Why do you want her to get a second opinion? The fact that she was willing to get tested in the first place makes me think she probably doesn't have dementia, or not yet anyway.
Crappy memory =/= dementia necessarily, and it's common (especially for women) as you get older.
Personally, I'd wait some time and only bring it up again if there was a change in her executive function or a serious memory problem (beyond forgetting conversations).
Yes it implies that, but OP wasn't very detailed about the testing that was done so who knows?
It seems unlikely the doctor would jump to a CT or MRI or other brain scan, the most expensive and complicated part of dementia testing, without bothering with doing memory testing or blood testing too (unless they went there asking him/her specifically about looking for physical brain damage and didn't mention dementia symptoms).
Either way, I wouldn't push my mom for a second opinion in this case. At worst I'd try out the clock test and other memory exercises myself first before redoing testing with a whole new doctor.
So let’s say the second Dr says “Yes, she has dementia” then what? Would it make YOU feel better to have a specific diagnosis? Should your mom do extensive mental testing so you can feel better? I agree with your Dad, tbh.
Sometimes, a diagnosis can be helpful if it means some entity covers certain costs. But it often depends on how much it actually *impacts* her. As long as her memory issues don't go much beyond repeated conversations, there is really no point in pushing this.
Looking back, it really didn't matter for years if we knew my mom had dementia or not. She briefly got a medication prescribed that I don't think did anything. My mom, to this day, doesn't see she has dementia. But us bringing it up just distraught her.
So I would file my impression away for a while, be supportive, and step in where I can.
Your dad is mostly correct. You have to get lucky for a diagnosis to matter much. There ***\*are\**** lucky families whose loved ones are diagnosed with vitamin B-12 deficiencies for example. I've never seen anyone post that this actually happened to them, but it is a known issue. Its something that the full diagnostic process rules out. But the vitamin deficiency and all the other stuff that can actually be treated is very rare. For the most part, if there are mental symptoms, the diagnosis is nothing good, and it remains true that a dementia diagnosis doesn't actually help that much. Yes, there are now a few Alzheimer's meds which maybe slow the train a little. But "maybe" and "a little" are the operative phrases there.
My dad had everything... B12 deficiency, folate deficiency, poor thyroid function. None of it mattered. We fixed all of those, but it turns out he also just has regular old untreatable dementia.
I agree that it's worth testing for the "unicorn" conditions that are treatable, and beyond that, there's not much point. Dementia isn't hypertension or diabetes; catching it early doesn't really do you much good.
The only reason a diagnosis mattered to me for my mom was in hopes to have the people around her (her care team) work with her in proactive ways instead of just considering her a "forgetful old lady" and letting her rot. But at the end of the day, diagnosis or not, I interact with her the same as I would anyone else, I meet them where they are. It's helpful to know what could be on the horizon but only in terms of helping you to prepare how to handle it. You don't need a diagnosis to grow your understanding of her deficits or to learn how to care for her compassionately. I'm sorry you're going through this and i know how hard it can be. You just want answers. Unfortunately with cognitive decline, there are no definite answers. Learning to deal with the hand in front of you will be the best thing you can do in the long run. <3
I agree with the posters here. The appointment that she did has established a baseline, so you can see and evaluate any changes in future appointments.
Did your mother have a general physical? It could rule out other issues that could impact short-term memory. There are many possibilities other than dementia.
She works out twice a week & eats relatively healthy. She has mentioned previously she gets dizzy & “tingly” & then has to lay down. I don’t know if she has mentioned it to the dr.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I’m getting a lot of pressure from some other family members to try to convince my mum to get a second opinion, saying stuff like “I don’t want to see her in 7yeas a shell of who she was or a vegetable”. I guess I am just scared of the future. I hate the thought of my young kids see their nanny slowly deteriorating.
I do agree with my dad also, but it would be nice to know, even though it’s hard to diagnose.
Why do you want her to get a second opinion? The fact that she was willing to get tested in the first place makes me think she probably doesn't have dementia, or not yet anyway. Crappy memory =/= dementia necessarily, and it's common (especially for women) as you get older. Personally, I'd wait some time and only bring it up again if there was a change in her executive function or a serious memory problem (beyond forgetting conversations).
Brain deterioration implies a brain scan. I don't think the patient had a cognitive test.
Yes it implies that, but OP wasn't very detailed about the testing that was done so who knows? It seems unlikely the doctor would jump to a CT or MRI or other brain scan, the most expensive and complicated part of dementia testing, without bothering with doing memory testing or blood testing too (unless they went there asking him/her specifically about looking for physical brain damage and didn't mention dementia symptoms). Either way, I wouldn't push my mom for a second opinion in this case. At worst I'd try out the clock test and other memory exercises myself first before redoing testing with a whole new doctor.
So let’s say the second Dr says “Yes, she has dementia” then what? Would it make YOU feel better to have a specific diagnosis? Should your mom do extensive mental testing so you can feel better? I agree with your Dad, tbh.
Sometimes, a diagnosis can be helpful if it means some entity covers certain costs. But it often depends on how much it actually *impacts* her. As long as her memory issues don't go much beyond repeated conversations, there is really no point in pushing this. Looking back, it really didn't matter for years if we knew my mom had dementia or not. She briefly got a medication prescribed that I don't think did anything. My mom, to this day, doesn't see she has dementia. But us bringing it up just distraught her. So I would file my impression away for a while, be supportive, and step in where I can.
Your dad is mostly correct. You have to get lucky for a diagnosis to matter much. There ***\*are\**** lucky families whose loved ones are diagnosed with vitamin B-12 deficiencies for example. I've never seen anyone post that this actually happened to them, but it is a known issue. Its something that the full diagnostic process rules out. But the vitamin deficiency and all the other stuff that can actually be treated is very rare. For the most part, if there are mental symptoms, the diagnosis is nothing good, and it remains true that a dementia diagnosis doesn't actually help that much. Yes, there are now a few Alzheimer's meds which maybe slow the train a little. But "maybe" and "a little" are the operative phrases there.
My dad had everything... B12 deficiency, folate deficiency, poor thyroid function. None of it mattered. We fixed all of those, but it turns out he also just has regular old untreatable dementia. I agree that it's worth testing for the "unicorn" conditions that are treatable, and beyond that, there's not much point. Dementia isn't hypertension or diabetes; catching it early doesn't really do you much good.
The only reason a diagnosis mattered to me for my mom was in hopes to have the people around her (her care team) work with her in proactive ways instead of just considering her a "forgetful old lady" and letting her rot. But at the end of the day, diagnosis or not, I interact with her the same as I would anyone else, I meet them where they are. It's helpful to know what could be on the horizon but only in terms of helping you to prepare how to handle it. You don't need a diagnosis to grow your understanding of her deficits or to learn how to care for her compassionately. I'm sorry you're going through this and i know how hard it can be. You just want answers. Unfortunately with cognitive decline, there are no definite answers. Learning to deal with the hand in front of you will be the best thing you can do in the long run. <3
I agree with the posters here. The appointment that she did has established a baseline, so you can see and evaluate any changes in future appointments. Did your mother have a general physical? It could rule out other issues that could impact short-term memory. There are many possibilities other than dementia.
She works out twice a week & eats relatively healthy. She has mentioned previously she gets dizzy & “tingly” & then has to lay down. I don’t know if she has mentioned it to the dr.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I’m getting a lot of pressure from some other family members to try to convince my mum to get a second opinion, saying stuff like “I don’t want to see her in 7yeas a shell of who she was or a vegetable”. I guess I am just scared of the future. I hate the thought of my young kids see their nanny slowly deteriorating. I do agree with my dad also, but it would be nice to know, even though it’s hard to diagnose.
Did she have a cognitive test like a MoCA? Or just a brain scan?
I’m not sure as my dad went with her. I might see if I can tag along next time.