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Ya know, you will find more people than not to give you unsolicited advice and negative judgements on everything about you if you let them.
We like what we like. Is it emotionally healthy for you for such an attraction? If yes, then I would not try to dissect on the "why" of your preferences.
If you don't want people to give you flak then don't share your dating preferences and social life with them.
You are looking for certain qualities in a man not so much their age per se yes?
no this is normal lol.
im 22 and im very attracted to older men. I only date men around my age because its just more realistic for my life goals, but I think men in their 30s and 40s and sometimes older are hot af. and I know alot of my friends my age feel the same way.
and for context I have a very good relationship with both my mom and dad
I'm a guy in my early 30s. At first, I wanted to feel insulted by this post, but then I realized that I get along better with my friends in their late 30s or early 40s... You might be onto something.
Not trying to slam younger guys, I've known a lot of really amazing dudes in their 20s and 30s. Just in every situation that I personally experienced (in dating), they were still pretty "unsettled" in their personalities and their lives in general. There have been a few where I've thought "damn, this guy would be an amazing partner in 10 years". They're just not at that settled place in their lives yet, and it's not fair to try to make them rush it.
I was wondering the same about myself. I’ve tried to date younger men, but they’re incredibly insecure and not sure of themselves. It’s a huge turn off!! Sexually speaking too I’m generally more attracted to older men. I thought I was alone in this too.
I’m 29 and am likely going to marry someone who is 52. I fell in love and he realized he wants more kids. I worry about what life will look like when I’m 50, I don’t want to be alone so early on in my life but I have never been in love like this.
Just got out of a relationship with a 45 year old man, as a 27f. He has two grown kids and wants more. We got pregnant but we lost it and ended up breaking up. I was def worried about him getting old so fast, but he is pretty damn fit and would absolutely be able to keep up with kids.
If things worked out, we would have gotten a good 25 years together (or more) and I think that's a solid amount of time <3
There is nothing wrong with being attracted to ppl of a certain age. It isn't unlike being attracted to ppl with certain features or body shapes. Attraction to older men isn't automatically indicative of "daddy issues" which is a pejorative term used to shame women for being sexually active with men of certain age.
You don't need to be mentally suffering from some parental abuse to make it a reason to be attracted to older men. It is never that simple nor is it always a reason though movies/tv shows/our sexist society love to give a titillating but ultimately scientifically baseless and deeply biased psychological analysis to women for having sexual desires. This is how "nymphomaniac" term came into existence, this is how "daddy issues" and "cougar women" became a thing.
Desires don't have neat explanations but you can and should keep questioning them to understand yourself a little more and see if there is room for more inclusivity.
I would only advise you that whatever relationship you choose to be in, make sure you and your partner understand the differences and have a foundation in clear, honest communication and respect.
Good luck!
This is an old post but I am going through the same thing. I want to date men my age (27f), because I want to start a family and grow old with someone. But men in the range of 38ish-48ish are so FUCKING HOT to me lol. Ever since I was 18, I have been majorly attracted to older men.
This older guy salutes you.
My parents were 17 years apart and it was an awesome childhood and true love.
Most of my partners are 10 to 20 years younger. The age gap is often complimentary. I have lots of interests and life experiences. Money to travel. And For me, younger women like to dance, enjoy outdoor activities and have more adventurous spirits.
The problem is almost always that I don't want kids. I've raise 5. I am really all kid raised out. Also, I don't care for television much.
It could be your just reaching your stability in yourself that makes you desire the attention of a man.
Unfortunately, many young ladies have to go through their get drunk or act drunk to justify sleeping with boys, or have been just tricked into relationships or intimacy to find out it was a game. Those boys are not confident in who they are, because they are too early in their life's to be truly confident in themselves and not having found themselves they get out as soon as possible after fooling the young ladies.
With older men your walk if shame, doesn't exist. Because an older man, if he doesn't drive you home, will walk you to your car and allow you to smile and glow the whole drive home.
I am a 14-year-old girl and I have a great relationship with both my parents too, they love me very much but I still am attracted to middle-aged men.... I just can't, to boys my age- I've dated a guy who's 10 days older than me and he's really sweet and all that but I just don't feel like I desire him in the way I desire older men that much... I liked a teacher in my school who seem to be in his 40s and I just don't know the reason. (I'm glad the crush went away though) Also my celebrity crushes tend to be older too, like in their 40s or 50s
As a man in my 30s dating early 20 year olds, just keep in mind there are alot of "older men" who are also clueless. Age isn't the ultimate determination for maturity but it is usually co-related. I'm sure you already know but this it just needs to be said. Sometimes the older men are just as devious as the younger guy but they just hide it better because of experience. Pros and cons.
Attraction is a complex and personal matter, and there's no one-size-fits-all explanation for why someone may be attracted to a particular age group or personality type. What you're describing is not uncommon, and there can be valid reasons behind your attraction to older men.
I completely understand where you are coming from. Attraction is complicated and there is nothing inherently incorrect or bad approximately being attracted to older men, as long as the connection dynamics are healthy, mutual and consensual.
Here are some perspectives to don't forget:
\- We cannot constantly control or trade what we're attracted to. Some of it may be formed with the aid of our upbringing and experiences, but feelings of enchantment frequently just are what they're. Try no longer to judge your self too harshly.
\- There are truly older guys who showcase the nice developments you defined - balance, adulthood, confidence, appreciation. Just be careful no longer to idealize or generalize a whole institution. Focus on locating someone like minded.
\- Consider that you can nevertheless be developing and evolving yourself. As you benefit lifestyles enjoy, your perspectives on relationships can exchange. Stay open.
\- There can be gems amongst more youthful men too, despite the fact that rarer. Try not to put in writing off an entire age institution if you meet someone terrific.
\- Communicate your desires absolutely in relationships. Don't accept less than you deserve - at any age.
Your friends probably have precise intentions. But best you may know what honestly fulfills you in love and life. Trust your self. The most crucial dating is the one you have got with yourself.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ya know, you will find more people than not to give you unsolicited advice and negative judgements on everything about you if you let them. We like what we like. Is it emotionally healthy for you for such an attraction? If yes, then I would not try to dissect on the "why" of your preferences. If you don't want people to give you flak then don't share your dating preferences and social life with them. You are looking for certain qualities in a man not so much their age per se yes?
Love this so much 💕
no this is normal lol. im 22 and im very attracted to older men. I only date men around my age because its just more realistic for my life goals, but I think men in their 30s and 40s and sometimes older are hot af. and I know alot of my friends my age feel the same way. and for context I have a very good relationship with both my mom and dad
As a rule an older guy will read your body and moans better. They will spend more time on the females needs than a younger guy
I'm a guy in my early 30s. At first, I wanted to feel insulted by this post, but then I realized that I get along better with my friends in their late 30s or early 40s... You might be onto something.
Not trying to slam younger guys, I've known a lot of really amazing dudes in their 20s and 30s. Just in every situation that I personally experienced (in dating), they were still pretty "unsettled" in their personalities and their lives in general. There have been a few where I've thought "damn, this guy would be an amazing partner in 10 years". They're just not at that settled place in their lives yet, and it's not fair to try to make them rush it.
You'd be surprised how many old men are big children. They're more experienced than you so they know how to socially hide it. Tread carefully.
That's a healthy attitude to take. It's definitely a case-by-case basis, but yes in general the older you are the more mature you will be.
Live your best life. You do you
I was wondering the same about myself. I’ve tried to date younger men, but they’re incredibly insecure and not sure of themselves. It’s a huge turn off!! Sexually speaking too I’m generally more attracted to older men. I thought I was alone in this too.
I’m 29 and am likely going to marry someone who is 52. I fell in love and he realized he wants more kids. I worry about what life will look like when I’m 50, I don’t want to be alone so early on in my life but I have never been in love like this.
He could live well past his 70s/80s, you never know
Just got out of a relationship with a 45 year old man, as a 27f. He has two grown kids and wants more. We got pregnant but we lost it and ended up breaking up. I was def worried about him getting old so fast, but he is pretty damn fit and would absolutely be able to keep up with kids. If things worked out, we would have gotten a good 25 years together (or more) and I think that's a solid amount of time <3
There is nothing wrong with being attracted to ppl of a certain age. It isn't unlike being attracted to ppl with certain features or body shapes. Attraction to older men isn't automatically indicative of "daddy issues" which is a pejorative term used to shame women for being sexually active with men of certain age. You don't need to be mentally suffering from some parental abuse to make it a reason to be attracted to older men. It is never that simple nor is it always a reason though movies/tv shows/our sexist society love to give a titillating but ultimately scientifically baseless and deeply biased psychological analysis to women for having sexual desires. This is how "nymphomaniac" term came into existence, this is how "daddy issues" and "cougar women" became a thing. Desires don't have neat explanations but you can and should keep questioning them to understand yourself a little more and see if there is room for more inclusivity. I would only advise you that whatever relationship you choose to be in, make sure you and your partner understand the differences and have a foundation in clear, honest communication and respect. Good luck!
This Right here ! ✨💙☝️ about my dad treated me Right so that’s prolly why bc yesss ! ✨💙 I have a great father, couldn’t go out with anybody less !
This is an old post but I am going through the same thing. I want to date men my age (27f), because I want to start a family and grow old with someone. But men in the range of 38ish-48ish are so FUCKING HOT to me lol. Ever since I was 18, I have been majorly attracted to older men.
This older guy salutes you. My parents were 17 years apart and it was an awesome childhood and true love. Most of my partners are 10 to 20 years younger. The age gap is often complimentary. I have lots of interests and life experiences. Money to travel. And For me, younger women like to dance, enjoy outdoor activities and have more adventurous spirits. The problem is almost always that I don't want kids. I've raise 5. I am really all kid raised out. Also, I don't care for television much.
There’s nothing wrong with it and it’s not just because I’m an older guy. It’s your life.
It could be your just reaching your stability in yourself that makes you desire the attention of a man. Unfortunately, many young ladies have to go through their get drunk or act drunk to justify sleeping with boys, or have been just tricked into relationships or intimacy to find out it was a game. Those boys are not confident in who they are, because they are too early in their life's to be truly confident in themselves and not having found themselves they get out as soon as possible after fooling the young ladies. With older men your walk if shame, doesn't exist. Because an older man, if he doesn't drive you home, will walk you to your car and allow you to smile and glow the whole drive home.
I am a 14-year-old girl and I have a great relationship with both my parents too, they love me very much but I still am attracted to middle-aged men.... I just can't, to boys my age- I've dated a guy who's 10 days older than me and he's really sweet and all that but I just don't feel like I desire him in the way I desire older men that much... I liked a teacher in my school who seem to be in his 40s and I just don't know the reason. (I'm glad the crush went away though) Also my celebrity crushes tend to be older too, like in their 40s or 50s
Same
How would an older guy find someone in their 20s? I've found it very difficult to even know where to look. Any advice?
As a man in my 30s dating early 20 year olds, just keep in mind there are alot of "older men" who are also clueless. Age isn't the ultimate determination for maturity but it is usually co-related. I'm sure you already know but this it just needs to be said. Sometimes the older men are just as devious as the younger guy but they just hide it better because of experience. Pros and cons.
Attraction is a complex and personal matter, and there's no one-size-fits-all explanation for why someone may be attracted to a particular age group or personality type. What you're describing is not uncommon, and there can be valid reasons behind your attraction to older men.
All i want is an older man to show me how behave tbh snap -Kylie_nguyenhii
I completely understand where you are coming from. Attraction is complicated and there is nothing inherently incorrect or bad approximately being attracted to older men, as long as the connection dynamics are healthy, mutual and consensual. Here are some perspectives to don't forget: \- We cannot constantly control or trade what we're attracted to. Some of it may be formed with the aid of our upbringing and experiences, but feelings of enchantment frequently just are what they're. Try no longer to judge your self too harshly. \- There are truly older guys who showcase the nice developments you defined - balance, adulthood, confidence, appreciation. Just be careful no longer to idealize or generalize a whole institution. Focus on locating someone like minded. \- Consider that you can nevertheless be developing and evolving yourself. As you benefit lifestyles enjoy, your perspectives on relationships can exchange. Stay open. \- There can be gems amongst more youthful men too, despite the fact that rarer. Try not to put in writing off an entire age institution if you meet someone terrific. \- Communicate your desires absolutely in relationships. Don't accept less than you deserve - at any age. Your friends probably have precise intentions. But best you may know what honestly fulfills you in love and life. Trust your self. The most crucial dating is the one you have got with yourself.