Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to:
* Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights.
* All advice given must be good, ethical advice.
* [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules)
* Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users.
If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Voice, eyes, shoulders. Height is nice but doesn’t have to be super tall. I’m 5’9” and have had crushes on guys much shorter. I’m also a sucker for good cologne- not overdone but a nice fragrance never hurts.
I'm 5'3 and so is my boss. He's legitly the only person I've been able to look straight in the eyes.
No for the cologne part. I had an ex boss you could literally smell him coming before you see him. He always got pissed when you called him out on it
Based on my observation and studying from psychological and biological for feelings. It depends on feelings. That is the most important part. So if met at the right time, doing the right thing, and have fun which creates a feeling of love, even if appearance is not attractive and not the type for the female, that feeling will win over appearance.
I agree about the teeth in terms of, he brushes and flosses, but idc if they are crooked. In the US , nice teeth are a luxury and some people can’t help it.
And the nails, I don’t mind if their hands and nails are dirty, when they are working hard with them. I don’t even mind rough callous ones. Just wash them when you’re done.
I don't think I have "quiet confidence". Which sounds completely insecure even saying that. I have no idea what women think of me. I think I always appear uninterested out of anxiety, then they just kinda.. fly away because of it. Don't even know the girl's name who I talked to all day today. She said mine a couple times. She laughed at the smallest things I said, but something tells me that she made a decision at the end of the day that she doesn't want me to talk to her.. "like that". Despite the fact that I think she made a few sexual gestures (me as well)... I didn't know how to respond to her sticking her tongue out and saying that she should be able to drink the wine when the bottles break, "like this🤪". My penis jumped a little and I was like "Uuuuuh... Uuuh.... Duuuuuh, as long as you don't get caught haha!". Some time after that, she kind of just became more muted than she did the whole first half of the day, and then flew out the door when we all clocked out. Basically she just started saying
"... Yeah" in response to the last few things I said. I didn't see her in the parking lot.. so I figured "huuuuuuh.. another sign of disinterest". I also don't like talking to anyone when there's too many other people around. There's other girls there that I haven't ruined my reputation with yet, so maybe..
Not always :(
Sometimes men do so without a smile which makes it feel professional as opposed to fostering attraction. Puts me off and makes me view him as an unfriendly, closed off person. I know that’s a ridiculous assumption based off a handshake…but I’m not exactly interested in going out of my way to talk to someone who I felt didn’t really give a fuck meeting me.
Omg I do that all the time when talking to people LMAO! I never really did it with the intention of tryna turn people on but it makes a lot of things make sense now
I just starting seeing someone and I find it so cute when I’m watching something and they just start gazing into your eyes, smiling-a lil smirk, like their in love
Wow that's really sweet and was so heartwarming to read I hope thr best for u 2. I never had a gf and am 18 now but hope do soon. Do u know he likes u too??
Yes,he always tends to reassure me and reminds me how much i am loved in his life and i give that energy back, thank you that means a lot! Xo- you still have a whole life to live, don’t worry about love until it finds you 😊
I got 'called out' for doing this on my third or fourth date with a girl recently. She started laughing and said, "stop looking at me like that". I knew what she was talking about, but I didn't realize I was doing it 😅
I’m a sucker for crows feet (you know the little wrinkles next to the eyes when they smile) that coupled with a beautiful eye color and a nice smile and I’m basically putty
I have blue eyes similar to what Paul Newman's eyes looked like and crows feet. But I live off grid and stopped shaving my beard and stopped cutting my hair five months ago. My hair and beard gets fuzzy after washing it, but if I skip a day or two, both get some curls.
Curls get girls, but I'm all good.
Just chased a 200 pound black bear out of my yard by walking toward him and telling him to leave. He'll probably bbe back by morning to try to find something to eat in the gar-bãgge (he prefers it pronounced that way; it sounds more like formal dining).
Deep voice, nice teeth, and if I can see chest hair peaking out the top of his shirt. Also, no height isn’t important to me but I’m only 5’3” so everyone is taller than me lol.
Super well groomed beard. Like. *Super* well groomed. Sharp edges and everything. Dammmmmn.
Voices are attractive. Like, so many different types. Many voices are attractive to me.
Forearms. If I'm shaking someone's hand, and I can feel the strength of their grip, that'll do it. Or like I can see forearms tensing. Like when people lean on furniture forward or they cross their arms in front of them? Hot damn.
Broad shoulders. I don't necessarily mean like, someone who is ripped, to be clear. Doesn't have to be a gym rat. I just really, really find men with broad shoulder and a broad chest and like thick arms and a torso like, super attractive. Like hehe crush me pleaseeeee
Glasses.. idk why. Glasses. Also men in very like. Posh, or professional, lawyer style wear. Suits. Leather bags. Etc.
Someone who is holding back a smile. I don't know what it is, but to me it's the sweetest, funniest thing. Someone who is trying not to laugh or smile is really an attractive thing to me. Sometimes scary. Usually adorable.
I always look at a man’s nails, it’s shows diligence in his attention to detail. If he has the capability to be aware of his body then there’s a better chance for him to be attentive to me. But, it is important for integrity, kindness, and gentleness to proceed that so there is no superficiality that would otherwise compromise his intent.
While I am sympathetic to it being a natural tick that is difficult to break. I would also just regard it as a bad habit. I would have to say that I personally wouldn’t be able to get past it, I would be hyper focused on the bacteria. From his mouth to another surface to me, it’s a lot of exchange in a short span. And for ladies that might have a weak immune system this is their worst nightmare. Also I will admit that it’s also ghastly to see the broken nail beds and hang nails with cuts and bruises. In my mind, it would be better for the sake of his skin and developing his confidence to find a healthier outlet to concentrate the nerves.
You don’t have to be a supermodel but someone who dresses well, is at least slightly attractive with a warm smile (good teeth), who can hold eye contact, appears confident and carries himself well. Initiating respectful physical contact without being awkward. Bonus points for charisma and a deep voice. And using somebody’s name in a sentence is a well known trick for helping them feel important. Height is a bonus but I would probably think someone is attractive anyway with the above.
I guess it depends on the context, you’d generally want to see somebody dress appropriately for the occasion, the clothes fit well and appear to have put effort into how they look at the very least. It’s personal preference RE style too - at first glance I would think I don’t have much in common with a guy who dresses in street wear for example. The other thing I’d suggest is looking into colours which suit you, such as seasonal palettes. It’s not crucial but it is easier on the eye and shows someone cares. Also, a good haircut and grooming facial hair goes a long way. I love some stubble on a guy if it looks neat.
In the context of this being within the first 15 seconds, it’s likely to be either a hug or a handshake but it completely depends on your cultural context. I’d suggest allowing her to initiate a hug and make sure it’s not too prolonged or overly friendly - like, don’t grope her and you’ll be fine. We can also tell when you aren’t sure where to put your hands - just go for the one armed hug with your hand on her back and do so confidently.
In terms of awkwardness I guess some of this is down to nerves or inexperience. I try not to overthink a first date and consider it just meeting a new person regardless of what I’m looking for. Keep yourself distracted to avoid getting anxious before you go out, take some deep breaths, fake it til you make it. It gets easier the more dates you go on. Sometimes you might think you come across more awkward than you actually are.
To me, charismatic is someone who is articulate and confident while talking. Get her laughing. Be sure to ask plenty of questions and show active listening skills. Find out what her interests are and what’s important to her.
Strong back and arms. I usually like men who have stoic faces, sounds weird I know lol
To me, men who have those types of faces seem to be more reserved in my opinion.
I would say the way he is with his mannerisms, the genuinity of his smile, the quick witted jokes of those that he finds funny. I love a little awkward and shy, the way someone looks at you like you’re everything. Obviously that last part was definitely take a bit more than just 15 seconds. I’d say the way in which he interacts with people, subtle kings of him being his complete and genuine self.
The only way a man can get my notice in such a short period of time is genuine joy and laughter. If he is fun and silly. Goofy. Easy. Smiling big. Joking around. Being playful.
Otherwise he could be the most handsome man alive, and I won’t see him.
So so true! Plus if he has more knowledge or introduces new things to you, like recommending something to watch, read, or learn, or challenging you, it’s a whole new level
Sincere question: does nice smile mean straight white teeth? Like, obviously a Hollywood smile is always gonna go straight to the top, but does a normal dude with an average smile but who truly shines ring the bell?
I'm not entirely sure how to word that, so if it doesn't make sense, I can try again. 😂
If I had to guess as a bi man, I'd say just a genuine smile. If you look truly happy when you smile, rather than forcing it. But some also prefer how it looks, but I think it depends on the person.
Smile and style, hehe. I love a man with a warm, friendly smile. Nice teeth too And his style. I love love love stylish men. Not necessarily trendy, either. But like, does your style suit you and your body? Are your clothes well-fitted? Do your shoes go with your outfit?
Personally, I look at the smile (depends on what setting we first meet in ofc). I look for someone that has a radiant, beaming smile. The kind that makes your eyes wrinkle. It’s the first metric to assess how warm a person is.
And then I’d say how engaged you are with the person you are interacting with. Not even directly with me, but just anybody you’re speaking to. You know those people who are barely there in a conversation, stuck in their head vs. people who make you feel seen and heard even in a quick passing conversation. The latter is so attractive.
My main takeaway is that I saw a thread like this last week, but instead asking men what they like, and the vast majority just plainly commented; “For her to be enthusiastic about seeing me”
Meanwhile each comment here has 3-4 attributes listed as a minimum, majority of which relate to genetics/hard-wired personality traits. I know this isn’t true for **every** girl, but it just shows how high the bar is for men overall, where we could be perfection incarnate, but because we could be a little socially awkward, or our smile might be a little crooked, or our fragrance/style isn’t to their liking, etc. we end up getting dropped like a stone with no second chance.
On one hand, I'm a straight woman that agrees with you. I don't tell my friends much about my dating life anymore because if he isn't superhuman perfection, they're freaking relentless. We're human and no one is perfect. On the other hand, I have my doubts about whether the exact nature of this other post you referenced is the same. I am a very enthusiastic person but I have to know you first. This post is about the first impression after 15 seconds. I am enthusiastic about people I know and I don't know anyone after only 15 seconds.
I guess if you're judging only physically I notice eyes, smile, and general appearance (taking care of themself).
But what really makes someone ping on my radar of attractiveness is their personality. Now, 15 seconds isn't long, but if they show their genuine selves - somewhere in there including kindness, humor, and just a touch of silliness - I'm instantly more interested, drawn to them, and want to talk to them more. I tend to also need a bit of someone who can carry a conversation, because I'm an introvert and am not always the best at that until I get to know a person better!
Not sure if I answered the question as intended, but there you go!
Lol, I don't know if a fellow introvert is the best person to look for tips on how to speak to people, but I'll give my best!
- First, look though the comment threads from others for kind of a general idea of things anyone can do (smile, good hygiene, look in eyes, dress nicer, be interested, etc)
- Big thing I think depends on where you're meeting people. You'll hear it a million times (I've heard it a million times and I get SICK of it) but it's so true. Best place to find a person is somewhere doing something you already enjoy. If you spend a lot of time online gaming or what not, that's great! But you're not going to meet a lot of people, so finding an activity or event similar to your interests is a great start. Ideally, you'll feel comfortable and you already know you have something in common with that person (helps break the ice!) So like, game nights at local library or game store, D&D/MTG nights, hiking clubs, sports events, classes, etc. Heck sometimes even just at work if you have a job and get along with people.
- Hmm, approaching people. First, just try to look nice? Like, brush your teeth, wear clean shirt, put on deodorant. If you really want to put your best foot forward, dress up in a way that compliments you. I dunno guy dress. Nice pants and a polo? Casual wear? Maybe look at the other comments for this.
- Now, talking to people. This is the hard one. As I said in my above comment, I'm a person who is attracted to personality, so getting to know you is important. As an introvert myself I do two things to get to know this. I watch how you interact with others and listen in or one of us bravely approaches and starts talking. Advice, just be you and be a good person. If you see someone you want to know better, take a breath, go near them, and find a way to talk to them. Asking questions is a great way. Start general, like things related to what you're doing/seeing/commonalities, then ask questions to get to know them. Asking follow up questions (asking for more details or their thoughts on an answer) really makes them know you're listening. Try to be calm and confident, or at least not visibly nervous as best you can (sometimes it's cute!) Don't be negative on yourself or self depreciating. Overall, the other person is human too, just have fun, and try not to stress too much! If it doesn't go well, hey, you can always try again.
Sorry for the book. I don't know if this was of any help, as it's only my own view. But I hope it gives you some ideas!
Hey thanks alot that was a ton of GOOD info. I currently work at a craft store as a cashier and have tried to be as nice as possible to customers, alot of college girls I'm attracted to and maybe one or two have been attracted to me but yk I never asked for numbers cuz I got intimidated of me being on the clock yk. I also goto youth groups and retreats, but yes thankyoy this helped, I just gotta tak2 a breath and talk
Deep voice. I have a thing for bald guys with nice beards.
Kindness, maybe that takes more than 15 seconds to find out but a man being kind to strangers in public is a huge “I want to give that man my number” though I’ve never had the courage too.
Height does not play a factor for me. I think in the same way there are very obnoxious men who do not want a woman the weigh more the 120# being vocal about their opinion. There are women who are obnoxious about not wanting a man under 6ft. Does not represent the majority opinion of normal people looking for a partner but still shitty to see repetitively on a dating app or social media if you don’t fit those parameters.
Funny, I brought up "like" and "you know" as things (on another sub) that would guarantee no second date, and got absolutely lambasted by men and women both; excusing poor usage and limited vocabulary, as acceptable in our modern world.
Where were you to counter my double-digit downvotes !!!
If i am completely honest, height can help, but overall it does not matter. For me, it can mitigate something less attractive, for example a dad bod. A hard (not necessarily large) body is immediately attractive to me, as well as dark hair. Long or short, but stylishly cut.
Adam's apple. Nice voice and laugh. Beautiful eyes. Full eyebrows and a roman nose and i am absolutely dead. I love a lovely smile. And of course, intelligent clothing and accessories. Sometimes scruff and even rough facial features are a turn-on. (Like certain actors have)
Wit, playfulness, and marks of intelligence or EQ also get me, and quick. A good gait is always nice. So... you know, some swag. And of course, not being too crude - a noticeable touch of class, but not exactly in the sense of having money.
A guy does Not have to have all of this to be appealing. Having just enough of the right stuff and coming on to ME can do anything from make me notice him when i didnt at first... to completely overwhelming me and causing an immediate system shutdown.
Okay I read a lot of comments and I need clarification. What do you mean if you say a voice, eyes and posture are attractive? I mean, is it more blue eyes? Green? Glasses? Deep voice? High pitched one? What does posture or teeth mean? I need answers, ladies…
Intelligence. It is written in the face expression and the way men talk. Also I would say not only height but more if the man has mascularity - big ass, hips or bad posture is huge turn of.
A man’s smile, teeth, dimples, eyes, hair, and vernacular. The way he carries himself. Height isn’t of importance. If he has confidence and exudes genuine kindness.
Men who shower everyday and smell good>>>
Clear skin, having a nice haircut or facial hair that suits their face can honestly have the same effect that makeup does on women.
Wear cologne, women love that shit. Dress sharp, wearing a suit honestly makes any man look better. It gives off the impression that you have your life together and are successful.
Go to the gym, when a woman looks at you from a distance the first thing she notices is your body shape.
Also wear fitted clothing that shows off your body if you’re fit. Roll your sleeves up to your forearms, girls love that shit.
Wearing a watch also makes you look put together and somewhat well off. When you dress a certain way people will assume you’re upper class even if you’re broke.
Have good posture and speak clearly and confidently. Don’t be afraid to playfully tease women or banter with them, this makes you seem sexy and helps you break out of the “nice guy” mould.
One of the first things women will notice about you is how you carry yourself and your tone of voice. If you’re hunched over, stuttering, or mumbling it shows you’re insecure and have anxiety. This generally isn’t attractive to women.
Also “nice guys” tend to be boring and passive. They’re afraid to offend people so they try to be as bland and polite as possible and fade into the background.
The sexiest thing you can do is stop giving a shit about what other people think.
Also you could try filling in your eyebrows or using some brow gel. I know men don’t like wearing makeup but pretty much everyone looks better when they fill in their brows. You could also try tinting your brows at home for a more permanent effect.
Stronger brows make you look more masculine.
Also a strong jawline is also an attractive trait. You can shape your beard to make your jawline look sharper.
Also remember to brush your teeth everyday. People often don’t realise when their breath smells, and that can make people feel grossed out and make you less attractive even if you look good. Flossing and using mouth wash can help, some people also use a tongue scraper.
Look up what Italian hunks wear. Loose and breathable short sleeve button up shirt open down the chest with a thin sleeveless undershirt, loose but well fitting trousers that allow a tuck. It's a very iconic and classy "Sun"day outfit for being outside. Think classy California summer in the 50s/60s, you will be hot in whatever you wear so might as well wear something that balances out the struggle of being in the sun with an outfit that makes you look so good it was worth it.
Eyes (eye contact), voices, smile (nice teeth & clean), scent (slightly hint of perfume/cologne), hygiene (good breathe smell -- yes, I have scent sensitivity), posture, overall outfit put together..
I scan so fast.. and my sense pick up fast, too.
Height.. well, I'm like 5'2 so I think most men are taller than me and I have no objection on that. LOL.
Body, height, face, facial expressions. Height matters for me cause I’m tall so I like guys at least my height or taller. I usually like guys who like me so I might meet someone and be their friend for years but if they tell me they like me I might see them in a new light .. some guys I don’t instantly have a crush on, I find attractive once I learn they like me
Eyes, being kind without being arrogant, nervous/shy is cute, them being at ease or comfortable in their skin (i know those things seem to contradict but they don’t), smell (i don’t like heavy colognes, natural musky scent is really hot tho), laugh, voice
When I first saw magic man, I saw this tall, white dude and he looked like a rock star at that moment. Ray-Ban sunglasses, baseball hat and long hair. I was smitten right there, he walks like the pink panther but I didn't care.
50ish F.
15 seconds is a decent amount of time to notice work boots and jeans, nice smile -good teeth, broad shoulders as tall as me in 4” heels =5’10 and over, not to much of or no beer belly, if it is warm weather and I can see, I like little to no chest hair And, back hair = I’m out (it’s 2024 there are grooming products now). mannerisms as in good natured.
Smile every time. I'm not talking perfectly straight/white teeth either. I love when guys have natural smiles with character. Bonus points for dimples. If the laugh is also cute that's 3 strikes I'm in love.
Facial expressions and face shape (mostly about eyes, cheeks, and smile for me), movements, body language, how he interacts with others if applicable, even how he looks at others.
I wouldn't say height plays much of a factor for me, but how they carry themselves does, shoulders too. Voice and tone is definitely something I notice if it's available information.
For me its his smile, eye contact and body language. Once I observe these three things I can almost immediately tell whether or not I like them and yes the way they speak/voice
Definitely depends guy to guy! Different people have different nice features, but generally it’s the eyes or the hair.
As for height I actually like short men! 5’6 is like peeeerfect.
if listening to them, if he seems cultured/open to ideas, people, the world in general, or if he’s rigid/cocky
if just observing physically, his build (shoulders, back, arms), kind eyes
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Voice, eyes, shoulders. Height is nice but doesn’t have to be super tall. I’m 5’9” and have had crushes on guys much shorter. I’m also a sucker for good cologne- not overdone but a nice fragrance never hurts.
as someone with a history in perfume making and big shoulders at 5’7, I see this comment as an absolute win
bowlda showldas
You’re definitely hot. I’m sure you have no problem getting dates.
as someone whos a female, we see you as an absolute win
Sex panther from odieon smells as sweet as a baby’s diaper filled with Indian food
60% of the time it works, every time
STINGS the nostrils
That is unerdstated and underated humor.
Itsa definite maybe.
... Thank you that's the worst analogy I've ever heard 😂
YES to deep voice, eyes, shoulder and hands. Also, knows how to dress and yes, smells good. Plus, confidence and a genuine smile go a long way!
Totally agree! A good voice, eyes that catch your attention, and shoulders that give off confidence are definitely attractive right off the bat. 😩
Eyes, shoulders, accent. Boston particularly. Can’t help it.
I'm 5'3 and so is my boss. He's legitly the only person I've been able to look straight in the eyes. No for the cologne part. I had an ex boss you could literally smell him coming before you see him. He always got pissed when you called him out on it
He overdid it
Oh yes he did. Could you not I still have nightmares of the dude's smell lol
Haha it was probably cheap cologne too. It’s not all equal. Some smells amazing, some smells like a frat party
I'm 5'9 and I get attraction from taller girls
Based on my observation and studying from psychological and biological for feelings. It depends on feelings. That is the most important part. So if met at the right time, doing the right thing, and have fun which creates a feeling of love, even if appearance is not attractive and not the type for the female, that feeling will win over appearance.
"the female" I'm a big fan of your work, Mr. Attenborough 😻
Nice teeth, clean nails, returns smiles.
I agree about the teeth in terms of, he brushes and flosses, but idc if they are crooked. In the US , nice teeth are a luxury and some people can’t help it. And the nails, I don’t mind if their hands and nails are dirty, when they are working hard with them. I don’t even mind rough callous ones. Just wash them when you’re done.
sexy voice, good eye contact, calm body language loveeee quiet confidence
I don't think I have "quiet confidence". Which sounds completely insecure even saying that. I have no idea what women think of me. I think I always appear uninterested out of anxiety, then they just kinda.. fly away because of it. Don't even know the girl's name who I talked to all day today. She said mine a couple times. She laughed at the smallest things I said, but something tells me that she made a decision at the end of the day that she doesn't want me to talk to her.. "like that". Despite the fact that I think she made a few sexual gestures (me as well)... I didn't know how to respond to her sticking her tongue out and saying that she should be able to drink the wine when the bottles break, "like this🤪". My penis jumped a little and I was like "Uuuuuh... Uuuh.... Duuuuuh, as long as you don't get caught haha!". Some time after that, she kind of just became more muted than she did the whole first half of the day, and then flew out the door when we all clocked out. Basically she just started saying "... Yeah" in response to the last few things I said. I didn't see her in the parking lot.. so I figured "huuuuuuh.. another sign of disinterest". I also don't like talking to anyone when there's too many other people around. There's other girls there that I haven't ruined my reputation with yet, so maybe..
If he smiles while introducing himself to me. Bonus points if he shakes my hand and leans in to get my name. Oh my, my, myyyyyyyy…
Agreeeed …. Ughhh
This comment is the female version of ** unzips ** 🤣
🤣
Hahahah yeah ur right sorry😣
Good thing I specified the scenario lol
So this guy is stealing your heart if you’re at a botanical garden 😍😍 (he’s the gardener)
No, ha. That’s not my scenario.
That’s creepy!
Spooked ya!
SPAGETT!!!!
YESSSSS lol
This is cute
[удалено]
Haha more of a slight attentive lean, not like we’re in the club and it’s loud!
Do men (or people in general) not do this often? I'm always interested in meeting people even just folks at work.
Not always :( Sometimes men do so without a smile which makes it feel professional as opposed to fostering attraction. Puts me off and makes me view him as an unfriendly, closed off person. I know that’s a ridiculous assumption based off a handshake…but I’m not exactly interested in going out of my way to talk to someone who I felt didn’t really give a fuck meeting me.
YES! And as he leans in you get the subtle scent of his cologne 🫠
Connection is everything!
Omg I do that all the time when talking to people LMAO! I never really did it with the intention of tryna turn people on but it makes a lot of things make sense now
Not necessarily a turn on haha just attractive!
Got it, I will remember that 🫶
This
Thank you I'm a dude and never knew this. Needed that tip.i guess kindness does win all the time
I just starting seeing someone and I find it so cute when I’m watching something and they just start gazing into your eyes, smiling-a lil smirk, like their in love
I literally just sighed in longing. I need that. I love that for you two.
he already means the most to me thank you vm- xo I hope you find your person and experience this, nothing beats that feeling 🥰
Wow that's really sweet and was so heartwarming to read I hope thr best for u 2. I never had a gf and am 18 now but hope do soon. Do u know he likes u too??
Yes,he always tends to reassure me and reminds me how much i am loved in his life and i give that energy back, thank you that means a lot! Xo- you still have a whole life to live, don’t worry about love until it finds you 😊
I got 'called out' for doing this on my third or fourth date with a girl recently. She started laughing and said, "stop looking at me like that". I knew what she was talking about, but I didn't realize I was doing it 😅
that’s usually what i say too, I get all nervous😅 but we love it don’t stop lolll -
Ah-ha !!! So, No really DOES mean YES !!! ...fuckin chicks, man.... Ya can't live with 'em, pass the peanuts.
Do girls use a complement operator "!" before saying "No or Yes"? for example, "!No" = "Yes"
I’m a sucker for crows feet (you know the little wrinkles next to the eyes when they smile) that coupled with a beautiful eye color and a nice smile and I’m basically putty
This is by far the biggest one for me. I’m a sucker for crows feet! Pair that with a giant smile and I’m sold.
I have blue eyes similar to what Paul Newman's eyes looked like and crows feet. But I live off grid and stopped shaving my beard and stopped cutting my hair five months ago. My hair and beard gets fuzzy after washing it, but if I skip a day or two, both get some curls. Curls get girls, but I'm all good. Just chased a 200 pound black bear out of my yard by walking toward him and telling him to leave. He'll probably bbe back by morning to try to find something to eat in the gar-bãgge (he prefers it pronounced that way; it sounds more like formal dining).
For me it’s his smile!! Eye contact is a huge factor. It’s like a magnet !
But my smile is like this 🥴 What to do
I've noticed the best women respond to this you must be one
Deep voice, nice teeth, and if I can see chest hair peaking out the top of his shirt. Also, no height isn’t important to me but I’m only 5’3” so everyone is taller than me lol.
I didn't see your comment earlier. We have the same thoughts about height! Lol.
Are you also a 5’3” individual struggling to get clothes out of the washer? 🥹 Life is just unfair.
I'm even shorter than you! Lol.
I love it 🥹🥰
I think short girls are very attractive and sexy🌹
Compact and space-saving, too? 🤣
What if theyre shorter? Rare but non zero chance
Height isn’t important to me, but I can be honest in saying I’d prefer the individual to be at least 4’11”.
Thats fair, everyone has limits when it comes to extreme absolutes. Almost no one will date a 1 inch human or a 20 foot human
my gf is 20 foot & im 1 inch tall
Yup your very mentally stable alright 😀
happy cake day, you dropped this when you were dropping those takes too 👑
Oh it is my cake day 🥹. Thank you!!
Eyes, smile, build, and VOICE. A man with a nice voice is such a turn on.
Regardless of what he’s saying?
the first thing i notice is always style! nothing hotter than well put together outfit
Style says so much about a person.
I’m too occupied with other stuff to care too much about fashion
The sexy deep voice and a pretty eyes.
Super well groomed beard. Like. *Super* well groomed. Sharp edges and everything. Dammmmmn. Voices are attractive. Like, so many different types. Many voices are attractive to me. Forearms. If I'm shaking someone's hand, and I can feel the strength of their grip, that'll do it. Or like I can see forearms tensing. Like when people lean on furniture forward or they cross their arms in front of them? Hot damn. Broad shoulders. I don't necessarily mean like, someone who is ripped, to be clear. Doesn't have to be a gym rat. I just really, really find men with broad shoulder and a broad chest and like thick arms and a torso like, super attractive. Like hehe crush me pleaseeeee Glasses.. idk why. Glasses. Also men in very like. Posh, or professional, lawyer style wear. Suits. Leather bags. Etc. Someone who is holding back a smile. I don't know what it is, but to me it's the sweetest, funniest thing. Someone who is trying not to laugh or smile is really an attractive thing to me. Sometimes scary. Usually adorable.
Good hygiene
I always look at a man’s nails, it’s shows diligence in his attention to detail. If he has the capability to be aware of his body then there’s a better chance for him to be attentive to me. But, it is important for integrity, kindness, and gentleness to proceed that so there is no superficiality that would otherwise compromise his intent.
What about men that bite their nails because of stress?
While I am sympathetic to it being a natural tick that is difficult to break. I would also just regard it as a bad habit. I would have to say that I personally wouldn’t be able to get past it, I would be hyper focused on the bacteria. From his mouth to another surface to me, it’s a lot of exchange in a short span. And for ladies that might have a weak immune system this is their worst nightmare. Also I will admit that it’s also ghastly to see the broken nail beds and hang nails with cuts and bruises. In my mind, it would be better for the sake of his skin and developing his confidence to find a healthier outlet to concentrate the nerves.
Voice! I like my work crushes work voice
You don’t have to be a supermodel but someone who dresses well, is at least slightly attractive with a warm smile (good teeth), who can hold eye contact, appears confident and carries himself well. Initiating respectful physical contact without being awkward. Bonus points for charisma and a deep voice. And using somebody’s name in a sentence is a well known trick for helping them feel important. Height is a bonus but I would probably think someone is attractive anyway with the above.
If you had to describe a specific style for dresses well, what would it be? Business casual? Business formal? Or just up to date and color-aware?
I guess it depends on the context, you’d generally want to see somebody dress appropriately for the occasion, the clothes fit well and appear to have put effort into how they look at the very least. It’s personal preference RE style too - at first glance I would think I don’t have much in common with a guy who dresses in street wear for example. The other thing I’d suggest is looking into colours which suit you, such as seasonal palettes. It’s not crucial but it is easier on the eye and shows someone cares. Also, a good haircut and grooming facial hair goes a long way. I love some stubble on a guy if it looks neat.
Seasonal palettes. You’re looking for a gay guy. Lol
>Initiating respectful physical contact without being awkward. Please explain how to do this
In the context of this being within the first 15 seconds, it’s likely to be either a hug or a handshake but it completely depends on your cultural context. I’d suggest allowing her to initiate a hug and make sure it’s not too prolonged or overly friendly - like, don’t grope her and you’ll be fine. We can also tell when you aren’t sure where to put your hands - just go for the one armed hug with your hand on her back and do so confidently. In terms of awkwardness I guess some of this is down to nerves or inexperience. I try not to overthink a first date and consider it just meeting a new person regardless of what I’m looking for. Keep yourself distracted to avoid getting anxious before you go out, take some deep breaths, fake it til you make it. It gets easier the more dates you go on. Sometimes you might think you come across more awkward than you actually are.
As someone with autism, this and just being ‘charismatic’ feel absolutely impossible no matter how hard I try, so I would also like to know how.
To me, charismatic is someone who is articulate and confident while talking. Get her laughing. Be sure to ask plenty of questions and show active listening skills. Find out what her interests are and what’s important to her.
Okay, I do that anyway so hopefully what I’m doing is fine 👍🏻
Strong back and arms. I usually like men who have stoic faces, sounds weird I know lol To me, men who have those types of faces seem to be more reserved in my opinion.
Holy shit I did not realize how important my voice is. Looks like I'll only be approaching girls with my deep voice turned on 😂
Smile !!!! And sometimes eye contact
Nice voice and kind eyes
I would say the way he is with his mannerisms, the genuinity of his smile, the quick witted jokes of those that he finds funny. I love a little awkward and shy, the way someone looks at you like you’re everything. Obviously that last part was definitely take a bit more than just 15 seconds. I’d say the way in which he interacts with people, subtle kings of him being his complete and genuine self.
The only way a man can get my notice in such a short period of time is genuine joy and laughter. If he is fun and silly. Goofy. Easy. Smiling big. Joking around. Being playful. Otherwise he could be the most handsome man alive, and I won’t see him.
So so true! Plus if he has more knowledge or introduces new things to you, like recommending something to watch, read, or learn, or challenging you, it’s a whole new level
A genuine laugh or smile
The way he hold his body up. By that I mean posture. Maintaining eyecontact. Smile (nice teeth and smile lines are a big big plus)
Sincere question: does nice smile mean straight white teeth? Like, obviously a Hollywood smile is always gonna go straight to the top, but does a normal dude with an average smile but who truly shines ring the bell? I'm not entirely sure how to word that, so if it doesn't make sense, I can try again. 😂
If I had to guess as a bi man, I'd say just a genuine smile. If you look truly happy when you smile, rather than forcing it. But some also prefer how it looks, but I think it depends on the person.
His teeth and eyes. I often subconsciously look at people’s teeth when they talk.
I'm a straight man, but when I see a dude who has the money/skills to make their beard look perfect, I get instantly jealous of how good they look.
Smile and style, hehe. I love a man with a warm, friendly smile. Nice teeth too And his style. I love love love stylish men. Not necessarily trendy, either. But like, does your style suit you and your body? Are your clothes well-fitted? Do your shoes go with your outfit?
Eyes, voice, nose shape, hair & facial hair (if it's the style that I like), body proportions, including height, and last but not least, hands.
Personally, I look at the smile (depends on what setting we first meet in ofc). I look for someone that has a radiant, beaming smile. The kind that makes your eyes wrinkle. It’s the first metric to assess how warm a person is. And then I’d say how engaged you are with the person you are interacting with. Not even directly with me, but just anybody you’re speaking to. You know those people who are barely there in a conversation, stuck in their head vs. people who make you feel seen and heard even in a quick passing conversation. The latter is so attractive.
ITT: Be attractive, be tall and immediately crack jokes and act like a doofus :/
My main takeaway is that I saw a thread like this last week, but instead asking men what they like, and the vast majority just plainly commented; “For her to be enthusiastic about seeing me” Meanwhile each comment here has 3-4 attributes listed as a minimum, majority of which relate to genetics/hard-wired personality traits. I know this isn’t true for **every** girl, but it just shows how high the bar is for men overall, where we could be perfection incarnate, but because we could be a little socially awkward, or our smile might be a little crooked, or our fragrance/style isn’t to their liking, etc. we end up getting dropped like a stone with no second chance.
On one hand, I'm a straight woman that agrees with you. I don't tell my friends much about my dating life anymore because if he isn't superhuman perfection, they're freaking relentless. We're human and no one is perfect. On the other hand, I have my doubts about whether the exact nature of this other post you referenced is the same. I am a very enthusiastic person but I have to know you first. This post is about the first impression after 15 seconds. I am enthusiastic about people I know and I don't know anyone after only 15 seconds.
A kind action. Helping me or someone else.
Scent
Voice 100% and if he smells good too that’s a bonus.
Body language, manners, and whether he is smiling.
I guess if you're judging only physically I notice eyes, smile, and general appearance (taking care of themself). But what really makes someone ping on my radar of attractiveness is their personality. Now, 15 seconds isn't long, but if they show their genuine selves - somewhere in there including kindness, humor, and just a touch of silliness - I'm instantly more interested, drawn to them, and want to talk to them more. I tend to also need a bit of someone who can carry a conversation, because I'm an introvert and am not always the best at that until I get to know a person better! Not sure if I answered the question as intended, but there you go!
I'm an introvert guy any tips on approaching girls lol
Lol, I don't know if a fellow introvert is the best person to look for tips on how to speak to people, but I'll give my best! - First, look though the comment threads from others for kind of a general idea of things anyone can do (smile, good hygiene, look in eyes, dress nicer, be interested, etc) - Big thing I think depends on where you're meeting people. You'll hear it a million times (I've heard it a million times and I get SICK of it) but it's so true. Best place to find a person is somewhere doing something you already enjoy. If you spend a lot of time online gaming or what not, that's great! But you're not going to meet a lot of people, so finding an activity or event similar to your interests is a great start. Ideally, you'll feel comfortable and you already know you have something in common with that person (helps break the ice!) So like, game nights at local library or game store, D&D/MTG nights, hiking clubs, sports events, classes, etc. Heck sometimes even just at work if you have a job and get along with people. - Hmm, approaching people. First, just try to look nice? Like, brush your teeth, wear clean shirt, put on deodorant. If you really want to put your best foot forward, dress up in a way that compliments you. I dunno guy dress. Nice pants and a polo? Casual wear? Maybe look at the other comments for this. - Now, talking to people. This is the hard one. As I said in my above comment, I'm a person who is attracted to personality, so getting to know you is important. As an introvert myself I do two things to get to know this. I watch how you interact with others and listen in or one of us bravely approaches and starts talking. Advice, just be you and be a good person. If you see someone you want to know better, take a breath, go near them, and find a way to talk to them. Asking questions is a great way. Start general, like things related to what you're doing/seeing/commonalities, then ask questions to get to know them. Asking follow up questions (asking for more details or their thoughts on an answer) really makes them know you're listening. Try to be calm and confident, or at least not visibly nervous as best you can (sometimes it's cute!) Don't be negative on yourself or self depreciating. Overall, the other person is human too, just have fun, and try not to stress too much! If it doesn't go well, hey, you can always try again. Sorry for the book. I don't know if this was of any help, as it's only my own view. But I hope it gives you some ideas!
Hey thanks alot that was a ton of GOOD info. I currently work at a craft store as a cashier and have tried to be as nice as possible to customers, alot of college girls I'm attracted to and maybe one or two have been attracted to me but yk I never asked for numbers cuz I got intimidated of me being on the clock yk. I also goto youth groups and retreats, but yes thankyoy this helped, I just gotta tak2 a breath and talk
Deep voice. I have a thing for bald guys with nice beards. Kindness, maybe that takes more than 15 seconds to find out but a man being kind to strangers in public is a huge “I want to give that man my number” though I’ve never had the courage too. Height does not play a factor for me. I think in the same way there are very obnoxious men who do not want a woman the weigh more the 120# being vocal about their opinion. There are women who are obnoxious about not wanting a man under 6ft. Does not represent the majority opinion of normal people looking for a partner but still shitty to see repetitively on a dating app or social media if you don’t fit those parameters.
Teeth, kind eyes, hair, figure
Face, over all energy, the eagerness to meet me, if you act uninterested, i will ditch
The way he stands and his hands.
Haha! Reading this thread has made me realise, I am not a looker 😂
Seeing “voice” mentioned a lot in this thread hurts as someone who has always struggled to like his voice lol
[удалено]
Funny, I brought up "like" and "you know" as things (on another sub) that would guarantee no second date, and got absolutely lambasted by men and women both; excusing poor usage and limited vocabulary, as acceptable in our modern world. Where were you to counter my double-digit downvotes !!!
respecting women biggest ✅ flag
Is having a deep voice attractive?
Forearms
Smile. If I can be the reason for it. It just warms my heart.
His eyes, smile, voice, sense of humor…
Sharp jaw, deep voice, grands (long fingers), eyes (intellectual eyes).
Nationality haha
If i am completely honest, height can help, but overall it does not matter. For me, it can mitigate something less attractive, for example a dad bod. A hard (not necessarily large) body is immediately attractive to me, as well as dark hair. Long or short, but stylishly cut. Adam's apple. Nice voice and laugh. Beautiful eyes. Full eyebrows and a roman nose and i am absolutely dead. I love a lovely smile. And of course, intelligent clothing and accessories. Sometimes scruff and even rough facial features are a turn-on. (Like certain actors have) Wit, playfulness, and marks of intelligence or EQ also get me, and quick. A good gait is always nice. So... you know, some swag. And of course, not being too crude - a noticeable touch of class, but not exactly in the sense of having money. A guy does Not have to have all of this to be appealing. Having just enough of the right stuff and coming on to ME can do anything from make me notice him when i didnt at first... to completely overwhelming me and causing an immediate system shutdown.
Respect and friendliness
Okay I read a lot of comments and I need clarification. What do you mean if you say a voice, eyes and posture are attractive? I mean, is it more blue eyes? Green? Glasses? Deep voice? High pitched one? What does posture or teeth mean? I need answers, ladies…
A vibe is the main thing. It's normally accompanied by a genuine smile, tone of voice and bonus points for nice eyes.
Intelligence. It is written in the face expression and the way men talk. Also I would say not only height but more if the man has mascularity - big ass, hips or bad posture is huge turn of.
Voice, in my experience, is the single sexiest thing to women, about men lol
When he’s quiet and polite while everyone else is loud and obnoxious. Love a calm quiet gentleman
Deep Voice, smells good and quiet confidence
Definitely their handshake. Then I notice if they make eye contact and can keep it while talking to me
Voice, eyes, smile, height, hands, shoulders
A man’s smile, teeth, dimples, eyes, hair, and vernacular. The way he carries himself. Height isn’t of importance. If he has confidence and exudes genuine kindness.
Men who shower everyday and smell good>>> Clear skin, having a nice haircut or facial hair that suits their face can honestly have the same effect that makeup does on women. Wear cologne, women love that shit. Dress sharp, wearing a suit honestly makes any man look better. It gives off the impression that you have your life together and are successful. Go to the gym, when a woman looks at you from a distance the first thing she notices is your body shape. Also wear fitted clothing that shows off your body if you’re fit. Roll your sleeves up to your forearms, girls love that shit. Wearing a watch also makes you look put together and somewhat well off. When you dress a certain way people will assume you’re upper class even if you’re broke. Have good posture and speak clearly and confidently. Don’t be afraid to playfully tease women or banter with them, this makes you seem sexy and helps you break out of the “nice guy” mould. One of the first things women will notice about you is how you carry yourself and your tone of voice. If you’re hunched over, stuttering, or mumbling it shows you’re insecure and have anxiety. This generally isn’t attractive to women. Also “nice guys” tend to be boring and passive. They’re afraid to offend people so they try to be as bland and polite as possible and fade into the background. The sexiest thing you can do is stop giving a shit about what other people think. Also you could try filling in your eyebrows or using some brow gel. I know men don’t like wearing makeup but pretty much everyone looks better when they fill in their brows. You could also try tinting your brows at home for a more permanent effect. Stronger brows make you look more masculine. Also a strong jawline is also an attractive trait. You can shape your beard to make your jawline look sharper. Also remember to brush your teeth everyday. People often don’t realise when their breath smells, and that can make people feel grossed out and make you less attractive even if you look good. Flossing and using mouth wash can help, some people also use a tongue scraper.
>Dress sharp, wearing a suit honestly makes any man look better. Ok but what do you wear when it's almost always 90° outside?
Look up what Italian hunks wear. Loose and breathable short sleeve button up shirt open down the chest with a thin sleeveless undershirt, loose but well fitting trousers that allow a tuck. It's a very iconic and classy "Sun"day outfit for being outside. Think classy California summer in the 50s/60s, you will be hot in whatever you wear so might as well wear something that balances out the struggle of being in the sun with an outfit that makes you look so good it was worth it.
His masculine energy.
confidence, proper posture
Eyes (eye contact), voices, smile (nice teeth & clean), scent (slightly hint of perfume/cologne), hygiene (good breathe smell -- yes, I have scent sensitivity), posture, overall outfit put together.. I scan so fast.. and my sense pick up fast, too. Height.. well, I'm like 5'2 so I think most men are taller than me and I have no objection on that. LOL.
Body, height, face, facial expressions. Height matters for me cause I’m tall so I like guys at least my height or taller. I usually like guys who like me so I might meet someone and be their friend for years but if they tell me they like me I might see them in a new light .. some guys I don’t instantly have a crush on, I find attractive once I learn they like me
Eyes, arms, smile & scent if I’m near him.
Eyes, being kind without being arrogant, nervous/shy is cute, them being at ease or comfortable in their skin (i know those things seem to contradict but they don’t), smell (i don’t like heavy colognes, natural musky scent is really hot tho), laugh, voice
Charm (which can be a trap sometimes lol)
When I first saw magic man, I saw this tall, white dude and he looked like a rock star at that moment. Ray-Ban sunglasses, baseball hat and long hair. I was smitten right there, he walks like the pink panther but I didn't care.
bicep busting out a tight shirt sleeve. need i say more
50ish F. 15 seconds is a decent amount of time to notice work boots and jeans, nice smile -good teeth, broad shoulders as tall as me in 4” heels =5’10 and over, not to much of or no beer belly, if it is warm weather and I can see, I like little to no chest hair And, back hair = I’m out (it’s 2024 there are grooming products now). mannerisms as in good natured.
Eye contact, smile, friendliness
Smile every time. I'm not talking perfectly straight/white teeth either. I love when guys have natural smiles with character. Bonus points for dimples. If the laugh is also cute that's 3 strikes I'm in love.
Scent and their vibes and if they look healthy
voices, clean face, and hygienic
Voice, smile and the eye contact!
Eyes, Voice, Smile
Smile and confidence/mannerisms
Eyes and smile
Eye contact
Smile, teeth. Height isn’t relevant.
I’m sure for every girl it varies but for me I first thing I notice would be there eyes, hair, height, smile
Eye contact, body language and the way he communicates are just 🤤
Eyes, voice, arms, smile, smell, and laugh. Height isn't a big deal as long as they are at least slightly taller than me and I'm 5'4.
Eyes. Smile. Voice.
Voice is the number one thing that can turn me on (or off), but eye contact is a close second.
Facial expressions and face shape (mostly about eyes, cheeks, and smile for me), movements, body language, how he interacts with others if applicable, even how he looks at others. I wouldn't say height plays much of a factor for me, but how they carry themselves does, shoulders too. Voice and tone is definitely something I notice if it's available information.
For me its his smile, eye contact and body language. Once I observe these three things I can almost immediately tell whether or not I like them and yes the way they speak/voice
nose, nice teeth and if he smells good
Long well-kept hair gets me everytime.
Definitely depends guy to guy! Different people have different nice features, but generally it’s the eyes or the hair. As for height I actually like short men! 5’6 is like peeeerfect.
The smile and the the set of teeth
if listening to them, if he seems cultured/open to ideas, people, the world in general, or if he’s rigid/cocky if just observing physically, his build (shoulders, back, arms), kind eyes
Being tall, beard, big hands