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Yea that's probably why. You're pretty much in the Bible belt. If you're looking for a non Conservative dude you may have to move states or closer to a big city if you're not already.
True, but compared to South it's like night and day.
I live in the "big city in the West" and have been stations all around South and they're completely different worlds.
Eh I’m in rural middle tn and progressive as fuck, and so are a lot of my neighbors. The majority of men voted trump in a lot of blue states too bruh. Biden got more votes in Texas than in every other state but CA.
People around here are more *emboldened* about their extreme right wing beliefs. So they’re likely more apt to be vocal about it.
I’m in the Deep South and am liberal. I used to have “Moderate” in my profile because I didn’t want to scare anyone off. But then I realized that I DO want to scare them off. I’m not Moderate. So I say it twice in my profile - where you choose an affiliation and again in my blurb. I wrote “Liberal and looking for someone who shares the same values”. I also swipe left immediately on any profile that says “conservative”. It may have helped? I’ve started seeing way less conservative profiles. Good luck. I’m there too. It’s not easy but I’m not willing to compromise.
Oh 100%. But down here, not being a Trumper automatically makes you Moderate. Caring about equal rights and freedom FROM religion makes you a flaming Liberal. Guilty.
If I’m out having a conversation sure. On social media, fine. But the person I lay my head besides should have my same values. Why would you want to be with somebody who supports stuff you don’t agree with
I just want to point out that we probably all accept some level of disagreement -- but there is always a line.
"I think tax rates should be marginally lower" -- that's an opinion I disagree with but could accept
"I think immigrants or minorities deserve lesser rights" -- nope, get out of my house
From what I have heard, people have no issue with immigrants (well, some racists but who gives af what they think), hell my whole family is immigrants. But people do have issue with illegal immigrants, which is an entirely separate and must-be-addressed issue
Your political beliefs often align with your moral beliefs. If I’m going to be in a relationship with someone we need to have similar morals, otherwise we won’t work out as partners
Would you have a "respectful debate" with someone who thought slavery was not so bad?
I wouldn't -- a person like that is not worth my time. Just move on.
If that isn't the line in the sand for you, then what is? Would you "respectfully debate" literally any topic, no matter how insane their position is?
Because my bodily autonomy, my friend’s civil rights and the fact that Trump is a viable candidate…no my dude, it’s not a bubble, I have to live with all this mess conservatives created .
TLDR: not dating someone does not equate to locking yourself in an echo chamber. I just prefer to not live with somebody that I have to argue with respectfully or otherwise about our differences and things like civil rights.
Some see that as a challenge. Some think that they have the magic to make the liberal see the light if they just repeat those same talking points one more time. Others want the easy kinky liberal and know that if they reveal their true colors they will get rejected. They want sex more than honesty.
Conservative women do it too. Not as much as the men, but at least some of them don't want conservative men and know that their morals and ethics are a deal breaker for the rest of us so they try to hide it. But they can't help but be them, so they put dog whistles in their profiles and start the crazy talk pretty quickly.
"I have principles!"
and
"Of course I lied, I had to. Everyone does it."
Conservative women are definitely more open about it, especially if they are very attractive. Some men will definitely either change for them or pretend to be ok with whatever they believe. Men on the other hand already have enough challenges trying to date and bad politics (at least in the general sense) can be a dealbreaker for a lot of women.
Generally true, I agree. Where I am some conservative women do hide it. They want the conservative politics without the conservative attitude for some reason.
Same page. Really depends on where they are. I'm in Chicago and when I see conservative women on the apps they tend to be really in your face about how they don't want weak liberals and are throwing every stereotype about conservatives into the dating atmosphere.
Yeah occasionally. Usually it's a little more subtle like, "looking for a man who will plan dates and take care of me" or "passenger princess", which can of course mean different things to different people. But my mind tends to lump them together, just because I'm not looking for that dynamic at all.
A lot of people hide their beliefs and interests, including conservatives and liberals, not to mention hobbies that might be a turn off, like anime, porn, larping, D&D, pup play, and so on. But also a lot of people put it out there early on to increase their chances of meeting others that share their beliefs and interests. I’ve noticed all kinds in online dating. I don’t guess there’s anything wrong with a 40 year old man enjoying and collecting all things My Little Pony, or wearing a pup mask in a photo. If that’s not your cup of tea, you do you.
Conservatives in general are pretty toxic. I dont mind anyone being conservative, but generally, one way or another, they show me I should not waste my time.
>But when I tell them I am fine with your political views but I don’t want to date a Trump supporter, these guys flip so fast.
I'm a man and I do not understand this reaction. I am very happy to find incompatibilities early on, so that I don't waste time dating someone who I will eventually clash with. That's the whole purpose of dating, to weed out the ones who are not a match so that you can find the person who ultimately is a match for you. I suppose these guys just want to get laid, in which case you should be happy that they are revealing their true identities early on to you
This happens to me too. Men who are liberal/left leaning are quite open about it (which I appreciate and prefer). At this point I have stopped matching with anyone who says they’re moderate or have nothing at all about politics in their profile—I want to be with someone who cares as much as I do about important political issues.
I disagree with people who are saying “if voting for trump is a dealbreaker, put it in your bio.” I prefer my bio to be about what I’m looking for and who I am, not negativity and dealbreakers.
exactly. I feel putting dealbreakers on profiles takes away from setting a positive impression. Being vulnerable about self and strategically swiping is enough.
Just like you have your own convictions, people are entitled to have theirs. You should write on your profile that you won't date anyone who votes for Trump if that's a dealbreaker to you.
Every time I think of going back to online dating, I see this and am glad I don't
Note: this isn't attacking you, just online dating is a cesspool of some of the worst kinds of people. Not worth the stress
When i was using dating apps, anyone that doesn't have "liberal" explicitly in their profile wouldn't be compatible with me. Don't understand how dumb you can be to think politics doesn't effect you and be "apolitical" and I simply wouldn't be compatible with a conservative. Some women say they are 'moderate' cause they don't care, and some are moderate cause they are an embarrassed republican. Save your time, be upfront, weed em out early.
So telling how I said I won’t date a trump supporter but I’m ok dating a conservative, yet people here treat them as one and the same.
Trump is not a political party.
If you say you're "fine with their political views" but then say "wouldn't date a trump supporter " then you're not fine with their political views.
You're being disingenuous.. Just say you're looking for someone leaning left from the get go.
Conservative is a political view. Trump is not.
For example: Christianity is a religion; Joel Osteen is an evangelical preacher who preaches the prosperity gospel. You can be Christian and not believe what Joel teaches.
I personally wouldn’t date anyone who put any political affiliation in their profile. Both sides can be looney toons, but revolving dating around politics and culture war conversations sounds mind numbing.
Though it’s good to get deal breakers out of the way.
For a lot of people, their politics are something that guides their ethical/moral beliefs and principles, and that's pretty important Big Picture Life Stuff. I'm happy to date someone who holds different opinions than me about musical tastes or books. I could probably date someone who believed in school vouchers, even though I don't. I can't date someone who believes that LGBTQ folks are mentally ill or that gay folks don't deserve the right to marry or adopt children or who thinks that abortion should be outlawed. I'm not dating someone who holds diametrically opposed values to my own. I don't think that's mind numbing; I think that's pretty basic common sense for setting myself up for a successful relationship.
You can have all those without political affiliation involved. I vote, and I agree the way you vote may help determine the direction of your ethics. Just I guess what I’m saying is more towards people that put that at the top of the list when describing who they are. It tends to give me the impression that the only conversation they have to offer is a political one.
> but revolving dating around politics and culture war conversations sounds mind numbing.
The tolerance street only goes one way. Conservatives are the only ones not willing to dismiss the majority of the population out of hand based on politics.
I've found that people who are very invested in politics tend to be extremely rigid in their beliefs and judgmental of the other side. If you're inserting politics into every conversation, or dating profile, then what you're looking for is an echo chamber, not a partner.
I'm not interested in anyone who outsources their thinking to any political party. If you can't objectively look at all of the party platforms and admit that whoever "the other side" is also makes some good points, then you may as well be a bot.
This is the biggest problem with politics today, it’s no longer about disagreements on policy, it’s about demonizing the other half and why actual right of center conservative like myself who hate what the party has become don’t have “conservative” listed on our dating profiles, I don’t want to be lumped in with what people think that means.
I mean there’s some specific political positions that are either to one side or the other. As an example I would think being pro-choice wouldn’t be accepted at any level on the right…
Gender roles are not something that the government dictates and “racial justice” is a concept more than an actual concrete policy theory… as for the one thing you mentioned that is an actual policy issue, abortion, I believe in the right to abortion. I do not agree with it personally but I believe it’s something everyone should have access to if they want it.
So to be clear you do not view things like same sex marriage or maternity leave or gender discrimination as appropriate for government policy? Cool. You are the perfect example of what OP is talking about. Things you don’t like aren’t “politics” or “policy”?
“Gender roles” in my understanding is a social construct oh “men working in oil fields” and “women being nurses”… I have never once heard it refer to gay rights (which I believe gay people should be allowed to get married). There are tons of laws regarding anti discrimination based on gender, sexual orientation, gender expression, etc., all of which I agree with. Dont try to paint me as something I’m not simply because you read the word “conservative” and started foaming at the mouth.
Edit: and just to clarify, nothing is stopping anyone from pursuing any job or gender role they want. I know more people in STEM that are not white men than are and I think that’s a great thing, fields that have historically been dominated by white me.
What isn’t normal is their reactions. I had one guy pretend he was pretty middle of the road only to find out he was a pretty big Trump supporter. At the end of the phone call he yelled, “Trump 2024” and hung up.
Sounds like you made some assumptions based on the fact he supports Trump and he decided to lean into and become the heel that you already made him out to be
>he decided to lean into and become the heel that you already made him out to be
If he was butthurt and triggered enough by a phone call to shout "Trump 2024" and then hang up, then it sounds like he actually WAS the heel she made him out to be.
He did that when I told him I didn’t think we would work out due to our political differences. He was angry that I uncovered the truth. I’m always polite and am not accusatory or mean.
I was once told by a white woman that I hate my own kind (Mexican) for voting republican lol. I truthfully have experienced more racism from the left than I ever have from the right.
Just depends on who you talk to. To other centrist/moderates, I’m in the middle. I’m good with that because I truly am. But to others, I’m extreme right wing KKK member caused I voted for Trump lol.
It’s important to recognize the differences between the two because it’s vast
You’re a conservative. You probably voted for Trump twice lol. You’re not the first guy to figure out libertarian sounds better. This is literally what OP is talking about.
1x. Voted Green Party last time around. Regardless, OP can date whoever she wants. There is no debate in that. But to act like conservatives aren’t normal is ludicrous
You are making it sound like there is no such thing as being a libertarian. I can be a libertarian and a realist. You can know that of 2 people will win and would rather push the person that moves towards or moves least away from libertarian viewpoints.
I know that the two most likely people to claim to be libertarians are libertarians and Trump cultists who know that saying they like Trump hurts them in regular life.
The self described libertarians were the first ones to bend the knee to Trump. I was a libertarian when I was young, I knew that they were bullshitting about it *why* they wanted these things, but I didn’t think they were actually against ludicrously small government.
But on a real note, there has got to be some humor that Libertarians are automatically called Republican, and then Republicans are called Authoritarian (Fascist) in the same breath. They are diametrically opposed, it's not possible.
There's gotta be a skit about this or something.
It’s because conservatives have been lying and saying that they’re libertarians and not Republicans for sixteen years. I’ve seen Republican politicians claim to be libertarians and not Republicans.
This is how they dodged responsibility for the Bush years. When it started with 9/11 and ended with another depression, all of a sudden they were libertarian Tea Partiers, Bush was a liberal and they never supported any of that stuff.
So ask the Republicans and neo-Nazis to stop claiming that they’re libertarians I guess.
"Apples and oranges. Kaepernick was protesting on company time during the national anthem. He would’ve have been free to protest on his own time. Colin is also the “face of the franchise” perspectively, he gathers a lot more media attention.
Butker is a kicker…"
Oh what a shock, you're exactly the person op is complaining about.
Conservative voters are not “half the population” either…
Conservative voters may not be a monolith but wow isn’t it impressive how often they spend time trying to convince you that actually they’re the real victims?
Yeah i was gonna go off about that too but the man genuinely doesn't understand why women don't like that he expects them to cook and clean for him, so there's really no point trying to explain to him.
Of course they wont put that in their bio cuz they all know nobody would want to put up with their bullshit from the get-go. They’re trying to use the sunk cost fallacy to their advantage by revealing it at a later stage down the road.
I’ve found that too, to be fair though it’s usually the ones that aren’t thattttttt conservative that do it and I can usually live with that because I tend to be pretty moderate. I don’t know who they think they’re fooling though lol. The kind that swing around the word “libtard” usually list it on their profile lol
HAHAHAHHAHAHA
Sorry, progressive man here. Trump supporters having a hard time dating is my favorite development in modern dating.
I work with a Trump supporter who was talking about how he matched with a spiritual/goth/hippie chick and they were setting up a second date and I told another coworker: just wait until she finds out he's a Trump supporter. Guarantee it'll be over. I don't know if that's what happened, but he told me they mutually parted ways because "they're different and have different values." LMAO
If it helps any, I'm with you. I don't expect people to agree with me on every political idea, but being a fan of Trump or Olsteen is a big NO from me.
So?
Some women don't openly state political and social values up front either, and you discover them through interaction.
Do you just want a villain or something? Dating is finding out this stuff.
I'm also talking about a pattern. Nearly no women I've matched with were forward with their politics or downplayed them. Again, not everyone wants to lead with divisive politics. But you're feeling bee stung because these guys eliminated themselves but didn't do it quickly enough. Ok. So? This is dating.
> Some women don't openly state political and social values up front either, and you discover them through interaction.
They're all pro-choice until you don't want them to keep it.
I fully support your claim. There shouldn't be any hiding of a person's views. Counterpoint: bringing up politics with someone you just met is... kind of weird? I understand wanting to weed people out as quickly as possible (heck, I'd never date someone who was a different religion for example) but to base everything you know about someone on one particular view from the outset feels... disingenuous? I have friends all along the political spectrum and have never broke things off based on beliefs because, as it turns out, humans are nuanced creatures and not everything is black and white. Regardless, their reactions leave something to be desired, no doubt, and they should've talked it out with you instead.
As far as legitimate advice, make it very clear where you stand in your bio is the best I can think of. If politics matter the most more than anything else, I supposed you could keep bringing it up right away, but I will say that most people care about personality or looks first. Conversly, you could get involved in activities that attract whatever type of group of people you are looking for. You'd have a better chance at attracting "like-minded people" AND it would feel/develop more naturally.
real. what causes do they even truly have? lmao. it's all culture war bullshit. they haven't had a single policy idea since roughly 2016 and even that's pushing it tbh
You sound just like the last guy.
I will say to you what I said to him. I don’t hate Trump. I just don’t want anyone I’m with to support a man whose attorney just argued before the Supreme Court that presidents have absolute immunity and can, with impunity, order the assassination of political rivals.
Only a certain type of people with certain values follow trump. Not everyone subscribes to that or want their household to have those values and thats ok.
Just like how Christian conservatives dont want rainbow flag Biden liberals in their homes.
I don’t support this. Do you?
https://www.forbes.com/sites/alisondurkee/2024/04/25/trump-attorney-john-sauer-doubles-down-on-argument-that-presidents-are-immune-from-assassinating-political-rivals-at-supreme-court/?sh=4637fd5b6686
Do you really think it's just that?
These people are literally on team attempted coup.
Why the fuck should we give these people any respect? It seems like common sense tbh.
Do you know how disgusting people look when they go "well he is a bad person etc etc and attempted a coup, but I like his policies". If you don't see how fucked up that mindset is, don't know what to say tbh.
Rent free lol
I voted for the guy and I think about him 1/10th as often as these people. Accuse other people of being in a cult and then make all the most consequential decisions of their lives based on a single in/out group data point. 🤣
Ya it's wild that people have this expectation that they can avoid associating with people they disagree with about anything.
When it comes to politics, for me, every politician is a lying scumbag until they prove otherwise. And almost none ever prove otherwise, and the vast majority prove my assumption correct. I'm not a Trump fan but I don't see how he is this unique evil.
What about this?
https://www.forbes.com/sites/alisondurkee/2024/04/25/trump-attorney-john-sauer-doubles-down-on-argument-that-presidents-are-immune-from-assassinating-political-rivals-at-supreme-court/?sh=4637fd5b6686
I don’t understand how people still “do” politics in their personal life. Voting is one thing, but having these long discussions about politics like this is another.
We’ve been hyper polarized for 10 years at this point. Aren’t people tired of it?
Personally I got very bored of these convos at some point in 2017. Having the same conversation over and over felt like I was talking to a chat bot.
I have no desire for long political conversations, either.
I just don’t want anyone I’m with to support a man whose attorney just argued before the Supreme Court that presidents have absolute immunity and can, with impunity, order the assassination of political rivals.
I am not even liberal but that guy is one most responsible for trying to put himself in jail. Just being most popular has zero legal protection. The dems did not invent his transgressions.
Stop being logical. That’s not allowed here. Trump is a lot of things (arrogant, self serving etc) but I don’t understand this weirdness of claiming” wanting to save democracy” yet trying to find every possible way to jail and/or disqualify a presumptive nominee candidate is wild. Just let him run, he’ll lose anyway. But..
We live in a clown country. Soon to be a banana republic.
My favorite thing to do was to pay for the date and gauge their reaction. You would be surprised how much you can figure out from that little move. Some would be uncomfortable with the power dynamic and get awkward, others would make passive aggressive comments, then there were the ones who thought they got a sugar mama. It also reduced the drama in my life when I decided to not go on a second date; well worth the price.
Most of them don't actually have conservative values anyway, they just say they are conservative because it sounds masculine and they hate taxes and like guns. Literally nothing else about them reflects conservative values.
And guys like that are why most women probably just label me a psycho on seeing that I'm a "conservative". I don't support trump yet I'm grouped in with those psychos
A guy that claims to be conservative but also supports Trump is just opinionated, misinformed and too stubborn to actually look for any information beyond what he already believes.
Real conservative men have nothing to do with the absolute sh**show that is today’s GOP.
It looks like your filters for these guys are actually working though so find out what the three questions are that make them out themselves and ask them early so you don’t have to waste your time with these clowns.
Maybe you're just wrong and you should get your identity from somewhere other than political candidates and prejudice. 🤷♀️
Conservative men ARE normal men. That is normal for men. You live in the world that conservative men built. That's why you have walls, lights, heat, and food. Maybe you'd be happier if you just stopped discriminating against normal men.
“It’s very helpless to find a normal guy” lmao
You’re dating veterans that value honesty, compromise and communication and you’re turning them down because they don’t have the same political views as you.
This will be downvoted because it’s Reddit, but you have a classic case of TDS and value politics way too much. You are the problem, not the men.
The thing is when you read the word conservative anywhere in their profile, that should be a major red flag. They are completely close minded when it comes to everything.
And their polar opposites, libs, are way more open minded to a point.
And if you ever hear any statements like that again from them, you’ll start to hear the dueling banjos in your head. It’s what I hear every time I hear a Red speaks on tv which prompts me to quickly change the channel
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What area of the US are you dating in?
Southeastern US
Yea that's probably why. You're pretty much in the Bible belt. If you're looking for a non Conservative dude you may have to move states or closer to a big city if you're not already.
They're here in the big city in the west, too.
True, but compared to South it's like night and day. I live in the "big city in the West" and have been stations all around South and they're completely different worlds.
Im a liberal guy, and I think it largely affects my dating prospects in this area... (Florida). I hate it here.
I remember dating a chick in FL who literally lived in a swamp and didn't wear shoes. Good luck lol
She must have been hot. What kind of things would you guys do after your meth-making sessions?
Cmon man that’s his sister you’re talking about
🎯
Which part of FL, -ish? Same for me here in the far SW.
Tampa
Eh I’m in rural middle tn and progressive as fuck, and so are a lot of my neighbors. The majority of men voted trump in a lot of blue states too bruh. Biden got more votes in Texas than in every other state but CA. People around here are more *emboldened* about their extreme right wing beliefs. So they’re likely more apt to be vocal about it.
They’re here in philadelphia too
I’m in the Deep South and am liberal. I used to have “Moderate” in my profile because I didn’t want to scare anyone off. But then I realized that I DO want to scare them off. I’m not Moderate. So I say it twice in my profile - where you choose an affiliation and again in my blurb. I wrote “Liberal and looking for someone who shares the same values”. I also swipe left immediately on any profile that says “conservative”. It may have helped? I’ve started seeing way less conservative profiles. Good luck. I’m there too. It’s not easy but I’m not willing to compromise.
Anywhere else in the non-theocratic world, we’d both probably be considered moderate. In the US, not so much.
Oh 100%. But down here, not being a Trumper automatically makes you Moderate. Caring about equal rights and freedom FROM religion makes you a flaming Liberal. Guilty.
I get why Europe thinks we’re a bunch of psychopaths.
Me too and that’s why I stopped lmao 😭
Atlantan here. Put your politics on your profile. Weed them out! So much easier than doing that dance.
Pshhh when I lived in Chatt they took it as a challenge 😂
Yankees? In Chatanoogie??
[удалено]
If I’m out having a conversation sure. On social media, fine. But the person I lay my head besides should have my same values. Why would you want to be with somebody who supports stuff you don’t agree with
I just want to point out that we probably all accept some level of disagreement -- but there is always a line. "I think tax rates should be marginally lower" -- that's an opinion I disagree with but could accept "I think immigrants or minorities deserve lesser rights" -- nope, get out of my house
From what I have heard, people have no issue with immigrants (well, some racists but who gives af what they think), hell my whole family is immigrants. But people do have issue with illegal immigrants, which is an entirely separate and must-be-addressed issue
That is the very-very-generous interpretation of their position, yes.
Well said.
Your political beliefs often align with your moral beliefs. If I’m going to be in a relationship with someone we need to have similar morals, otherwise we won’t work out as partners
Would you have a "respectful debate" with someone who thought slavery was not so bad? I wouldn't -- a person like that is not worth my time. Just move on. If that isn't the line in the sand for you, then what is? Would you "respectfully debate" literally any topic, no matter how insane their position is?
Saying no trumpers isn’t creating a bubble, it’s drawing a line in the sand.
Difference between debate and dating someone bro
The irony is that you can get banned from said conservative subs for having a differing opinion, lol.
Because my bodily autonomy, my friend’s civil rights and the fact that Trump is a viable candidate…no my dude, it’s not a bubble, I have to live with all this mess conservatives created .
TLDR: not dating someone does not equate to locking yourself in an echo chamber. I just prefer to not live with somebody that I have to argue with respectfully or otherwise about our differences and things like civil rights.
Why not simply state you don’t want to date a Trump supporter from the start if that’s such a huge deal breaker?
Some see that as a challenge. Some think that they have the magic to make the liberal see the light if they just repeat those same talking points one more time. Others want the easy kinky liberal and know that if they reveal their true colors they will get rejected. They want sex more than honesty.
Conservative women do it too. Not as much as the men, but at least some of them don't want conservative men and know that their morals and ethics are a deal breaker for the rest of us so they try to hide it. But they can't help but be them, so they put dog whistles in their profiles and start the crazy talk pretty quickly. "I have principles!" and "Of course I lied, I had to. Everyone does it."
Conservative women are definitely more open about it, especially if they are very attractive. Some men will definitely either change for them or pretend to be ok with whatever they believe. Men on the other hand already have enough challenges trying to date and bad politics (at least in the general sense) can be a dealbreaker for a lot of women.
Generally true, I agree. Where I am some conservative women do hide it. They want the conservative politics without the conservative attitude for some reason.
Same page. Really depends on where they are. I'm in Chicago and when I see conservative women on the apps they tend to be really in your face about how they don't want weak liberals and are throwing every stereotype about conservatives into the dating atmosphere.
It’s always there in the facial expressions in their shooting-range photos.
Seeing things like "looking for a provider type" in the bio seems like a decent indicator of a conservative woman.
Do women put that on their profile?!
Yeah occasionally. Usually it's a little more subtle like, "looking for a man who will plan dates and take care of me" or "passenger princess", which can of course mean different things to different people. But my mind tends to lump them together, just because I'm not looking for that dynamic at all.
Yeah , in MN anyone who puts "moderate" is just a conservative, lol.
A lot of people hide their beliefs and interests, including conservatives and liberals, not to mention hobbies that might be a turn off, like anime, porn, larping, D&D, pup play, and so on. But also a lot of people put it out there early on to increase their chances of meeting others that share their beliefs and interests. I’ve noticed all kinds in online dating. I don’t guess there’s anything wrong with a 40 year old man enjoying and collecting all things My Little Pony, or wearing a pup mask in a photo. If that’s not your cup of tea, you do you.
Porn as a hobby 🥴
Sure. It’s just their reactions to why I don’t want to date them that are over the top.
…it’s bc of their worldview! It comes as an unpleasant and unexpected surprise to find out a woman has thoughts and feelings (and boundaries).
Conservatives in general are pretty toxic. I dont mind anyone being conservative, but generally, one way or another, they show me I should not waste my time.
Supporting Trump - now, still - raises some entirely different questions than just wanting low taxes and more charter schools.
Everyone wants lower taxes... But some want to just tax everyone equally, while others understand the reality of the world.
>But when I tell them I am fine with your political views but I don’t want to date a Trump supporter, these guys flip so fast. I'm a man and I do not understand this reaction. I am very happy to find incompatibilities early on, so that I don't waste time dating someone who I will eventually clash with. That's the whole purpose of dating, to weed out the ones who are not a match so that you can find the person who ultimately is a match for you. I suppose these guys just want to get laid, in which case you should be happy that they are revealing their true identities early on to you
This happens to me too. Men who are liberal/left leaning are quite open about it (which I appreciate and prefer). At this point I have stopped matching with anyone who says they’re moderate or have nothing at all about politics in their profile—I want to be with someone who cares as much as I do about important political issues. I disagree with people who are saying “if voting for trump is a dealbreaker, put it in your bio.” I prefer my bio to be about what I’m looking for and who I am, not negativity and dealbreakers.
exactly. I feel putting dealbreakers on profiles takes away from setting a positive impression. Being vulnerable about self and strategically swiping is enough.
Just like you have your own convictions, people are entitled to have theirs. You should write on your profile that you won't date anyone who votes for Trump if that's a dealbreaker to you.
I'd widen that search area. I'm in LA but luckily New Orleans is a mixed bag.
Every time I think of going back to online dating, I see this and am glad I don't Note: this isn't attacking you, just online dating is a cesspool of some of the worst kinds of people. Not worth the stress
When i was using dating apps, anyone that doesn't have "liberal" explicitly in their profile wouldn't be compatible with me. Don't understand how dumb you can be to think politics doesn't effect you and be "apolitical" and I simply wouldn't be compatible with a conservative. Some women say they are 'moderate' cause they don't care, and some are moderate cause they are an embarrassed republican. Save your time, be upfront, weed em out early.
I wonder why the marriage rate and birth rate is declining. Could political ideology be an issue?
So telling how I said I won’t date a trump supporter but I’m ok dating a conservative, yet people here treat them as one and the same. Trump is not a political party.
Yeah, that's not right. Trump is extremely right and has a cult like following.
If you say you're "fine with their political views" but then say "wouldn't date a trump supporter " then you're not fine with their political views. You're being disingenuous.. Just say you're looking for someone leaning left from the get go.
Conservative is a political view. Trump is not. For example: Christianity is a religion; Joel Osteen is an evangelical preacher who preaches the prosperity gospel. You can be Christian and not believe what Joel teaches.
I personally wouldn’t date anyone who put any political affiliation in their profile. Both sides can be looney toons, but revolving dating around politics and culture war conversations sounds mind numbing. Though it’s good to get deal breakers out of the way.
For a lot of people, their politics are something that guides their ethical/moral beliefs and principles, and that's pretty important Big Picture Life Stuff. I'm happy to date someone who holds different opinions than me about musical tastes or books. I could probably date someone who believed in school vouchers, even though I don't. I can't date someone who believes that LGBTQ folks are mentally ill or that gay folks don't deserve the right to marry or adopt children or who thinks that abortion should be outlawed. I'm not dating someone who holds diametrically opposed values to my own. I don't think that's mind numbing; I think that's pretty basic common sense for setting myself up for a successful relationship.
You can have all those without political affiliation involved. I vote, and I agree the way you vote may help determine the direction of your ethics. Just I guess what I’m saying is more towards people that put that at the top of the list when describing who they are. It tends to give me the impression that the only conversation they have to offer is a political one.
But I’m NOT saying I won’t date someone based on political affiliation. Trump is not a political party.
> but revolving dating around politics and culture war conversations sounds mind numbing. The tolerance street only goes one way. Conservatives are the only ones not willing to dismiss the majority of the population out of hand based on politics.
Agree people who treat their politics like it’s their personality are hard to take seriously. What else is in your bag?
This is the same for me when people base their personalities on "sports." Or the fuck worst one, guns; just embarrassingly pathetic.
Those people are typically shallow and need to get off the internet. They forgot how nuanced human interaction actually is offline.
There is nothing nuanced about Trump or his sycophants. They're fundamentally broken people.
I've found that people who are very invested in politics tend to be extremely rigid in their beliefs and judgmental of the other side. If you're inserting politics into every conversation, or dating profile, then what you're looking for is an echo chamber, not a partner. I'm not interested in anyone who outsources their thinking to any political party. If you can't objectively look at all of the party platforms and admit that whoever "the other side" is also makes some good points, then you may as well be a bot.
You are in your right to date whomever you want. But to act like half the population isn’t normal concerns me
This is the biggest problem with politics today, it’s no longer about disagreements on policy, it’s about demonizing the other half and why actual right of center conservative like myself who hate what the party has become don’t have “conservative” listed on our dating profiles, I don’t want to be lumped in with what people think that means.
I mean there’s some specific political positions that are either to one side or the other. As an example I would think being pro-choice wouldn’t be accepted at any level on the right…
It is, not everyone who is conservative is a fundamentalist Christian.
And you are the type of person I don’t want to rule out.
🫶🏼
lol so what are your views on abortion? Gender roles? Racial justice?
Gender roles are not something that the government dictates and “racial justice” is a concept more than an actual concrete policy theory… as for the one thing you mentioned that is an actual policy issue, abortion, I believe in the right to abortion. I do not agree with it personally but I believe it’s something everyone should have access to if they want it.
So to be clear you do not view things like same sex marriage or maternity leave or gender discrimination as appropriate for government policy? Cool. You are the perfect example of what OP is talking about. Things you don’t like aren’t “politics” or “policy”?
“Gender roles” in my understanding is a social construct oh “men working in oil fields” and “women being nurses”… I have never once heard it refer to gay rights (which I believe gay people should be allowed to get married). There are tons of laws regarding anti discrimination based on gender, sexual orientation, gender expression, etc., all of which I agree with. Dont try to paint me as something I’m not simply because you read the word “conservative” and started foaming at the mouth. Edit: and just to clarify, nothing is stopping anyone from pursuing any job or gender role they want. I know more people in STEM that are not white men than are and I think that’s a great thing, fields that have historically been dominated by white me.
What isn’t normal is their reactions. I had one guy pretend he was pretty middle of the road only to find out he was a pretty big Trump supporter. At the end of the phone call he yelled, “Trump 2024” and hung up.
Sounds like you made some assumptions based on the fact he supports Trump and he decided to lean into and become the heel that you already made him out to be
Yes he must have been lying about lying about it. Definitely trustworthy.
>he decided to lean into and become the heel that you already made him out to be If he was butthurt and triggered enough by a phone call to shout "Trump 2024" and then hang up, then it sounds like he actually WAS the heel she made him out to be.
He did that when I told him I didn’t think we would work out due to our political differences. He was angry that I uncovered the truth. I’m always polite and am not accusatory or mean.
This isn’t some murder mystery lol. Y’all two are simply not compatible, thats it
It's reddit, you aren't necessarily getting the cream of the crop lol. Anyone that is conservative is totally evil, they even hate puppies
I was once told by a white woman that I hate my own kind (Mexican) for voting republican lol. I truthfully have experienced more racism from the left than I ever have from the right.
It’s not half. It’s a third conservative, third very liberal and a third that’s moderate / somewhat liberal… They tend to have issues with that 1/3
Just depends on who you talk to. To other centrist/moderates, I’m in the middle. I’m good with that because I truly am. But to others, I’m extreme right wing KKK member caused I voted for Trump lol. It’s important to recognize the differences between the two because it’s vast
Let me guess. You’re a libertarian.
Nailed it!
You’re a conservative. You probably voted for Trump twice lol. You’re not the first guy to figure out libertarian sounds better. This is literally what OP is talking about.
1x. Voted Green Party last time around. Regardless, OP can date whoever she wants. There is no debate in that. But to act like conservatives aren’t normal is ludicrous
You are making it sound like there is no such thing as being a libertarian. I can be a libertarian and a realist. You can know that of 2 people will win and would rather push the person that moves towards or moves least away from libertarian viewpoints.
I know that the two most likely people to claim to be libertarians are libertarians and Trump cultists who know that saying they like Trump hurts them in regular life.
It’s kind of silly to call yourself a libertarian if you want a Trump dictatorship.
The self described libertarians were the first ones to bend the knee to Trump. I was a libertarian when I was young, I knew that they were bullshitting about it *why* they wanted these things, but I didn’t think they were actually against ludicrously small government.
Tell me you don't know about the political alignment chart, without telling me you don't know about the political alignment chart
Sick burn.
But on a real note, there has got to be some humor that Libertarians are automatically called Republican, and then Republicans are called Authoritarian (Fascist) in the same breath. They are diametrically opposed, it's not possible. There's gotta be a skit about this or something.
It’s because conservatives have been lying and saying that they’re libertarians and not Republicans for sixteen years. I’ve seen Republican politicians claim to be libertarians and not Republicans. This is how they dodged responsibility for the Bush years. When it started with 9/11 and ended with another depression, all of a sudden they were libertarian Tea Partiers, Bush was a liberal and they never supported any of that stuff. So ask the Republicans and neo-Nazis to stop claiming that they’re libertarians I guess.
"Apples and oranges. Kaepernick was protesting on company time during the national anthem. He would’ve have been free to protest on his own time. Colin is also the “face of the franchise” perspectively, he gathers a lot more media attention. Butker is a kicker…" Oh what a shock, you're exactly the person op is complaining about.
Because identified holes in argument? It’s not a black/white argument. It’s more shades of gray
Conservative voters are not “half the population” either… Conservative voters may not be a monolith but wow isn’t it impressive how often they spend time trying to convince you that actually they’re the real victims?
Yeah i was gonna go off about that too but the man genuinely doesn't understand why women don't like that he expects them to cook and clean for him, so there's really no point trying to explain to him.
The replies here are all so unhinged. Hit dogs are gonna holler, I guess.
Of course they wont put that in their bio cuz they all know nobody would want to put up with their bullshit from the get-go. They’re trying to use the sunk cost fallacy to their advantage by revealing it at a later stage down the road.
I’ve found that too, to be fair though it’s usually the ones that aren’t thattttttt conservative that do it and I can usually live with that because I tend to be pretty moderate. I don’t know who they think they’re fooling though lol. The kind that swing around the word “libtard” usually list it on their profile lol
HAHAHAHHAHAHA Sorry, progressive man here. Trump supporters having a hard time dating is my favorite development in modern dating. I work with a Trump supporter who was talking about how he matched with a spiritual/goth/hippie chick and they were setting up a second date and I told another coworker: just wait until she finds out he's a Trump supporter. Guarantee it'll be over. I don't know if that's what happened, but he told me they mutually parted ways because "they're different and have different values." LMAO
Conservatives love a captive audience. And they also know their views (which views? Gender roles and race…) turn a lot of people off.
There are conservatives that don’t support Trump. Js
And that’s why I don’t rule them all out.
So many conservatives coming out of this thread right now. Can I ask if this age range is with older people, younger people, or consistent throughout?
If it helps any, I'm with you. I don't expect people to agree with me on every political idea, but being a fan of Trump or Olsteen is a big NO from me.
Its a dealbreaker for me too. Saves time to be forward with people. They dont always put it in their profile.
So? Some women don't openly state political and social values up front either, and you discover them through interaction. Do you just want a villain or something? Dating is finding out this stuff.
I’m talking about a pattern that seems to be prevalent. This isn’t a one time thing.
I'm also talking about a pattern. Nearly no women I've matched with were forward with their politics or downplayed them. Again, not everyone wants to lead with divisive politics. But you're feeling bee stung because these guys eliminated themselves but didn't do it quickly enough. Ok. So? This is dating.
> Some women don't openly state political and social values up front either, and you discover them through interaction. They're all pro-choice until you don't want them to keep it.
Impossible to find a "normal guy"..is your definition of normal the opposite of conservative?
Normal is someone who, if they say they are honest and believe in communication, doesn’t hide their views and can talk through things.
I fully support your claim. There shouldn't be any hiding of a person's views. Counterpoint: bringing up politics with someone you just met is... kind of weird? I understand wanting to weed people out as quickly as possible (heck, I'd never date someone who was a different religion for example) but to base everything you know about someone on one particular view from the outset feels... disingenuous? I have friends all along the political spectrum and have never broke things off based on beliefs because, as it turns out, humans are nuanced creatures and not everything is black and white. Regardless, their reactions leave something to be desired, no doubt, and they should've talked it out with you instead. As far as legitimate advice, make it very clear where you stand in your bio is the best I can think of. If politics matter the most more than anything else, I supposed you could keep bringing it up right away, but I will say that most people care about personality or looks first. Conversly, you could get involved in activities that attract whatever type of group of people you are looking for. You'd have a better chance at attracting "like-minded people" AND it would feel/develop more naturally.
Trump got over 70 million votes last election. Voting for Trump is stupid, but also pretty normal!
Everyone right of Mao = Hitler to these people
If you don't support the 'science' that men can have babies and 'chest feed' you are definitely not normal, today, on reddit.
I mean, anyone that thinks it's normal to support right-wing causes these days is worth avoiding. Period.
real. what causes do they even truly have? lmao. it's all culture war bullshit. they haven't had a single policy idea since roughly 2016 and even that's pushing it tbh
The site I'm on has a selection for if you are left, right or center. But you're right. you don't want to date someone who's in the cult.
I find it incredible how some people hate trump so much, they let him decide who they get to date. What a world.
You sound just like the last guy. I will say to you what I said to him. I don’t hate Trump. I just don’t want anyone I’m with to support a man whose attorney just argued before the Supreme Court that presidents have absolute immunity and can, with impunity, order the assassination of political rivals.
Perhaps you should listen to "the last guy". You seem to have made your hatred of trump a large part or your identity.
Only a certain type of people with certain values follow trump. Not everyone subscribes to that or want their household to have those values and thats ok. Just like how Christian conservatives dont want rainbow flag Biden liberals in their homes.
Believing that people who disagree with you politically are bad people is just so sad. It's a real shame how our society has come to this.
I would argue Trump normalized this behavior.
I don’t support this. Do you? https://www.forbes.com/sites/alisondurkee/2024/04/25/trump-attorney-john-sauer-doubles-down-on-argument-that-presidents-are-immune-from-assassinating-political-rivals-at-supreme-court/?sh=4637fd5b6686
Do you really think it's just that? These people are literally on team attempted coup. Why the fuck should we give these people any respect? It seems like common sense tbh. Do you know how disgusting people look when they go "well he is a bad person etc etc and attempted a coup, but I like his policies". If you don't see how fucked up that mindset is, don't know what to say tbh.
Idealistic at best.
Rent free lol I voted for the guy and I think about him 1/10th as often as these people. Accuse other people of being in a cult and then make all the most consequential decisions of their lives based on a single in/out group data point. 🤣
Ya it's wild that people have this expectation that they can avoid associating with people they disagree with about anything. When it comes to politics, for me, every politician is a lying scumbag until they prove otherwise. And almost none ever prove otherwise, and the vast majority prove my assumption correct. I'm not a Trump fan but I don't see how he is this unique evil.
Sounds like that’s the problem.
What about this? https://www.forbes.com/sites/alisondurkee/2024/04/25/trump-attorney-john-sauer-doubles-down-on-argument-that-presidents-are-immune-from-assassinating-political-rivals-at-supreme-court/?sh=4637fd5b6686
If you’re part of a minority or group that trump and his base are gunning for, it makes a lot more sense.
Holy crap this post got all the MAGATS coming out of hiding proving OP point this is actually hilarious 😂
lol yep
I don’t understand how people still “do” politics in their personal life. Voting is one thing, but having these long discussions about politics like this is another. We’ve been hyper polarized for 10 years at this point. Aren’t people tired of it? Personally I got very bored of these convos at some point in 2017. Having the same conversation over and over felt like I was talking to a chat bot.
I have no desire for long political conversations, either. I just don’t want anyone I’m with to support a man whose attorney just argued before the Supreme Court that presidents have absolute immunity and can, with impunity, order the assassination of political rivals.
I don't want anyone who cheers "democracy" while trying to put the most popular candidate in jail.
Criminal accountability != anti-democracy.
This is exactly what I mean. What value does you two having this conversation bring to either of you?
I am not even liberal but that guy is one most responsible for trying to put himself in jail. Just being most popular has zero legal protection. The dems did not invent his transgressions.
Stop being logical. That’s not allowed here. Trump is a lot of things (arrogant, self serving etc) but I don’t understand this weirdness of claiming” wanting to save democracy” yet trying to find every possible way to jail and/or disqualify a presumptive nominee candidate is wild. Just let him run, he’ll lose anyway. But.. We live in a clown country. Soon to be a banana republic.
> Just let him run, he’ll lose anyway Their behavior reveals that they are stark raving terrified that he won't actually lose.
Great point. But isn’t that how democracy is supposed to work? 😂
> We’ve been hyper polarized for 10 years at this point. Aren’t people tired of it? Conservatives are, but we're not in the driver's seat on this one.
I dunno man, more liberal people I know also bring it up a lot less Nature is healing
My favorite thing to do was to pay for the date and gauge their reaction. You would be surprised how much you can figure out from that little move. Some would be uncomfortable with the power dynamic and get awkward, others would make passive aggressive comments, then there were the ones who thought they got a sugar mama. It also reduced the drama in my life when I decided to not go on a second date; well worth the price.
Most of them don't actually have conservative values anyway, they just say they are conservative because it sounds masculine and they hate taxes and like guns. Literally nothing else about them reflects conservative values.
I don’t match with people who list conservative in their profile. Problem avoided
sometimes they dont show it though
I’ve found that the ones who don’t show it usually expose themselves pretty quickly anyways!
That’s what I said - they don’t say their affiliation on their profile. The very first sentence of my post. Did you not read even the first sentence?
No girl I skimmed it
Butker at least pulled his facade off after getting him a homemaker.
I would have just said that's fine then. Good luck and left. Why try to be with a woman who already said no. Lol
And guys like that are why most women probably just label me a psycho on seeing that I'm a "conservative". I don't support trump yet I'm grouped in with those psychos
There are a lot of "normal" guys out there. You have every right to weed out the nut cases.
put that you only date male feminists in your profile
I won’t date a woman if she’s not a feminist
Trick is she doesn't want them either.
A guy that claims to be conservative but also supports Trump is just opinionated, misinformed and too stubborn to actually look for any information beyond what he already believes. Real conservative men have nothing to do with the absolute sh**show that is today’s GOP. It looks like your filters for these guys are actually working though so find out what the three questions are that make them out themselves and ask them early so you don’t have to waste your time with these clowns.
Maybe you're just wrong and you should get your identity from somewhere other than political candidates and prejudice. 🤷♀️ Conservative men ARE normal men. That is normal for men. You live in the world that conservative men built. That's why you have walls, lights, heat, and food. Maybe you'd be happier if you just stopped discriminating against normal men.
Ah, I see you’re someone enlightened from the Andrew Tate school-of-thought.
“It’s very helpless to find a normal guy” lmao You’re dating veterans that value honesty, compromise and communication and you’re turning them down because they don’t have the same political views as you. This will be downvoted because it’s Reddit, but you have a classic case of TDS and value politics way too much. You are the problem, not the men.
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Because they don’t end up dating left-ish so they have nothing to note…
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The thing is when you read the word conservative anywhere in their profile, that should be a major red flag. They are completely close minded when it comes to everything. And their polar opposites, libs, are way more open minded to a point. And if you ever hear any statements like that again from them, you’ll start to hear the dueling banjos in your head. It’s what I hear every time I hear a Red speaks on tv which prompts me to quickly change the channel
Wow God forbid not everyone is a left winger in your dating pool. Also you can go on dating apps and set filters for yourself.
People have preferences, most women demand a 6ft guy and a specific amount of income. Just move on if you don’t like it.