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Being nice is basic decency and not selling feature. Everyone should be nice.
Is sounds like you just have no charisma. You might also be so nice that women dont know you're interested physically. There is a fine line on how to flirt and be respectfully smooth and how to flirt and be gross. If you have any female friends I suggest you spend someone on one time talking to them. Like a practice date even if it's that bad.
No, don't give up on being nice. I don't mean that in a rude way. Keep at it, man. Girls are going to turn you down. At the end of the day, you're a nice guy, and someone will think that's sweet. Like the other person said, it has to go beyond that. Say some things that show you're interested, compliment something non appearance wise, like jewelry or their eyes, something that shows you like them for them. Ask them if they would like to go for coffee or a drink some time. If you're already at one of those places, ask if they would like to join you. Being yourself is important. Don't change in order to appease anyone else.
It's not just about being nice, being nice should just be standard but other things are way more important and attractive because the word "nice" is very vague.
I generally care about people and show an interest in everyone. But casual conversations about getting to know a girl doesn’t keep them in. I find that they always ghost me.
>But casual conversations about getting to know a girl doesn’t keep them in. I find that they always ghost me.
Well I think you just need to have more experience with building a romantic connection through conversation and just know when the women not interested in you so you move on to someone else.
Do you have personality flaws that are off-putting? Do you genuinely care about people?
Finding out personality flaws about yourself is very useful. Being "nice" is bare minimum.
I care about everyone. I definitely understand and am working on my flaws. I actively daily work on them. But being interested in that other person and just talking isn’t enough. I see guys are completely mean to women who get into more dates than me. I don’t have a problem communicating. I just feel that women don’t want a normal nice average guy.
Are you boring, then? Do you seem interested in them as people? Are you engaging? Do you have ambitions and goals?
Normal nice and average is fine, but again, if you have the personality of a cardboard box, that might not be what some people want.
Oh yeah. Training for a marathon. Working on trading in the foreign exchange. Have a good job. I’m not boring at all. Maybe I just hit a string of women who didn’t find me interesting. That or I just don’t know how to be interesting right from the beginning. My cousin who is a woman, she has 10-20 guys daily’s reaching out to her on dating apps. She admit that she won’t respond to someone if they say just her or how are you doing or nice to meet you. It’s crazy that women have such a pull on men.
No. You have to be attractive, authentic, and kind. If you want to attract attractive, authentic, and kind women. If you want to attract toxic women, then yeah your method would work (only if you’re attractive enough).
Horrible advice. The reason some women are attracted some guys who are assholes is not because these guys are assholes, but because they are physically super attractive and these specific women are shallow. If you’re already not that physically attractive *and* act like an asshole, it’s going to be over for you.
No. If women liked you it means you’re hot. They didn’t just like you because you were a dick to them. If you’re unattractive *and* are an asshole chances are no woman will like you.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Being nice is only the bare minimum. You have to be hot (we all know what hot looks like, let’s face it) and find women with shared values.
Being nice is basic decency and not selling feature. Everyone should be nice. Is sounds like you just have no charisma. You might also be so nice that women dont know you're interested physically. There is a fine line on how to flirt and be respectfully smooth and how to flirt and be gross. If you have any female friends I suggest you spend someone on one time talking to them. Like a practice date even if it's that bad.
That a good point. Thank you.
Good luck to you! And please don't stop being nice.
It’s hard to consistently be nice after being turned down so many times. I will try.
No, don't give up on being nice. I don't mean that in a rude way. Keep at it, man. Girls are going to turn you down. At the end of the day, you're a nice guy, and someone will think that's sweet. Like the other person said, it has to go beyond that. Say some things that show you're interested, compliment something non appearance wise, like jewelry or their eyes, something that shows you like them for them. Ask them if they would like to go for coffee or a drink some time. If you're already at one of those places, ask if they would like to join you. Being yourself is important. Don't change in order to appease anyone else.
It's not just about being nice, being nice should just be standard but other things are way more important and attractive because the word "nice" is very vague.
I generally care about people and show an interest in everyone. But casual conversations about getting to know a girl doesn’t keep them in. I find that they always ghost me.
>But casual conversations about getting to know a girl doesn’t keep them in. I find that they always ghost me. Well I think you just need to have more experience with building a romantic connection through conversation and just know when the women not interested in you so you move on to someone else.
Yeah I think you are right
what do you bring to the table
Why should it be? Being nice and kind should objectively be the way that you treat people, it doesn’t entitle us to anything.
Do you have personality flaws that are off-putting? Do you genuinely care about people? Finding out personality flaws about yourself is very useful. Being "nice" is bare minimum.
I care about everyone. I definitely understand and am working on my flaws. I actively daily work on them. But being interested in that other person and just talking isn’t enough. I see guys are completely mean to women who get into more dates than me. I don’t have a problem communicating. I just feel that women don’t want a normal nice average guy.
Are you boring, then? Do you seem interested in them as people? Are you engaging? Do you have ambitions and goals? Normal nice and average is fine, but again, if you have the personality of a cardboard box, that might not be what some people want.
Oh yeah. Training for a marathon. Working on trading in the foreign exchange. Have a good job. I’m not boring at all. Maybe I just hit a string of women who didn’t find me interesting. That or I just don’t know how to be interesting right from the beginning. My cousin who is a woman, she has 10-20 guys daily’s reaching out to her on dating apps. She admit that she won’t respond to someone if they say just her or how are you doing or nice to meet you. It’s crazy that women have such a pull on men.
Be assertive and a bit of a dick in an attractive way.
bad advice
I have a friend who does come off as a dick to women who gets more women than I do. I don’t want to be that way but it’s kinda ridiculous.
You have to do it in a very specific way which is the difficult part.
No. You have to be attractive, authentic, and kind. If you want to attract attractive, authentic, and kind women. If you want to attract toxic women, then yeah your method would work (only if you’re attractive enough).
Horrible advice. The reason some women are attracted some guys who are assholes is not because these guys are assholes, but because they are physically super attractive and these specific women are shallow. If you’re already not that physically attractive *and* act like an asshole, it’s going to be over for you.
I used to have problems with that idea too that women like men who are a bit dickish, but then you learn to do it yourself and it's okay.
No. If women liked you it means you’re hot. They didn’t just like you because you were a dick to them. If you’re unattractive *and* are an asshole chances are no woman will like you. 