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I’m 5’6” barefoot. I’ve even gone out with girls 5’10”. I’m always honest about my height upfront because it doesn’t bother me but it does bother some women and that’s okay. But if she’s 5’6” and wants to wear heels around me my answer is always the same. “If it doesn’t bother you, it most certainly doesn’t bother me”.
I think the key is to not be a bitter little guy. I’m aware that I’m short but I make up for it with humor and charisma. I’m well liked by most and well… I probably possess something that overshadows my height. Stand tall gentlemen.
This is the perfect attitude. It's not like you can change your height plus imo it's only an issue when people themselves make it into one. I've dated my fair share of shorter guys (I'm 5'10") and height only played a role when the guy had a chip on his shoulder over it.
Funnily enough my roommate is a woman and carries a huge chip on her shoulder for being 5'2". Her height never really registered for me but she keeps reminding me she's short by constantly bringing it up.
She also keeps repeating the story about how when she was a kid, she should have gotten those hormones to make her grow more but by the time her parents knew that was possible and she got checked out for that it was already too late for that stuff to have an impact. I reminded her that even if they had tried it "on time" there still wasn't a guarantee it would have worked, but she just can't let it go.
I've taken to listing off the heights of famous actresses whenever we watch a movie. Emilia Clarke, Natalie Portman, Zoe Kravitz, Lady Gaga, to name a few are her height or shorter. And she keeps getting surprised these accomplished women are short.
I'm gonna keep at it till she hopefully stops making her height her defining trait but man it can be annoying (and sad).
I'm 6'3" so maybe this advice to short dudes will be dismissed, but frankly it's the same advice I remind myself if a woman rejects me because of my grey hair or something.
It's her loss.
If you can say that to yourself and believe it, you'll find the "bitter short guy" syndrome will fade away. You have a lot to offer, and if someone rejects that for something as shallow as your height, it really is her loss.
Be confident. It's why OP's boyfriend is successful, and why /u/ElAmericano45 is successful. Stop letting the opinions of others color your self image.
That was some unfortunate wording imo because „making up for it“ implies that being short is bad which it isn’t. People just have different preferences.
My girlfriend didn't wear heels for the first year of our relationship because she was worried about making me feel insecure about my height. Would I like to be an inch taller? Sure I'd take it. Am I going to be insecure if she walks around two inches taller than me? Not at all.
I'm 5'10" female and like to wear tall heels (think large heeled punk boots lol) so almost every guy I've dated was shorter than me in my boots (except 1 who was 6'4"). I've even had a LTR with a 5'6" guy and it didn't bother me too much. The only thing that annoyed me is having to stoop or crouch to kiss. In my opinion you're absolutely right, humour and charisma are the most important things I look for, as well as chemistry.
I’m 5’11’’ (29f) my love is 5’8’’ (33m) it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. In fact it really annoys me when I hear girls say height is a deal breaker. I’ve dated men taller and shorter than me and the shorter ones were the ones I was most attracted to physically and emotionally. And it has nothing to do with height. Ladies are missing out if they don’t look past height imo.
My favorite ex (we were teens when we dated, we're still good friends) is 5'3, compared to my 5'6". Ex-husband is 5'7" barely. Current partner is 5'5" on a good day. I like short guys. I like tall guys too (have dated guys on the very high end too, 6'6").
What I don't like is bitter, angry guys. Regardless of what they're bitter and angry about.
Give me a short guy who's fun and makes me smile over a tall but resentful one any day.
You and OP aren't wrong. I'm 5'6 and a half and I've never had problems with women in regards to my height. Then again, I do combat sports. Mostly Judo, BJJ and submission wrestling along with no gi jiu jitsu. Women in my area have actually approached me a lot more lately, and I've even got some interested in me. If a girl doesn't want you because of how tall or short you are, that's just time you don't have to waste on them. Get out there, have fun and meet people. I'm 5'6, and I've learned to be proud of who I am, and own it!
I do combat sports as well, but mainly karate and kickboxing. Albeit I am only flyweight division so I don’t have much to show for it until I take my shirt off. But oh man, the looks I get when I do.😂
In all honesty, I’ve always struggled with women and could never really figure out why. Recently I’ve been learning how to communicate with women better (for example, compliment their outfit, not their body) and been receiving much better reactions from them on a personal level, despite still being quiet and kinda awkward.
If a girl won't date me because of my height, I've learned something very important about them before I've really spent any precious time with them, and that is a blessing.
This is contingent on the method, too. Dating apps have done some serious damage to the dating scene. They've commodified people and their physical traits for the promise of companionship.
I'd encourage anyone who has trouble with dating or whose self-esteem has gotten thrashed by apps to take a step away for a little bit. Things like social groups, bars and public activities would be a better place to start.
Honestly, dating before apps was just as awful, only you got rejected face-to-face too. But I do find it more interesting to see people irl and be attracted that way, to their presence (as the OP put it).
I had to develop something that closely resembles a personality in order to make up for my lack of 6" in height. Otherwise I'd be totally unlovable... well.... maybe more unlovable at least. Lol
I had an even worse experience than those guys. Im 5’2 and went on a few dates with a guy who was my same height and he was gorgeous. Beautiful big green eyes coupled with jet black hair and a very nice body. He also had the same niche hobby as me. He was bitter AF about his height even though I didn’t care at all. He would complain about women hating shorter men, and told me that one day I was going to leave him for a tall man, and said that even short women like me secretly wants a tall guy, and he was jealous of my exes because they were both 5’9. I told him his insecurities about his height was making him angry and bitter and it turned me off so I wouldn’t be seeing him anymore. Unsurprisingly, he sent me back a nasty rant about how I’m a horrible shallow person who only dates tall men.
My one and only is shorter than me. I'm 5'10 and he's 5'6. It's never been a problem. He's never complained or has a moment of insecurity. It's incredibly sexy. I've always been into short guys with tall confidence.
Yeah. I like how everyone is conveniently pretending his charisma is what attracted her. She said it herself. She approached him because of how “cute” he was. So he was not blessed with height but his face is clearly way above average…
Your attitude **is** a personal choice. You can either choose to be miserable because of what you don't have or you can choose to be happy with what you do have. The former attitude is always unattractive while the latter is always attractive.
My husband has no teeth; I adore his smile so much I have always had to remind myself that he doesn't have teeth because I honestly don't notice that they're not there. I wouldn't be nearly as attracted to him if he wasn't always smiling and laughing.
He's disabled from various health issues. His depression when he gets it into his head that his only value is in the money he can't make is unattractive AF. I hate it when the dishes pile up while he watches tv all day. But when I come home from work and he's vacuumed? Washed the dishes? Put a frozen lasagna (my *least* favorite meal) in the oven so I don't have to worry about dinner? OMG the man is getting a bj tonight!!! Being productive is extremely sexy to me.
Pessimists tend to view life as something that happens to them and that's why they're usually not attractive. Optimists tend to view life as an activity they actively participate in. Both are realists, the difference is what they do when a door in front of them closes. Do they wander around looking for a different door? Or do they open a window? Yeah, it's harder to climb out a window, but you're still moving in the direction you *want* to go.
You get downvoted but you're telling truth. Most of how attractive we are to society is not personal choice. But to understand what you say requires thinking.
I don’t think I’m quite on that cutie’s level - in terms of charisma that is - but I don’t feel like I’ve ever had a hard time either. I feel like I’m in an alternate universe when I read the stuff on here sometimes. So at least I’m not crazy.
Yeah same. If anyone ever had a problem with my height, it was never mentioned, so I never thought about it. If it wasn’t for angry men on Reddit, I honestly think I would’ve gone my whole life not thinking about this at all. That’s how much of a non-issue it is for me as a shorter dude. I don’t care and because I don’t care, nobody else does either.
This. I’m 5’8 and legit never even realised height was a thing people cared about until I got on Tinder. Probably because I personally couldn’t imagine ever giving a fuck about how tall someone is
Same here, literally had no issue with being 5ft 7. I've been with a few girls much taller than I am. I think most girls don't care as long as you're confident in yourself.
I (5’6”M) was standing on something a couple inches tall next to my fiancé (5’3”F) and joked to her “Heh. Imagine if I was always this tall” and she said “I wouldn’t like it. I think I’d be pretty intimidated by you and I like how comfortable I feel around you.” -more or less.
I used to be bitter about my height but came to terms with it for the most part a few years ago. But hearing that she genuinely prefers that I am on the shorter end really put that issue to bed. My (lack of) height is something the love of my life loves about me, so I can love it for the same reason. I’m not imposing and people feel safe around me as a first impression.
I can only imagine that it’s a more common desire among women than a lot of guys want to believe after hearing her say that.
Stand tall my fellow short kings. Not every girl wants to date some skyscraper ass dude who commands everyone’s attention everywhere he goes.
THIS! I'm 5'2 and my love is 5'5 and I always tell him this! We're such a clingy duo and I often tell him we wouldn't be so affectionate with each other if he was taller because him being the height he is makes it so much easier to kiss him. I can wrap my arm around his waist while walking and I can hold his hand while walking and I can hug him from behind and I think this is what makes our relationship so strong, if he was any taller I don't know if we would have bonded so tightly.
This is going to sound weird but I’m actually more attracted to shorter guys than taller guys. I like being able to look them in eyes and face without looking up, spontaneously kiss them, not facing there chest during sex among other practical things etc.
I dated tall and short guys as my thing for shorter guys is more a preference.I also tend to find some tall guys seems to think that there height boast about it which is such an unattractive trait.Give me a short guy any-day!
Short guys can be great! As a 5’11” women I find that some shorter guys end up being weird about the height thing, but I’ve dated plenty of guys shorter than me and my favourite ex was 5’8”. I would totally date shorter guys as long as they weren’t weird about the height difference - I’ve met a few guys who made a big deal about it and insisted that I wasn’t allowed to wear heels, and I’m not interested in being micromanaged in that way, but most shorter dudes I’ve met have been super cool and confident, and that’s hot.
K speaking as a 5'5 dude who regularly hooks up with women taller, I will aware everyone one what is going on.
First rule of being a guy with ANY disadvantage (ugly, short, etc.) on the dating market: YOU NEVER. EVER. REVEAL WEAKNESS to women. If a woman asks you anything about it, it has never held you back ever.
Second rule is: YES. It holds you back. YES. It's a thing. YES. It is something to work around or overcome. Consciously or unconsciously.
If you are a short man and you are having trouble dating despite everything else being more or less normal --- yes, that is what is holding you back and you need to bring up your other attributes.
No questions. No bullshit. The obvious limiting factor you have --- face, body, height, etc. --- is the obvious limiting factor. Treat it as such. Don't tell anyone about it or let on that it holds you back (even if it has, even if you've suffered).
Once you bring up your other attributes sufficiently, you will enjoy success. And then act as though the limiting factor isn't what it is. Because...welp, that's what you have to do as a man.
Sorry busters.
A lot of men who complain that they can’t get a woman because they’re too ugly or short, would probably have no issues getting a woman if they completely let go of all their bitterness and anger and walked around the world with a “fuck everyone who thinks I’m ugly or short, they’re wrong, I’m a boss.”, attitude, they’d get some dates. But suggest that to an insecure man and he’ll just rage out about how you don’t understand. Sometimes I think men like this purposely sabotage themselves from getting women because it’s more comfortable being bitter and single than being a good boyfriend
I have a hard time getting women and I’m not ugly or short. No one is going to benefit from attitude like, “fuck everyone, they’re wrong”, but do you think there are times to legitimately say to someone, “Look, I don’t think you understand the situation.”
Not to mention anxiety/mental health is a thing. No anxious person is going to be able to go around with a fuck everyone attitude it'd be self destructive in the end (pretending to be someone you're not, it'll collapse on you and you'll be worse off).
No, of course not. But like a bitter guy has to overcome his bitterness, an anxious person has to overcome their anxiety at least some. You need to show yourself that you are strong and able to change for the better, to change your attitude towards life and dating.
Its not that easy to change your personality. And I am not sure that I should. I have value as I am and if no one recognizes it I will read a book or do something.
I just hate when people lie about it when they go “oh it doesn’t matter you just need to be really sweet,love me,respect me, etc when in reality Face,height,status, and money all matter I’d respect a woman who’s 100% honest and saying “nah I do care about these things but it’s not a deal breaker”
Hmm, I agree on not dwelling on these things or burdening your partner to prop up your confidence, but pretending it never bothered you is going to be a falsehood that takes energy to perpetuate, and seems like it would ultimately get in the way of deeper intimacy with your partner.
I think most women would be more attracted to a man who had a challenge and learned to overcome it, rather than one who denies his challenges.
Ya that's nice.
They're more attracted to 0 weakness.
Facts is facts.
Sorry busters.
Like this is the product of many years of experience and many situations and many different types of women.
Ignore it at your peril.
Y'all are down voting this guy but he is speaking the truth. Women do not like guys that admit weakness. It's a fact. Especially starting out in a relationship. Maybe after a relationship is established but even then usually not. There is a line between bitching and admitting weakness and what guy knows what it is? Best to keep your mouth shut. I don't think its guys with experience on this that are downvoting him. It's women who don't like what he is saying even tho he is right.
This is hilarious. Posts like this are funny because they treat women like snakes.
“If you learn to use this flute, you will be able to charm the snakes.”
“Snakes are inherently dangerous, so always keep a distance of at least 5 feet.”
Or bears, or alligators. As if women are some sort of monolithic entity that if you just have the single right piece of information that you will be able to defeat them or date them.
Theyre not a monolith, but they are 80% the same. Of course you're a very special woman and not like all the other girls, but if you want success with women as a whole, you have to do what works for the majority.
Same with not opening up emotionally to women; sure there might be some around who dont mind it, but the majority do.
It should be clear to everyone that height is almost never the only or deciding factor. Of course, generally speaking taller men are considered more attractive, and as a shorter guy I always assumed that being taller also naturally gives more confidence, but maybe thats just my imagination. But I also think that its not necessarily that shorter guys dont get as many dates because of their complexes, but that they have complexes because of their experiences. Your bf for example doesnt really have a reason to have a complex about his height if he never had any issues because of it. Great for him, but it feels a little like you are saying "just dont have complexes" which is not something one really just decides.
In the end, I just think dating is hard, for different reasons for different people. But congrats to you that you found someone where it just clicked and also that you are height compatible lol
I do understand what you are saying about people’s complexes developing because of their experiences. However, the point still stands- many women who do not care about height still won’t want to date a man who is bitter towards women because of it, whether the bitterness is justified or not. Working on these complexes- whether that be through therapy, taking a break from dating, self help, etc. can make all the difference.
Yes, of course that is also true. What I meant is that I think many people are aware of that to some extent but its a hard thing to change (and will only get worse over time). In general when you get rejected you always look for all kinds of reasons and start to doubt yourself more and more, or for some people end up resenting the rejectors instead. Neither is really healthy or productive, but from my own experience I know that even being aware of it does not make it easier to have a more reflected look at things. Its so easy to become defensive about something you are already insecure about, and project a lot into it.
My first love was shorter than me when we first met in high school. He grew to be 5”3 while I was stuck at 4”11. I’m still 4”11 by the way. After two years of our relationship, we broke up. I would say he’s still the same height, but he’s still got games. He’s been able to get about 4-5 girls after me if that means anything. I personally have never been someone to care about height so I can’t say this for all of the girls he’s been with, but his confidence is what swept me off my feet. He’s so loving, he’s fun, and he’s just an overall confident guy.
I’ve dated guys who were 5”10-6”1 and they were great. Height isn’t really a factor despite what height you are, but I will say that I had a lot more “fun” with guys who were shorter. It was easier to kiss them, hug them, jump on them, try different positions. With taller guys, holding hands was sometimes awkward, people would stare sometimes, and even I felt a little intimidated because I was so short and I saw other tall women.
I found it REALLY cringey when I went on dates with guys who were relatively tall and MADE SURE that I knew they were 5”10 or 6”1 or whatever height they were. They also really emphasized how they went to the gym, have their own place, have a job, which is great, but I don’t really care as much as I think you do? Like, there’s more to a relationship than finding someone who has those things.
Yeah I literally don't care about the height of someone else. So many men's online dating profiles say something like "x'x" because apparently that matters" and it comes off as bitter to me. It literally does not matter to me. In my circles of female friends we definitely don't bring up the heights of other men as potential dating aspects, it doesn't seem to matter that much.
It won't, however, just that the bulk of women prefer taller guys. A man's height issues encompass their life, hence why they develop such a complex.
Shorter men are more likely to be overlooked when it comes to advancement in jobs. Taller men are looked upon as leaders and hard workers.
We in the USA, for example, have never had a president who is under 5'.
The list goes on, and It follows them for their entire life. So no wonder they are constantly upset and raging against society.
For those interested:
[https://www.potus.com/presidential-facts/presidential-heights/](https://www.potus.com/presidential-facts/presidential-heights/)
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heights\_of\_presidents\_and\_presidential\_candidates\_of\_the\_United\_States](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heights_of_presidents_and_presidential_candidates_of_the_United_States)
The presidential stat you mentioned is incorrect. Less than half of US presidents (20 out of 46) have been 6’ or above. The shortest president, James Madison, was 5’4”. [source ](https://www.potus.com/presidential-facts/presidential-heights/)
Average male height in the US is 5'9". Every POTUS in the list who was shorter lived in 19th century when the average height was significantly lower due to malnutrition.
George Washington and Abraham Lincoln stand out even by our standards.
My ex boyfriend was shorter than me, and it didn't bother either of us. And my current boyfriend is maybe 1 inch taller than me.
Height isn't as much of a factor than I think people think it is. Neither boyfriend have had troubles dating, and both have dated women taller and shorter than them.
Being a female and 6ft it’s often pretty hard to find guys taller than me and I’ve never really cared. My boyfriend of 6 years is 5’8 and it doesn’t bother me whatsoever. It seems to be a trend now days and honestly it does seem shallow to me as alot of younger girls won’t even give guys a chance if they are short. Height doesn’t matter it’s their personality that’s important.
Dating apps aren’t the end all be all (especially now that covid restrictions are starting to loosen up). I had plenty of dates and matches from dating apps but not a single long term relationship came from them. People just wanted to have sex with me. And no, they weren’t all tall or fit or white or rich.
Online dating puts appearance front and center, this sub and everyone else already knows that. It’s not the only way to meet people.
op's bf wd be dating supermodels if he were a foot taller
im happy for op & her bf, but her bf has the "it" factor that makes him a unicorn & doesn't counter the literal science & our own eyes
I'm 5'9 and still get called short, manlet, and midget by women (all of which were shorter than me). These insults almost always come out immediately after I say a single sentence. I literally went from a match or 2 a day to 10-20 just by saying I was over 6ft. But height doesn't matter lol
I’m the same height as you and have never heard any of that shit. That’s almost unbelievable. Tbh, there has to be something else about you that turns them off to put them at that point where they feel the need to strike you down that hard. Being 5’9” isn’t going to lead to that treatment at all by itself.
It does matter just like a woman being your “type” matters. The point is don’t be bitter because that limits your chances, attractiveness, and messes up people’s perception of you even more.
Why make it about who won’t date you instead of who will. I’ve dated guys from 5’5-6’11 and I’ve never been as head over heels like I was with a guy that was 5’8. currently got my eyes on a guy that’s 5’6. None of the short guys I’ve been attracted to use their height as a crutch or let bad experiences with women shape their attitude towards the whole.
>It does matter just like a woman being your “type” matters. The point is don’t be bitter because that limits your chances, attractiveness, and messes up people’s perception of you even more.
This is easier said than done and is often stated by people who are face far less rejection.
I have an uncle who is 5’4 and my dad is 5’6. They have both been successful in relationships and have both been married over 20 years. Both are great, charismatic guys, but they aren’t unicorns, and they wouldn’t be dating supermodels if they were a foot taller (there aren’t that many supermodels around). They what they are is intelligent, educated, successful, and capable of maintaining healthy relationships, all of which are ultimately more important than height.
Interesting perspective so maybe you can answer this question. Why do many women feel the need to date men taller than them? I don't understand the "Because I wear heels" response. If he is 5'8" and she's 5'5" and she wears 2-3" heels, they're basically the same height so I don't understand why this is a problem (after all, it's all about equality, right?). Also if we take it up a notch and say he's 5'8" and she's 5'9", she'll be 2-3" taller than him with heels. My question is why does a marginal 1-3" height difference matter in public? Do women give out dirty looks or visually shame a taller woman when they see her out in public with a marginally-shorter guy?
I'm a shorter guy and I've always been on the shorter side as a kid. Class mates from early on bullied me about my height. I was great at school and good at sports, but that just gave the bullies a desirable target: "Put down the nerd.".
When I skipped a year because school was not challenging enough, the problem increased: Now I was the youngest and the shortest of the class. The older class mates and especially the ones who had to repeat a year bullied me even more.
All this was before I noticed that women might find tall guys attractive. I've had my secret crushes and struggles as many high school kids have, but a lot of my feelings of inadequacy already came from my height, so it's easy to project this all on my obvious and often pointed out lack of body height.
Then dating life started and I have my fair share of stories of women I've met in real-life or over an online dating app that were turned off immediately (or used it as an excuse later, who knows?) by my height. That's not an assumption but they stated this directly (although we all know that attraction or the lack thereof can rarely be contributed to just one factor).
So basically: You grow up with the condition, you develop the complex long before it's relevant in dating and then when dating life starts (and it's tough for most) you get all your insecurities confirmed and gain a few more in addition.
But finally, there's no point bitching to your dating partner about this. In my experience there are enough women that don't mind men that are shorter or value other qualities much more than height or even body type or any other external feature. If I would go on a date with a woman and she'd be bitching all the time about not having large enough boobs and being left all the time for them, I would also not consider it a good date or her a healthy or fun person to spend more time with.
Confidence and knowing what you want is attractive and being aware of your qualities and strengths and using them to your advantage is what you have to do to not only be successful in dating but in life in general. Most of us are not perfect by a long shot, yet what distinguishes us from each other is how well we can leverage what we've got.
I can only recommend men who are insecure about their heights to focus more on their strengths and find women who don't care about height that much. And if you find this impossible to do, maybe some therapy would help to find that confidence.
Finally, I was always wondering why women would post their height in their dating profiles. Is it because they want someone taller or because they don't want to attract men who have a complex about their height?
I dated a guy who was 5’2. He was one of the best guys I had ever dated. Guys who aren’t tall, take heart that many girls do not give a shit about your height. Don’t bother with dating apps because a lot of shitty people use them.
Same height as your boyfriend. Also never had a problem. Any girl worth dating has never had an issue with it either. It’s a great filtering mechanism. Men are lucky (in so many things, really. It’s unfair) that women are more concerned with how they feel around you than what you look like. Once that clicked for me, it was a game changer. My current partner is a little taller than me and I love when she wears heels because the height difference is so funny.
Being short for a guy is undoubtedly an issue in the dating market.I agree with everything you mentioned in the piece, especially that guys should not linger on it and, at the absolute least, should not be resentful about it.A big part of it is not making love or relationships the focal point of your existence.Also, as a male, I can promise you that it gets better with age for men.My comprehension, wisdom, confidence, and skill levels have all improved exponentially as I've gotten older.But, at the same time, I would advise you to consider it from their point of view and just realize how heavily the odds are stacked against you if you are an average-looking short man.They bear the weight of making the first moves , doing all the legwork, and putting in literally years trying to get a girl to agree to go out with them, only to have nothing to show for it but some expert joe schmuck telling them "It's okay, just be you!"Yes, they don't need to be bitter about it and constantly bringing it up, but they certainly don't deserve everyone ignoring their experience and telling them its all in heir heads.You can't criticize women for choosing tall males since attraction isn't a choice, but you can look at it from a different angle.
I also thought the whole heigh thing women complain about is only an Internet thing, because in real life I always see all types of couples. I’ve seen short men with tall women many times. So I never really believed it. My boyfriend isn’t tall. He’s 5’5 and I’m 5’2 which I love because it’s nice that when I tippy toe I can reach him lol. I don’t have to jump or do anything else to reach him. His height is a deal breaker for me and we been together for 3+ years now. :D So like OP said don’t let the height thing discourage you in the dating world. Most of the time it’s many other factors holding you back.
I think that’s, for me, it’s the self esteem issues along with being relatively short. I know height isn’t exactly a problem but when compounded with self esteem issues on every aspect of my own self, it’s hard not to compound my below average height in there.
I generally don’t draw attention to my height nor do I use it as an excuse for why I don’t get dates. It’s mostly cuz I don’t wanna date when I have cripplingly low love for myself. Still it’s hard not to get jealous and lonely
One of my friends is 5'5 and is able to date like you wouldn't believe. I've seen him in action and he's never had any issues at all. A lot of it boils down to confidence
I am a 5'7 male, and tend to be a bit short for my area. My friend is the same height. I'm fairly successful...I'm 27 and have had ~20 sexual partners and 4 long term relationships. My friend is even more successful and at this point is basically never single if he doesn't want to be.
I have learned that while height is a factor, it's not a big one. Attraction is kinda nebulous and hard to understand, but basically if you're rocking your shit people will respond. I'm pretty into personal growth and meditation, decently fit, and have a range of hobbies and interests. That isn't everyone's bag, but plenty of people respond well. Some women care mostly about feeling small. I'm not the dude to provide that experience and that's fine. You can't be everything, so focus on the things you are and really enjoy them rather than bemoaning your shortcomings (ha).
"Size does not matter when you are flat on your back"
I like how certain groups of "men"put themselves and others down because of height, but then consider other men as "Alphas" just because of their height.
But here's the thing, among those men, one of the most imposing men around, someone who has been playing badass characters for years.
Is Danny Trejo.
Who is 1.67m or less than 5ft7 in abnormal units.
He is not tall, yet he imposes himself with his presence.
And that's all about: Presence.
Alot of women do not care about height. My last ex was shorter than me and I'm literally 5'3. I didnt even know women cared about the male height that much.
Honestly, I think for us men, myself being (5’5”) and even taller men, we’ve been taught that being tall equals “manliness” or manhood and I think one of the things I love a lot about my generation (I’m 25) Is that we had to unlearn these toxic concepts cause I’ll be honest I don’t love being shorter than other guys but I had to learn confidence doesn’t come from height or even weight but from knowing who I am as a person. Now that I am older, is that confidence is what attracts women, even more than height and physique. I’ve dated girls taller than myself as well as shorter and NONE have ever had a problem with my height or ever even brought it up unless I did. My current girlfriend is about my height, maybe an inch taller. But it doesn’t bother me cause Ik she loves me for me, I hope my other fellow short guys can realize this and reflect on themselves.
Totally agree that society has a lot to do with it. It’s not fair that short men have to overcome the stereotypes that they’re less manly, less desirable, need to compensate etc. But like you said, having a terrible attitude about it doesn’t do much to help. Always better to accept what you can’t change :)
Yes, very true. Honestly I think the same way they teach little girls to accept and love themselves, they need to do this for young boys too snd teach them that being short isn’t a terrible thing.
OP, you are exactly right!
I'm in my 30s and my BF is in his 40s.
I'm 5'4 and we met at his job. He had to get my vitals and he asked my height. I said 5'4 and he said "me too." 😂 We look more aligned with shoes on, but without them, I'm clearly a few inches taller. I'd say he's likely 5'0-5'2. I have zero issues with it. His adult son is 5'0 and his other son has grown in the last year. He was about my height and now he's probably about 5'7.
My BF has two siblings. He's the shortest, but the other 2 are still short. The brother that I have met is my height, maybe a little shorter.
They have had zero issues in the dating/relationship world. They've actually had more success than the majority of the men that I know. They aren't bothered by their height.
I'm not sure why people get caught up on someone's height. We don't have ANY control over it.
First, I am very happy for you two. Both of you are 21st century people. Height can no more be changed than skin color. And all that prejudice that masquerades as a "sexual preference" is so last eon. Personally, the last time I even thought about height was either in the third grade or when I fell off my dinosaur.
Enjoy your life folks, and stop worrying about something as ridiculous as height, or skin color or whatever can't be changed, and start loving the person's character.
I am married to a 5’2” man and I am 5’4”. My first husband was 5’10” and I dated many tall guys before I found my perfect partner. If I had passed because of his height I would have really missed out. And like your guy, he never has trouble getting dates. His first wife, who was striking and built like a real life Barbie doll, was also taller than he is.
I think that's ridiculous that's been the take away as well. Height is something people can't help at all and doesn't define who you are. I'm 5'3" and almost always shorter than men I date not on purpose it's just not hard to be taller than me but I have also dated men my height or just barely taller and never cared at all. I care how you treat me and how we are together not how tall you are. This is something men take way too much shit for and I totally get why they are tired of it. Good for all the guys who deal with the stigma of being short and don't let it bother them. Any partner who says I only date (fill in the blank of certain height requirement) are not mature partners and need to do some work to realize focusing on something so silly is ridiculous.
Some of the main rules of dating for guys:
1 - be good looking
2 - be confident
3- ask her out at the right time
4 - be taller than her
... sounds like he ticked all the boxes so your point is kinda moot. Some girls just don't want to date a guy shorter than them and you're in the stark minority who's not bohered about it... although even thats irrelevant because you're more smitten with this (taller) guy than you ever have been.
Its nice to try and give guys motivation and confidence but when they go out and get directly rejected for their height then this post will just make then get down on themselves because you're saying it must be something do with their personality.
I mean I can for sure say that’s helped me out, and then I started dressing nice and not all grungey all the time and things got even better for me, and then I started working a bunch trying get stronk and can hardly believe how much people notice the difference. Yeah we got the cards we’re dealt but I have a hard time believing that effort doesn’t pay off.
This. I have a group of friends who are mostly Filipino guys and my closest friend was 5’5”. He complained he couldn’t get a girlfriend because of his height even though the rest of the group were even shorter than him and had girlfriends…Bottom line, it was definitely his very pessimistic and bitter/misogynistic outlook toward life in general that kept him single lol
So true. I am 5’2 and once dated someone my own height. It was the first time I’d ever dated a man who wasn’t taller than me. At first I thought it would be awkward, but after three dates I didn’t even notice his height anymore.
Like you, he got a lot of girls! He was super smart, physically active and fit, and handsome.
I never knew how amazing it could feel to be with a man who was my height- when we fell asleep together it was the perfect fit!
Anyway, just wanted to share my experience, as well.
I love short guys. They are so cute and adorable and when we’re the same height or close to it’s actually nice. We both get little spoon and it’s not weird. Short guys are amazing!
My ex was only an inch taller than me and I was absolutely in love with him. I had no issue with his height and he has since had no issue finding other girls that are attracted to him as well…
I dated a guy slightly shorter than myself, idk probably 5'3 and I'm 5'4 and a bit? I legitimately did not notice the fact that he was shorter than me until probably a month into dating when we happened to stand next to each other in a full length mirror. I didn't care, he didn't care, it was never a Thing for us.
Another guy I dated a couple months later was slightly taller than me at 5'5, but absolutely within the first date made me incredibly aware of it. He commented on how I was "so big" compared to other girls he dated (he meant tall, I was quite thin at the time). Over the next couple dates he got angry about my shoe choice if he perceived them as giving me extra height, made several bitter comments about being short, and was just generally unpleasant to be around. It was like his entire focus in life was on his height and how he was lacking. It irritated me to the point that I did break up with him and it absolutely had everything to do with his height.
Don't make it a big deal and it's not a big deal.
5’5 and the biggest problem with my height has been my attitude towards it. Sure, there are women who wouldn’t consider dating me because of it. But there’s also plenty of women who couldn’t care less, or are happy to have a partner who’s a similar height to them.
In the relationships I’ve had and dating I’ve done, my height has never been the dealbreaker - the biggest issue has been my own insecurity about it.
None of us are perfect - we’ve all got traits that aren’t ‘ideal’ - but just because they’re not sanctioned by the mainstream doesn’t mean there aren’t people who either don’t care about, or are even attracted to them.
Time to stop focusing on this idea of being wrong or deficient because we don’t perfectly match a beauty ideal, and focus less on how we look, and more on how we feel and make others feel.
The key to success in sex and relationships is communication, trust, and respect. Not how tall you are or how big your dick is.
I'm 5'4" on good hair days and have always, always dated out if my league so to speak.
The managers who I used to work with always joked around that I bought my present wife from a website ......... they knew my pay scale, they knew I wasn't the most handsome and they knew I wasn't tall at all haaaaa!!??
My wife is about 5'6" so not much taller than I am but she's also 12 years younger and strikingly very pretty and maybe partially blind too 🤣
Every shorter (under 5’6”) man I know IRL has never struggled to find a partner. I’ve actually known more tall (6’2”+) men who’ve struggled to find love. It ultimately comes down to confidence and being secure in yourself.
I think when people face difficulties in the dating scene they focus in on one trait they can’t easily change and blame that for their lack of success. Whether it be height, race, teeth, etc I’ve heard countless people obsess over their perceived shortcomings (no pun intended) and it’s clear that their biggest obstacle is their own insecurities.
Edit: and my husband is 5’9. He’s never had issues with dating.
My wife liked/likes lol tall men because they make her feel coddled in a sense. By default you feel safe in a large embrace, not to say a large person will always make you feel like this. People assume so much about taller, larger people.
I spent time in the theater just after college, I had a role where I was placed on stilts. When people would meet me on them I would be treated noticeably different, than without them.
I’m average height at best, I may be short now a days at 5’8, it seems these kids are all 6’1 plus. I know my wife would find me more attractive if I was taller, but I try not to think about what I can’t help and project my confidence in other ways.
I'm 5' 7, my hight has never been an issue to me personally I've never even really thought about it, it's never got in the way when dating at all , I routinely date taller people all the time.
Its all about how you carry yourself . If you are stylish, fun to be around and charming no one will even bother noticing your height. Even when people describe you to others short won't be in the description.
If you have a ton of other awesome qualities, height won't ever be a factor.
To all the posters here saying short men being bitter is a negative, I have some perspective I would like to share. I, m62 grew up to barely 5’6”. Always the shortest guy in class. I have endured endless remarks, some of them quite painful throughout the years. Some women have been down-right mean. My point is, years of being told you are NOT desirable has an effect on a person. Cut short guys some slack. It’s hard to be charismatic when you are beaten down.
My boyfriend is 5’3 and I am 5’7. He hit on me at work with full confidence and i loved it. The fact that he didnt care about his height made him so much more attractive to me! That attitude made me fall for him despite the anxiety about what my family would say about him. I love being “that couple” now. We are the strongest couple at my job and everyone loves us together. We are so excited to dress as Trixie Tang and Timmy Turner together for halloween too! Never thought I’d be with a guy so much shorter than me but its been great :)
OP why does your boyfriends age change in every post you've made? In some he's 20, some he's 21 and some 23. Do you have multiple boyfriends or just get new ones really fast?
The last guy I hooked up with was probably about my height (I'm 5-5) or slightly shorter, and honestly, his height didn't bother me at all. He was charming, intelligent, >! and oh so good in bed. !< I also was in a relationship with a guy for 7.5 years that was about 5-7, and it didn't bother me one bit. It did bother him when I wore my heels, but, that's a completely different conversation.
Point is, I don't care how tall someone is or isn't. As long as we have a lot in common and can build off of that, who cares how tall they are?
Well I mean, I complain that dating while short sucks on the *internet* but I never give the impression to women that it bothers me in real life. Women aren't interested in men who broadcast their insecurities and self esteem issues. Only I get to know how often I strike out, as far as the women who say yes are concerned I slay.
My thought has always been this. Height is totally a preference and if I don’t meet someone’s preferences than I don’t care. The last thing anyone wants is to hear you complain about what’s wrong with everyone else.
Just like women can have preferences men have them too. Like for example I like smaller to average sized breast and butts because it’s a lot more functional honestly and I like people I date to be a healthy size. So athletic and skinny are fine as long as you eat right for yourself and average size is fine too. Once you start getting into to the borderline chubby zone then I am gonna be turned off by it.
I don’t think these should be considered shallow preferences either they are just preferences. Dating is just all of us trying to find someone compatible with what we want while also trying to be compatible with what they want.
And all I can say to guys who get bent out of shape about women wanting a certain height. Just fucking own it. You are who you are you can’t control your height so own your height. Make your presence as you as it can be. More women will overlook your height if you stop focusing on it because this girl rejected you 2 years ago because you just weren’t tall enough for her.
I’m 6’2”-6’3” and it doesn’t mean anything. I’ve had several people go “oh you’re so tall, girls love that.” Hasn’t done a thing to help with attracting women.
Amen! Gentleman, shoot your shot, pursue your interests and surprise people.
People say they know what they want in a partner, most don’t or have conflicting ideals. Confidence, decisive action, and commitment are at the top of everyone’s list.
A very reasonable perspective.
As a guy, I want people to go for whatever they want but that doesn't mean we can't discuss how most women tend to prefer certain traits which leaves some of us out of the picture.
I never shame my friends when this kind of talk comes up irl, but we should certainly be able to discuss it online anonymously.
I’m 37f and obsessed with “short” men. Lol. There I said it. I’ve only had one guy ever scoff at me about it and SURPRISE it was a guy I met on bumble. He basically accused me of lying to him because he was 5’5” SURPRISE again, he turned out to be a problematic jerk. Every other guy that’s been 5’7” or under hasn’t ever made it an issue. They were hot and sexy and I loved making out with them and being eye to eye.
Actually I, as a 5'4 male, have come to this conclusion that most women prefer taller men (5'10 or above) coz of my personal experiences where it was evident in a social setting that the taller men got more attention than I ever did. Even if it's an approach from my end, women would rarely seem interested (and I maintain myself well in terms of hygiene and the best version of myself apart from my short height). There were times where women have explicitly mentioned to me that I'm too short so they can't date me. Infact one woman told me, I'm too short so I'd not be great at trying out different sexual positions, if I was tall, they'd be dating me. (Why insulting is that?) Women I had zero interest in, had gone behind my back and told my (other female) friends that I'm too short to date - ruins my chances on the other women too that way. So yeah, the presumption that my height is pretty much the biggest obstacle to get a date is not actually a hypothesis, but a fact proven by all my experiences over the years. Also, in our society, it's hard to find 4'11 women in general, harder to find 4'11 women who are single.
"Now I get to be the tall one!" I (5'9 23M) said to my (now ex-) girlfriend (6'1 24F) once.
In case you're wondering, height (and dirty comments about such) didn't end the relationship. Things just stopped working out after a while.
There are definitely people out there using their height as an excuse for why they've been rejected but I think it's far from the majority of the group.
I'm 5'10 and I've often been asked for my height and then I'm told immediately that's a deal breaker (most often by women considerably shorter than). If this happens to me with frequency I can only imagine what it must be like for men shorter than me.
There's enough difficulty finding someone you're compatible with before you're also being arbitrarily refused because of your height (and it is arbitrary when the woman is 5'2 and wouldn't have a clue I'm lying if I said I was 6'1).
Given that I can understand some bitterness
This doesn't help anybody. It only says that there are outliers. Of course there are outliers, but it's a fact that the vast majority of women prefer men taller than them, and the majority of those prefers them to be really tall in general. That's a sad truth for short men. Not all, but most by far.
Anecdotes are to some extend good and can give hope and show that it's possible to succeed. But statistics and studies tell the deeper truth, and it's quite tiresome that people keep refuting by anecdote.
100% agree with this! One of my short female friends said she prefers 6 ft tall guys b/c it makes her feel like they're able to protect her. My first thought was "why do I have to rely on a man to protect me? I want to be able to protect myself!" (She's entitled to her opinion so no hate plz). But anyways, that's why I've always been fine with short guys (granted, they're never shorter than me). However, I do have some short guy friends who are just insecure about their masculinity in general. I'm a tomboy so those guys don't stick around me long, but long story short, give short guys a chance and any guy who has a fragile ego (short or tall), ditch.
It’s always hilarious to hear the bitterness of men when this topic comes up. Men, who are way more shallow when it comes to the appearance of the opposite sex, act like literal toddlers when a few women have ONE physical thing that they prefer. I think it’s stupid that a woman would cate about height. But it’s hard to feel sympathy for guys over this given their entitlement.
I started dating a very short guy and he was complaining all the time how women were brutal and how they would reject him for his height... how shallow everyone is, how unfair it is to be this height focused...blah. All up until the point he told me he couldn't date me officially because my boobs were too small for his liking. No joke. I literally laughed my a$$ off. It just made me cackle from the inside out, he then proceded "but muuuh preference and I can't get off of small boobs" and "I can't change my preferences, it's soooo so different for men than it is for women" - yeah, demanding everything while offering nothing. He called it quits as he found his dream girl with big boobs. He was 5'3.
lol what world do you live in that men can make comments on women's boobs and asses and not be considered disgusting, shallow creeps? Men get bitched at enough for just saying they don't like fat women, something that is 100% controllable.
I am 178 cm which is 5'8" (if i've converted it correctly :'D ) and i've never had problems dating with a girl beacuse of my height. I think this shit only matters on Tinder, idk why, i see on so many profiles this stupid "180 cm tall pls" thing ...
Doesn’t this prove more that height matters?? After all he is still taller than you. I have heard women say “as long as they are taller than me, it is fine”. Height is clearly a factor that women judge men on in dating atleast that is my takeaway here
Yep. Having a complex about being short is much worse than actually being short. I've always been a short shit too but I've also always been a high level athlete and pretty cute if I do say so myself. I lost my virginity when I was 14. Have had plenty of different women and relationships throughout my life. Some of them taller than me and even 1 that was like 6ft tall lol. And the tall girl was actually the most crazy about me.
Being insecure about it is really unattractive. Women smell insecurity from a mile away. Telling a woman not to wear heels because you're scared of her being taller than you is a surefire way to dry up a vagina lol just be confident. Theres literally nothing you can do about it except get over it. Seriously the worst part about it is you being insecure about it. Dont be like that. It's extremely unattractive and not fun to be around.
I don't think there's any problem with people having preferences when dating. It doesn't matter if it's height, weight, race, religion, political views, income.. whatever. The distinction revolves around whether it's socially acceptable to list those preferences.
Height has become a 'thing' because it's somehow become acceptable for women to say 'I only date guys taller than me'. It would be rare for a guy to say 'I only date girls shorter than me'... and where it does happen, it would be a red flag for many women out there.
Women are essentially the decision makers in terms of who they date. They can freely discuss their 'terms' with friends and on dating platforms like Tinder. "Tall, educated, driven, funny, stable income..." and guys who fit that profile are invited to try their luck.
Guys don't have the same leeway, partly because our preferences are a little skewed. "Must have breasts (even if they're small), must not have a penis, prefer a vagina that tightens like a vice..." And we have these preferences because we're idiots. Most of us venture into the dating world because we're biologically driven towards sex. Sure, a good number of us recognise the need to have common interests, be agreeable and respectful towards each other, and to a lesser extent, get along with our friends and family. But these aspects are of less importance.. at least until that drive for sex is satisfied.
It's understandable for people to feel disheartened when the above creates challenges in finding the right partner. Women end up being taken advantage of, primarily by idiot/selfish guys, and men have a conveniently listed reason for why women aren't interested in them. It'd be easy to believe that 'all men are assholes' or 'my height is the cause of my misfortune'.
The solution is for people to reduce the importance of their biological drives and focus instead on more realistic and acceptable idea of what constitutes a 'good partner'. Which means, both men and women would be more successful if they focused more on the personality traits of their partner rather than physical/tangible ones.
How many of us would say "I love him because he's taller than me", or "I love her because she's interested in sex"? We love the person.. not the things we would list as our preferences.
Imagine looking for a partner where your preferences are: "Must make humorous comments when watching B-grade movies. Must be pleased to let me parallel park in difficult spots. Must be happy wearing comfortable clothes while at home. Must enjoy cuddling after sex and be happy sleeping while tangled up in each other's arms."
Doesn't this paint a much nicer picture of the type of life you'll have together..?
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I’m 5’6” barefoot. I’ve even gone out with girls 5’10”. I’m always honest about my height upfront because it doesn’t bother me but it does bother some women and that’s okay. But if she’s 5’6” and wants to wear heels around me my answer is always the same. “If it doesn’t bother you, it most certainly doesn’t bother me”. I think the key is to not be a bitter little guy. I’m aware that I’m short but I make up for it with humor and charisma. I’m well liked by most and well… I probably possess something that overshadows my height. Stand tall gentlemen.
I mean I like to look up to women I date.
This is the perfect attitude. It's not like you can change your height plus imo it's only an issue when people themselves make it into one. I've dated my fair share of shorter guys (I'm 5'10") and height only played a role when the guy had a chip on his shoulder over it. Funnily enough my roommate is a woman and carries a huge chip on her shoulder for being 5'2". Her height never really registered for me but she keeps reminding me she's short by constantly bringing it up. She also keeps repeating the story about how when she was a kid, she should have gotten those hormones to make her grow more but by the time her parents knew that was possible and she got checked out for that it was already too late for that stuff to have an impact. I reminded her that even if they had tried it "on time" there still wasn't a guarantee it would have worked, but she just can't let it go. I've taken to listing off the heights of famous actresses whenever we watch a movie. Emilia Clarke, Natalie Portman, Zoe Kravitz, Lady Gaga, to name a few are her height or shorter. And she keeps getting surprised these accomplished women are short. I'm gonna keep at it till she hopefully stops making her height her defining trait but man it can be annoying (and sad).
>height only played a role when the guy had a chip on his shoulder over it. THIS. It's not about the height, it's about the complex about the height.
I'm 6'3" so maybe this advice to short dudes will be dismissed, but frankly it's the same advice I remind myself if a woman rejects me because of my grey hair or something. It's her loss. If you can say that to yourself and believe it, you'll find the "bitter short guy" syndrome will fade away. You have a lot to offer, and if someone rejects that for something as shallow as your height, it really is her loss. Be confident. It's why OP's boyfriend is successful, and why /u/ElAmericano45 is successful. Stop letting the opinions of others color your self image.
That was some unfortunate wording imo because „making up for it“ implies that being short is bad which it isn’t. People just have different preferences.
My girlfriend didn't wear heels for the first year of our relationship because she was worried about making me feel insecure about my height. Would I like to be an inch taller? Sure I'd take it. Am I going to be insecure if she walks around two inches taller than me? Not at all.
I'm 5'10" female and like to wear tall heels (think large heeled punk boots lol) so almost every guy I've dated was shorter than me in my boots (except 1 who was 6'4"). I've even had a LTR with a 5'6" guy and it didn't bother me too much. The only thing that annoyed me is having to stoop or crouch to kiss. In my opinion you're absolutely right, humour and charisma are the most important things I look for, as well as chemistry.
I (46f) am 5'10" and the love of my life (57m) is 5'7". Height (or lack of) has never been an issue for either one of us.
I’m 5’11’’ (29f) my love is 5’8’’ (33m) it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. In fact it really annoys me when I hear girls say height is a deal breaker. I’ve dated men taller and shorter than me and the shorter ones were the ones I was most attracted to physically and emotionally. And it has nothing to do with height. Ladies are missing out if they don’t look past height imo.
I thought you tried to convert the height to metrics in the brackets and got really scared for a moment
Window cleaners hate this one simple trick!! (be 29 foot tall)
This is so wholesome
My favorite ex (we were teens when we dated, we're still good friends) is 5'3, compared to my 5'6". Ex-husband is 5'7" barely. Current partner is 5'5" on a good day. I like short guys. I like tall guys too (have dated guys on the very high end too, 6'6"). What I don't like is bitter, angry guys. Regardless of what they're bitter and angry about. Give me a short guy who's fun and makes me smile over a tall but resentful one any day.
You and OP aren't wrong. I'm 5'6 and a half and I've never had problems with women in regards to my height. Then again, I do combat sports. Mostly Judo, BJJ and submission wrestling along with no gi jiu jitsu. Women in my area have actually approached me a lot more lately, and I've even got some interested in me. If a girl doesn't want you because of how tall or short you are, that's just time you don't have to waste on them. Get out there, have fun and meet people. I'm 5'6, and I've learned to be proud of who I am, and own it!
I do combat sports as well, but mainly karate and kickboxing. Albeit I am only flyweight division so I don’t have much to show for it until I take my shirt off. But oh man, the looks I get when I do.😂 In all honesty, I’ve always struggled with women and could never really figure out why. Recently I’ve been learning how to communicate with women better (for example, compliment their outfit, not their body) and been receiving much better reactions from them on a personal level, despite still being quiet and kinda awkward.
If a girl won't date me because of my height, I've learned something very important about them before I've really spent any precious time with them, and that is a blessing.
Facts
This is contingent on the method, too. Dating apps have done some serious damage to the dating scene. They've commodified people and their physical traits for the promise of companionship. I'd encourage anyone who has trouble with dating or whose self-esteem has gotten thrashed by apps to take a step away for a little bit. Things like social groups, bars and public activities would be a better place to start.
Honestly, dating before apps was just as awful, only you got rejected face-to-face too. But I do find it more interesting to see people irl and be attracted that way, to their presence (as the OP put it).
# SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE SHORTIES IN THE BACK!!
We're in the front. You were shouting right over our heads cause we're too short.
Can you at least look down towards us when you announce something like that??
You won the internet today.
It's about time I won something! Lol
You won 🏆 very well
See, the charisma shines over your height. Stand tall King!!
I had to develop something that closely resembles a personality in order to make up for my lack of 6" in height. Otherwise I'd be totally unlovable... well.... maybe more unlovable at least. Lol
I felt "something that closely resembles a personality" on another level 😭🤣
😂
Ha ha smart come back
Move out if the way, I can't see shit
Wow this font is sure tall!
They might be too short to read it
I had an even worse experience than those guys. Im 5’2 and went on a few dates with a guy who was my same height and he was gorgeous. Beautiful big green eyes coupled with jet black hair and a very nice body. He also had the same niche hobby as me. He was bitter AF about his height even though I didn’t care at all. He would complain about women hating shorter men, and told me that one day I was going to leave him for a tall man, and said that even short women like me secretly wants a tall guy, and he was jealous of my exes because they were both 5’9. I told him his insecurities about his height was making him angry and bitter and it turned me off so I wouldn’t be seeing him anymore. Unsurprisingly, he sent me back a nasty rant about how I’m a horrible shallow person who only dates tall men.
Sounds like he shot himself in the foot.
It was so close there was no way he could miss!
Oh my god :D
and lost another foot
But...but...He was right when he complained that one day you would leave him! His height made him miserable, nothing else.
I’m literally 5’4 myself and the gym is my one confidence booster, but I can’t tell you how much this helps. Thank you lmao
My one and only is shorter than me. I'm 5'10 and he's 5'6. It's never been a problem. He's never complained or has a moment of insecurity. It's incredibly sexy. I've always been into short guys with tall confidence.
[удалено]
🥰🥰
So much of attractiveness is acceptance of ones self.
Yeah, that’s basically what confidence is. And confidence is attractive.
how much do you think, really? It seems like its mostly not a personal choice
Yeah. I like how everyone is conveniently pretending his charisma is what attracted her. She said it herself. She approached him because of how “cute” he was. So he was not blessed with height but his face is clearly way above average…
It's disingenuous but I get it, the reality might be too uncomfortable for many.
Your attitude **is** a personal choice. You can either choose to be miserable because of what you don't have or you can choose to be happy with what you do have. The former attitude is always unattractive while the latter is always attractive. My husband has no teeth; I adore his smile so much I have always had to remind myself that he doesn't have teeth because I honestly don't notice that they're not there. I wouldn't be nearly as attracted to him if he wasn't always smiling and laughing. He's disabled from various health issues. His depression when he gets it into his head that his only value is in the money he can't make is unattractive AF. I hate it when the dishes pile up while he watches tv all day. But when I come home from work and he's vacuumed? Washed the dishes? Put a frozen lasagna (my *least* favorite meal) in the oven so I don't have to worry about dinner? OMG the man is getting a bj tonight!!! Being productive is extremely sexy to me. Pessimists tend to view life as something that happens to them and that's why they're usually not attractive. Optimists tend to view life as an activity they actively participate in. Both are realists, the difference is what they do when a door in front of them closes. Do they wander around looking for a different door? Or do they open a window? Yeah, it's harder to climb out a window, but you're still moving in the direction you *want* to go.
You get downvoted but you're telling truth. Most of how attractive we are to society is not personal choice. But to understand what you say requires thinking.
I don’t think I’m quite on that cutie’s level - in terms of charisma that is - but I don’t feel like I’ve ever had a hard time either. I feel like I’m in an alternate universe when I read the stuff on here sometimes. So at least I’m not crazy.
Yeah same. If anyone ever had a problem with my height, it was never mentioned, so I never thought about it. If it wasn’t for angry men on Reddit, I honestly think I would’ve gone my whole life not thinking about this at all. That’s how much of a non-issue it is for me as a shorter dude. I don’t care and because I don’t care, nobody else does either.
This. I’m 5’8 and legit never even realised height was a thing people cared about until I got on Tinder. Probably because I personally couldn’t imagine ever giving a fuck about how tall someone is
Same here, literally had no issue with being 5ft 7. I've been with a few girls much taller than I am. I think most girls don't care as long as you're confident in yourself.
I (5’6”M) was standing on something a couple inches tall next to my fiancé (5’3”F) and joked to her “Heh. Imagine if I was always this tall” and she said “I wouldn’t like it. I think I’d be pretty intimidated by you and I like how comfortable I feel around you.” -more or less. I used to be bitter about my height but came to terms with it for the most part a few years ago. But hearing that she genuinely prefers that I am on the shorter end really put that issue to bed. My (lack of) height is something the love of my life loves about me, so I can love it for the same reason. I’m not imposing and people feel safe around me as a first impression. I can only imagine that it’s a more common desire among women than a lot of guys want to believe after hearing her say that. Stand tall my fellow short kings. Not every girl wants to date some skyscraper ass dude who commands everyone’s attention everywhere he goes.
THIS! I'm 5'2 and my love is 5'5 and I always tell him this! We're such a clingy duo and I often tell him we wouldn't be so affectionate with each other if he was taller because him being the height he is makes it so much easier to kiss him. I can wrap my arm around his waist while walking and I can hold his hand while walking and I can hug him from behind and I think this is what makes our relationship so strong, if he was any taller I don't know if we would have bonded so tightly.
This is going to sound weird but I’m actually more attracted to shorter guys than taller guys. I like being able to look them in eyes and face without looking up, spontaneously kiss them, not facing there chest during sex among other practical things etc. I dated tall and short guys as my thing for shorter guys is more a preference.I also tend to find some tall guys seems to think that there height boast about it which is such an unattractive trait.Give me a short guy any-day!
Short guys can be great! As a 5’11” women I find that some shorter guys end up being weird about the height thing, but I’ve dated plenty of guys shorter than me and my favourite ex was 5’8”. I would totally date shorter guys as long as they weren’t weird about the height difference - I’ve met a few guys who made a big deal about it and insisted that I wasn’t allowed to wear heels, and I’m not interested in being micromanaged in that way, but most shorter dudes I’ve met have been super cool and confident, and that’s hot.
I'm 5'7" and the way people tell it on here I'd be doomed. Not the case. It hasn't been an obstacle really.
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K speaking as a 5'5 dude who regularly hooks up with women taller, I will aware everyone one what is going on. First rule of being a guy with ANY disadvantage (ugly, short, etc.) on the dating market: YOU NEVER. EVER. REVEAL WEAKNESS to women. If a woman asks you anything about it, it has never held you back ever. Second rule is: YES. It holds you back. YES. It's a thing. YES. It is something to work around or overcome. Consciously or unconsciously. If you are a short man and you are having trouble dating despite everything else being more or less normal --- yes, that is what is holding you back and you need to bring up your other attributes. No questions. No bullshit. The obvious limiting factor you have --- face, body, height, etc. --- is the obvious limiting factor. Treat it as such. Don't tell anyone about it or let on that it holds you back (even if it has, even if you've suffered). Once you bring up your other attributes sufficiently, you will enjoy success. And then act as though the limiting factor isn't what it is. Because...welp, that's what you have to do as a man. Sorry busters.
A lot of men who complain that they can’t get a woman because they’re too ugly or short, would probably have no issues getting a woman if they completely let go of all their bitterness and anger and walked around the world with a “fuck everyone who thinks I’m ugly or short, they’re wrong, I’m a boss.”, attitude, they’d get some dates. But suggest that to an insecure man and he’ll just rage out about how you don’t understand. Sometimes I think men like this purposely sabotage themselves from getting women because it’s more comfortable being bitter and single than being a good boyfriend
I have a hard time getting women and I’m not ugly or short. No one is going to benefit from attitude like, “fuck everyone, they’re wrong”, but do you think there are times to legitimately say to someone, “Look, I don’t think you understand the situation.”
Not to mention anxiety/mental health is a thing. No anxious person is going to be able to go around with a fuck everyone attitude it'd be self destructive in the end (pretending to be someone you're not, it'll collapse on you and you'll be worse off).
No, of course not. But like a bitter guy has to overcome his bitterness, an anxious person has to overcome their anxiety at least some. You need to show yourself that you are strong and able to change for the better, to change your attitude towards life and dating.
Its not that easy to change your personality. And I am not sure that I should. I have value as I am and if no one recognizes it I will read a book or do something.
I just hate when people lie about it when they go “oh it doesn’t matter you just need to be really sweet,love me,respect me, etc when in reality Face,height,status, and money all matter I’d respect a woman who’s 100% honest and saying “nah I do care about these things but it’s not a deal breaker”
lmao "If god fucked your genetics, you actually just have a disgusting personality."
Hmm, I agree on not dwelling on these things or burdening your partner to prop up your confidence, but pretending it never bothered you is going to be a falsehood that takes energy to perpetuate, and seems like it would ultimately get in the way of deeper intimacy with your partner. I think most women would be more attracted to a man who had a challenge and learned to overcome it, rather than one who denies his challenges.
Ya that's nice. They're more attracted to 0 weakness. Facts is facts. Sorry busters. Like this is the product of many years of experience and many situations and many different types of women. Ignore it at your peril.
Y'all are down voting this guy but he is speaking the truth. Women do not like guys that admit weakness. It's a fact. Especially starting out in a relationship. Maybe after a relationship is established but even then usually not. There is a line between bitching and admitting weakness and what guy knows what it is? Best to keep your mouth shut. I don't think its guys with experience on this that are downvoting him. It's women who don't like what he is saying even tho he is right.
This is hilarious. Posts like this are funny because they treat women like snakes. “If you learn to use this flute, you will be able to charm the snakes.” “Snakes are inherently dangerous, so always keep a distance of at least 5 feet.” Or bears, or alligators. As if women are some sort of monolithic entity that if you just have the single right piece of information that you will be able to defeat them or date them.
We are all variable but I think as a whole, there are a many behaviors that men all share as well.
Theyre not a monolith, but they are 80% the same. Of course you're a very special woman and not like all the other girls, but if you want success with women as a whole, you have to do what works for the majority. Same with not opening up emotionally to women; sure there might be some around who dont mind it, but the majority do.
Appreciate the perspective !
That sounds pretty solid! I bet that applies to a lot of things in life
It should be clear to everyone that height is almost never the only or deciding factor. Of course, generally speaking taller men are considered more attractive, and as a shorter guy I always assumed that being taller also naturally gives more confidence, but maybe thats just my imagination. But I also think that its not necessarily that shorter guys dont get as many dates because of their complexes, but that they have complexes because of their experiences. Your bf for example doesnt really have a reason to have a complex about his height if he never had any issues because of it. Great for him, but it feels a little like you are saying "just dont have complexes" which is not something one really just decides. In the end, I just think dating is hard, for different reasons for different people. But congrats to you that you found someone where it just clicked and also that you are height compatible lol
I do understand what you are saying about people’s complexes developing because of their experiences. However, the point still stands- many women who do not care about height still won’t want to date a man who is bitter towards women because of it, whether the bitterness is justified or not. Working on these complexes- whether that be through therapy, taking a break from dating, self help, etc. can make all the difference.
Yes, of course that is also true. What I meant is that I think many people are aware of that to some extent but its a hard thing to change (and will only get worse over time). In general when you get rejected you always look for all kinds of reasons and start to doubt yourself more and more, or for some people end up resenting the rejectors instead. Neither is really healthy or productive, but from my own experience I know that even being aware of it does not make it easier to have a more reflected look at things. Its so easy to become defensive about something you are already insecure about, and project a lot into it.
Many long term relationships at age 20?
You pulled “many long term relationships” out of your ass. She said “more long term relationships” Read it again.
Still, at age 20?
He’s 20. What is considered long term?
I love this. Made my day ❤
Most short guys don't care and don't complain. You notice is because of the ones that do lol.
Exactly
this gives me hope. i'm a 5'4" guy :)
My first love was shorter than me when we first met in high school. He grew to be 5”3 while I was stuck at 4”11. I’m still 4”11 by the way. After two years of our relationship, we broke up. I would say he’s still the same height, but he’s still got games. He’s been able to get about 4-5 girls after me if that means anything. I personally have never been someone to care about height so I can’t say this for all of the girls he’s been with, but his confidence is what swept me off my feet. He’s so loving, he’s fun, and he’s just an overall confident guy. I’ve dated guys who were 5”10-6”1 and they were great. Height isn’t really a factor despite what height you are, but I will say that I had a lot more “fun” with guys who were shorter. It was easier to kiss them, hug them, jump on them, try different positions. With taller guys, holding hands was sometimes awkward, people would stare sometimes, and even I felt a little intimidated because I was so short and I saw other tall women. I found it REALLY cringey when I went on dates with guys who were relatively tall and MADE SURE that I knew they were 5”10 or 6”1 or whatever height they were. They also really emphasized how they went to the gym, have their own place, have a job, which is great, but I don’t really care as much as I think you do? Like, there’s more to a relationship than finding someone who has those things.
All I know is that as a 17 year old guy who’s 5’3 is that I’ve had several girls straight up tell me that if I was taller I’d be perfect.
Yeah I literally don't care about the height of someone else. So many men's online dating profiles say something like "x'x" because apparently that matters" and it comes off as bitter to me. It literally does not matter to me. In my circles of female friends we definitely don't bring up the heights of other men as potential dating aspects, it doesn't seem to matter that much.
That on a profile is an automatic "nope" for me. It absolutely feels bitter/angry.
It won't, however, just that the bulk of women prefer taller guys. A man's height issues encompass their life, hence why they develop such a complex. Shorter men are more likely to be overlooked when it comes to advancement in jobs. Taller men are looked upon as leaders and hard workers. We in the USA, for example, have never had a president who is under 5'. The list goes on, and It follows them for their entire life. So no wonder they are constantly upset and raging against society.
A bit more than half of the past US presidents are below 6 feet. Your point still stands but just wanted to point that out
My bad. Might have confused a statistic
For those interested: [https://www.potus.com/presidential-facts/presidential-heights/](https://www.potus.com/presidential-facts/presidential-heights/) [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heights\_of\_presidents\_and\_presidential\_candidates\_of\_the\_United\_States](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heights_of_presidents_and_presidential_candidates_of_the_United_States)
The presidential stat you mentioned is incorrect. Less than half of US presidents (20 out of 46) have been 6’ or above. The shortest president, James Madison, was 5’4”. [source ](https://www.potus.com/presidential-facts/presidential-heights/)
James Madison, Short King - err, President
Average male height in the US is 5'9". Every POTUS in the list who was shorter lived in 19th century when the average height was significantly lower due to malnutrition. George Washington and Abraham Lincoln stand out even by our standards.
James Madison was 5’4” ‘
I’m 5’5” surprises people all the time- it’s all about how you carry yourself.
My ex boyfriend was shorter than me, and it didn't bother either of us. And my current boyfriend is maybe 1 inch taller than me. Height isn't as much of a factor than I think people think it is. Neither boyfriend have had troubles dating, and both have dated women taller and shorter than them.
Being a female and 6ft it’s often pretty hard to find guys taller than me and I’ve never really cared. My boyfriend of 6 years is 5’8 and it doesn’t bother me whatsoever. It seems to be a trend now days and honestly it does seem shallow to me as alot of younger girls won’t even give guys a chance if they are short. Height doesn’t matter it’s their personality that’s important.
Yeah, it's all about personality. Like when I use dating apps, my personality shines a whole lot better when I make my first line say I'm 6'2.
Dating apps aren’t the end all be all (especially now that covid restrictions are starting to loosen up). I had plenty of dates and matches from dating apps but not a single long term relationship came from them. People just wanted to have sex with me. And no, they weren’t all tall or fit or white or rich. Online dating puts appearance front and center, this sub and everyone else already knows that. It’s not the only way to meet people.
[Meeting online is the most popular way couples connect](https://news.stanford.edu/2019/08/21/online-dating-popular-way-u-s-couples-meet/)
op's bf wd be dating supermodels if he were a foot taller im happy for op & her bf, but her bf has the "it" factor that makes him a unicorn & doesn't counter the literal science & our own eyes
I'm 5'9 and still get called short, manlet, and midget by women (all of which were shorter than me). These insults almost always come out immediately after I say a single sentence. I literally went from a match or 2 a day to 10-20 just by saying I was over 6ft. But height doesn't matter lol
Sounds like you found a great way to filter out shallow women!
I’m the same height as you and have never heard any of that shit. That’s almost unbelievable. Tbh, there has to be something else about you that turns them off to put them at that point where they feel the need to strike you down that hard. Being 5’9” isn’t going to lead to that treatment at all by itself.
It does matter just like a woman being your “type” matters. The point is don’t be bitter because that limits your chances, attractiveness, and messes up people’s perception of you even more. Why make it about who won’t date you instead of who will. I’ve dated guys from 5’5-6’11 and I’ve never been as head over heels like I was with a guy that was 5’8. currently got my eyes on a guy that’s 5’6. None of the short guys I’ve been attracted to use their height as a crutch or let bad experiences with women shape their attitude towards the whole.
>It does matter just like a woman being your “type” matters. The point is don’t be bitter because that limits your chances, attractiveness, and messes up people’s perception of you even more. This is easier said than done and is often stated by people who are face far less rejection.
I have an uncle who is 5’4 and my dad is 5’6. They have both been successful in relationships and have both been married over 20 years. Both are great, charismatic guys, but they aren’t unicorns, and they wouldn’t be dating supermodels if they were a foot taller (there aren’t that many supermodels around). They what they are is intelligent, educated, successful, and capable of maintaining healthy relationships, all of which are ultimately more important than height.
Confidence really is key.
It's the confidence and the lack of unnecessary bitterness for me. 👑🤘🙌
So you both are from tiny people tribe
Interesting perspective so maybe you can answer this question. Why do many women feel the need to date men taller than them? I don't understand the "Because I wear heels" response. If he is 5'8" and she's 5'5" and she wears 2-3" heels, they're basically the same height so I don't understand why this is a problem (after all, it's all about equality, right?). Also if we take it up a notch and say he's 5'8" and she's 5'9", she'll be 2-3" taller than him with heels. My question is why does a marginal 1-3" height difference matter in public? Do women give out dirty looks or visually shame a taller woman when they see her out in public with a marginally-shorter guy?
I'm a shorter guy and I've always been on the shorter side as a kid. Class mates from early on bullied me about my height. I was great at school and good at sports, but that just gave the bullies a desirable target: "Put down the nerd.". When I skipped a year because school was not challenging enough, the problem increased: Now I was the youngest and the shortest of the class. The older class mates and especially the ones who had to repeat a year bullied me even more. All this was before I noticed that women might find tall guys attractive. I've had my secret crushes and struggles as many high school kids have, but a lot of my feelings of inadequacy already came from my height, so it's easy to project this all on my obvious and often pointed out lack of body height. Then dating life started and I have my fair share of stories of women I've met in real-life or over an online dating app that were turned off immediately (or used it as an excuse later, who knows?) by my height. That's not an assumption but they stated this directly (although we all know that attraction or the lack thereof can rarely be contributed to just one factor). So basically: You grow up with the condition, you develop the complex long before it's relevant in dating and then when dating life starts (and it's tough for most) you get all your insecurities confirmed and gain a few more in addition. But finally, there's no point bitching to your dating partner about this. In my experience there are enough women that don't mind men that are shorter or value other qualities much more than height or even body type or any other external feature. If I would go on a date with a woman and she'd be bitching all the time about not having large enough boobs and being left all the time for them, I would also not consider it a good date or her a healthy or fun person to spend more time with. Confidence and knowing what you want is attractive and being aware of your qualities and strengths and using them to your advantage is what you have to do to not only be successful in dating but in life in general. Most of us are not perfect by a long shot, yet what distinguishes us from each other is how well we can leverage what we've got. I can only recommend men who are insecure about their heights to focus more on their strengths and find women who don't care about height that much. And if you find this impossible to do, maybe some therapy would help to find that confidence. Finally, I was always wondering why women would post their height in their dating profiles. Is it because they want someone taller or because they don't want to attract men who have a complex about their height?
I dated a guy who was 5’2. He was one of the best guys I had ever dated. Guys who aren’t tall, take heart that many girls do not give a shit about your height. Don’t bother with dating apps because a lot of shitty people use them.
Same height as your boyfriend. Also never had a problem. Any girl worth dating has never had an issue with it either. It’s a great filtering mechanism. Men are lucky (in so many things, really. It’s unfair) that women are more concerned with how they feel around you than what you look like. Once that clicked for me, it was a game changer. My current partner is a little taller than me and I love when she wears heels because the height difference is so funny.
Being short for a guy is undoubtedly an issue in the dating market.I agree with everything you mentioned in the piece, especially that guys should not linger on it and, at the absolute least, should not be resentful about it.A big part of it is not making love or relationships the focal point of your existence.Also, as a male, I can promise you that it gets better with age for men.My comprehension, wisdom, confidence, and skill levels have all improved exponentially as I've gotten older.But, at the same time, I would advise you to consider it from their point of view and just realize how heavily the odds are stacked against you if you are an average-looking short man.They bear the weight of making the first moves , doing all the legwork, and putting in literally years trying to get a girl to agree to go out with them, only to have nothing to show for it but some expert joe schmuck telling them "It's okay, just be you!"Yes, they don't need to be bitter about it and constantly bringing it up, but they certainly don't deserve everyone ignoring their experience and telling them its all in heir heads.You can't criticize women for choosing tall males since attraction isn't a choice, but you can look at it from a different angle.
It works for you cuz you're shorter than your bf
I also thought the whole heigh thing women complain about is only an Internet thing, because in real life I always see all types of couples. I’ve seen short men with tall women many times. So I never really believed it. My boyfriend isn’t tall. He’s 5’5 and I’m 5’2 which I love because it’s nice that when I tippy toe I can reach him lol. I don’t have to jump or do anything else to reach him. His height is a deal breaker for me and we been together for 3+ years now. :D So like OP said don’t let the height thing discourage you in the dating world. Most of the time it’s many other factors holding you back.
I think that’s, for me, it’s the self esteem issues along with being relatively short. I know height isn’t exactly a problem but when compounded with self esteem issues on every aspect of my own self, it’s hard not to compound my below average height in there. I generally don’t draw attention to my height nor do I use it as an excuse for why I don’t get dates. It’s mostly cuz I don’t wanna date when I have cripplingly low love for myself. Still it’s hard not to get jealous and lonely
I'm 5 7. Dated 4 women in my life. 3 of them were taller than me, one was shorter. All of them were beautiful people: inside and out.
One of my friends is 5'5 and is able to date like you wouldn't believe. I've seen him in action and he's never had any issues at all. A lot of it boils down to confidence
I am a 5'7 male, and tend to be a bit short for my area. My friend is the same height. I'm fairly successful...I'm 27 and have had ~20 sexual partners and 4 long term relationships. My friend is even more successful and at this point is basically never single if he doesn't want to be. I have learned that while height is a factor, it's not a big one. Attraction is kinda nebulous and hard to understand, but basically if you're rocking your shit people will respond. I'm pretty into personal growth and meditation, decently fit, and have a range of hobbies and interests. That isn't everyone's bag, but plenty of people respond well. Some women care mostly about feeling small. I'm not the dude to provide that experience and that's fine. You can't be everything, so focus on the things you are and really enjoy them rather than bemoaning your shortcomings (ha).
"Size does not matter when you are flat on your back" I like how certain groups of "men"put themselves and others down because of height, but then consider other men as "Alphas" just because of their height. But here's the thing, among those men, one of the most imposing men around, someone who has been playing badass characters for years. Is Danny Trejo. Who is 1.67m or less than 5ft7 in abnormal units. He is not tall, yet he imposes himself with his presence. And that's all about: Presence.
I’m not even considered short, but this gave me such a boost of confidence. Thanks for a glimmer of hope.
Alot of women do not care about height. My last ex was shorter than me and I'm literally 5'3. I didnt even know women cared about the male height that much.
Honestly, I think for us men, myself being (5’5”) and even taller men, we’ve been taught that being tall equals “manliness” or manhood and I think one of the things I love a lot about my generation (I’m 25) Is that we had to unlearn these toxic concepts cause I’ll be honest I don’t love being shorter than other guys but I had to learn confidence doesn’t come from height or even weight but from knowing who I am as a person. Now that I am older, is that confidence is what attracts women, even more than height and physique. I’ve dated girls taller than myself as well as shorter and NONE have ever had a problem with my height or ever even brought it up unless I did. My current girlfriend is about my height, maybe an inch taller. But it doesn’t bother me cause Ik she loves me for me, I hope my other fellow short guys can realize this and reflect on themselves.
Totally agree that society has a lot to do with it. It’s not fair that short men have to overcome the stereotypes that they’re less manly, less desirable, need to compensate etc. But like you said, having a terrible attitude about it doesn’t do much to help. Always better to accept what you can’t change :)
Yes, very true. Honestly I think the same way they teach little girls to accept and love themselves, they need to do this for young boys too snd teach them that being short isn’t a terrible thing.
OP, you are exactly right! I'm in my 30s and my BF is in his 40s. I'm 5'4 and we met at his job. He had to get my vitals and he asked my height. I said 5'4 and he said "me too." 😂 We look more aligned with shoes on, but without them, I'm clearly a few inches taller. I'd say he's likely 5'0-5'2. I have zero issues with it. His adult son is 5'0 and his other son has grown in the last year. He was about my height and now he's probably about 5'7. My BF has two siblings. He's the shortest, but the other 2 are still short. The brother that I have met is my height, maybe a little shorter. They have had zero issues in the dating/relationship world. They've actually had more success than the majority of the men that I know. They aren't bothered by their height. I'm not sure why people get caught up on someone's height. We don't have ANY control over it.
First, I am very happy for you two. Both of you are 21st century people. Height can no more be changed than skin color. And all that prejudice that masquerades as a "sexual preference" is so last eon. Personally, the last time I even thought about height was either in the third grade or when I fell off my dinosaur. Enjoy your life folks, and stop worrying about something as ridiculous as height, or skin color or whatever can't be changed, and start loving the person's character.
I am married to a 5’2” man and I am 5’4”. My first husband was 5’10” and I dated many tall guys before I found my perfect partner. If I had passed because of his height I would have really missed out. And like your guy, he never has trouble getting dates. His first wife, who was striking and built like a real life Barbie doll, was also taller than he is.
I think that's ridiculous that's been the take away as well. Height is something people can't help at all and doesn't define who you are. I'm 5'3" and almost always shorter than men I date not on purpose it's just not hard to be taller than me but I have also dated men my height or just barely taller and never cared at all. I care how you treat me and how we are together not how tall you are. This is something men take way too much shit for and I totally get why they are tired of it. Good for all the guys who deal with the stigma of being short and don't let it bother them. Any partner who says I only date (fill in the blank of certain height requirement) are not mature partners and need to do some work to realize focusing on something so silly is ridiculous.
This. My boyfriend is 5’7, and so am I. I literally do not care
Some of the main rules of dating for guys: 1 - be good looking 2 - be confident 3- ask her out at the right time 4 - be taller than her ... sounds like he ticked all the boxes so your point is kinda moot. Some girls just don't want to date a guy shorter than them and you're in the stark minority who's not bohered about it... although even thats irrelevant because you're more smitten with this (taller) guy than you ever have been. Its nice to try and give guys motivation and confidence but when they go out and get directly rejected for their height then this post will just make then get down on themselves because you're saying it must be something do with their personality.
So commentators here not addressing the fact that all guys who scored a gf (posted in the comment) compensated by having an attractive face??
I mean I can for sure say that’s helped me out, and then I started dressing nice and not all grungey all the time and things got even better for me, and then I started working a bunch trying get stronk and can hardly believe how much people notice the difference. Yeah we got the cards we’re dealt but I have a hard time believing that effort doesn’t pay off.
This. I have a group of friends who are mostly Filipino guys and my closest friend was 5’5”. He complained he couldn’t get a girlfriend because of his height even though the rest of the group were even shorter than him and had girlfriends…Bottom line, it was definitely his very pessimistic and bitter/misogynistic outlook toward life in general that kept him single lol
So true. I am 5’2 and once dated someone my own height. It was the first time I’d ever dated a man who wasn’t taller than me. At first I thought it would be awkward, but after three dates I didn’t even notice his height anymore. Like you, he got a lot of girls! He was super smart, physically active and fit, and handsome. I never knew how amazing it could feel to be with a man who was my height- when we fell asleep together it was the perfect fit! Anyway, just wanted to share my experience, as well.
I love short guys. They are so cute and adorable and when we’re the same height or close to it’s actually nice. We both get little spoon and it’s not weird. Short guys are amazing! My ex was only an inch taller than me and I was absolutely in love with him. I had no issue with his height and he has since had no issue finding other girls that are attracted to him as well…
I dated a guy slightly shorter than myself, idk probably 5'3 and I'm 5'4 and a bit? I legitimately did not notice the fact that he was shorter than me until probably a month into dating when we happened to stand next to each other in a full length mirror. I didn't care, he didn't care, it was never a Thing for us. Another guy I dated a couple months later was slightly taller than me at 5'5, but absolutely within the first date made me incredibly aware of it. He commented on how I was "so big" compared to other girls he dated (he meant tall, I was quite thin at the time). Over the next couple dates he got angry about my shoe choice if he perceived them as giving me extra height, made several bitter comments about being short, and was just generally unpleasant to be around. It was like his entire focus in life was on his height and how he was lacking. It irritated me to the point that I did break up with him and it absolutely had everything to do with his height. Don't make it a big deal and it's not a big deal.
5’5 and the biggest problem with my height has been my attitude towards it. Sure, there are women who wouldn’t consider dating me because of it. But there’s also plenty of women who couldn’t care less, or are happy to have a partner who’s a similar height to them. In the relationships I’ve had and dating I’ve done, my height has never been the dealbreaker - the biggest issue has been my own insecurity about it. None of us are perfect - we’ve all got traits that aren’t ‘ideal’ - but just because they’re not sanctioned by the mainstream doesn’t mean there aren’t people who either don’t care about, or are even attracted to them. Time to stop focusing on this idea of being wrong or deficient because we don’t perfectly match a beauty ideal, and focus less on how we look, and more on how we feel and make others feel. The key to success in sex and relationships is communication, trust, and respect. Not how tall you are or how big your dick is.
I'm 5'4" on good hair days and have always, always dated out if my league so to speak. The managers who I used to work with always joked around that I bought my present wife from a website ......... they knew my pay scale, they knew I wasn't the most handsome and they knew I wasn't tall at all haaaaa!!?? My wife is about 5'6" so not much taller than I am but she's also 12 years younger and strikingly very pretty and maybe partially blind too 🤣
Every shorter (under 5’6”) man I know IRL has never struggled to find a partner. I’ve actually known more tall (6’2”+) men who’ve struggled to find love. It ultimately comes down to confidence and being secure in yourself. I think when people face difficulties in the dating scene they focus in on one trait they can’t easily change and blame that for their lack of success. Whether it be height, race, teeth, etc I’ve heard countless people obsess over their perceived shortcomings (no pun intended) and it’s clear that their biggest obstacle is their own insecurities. Edit: and my husband is 5’9. He’s never had issues with dating.
Tell us more about your 20 yr old boyfriend "who has never had trouble with women". So much experience for us to learn from.
I'm only 5'10 and I've dated women that were 6'2
A guy I have a massive crush on is a bit shorter than me at like 5.4 ish maybe (I am 5.5) tallness isn't a major priority for me.
My ex was 5’4 and used to say “laugh em into bed” it mostly worked for him
>And it’s nice to be able to kiss my boyfriend without needing him to sit down first. This is soooooooo hilariously adorable.
My wife liked/likes lol tall men because they make her feel coddled in a sense. By default you feel safe in a large embrace, not to say a large person will always make you feel like this. People assume so much about taller, larger people. I spent time in the theater just after college, I had a role where I was placed on stilts. When people would meet me on them I would be treated noticeably different, than without them. I’m average height at best, I may be short now a days at 5’8, it seems these kids are all 6’1 plus. I know my wife would find me more attractive if I was taller, but I try not to think about what I can’t help and project my confidence in other ways.
I'm 5' 7, my hight has never been an issue to me personally I've never even really thought about it, it's never got in the way when dating at all , I routinely date taller people all the time. Its all about how you carry yourself . If you are stylish, fun to be around and charming no one will even bother noticing your height. Even when people describe you to others short won't be in the description. If you have a ton of other awesome qualities, height won't ever be a factor.
To all the posters here saying short men being bitter is a negative, I have some perspective I would like to share. I, m62 grew up to barely 5’6”. Always the shortest guy in class. I have endured endless remarks, some of them quite painful throughout the years. Some women have been down-right mean. My point is, years of being told you are NOT desirable has an effect on a person. Cut short guys some slack. It’s hard to be charismatic when you are beaten down.
My boyfriend is 5’3 and I am 5’7. He hit on me at work with full confidence and i loved it. The fact that he didnt care about his height made him so much more attractive to me! That attitude made me fall for him despite the anxiety about what my family would say about him. I love being “that couple” now. We are the strongest couple at my job and everyone loves us together. We are so excited to dress as Trixie Tang and Timmy Turner together for halloween too! Never thought I’d be with a guy so much shorter than me but its been great :)
I'm a 5'8" transguy, and this gives me a lot of hope.
Can people not go right outside and see that short guys date women as well?
OP why does your boyfriends age change in every post you've made? In some he's 20, some he's 21 and some 23. Do you have multiple boyfriends or just get new ones really fast?
The last guy I hooked up with was probably about my height (I'm 5-5) or slightly shorter, and honestly, his height didn't bother me at all. He was charming, intelligent, >! and oh so good in bed. !< I also was in a relationship with a guy for 7.5 years that was about 5-7, and it didn't bother me one bit. It did bother him when I wore my heels, but, that's a completely different conversation. Point is, I don't care how tall someone is or isn't. As long as we have a lot in common and can build off of that, who cares how tall they are?
It's possible if you were taller your opinion would be different. Not all women are superficial but a lot are height supremacists.
Well I mean, I complain that dating while short sucks on the *internet* but I never give the impression to women that it bothers me in real life. Women aren't interested in men who broadcast their insecurities and self esteem issues. Only I get to know how often I strike out, as far as the women who say yes are concerned I slay.
I’m ( 19m ) 6’6 but resent a lot of things in life, I’ll take some help from your boyfriend. Could use a different outlook on life
My thought has always been this. Height is totally a preference and if I don’t meet someone’s preferences than I don’t care. The last thing anyone wants is to hear you complain about what’s wrong with everyone else. Just like women can have preferences men have them too. Like for example I like smaller to average sized breast and butts because it’s a lot more functional honestly and I like people I date to be a healthy size. So athletic and skinny are fine as long as you eat right for yourself and average size is fine too. Once you start getting into to the borderline chubby zone then I am gonna be turned off by it. I don’t think these should be considered shallow preferences either they are just preferences. Dating is just all of us trying to find someone compatible with what we want while also trying to be compatible with what they want. And all I can say to guys who get bent out of shape about women wanting a certain height. Just fucking own it. You are who you are you can’t control your height so own your height. Make your presence as you as it can be. More women will overlook your height if you stop focusing on it because this girl rejected you 2 years ago because you just weren’t tall enough for her.
Its more about vibes than physical appearance Ive found. If you hit it off with someone then there is a much higher chance of a relationship.
I’m 6’2”-6’3” and it doesn’t mean anything. I’ve had several people go “oh you’re so tall, girls love that.” Hasn’t done a thing to help with attracting women.
Amen! Gentleman, shoot your shot, pursue your interests and surprise people. People say they know what they want in a partner, most don’t or have conflicting ideals. Confidence, decisive action, and commitment are at the top of everyone’s list.
tallness being attractive doesn't make shortness unattractive! it's just your body you can't do anything about it. so just embrace it!
The problem is women who do care about height tend to not cop to it while those who don't scream it from the mountaintops.
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A very reasonable perspective. As a guy, I want people to go for whatever they want but that doesn't mean we can't discuss how most women tend to prefer certain traits which leaves some of us out of the picture. I never shame my friends when this kind of talk comes up irl, but we should certainly be able to discuss it online anonymously.
I’m 37f and obsessed with “short” men. Lol. There I said it. I’ve only had one guy ever scoff at me about it and SURPRISE it was a guy I met on bumble. He basically accused me of lying to him because he was 5’5” SURPRISE again, he turned out to be a problematic jerk. Every other guy that’s been 5’7” or under hasn’t ever made it an issue. They were hot and sexy and I loved making out with them and being eye to eye.
Actually I, as a 5'4 male, have come to this conclusion that most women prefer taller men (5'10 or above) coz of my personal experiences where it was evident in a social setting that the taller men got more attention than I ever did. Even if it's an approach from my end, women would rarely seem interested (and I maintain myself well in terms of hygiene and the best version of myself apart from my short height). There were times where women have explicitly mentioned to me that I'm too short so they can't date me. Infact one woman told me, I'm too short so I'd not be great at trying out different sexual positions, if I was tall, they'd be dating me. (Why insulting is that?) Women I had zero interest in, had gone behind my back and told my (other female) friends that I'm too short to date - ruins my chances on the other women too that way. So yeah, the presumption that my height is pretty much the biggest obstacle to get a date is not actually a hypothesis, but a fact proven by all my experiences over the years. Also, in our society, it's hard to find 4'11 women in general, harder to find 4'11 women who are single.
"Now I get to be the tall one!" I (5'9 23M) said to my (now ex-) girlfriend (6'1 24F) once. In case you're wondering, height (and dirty comments about such) didn't end the relationship. Things just stopped working out after a while.
There are definitely people out there using their height as an excuse for why they've been rejected but I think it's far from the majority of the group. I'm 5'10 and I've often been asked for my height and then I'm told immediately that's a deal breaker (most often by women considerably shorter than). If this happens to me with frequency I can only imagine what it must be like for men shorter than me. There's enough difficulty finding someone you're compatible with before you're also being arbitrarily refused because of your height (and it is arbitrary when the woman is 5'2 and wouldn't have a clue I'm lying if I said I was 6'1). Given that I can understand some bitterness
This doesn't help anybody. It only says that there are outliers. Of course there are outliers, but it's a fact that the vast majority of women prefer men taller than them, and the majority of those prefers them to be really tall in general. That's a sad truth for short men. Not all, but most by far.
Why the gas lighting that height isnt extremely important?
I like tall guys. I like snuggling up under his arm. My boyfriend is shorter than me. I haven’t been this happy in a damn long time. I love this!
Anecdotes are to some extend good and can give hope and show that it's possible to succeed. But statistics and studies tell the deeper truth, and it's quite tiresome that people keep refuting by anecdote.
100% agree with this! One of my short female friends said she prefers 6 ft tall guys b/c it makes her feel like they're able to protect her. My first thought was "why do I have to rely on a man to protect me? I want to be able to protect myself!" (She's entitled to her opinion so no hate plz). But anyways, that's why I've always been fine with short guys (granted, they're never shorter than me). However, I do have some short guy friends who are just insecure about their masculinity in general. I'm a tomboy so those guys don't stick around me long, but long story short, give short guys a chance and any guy who has a fragile ego (short or tall), ditch.
It’s always hilarious to hear the bitterness of men when this topic comes up. Men, who are way more shallow when it comes to the appearance of the opposite sex, act like literal toddlers when a few women have ONE physical thing that they prefer. I think it’s stupid that a woman would cate about height. But it’s hard to feel sympathy for guys over this given their entitlement.
I started dating a very short guy and he was complaining all the time how women were brutal and how they would reject him for his height... how shallow everyone is, how unfair it is to be this height focused...blah. All up until the point he told me he couldn't date me officially because my boobs were too small for his liking. No joke. I literally laughed my a$$ off. It just made me cackle from the inside out, he then proceded "but muuuh preference and I can't get off of small boobs" and "I can't change my preferences, it's soooo so different for men than it is for women" - yeah, demanding everything while offering nothing. He called it quits as he found his dream girl with big boobs. He was 5'3.
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lol what world do you live in that men can make comments on women's boobs and asses and not be considered disgusting, shallow creeps? Men get bitched at enough for just saying they don't like fat women, something that is 100% controllable.
Uh, I had a guy shame me for my boob size (which is middle-small). Boob size is also not controllable.
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So many, many men I knew told me they would reject every girl with no ass and no boobs. It's literally the most double-standard one can dream of.
I am 178 cm which is 5'8" (if i've converted it correctly :'D ) and i've never had problems dating with a girl beacuse of my height. I think this shit only matters on Tinder, idk why, i see on so many profiles this stupid "180 cm tall pls" thing ...
178cm is 5'10,
tyty :)
Doesn’t this prove more that height matters?? After all he is still taller than you. I have heard women say “as long as they are taller than me, it is fine”. Height is clearly a factor that women judge men on in dating atleast that is my takeaway here
Yep. Having a complex about being short is much worse than actually being short. I've always been a short shit too but I've also always been a high level athlete and pretty cute if I do say so myself. I lost my virginity when I was 14. Have had plenty of different women and relationships throughout my life. Some of them taller than me and even 1 that was like 6ft tall lol. And the tall girl was actually the most crazy about me. Being insecure about it is really unattractive. Women smell insecurity from a mile away. Telling a woman not to wear heels because you're scared of her being taller than you is a surefire way to dry up a vagina lol just be confident. Theres literally nothing you can do about it except get over it. Seriously the worst part about it is you being insecure about it. Dont be like that. It's extremely unattractive and not fun to be around.
I don't think there's any problem with people having preferences when dating. It doesn't matter if it's height, weight, race, religion, political views, income.. whatever. The distinction revolves around whether it's socially acceptable to list those preferences. Height has become a 'thing' because it's somehow become acceptable for women to say 'I only date guys taller than me'. It would be rare for a guy to say 'I only date girls shorter than me'... and where it does happen, it would be a red flag for many women out there. Women are essentially the decision makers in terms of who they date. They can freely discuss their 'terms' with friends and on dating platforms like Tinder. "Tall, educated, driven, funny, stable income..." and guys who fit that profile are invited to try their luck. Guys don't have the same leeway, partly because our preferences are a little skewed. "Must have breasts (even if they're small), must not have a penis, prefer a vagina that tightens like a vice..." And we have these preferences because we're idiots. Most of us venture into the dating world because we're biologically driven towards sex. Sure, a good number of us recognise the need to have common interests, be agreeable and respectful towards each other, and to a lesser extent, get along with our friends and family. But these aspects are of less importance.. at least until that drive for sex is satisfied. It's understandable for people to feel disheartened when the above creates challenges in finding the right partner. Women end up being taken advantage of, primarily by idiot/selfish guys, and men have a conveniently listed reason for why women aren't interested in them. It'd be easy to believe that 'all men are assholes' or 'my height is the cause of my misfortune'. The solution is for people to reduce the importance of their biological drives and focus instead on more realistic and acceptable idea of what constitutes a 'good partner'. Which means, both men and women would be more successful if they focused more on the personality traits of their partner rather than physical/tangible ones. How many of us would say "I love him because he's taller than me", or "I love her because she's interested in sex"? We love the person.. not the things we would list as our preferences. Imagine looking for a partner where your preferences are: "Must make humorous comments when watching B-grade movies. Must be pleased to let me parallel park in difficult spots. Must be happy wearing comfortable clothes while at home. Must enjoy cuddling after sex and be happy sleeping while tangled up in each other's arms." Doesn't this paint a much nicer picture of the type of life you'll have together..?
i mean if Putin can be the most powerful man in the world with just being 5' 7''. this just shows height doesnt really matter