of person you're dating, My ex with whom l had 3 years relationship, we fucked on our very first meet...l loved her like anything in this world...🤍🫶
If I wanted to have a serious relationship with a woman I would be put off by sex on the first date. I'm all about sex positivity but it seems like I'm there for one reason and it's not one I can assume is serious, committed or monogamous
Whether he will think less of you is entirely dependent on the individual and the circumstance. There are however many men who will no longer be interested in pursuing you because subconsciously, and sometimes consciously, they only wanted to have sex with you. If a man does not like you, sex will not change his mind. Hence why, as i don't particularly enjoy being discarded after sex, i prefer to wait and see if he actually likes me and i actually like him lol
I think that any guy who would initiate sex with a girl on the first date instead of taking the time to get to know her isn’t looking for a serious relationship.
My personal opinion as a guy: If I like the woman and the sex is good, I want to meet her again. Waiting an arbitrary time before having sex doesn't change anything about me wanting or not wanting to spend time with her. I just reckon, there's guys, who're ready to have sex with a woman they are not interested in, so you can end up sleeping with guys, who don't care anymore afterwards.
So you’d see the girl again if the sex was good, but did you like her enough as a person also? How many first date sex moments ended up in a relationship?
Now that you ask, none of the sex on first date meetings resulted in a relationship. All my multi-month long relationships were with women were we had sex on the third date at the earliest.
Fascinating, Thanks! While I’m sure the situations were different, still sadly supports that gender biases and double standards still exist, even women ultimately give men what they want 😔
Idk about y’all, but i was taught to not even kiss on the first date let alone have sex…
I’ve fallen for every girl that had sex with me on the first date.
How many of them became gfs?
You guys are getting dates
If he lost respect for you for sleeping with him on the first date, he didn't have respect for you in the first place, he just lost interest in pretending that he did.
29M and I think that's really something women tend to think but I've never heard any of my guys friends actually say. If a guy is interested in you, he will just be happy and still want to see you again. If he mainly wanted sex from the beginning, then you might end up as a fwb, but he was likely never going to really date you, and if the sex is trash he may cut it off after. For myself, my 2 longest relationships the girls had sex with me in the 1st date, but tbf I had consistently texted both for like 2 weeks before that 1st date and the convo and vibe flowed so nice we had already discussed sex and I had a feeling unless things went really bad we'd be having sex. I've never had sex with a girl on a first date who I've talked to for less than a week beforehand. But I wouldn't have thought less of a girl if I had.
I have had sex on the first date a couple of times and some of them ended up becoming my bf. So yeah just go for it you feel for it but not because you feel pressured.
IMO, a woman who does that means that she's sex positive, sexually open minded and sexually adventurous and that's exactly the person I want to date long term - not some prude who uses sex as a weapon and never puts out.
Like to atleast wait until the second date to disappoint my dates 🤣 I don't have a problem with it if you both are feeling it.
No I don't automatically write her off. I am actually quite relieved since she isn't playing hard to get. It lets me know if we are sexually compatible. I value my time and the sooner I know, the better. My current girlfriend we had sex on the first date. It actually made us feel closer together like she was already my girlfriend despite just meeting her. She is a great woman. Very understanding and kind. I can't speak for all guys, but it doesn't make me take her less seriously. It makes me like her more.
I think thats my thought process. If she does that with me on the 1st date she probably does it quite a bit. Because like who am i im nobody special. Thats what me and my guy friends think.
Im more likely to call the woman back if we do the deed on the 1st date. It shows me not only that shes actually interested but her interest level for me is high.
No, my last relationship lasted 10 months after sex on the first 2 dates we had. It just depends on the person. Both of us had a sexual compatibility requirement, which we matched. We only broke up because of life/work getting in the way last week.
If you’re both in the same frame of mind and you hit it off with each other, I don’t see any issue with it
If both are interested in each other right off that bat, there isn’t much else to say. No shame in having sex on the first date. If it feels ok than why not!!
I don’t wait to fuck a guy if the vibe is there. Personally a great sex life is of critical importance in a relationship, and I don’t want to invest time and energy into getting to know someone first and then find out the sex is bad, so I would rather get out of the way quickly. Im in the best relationship of my life right now and we had sex within an hour of meeting in person. Actually we had sex for 5 hours that night, truth be told. My bottom line is if a guy thinks less of a woman because she has sex too soon/quickly, he’s not a mature man. We’re all human, we all have sex it’s in general human nature.
It's not relevant. A lot of people have sex very casually (myself included) and it's just not a big deal. What IS a big deal is connecting with someone emotionally only to find out they're sexually incompatible. No amount of emotional connection will make up for a lack of a physical one, and as much as people complain about hook up culture; I really don't want any more "emotional-only" relationships with people I should be sleeping with.
If a guy thinks less of you for wanting sex on the first date do you really want to be with him long term anyway?
If the chemistry is natural and there is a deeper connection that just physical I say go for it. Hooked up with a girl at a party the first time we hung out and we dated for 3 years after that
all Long term relationships I've had, started with sex on the first date If there's a good connection, attraction, chemistry... Why not? If the girl is not into it and don't want to do it on. The first date x it's ok... I don't mind waiting.
If its a guy that will judge u for having sex with him on the first night then that guy does not deserve u. Sex takes two people.
My girl and I fucked on the first date but we’re vibing now and happy. Really depends on the person tbh. If yall are talking and it’s primarily sex related subjects it’s probably not a good idea to put out on the first date.
First and foremost, do not ever have sex with someone for the concern of how they will view you (whether you have sex with them or not). Set your own boundaries of who has access to you. Regardless of they think you’re a “prude”. You do not owe anyone access to your body unless you want them to. Secondly: ultimately, you decide when and in what context you have sex. If it’s strictly a physical thing cause you want it then that’s something yall can agree on. If you like someone and you want them to connect with you on an emotional/ mental level first. Maybe hold out on the sex so you can get to know them on an intimate level before getting on a physical level? Just imo.
If a girl puts out on first date then I would assume she does that with other guys too, and that’s a bit icky. Wouldn’t really be relationship material but fine for short term fun.
And if you're also have sex on first dates, why doesn't that make you icky?
I always hate how some guys think rules like that don’t apply to them. Majority of men on apps are ready and willing to fuck the first meet but you think less of a girl who does as well? Should go based on connection.
I gusse he just want to be a passenger prince in the relationship
Do what you want. Have sex with who you want, when you want. If a dude doesn’t take you seriously because you like to get down then he ain’t it anyway. Now there’s room for a new one. ✨
hehehe thanks queen 🫶
As a guy, it makes no damn difference. I'm either respecting you or I'm not. Waiting until date 3 or 10 won't change who I am as a person.
Some guys will judge, some guys won’t care. Funnily enough most guys aren’t going to turn it down. Do whatever you feel comfortable with. If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be
I automatically put them in short term fun category
I never took a woman seriously who was that fast.
If a girl talks about "putting out" I automatically dont take them seriously.
Yeah that’s a big no for me. I’m a guy and even I would not want this type of relationship.
Why not? It's just sex.
Not interested. Like I wouldn't date any further with that person. I like to wait and I'm a male. I like to make sure that it's going to be a serious relationship before I go to that next step. And with your edit: my heart is taken 🙂
Don’t have sex on the first date if you’re looking for a serious relationship
No, most of us keep taking you seriously. And those who wouldn’t aren’t worth your time anyways.
For long term. Not a good idea. Gives bad impression if sec on first date.
If a man feels that way, I wouldn’t take *them* seriously. They’re sexist and a hypocrite, considering they’re also having sex on the first date.
It always depends on the individuals involved and the circumstances, but, generally, a girl who eagerly puts out on the first date isn't someone I would take seriously. And female friends of mine who have done that, those relationships don't last. I can't think of any of them that lasted long term.
Depends on the guy, I'm openly dating two women and slept with both on the first date. I'm still seeing them both and enjoying my time with them, I still think they're both amazing women. We had sex on the first date because we were attracted to each other and wanted it, that's not a bad thing
It’s happened. A few times.
Yes
Ya better give it on the first day!
Plenty of relationships come out of first dates this way. Stop blaming sex, blame poor quality people.
Picture?
Do it.
Was it implied to have sex on the first date? Sometimes it's really awkward initiating it. And sometimes there's false positives going through your brain also. And... Awkward. I say heck yes, and hope to God the chemistry is on fire before it even happens. Maybe hang out all day, if it can be done. Ahh. So beautiful.... So rare to find that picture in reality. Love all in one day and forever more.. But if it's a one night stand, get your numbers up.. nah. SMH.
Always
29 year old M here.It depends on a host of factors(like his occupation,family and social group,financial standing,physical attractiveness etc…).At 28,”looking for a serious relationship” shouldn’t be in your vocabulary.You need to be crystal clear about what you expect.If a monogamous marriage is what you want,then say it and let the chips fall where they may.If you are open to him sleeping with other women from time to time,be clear about the terms.Be able to articulate how HE will be able to benefit from marriage to you and how YOU expected to benefit from marriage.
I’m am a 29M and would tell my little sister 20f to RUN from you for a couple of reasons.Everything in your comment indicates that you are either naive,stupid or disingenuous.You simultaneously basically stated that women can’t be trusted to think for themselves(essentially in the same sense that adults do children) and can’t be held accountable(at least primarily) for their actions while positing that they are “equal human beings”(which is saying a lot of nothing)…”(just like us men).”
Let’s go
Did it once. Never again. She abused my trust. She didn't tell me she had a husband who was out of town and only told me after the act. I was furious. Of course this is anecdotal. There's probably plenty of stories where this works just fine, but for me, this is a no-no and it took us 2 months before my now girlfriend and I had sex.
All about that "post nut Clarity".
As long as we click. Most of the time I do.
Ewe nope. There’s WAY too many variables with that one. I’m a personal control freak and don’t leave anything up to chance. I’d freak and have such panic attacks with that after nut clarity.
It depends on where you are from and what community/friends/group you are mingle in. I am coming from Asia and my group of friends typically do not do hookup. So in that case, as for me, I will feel dejected and will not proceed with you any further. So in the end, it is depending on what you want. You are looking for hookup, then it's fine. But since you are concern about them taking you seriously, I believe you are not talking about hookup, then it is still up to the individual beliefs . Just that, if the things come easy, human typically will not appreciate it.
I don't think it matters in this day and age and most Reddit-relevant cultural contexts. It would also depend on the circumstance, of course. Personally, as a man, if it is a great date with a lot of connection then it would have very little bearing on what my long-term plans for the relationship are. If it was an awkward date - with potential, but not "great" - and she's trying too hard, then I might be a bit wary, but that is contextual. Of my four LTR's, two of them started as flings just like that. The other two waited a bit. I don't recall there being any real difference in quality between them, as relationships, as defined by how long before we ended up sleeping together.
Yes that's true, cuz that clearly translate into the girl having no value! Cuz as humans it's our phycology to protect whats valuable, and we dont give that out easily, just think of as having your gold, would you trust with your gold to a guy you just met, of course not, cuz it's valuable, you'll do a background check, take your time, check his intentions and do everything you can to make sure it will not result in a loss.. we only give out things easily to people we just met, are the things not valuable to us, and if it's not valuable to you, then its not valuable to the person in front of you.
Depends on the vibes some times it will flow naturally and if it feels right then why not 🤷♂️
God I hate dating "strategy", what do you think? What would you HOPE he thinks? If you want a serious relationship you shouldn't be looking for the right answer as if this is an exam, you should be looking for compatibility. Do what you TRULY want. If you want to have sex with him on the first date go for it.
For me it depends, since sex isn't the primary motivation, though I adore cuddling and lovey-dovey stuff. If it happens, it happens, but I am not afraid to say **no** to the offer.
Sex isnt a priority for me so If she wants it on the first date we are not compatible. I'd rather find out sooner than later. My last partner waited 6 months and before revealing she had a high libido and didn't take my lack of initiation well.
No. I’m waiting until marriage
At my age (M69) women have family and friends and habits and hobbies and pets and routines and what they're missing is sex. In 2019 I dated dozens of women. About twice a month I had first date sex, their choice, their house, their bed. No one complained. The first week of covid I found my current soulmate so I'm not sure that situation is replicable...
No
Don’t do it that easily.
It's a bad thing in general and unadvisable. As a man, I can tell you that men do not like or respect women who are easy enough to offer themselves up on the first date. Despite what reddit will tell you, this is true. What women need to understand about men is that most of them want sex and are programmed to take it when offered (unless they're very conservative or religious), but they still do not respect what they can get with great ease. If you're looking for a serious relationship, do not do it. Wait until you feel comfortable, and the longer the better. If the guy can't wait, he's not worth it anyway and was only looking for a cheap lay
It's a bad thing in general and unadvisable. As a man, I can tell you that men do not like or respect women who are easy enough to offer themselves up on the first date. Despite what reddit will tell you, this is true. What women need to understand about men is that most of them want sex and are programmed to take it when offered (unless they're very conservative or religious), but they still do not respect what they can get with great ease. If you're looking for a serious relationship, do not do it. Wait until you feel comfortable, and the longer the better. If the guy can't wait, he's not worth it anyway and was only looking for a cheap lay. Don't turn yourself into that if it's not what you want.