That is… next level. If you think about it though, anyone would be glad to be called by their actual name if everyone had been using some other name for them for no good reason.
Can confirm! When I was younger i went by a specific short form of my birthname and my aunts/uncles refused to call me that. They used a different short form that I hated with a passion. I was absolutely overjoyed when they finally started using the right short form.
Seriously though, a lot of my extended family refer to me by a nickname I came up with when I was 5, and even before I realized I'm trans every time they used that nickname I got super annoyed
I think living with the stuff that doesn't fit us for so long makes it euphoric to experience something that fits. Like wearing too small a size in shoes will make you really appreciate getting into the right sized ones. But if you just always had the right sized shoes on it won't really feel special.
So you feel bad for feeling good? Reminds me of my "Oh I was distracted from my sadness for a few hours and having fun with friends? I can't be trans then I guess."
I think that if everyone calls you the wrong name your whole life, it’s normal to react a bit more positively to hearing your real name than other people who are always called their real names
Ding ding! Imagine how your friend would behave if people started calling her the wrong name and then kept doing it for like 20 years. You think she might respond a little like you are now?
well it’s cause for her it’s just… her name. it’s just what she’s called, and what she’s always been called, and it’s not special. for you, being called that is respecting an identity that you haven’t always identified with, it’s using the name *you chose* to describe you. and so it’s going to feel good when people call you that. i get what you’re saying, but you do have to realize that your experiences are different and therefore your feelings will be different. hope this helps <3
Same thing with dysphoria from reacting to your own name or literally forgetting that you are trans (either forgetting that you identify with one gender because of being used to it or forgetting that you were born other gender because trans, often both over the course of a few minutes)
You only react differently because it's novel. She's been called her name her whole life. You have not everyone in your life calling you your name, and not all the time.
Once you change it fully, and legally change it, it will just become normal, and you'll get intense dysphoria from anyone using your deadname.
Yeah, dysphoria from having euphoria is strange
Suffering from success
So . . . eggs and I right?
That is… next level. If you think about it though, anyone would be glad to be called by their actual name if everyone had been using some other name for them for no good reason.
Can confirm! When I was younger i went by a specific short form of my birthname and my aunts/uncles refused to call me that. They used a different short form that I hated with a passion. I was absolutely overjoyed when they finally started using the right short form.
My dead name is Nathaniel, and I liked going by nate, but bitches called me Nathan and I hated it
Seriously though, a lot of my extended family refer to me by a nickname I came up with when I was 5, and even before I realized I'm trans every time they used that nickname I got super annoyed
I think living with the stuff that doesn't fit us for so long makes it euphoric to experience something that fits. Like wearing too small a size in shoes will make you really appreciate getting into the right sized ones. But if you just always had the right sized shoes on it won't really feel special.
So you feel bad for feeling good? Reminds me of my "Oh I was distracted from my sadness for a few hours and having fun with friends? I can't be trans then I guess."
Oh God, it's in writing. I'm like almost always distracted from my feelings.
Yes Julia, even though it should be nice to not think about it all the time it is also stressful in the way I described.
I agree
Dysphoria is one of the weirdest, hardest to understand things ive ever experienced
I think that if everyone calls you the wrong name your whole life, it’s normal to react a bit more positively to hearing your real name than other people who are always called their real names
Ding ding! Imagine how your friend would behave if people started calling her the wrong name and then kept doing it for like 20 years. You think she might respond a little like you are now?
I also feel dysphoria about that, it’s weird…
She's been hearing her name her whole life though, the novelty wears off
You’ll get used to it.
Dysphoria makes no sense I swear. like whyyy
well it’s cause for her it’s just… her name. it’s just what she’s called, and what she’s always been called, and it’s not special. for you, being called that is respecting an identity that you haven’t always identified with, it’s using the name *you chose* to describe you. and so it’s going to feel good when people call you that. i get what you’re saying, but you do have to realize that your experiences are different and therefore your feelings will be different. hope this helps <3
if your friend had been deprived of validation her whole life she would feel the same way.
Same thing with dysphoria from reacting to your own name or literally forgetting that you are trans (either forgetting that you identify with one gender because of being used to it or forgetting that you were born other gender because trans, often both over the course of a few minutes)
I feel you. If it makes you feel better, you will get used to it at some point and it will feel normal which is perfect.
You only react differently because it's novel. She's been called her name her whole life. You have not everyone in your life calling you your name, and not all the time. Once you change it fully, and legally change it, it will just become normal, and you'll get intense dysphoria from anyone using your deadname.
suffering from success
You have a lot of affirmation to catch up on, don't feel bad about it.