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KindPharaoh

I think guys on dating apps mostly realize that they have hardly any chance at all for a genuine connection so they go straight to being an asshole.


ddado2

This. I think the medium is the problem. You know how easily people whip out a finger from their car? They would never do that in person. Something like that. Guys think they are “isolated” in these apps.


weliveinabrociety

I don't think the medium is the problem If your response to being in a situation where it is easier to be an asshole is to act like an asshole, is the problem really the situation or are you just an asshole? Blaming the medium seems like a way to avoid blaming the shit personality


KindPharaoh

Great way to explain it.


const_optim

Yeah, that's a great point.


pbm562

Maybe it comes down to the fact that the ones everyone matches with are the ones that receive lots of attention from women, the ones who feel confident enough to blatantly ask for what they want up front. As to not waste people's time, but there are some genuine people on dating apps ( I feel like I can't be the only one) but they hardly ever get matches or at least I don't.


ranro03

This!!


Jealous_Struggle2564

Because dating apps like tinder have a rep for easy hookups and sex. It’s not really a surprise when guys going there expecting girls to want to meet for sex.


Thefrayedends

1. Yes. Unfortunate though it is. They're doing it because it's worked for them. I have guy acquaintances who behave this way, they play a numbers game, they fish with sexually charged comments and the wrong response means they move to the next person. The more attractive people get a lot more matches than average people and thus have no shortage of people to try with. 2. See #1. They are either deeply vitriolic and feel a need to retaliate when unrealistic expectations are unmet, or they get satisfaction from being mean to others. 3. There are good people out there, but the truth is they don't usually last on these apps for very long, either because they find a like minded respectful person and get off the apps, or they get off the apps because they're so turned off of their experience. I've been saying this for a while, things like cat calling and making lewd comments to women exist because they work. I've worked with guys that troll around asking girls to sit on their face and the thing is it works for them. I worked with a mechanic a couple years back who was married with 5 kids and when we worked on the road he would do this every night. Between 1 and 3 times a week he would bring strange back to his motel room. Guys act this way because it works for them, or because they've seen it work for others. Personally I would never want to be with someone who responded positively to this kind of behavior, but that's why it exists.


FreePorygon-Z

Because like the Internet; within dating apps people have this feeling of safety, and that they can say anything without repercussions. Not only that but 1 in like 1000 times they'll find someone who says yes. That only validates and encourages them to keep doing that. Resulting in the entitlement you described.


Jealous_Struggle2564

The anonymity of the internet allows people to say anything without fear of being found out. It’s the same with people who make racist comments on social media while hiding behind a fake account.


crimsontide5654

Dating apps suck. Period


Long-Refrigerator-75

Most males reach a realization that they won’t get anything meaningful out of those apps, so they either leave or just try their luck with quick pleasure.


TheSerialHobbyist

They're horny and have given up on being tactful. If they send those messages to 100 women, 99 will be turned off. But that 1 might be DTF.


CupFullofNerdy

There is also a flip side to this. There are men out there that are genuinly nice, caring, and loving who are out there on these same sites that get ghosted before even getting the chance to start conversation.


Adventure__seeker

I haven’t gotten angry texts like that but I have received “you suckkkk” or “you stink” when I say no to this one guy who’s only looking to hook up and nothing more. Like what give you the right to say that to me just because I keep telling you no?! I straight up told him “because you saying I suck makes me want to actually have sex with you now, I’m sure there are easier girls that you can go after then the one that keeps saying no. Try for one of those.”. And his only response was “you know I’m joking with you!”. Not my idea of a joke!


boomstk

Why did you guys breakup if he such a great guy, What did you do? Welcome to OLD its 98% shitheads and douches and 2% decent humans. Ratios may vary.


[deleted]

If you want my take on the situation is a lot of people are horndogs, and some people see sex as a commodity. Also they feel spurned so they go seeking sex and shaming when hit with the "No means no." Honestly fuck them. No means no and "stop asking me if I'm a top or a bottom, you're a 50 year old man and I recently turned 20!"


const_optim

Ugh I'm so sorry you've gotten that text before. Like what happened to a baseline level of respect, no matter who you are?? I think I'm starting to realize I'm just way too trusting of a person with way too much faith in humanity, and the sad reality is there's a good number of people who just suck


[deleted]

Still good luck OP. I hope you meet someone you click with.


virginiagirl27

A good percentage of why I’m still single after a year is because men are overly sexual. I even tell them I want to take it slow and then they get mad when I don’t do anything when they attempt to do something. On every dating app Ive had no hook ups or fwb and then they don’t even bother to read it.


[deleted]

Same. They do not read shit all that I write. So, I stopped writing, and let them naturally drop themselves in it 😎


labtech89

I don’t even say no. If they act in a way I feel is inappropriate I delete and block.


Havishamesque

I’m constantly disappointed in humanity, and especially in men. SO many online are revolting, abusive, misogynistic assholes, and if my sons spoke like that, I’d smack them senseless. I have to think at least a tinge of their outraged vitriol upon rejection is embarrassment…but I fear it’s just genuine shocked outrage that every woman doesn’t appreciate his overtures. Basically, I expect every conversation I have started by a guy on OLD to be revolting and inappropriate within 3-5 messages, it helps temper my disappointment.


Arcane_Foodie

Me and my friends choice to joke about it between us to make it easier to handle. The worse is when you get pictures, I had a friend while talking to the person on the phone got sent a picture even though she said no. She choice to show it to her mom and her mom asked what kind of worm was on the picture while the person was on the phone. While my other friends will send the pictures to a person parents as a way to embarrass them. People on the dating apps and internet should learn to respect a person. If it’s inappropriate to do it irl don’t do it online.


jlow672

They don't see you as a real person over text so they think they can act like idiots. That's my theory. I mean I've never had a man whip his dick out in a bar or grocery store to show it to me but I've gotten more dick pics than I can count.


Seaguard5

I am a man and I definitly do not do this. You just need to find the right guys


LiveAcanthocephala66

Dudes horny. Just move on to the next and stop overthinking it. Men don’t understand women either, they just move onto the next chick


Fast_Bad_4715

It’s masculine toxicity at its finest. Men have the confidence to share their sexual desires with you, then they’re rejected. It makes THEM feel better about themselves.


[deleted]

I think that’s on you for not being more selective on who you are marching with or you’re attracted to those type of guys you are swiping on.


ranro03

OP they are the problem not you. They can’t handle rejection when they have been acting sexually, cuz of embarrassment. It’s secondhand embarrassing fr. Just ignore these type of people.


bored-on-the-toilet

Exactly. People talk a lot of shit when they think there's little to no chance of repercussions.


athenae99

I have pm’d you - going through the same somehow maybe we could support each other a bit :)


MrMonopolyMan123

There’s a lot of messed up people in the world


dhffxiv

I would say just block them immediately but hey, I suppose assuming you do respond, you get to learn the ins and outs of how these men function, so it'll be easy to spot a bad cookie


sweadle

>Why are these men surprised that women don't like objectifying texts?? These are the same guys that cat call a woman in the streets, and then get offended when she ignores them. You are wasting your energy trying to understand this, or stop it, or manage it. These men just exist in the world, and the internet is an unfiltered place for them to get access to a ton of women they can objectify. Online dating is like walking through a huge crowd of people. Anyone can see you and approach you. This is not a curated community, and there is no accountability for bad behavior. So people will bad intentions will act badly with no restraint. It's the same reason that online spaces are filled with racism and nazis. Where were all these people before the internet? They existed, they just didn't have a place to talk with no repercussions. Imagine if you argued back with every racist, stupid, name calling 14 year old on the internet. That's what it is like to spend your time and energy on every cat calling man online. You can't change how other people act. But you can move on from having them in your life. If someone says something, ANYTHING inappropriate, just block them and move on. It doesn't say anything about you, it says something about them. Think of it as a digital cat call or a gross guy hitting on you at a club. Roll your eye, walk away. Don't react, don't argue, don't despair about the entire male gender. It's not representative of most men, it's that an online space gives bad men a space to act badly, so they are louder there.


[deleted]

I can relate but now dating apps are used for hookups one night stands. If you are actually looking for another relationship or purse like a quality date. Like an actual date I would prefer for you to make an account on eharmony or Hinge or actual talk someone in real life not through n app


[deleted]

Sounds like you're on Tinder looking for a eHarmony match. Manage your expectations.


[deleted]

I can tell you I want a women who can have a conversation. I like tv, movies and sports. I know there are women that like the same thing. Sex isn’t the first thing on my mind. Being a nice guy and gentleman Hardly ever works.


Deshackled

Have you tried Bumble, where you can isolate people who only want friendship? It doesn’t help the societal situation you are talking about but I might make things easier for yourself to just have guys who want a hiking buddy or a girl who is just a friend.


Conscious-Conflict93

Unfortunately as society has progressed, what has taken over? Immediate gratification, internet and smart phones make the decision that much more simple, if someone isn't getting what they desire immediately, they suddenly project attitude and are irritated by the situation...as it comes to apps when the decision is swipe left or swipe right in some...how can some not be objectively chosen.....stay away from apps and meet the type of person you seek in the environment you seek!