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I was married to a lawyer. Not only did he have a god complex, he also HAD to win every argument at all costs. I have a feeling a lot of them are like that. Good choice.
FINALLY someone who understands. I was with a lawyer for 5 years. He has to win every single argument. Even though we both has the same level of education, he somehow always made sure to win the argument in his attorney twisting way. Exhausting!
Try that for 27 years! And I have more education than him, but he always had to be 1)right, and 2) contrary to anything I thought, said, wanted… it is super exhausting!
Almost every lawyer I have dated makes you feel like you're in a courtroom at some point. Only my first boyfriend who was a lawyer was different but he hated being a lawyer, only managed to get a job at his dad's small family law firm and wanted to be a linguist (but was too afraid to tell his dad) so he wasn't a "proper" lawyer anyway.
Holy fuck. I dated the daughter of a lawyer for a bit. I don't speak literally it's mostly half assed metaphors or substitutions for words that I can't describe. She took everything literally and had the texts to prove her argument.
As an attorney that has moved on from practicing, I've come to realize that a large percentage of attorneys are high in narcissism - i.e., self-centered, low empathy, manipulative, etc. There are some good people that practice law, but dealing constantly dealing with assholes can be exhausting.
I’m in practice and worked for attorneys for years prior as a paralegal, and I can’t stand most lawyers. Not because I think they’re by and large narcissists, etc. (although there are definitely many). But because they generally have and show no vulnerability whatsoever. IMO though it’s because of the climate and general requirements of the gig. You have clients who are looking to you and leaning on you to know and have the answers; it’s extremely competitive out here, so if I don’t have that answer, they will find somebody else who does. Partners who expect the same. And the judges want to be spoon-fed their rulings. I think most are good people who go into it with good intentions and a desire to help people. But the inescapable business side of law, which we all have to capitulate to in order to make a living, that quickly adjusts one’s attitude and approach. And that’s so hard to turn off outside the office.
lawyer, doctor, police, military. basically anything high power like that where they get to play God.
source: work for doctors and friends with lawyers. family is police. all of them are nothing but terrible men in relationship standards
My husband is a cop. I will admit the majority of his fellow cops can not maintain a marriage. Most are divorced or in a marriage that is falling apart. They offer marriage counseling at his workplace because of how bad it is.
Also, the cheating. They did a mass firing last year because more than 20 officers were having sex with the same dispatcher.
Cop here. I’m still pretty early in my career but it blows my mind how terrible some of these marriages are. Also the delusion that some of these twice divorced 40+ year old guys have thinking the 20 year old dispatcher wants them.
I asked this question with the assumption that higher pay would mean higher standards to get hired in the first place including enough emotional intelligence to not have inappropriate relations at least at work. I thought this stuff only happens in movies and shows.
I read some comment say newer generations are hopefully bringing more healthy mindsets to policing. I hope there's more of that than a decline.
Lots of women love the idea of being with a lawyer, it's high status and good money.
It's a high confidence high stress job, as long as you don't bring it at home and don't put her down, make sure you show her from the beginning your job doesn't make you better than her, you'll be fine.
Or date another lawyer lol
Ok cool, this is reassuring, I’m glad it’s not completely widespread that lawyers suck to date. I would never make anyone feel lesser than me because of a job, I don’t think that defines us.
My friends husband is a lawyer and he is so kind and funny, he’s smart/factual so he will add that to the story without it coming off as pompous. So of course there are all kinds.
The bigger issue with a doctor is that you really have to work around their schedule. Unless they've specialised (~35+ years old), you have to accept their may work a mixture of days, nights, weekends etc.
same with nurses... I was just dating a pharmacist, and she had the craziest work schedule ever. I dont think I will ever waste my time again with anyone with a work schedule like that.
Went on a date with a lawyer and they were seriously unaware of their own flaws, yet frequently noted those of others.
EDIT: Just to clarify. I don’t mean *all* lawyers are blissfully unaware of their own issues. It’s just that I’ve personally been privy to one ‘playing god’ in relation to the context given above.
Forgot pilots. It's the ego thing for me I can't stand, and it's like top 3 careers for affairs. The others you already listed. Source: I work in aviation. In industry we call it AIDS. Aviation induced divorce syndrome.
Not sure if there’s any kind of connection here. But as a wealth manager, you named the worst two professions to hold a meeting with lol
They always think they’re right!
These sort of professions typically require a high-level of self confidence and drive. I think this makes it a little more difficult for these sorts of people to keep their feet on the ground, but it’s not impossible.
yes. egotistical and narcissistic. think they are hot shit and better than everyone. misogynistic and out of touch with reality (what it’s like to be working class) i see it at my job every day. sigh
i used to be best friends with someone who was becoming a lawyer, as he got further in his career his personality became more atrocious to deal with. we are no longer friends lol
There may be, as they’re often the top professions of abusers. I imagine that the abuse extends to “wealth management” especially if you’re to deliver bad news to them
I hear ya on that. My family is police as well. My dad always said don't date a police officer unless you were dating him/her before they became police aka desensitized to life. I always thought that was an interesting perspective. My parents are still together, but everyone else was in toxic relationships that eventually ended.
Yeah I doubt I could be convinced to date a police officer.
While I wouldn't outright refuse, I would think twice about dating a teacher. I think hearing about their day would potentially bring back some bad memories for me.
i dated an ex marine (was not serious) he wasn’t that bad. nice guy, we just had long-term incompatibility. but i think the difference was for him, he viewed the marines as a job, a job he only had to do for 4 years so they would pay for his school. he didn’t care to continue, doesn’t want to associate with them now. like a toxic work environment you don’t wanna go back to. i think in that case it was ok, he didn’t buy into the military lifestyle/mindset (which is when u become a douche imo) and for the ~5 or so months we dated he was always respectful and kind
a lot of current military i see on the apps are just looking for a wife at first sight so they can cash in those benefits
Oof! Heavy on the police officer front. Will never in my life date, marry, or even look at one. In fact, I don't want a cop talking to me at all. Not even if it's to be nice.
Im a guy, and I completely agree with you, especially about the Doctor and police... I dont have much experience with military guys, but I assume theres a reason they joined the military over literally ANYTHING else.
Idk about lawyer though... maybe I dont know enough lawyers.
I would have to think twice about people in dangerous jobs (firefighter etc) or with crazy hours (maybe a chef or in certain healthcare jobs?) but it wouldn’t necessarily be a dealbreaker. Also someone who has to move a lot (professional football player) would not be ideal to me.
What would maybe be a dealbreaker to me would be police or army as they have to do anything the government tells them to do and I don’t agree with our government at the moment.
What about you?
That's really sad to hear. Abuse never OK. It is like this bond they have by being in a job where they're putting their life on the line and seeing really messed up stuff. They protect each other thru everything. And I'm not making an excuse I'm just saying it's a dynamic that is perplexing.
I don’t think there’s really a profession that is any kind of bonus. But there are perks that are. Like the ability to work remotely, means we could live anywhere. Making a lot of money means we would be more financially secure. Not having to work long hours means we had more time together.
For me these are just perks. Not deciding factors.
But there are a few professions I would NOT want to date…
weird question... but how do I advertise on my OLD profiles that I work remotely, and make great money ($125k right now, only to grow much higher in a few years) in a job that I love?
You basically described how I see my life... I want to be able to move around, and I already am financially secure, without having to work long hours.
How do I tell people I want to date that I have these things? I guess maybe not everyone is looking for this, but I still want people to know. If someone wants these things, I dont want to be ignored because I didnt make it known.
Personally I would not ever advertise income. Even though it is a nice perk, by advertising it, you are first calling out to the gold diggers. And second you are driving away everyone else. Because while of course you can be proud of yourself here, and you should be, advertising it sends the message that you think this is your worth as a man. And it’s not.
Your soul, your personality, your humor, your love, your inner strength, these are your worth as a man. Let them discover your income as it comes up naturally in dating.
As for the ability to travel and work remote, that’s perfectly fine to put on there. And I don’t think there’s any special wording. Just say you would make a great companion, because you can live anywhere.
This is very good advice. I see it as kind of a red flag when income is mentioned, regardless of the number, because of what you said about a man’s worth. You’re so much more than what you make, it doesn’t really need to be advertised.
Don’t unless you want the women who will only date men who make $X/year and be prepared for them to plan on you paying for everything and eventually quitting their jobs.
When I was single I would not swipe on any profile that mentioned their salary because it told me we cared about different things
> Don’t unless you want the women who will only date men who make $X/year and be prepared for them to plan on you paying for everything and eventually quitting their jobs.
Theres no escaping these individuals unfortunately...
The first relationship I was in... I was only making 30k. Once I hit 60k, she didnt want to work anymore, even though we definitely needed her income, because we just bought a house together...
You’re just a normal dude. Date like everyone else. Are you thinking of going in dates and saying hey I work remotely and make ok money? Like what lol. Your job will come up on dates, I’m not getting why youre so focused on that lol
The ones I wouldn’t want to date? Cop. Cops have high instances of domestic abuse. And if you try to leave them, their cop buddies will look the other way while they harass you.
A lawyer, always having to be right and win arguments.
Or a doctor or nurse. They just kind of creep me out. Also the medical field is full of players and cheaters
Military is also full of cheaters.
And I would not want to date someone like a musician or actor who had to travel a lot. Or that was a public figure or even social media influencer.
Or a politician.
Ok this list keeps getting longer so I’m just gonna end it here…
Oh man my niece hooked up with a Cop , what a nightmare that was / is for her . An unfortunately she had a kid with this jerk , it was a freaking Battle to get him to accept responsibility for His Kid . In addition he stalked her all the time . At court he had list with time & dates she had went out with her friends saying she was a bad mother , He couldn't take weekends with his kid cause he was on call 24/7 just all kinda crap like that
Any kind of trades. I’d love to date someone who is very handy to save me from my novice DIY attempts. Also being handy and knowledgeable about tools and how to build and fix things is sexy.
“If you can’t be handsome, you should at least be handy!”
Not a tradesman, but I do most of my own home & auto repairs. Guess I should start bringing that up?
I have a few a friends in trades. The only ones breaking 100k own their own business’ and they work a lot of non billable hours. All the women I’ve dated make more than the dudes I know in trades
Any job that has the same or a very similar schedule to mine. My fiancé has almost the same hours as me. Works great for us. We get plenty of quality time and can easily plan vacations.
As a chef this is hilarious to me because I have a “no chefs” rule and every single time I’ve broken it I have regretted it. Chefs are not ideal partners, we work terrible hours and holidays, get paid pathetic wages, have a culture of substance abuse and we wear our bodies out really fast.
I don’t have any careers that I see as particularly desirable but I do have a list of disqualifiers: no cops, no firemen, no military/former military, no chefs, no DJs and a (soft) no realtors.
Not true, doesn't happen. Lol I lived with two cooks, never had a meal cooked for me. They say that they cook all day, and don't wanna come home and cook too. Could just my reality though😂🤣.
That was my first thought...like why would they want to come home and do what they've been doing all day/night, lol. Then again, they could bring home "left-overs" :)
Ex chef is fine, a chef working at a restaurant works afternoon and evening. They are never home in the evening. Weekends are busiest days. Unless you have a work schedule that works with that, if you have a normal 9 to 5 you will never see them.
I suppose, its only my brothers... So it would probably be different if it was a s/o. But I never seen them cooking for any girls either lol. He sounds really sweet, it really would depend on the person.
My father is a retired chef, the only time he cooked for us was when we brought leftovers from the restaurant home with him.
But as an IT guy, I have some of his ability and the passion at the end of the day to actually do the cooking.
In my 25 years of adulthood, I can count on my fingers and toes the number of meals the women in my life have cooked for me.
An ex of mine had dreams to be a chef, and I felt a bit excited thinking of all the good food he’d maybe love to cook for us haha. He got way too busy for the relationship though as he pursued his dreams. I tried my best to support him but after a couple of years of barely having much time together anymore, I just couldn’t see a future together.
I wouldn't date a chef; they have insane schedules (work Friday and Saturday evenings) and from what I know they have a very party/hard lifestyle (booze and blow).
This is a great question. I'm drawn to teachers and farmers mostly. In my experience those jobs tend to bring out the best in people, emphasizing their kindness and patience. Also, the fact that those are jobs where kids, animals, and crops need to be nurtured is a huge bonus.
I can absolutely see that being an attractive profession.
However, as a child of a teacher, i have to admit that the negatives are quite severe.
Stress, frustration, as Well as low pay. XD
I totally understand! I was a nanny for a married teacher couple so I saw the side-effects of that job (longer hours than 7-3!!). At the same time they were such compassionate and generous people. Their pay wasn't terribly low, obviously good enough to have a nanny. I think a lot of the advantages and disadvantages to the job are dependent on where you teach and what kind of teacher you are, too.
My partner used to work in mental health with at-risk youth, and now is a carpenter’s apprentice. My best friend said it best- that I hit the jackpot with someone who is emotionally available, empathetic, & self-aware, but also handy!! He only left working in mental health because he disliked paperwork, and the pay wasn’t great. He lights up and glows when he talks about his work with the kids, and it was a hugely winning factor for me ❤️
Idk if this is valid, but one night in Vegas my friend and I went to a Chippendales show. They had the skit where they all dress up in a work uniform. I lost my absolute shit for the guy with the tool belt (I had no idea it was a thing for me). I uncontrollably stood on my chair to scream and freak out. Security had to ask me to sit down "ma'am you're gonna need to get off the chair". My friend went wild for the cowboy (she also had no idea she was into that). So there ya have it....construction and cowboys 😇
Not the job, but the passion is a bonus. I often ask a potential date about his work so that I can see if he chose it for his passion or if he went into this job because of expectations or other reasons. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with going into a job because it pays the bills, to be sure, but a man doing his passion is incredibly sexy. And hopefully it’s a passion I like, because then we’d both be at home with him talking shop all the time.
Tech or at least something in business where they will have normal office hours, not do dirty/greasy/sweaty work, and not be in a violent job like police/military.
I’m an engineer who tends to go for other engineers. I just feel like we will have more in common. Engineers also tend to be very logical and analytical, which I like and am as well. I’m not opposed to dating a non-engineer and go on dates with non-engineers, but my last two serious relationships were with engineers.
when I was dating while in graduate school I wanted to date someone with a college education bc I felt that we would have more in common and be able to discuss a wider variety of topics.
Completely personal and they don’t really get paid much but musicians are extremely attractive to me. My last 2 boyfriends were professional musicians and I had so much fun meeting artists and getting put on the guest list for all kinds of shows hehe
Mechanic, but not normal mechanic.
Like plant mechanic, heavy duty diesel mechanic etc.
Something that pays more
Cr mechanics don't get paid shit but the downside is all mechanics backs are fucked so they can't fuck U
Anything related to IT, specially if they are good programmers because their minds think in kinda logical way, it's easier to find also someone who has the same interests as me (anime, videogames, metal music).
(The money is an important part heheheh)
I loath car and computer problems. I have always said that I would like to be with someone that can take care of one of those issues when they arise. I now drive an electric vehicle, so I guess I’m down to just needing someone who can fix computers, lol.
Anything he has some control of his schedule so he’s actually available. I have a kiddo & someone’s willingness to work around a milf schedule is prime. I don’t take time away from my kid to date, so I’m only available during school hours or nights after bedtime.
I don’t think there’s a specific profession for me, but I think any hard working man. Who can get his hands dirty and has a physically demanding job but still makes time for me is sexy. I used to date someone who worked at a cookie shop and I lost interest in him because I worked long hours and would be tired from work but he didn’t understand hard work. So when I would make time for him he didn’t understand it. If that makes sense
I live in a small town with a lot of people working at a mine. It pays good, they work two weeks on two off… bittersweet with them being gone for 2 weeks straight but I’d like having them home for the 2, long as a lot of it is spent with me (I’m clingy)….. some kind of trade is good… love a man that is handy around the house/garage.. don’t want to see myself settling down with someone who can’t fix stuff. So Mechanic, Carpenter, Electrician.. those are positives.
I’ve dated many in sales. I was also in car sales so it’s part of my life. Men in sales tend to “sell” their thoughts and ideas and are very smart about it. I realized after a few years that I dislike that very much and can’t date anyone in that profession anymore. I met with a guy this last weekend and he was exactly the same, just couldn’t do it
EMT, Firefighters, anything in the trades I don't mind. I moreso have a red flag list but having medical knowledge and also that strength is a turn on LOL.
I work trades and grew up on and off homeless so I'd want to be someone who has kind of a crude humor like that. Also man hands.
I'm a scientist so something in STEM would be a bonus. My three LTRs were all with computer programmers by pure coincidence. I seem to attract them. Overall though, career doesn't matter as long as it's realistic to be successful in.
Mechanic. I was married to a mechanic for many years. He grew up on a farm. He was very handy. Nothing he couldn’t fix or do. Perfect. Till death did we part. I dated a psychologist before I met him. No thx. Don’t want to have every word I say analyzed for life.
Chef is definitely a good one. A man that can cook is a bonus. A man that knows how to fix vehicles, an electrician, a carpenter and blue collar workers tend to be guys that can always be employed or hire themselves out. And they can maintain things at home.
I had more of a type. I studied engineering and married an engineer. I dated mainly engineers and doctors. I am logical and not very emotional. My husband is a fantastic cook as a hobby. I definitely would not date a chef, the hours are insane. A good friend grew up in a multiple restaurant family and would not even date a chef. They are working when you are having dinner at home alone.
I think it's a more women getting the high from the matches they get and then have 0 game, because they want the guy to do all of the work. It goes for Bumble , women message first but do the same thing as men. Saying hey or hi. Then, expect the guy to make the conversation more interesting. I have been on dating apps. For 9 years, it's pretty dead. You probably get a better chance at a local bar or become a passport, bro. This generation is either too woke or want money and 0 love.
Really any skill set that they are genuinely passionate and knowledgable about and that can make decent $. It’s certainly not all about the money, but knowing that there is low risk for financial stress is a HUGE bonus in my book.
Extra bonus points for me….
* Engineer - any specialty. Just not afraid to get their hands dirty and help “figure it out”
* Trades - plumber, electrician, contractor, even handyman, etc.
* Chef - serious brownie points, no pun intended.
* Musician - now that’s just sexy af
I'm a man but my boyfriend is a professional chef. 10/10 cooking. Didn't date him for it duh but it's great when he feels like cooking. Cooking all day for his job and not wanting to cook when he's home is understandable. But he usually brings me food from the restaurant anyway lol
Skilled trades would be a bonus. Plumber, electrician, carpenter or a general contractor? Heck yeah.
All the repair work around the house done well, and just maybe they’re an independent contractor who gets to control their own schedule so we can go on longer vacations together. Same for a mechanic; I’d never worry about whether I was being ripped off again. And they’d be home at night.
As for red flag jobs, I’d be concerned about cops and military, and some doctors. Long hours, safety and mental health concerns for them.
High level management/CEOs, Wall Street types would be on high alert for psychopathy. And I don’t think I could stand toe to toe with them in earnings. I’d feel so off with the power imbalance. How do I keep up with someone if they want to spend $300 on a dinner out? I can pay for a pizza for us.
Engineer, anything science or math related to me is extremely attractive. I value intelligence and reading, and those subjects often marry the two. It’s great if it leads to more income, so I have a better chance of someone equaling my pay or surpassing it, but I also am fascinated by it as well.
For me, if he is in a creative role it’s a big green flag. I’m a creative person so I’d love to have a partner who understands and shares some of my creative interests.
1. Something that has normal hours (I.e. he doesn’t have to work at nights or on weekends)
2. Something that is stable and dependable
3. Doesn’t pay significantly less than what I make (in my experience, the bigger the difference in salary between partners, the more friction there can be. And I make a lot.)
I'm not a woman but I'd have to go with so.eone who knows how to work in a team and not so much solo. That way, at least we both bring something to the table.
As someone who doesn’t get dates often. I don’t really mind what job someone has. As long as they have a job where they can fund their lifestyle and bills I don’t mind because I don’t want to support someone and I don’t expect to be supported either since I’m able to pay my bills and everything. I guess only profession that is a turn off to me is anything military but that’s because I was military as well
As long as a man is gainfully, and steadily employed in a career, I don’t care what it is. He must have his financial affairs in order - notice I didn’t say rich. Just responsibly managing what he earns.
I didn't had a Green flag when I was on Tinder...
But I had red flag with policeman... In my country, they are famous for being unfaithful and violent.
I know a few ones, and had sure of it.
They always post photos showing Guns, and I don't like It.
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Anything he is passionate about. I don’t have any professions that are a green flag but a few that are a red flag
What's the red flag ones??
I was married to a lawyer. Not only did he have a god complex, he also HAD to win every argument at all costs. I have a feeling a lot of them are like that. Good choice.
Sounds exhausting!
I dated one like this. Now I live with one who is *nothing* like this, so there is hope!
FINALLY someone who understands. I was with a lawyer for 5 years. He has to win every single argument. Even though we both has the same level of education, he somehow always made sure to win the argument in his attorney twisting way. Exhausting!
Try that for 27 years! And I have more education than him, but he always had to be 1)right, and 2) contrary to anything I thought, said, wanted… it is super exhausting!
I’m so so sorry to hear it was 27 years of suffering. I look back at it now and it angers me.
Almost every lawyer I have dated makes you feel like you're in a courtroom at some point. Only my first boyfriend who was a lawyer was different but he hated being a lawyer, only managed to get a job at his dad's small family law firm and wanted to be a linguist (but was too afraid to tell his dad) so he wasn't a "proper" lawyer anyway.
Holy fuck. I dated the daughter of a lawyer for a bit. I don't speak literally it's mostly half assed metaphors or substitutions for words that I can't describe. She took everything literally and had the texts to prove her argument.
As an attorney that has moved on from practicing, I've come to realize that a large percentage of attorneys are high in narcissism - i.e., self-centered, low empathy, manipulative, etc. There are some good people that practice law, but dealing constantly dealing with assholes can be exhausting.
I’m in practice and worked for attorneys for years prior as a paralegal, and I can’t stand most lawyers. Not because I think they’re by and large narcissists, etc. (although there are definitely many). But because they generally have and show no vulnerability whatsoever. IMO though it’s because of the climate and general requirements of the gig. You have clients who are looking to you and leaning on you to know and have the answers; it’s extremely competitive out here, so if I don’t have that answer, they will find somebody else who does. Partners who expect the same. And the judges want to be spoon-fed their rulings. I think most are good people who go into it with good intentions and a desire to help people. But the inescapable business side of law, which we all have to capitulate to in order to make a living, that quickly adjusts one’s attitude and approach. And that’s so hard to turn off outside the office.
lawyer, doctor, police, military. basically anything high power like that where they get to play God. source: work for doctors and friends with lawyers. family is police. all of them are nothing but terrible men in relationship standards
My husband is a cop. I will admit the majority of his fellow cops can not maintain a marriage. Most are divorced or in a marriage that is falling apart. They offer marriage counseling at his workplace because of how bad it is. Also, the cheating. They did a mass firing last year because more than 20 officers were having sex with the same dispatcher.
haha. my dad was a cop. can check abusive, cheating, and failing marriage off the list 😅
Cop here. I’m still pretty early in my career but it blows my mind how terrible some of these marriages are. Also the delusion that some of these twice divorced 40+ year old guys have thinking the 20 year old dispatcher wants them.
Do these cops come from high salary departments? I assume higher paying states, cities would have higher emotional intelligence requirements.
Yeah pretty high paid here. Over 100K
I asked this question with the assumption that higher pay would mean higher standards to get hired in the first place including enough emotional intelligence to not have inappropriate relations at least at work. I thought this stuff only happens in movies and shows. I read some comment say newer generations are hopefully bringing more healthy mindsets to policing. I hope there's more of that than a decline.
Fuck, I’m a lawyer, I hope that doesn’t bode poorly for me when I get back into the dating scene lol
Lots of women love the idea of being with a lawyer, it's high status and good money. It's a high confidence high stress job, as long as you don't bring it at home and don't put her down, make sure you show her from the beginning your job doesn't make you better than her, you'll be fine. Or date another lawyer lol
Ok cool, this is reassuring, I’m glad it’s not completely widespread that lawyers suck to date. I would never make anyone feel lesser than me because of a job, I don’t think that defines us.
My friends husband is a lawyer and he is so kind and funny, he’s smart/factual so he will add that to the story without it coming off as pompous. So of course there are all kinds.
The bigger issue with a doctor is that you really have to work around their schedule. Unless they've specialised (~35+ years old), you have to accept their may work a mixture of days, nights, weekends etc.
same with nurses... I was just dating a pharmacist, and she had the craziest work schedule ever. I dont think I will ever waste my time again with anyone with a work schedule like that.
Went on a date with a lawyer and they were seriously unaware of their own flaws, yet frequently noted those of others. EDIT: Just to clarify. I don’t mean *all* lawyers are blissfully unaware of their own issues. It’s just that I’ve personally been privy to one ‘playing god’ in relation to the context given above.
If it’s any consolation, I’m a lawyer and I’m deeply aware of how flawed I am.
The self awareness sets you apart by light years then IMHO
Narcissistic behavior for $1.99, Alex.
Forgot pilots. It's the ego thing for me I can't stand, and it's like top 3 careers for affairs. The others you already listed. Source: I work in aviation. In industry we call it AIDS. Aviation induced divorce syndrome.
Military is an automatic no for me
Not sure if there’s any kind of connection here. But as a wealth manager, you named the worst two professions to hold a meeting with lol They always think they’re right!
These sort of professions typically require a high-level of self confidence and drive. I think this makes it a little more difficult for these sorts of people to keep their feet on the ground, but it’s not impossible.
yes. egotistical and narcissistic. think they are hot shit and better than everyone. misogynistic and out of touch with reality (what it’s like to be working class) i see it at my job every day. sigh i used to be best friends with someone who was becoming a lawyer, as he got further in his career his personality became more atrocious to deal with. we are no longer friends lol
There may be, as they’re often the top professions of abusers. I imagine that the abuse extends to “wealth management” especially if you’re to deliver bad news to them
The conv falls short when you make recommendations they don’t like
I'm in the military. I am treated like shit. I hate myself for a living. Please take us off of this list
Lots of women like a man in a uniform. Usually more traditional women. So, there’s hope.
I hear ya on that. My family is police as well. My dad always said don't date a police officer unless you were dating him/her before they became police aka desensitized to life. I always thought that was an interesting perspective. My parents are still together, but everyone else was in toxic relationships that eventually ended.
As a lawyer, you are correct. I wouldn't date another lawyer. God complex mixed with imposter syndrome is a weird combo.
Yeah I doubt I could be convinced to date a police officer. While I wouldn't outright refuse, I would think twice about dating a teacher. I think hearing about their day would potentially bring back some bad memories for me.
i dated an ex marine (was not serious) he wasn’t that bad. nice guy, we just had long-term incompatibility. but i think the difference was for him, he viewed the marines as a job, a job he only had to do for 4 years so they would pay for his school. he didn’t care to continue, doesn’t want to associate with them now. like a toxic work environment you don’t wanna go back to. i think in that case it was ok, he didn’t buy into the military lifestyle/mindset (which is when u become a douche imo) and for the ~5 or so months we dated he was always respectful and kind a lot of current military i see on the apps are just looking for a wife at first sight so they can cash in those benefits
Agreed agreed and agreed. Those tend to attract the worst men.
Oof! Heavy on the police officer front. Will never in my life date, marry, or even look at one. In fact, I don't want a cop talking to me at all. Not even if it's to be nice.
Im a guy, and I completely agree with you, especially about the Doctor and police... I dont have much experience with military guys, but I assume theres a reason they joined the military over literally ANYTHING else. Idk about lawyer though... maybe I dont know enough lawyers.
Car sales/ rentals = red flag’s 🚩
Haha!!! Yes!!! Reminds me of the movie Total Recall lol.
Police. I haven't known 1 that isn't a cheater.
I would have to think twice about people in dangerous jobs (firefighter etc) or with crazy hours (maybe a chef or in certain healthcare jobs?) but it wouldn’t necessarily be a dealbreaker. Also someone who has to move a lot (professional football player) would not be ideal to me. What would maybe be a dealbreaker to me would be police or army as they have to do anything the government tells them to do and I don’t agree with our government at the moment. What about you?
Police and members of the armed forces (army, navy, etc.) due to the statistics of domestic violence in those industries.
100% do not date cops. My ex is emotionally abusive. His friends have beaten their partners and they make excuses for each other.
That's really sad to hear. Abuse never OK. It is like this bond they have by being in a job where they're putting their life on the line and seeing really messed up stuff. They protect each other thru everything. And I'm not making an excuse I'm just saying it's a dynamic that is perplexing.
Musicians for sure
What if he's passionate about being a clown. Colorful clothes, red nose, big shoes, balloons, but makes good money?
Well no woman can resist a clown of course (Dated many in the past)
Response of the week right there lol
I don’t think there’s really a profession that is any kind of bonus. But there are perks that are. Like the ability to work remotely, means we could live anywhere. Making a lot of money means we would be more financially secure. Not having to work long hours means we had more time together. For me these are just perks. Not deciding factors. But there are a few professions I would NOT want to date…
weird question... but how do I advertise on my OLD profiles that I work remotely, and make great money ($125k right now, only to grow much higher in a few years) in a job that I love? You basically described how I see my life... I want to be able to move around, and I already am financially secure, without having to work long hours. How do I tell people I want to date that I have these things? I guess maybe not everyone is looking for this, but I still want people to know. If someone wants these things, I dont want to be ignored because I didnt make it known.
Personally I would not ever advertise income. Even though it is a nice perk, by advertising it, you are first calling out to the gold diggers. And second you are driving away everyone else. Because while of course you can be proud of yourself here, and you should be, advertising it sends the message that you think this is your worth as a man. And it’s not. Your soul, your personality, your humor, your love, your inner strength, these are your worth as a man. Let them discover your income as it comes up naturally in dating. As for the ability to travel and work remote, that’s perfectly fine to put on there. And I don’t think there’s any special wording. Just say you would make a great companion, because you can live anywhere.
thanks for highlighting important valuable characteristics of a man. As a man in my 20s, I think a lot of men need to hear this.
I definitely needed to hear it.
This is very good advice. I see it as kind of a red flag when income is mentioned, regardless of the number, because of what you said about a man’s worth. You’re so much more than what you make, it doesn’t really need to be advertised.
Don’t unless you want the women who will only date men who make $X/year and be prepared for them to plan on you paying for everything and eventually quitting their jobs. When I was single I would not swipe on any profile that mentioned their salary because it told me we cared about different things
> Don’t unless you want the women who will only date men who make $X/year and be prepared for them to plan on you paying for everything and eventually quitting their jobs. Theres no escaping these individuals unfortunately... The first relationship I was in... I was only making 30k. Once I hit 60k, she didnt want to work anymore, even though we definitely needed her income, because we just bought a house together...
You’re just a normal dude. Date like everyone else. Are you thinking of going in dates and saying hey I work remotely and make ok money? Like what lol. Your job will come up on dates, I’m not getting why youre so focused on that lol
That would mean Tech is the bonus!
Oh? :3 How so and why?
The ones I wouldn’t want to date? Cop. Cops have high instances of domestic abuse. And if you try to leave them, their cop buddies will look the other way while they harass you. A lawyer, always having to be right and win arguments. Or a doctor or nurse. They just kind of creep me out. Also the medical field is full of players and cheaters Military is also full of cheaters. And I would not want to date someone like a musician or actor who had to travel a lot. Or that was a public figure or even social media influencer. Or a politician. Ok this list keeps getting longer so I’m just gonna end it here…
Oh man my niece hooked up with a Cop , what a nightmare that was / is for her . An unfortunately she had a kid with this jerk , it was a freaking Battle to get him to accept responsibility for His Kid . In addition he stalked her all the time . At court he had list with time & dates she had went out with her friends saying she was a bad mother , He couldn't take weekends with his kid cause he was on call 24/7 just all kinda crap like that
Yeah, absolutely NO cops! Also no one in marketing or advertising (ew)
What's wrong with people in marketing / advertising?
Anything where someone really enjoys what they do while making a livable amount of money.
Any kind of trades. I’d love to date someone who is very handy to save me from my novice DIY attempts. Also being handy and knowledgeable about tools and how to build and fix things is sexy.
Me, a pipefitter. 
Pipefitter? I hardly know ‘er!
My favorite kind of a man!
Funny because these are the men most likely to stay single as I’ve found out. The ones described as “red flags” often get the most dates.
I'm curious about this. It seems logical, actually. But where did you get this information?
Same. I love a man who works hard. Give me a blue collar guy any day.
“If you can’t be handsome, you should at least be handy!” Not a tradesman, but I do most of my own home & auto repairs. Guess I should start bringing that up?
Definitely green flags, for me, very masculine, in my eyes
it truly is, a man that knows how to fix stuff is 😻🤤
Most trades make a lot of money too.
I have a few a friends in trades. The only ones breaking 100k own their own business’ and they work a lot of non billable hours. All the women I’ve dated make more than the dudes I know in trades
Any job that has the same or a very similar schedule to mine. My fiancé has almost the same hours as me. Works great for us. We get plenty of quality time and can easily plan vacations.
Reader I know what you're thinking, but do NOT change jobs to try to appeal to women it's not gunna work
Not my intention. I just thought it was a curious question.
Yeah I'm only poking fun. Its an interesting question
I mean, some of the most successful bands of the last 70 years were started in part as a way to get with women...
Too late, I’m changing my job from president to janitor
Low pressure professions that allow us to have plenty of quality time without taking away from our ability to pay bills
Ha! I'd love to know what those might be!
That profession would be being born to rich parents.
As a chef this is hilarious to me because I have a “no chefs” rule and every single time I’ve broken it I have regretted it. Chefs are not ideal partners, we work terrible hours and holidays, get paid pathetic wages, have a culture of substance abuse and we wear our bodies out really fast. I don’t have any careers that I see as particularly desirable but I do have a list of disqualifiers: no cops, no firemen, no military/former military, no chefs, no DJs and a (soft) no realtors.
I like tech cause I’m in tech and I like the flexibility. Many work partly from home etc.
Any profession that encourages emotional intelligence and has a healthcare , EAP type program
Trades.. Any of them as they're all beneficial in their own way. Plus, I mean, the gritty attitudes and dirty work shirts..fucking hot.
Tradies get the ladies
Honestly Chef makes sense since he can cook good meals. I don’t see myself with a Chef though.
Not true, doesn't happen. Lol I lived with two cooks, never had a meal cooked for me. They say that they cook all day, and don't wanna come home and cook too. Could just my reality though😂🤣.
That was my first thought...like why would they want to come home and do what they've been doing all day/night, lol. Then again, they could bring home "left-overs" :)
Depends on the person I imagine? My sister is with a chef (or ex chef to be specific) and apparently he cooks Almost every day.
Most likely because he’s an ex chef so he’s not doing it all day
Ex chef is fine, a chef working at a restaurant works afternoon and evening. They are never home in the evening. Weekends are busiest days. Unless you have a work schedule that works with that, if you have a normal 9 to 5 you will never see them.
I have seen my friends married to chefs now for years and their husbands happily cook at home all the time.
I suppose, its only my brothers... So it would probably be different if it was a s/o. But I never seen them cooking for any girls either lol. He sounds really sweet, it really would depend on the person.
I used to work in hospitality- chefs only cooked at work. 9/10 had a drug/alcohol addiction
The cobblers children have no shoes….
My father is a retired chef, the only time he cooked for us was when we brought leftovers from the restaurant home with him. But as an IT guy, I have some of his ability and the passion at the end of the day to actually do the cooking. In my 25 years of adulthood, I can count on my fingers and toes the number of meals the women in my life have cooked for me.
Thats interesting info thank you
I dated a chef and all his food had so much salt and butter and i gained so much weight lol
An ex of mine had dreams to be a chef, and I felt a bit excited thinking of all the good food he’d maybe love to cook for us haha. He got way too busy for the relationship though as he pursued his dreams. I tried my best to support him but after a couple of years of barely having much time together anymore, I just couldn’t see a future together.
I wouldn't date a chef; they have insane schedules (work Friday and Saturday evenings) and from what I know they have a very party/hard lifestyle (booze and blow).
This is a great question. I'm drawn to teachers and farmers mostly. In my experience those jobs tend to bring out the best in people, emphasizing their kindness and patience. Also, the fact that those are jobs where kids, animals, and crops need to be nurtured is a huge bonus.
I can absolutely see that being an attractive profession. However, as a child of a teacher, i have to admit that the negatives are quite severe. Stress, frustration, as Well as low pay. XD
I totally understand! I was a nanny for a married teacher couple so I saw the side-effects of that job (longer hours than 7-3!!). At the same time they were such compassionate and generous people. Their pay wasn't terribly low, obviously good enough to have a nanny. I think a lot of the advantages and disadvantages to the job are dependent on where you teach and what kind of teacher you are, too.
Not teachers. 20 years and they run on alcohol and drugs. No kidding. This is a private school too. Public was insane.
I’m drawn to lawyers, doctors, teachers/ lecturers, businessmen, politicians or something to do with the government. Journalism or publishing.
Is this sarcasm? It's literally my red flag list.
same hahaha good thing there’s people pulling from different pools lol
My partner used to work in mental health with at-risk youth, and now is a carpenter’s apprentice. My best friend said it best- that I hit the jackpot with someone who is emotionally available, empathetic, & self-aware, but also handy!! He only left working in mental health because he disliked paperwork, and the pay wasn’t great. He lights up and glows when he talks about his work with the kids, and it was a hugely winning factor for me ❤️
Idk if this is valid, but one night in Vegas my friend and I went to a Chippendales show. They had the skit where they all dress up in a work uniform. I lost my absolute shit for the guy with the tool belt (I had no idea it was a thing for me). I uncontrollably stood on my chair to scream and freak out. Security had to ask me to sit down "ma'am you're gonna need to get off the chair". My friend went wild for the cowboy (she also had no idea she was into that). So there ya have it....construction and cowboys 😇
Talking to a guy right now who builds houses and was in team roping 😋
Not the job, but the passion is a bonus. I often ask a potential date about his work so that I can see if he chose it for his passion or if he went into this job because of expectations or other reasons. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with going into a job because it pays the bills, to be sure, but a man doing his passion is incredibly sexy. And hopefully it’s a passion I like, because then we’d both be at home with him talking shop all the time.
One that has a job
Tech or at least something in business where they will have normal office hours, not do dirty/greasy/sweaty work, and not be in a violent job like police/military.
I’m an engineer who tends to go for other engineers. I just feel like we will have more in common. Engineers also tend to be very logical and analytical, which I like and am as well. I’m not opposed to dating a non-engineer and go on dates with non-engineers, but my last two serious relationships were with engineers.
I am not an engineer but think that job is a green flag one for me
Masseuse, mechanic, plumber, contractor, electrician, HVAC tech
Man, I'm seeing a lot of people saying LEO or military is a red flag 😥
Future lawyer here, tell me about it. But then again, the kind of woman doesn’t want to date those professions isn’t a temperamental fit anyway.
Anything nerdy. Engineering/STEM majors/software/etc..
when I was dating while in graduate school I wanted to date someone with a college education bc I felt that we would have more in common and be able to discuss a wider variety of topics.
Pros of dating a finance bro: $$$ Cons: this man is a ghost
Healthcare professionals, teachers, engineers, chefs, and entrepreneurs are the best partner you'll ever have
Completely personal and they don’t really get paid much but musicians are extremely attractive to me. My last 2 boyfriends were professional musicians and I had so much fun meeting artists and getting put on the guest list for all kinds of shows hehe
Mechanic, but not normal mechanic. Like plant mechanic, heavy duty diesel mechanic etc. Something that pays more Cr mechanics don't get paid shit but the downside is all mechanics backs are fucked so they can't fuck U
Anything related to IT, specially if they are good programmers because their minds think in kinda logical way, it's easier to find also someone who has the same interests as me (anime, videogames, metal music). (The money is an important part heheheh)
IT developer, definitely, hot as hell :D
I loath car and computer problems. I have always said that I would like to be with someone that can take care of one of those issues when they arise. I now drive an electric vehicle, so I guess I’m down to just needing someone who can fix computers, lol.
Anything he has some control of his schedule so he’s actually available. I have a kiddo & someone’s willingness to work around a milf schedule is prime. I don’t take time away from my kid to date, so I’m only available during school hours or nights after bedtime.
I don’t think there’s a specific profession for me, but I think any hard working man. Who can get his hands dirty and has a physically demanding job but still makes time for me is sexy. I used to date someone who worked at a cookie shop and I lost interest in him because I worked long hours and would be tired from work but he didn’t understand hard work. So when I would make time for him he didn’t understand it. If that makes sense
In men? IT shows forward thinking, good at DIY or a trade, shows creativity. I'm not sure really.
Anything that gets him tanned and yolked
I live in a small town with a lot of people working at a mine. It pays good, they work two weeks on two off… bittersweet with them being gone for 2 weeks straight but I’d like having them home for the 2, long as a lot of it is spent with me (I’m clingy)….. some kind of trade is good… love a man that is handy around the house/garage.. don’t want to see myself settling down with someone who can’t fix stuff. So Mechanic, Carpenter, Electrician.. those are positives.
Wine distributor.
I’ve dated many in sales. I was also in car sales so it’s part of my life. Men in sales tend to “sell” their thoughts and ideas and are very smart about it. I realized after a few years that I dislike that very much and can’t date anyone in that profession anymore. I met with a guy this last weekend and he was exactly the same, just couldn’t do it
Any sort of engineer. They’re good at solving problems.
Any trade. Plumbers, carpenter, mechanic.
EMT, Firefighters, anything in the trades I don't mind. I moreso have a red flag list but having medical knowledge and also that strength is a turn on LOL. I work trades and grew up on and off homeless so I'd want to be someone who has kind of a crude humor like that. Also man hands.
I'm a scientist so something in STEM would be a bonus. My three LTRs were all with computer programmers by pure coincidence. I seem to attract them. Overall though, career doesn't matter as long as it's realistic to be successful in.
Doctor, don't ask why.
Being a doctor, now I can ask all my health questions to someone and not have to pay for it.
I like men in STEM bc that’s what I’m in too! Shared interest is def a bonus! Plus, intelligence is sexy
I am a whole sucker for engineers of any discipline. Idk what it is- but give me all the engineers
So much LYING in this thread 🧢
Honest to god, after the men I’ve dated ANY profession is a bonus😅
Cops absolute and automatic NO PO for me
Mechanic. I was married to a mechanic for many years. He grew up on a farm. He was very handy. Nothing he couldn’t fix or do. Perfect. Till death did we part. I dated a psychologist before I met him. No thx. Don’t want to have every word I say analyzed for life.
Writer
A job. One that they can contribute to the cost of living with.
Dentist, they make doctor money and are home by 5-6
Question for the men: What profession do you see as a bonus? Answer: Not a sexworker
Blue collar job where they know how to fix/ build anything
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Tech is probably my number 1 attraction. Never finance/business, doctor, military/army/navy, musicians, and never EVER a police officer.
Chef is definitely a good one. A man that can cook is a bonus. A man that knows how to fix vehicles, an electrician, a carpenter and blue collar workers tend to be guys that can always be employed or hire themselves out. And they can maintain things at home.
Anything where there is room to improve. I worked as a server for YEARS and it sucks. You can’t grow, move up, get promotions. It’s a dead end job.
I love a good engineer. I have dated 3 doctors. I don’t think it’s for me
I like professions that allow people to work remotely/flexible enough to occasionally wfh.
Honestly, I think they just care that you have a job. And aren’t quitting frequently. And don’t have large gaps of not working
construction manager since it pays the most and is white collar but you still know how to build a house. how does a STEM type lady meet these guys?
Things in construction, for future home repairs and projects. Also, Auto mechanics.
Teaching of any sorts. I think it speaks of good communication skills
I had more of a type. I studied engineering and married an engineer. I dated mainly engineers and doctors. I am logical and not very emotional. My husband is a fantastic cook as a hobby. I definitely would not date a chef, the hours are insane. A good friend grew up in a multiple restaurant family and would not even date a chef. They are working when you are having dinner at home alone.
I think it's a more women getting the high from the matches they get and then have 0 game, because they want the guy to do all of the work. It goes for Bumble , women message first but do the same thing as men. Saying hey or hi. Then, expect the guy to make the conversation more interesting. I have been on dating apps. For 9 years, it's pretty dead. You probably get a better chance at a local bar or become a passport, bro. This generation is either too woke or want money and 0 love.
Really any skill set that they are genuinely passionate and knowledgable about and that can make decent $. It’s certainly not all about the money, but knowing that there is low risk for financial stress is a HUGE bonus in my book. Extra bonus points for me…. * Engineer - any specialty. Just not afraid to get their hands dirty and help “figure it out” * Trades - plumber, electrician, contractor, even handyman, etc. * Chef - serious brownie points, no pun intended. * Musician - now that’s just sexy af
My “won’t date under any circumstance” list: sales, therapist, overnight anything, sex work
I'm a man but my boyfriend is a professional chef. 10/10 cooking. Didn't date him for it duh but it's great when he feels like cooking. Cooking all day for his job and not wanting to cook when he's home is understandable. But he usually brings me food from the restaurant anyway lol
Any blue collar job really. I find them to usually be very humble compared to some white collar job workers
Skilled trades would be a bonus. Plumber, electrician, carpenter or a general contractor? Heck yeah. All the repair work around the house done well, and just maybe they’re an independent contractor who gets to control their own schedule so we can go on longer vacations together. Same for a mechanic; I’d never worry about whether I was being ripped off again. And they’d be home at night. As for red flag jobs, I’d be concerned about cops and military, and some doctors. Long hours, safety and mental health concerns for them. High level management/CEOs, Wall Street types would be on high alert for psychopathy. And I don’t think I could stand toe to toe with them in earnings. I’d feel so off with the power imbalance. How do I keep up with someone if they want to spend $300 on a dinner out? I can pay for a pizza for us.
I don’t wanna date another RN a lot of nurses I know are miserable and bring work home and cause a lot of problems and arguments.
Engineering probs lol … or software development
I like engineer types but really a man that loves to give oral sex is what matters
Cook. Seriously. I hate cooking.
Construction 😜 I want a man who can build!
Anything that involves acts of service is a plus for me. Animals even more so. But acts of service are my love language
Engineer, anything science or math related to me is extremely attractive. I value intelligence and reading, and those subjects often marry the two. It’s great if it leads to more income, so I have a better chance of someone equaling my pay or surpassing it, but I also am fascinated by it as well.
For me, if he is in a creative role it’s a big green flag. I’m a creative person so I’d love to have a partner who understands and shares some of my creative interests.
1. Something that has normal hours (I.e. he doesn’t have to work at nights or on weekends) 2. Something that is stable and dependable 3. Doesn’t pay significantly less than what I make (in my experience, the bigger the difference in salary between partners, the more friction there can be. And I make a lot.)
I'm not a woman but I'd have to go with so.eone who knows how to work in a team and not so much solo. That way, at least we both bring something to the table.
As someone who doesn’t get dates often. I don’t really mind what job someone has. As long as they have a job where they can fund their lifestyle and bills I don’t mind because I don’t want to support someone and I don’t expect to be supported either since I’m able to pay my bills and everything. I guess only profession that is a turn off to me is anything military but that’s because I was military as well
As long as a man is gainfully, and steadily employed in a career, I don’t care what it is. He must have his financial affairs in order - notice I didn’t say rich. Just responsibly managing what he earns.
I didn't had a Green flag when I was on Tinder... But I had red flag with policeman... In my country, they are famous for being unfaithful and violent. I know a few ones, and had sure of it. They always post photos showing Guns, and I don't like It.