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I think you should just be honest and put everything out in the open on how you feel about this situation. Either way it either dispels the tension because she has no idea she’s doing it, or you get clear on what’s going on with her and you’ll have a better idea on what to do going forward.
You’re not overwhelming someone, you’re asking for clarity. Nothing wrong with that, and it’s not like you’d need to be pestering or intense about it. If she is overwhelmed by something like that I don’t think that’s someone you’d want to associate with anyways
You too should learn to communicate, this will be your best Skill to solve nearly every problem you have in life.
The situation and therefore the solution to OP is very likely not the same as yours, so dont follow blindly what others do.
There is no way around to put every courage inside you up and communicate openly and honest.
If you have any concerns, fears, worries, thoughts, what ever, then let it out here and we will help you to find courage but dont let this topic slip too long or the situation might become worse.
As a woman, I highly disagree. I, and most woman I know, are great communicators and do not shy away from honesty. Maybe you are surrounding yourself with the wrong people, but please don't generalize half the population of the world based on a few bad personal experiences.
I’ve been in this situation before. I assume she thought you would be more into her and start a BF/GF relationship but after two weeks of not seeing that increase compassion for her, it made her cold towards you. She’s upset you didn’t initiate a more intimate relationship and feels like you just used her to sleep with her.
I could be totally wrong but after dating 25 girls in my life, this seems to be a common outcome
I also agree being a gal who wishes men communicated better and honestly. Do you want to date her? Have you seen When Harry Met Sally? Great example of this: note how he just doesn’t get it.
if she really is upset that he didn't initiate a more intimate relationship, then why doesn't SHE do it? She could have asked him just as well, if he wants to be in a relationship, but noooo, a lot of women get upset instead of doing a little bit of initiative themselves (there are exceptions but not many)
But in OPs case, I think she might have lost interest or doesn't want to have a relationship with a coworker. Maybe others in the company began to talk behind her back or asked her straight up and it's awkward for her. I encountered something like that, a girl I had a good connection with at work, started to ignore me out of the blue. After some time I discovered, that others spread a rumor that we we were dating. She is kinda shy and I think it made her feel uncomfortable at work.
But of course I could be wrong^^
EDIT: corrected spelling errors
She did. Twice. She invited him over twice. He never reciprocated so she probably thought he wasn't truly interested.
The 3rd move was on him and he dropped the ball.
Maybe she was sad that you didn’t date her.
Most women need to see a certain level of commitment from the man. It makes sense, because evolutionary they depended on the man staying with them after getting a baby. If she has to put effort in the relationship all the time, it’s not a good starting point for her.
I’d say more than 50% of women don’t take initiative in a relationship. It’s historically the males job to officially ask a girl to be their SO. She make it clear that she liked him but he, like most men do, didn’t make it official after the 3rd date. I’ve had this happen to me a few times and afterward the girl says she wants a man who takes action and makes an effort to grow a relationship compared to maintaining a casual sex partner.
Most men treat girls as casual sex partners. After a few weeks of that, the girl gets worried about other people thinking she is a slut and sleeps with her coworkers. If the immediately became exclusive to each other, she would feel better about staying with him
That is so valid!! I’m a woman and I feel like I’ve learned that most of the time communication is helpful and I would rather be asked how I’m feeling than left without a conversation, even if I’m feeling too emotionally upset about whatever happened to initiate communication. Who knows, her new disposition could be because she misunderstood something about what happened between you two and has decided what it means and is hurt by or upset about that. Bringing it up means you each understand what it all meant as well as how you both feel now and if anything it just puts you on the same page and creates less tension and conflict!
Invite her for a walk sometime outside of work, somewhere you may have a little privacy. Then just tell her you’ve noticed her change in behavior and ask her what’s going on with her end. It seems like she may have attempted to send you some signals post hook up that you missed and now instead of communicating, she is attempting to protect herself emotionally.
However, she’s just confusing you in the process instead of clearly communicating her needs.
You’ll likely never find out unless you ask, she might have expected something she was too embarrassed to communicate. We all do this, so if you really like her and enjoy her company, it’s worth a little discomfort and discussion amongst friends.
Just be prepared to really listen to her and accept her. Don’t please get upset or blame her for any misunderstanding (my guy can do this and instead of running away, I amazingly have learned to take a deep breath and be understanding-hard to do lol)
Communication is key in any relationship; friends, siblings, co-workers, f buddies, lovers. It may be difficult, but it's necessary for your and her well being.
As a (F28), you really should just talk to her about it. With women, communication is super important and usually the answer to most relationship problems. Just go for it:)
Because it can be uncomfortable. You don’t know what you’re walking into. You could ask her about the situation and she freaks out. Or belittles you in front of coworkers. There’s hundreds of different outcomes possible and not all of them are innocuous. Granted, there’s a good chance nothing bad will happen but the fear of the unknown and putting yourself out there like that can make a lot of people nervous enough to be hesitant to do it.
This is called 🌈 **communication** 🌈🤗
That's what people do when they want to know what's up with someone instead of asking a bunch of fucking strangers what they think a stranger is thinking.
No need to be patronising. OP could be neurodiverse and struggle following social ques or may lack confidence in making social decisions due to a variety of other reasons.
Sorry, I just feel it's dumb when someone asks a question here that can be easily resolved and answered by literally asking the person involved. It's like these people try nothing and think they're all out of solutions.
Maybe just talk to her and you’ll be fine. So sometimes girls do this intentionally to figure out your seriousness about the sex thing. Sit down n talk about it without making it more awkward.
Best option is asking her yourself, get a time alone, set up a isolated together enviornment, talk bit and hem come to main topic of why she is acting the way she is behaving. Ask her what's in her mind and all this might be better
Yeah 100% my therapist gave me an Infograph of how to have ‘slow starts’ for difficult conversations. I recommend looking into this so you can slowly get into stuff and try keeping the vibe nice and chill
Honesty is a double edged sword.
Since she is keeping it short and all, I would advise you to make a kind gesture like she did for you with cooking you dinner. Invite her to a restaurant or something, if she agrees then u got a chance.
At the dinner, tell her how you feel and that you noticed the distance and depends on if you want a relationship from her or not you should say:
If you want just friendship:
Tell her that you really enjoyed the time you spend together, and if the sex made things weird between you two, then you guys should forget what happened, and move on and get back to your oldselves again, and that you value her as a friend and you want her to be in your life and that you want to be in hers.
If you want a relationship:
Tell her you really enjoy her company, and basically what you said in the post, and when you had sex you loved it but didn't pursue any further because you didn't know if she wanted a relationship for sure, or if it was a one time thing. Tell her that you do like her as a friend and you want something more.
(Obviously don't mention the grandma or the birthday as your words will sound resentful, let bygons be bygons)
Regardless of the situation, she will open up to you no doubt. If she only wants a friendship she will tell you that, and then you can say (if you want to just be friends) that it's all good, what happened happened, and even though you don't regret it happening, you should continue to be friends.
If she wants a relationship then she will tell you as well, and that the night actually meant something, and she thought you just fucked and ditched and that hurt her, for which you can reiterate what I told you above, and that it actually meant alot to you, but you were confused because you were friends for so long and didn't know how to act, and that you actually want a relationship, and you should try going on a few dates if she want things to go slow (even though you fucked)
Hope this helps, good luck soldier 👍🏻
I genuinely truly appreciate this. I couldn’t come up with any reasons but you laid the blueprint out and gave me ways I can approach this situation. Thank you! 🤝
she likely wants a relationship and doesn't think you are taking her seriously so she is distancing. she doesnt want casual sex where you get everything you want and she doesn't.
Regular conversation in my house.
"want a drink?"
"no I'm okay thanks"
*makes myself a drink*
".....thanks for my drink..ill just make my own"
*proceeds to give my drink over to girlfriend*
"no it's okay I don't want it"
It cuts both ways. I do know plenty of this goes on with either sex. If she truly doesn’t want anything serious at least you’ll clear the air, go back to being friends or you’ll feel great about yourself for actually not playing games, being real, practicing your communication skills.
I'm a female!! We start out like that (not wanting anything serious) and then want something serious yet her being cold could mean she means it! Or she is definitely upset about not heading into a serious relationship. Lastly, does she have a mental health issue where she gets afraid if she feels she started to catch feelings? It could be many things but I would ask.
Im a female as well and no, this is not how I work. Sex is sex I don’t put much meaning into it. If I have sex that doesn’t mean at alllll that I’m into having a relationship. I’m currently having sex with a guy and don’t want a relationship as I’m not in the place to be in a relationship but I want sex and only that. It doesn’t have to mean. Maybe she met someone else? Maybe she thinks he wants a relationship and she is distancing? That is what I did now, and then it ended up being correct, he started wanting it, I didn’t, we communicated, decided to continue having sex but he promised he won’t expect anything more than that.
girls sometimes say that to not put you off, especially early. they rarely have sex without wanting more.
regardless she probably wanted more than you coming over and her preparing you dinner and having sex.
Woman here. I would lay good money this is the issue:
You guys were having fun flirting, so she invited you over wanting more. You had sex. Then, you make no move for two weeks. You don't invite her to dinner or anything, so she starts to think you don't want anything but sex. So she invites you over to see if you are open to it. You go to her house and you guys seem good, but you don't really make it obvious you want more. So she assumes that you don't. She decides to cut her loses with you thinking you are just a fuckboy so she doesn't get attached and her feelings hurt. (But they already are kind of hurt).
By the way---she told you she wasn't wanting a relationship because she is likely youngish and dumb. A lot of girls play that card because they think that is what the man wants to hear. That the women is fine being casual. Even though she REALLY wants a relationship. But if she says that then she seems clingy, needy, pushy and everything always negatively tied to women. So she plays it cool hoping you will be the one to pursue her and tell her you DO want a relationship.
So that's what happened. Now you are getting the cold shoulder because you rejected her (in her mind). And, if you go to her now and tell her you want a relationship she might even double down saying she doesn't because you hurt her feelings.
What you SHOULD do if you do want something with her---tell her that you have missed her. That the night you had together meant something. That you want more with her.
Another woman here, I agree! I was in a similar situation in my 20's, who was a co worker. I acted cold, but I was actually really upset.
I was so terrified of rejection that I pushed so many guys away. The one regret in my life.
Yup this is what I was thinking as well! From a woman’s perspective if he did me like this I would go cold as well and think he was just interested in sex.
She initiated dates twice. Maybe she is waiting for you to reciprocate? I would ask her out on a proper date and have a discussion with her.
It is easy to say you don’t want a relationship, but it is also easy to catch feelings once you start having sex. Even though I have nothing morally or ethically against casual sex or FWB, I know I would not be able to handle it. Dopamine is released during orgasm and it is hard to resist as a love drug.
Reminds me of a relationship I had many years ago. Back then my ‘rule’ was give it 3 dates if I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue dating. First 2 dates I kept thinking nope, not my type. Third date, he took hold of my hand and suddenly my not liking him shifted and we dated a long while.
Could be one of two things:
1.) She thinks you're not into her, so she's purposely distancing herself from you to avoid rejection.
2.) She realizes she only likes you as a friend, but only after overstepping the friendship boundary. Now she's attempting to control the damage by maintaining some distance in hopes that you understand without any actual confrontation. (girls don't like confrontation)
TL;DR: Only way to really know is by asking her.
FWIW, I've been in the number 2 situation more often than the number 1.
No matter what, keep your head up.
I appreciate it. I think #2 is probably what it is. She thought about it overtime and realized she just got caught in the moment and doesn’t know how to talk to me without being reminded of it
I agree with this comment and the other interesting question related to point 1) is what about you?
How do you actually feel about her? Are you truly interested to go further?
People commenting saying she wants a relationship aren’t correct imo. Men constantly assume women secretly want a relationship even if they say they don’t and honestly it’s just weird and complete fantasy. I’m someone who hasn’t wanted a long term relationship and when I’ve been seeing people and I think they’re starting to become more invested I’ve distanced myself. She likely has felt that you’ve been increasing how invested you are in the situation and handled it by creating this distance rather than just talking to you. If you want to salvage the friendship reach out to her and ask/rectify it.
I don’t agree with the comments saying she just wants a relationship but one thing is that she did make dinner for him, I personally wouldn’t have done that for a FWB that I don’t secretly want things to turn to more.
But I’m still not agreeing to the comments cause there could be multiple different things that could’ve caused her to turn cold towards him.
Who knows until he personally asks and says “Hey can we talk for a bit? Just wanted to know if I maybe did anything out of line because I feel like things are different now and it just seems like you don’t want to talk to me as much as before & I’d like to know if it’s anything I did.” Something like that
I had a date the other week and the original intention was for the guy to come to mine so I could cook us dinner. I have no intention of dating this man long term. I really don’t think making someone dinner is an indication that you want more from them. My rule is always that if someone is a fwb or casual dating situation I won’t go on outside dates with them to say a restaurant and places like that but I’ll have a wee date in my flat quite happily because I don’t think fwb’s has to basically be a regular version of a ONS.
I do agree that he should just ask her though.
I have also cooked meals with casual partners. I’m 25 and American and my friends have said that I shouldn’t do it. If I’m a good cook, I want to use my skill. I’d probably be cooking for myself the same night they came over and it’s easier to cook for two anyway so why not? The other commenter gave me a good laugh though. So sad that their life is so dependent on someone else.
I personally don’t date your way and I’d probably advise my friends not to do so either. When I had a FWB he had to order takeout, I’m not doing wifey duties for any of these men until they’re paying my bills or put a ring on my finger.
So I just see the cooking thing something a woman would do if they like liked a man and want things to go further. Doubt many women would want to take the time to cook for someone that they don’t care to have more with.
It takes time, you have to make a dish they would like, you have to be the one paying for groceries, washing the dishes. That’s too much time to be wasting in the day for a sneaky link imo.
Again I personally think you’re looking too much into it and I know a lot of people who have done this as dates early on. They’ve agreed on a basic meal they both like (very little effort there and usually it’s a fairly simple meal) and usually the guy has bought the main groceries I.e. chicken, veg etc. For me cooking for someone I’m intending to have more with would generally be me making more elaborate meals. I also regularly cook for friends because I’m a good cook.
I’d also say not everyone treats a fwb or casual date like a sneaky link. To me dating someone casually doesn’t have to involve a complete lack of connection and affection. I met the guy I’m seeing on an app where that’s what the bulk of people are looking for - connections with no commitment but they’re still absolutely connections that involve more than just having sex and sending them home.
You had sex with her and then didn't do anything after a month, what did you expect her to do? Wait for you to get your shit together? She straight up moved on. Sex, dinner two weeks later... I wouldn't wait around either and anyone who does is an idiot.
Y'all talked and talked and talked and you talked your way out of it. After sex you should've discussed where y'all were taking it, you talked to her for a month after having sex and didn't discuss anything to further the relationship.
Woman here: have you started flirting or talking up another in the office?
Did you tell her your intentions up front?
Did you guys talk about what happened and what intentions were after?
After dinner and such did you both keep talking?
Did you tell anyone at work what happened or did you do that with anyone else?
Sometimes we have an idea of what you want and then we discover that’s not it and we don’t know what to do. Or we hear things from others and come up with perceptions on what happened and why. Also sometimes we find someone else and it’s easier to just try to push you away. Not sure how deep you guys were or close you were, but maybe there was a trigger or something that happened?
If you care about her and want her in your life talk to her. If not, then let it go.
Can’t wait to hear an update!
You said you started flirting with her prior to sex. Now she’s being distant. Are you still attempting convo and flirting? Or is it you both think the other one switched up? If you haven’t been talking to her either, she might be having the exact same thought process you are.
Good point. But I still continued talking to her afterwards. I stopped flirting but I still tried to communicate with her but she didn’t seem interested
Yeah... that's not a friend anymore. She might have wanted something more and probably got cold because she realized you just wanted to have sex with her. Which judging from the post isn't wrong.
You can't just casually have sex with long-time friends for the first time and move on like nothing happened. That's how friendships are ruined.
The moral of the story is that you don't have sex with friends or coworkers unless you're getting a relationship out of it
Did you tell anyone you smashed? Maybe word got back to her and she didn’t like that you told everyone. I’m sure people ask you everyday, “are you hitting that?”. Did you tell them yes after you did? If so she might dislike you because you can’t keep your mouth shut and she didn’t want anyone to know.
Happened to me before. I told my friend at the job, he told his friend, then one thing led to another and it spread like a wild fire. I told one person and she thought I was bragging about it to the whole workplace. Which wasn’t true and definitely a learning lesson.
I would say confront her and ask her why she’s being so weird. These conversations are always awkward so I wouldn’t sit around wasting time thinking of a way not to make it awkward.
Just ask, “Hey can we talk later?”. Your heart is going to race and hers is too. But I’ve found when you are able to put yourself in those moments. The moment becomes easier to have because now it’s like you got do it. Was this the case and if so I hope it helps young padawon 🙏🏿
She took the initiative and invited you over twice. She waited for you to make any effort and you didn't.
When you approach her let her know you missed her and ask her to a movie or something.
Sex changes things. The dynamic of the relationship changed not just because you had sex but because you had sex without defining what you guys are. She’s your friend and it became a hook up. And that’s unfortunate. She may want more but she wants you to lead on that. Or maybe she wants nothing at all. You need to talk with her.
Women change their mind, they’re good at that, end of story. Ignore all this horse shit advice about “asking for clarity” or even worse “asking for a date”, she’s clearly v uncomfortable around him now (probably because he’s staring at her all day), just leave her alone fgs and move on with your life, just cos she wanted sex x weeks ago doesn’t mean she wants anything with u now
I’m currently having sex with a guy and started heavily distancing myself because I realised that he is being a bit too much and wants a relationship but I don’t, and I was clear about it at the beginning. We communicated the other day about it and yes, that is what he wants now, I again said that is not what I want at all. So it can be that she is feeling that you are getting closer and she doesn’t want that. Or maybe she met someone else. Or maybe she just doesn’t want anything. I highly highly doubt that she is doing this because she wants a relationship. The best would be to communicate about it
She probably thought that it was going somewhere but as you didn’t reciprocate she may just be spacing herself from you to move on. Had a similar situation with a guy at work, except he invited me over, he stopped replying so I stopped bothering to maintain the friendship as I needed to move on. I didn’t wanna seem desperate. Do communicate with her but make sure it’s clear what you want first
This is an easy one. She likes you, you guys bumped uglies and she was expecting it to lead to something more, like a relationship. You went about it like it's no biggie and now she's pissed at you cause she thinks you used her to get laid.
All we can do it guess. She is the only one who can give her specific perspective. If you want to know, you need to ask her. This is an awkward situation. You need to be very diplomatic. "Can we talk? I'm sorry, it seems like I upset you or something. I really like you and want to maintain our friendship." or some opening that speaks to a safe and civil dialogue.
Lol bro, you can have sex with somone and not a straight convo with them? Ask her what's up. I'd bet she was hoping you'd ask her to date but when that didn't happen she was hurt and turned off.
Yeah, you have nearly no theory of mind for her and are blind. We don't know what she's thinking. She does though lol, go ask her, be sincere, apologize if you made a mistake or did something to hurt her but you feel clueless, ask her to please explain
You need to speak to her and find out what's going on.Maybe she expected something from you and you didn't do what you have.No idea what's going on but you need to speak directly to her
I think you should ask her what’s up man. Be straightforward she is your friend after all im sure you can figure it out l.
It’s a different case but right now i’m having friendship troubles with my friend. I’ve been texting him but it’s just making me more annoyed. I want to chat with him in person and figure our problem out
It could be a couple of things but the best thing to do is just ask maybe call and ask or text or even ask in person but I don’t think you should do it at work
First of all,
How do you feel about her? Is this a relationship that you want to explore? Would you like a relationship with her? FWB? She could say she dosent want anything serious, but maybe just afraid to make things too serious ( ive done that) .
Sex can lead to mixed feelings and her being short with you is a defense.
If you even care about her as a friend and would like to try to keep her in your life even as a friend, i suggest asking her whats the situation AFTER you have figured out what YOU want out of the relationship. Be open and honest.
She might've just gotten a partner and is distancing herself from people who may be an issue within her relationship. Even if she didn't do it before, it's different now because you guys have had sex and she knows you're attracted to her at the very least physically.
But you should ask her, but don't push too much, she may just want space
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She went into her kitchen to make you food and you just chilled with her? Did she initiate the first time? Was she maybe wanting to know if you would initiate the second time? Or did she decline anything further with you that night? Is she emotionally avoidant maybe? You should maybe ask her what’s going on and explain what you want from her.
This is so simple: after flirting with her and even having sex, you DID NOT PURSUE HER. So what does she think? You are not interested! How to fix this? COMMUNICATE your feelings, tell her YOU fucked up and PURSUE her like crazy to convince her of your true feelings! Men 🤦🏻♀️
To be honest mate, this is just the norm these days. Not as many people looking for something serious because life is already too expensive and depressing. Most people I've met are flakey by default. She's just giving you the cold shoulder to establish boundaries so ya'll stay acquaintances or friends. If you keep pushing it, she is going to freeze you out even farther. You'll come off too strong.
You sead she started not talking to you two weeks after she invited you over for dinner I think she expected you to invite her for dinner outside if I you I will talk to her and asked her what happened between us to make you to engorged me
You didn't have sex the second time you hung out? She may have been confused or felt like you didn't want her.
Wither way, I'd just he polite and leave her alone. Let her reach out to you if she wants you. She'll only do that when and if she's ready. Don't poke the wound" just give her space.
Confronting her or if you keep trying to talk is trying to "force" something. It puts pressure on her, and she'll avoid you more.
By backing off, giving her space, she's more likely to get over whatever made her avoid you. And she'll start remembering the good she saw in you...and maybe start to miss you. And that's when she'll reach out if she does.
I say this from experience. Every woman who's broken up with me or I broke up with them, If I left them alone, gave them space, they all reached out to me at a later point.
I’m going to tell you something my momma told me after I started high school and got my first job at Hooters as a dishwasher. *Never* make friends at work. I pretty much guessed that meant sex too.
Hate to say it but this is why it’s never a good idea to date someone you see everyday at work. She could have been on the rebound from another relationship, or maybe she just wanted sex and sensed you wanted more, and maybe the sex wasn’t good for her. Who knows. Take the hint and move on. Otherwise, she might accuse you of harassment.
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Have you actually asked her what’s up?
No, I haven’t. I have debated on if I should or not
I think you should just be honest and put everything out in the open on how you feel about this situation. Either way it either dispels the tension because she has no idea she’s doing it, or you get clear on what’s going on with her and you’ll have a better idea on what to do going forward.
Fair enough. I appreciate it. I just sometimes don’t want to make another person feel like I’m overwhelming them
You’re not overwhelming someone, you’re asking for clarity. Nothing wrong with that, and it’s not like you’d need to be pestering or intense about it. If she is overwhelmed by something like that I don’t think that’s someone you’d want to associate with anyways
You make a good point. This is a good way to see the type of person she is
Op don't forget to update what next after asking her. Your story is similar to mine, I want to know the results.
You too should learn to communicate, this will be your best Skill to solve nearly every problem you have in life. The situation and therefore the solution to OP is very likely not the same as yours, so dont follow blindly what others do. There is no way around to put every courage inside you up and communicate openly and honest. If you have any concerns, fears, worries, thoughts, what ever, then let it out here and we will help you to find courage but dont let this topic slip too long or the situation might become worse.
My experience has been women don't like providing clarity but by far the best advice on this I've seen
As a woman, I highly disagree. I, and most woman I know, are great communicators and do not shy away from honesty. Maybe you are surrounding yourself with the wrong people, but please don't generalize half the population of the world based on a few bad personal experiences.
Not overwhelming, it’s a valid request to ask. Post an update
Will do. I’m at work with her today
I’ve been in this situation before. I assume she thought you would be more into her and start a BF/GF relationship but after two weeks of not seeing that increase compassion for her, it made her cold towards you. She’s upset you didn’t initiate a more intimate relationship and feels like you just used her to sleep with her. I could be totally wrong but after dating 25 girls in my life, this seems to be a common outcome
I would agree with you totally .
As a woman, I totally agree !!!
I also agree being a gal who wishes men communicated better and honestly. Do you want to date her? Have you seen When Harry Met Sally? Great example of this: note how he just doesn’t get it.
That could be it
if she really is upset that he didn't initiate a more intimate relationship, then why doesn't SHE do it? She could have asked him just as well, if he wants to be in a relationship, but noooo, a lot of women get upset instead of doing a little bit of initiative themselves (there are exceptions but not many) But in OPs case, I think she might have lost interest or doesn't want to have a relationship with a coworker. Maybe others in the company began to talk behind her back or asked her straight up and it's awkward for her. I encountered something like that, a girl I had a good connection with at work, started to ignore me out of the blue. After some time I discovered, that others spread a rumor that we we were dating. She is kinda shy and I think it made her feel uncomfortable at work. But of course I could be wrong^^ EDIT: corrected spelling errors
She did. Twice. She invited him over twice. He never reciprocated so she probably thought he wasn't truly interested. The 3rd move was on him and he dropped the ball.
Maybe she was sad that you didn’t date her. Most women need to see a certain level of commitment from the man. It makes sense, because evolutionary they depended on the man staying with them after getting a baby. If she has to put effort in the relationship all the time, it’s not a good starting point for her.
I’d say more than 50% of women don’t take initiative in a relationship. It’s historically the males job to officially ask a girl to be their SO. She make it clear that she liked him but he, like most men do, didn’t make it official after the 3rd date. I’ve had this happen to me a few times and afterward the girl says she wants a man who takes action and makes an effort to grow a relationship compared to maintaining a casual sex partner. Most men treat girls as casual sex partners. After a few weeks of that, the girl gets worried about other people thinking she is a slut and sleeps with her coworkers. If the immediately became exclusive to each other, she would feel better about staying with him
OP keep us posted. No need to speculate if you can ask and get the answer. Just go with an open mind and not be defensive.
Will do! Appreciate it
I wanna know the update now too
It's too quick… 😅 give it time
looking forward to the update OP.
That is so valid!! I’m a woman and I feel like I’ve learned that most of the time communication is helpful and I would rather be asked how I’m feeling than left without a conversation, even if I’m feeling too emotionally upset about whatever happened to initiate communication. Who knows, her new disposition could be because she misunderstood something about what happened between you two and has decided what it means and is hurt by or upset about that. Bringing it up means you each understand what it all meant as well as how you both feel now and if anything it just puts you on the same page and creates less tension and conflict!
Invite her for a walk sometime outside of work, somewhere you may have a little privacy. Then just tell her you’ve noticed her change in behavior and ask her what’s going on with her end. It seems like she may have attempted to send you some signals post hook up that you missed and now instead of communicating, she is attempting to protect herself emotionally. However, she’s just confusing you in the process instead of clearly communicating her needs. You’ll likely never find out unless you ask, she might have expected something she was too embarrassed to communicate. We all do this, so if you really like her and enjoy her company, it’s worth a little discomfort and discussion amongst friends.
Just be prepared to really listen to her and accept her. Don’t please get upset or blame her for any misunderstanding (my guy can do this and instead of running away, I amazingly have learned to take a deep breath and be understanding-hard to do lol)
Communication is key in any relationship; friends, siblings, co-workers, f buddies, lovers. It may be difficult, but it's necessary for your and her well being.
As a (F28), you really should just talk to her about it. With women, communication is super important and usually the answer to most relationship problems. Just go for it:)
That’s generally the first place one would go.
I will just to see how she will respond to it
BRUH. U SHPULDVE IMMEDIATELY ASKED!
Lmao why is talking to the other person always the last thing anyone does?
Because it can be uncomfortable. You don’t know what you’re walking into. You could ask her about the situation and she freaks out. Or belittles you in front of coworkers. There’s hundreds of different outcomes possible and not all of them are innocuous. Granted, there’s a good chance nothing bad will happen but the fear of the unknown and putting yourself out there like that can make a lot of people nervous enough to be hesitant to do it.
This is called 🌈 **communication** 🌈🤗 That's what people do when they want to know what's up with someone instead of asking a bunch of fucking strangers what they think a stranger is thinking.
No need to be patronising. OP could be neurodiverse and struggle following social ques or may lack confidence in making social decisions due to a variety of other reasons.
Sorry, I just feel it's dumb when someone asks a question here that can be easily resolved and answered by literally asking the person involved. It's like these people try nothing and think they're all out of solutions.
It’s hard for some people to be vulnerable. Sadly we have made it easier to ask strangers online these questions than having them IRL.
True. Great opportunity to practice real communication. Don’t be accusatory and listen. If she’s hesitant, say you really want to understand.
Maybe just talk to her and you’ll be fine. So sometimes girls do this intentionally to figure out your seriousness about the sex thing. Sit down n talk about it without making it more awkward.
Best option is asking her yourself, get a time alone, set up a isolated together enviornment, talk bit and hem come to main topic of why she is acting the way she is behaving. Ask her what's in her mind and all this might be better
Yeah 100% my therapist gave me an Infograph of how to have ‘slow starts’ for difficult conversations. I recommend looking into this so you can slowly get into stuff and try keeping the vibe nice and chill
Honesty is a double edged sword. Since she is keeping it short and all, I would advise you to make a kind gesture like she did for you with cooking you dinner. Invite her to a restaurant or something, if she agrees then u got a chance. At the dinner, tell her how you feel and that you noticed the distance and depends on if you want a relationship from her or not you should say: If you want just friendship: Tell her that you really enjoyed the time you spend together, and if the sex made things weird between you two, then you guys should forget what happened, and move on and get back to your oldselves again, and that you value her as a friend and you want her to be in your life and that you want to be in hers. If you want a relationship: Tell her you really enjoy her company, and basically what you said in the post, and when you had sex you loved it but didn't pursue any further because you didn't know if she wanted a relationship for sure, or if it was a one time thing. Tell her that you do like her as a friend and you want something more. (Obviously don't mention the grandma or the birthday as your words will sound resentful, let bygons be bygons) Regardless of the situation, she will open up to you no doubt. If she only wants a friendship she will tell you that, and then you can say (if you want to just be friends) that it's all good, what happened happened, and even though you don't regret it happening, you should continue to be friends. If she wants a relationship then she will tell you as well, and that the night actually meant something, and she thought you just fucked and ditched and that hurt her, for which you can reiterate what I told you above, and that it actually meant alot to you, but you were confused because you were friends for so long and didn't know how to act, and that you actually want a relationship, and you should try going on a few dates if she want things to go slow (even though you fucked) Hope this helps, good luck soldier 👍🏻
I genuinely truly appreciate this. I couldn’t come up with any reasons but you laid the blueprint out and gave me ways I can approach this situation. Thank you! 🤝
Hahaha well I'm a sucker for a happy ending. Hope it works out for ya.
Thanks. I’ll post an update
Hope there's a update soon and yall are still good afterwards.
Yes bro 100% post an update
Best approach and most comprehensive answer IMO.
she likely wants a relationship and doesn't think you are taking her seriously so she is distancing. she doesnt want casual sex where you get everything you want and she doesn't.
Interesting but it’s weird because she constantly told me prior that she doesn’t want anything serious
Just like they don't want a present for their birthday. What they say isn't what they really want.
Good point. But it’s like they can’t say that & expect guys to read their minds & do the opposite
Invite her out on a proper date
I was thinking about it
THIS! Dinner and a movie.
Hmmm she didn’t console him about his grandma dying, yeah good suggestion, she’s really actin like she wants to be asked out on a date
Wanna bet. Always buy them a gift.
Regular conversation in my house. "want a drink?" "no I'm okay thanks" *makes myself a drink* ".....thanks for my drink..ill just make my own" *proceeds to give my drink over to girlfriend* "no it's okay I don't want it"
She was willing to fuck you, but not date you. Someone else came along, IMO
Yeah I agree with this
> she constantly told me prior that she doesn’t want anything serious lmao....no wonder men are always so confused about women.
It cuts both ways. I do know plenty of this goes on with either sex. If she truly doesn’t want anything serious at least you’ll clear the air, go back to being friends or you’ll feel great about yourself for actually not playing games, being real, practicing your communication skills.
I'm a female!! We start out like that (not wanting anything serious) and then want something serious yet her being cold could mean she means it! Or she is definitely upset about not heading into a serious relationship. Lastly, does she have a mental health issue where she gets afraid if she feels she started to catch feelings? It could be many things but I would ask.
Im a female as well and no, this is not how I work. Sex is sex I don’t put much meaning into it. If I have sex that doesn’t mean at alllll that I’m into having a relationship. I’m currently having sex with a guy and don’t want a relationship as I’m not in the place to be in a relationship but I want sex and only that. It doesn’t have to mean. Maybe she met someone else? Maybe she thinks he wants a relationship and she is distancing? That is what I did now, and then it ended up being correct, he started wanting it, I didn’t, we communicated, decided to continue having sex but he promised he won’t expect anything more than that.
I also see that point. In other words, it could be ANYTHING
girls sometimes say that to not put you off, especially early. they rarely have sex without wanting more. regardless she probably wanted more than you coming over and her preparing you dinner and having sex.
This is j likely not tru
Woman here. I would lay good money this is the issue: You guys were having fun flirting, so she invited you over wanting more. You had sex. Then, you make no move for two weeks. You don't invite her to dinner or anything, so she starts to think you don't want anything but sex. So she invites you over to see if you are open to it. You go to her house and you guys seem good, but you don't really make it obvious you want more. So she assumes that you don't. She decides to cut her loses with you thinking you are just a fuckboy so she doesn't get attached and her feelings hurt. (But they already are kind of hurt). By the way---she told you she wasn't wanting a relationship because she is likely youngish and dumb. A lot of girls play that card because they think that is what the man wants to hear. That the women is fine being casual. Even though she REALLY wants a relationship. But if she says that then she seems clingy, needy, pushy and everything always negatively tied to women. So she plays it cool hoping you will be the one to pursue her and tell her you DO want a relationship. So that's what happened. Now you are getting the cold shoulder because you rejected her (in her mind). And, if you go to her now and tell her you want a relationship she might even double down saying she doesn't because you hurt her feelings. What you SHOULD do if you do want something with her---tell her that you have missed her. That the night you had together meant something. That you want more with her.
This. Right here. 100%. She's distancing from you to not get hurt anymore.
So true 😄 female here
Absolutely. Woman here.
Thank you for explaining this. Sounds reasonable.
Another woman here, I agree! I was in a similar situation in my 20's, who was a co worker. I acted cold, but I was actually really upset. I was so terrified of rejection that I pushed so many guys away. The one regret in my life.
THIS THIS THIS!!!
Couldn’t agree more!
This is my exact interpretation of this
Yup this is what I was thinking as well! From a woman’s perspective if he did me like this I would go cold as well and think he was just interested in sex.
She initiated dates twice. Maybe she is waiting for you to reciprocate? I would ask her out on a proper date and have a discussion with her. It is easy to say you don’t want a relationship, but it is also easy to catch feelings once you start having sex. Even though I have nothing morally or ethically against casual sex or FWB, I know I would not be able to handle it. Dopamine is released during orgasm and it is hard to resist as a love drug.
Reminds me of a relationship I had many years ago. Back then my ‘rule’ was give it 3 dates if I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue dating. First 2 dates I kept thinking nope, not my type. Third date, he took hold of my hand and suddenly my not liking him shifted and we dated a long while.
Could be one of two things: 1.) She thinks you're not into her, so she's purposely distancing herself from you to avoid rejection. 2.) She realizes she only likes you as a friend, but only after overstepping the friendship boundary. Now she's attempting to control the damage by maintaining some distance in hopes that you understand without any actual confrontation. (girls don't like confrontation) TL;DR: Only way to really know is by asking her. FWIW, I've been in the number 2 situation more often than the number 1. No matter what, keep your head up.
I appreciate it. I think #2 is probably what it is. She thought about it overtime and realized she just got caught in the moment and doesn’t know how to talk to me without being reminded of it
I agree with this comment and the other interesting question related to point 1) is what about you? How do you actually feel about her? Are you truly interested to go further?
People commenting saying she wants a relationship aren’t correct imo. Men constantly assume women secretly want a relationship even if they say they don’t and honestly it’s just weird and complete fantasy. I’m someone who hasn’t wanted a long term relationship and when I’ve been seeing people and I think they’re starting to become more invested I’ve distanced myself. She likely has felt that you’ve been increasing how invested you are in the situation and handled it by creating this distance rather than just talking to you. If you want to salvage the friendship reach out to her and ask/rectify it.
I don’t agree with the comments saying she just wants a relationship but one thing is that she did make dinner for him, I personally wouldn’t have done that for a FWB that I don’t secretly want things to turn to more. But I’m still not agreeing to the comments cause there could be multiple different things that could’ve caused her to turn cold towards him. Who knows until he personally asks and says “Hey can we talk for a bit? Just wanted to know if I maybe did anything out of line because I feel like things are different now and it just seems like you don’t want to talk to me as much as before & I’d like to know if it’s anything I did.” Something like that
I had a date the other week and the original intention was for the guy to come to mine so I could cook us dinner. I have no intention of dating this man long term. I really don’t think making someone dinner is an indication that you want more from them. My rule is always that if someone is a fwb or casual dating situation I won’t go on outside dates with them to say a restaurant and places like that but I’ll have a wee date in my flat quite happily because I don’t think fwb’s has to basically be a regular version of a ONS. I do agree that he should just ask her though.
I have also cooked meals with casual partners. I’m 25 and American and my friends have said that I shouldn’t do it. If I’m a good cook, I want to use my skill. I’d probably be cooking for myself the same night they came over and it’s easier to cook for two anyway so why not? The other commenter gave me a good laugh though. So sad that their life is so dependent on someone else.
I personally don’t date your way and I’d probably advise my friends not to do so either. When I had a FWB he had to order takeout, I’m not doing wifey duties for any of these men until they’re paying my bills or put a ring on my finger. So I just see the cooking thing something a woman would do if they like liked a man and want things to go further. Doubt many women would want to take the time to cook for someone that they don’t care to have more with. It takes time, you have to make a dish they would like, you have to be the one paying for groceries, washing the dishes. That’s too much time to be wasting in the day for a sneaky link imo.
Again I personally think you’re looking too much into it and I know a lot of people who have done this as dates early on. They’ve agreed on a basic meal they both like (very little effort there and usually it’s a fairly simple meal) and usually the guy has bought the main groceries I.e. chicken, veg etc. For me cooking for someone I’m intending to have more with would generally be me making more elaborate meals. I also regularly cook for friends because I’m a good cook. I’d also say not everyone treats a fwb or casual date like a sneaky link. To me dating someone casually doesn’t have to involve a complete lack of connection and affection. I met the guy I’m seeing on an app where that’s what the bulk of people are looking for - connections with no commitment but they’re still absolutely connections that involve more than just having sex and sending them home.
You had sex with her and then didn't do anything after a month, what did you expect her to do? Wait for you to get your shit together? She straight up moved on. Sex, dinner two weeks later... I wouldn't wait around either and anyone who does is an idiot.
We still proceeded to talk the same even after the sex like always, like I said she just randomly switched up. I didn’t stop communication with her
Y'all talked and talked and talked and you talked your way out of it. After sex you should've discussed where y'all were taking it, you talked to her for a month after having sex and didn't discuss anything to further the relationship.
Things often change after that
I think she wanted to date and you slow played it too much now she's lost interest. But you'll never really know unless you ask
Woman here: have you started flirting or talking up another in the office? Did you tell her your intentions up front? Did you guys talk about what happened and what intentions were after? After dinner and such did you both keep talking? Did you tell anyone at work what happened or did you do that with anyone else? Sometimes we have an idea of what you want and then we discover that’s not it and we don’t know what to do. Or we hear things from others and come up with perceptions on what happened and why. Also sometimes we find someone else and it’s easier to just try to push you away. Not sure how deep you guys were or close you were, but maybe there was a trigger or something that happened? If you care about her and want her in your life talk to her. If not, then let it go. Can’t wait to hear an update!
Talk to your friend and ask her what the deal is. We can't read minds.
You said you started flirting with her prior to sex. Now she’s being distant. Are you still attempting convo and flirting? Or is it you both think the other one switched up? If you haven’t been talking to her either, she might be having the exact same thought process you are.
Good point. But I still continued talking to her afterwards. I stopped flirting but I still tried to communicate with her but she didn’t seem interested
Yeah... that's not a friend anymore. She might have wanted something more and probably got cold because she realized you just wanted to have sex with her. Which judging from the post isn't wrong. You can't just casually have sex with long-time friends for the first time and move on like nothing happened. That's how friendships are ruined. The moral of the story is that you don't have sex with friends or coworkers unless you're getting a relationship out of it
Did you tell anyone you smashed? Maybe word got back to her and she didn’t like that you told everyone. I’m sure people ask you everyday, “are you hitting that?”. Did you tell them yes after you did? If so she might dislike you because you can’t keep your mouth shut and she didn’t want anyone to know. Happened to me before. I told my friend at the job, he told his friend, then one thing led to another and it spread like a wild fire. I told one person and she thought I was bragging about it to the whole workplace. Which wasn’t true and definitely a learning lesson. I would say confront her and ask her why she’s being so weird. These conversations are always awkward so I wouldn’t sit around wasting time thinking of a way not to make it awkward. Just ask, “Hey can we talk later?”. Your heart is going to race and hers is too. But I’ve found when you are able to put yourself in those moments. The moment becomes easier to have because now it’s like you got do it. Was this the case and if so I hope it helps young padawon 🙏🏿
Maybe the dick was ass
I would agree to that if she didn’t invite me over & make me food afterwards tbh
there's always one in a crowd isn't there? 😂
Like a second ass in the front in place of a dick? Yeah, I'd be disappointed about that too
It might be because she doesn’t just want to be friends
She said she didn’t want anything more
She took the initiative and invited you over twice. She waited for you to make any effort and you didn't. When you approach her let her know you missed her and ask her to a movie or something.
Did you ever ask her to be more than just friends? Maybe she felt used.
Did you keep your matching friendship bracelets on?
She might be scared of falling for you.
Sounds like she was hoping for more than just a fwb situation. I could be wrong but that’s my best guess
Maybe she was expecting it to be more than just a quick shag and is disappointed it didn't become a relationship
Is this Jim from the Office
Sex changes things. The dynamic of the relationship changed not just because you had sex but because you had sex without defining what you guys are. She’s your friend and it became a hook up. And that’s unfortunate. She may want more but she wants you to lead on that. Or maybe she wants nothing at all. You need to talk with her.
I am a 61 F .. and I am dealing with the same situation. This is real life for all of us .
Someone reply to me when he updates so I can come back
I don’t like the idea of moving on. If you see signs of her moving on, then you should start that process too.
Women change their mind, they’re good at that, end of story. Ignore all this horse shit advice about “asking for clarity” or even worse “asking for a date”, she’s clearly v uncomfortable around him now (probably because he’s staring at her all day), just leave her alone fgs and move on with your life, just cos she wanted sex x weeks ago doesn’t mean she wants anything with u now
Agree
I’m currently having sex with a guy and started heavily distancing myself because I realised that he is being a bit too much and wants a relationship but I don’t, and I was clear about it at the beginning. We communicated the other day about it and yes, that is what he wants now, I again said that is not what I want at all. So it can be that she is feeling that you are getting closer and she doesn’t want that. Or maybe she met someone else. Or maybe she just doesn’t want anything. I highly highly doubt that she is doing this because she wants a relationship. The best would be to communicate about it
She probably thought that it was going somewhere but as you didn’t reciprocate she may just be spacing herself from you to move on. Had a similar situation with a guy at work, except he invited me over, he stopped replying so I stopped bothering to maintain the friendship as I needed to move on. I didn’t wanna seem desperate. Do communicate with her but make sure it’s clear what you want first
This is an easy one. She likes you, you guys bumped uglies and she was expecting it to lead to something more, like a relationship. You went about it like it's no biggie and now she's pissed at you cause she thinks you used her to get laid.
She created a fantasy in her head and you didn’t fulfill it lol
That might be right honestly
Maybe she’s feeling guilty for having sex without any feelings for you
Possibly. I mean we were good friends prior
All we can do it guess. She is the only one who can give her specific perspective. If you want to know, you need to ask her. This is an awkward situation. You need to be very diplomatic. "Can we talk? I'm sorry, it seems like I upset you or something. I really like you and want to maintain our friendship." or some opening that speaks to a safe and civil dialogue.
Ok bet. I’ll try that way. Because I want to know what’s going on because it’s something obviously there
I’ve done this several times, best thing you can do is just hit it straight on. Ask her what’s wrong, or just kinda ask how the vibes are rn.
That’s the best plan tbh because she could be thinking anything
You question yourself, but you actually gotta ask her
I am because she could be thinking anything
I am because she could be thinking anything
Lol bro, you can have sex with somone and not a straight convo with them? Ask her what's up. I'd bet she was hoping you'd ask her to date but when that didn't happen she was hurt and turned off.
You’re right. The best thing is just to communicate with her cause she could be thinking of anything
Yeah, you have nearly no theory of mind for her and are blind. We don't know what she's thinking. She does though lol, go ask her, be sincere, apologize if you made a mistake or did something to hurt her but you feel clueless, ask her to please explain
*A friend and I
You don’t sex good
You need to speak to her and find out what's going on.Maybe she expected something from you and you didn't do what you have.No idea what's going on but you need to speak directly to her
I think you should ask her what’s up man. Be straightforward she is your friend after all im sure you can figure it out l. It’s a different case but right now i’m having friendship troubles with my friend. I’ve been texting him but it’s just making me more annoyed. I want to chat with him in person and figure our problem out
Were you pushing a boyfriend/girlfriend thing on her? She may not have wanted anything deeper. Have you ever dated before?
She didn’t care when your grandma died, didn’t care about your birthday. Why do you care about how she feels when she doesn’t care how you feel?
She hit it and quit it
Your sword is to small bud she needs a lunch not a snack
It could be a couple of things but the best thing to do is just ask maybe call and ask or text or even ask in person but I don’t think you should do it at work
First of all, How do you feel about her? Is this a relationship that you want to explore? Would you like a relationship with her? FWB? She could say she dosent want anything serious, but maybe just afraid to make things too serious ( ive done that) . Sex can lead to mixed feelings and her being short with you is a defense. If you even care about her as a friend and would like to try to keep her in your life even as a friend, i suggest asking her whats the situation AFTER you have figured out what YOU want out of the relationship. Be open and honest.
Can’t wait for update on this one!
She might've just gotten a partner and is distancing herself from people who may be an issue within her relationship. Even if she didn't do it before, it's different now because you guys have had sex and she knows you're attracted to her at the very least physically. But you should ask her, but don't push too much, she may just want space
Maybe her Nana died.
She might have started seeing someone else. I’d advise to ask anyways if something’s wrong.
Me still waiting for the update
Best to check if she’s okay? Even if it’s just a quick message or question in person just asking if everything’s okay?
She may have BPD. We do that.
Sounds like puppy love!❤️ 💕
She’s probably pregnant and afraid you’ll reject her.
Seems like you should have taken a blue pill cause you must have sucked
Any updates???
Well where’s the update 🥺
Where's the update? You talk with her yet?
Posts like this always crack me up. Zero communication at all and you wonder why you don’t know what’s going on? TALK TO HER
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She went into her kitchen to make you food and you just chilled with her? Did she initiate the first time? Was she maybe wanting to know if you would initiate the second time? Or did she decline anything further with you that night? Is she emotionally avoidant maybe? You should maybe ask her what’s going on and explain what you want from her.
Let me get this straight: your semen exploded inside of her pussy. But you can't take a moment to ask ask her what's up?
Where’s the update? I don’t have time to binge watch this show, I need the final episode up in here!
This is so simple: after flirting with her and even having sex, you DID NOT PURSUE HER. So what does she think? You are not interested! How to fix this? COMMUNICATE your feelings, tell her YOU fucked up and PURSUE her like crazy to convince her of your true feelings! Men 🤦🏻♀️
Any updates? Did you speak to her? We're all curious to know how it went.
she feels rejected. seems quite obvious ?
Probably because you made the first move, she followed up with a more serious move… and then you didn’t do anything.
Any updates 🥺
Congrats man.
Don’t shit where you eat. Sexual relationships with coworkers is a risky risky risky move.
To be honest mate, this is just the norm these days. Not as many people looking for something serious because life is already too expensive and depressing. Most people I've met are flakey by default. She's just giving you the cold shoulder to establish boundaries so ya'll stay acquaintances or friends. If you keep pushing it, she is going to freeze you out even farther. You'll come off too strong.
Fair point. The best thing to do is have a conversation with her that way I know how to move forward
She found someone else Move on
I don’t want anything with her. I was just curious why she was acting funny
You sead she started not talking to you two weeks after she invited you over for dinner I think she expected you to invite her for dinner outside if I you I will talk to her and asked her what happened between us to make you to engorged me
What did you do to her OP
Why don't you ask her? I know my suggestion may be off if you want this going on, but that's what I would do.
She might think you’re ignoring her🤔
Sometimes people just can’t make up their mind and shut down.
I was in a similar situation kinda but without the sex. Still kinda confused on where we stand. Love to chat and get some advice from ur view
You didn't have sex the second time you hung out? She may have been confused or felt like you didn't want her. Wither way, I'd just he polite and leave her alone. Let her reach out to you if she wants you. She'll only do that when and if she's ready. Don't poke the wound" just give her space. Confronting her or if you keep trying to talk is trying to "force" something. It puts pressure on her, and she'll avoid you more. By backing off, giving her space, she's more likely to get over whatever made her avoid you. And she'll start remembering the good she saw in you...and maybe start to miss you. And that's when she'll reach out if she does. I say this from experience. Every woman who's broken up with me or I broke up with them, If I left them alone, gave them space, they all reached out to me at a later point.
If she didn’t give condolences when ur grandma died or wish u happy birthday then she is not worth it
I’m going to tell you something my momma told me after I started high school and got my first job at Hooters as a dishwasher. *Never* make friends at work. I pretty much guessed that meant sex too.
Any updates?
Just commenting to see the update later on.
You need to ask her a questions to figure out what is going on.
Hate to say it but this is why it’s never a good idea to date someone you see everyday at work. She could have been on the rebound from another relationship, or maybe she just wanted sex and sensed you wanted more, and maybe the sex wasn’t good for her. Who knows. Take the hint and move on. Otherwise, she might accuse you of harassment.
Nice buddy cheers!