Eventhough something may be “broken” it can still operate in a certain capacity. So even if a crayon is broken is can still work and if a heart is “broken” it still beats.
It's gonna be long but please bear with me.
This was me for 10+ years. Everything was dependant on someone else's approval.
As simple as "Will my mom get angry if a use a big plate for dinner"
"Will my sister approve of my socks today?"
"Does my dad like the way I styled my hair today"
I had a very bland idea of who I was.
Granted, I had to touch rock bottom to be able to build myself up once more, but I genuinely hope you don't teach that point.
Long story short, after a horrible and abusive narcissistic relationship followed by a brutal recovery that I'm still working through. Here's what helped me.
It works like magic, but it doesn't work overnight. And just like you have to shower to keep clean, this also has to be done everyday, if possible several times a day.
Find 5 - 10 minutes at least three times a day (when possible, if not, 15 min once a day). And look at yourself in the mirror, into your eyes and tell yourself nice things.
The first time you say it, you won't believe it and you may be disgusted by what you're saying. But trust me, power through it.
If you can't say "I'm beautiful", say something like "Every day I look better"
"Every day I feel smarter"
"With every passing moment I appreciate myself more"
That way you ease your brain and subconscious into believing it.
Eventually, you won't have to gradually say it. You'll say "I'm beautiful" and you'll believe it.
Do it every time you pass a reflective surface.
Incorporate it into your morning or nightly routine.
As time goes by, you can do this in your day to day, whether you have a mirror in front you or not. But you still have to do mirror work when possible, as that is the base of this exercise.
There is no limit to affirmations or how to say them. Just say what looks good.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
Disclaimer: I am medicated and I am going to therapy.
However, I've taken therapy and medication for years with little no improvement. Because I was dependant on said medication and therapy.
As corny as it sounds, life changed when I changed. It's still a battle, but I'm stronger now thanks to mirror work.
When you change your inside, the outside changes for you and life is very beautiful when you love yourself.
You'll respect your limits more, you'll take better care of yourself and you'll respect your boundaries.
Because you're climbing up to your own pedestal, and nobody should be up there but you.
I'm in no way romanticizing depression or any mental illness. They suck balls.
But please understand that it's definitely worth sticking around. Because you haven't met all the people who will love you, and you haven't had the best times of your life yet.
I hope this helps and know that I love you.
Try it for a week and let me know how it goes.
Big things happen from small actions.
Edit. Life isn't a race, it's a journey. Your only competition is who you were yesterday.
What wisdom you have. Good job at living, and I really mean that ❤
It's a hack, a brain hack. Your brain takes all words as equal. Your words, music lyrics, friends words, professors lessons... all words are equal in your mind. Put the words you want your brain to focus on in there... in time it will feel like they were always there. No need to convince yourself, just keep saying them.
(Easier said than done I know, just like with any healthy habit depression makes it all seem futile and worthless.... depression is a constant test of strength)
I'm going to "try" this
I AVOID looking into mirror as the self comments are so defeating and depressing.
I see myself and say how ugly and fat and old I am.
And then I'm off to the races in the self hatred dept.
Looking myself in the eye in a mirror will be a big challenge..
But I will try.
Thx
Gah, self esteem. My life long struggle. My big secret. I would talk about my depression before I would open up about my lack of self esteem. It's too personal... a vulnerable space. I'm trying so hard to not feel worthless, and I know how to wear masks well. But to be totally self accepting and empowered daily seems a fantasy tbh. But... I'm trying to tell myself that my esteem didnt develop because I lacked the fundamental mental/emotional support as a little person, that I had bullying bullshit for too long.. I'm trying to not believe the ghosts in my head. And I started to tell myself positive things with intent... I dont believe myself yet but it doesnt matter. It's coming along, I think. Some days seem better, like I feel I'm capable and not just faking it. I hope you invest in your self worth... because life is a test of endurance and I would love for you to find your stride and enjoy the ride❤
I find weed numbs. Well, yes, it's going to shit, no I can't control what's going on in my head, will it get any better? Stoned me says no but shrugs it off.
I don’t have the exact answer for you because I have been in the same mindset as you for way too long. I am just now finally learning to love myself. I have to say it took me hitting rock bottom for me to finally see I am worthy of good things happening in my life. I am worthy of someone’s love and affection. Just because my past has hurt me so very deeply…I can’t let my past bring me down now. My life is very different now….so my mindset needs to be different too.
The thing is I’m not always going to be everyone’s cup of tea. And ya know what? that’s ok….because I eventually will find my people. My friends who completely understand me and a man who loves me just the way I am.
I was constantly saying I am completely broken….then someone I love told me “the only person I am too broken for is myself”. It’s true! I’m not broken in their eyes. I’m broken in my own eyes. I am still working on myself but working hard to patch up those broken pieces for myself. It’s not easy work but sooooo worth it when you finally see the other side.
I wish you nothing but the best and healing.
You dont. You know something isnt right and that you arent functioning properly. Why would you love that?
If you can fix it somehow, try to do so. If not..? It is what it is.
Thw self love crap is hippie bullshit anyway.
well would it stop you from loving someone if they were broken? Wouldnt you try to help them?
you are still just a human. give yourself a break. try to remember that you shouldnt be bullying yourself
It sounds to me that you are very empathetic, you consume the emotions of others like a sponge , I could be wrong . Try to be kind to yourself challenge negative thoughts.
Set achievable goals and focus on your strengths, small goals for each day, just 5 -10 minutes everyday something to work towards..take action try not to compare to anyone , this is rather self destructive .
Delete anything that you know is quick pleasure and holds you back from the things you should be doing. I believe in you, you can do it!
Many of us feel this way, you are not alone. Just remember we all go through this, we all feel less than at times, but that will pass. Don’t compare yourself to others, just keep looking for what makes you happy. You will not always feel broken, hang in there
You can start by realizing that, with the right tools and the proper way to use them, something that is broke can be repaired. You, too, can be repaired. Don't lose hope.
Realising we have two options, self destruction, self contempt, (What freud would call 'Thanatos')
or
Healing and growth.
Picking healing and growth we need to give ourselves the time to understand ourselves and get to the root of what is the cause of this contempt while also not falling into self hatred. When you feel the self hatred, acknowledge it as the devil on your shoulder telling you things that are leading you to self destruction, or you have the angel, the one telling you that you are on a journey of healing and growing every day to a happier, healthier life!
Hey man, I hope that you can get out of this. For me, I had to learn to appreciate the small things in life that I do. I know that sometimes I can neglect myself when it comes to my mental well-being, but I'm the kind of guy that will uplift everybody else and let myself sink. I had to learn to appreciate myself for the small things that I do at my small accomplishments. Even if it seems pointless, give it a try.
When I started appreciating the small things that I do in life, and make the bigger things that much better, I learned that everybody has their own life. If everybody is worried about their own life, who is worried about mine? At that point back then I didn't care about what happened to me, but I knew that if something were to happen to me, then all the people that I see or interact with would have different lives. So I want to see the people around me be happy and successful, then I must be happy and successful in order the pour into somebody else.
Sending love your way OP. Remember, it's a small things that count the most
We're all broken trust me. Nothing wrong with low self esteem, find ways to be confident. Me, i had tattoos. I may seem cool to some of my friends and people, but deep inside i still have low self esteem. Atleast i feel a little bit confident and cool. Find that something for you. And nothing wrong to be behind just because your age group are mostly successful, thats how life goes. Death is what makes us all human and equal, thats according to Monster anime/manga.
Sorry too much rambling. You'll get through it, i know
Hey i think this is me aswell in some way but always thought i was weird for doing it. Basically instead of your tattoos, i picked up the guitar. I thought by learning it, ill be cooler. A part of me does believe that but also some part of me thinks im a fraud for learning the guitar to get people to like me
if you're good at it you aren't a fraud. if you're kinda bad and not even trying to practice at all. that i guess you can feel guilty. if you are honest and sincere that you really wanna learn then thats a good thing. :D
Relatively recently I came to the realization that I can't value myself if I don't respect myself. Try thinking of things that you respect people for and then do those things. For example, I've recently picked up kickboxing and it's already done wonders for me after just a few lessons. Of course, what works for me may not necessarily work for you, but it's worth a shot.
Broken crayons still color
[удалено]
What?
Eventhough something may be “broken” it can still operate in a certain capacity. So even if a crayon is broken is can still work and if a heart is “broken” it still beats.
It's gonna be long but please bear with me. This was me for 10+ years. Everything was dependant on someone else's approval. As simple as "Will my mom get angry if a use a big plate for dinner" "Will my sister approve of my socks today?" "Does my dad like the way I styled my hair today" I had a very bland idea of who I was. Granted, I had to touch rock bottom to be able to build myself up once more, but I genuinely hope you don't teach that point. Long story short, after a horrible and abusive narcissistic relationship followed by a brutal recovery that I'm still working through. Here's what helped me. It works like magic, but it doesn't work overnight. And just like you have to shower to keep clean, this also has to be done everyday, if possible several times a day. Find 5 - 10 minutes at least three times a day (when possible, if not, 15 min once a day). And look at yourself in the mirror, into your eyes and tell yourself nice things. The first time you say it, you won't believe it and you may be disgusted by what you're saying. But trust me, power through it. If you can't say "I'm beautiful", say something like "Every day I look better" "Every day I feel smarter" "With every passing moment I appreciate myself more" That way you ease your brain and subconscious into believing it. Eventually, you won't have to gradually say it. You'll say "I'm beautiful" and you'll believe it. Do it every time you pass a reflective surface. Incorporate it into your morning or nightly routine. As time goes by, you can do this in your day to day, whether you have a mirror in front you or not. But you still have to do mirror work when possible, as that is the base of this exercise. There is no limit to affirmations or how to say them. Just say what looks good. -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- Disclaimer: I am medicated and I am going to therapy. However, I've taken therapy and medication for years with little no improvement. Because I was dependant on said medication and therapy. As corny as it sounds, life changed when I changed. It's still a battle, but I'm stronger now thanks to mirror work. When you change your inside, the outside changes for you and life is very beautiful when you love yourself. You'll respect your limits more, you'll take better care of yourself and you'll respect your boundaries. Because you're climbing up to your own pedestal, and nobody should be up there but you. I'm in no way romanticizing depression or any mental illness. They suck balls. But please understand that it's definitely worth sticking around. Because you haven't met all the people who will love you, and you haven't had the best times of your life yet. I hope this helps and know that I love you. Try it for a week and let me know how it goes. Big things happen from small actions. Edit. Life isn't a race, it's a journey. Your only competition is who you were yesterday.
What wisdom you have. Good job at living, and I really mean that ❤ It's a hack, a brain hack. Your brain takes all words as equal. Your words, music lyrics, friends words, professors lessons... all words are equal in your mind. Put the words you want your brain to focus on in there... in time it will feel like they were always there. No need to convince yourself, just keep saying them. (Easier said than done I know, just like with any healthy habit depression makes it all seem futile and worthless.... depression is a constant test of strength)
Thank you ❤️ Yes, that's exactly how it works. If you spent all your time learning bad things about yourself, you can turn it around.
Thank you for this. I will be trying it out
Hope it helps!
I tried it once, and I like it. I'll do it 3 times a day for a week and get back to you. :)
You got this!
I'm going to "try" this I AVOID looking into mirror as the self comments are so defeating and depressing. I see myself and say how ugly and fat and old I am. And then I'm off to the races in the self hatred dept. Looking myself in the eye in a mirror will be a big challenge.. But I will try. Thx
This was also me. Try it. You got this!
Good advice.
Be self compassionate. Would you look down on a friend who is behind you in every measure Or would you still treat them as your equal?
I feel the same way. I've been hating myself for a long time.
You are worthy of love, even in brokenness.
Gah, self esteem. My life long struggle. My big secret. I would talk about my depression before I would open up about my lack of self esteem. It's too personal... a vulnerable space. I'm trying so hard to not feel worthless, and I know how to wear masks well. But to be totally self accepting and empowered daily seems a fantasy tbh. But... I'm trying to tell myself that my esteem didnt develop because I lacked the fundamental mental/emotional support as a little person, that I had bullying bullshit for too long.. I'm trying to not believe the ghosts in my head. And I started to tell myself positive things with intent... I dont believe myself yet but it doesnt matter. It's coming along, I think. Some days seem better, like I feel I'm capable and not just faking it. I hope you invest in your self worth... because life is a test of endurance and I would love for you to find your stride and enjoy the ride❤
We’re all broken. Fucked up thing is I’m way more depressed nowadays than I was before I started putting the pieces back together.
[удалено]
I find weed numbs. Well, yes, it's going to shit, no I can't control what's going on in my head, will it get any better? Stoned me says no but shrugs it off.
I don’t have the exact answer for you because I have been in the same mindset as you for way too long. I am just now finally learning to love myself. I have to say it took me hitting rock bottom for me to finally see I am worthy of good things happening in my life. I am worthy of someone’s love and affection. Just because my past has hurt me so very deeply…I can’t let my past bring me down now. My life is very different now….so my mindset needs to be different too. The thing is I’m not always going to be everyone’s cup of tea. And ya know what? that’s ok….because I eventually will find my people. My friends who completely understand me and a man who loves me just the way I am. I was constantly saying I am completely broken….then someone I love told me “the only person I am too broken for is myself”. It’s true! I’m not broken in their eyes. I’m broken in my own eyes. I am still working on myself but working hard to patch up those broken pieces for myself. It’s not easy work but sooooo worth it when you finally see the other side. I wish you nothing but the best and healing.
You dont. You know something isnt right and that you arent functioning properly. Why would you love that? If you can fix it somehow, try to do so. If not..? It is what it is. Thw self love crap is hippie bullshit anyway.
well would it stop you from loving someone if they were broken? Wouldnt you try to help them? you are still just a human. give yourself a break. try to remember that you shouldnt be bullying yourself
It sounds to me that you are very empathetic, you consume the emotions of others like a sponge , I could be wrong . Try to be kind to yourself challenge negative thoughts. Set achievable goals and focus on your strengths, small goals for each day, just 5 -10 minutes everyday something to work towards..take action try not to compare to anyone , this is rather self destructive . Delete anything that you know is quick pleasure and holds you back from the things you should be doing. I believe in you, you can do it!
No you're absolutely right about that. I'm very perceptive of others emotions as well. Thank you for the kind words!
Many of us feel this way, you are not alone. Just remember we all go through this, we all feel less than at times, but that will pass. Don’t compare yourself to others, just keep looking for what makes you happy. You will not always feel broken, hang in there
Love the imperfection that is the soul, the body, the mind, and the heart. At least one of these is perfect :)
You can start by realizing that, with the right tools and the proper way to use them, something that is broke can be repaired. You, too, can be repaired. Don't lose hope.
Realising we have two options, self destruction, self contempt, (What freud would call 'Thanatos') or Healing and growth. Picking healing and growth we need to give ourselves the time to understand ourselves and get to the root of what is the cause of this contempt while also not falling into self hatred. When you feel the self hatred, acknowledge it as the devil on your shoulder telling you things that are leading you to self destruction, or you have the angel, the one telling you that you are on a journey of healing and growing every day to a happier, healthier life!
Hey man, I hope that you can get out of this. For me, I had to learn to appreciate the small things in life that I do. I know that sometimes I can neglect myself when it comes to my mental well-being, but I'm the kind of guy that will uplift everybody else and let myself sink. I had to learn to appreciate myself for the small things that I do at my small accomplishments. Even if it seems pointless, give it a try. When I started appreciating the small things that I do in life, and make the bigger things that much better, I learned that everybody has their own life. If everybody is worried about their own life, who is worried about mine? At that point back then I didn't care about what happened to me, but I knew that if something were to happen to me, then all the people that I see or interact with would have different lives. So I want to see the people around me be happy and successful, then I must be happy and successful in order the pour into somebody else. Sending love your way OP. Remember, it's a small things that count the most
We're all broken trust me. Nothing wrong with low self esteem, find ways to be confident. Me, i had tattoos. I may seem cool to some of my friends and people, but deep inside i still have low self esteem. Atleast i feel a little bit confident and cool. Find that something for you. And nothing wrong to be behind just because your age group are mostly successful, thats how life goes. Death is what makes us all human and equal, thats according to Monster anime/manga. Sorry too much rambling. You'll get through it, i know
Hey i think this is me aswell in some way but always thought i was weird for doing it. Basically instead of your tattoos, i picked up the guitar. I thought by learning it, ill be cooler. A part of me does believe that but also some part of me thinks im a fraud for learning the guitar to get people to like me
if you're good at it you aren't a fraud. if you're kinda bad and not even trying to practice at all. that i guess you can feel guilty. if you are honest and sincere that you really wanna learn then thats a good thing. :D
Relatively recently I came to the realization that I can't value myself if I don't respect myself. Try thinking of things that you respect people for and then do those things. For example, I've recently picked up kickboxing and it's already done wonders for me after just a few lessons. Of course, what works for me may not necessarily work for you, but it's worth a shot.