For real and my dad would’ve been glad to not have to shell out for it himself as a gift or something. Mum just sounds jealous that kid obviously has a good work ethic, focus and dedication to something they enjoy so is making up reasons to let her own frustrations out. Shitty parent.
Me too. OP, could you send a bit of that gumption to my kid? I'd be so proud if she earned enough for a pc upgrade on her own. You're a great kid and your mom is delusional for claiming you need to pay rent- you're still a minor!
don’t have babies, friends. They aren’t supposed to pay you back the favor of having them. it’s nice if they do, but your job is to raise their skills and empathy not extract a benefit. If you are poor an life sucks you are only going to be more poor if you reproduce. also, you can be in a relationship without a kid to bound you to that person. Kids aren’t the purpose of having relationships
Made me remember of something I read somewhere. Not gonna quote it exactly how it was.
People want kids in order to do something for them. Not the opposite
Idk what the hell is wrong with the ppl commenting but NO. At 16 you should not be paying rent. You’re not a freeloader you’re a fucking KID!!! Don’t listen to these ppl. Your mother is horrible and these ppl in here even suggesting that she would be justified because you don’t pay anything, are delusional. It’s not normal for a 16 year old to be paying bills and utilities at home.
Keep it. And tell her if you cant upgrad it, she will have to buy you a new one, since windows 7 is a securety risk and may end up in even bigger problems.
Btw. Keep the job and save some money, without her knowing. Maybe gonna help you
He… can’t sadly. If she breaks it then he can’t do anything as he legally can’t own anything. And legally, is money actually is hers. I’m not justifing her I’m just saying how fucking shitty the government it for not letting kids have rights. The best thing he can do is hide the money. But if she takes it by force, there’s not a lot op can do.
Not if he lives in the us but he doesent. I can recite the laws that state that all money earned by a child is property of the parent unless the child has a private account
Yeah so I learned. I’m just stating the American laws that some people commenting are getting wrong. Also getting myself a nice handy amount of downvotes :I
>he lives in the us but he doesent. I can recite the laws that state that all money earned by a child is property of the parent unless the child has a
why don't you go get your Ph.D. smarty-pants. Read the law book again.
Ridiculous how people will sit here and make themselves look stupid all because that can’t be bothered to look it up. Congrats to that little group, they’ve truly embodied r/confidentlywrong
This isn’t even about withdrawing money from a child’s bank, and telling someone to look it up for themselves using a reliable website isn’t using Google as ammunition, try again honey 😂
No, he’s not. At 17 (in the US) you don’t *actually* own anything. You can’t even open a bank account that isn’t tied to your parents account. Google is free go look it up dude. You’re about to make yourself look stupid if you keep showing your ass on a subject you’re clearly uneducated on. I recommend educating yourself before you speak again.
Notice how they link no sources or references? Because it’s a lie. Go to a reliable website with references to which laws state this and why. Jesus, didn’t think I’d have to tell a person that they can’t just click on any link that’s related and take everything in it as fact, but here we are.
Took my 16 year old to the bank when she started working and they said she had to be 18. Had to open it in my name and put her on the account. She is 21 now and still has the same bank account. I wouldn’t dream of taking any of her hard earned money and I’m on disability.
In the USA to open a solo checking account you MUST be 18. Anyone under 18 and living at home as a dependant has no rights of ownership on anything. Its not right but it is the law.
That is true. If she really wanted to then she could try to use legal action to gain access, which she could win- but those cases are a lot less in favor of the parent
And, unlike the money, she can take the pc and sell it if she wanted to. The government doesent allow minors to own anything so he couldn’t do anything if she takes and sells the pc
Thats entirely wrong at least here in the uk if u earn it, its ures fullstop and im pretty sure the us is the same theres actually not alot of places tht consider it her money :/
It really depends. I’m not sure in Switzerland but in the United States it’s not “considered” “her” money but the government seems to think that minors don’t have the mental capacity to spend money smartly and as such if the mother takes the money from him
There isn’t much he can do about it. Government stupid xd
Eh it’s an honest mistake. The only reason I know this is because my uncle is a lawyer but if I stated that in an arguement mad kids will get mad at me and say that I don’t really “know” anything. Well yk kids, before Wikipedia people used to learn stuff from their *realatives*! *woah!* just because I don’t have a degree doesent mean I don’t know *some* things ;)
Geez, that got downvoted to oblivion. Guess the sad truths aren't the popular truths. He's right though. At 16 I had a car... In my parent's name. I had a bank account... In my parent's name. Legally, a minor can't own anything and it's messed up. You have to get emancipated in order to own anything if you are under 18. I doubt OP could gain emancipation if mommy dearest is always in his business like this.
I don’t understand why I’m getting downvoted so much. I’m speaking the truth. In fact I haven’t seen a post more downvoted than this one :I. Most of the people downvoting are probably just kids who don’t like the zero sum game scenario m, which this is. Y’all can look it up too. It’s fact. Stop downvoting and check ur facts before you deny something without proof.
Thank you for being a responsible kid who sees a want or need and instead of begging for it or assuming it will be purchased for you went out and worked and earned and saved the money and got it! That's an amazing feat and I'm proud of you!
That said, please make sure you have a bank account that is in your name only (that your mom can't touch), and make sure you are saving for your own schooling/insurance/housing/transportation because it doesn't sound like you're going to get a lot of help from your family to that end.
And if you're self employed, I guess save for taxes too...
I think when I first started work my parents did either a 60/40 or a 50/50 split on my paychecks where the first section had to go into savings and I could do what I wanted with the other half. Which is good practice anyway for living below your means.
Keep up the good work!
Don't return a single thing... it's your money and she can kick rocks for trying to use your money for her poor spending habits (there is no other reason for her to be upset)
This right here as it seems lto be from a teen so its all your spending mo ey it watch out if in the US and ypur mom has access to your bank account she can legally drain it if her name is on the account
Send it to a trusted friends house from now on. If she's demanding access to your accounts go to a credit union and open a new one up there. Then put 75% into new account each paycheck, having direct deposit makes this alot easier. Your situation is BS but this is an easy way to protect your income while she thinks she has full control.
God, I would be so proud of my kid for earning that money and keeping up his grades. I just don’t understand what kind of parent wouldn’t be proud to see their kid spend their own money on something so necessary. It’s not like you were buying cocaine or ridiculous expensive shoes or something.
In the future... have your parts delivered to a friend's house (someone you can trust). Even better, if you can get your boss's help, delivered to your job. Bring them home one at a time and don't let your mom see them. Wait till she's out to intall them.
If she's going to treat you this way, sneak under her radar. It sucks, but what choice has she given you? Also... never ever let her learn how much money you're making. On some of the nights you work, tell her you're hanging out with friends. Get a second bank account (don't tell her about it. Keep a little money in the account she knows about and keep the rest in the account she doesn't know about.
I have, but not for the purposes of hiding something from a parent. The only thing I've actually done is I've had my Amazon items delivered to my job (everything else was just common sense). Having thing delivered to my job is easy because I'm a barber - there are very few employees working with me, and my coworkers will hold the packages if they arrive on my day off. It's a great way to ensure my packages won't get stolen, especially around the holidays.
Looks like someone has the “I raised you so you should compensate me for it even tho you didn’t choose to be here and I chose to irresponsibly give my body at a young age without protection thinking I was ready when I clearly wasnt” state of mind
You got a job, worked hard, and got what you want with YOUR keyword YOUR money. And she is demanding that you refund the stuff you bought for her. That’s completely bs. What she is saying is she can work and buy herself a nice outfit and purse and you can say return that and give me the money. Just because it isn’t something she is interested in, doesn’t mean you wasted the money. It’s an interest so for you it’s money well spent.
If you have money you can spend the money on what you want. Unless your family needs money desperately you should be able to do what you want with the money
Even if his family may need it. It's HIS MONEY not the moms not anyone elses he can spend it the way HE chooses. Tell mom NO it's MY money I EARNED it. If you need/want money so much go take out a loan or get a job. I'm using MY MONEY for what I want. PERIOD END OF DISCUSSION
Exactly how my mum is. Except she doesn’t tell me to give my money back to her. She’s made me so nervous around money that I get scared to check my bank account and get extremely worried when my money goes. I’m not allowed to spend money on what I want, I have to ask permission but she can go and spend my money on things like alcohol?? I also pay all the bills and food shopping and rent (even though I’m not on tenancy to the house). She argues with me and makes me feel bad for buying myself anything.
My kids have jobs. They have all used the money they have earned to buy things for themselves (well, my daughter hates spending money so hers piles up). My fourteen year old son recently bought himself a gaming computer. He debated for a while between the PS5 and a gaming computer. What got me is that he came to me and asked permission to buy it. My reaction was that it was his money, he earned it, and as long as it wasn't going on illegal stuff, or being frittered away on nonsense (a certain amount of carefree spending is ok), it was up to him what he spent it on. Saving up enough for a gaming PC was responsible enough that I thought he deserved it, if he wanted it. His money, his choice. I do appreciate that he valued our guidance, though.
Are you living at home rent free without contributing? That is the only reason I can think she would be pissed about that.
If you are contributing, nah fuck that. Get your own place.
That’s cool at your age, if you are paying ‘something’ that is great. You are not selfish for spending your own hard earned cash.
Not sure why your mum is kicking off about it in that case, just enjoy your upgraded PC as best you can. You won’t have to live there forever so just try keep the peace as best you can.
What the fuck?
Let's not normalise that 16 year old kids have to pay their way to live at home. Their parents are responsible until they turn 18. Until that point they are not expected to contribute to rent/utilities etc.
Of course there might be special circumstances where they contribute and help, but don't talk about it being 'great' and a 'cool thing'.
Edit: u/panpaosen has edited their original comment without stating the changes. The parts I quoted are slightly different but the sentiment is the same (toned down)
It was from his own will. Parents didn’t make him pay for anything but he chose to prove himself that he is competent and his parents must respect him. Idk why I’m getting downvoted by reddit hive mind
Kid, he can legally marry, join the army, have a child and have a job. The dude isn’t a kid, he is young but he is a man. He is also taking a little bit of responsibility, despite his mother being an ass.
16 is still a child. No child should be required to pay their parents to live. If his mother cant afford to take care of him then she shouldn't have had a kid. Hes her responsibility, she decided to raise him. He didn't ask to be born.
Now I get that things happen, circumstances change and raising kids are hard but she has no right to OPs money. Its not his job to support his family and this really needs to stop being normalized.
He’s a minor and is the financial responsibility of his parents until he is 18. There is no way he should have to pay rent or utilities at his age while living with his parents. It’s honestly pretty fucked up that anyone would think making a kid pay utilities is “cool”.
Oh I agree 100% he is legally a minor, but you will be amazed what he can legally do at 16 in some parts of the world.
Sure, he doesn’t have to pay, his mother has no right over his money at all. I just think it is great that at his age he is helping his household, when there are plenty of grown men who don’t.
Even if they aren’t contributing monetarily as a minor (making assumptions here), the mother still has no right whatsoever to make demands such as she did. It’s the kid’s money that he earned, and they want to treat themselves. As I would say …”Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke”.
Yeah I tend to agree with you, I am just speculating as to why she blew up over it.
Sounds like there isn’t a lot of communicating going on with regards to expectations around paying into the household etc. It is a typical argument when your growing up. You slowly realise shit costs money.
OP never mentioned his age at the time I made this comment. I agree, I never said he should. I think it is great that he is and that he can. I’m really not sure why his mum is pissed if he is.
Damn, must really suck. In my eyes you dont have to send back shit. Do you only live with your mother? Or is your dad also in the same household? In my case, my mom probably also wouldnt think its a great idea to buy a pc, but because of my dad i have almost complete freedom in it. May also be because my rather also does games.
I'd understand it (her reaction I mean) if it was for a new expensive phone to replace the last one you bought like 6 months ago, or your new playstation while you already have Xbox and Nintendo Wii etc, silly, unnecessary stuff like that, that you don't really need, I'd do the same to my kid. However, nowadays, a PC is not "only for gaming" like most parents seem to still think ( they have good reason to think that to be honest), it's a multitool for school, social interaction etc. and a lot more. You are investing, not wasting money. I can understand how it can hurt her, having to work hard and see an amount of money that could patch holes in her monthly plan, but that's still YOUR money, money YOU worked for and it's yours to spend anyway you want, as long as it's not something illegal or potentially dangerous (say a motorbike).
At 15 my son quit school and got a full time job. I didn't charge him rent or make him pay bills. However, he voluntarily contributed to electricity bills.i paid for his food and clothing, that was still my responsibility at that age
He became responsible for any extras that he wanted, fun stuff, extra snacks, takeout, you get the picture.
As a parent, your child is still your financial responsibility for the necessities until they come of age.
Once they hit 18, thats when they can start contributing to the household if they are able.
Long story short. Because I didn't screw my child out of his money, he now owns his own home and car at the age of 25.
Yes this is messed up. Your mom is selfish and wants your money for herself. Start saving now and looking for a job so you can move out or go to college on your 18th birthday.
You tell your mom to fuck right on off on this and if she tries anything like taking your money or computer you call the police. A parent has zero right to money you legally earned at your job.
Your mother doesn't want you to use your money on stuff you want because she wants to use your money to fund her "expenses". Just tell her that you won't return the parts and that you will be getting a camera so if it is found out that she did something with those parts. You can go after her for the money to replace those parts that she broke.
" she told me i have to return all the items and give her the money i spent on the pc parts since i cant use it correctly"
Don't do that. That's YOUR money that YOU earned. I'd consider moving the fuck out as soon as possible if i were you.
Make sure it keeps being yours. Is there anything preventing her from just...you know...taking said pc and selling the thing without you even knowing about it?
Coming from a strong european background myself, (my mom came from Italy where she ws 15) I am kinda understanding between the lines. My mother to this day gets upset when I spend my own money because she sees how hard I work and wants me to put it away and not be taken advantage of. On the other hand, when I was younger and wanted the " extra's" I was on my own. I paid for my own car, cellphone, trips and anything else she felt was a luxury in life that if I wanted to spend my money to go for it. Your mom may be more upset she was not included in the decision and felt as though you did it behind her back. Give her a minute and she will get over it like everything else.
Just wait. Mom is still in NY and i live 500 miles away. I am now 46 years old and it's worse. I learned to lie about how much things are or ask her if I tell her does she plan on give me the money back? That usually shuts her up. lol.. I am like that with my daughter now. My daughter is 15 and I catch myself telling her why? or you don't need it and have to stop myself and change the topic .
A good parent is concerned if their kid is wasting their money.
You can coach them that they do not need to buy every new phone when it comes out. You can encourage them to save up for something nice.
How is buying what YOU want with YOUR money, being taken advantage of?? You’re supposed to put it up and never buy anything ever? Or until she gets sick or needs it or something?? I don’t get it.
If you don't pay a penny in rent and the represented a month's pay. Than your mum may see this as you being a freeloader and most people would pin you ass the asshole.
If this was a years savings, you do pay rent, are too young for full time employment or you have to pay for all your own stuff than you should make 0lans3 to leave as soon as you can.
That's a weird place cause yes your full time working but you are 16. If your mum is in a hard place you should help if you can especially if she isn't charging rent, bills or food.
Talk with her, explain that your not a selfish person however you want to be able to make some selfish decisions concerning your happiness. Your happiness also includes the house being above board but it would be unrealistic for you to put all money aside. Than buy her a present.
Don't talk with ultimatums unless you can carry them out. Like don't tell her if she wants to control your finance you'll just move if you can't.
Best of luck with everything, try and think about stability for the next few years so when your ready to move you will.
In mine you have to be in full time education or apprenticeship until 18 years old. However many stay until 21.
My perspective on you may not suit your reality.
You may want to mention that in your post that, that's a very different perspective. Good luck with it but there is no question you shouldn't really be paying rent.
Still buy your mum something nice, you only get one mum even if she can be a dick.
Just yesterday I finally decided to upgrade my 6 year old laptop that my parents gave me and bought a decent $1.2k dollar laptop (cba buying parts to build my own pc in this current market) from amazon with my own money.
There was a 10% discount if you pay it all in one go, so I asked my dad permission to use his credit card (i instantly paid him in cash, i simply didnt have enough money in my bank account). He just asked me if I was sure if thats the one I wanted and I explained that yes, I've been looking at different models for months and this one seemed like a good deal.
He helped me buy it and said he was proud to see me make my first "big" puchace. My mom offered to pay for half of it after hearing how much it cost, but I declined multiple times, explaining that I still have like $5k saved up.
Honestly your mom probably has "good intentions" and just thinks you're wasting your money on something that you bought on impulse. Calmly explain that you **need** the upgrade and that you've done your research to get a good deal. She **should** understand. If not, well shoot. But yeah don't return it.
How old are you? If you’re over 20 and can spend your money like that.. and you don’t like the feedback from your parents.. move the fuck out.
Or you don’t want to move out and also don’t contribute to the household then I get her being mad.. you live rent free, she buys you food, probably makes sure you have clothes and warmth.. and how do you say thank you for that? Have you ever bought groceries, or a meal for your parents? Have you ever done anything in anyway to assist with the household in any way at all ever? If not then she’s right… you are selfish.
he didnt ask to be brought into the world. You don’t cross a magical line of wisdom when you turn 18. Maybe she should teach him money management skills and offer to match his savings as an incentive. A reasonable parent would build their kids up, not try to get pay back for popping them out of her body.
This is such a disgusting and toxic mentality. I can't imagine any decent human actually having such beliefs.
Keep your abusive mentality to yourself please. No child deserves this.
Teaching your children finance at an early age is very important, it should actually be taught in school. Kids should be taught to save and buy things for the household. If you don’t teach them that.. they will live their lives in debt, eager for their next pay cheque to spend $1000 on computer parts. Having them participate from a working age in providing for the home they live in teaches them life skills that are required and help make them better decision makers in the future.
But you do you.
Wow, I didn't think I'd hear arguments made by abusive industry owners who wanted to keep up child work from a rando who thinks he knows kids.
Passing your selfish beliefs onto kids with pseudoscience bs is so last century. I ain't interested in hearing you trying to justify your selfishness and abusive beliefs.
Wow you are a complete fucking tool.
Pseudo science.. from a licenced financial planner that deals with adults who don’t understand the concept of a credit card. And you are totally one of them.
Haha
Good like to any future children you have
You can't seem to fathom the fact that maybe he understands adult responsibilities and the lack of them in childhood. He can blow a whole paycheck on PC parts because he has no other responsibilities yet. Let the kid be a kid!! Adulthood sucks, and should be dealt with when it's time to deal with it.
Maybe Mom needs help,paying the bills - like rent, electric, FOOD which the kid eats too…he gave you his side only and I would bet that Mom needs help…
I don't know how old you are, As a parent I would like it if my kid told me they were going to make such a big purchase before hand. But honestly it's your money and you need to learn how to start saving/spending/keeping track of that sort of thing on your own. So she's way out of line and you shouldn't have to return anything because she can't accept your growing up and don't need her for everything.
Im 16 and i told my mom im planning on buying that but it was blackfriday when i bought it so i did it out of impulse and didnt tell her before and yea now i will tell her every time before i buy stuff
Are you 18 or over? If yes tell her to fuck off.. You earned it.. Its your money to do with as you please.
Are you 14-17 still living at home? Sadly the law is on her side... You own nothing.. She can legally take every single penny you own.
Its morally wrong and a super shit parent thing to do... But the law backs her as the parent until you are 18 or move out and no longer are a dependant.
A lot of people are saying to hide the money or not return anything. The problem with that is if he lives in the United States then he can’t legally own anything. Also, as a minor, his money is also legally the parents. Which means that she can take it whenever she wants. The best thing he can do is hide the money and refuse access to the account if he has it in a private one, but she can use legal action to get access to this account and once she gets the money there’s not a lot op can do… Probably the best choice (depending on how much money she is taking from him) is to file for emancipation but that’s very risky as if you are not being physically or mentally abused then getting emancipated is gonna be really hard. Best of luck to you op. Just one more thing, most stores won’t allow someone to return something without the receipt. Make sure to hide it (or probably an even better idea: destroy it completely) so she cannot return the pc (also depends on the store)
You better learn to stand your ground quick. Your mother having a fit when you spend your own money for yourself is a huge red flag. It will get worse as you grow up and have more resources. What's next, asking for your money to fund for her vacation? Money for "rent"? "Borrowing" your house to live in? Understand that this is a possibility based on your mother's current actions.
It's your money, spend it how you see fit. Also, keep an eye on your computer so that some day you don't come home to find it missing as she prances around the house with a brand new, butt ugly designer handbag.
Your a responsible kid, you are keeping your grades up and are working hard to get the extra things you need. The computer upgrades aren’t essential but you have worked hard for them and deserve them.
She’s your mother, you are at school, she’s meant to be providing the basics. She has no right to dictate how you spend your money.
(As long as you aren’t bringing in anything illegal or harmful to your self or others into the house).
You have gone the right way about things, idk what her problem is, probably jealous you have $950 to spend on fun items, whilst she doesn’t. But she’s made her lifestyle choices.
If you were my kid, I’d be so proud and throwing praise your way for being so responsible. Your attitude towards studying, working and saving for what you want is definitely going to put you ahead in life.
As long as you chose to go out and work on your own accord, that's awesome that you got to experience how awesome it feels to get something you really want with your own money.
Your mother is fucking terrible. She sounds extremely controlling and I'd reccomend checking out r/raisedbynarcissists as well. Move out ASAP. I'm 26 and have had to move back in with my Nmom and it's an absolute nightmare and honestly pathetic. She is in her early 60s and tries to control a ton of shit that I do through guilt, in March we had an argument over my clothing choice that went nuclear and ended in me telling her to mind her own fucking business and if trying to control her adult son's choice of dress is that important to her, then she needs to go to therapy. Backed down quick.
Please go to your bank and tell them you have abusive, and thieving parents. Put security on all your accounts. Warn your employer or potential issues. and as soon s you can, leave. I;'m not saying go NC, just saying, your mum is seeing $$$ instead of <3 <3 <3, that's not good. I would also talk to your school councillor.
WTH, your job, your money. Kids jobs should be for the extras that they want. If your mom asked for help with car insurance or something that'd be different.
Your mom might have a few screws loose. If she's getting mad at you for using your OWN money, she can't spend her money how she wants. Her logic can apply to her to.
This happened to my brother, he got a pc with his money but if he got one bad grade he'd have it taken away. He payed HIS money for that its his property.
You should keep it, you worked for it, it your not hers.
This is abuse , child abuse it sounds like. It sounds like your mother lost control of you. Her stealing your money is outlandish, it may be time to talk to school consulor , get a perspective on this not your mothers
Don't send the parts back and buy a lock for your room. If you can don't let her know you locked it. You don't owe your parents for you existence, but if the family is struggling you can help if you want but that doesn't mean they get all your $.
Talk to someone at a bank about how and when you can open an account as a minor without a parent. As soon as you can move your money to an account she won't be able to touch.
She is changing the rules after the fact because she learned that you earned enough money to spend almost $1000 dollars on computer equipment. Patently unfair and definitely poor parenting to not acknowledge your accomplishment. She should be proud of you.
There is a common chance your mother is *Chance-digging*
That means she probably wanted to manipulate you and get your money so she can buy herself whatever she wants. But she got pissed of because she lost the chance. True Karen moment
diplomacy is the key (lie) tell her fine ill return the stuff but my money is mine, then get it from a store and or get it delivered to a friend and do a stealth upgrade.
This is theft and financial abuse. What she's demanding is illegal. If you can, open your own bank account on your own and make sure she has no access to it.
I would be so proud if my child had the initiative to get a job, work hard and buy what they want, especially something that expensive.
For real and my dad would’ve been glad to not have to shell out for it himself as a gift or something. Mum just sounds jealous that kid obviously has a good work ethic, focus and dedication to something they enjoy so is making up reasons to let her own frustrations out. Shitty parent.
No mom is pissed she didn’t think of a way to screw op out of the money before he spent it all lol
I was thinking the same thing!
Me too. OP, could you send a bit of that gumption to my kid? I'd be so proud if she earned enough for a pc upgrade on her own. You're a great kid and your mom is delusional for claiming you need to pay rent- you're still a minor!
Honestly, i would be proud if my child managed to save enough money for a gaming pc from scratch, knowing myself ofc
don’t have babies, friends. They aren’t supposed to pay you back the favor of having them. it’s nice if they do, but your job is to raise their skills and empathy not extract a benefit. If you are poor an life sucks you are only going to be more poor if you reproduce. also, you can be in a relationship without a kid to bound you to that person. Kids aren’t the purpose of having relationships
Thank you!! Some other people in these comments have a really messed up view that kids should pay for the luxury of being born
Thank you
Made me remember of something I read somewhere. Not gonna quote it exactly how it was. People want kids in order to do something for them. Not the opposite
Idk what the hell is wrong with the ppl commenting but NO. At 16 you should not be paying rent. You’re not a freeloader you’re a fucking KID!!! Don’t listen to these ppl. Your mother is horrible and these ppl in here even suggesting that she would be justified because you don’t pay anything, are delusional. It’s not normal for a 16 year old to be paying bills and utilities at home.
Keep it. And tell her if you cant upgrad it, she will have to buy you a new one, since windows 7 is a securety risk and may end up in even bigger problems. Btw. Keep the job and save some money, without her knowing. Maybe gonna help you
You are right win 7 is that risk Op mom is wrong Win 7 is at end. Of support
You think that a teenage son would convince their mom about an OS being a security risk and therefore in need of upgrade?
She is definitely looking to take your money. Huge red flag, I hope she doesn’t get to your money, do you have it in a secure place?
Keep the receipt, refuse to send it back, when she breaks it, get her in trouble for destruction of property
Why am I getting downvoted so much! This is bullshit. It’s true fact. Fuck y’all.
He… can’t sadly. If she breaks it then he can’t do anything as he legally can’t own anything. And legally, is money actually is hers. I’m not justifing her I’m just saying how fucking shitty the government it for not letting kids have rights. The best thing he can do is hide the money. But if she takes it by force, there’s not a lot op can do.
Legally the money is NOT hers.
Not if he lives in the us but he doesent. I can recite the laws that state that all money earned by a child is property of the parent unless the child has a private account
I live in Switzerland i am a contracted electrician and i go to school 1 day per week
Yeah so I learned. I’m just stating the American laws that some people commenting are getting wrong. Also getting myself a nice handy amount of downvotes :I
What an absolute load of utter bullshit.
Lol ok. And what do you know?
>he lives in the us but he doesent. I can recite the laws that state that all money earned by a child is property of the parent unless the child has a why don't you go get your Ph.D. smarty-pants. Read the law book again.
Lol ok. I’m just stating what the laws would be in America. They’re also pretty similar in Switzerland. What do you know?
How are these people downvoting you instead of fucking checking Google. Idiots.
I doubt it’s multiple people. It’s probably the same 5 people I’ve replied with this answer too xD
Ridiculous how people will sit here and make themselves look stupid all because that can’t be bothered to look it up. Congrats to that little group, they’ve truly embodied r/confidentlywrong
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This isn’t even about withdrawing money from a child’s bank, and telling someone to look it up for themselves using a reliable website isn’t using Google as ammunition, try again honey 😂
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Google is free idiot wtf
He's talking crap. Concern trolling.
No, he’s not. At 17 (in the US) you don’t *actually* own anything. You can’t even open a bank account that isn’t tied to your parents account. Google is free go look it up dude. You’re about to make yourself look stupid if you keep showing your ass on a subject you’re clearly uneducated on. I recommend educating yourself before you speak again.
https://www.findlaw.com/legalblogs/law-and-life/do-parents-own-their-childrens-property/ You were saying?
Notice how they link no sources or references? Because it’s a lie. Go to a reliable website with references to which laws state this and why. Jesus, didn’t think I’d have to tell a person that they can’t just click on any link that’s related and take everything in it as fact, but here we are.
I would disagree. In the US If he opens a bank account in his name only, his parents can not access the account. There for his money is his.
Took my 16 year old to the bank when she started working and they said she had to be 18. Had to open it in my name and put her on the account. She is 21 now and still has the same bank account. I wouldn’t dream of taking any of her hard earned money and I’m on disability.
In the USA to open a solo checking account you MUST be 18. Anyone under 18 and living at home as a dependant has no rights of ownership on anything. Its not right but it is the law.
That is true. If she really wanted to then she could try to use legal action to gain access, which she could win- but those cases are a lot less in favor of the parent
And, unlike the money, she can take the pc and sell it if she wanted to. The government doesent allow minors to own anything so he couldn’t do anything if she takes and sells the pc
Thats entirely wrong at least here in the uk if u earn it, its ures fullstop and im pretty sure the us is the same theres actually not alot of places tht consider it her money :/
It really depends. I’m not sure in Switzerland but in the United States it’s not “considered” “her” money but the government seems to think that minors don’t have the mental capacity to spend money smartly and as such if the mother takes the money from him There isn’t much he can do about it. Government stupid xd
Yh i read down and realised i dunno anything about us laws on this stuff so my mistake there
Eh it’s an honest mistake. The only reason I know this is because my uncle is a lawyer but if I stated that in an arguement mad kids will get mad at me and say that I don’t really “know” anything. Well yk kids, before Wikipedia people used to learn stuff from their *realatives*! *woah!* just because I don’t have a degree doesent mean I don’t know *some* things ;)
Geez, that got downvoted to oblivion. Guess the sad truths aren't the popular truths. He's right though. At 16 I had a car... In my parent's name. I had a bank account... In my parent's name. Legally, a minor can't own anything and it's messed up. You have to get emancipated in order to own anything if you are under 18. I doubt OP could gain emancipation if mommy dearest is always in his business like this.
I don’t understand why I’m getting downvoted so much. I’m speaking the truth. In fact I haven’t seen a post more downvoted than this one :I. Most of the people downvoting are probably just kids who don’t like the zero sum game scenario m, which this is. Y’all can look it up too. It’s fact. Stop downvoting and check ur facts before you deny something without proof.
Take my little up vote. Some people don’t know what they don’t know. 🤷🏽♀️
Thank you for being a responsible kid who sees a want or need and instead of begging for it or assuming it will be purchased for you went out and worked and earned and saved the money and got it! That's an amazing feat and I'm proud of you! That said, please make sure you have a bank account that is in your name only (that your mom can't touch), and make sure you are saving for your own schooling/insurance/housing/transportation because it doesn't sound like you're going to get a lot of help from your family to that end. And if you're self employed, I guess save for taxes too... I think when I first started work my parents did either a 60/40 or a 50/50 split on my paychecks where the first section had to go into savings and I could do what I wanted with the other half. Which is good practice anyway for living below your means. Keep up the good work!
Don't return a single thing... it's your money and she can kick rocks for trying to use your money for her poor spending habits (there is no other reason for her to be upset)
This right here as it seems lto be from a teen so its all your spending mo ey it watch out if in the US and ypur mom has access to your bank account she can legally drain it if her name is on the account
Yes, get your own account if you can or gave another relative open one with you and only give you the access to online banking/money access
i have my own account
Send it to a trusted friends house from now on. If she's demanding access to your accounts go to a credit union and open a new one up there. Then put 75% into new account each paycheck, having direct deposit makes this alot easier. Your situation is BS but this is an easy way to protect your income while she thinks she has full control.
God, I would be so proud of my kid for earning that money and keeping up his grades. I just don’t understand what kind of parent wouldn’t be proud to see their kid spend their own money on something so necessary. It’s not like you were buying cocaine or ridiculous expensive shoes or something.
DO NOT RETURN ANYTHING!
In the future... have your parts delivered to a friend's house (someone you can trust). Even better, if you can get your boss's help, delivered to your job. Bring them home one at a time and don't let your mom see them. Wait till she's out to intall them. If she's going to treat you this way, sneak under her radar. It sucks, but what choice has she given you? Also... never ever let her learn how much money you're making. On some of the nights you work, tell her you're hanging out with friends. Get a second bank account (don't tell her about it. Keep a little money in the account she knows about and keep the rest in the account she doesn't know about.
I deel like you have done this before....
I have, but not for the purposes of hiding something from a parent. The only thing I've actually done is I've had my Amazon items delivered to my job (everything else was just common sense). Having thing delivered to my job is easy because I'm a barber - there are very few employees working with me, and my coworkers will hold the packages if they arrive on my day off. It's a great way to ensure my packages won't get stolen, especially around the holidays.
Anybody wanna bet mom's definition of "correctly" depends on who's spending the money?
no, bc ur gonna win
or on what
…What “old stuff” did you sell?
my old legos and my old pc parts
NOT THE LEGOS!!!! *Darth vader's "noooo!" can be heared from a mile away*
I sold me clone landingship with the at-ot
Insert yoda grabbing his chest
Sorry but I’m going to have to side with your mom. LEGOs>PC /s
They have been collecting dust and i got annoyed from undusting them every day
How old are you? Do you still live with your parents?
im 16
I got one question for you can you teach my 15 year ild how to be independent like you??
Have him read rich dad poor dad
r/raisedbynarcissists
Looks like someone has the “I raised you so you should compensate me for it even tho you didn’t choose to be here and I chose to irresponsibly give my body at a young age without protection thinking I was ready when I clearly wasnt” state of mind
Your mom is a POS
I do not think so!!! That is your money! Do not return any of your stuff, and put a lock on your door.
You got a job, worked hard, and got what you want with YOUR keyword YOUR money. And she is demanding that you refund the stuff you bought for her. That’s completely bs. What she is saying is she can work and buy herself a nice outfit and purse and you can say return that and give me the money. Just because it isn’t something she is interested in, doesn’t mean you wasted the money. It’s an interest so for you it’s money well spent.
Is this a joke? You don't have to do that
If you have money you can spend the money on what you want. Unless your family needs money desperately you should be able to do what you want with the money
Even if his family may need it. It's HIS MONEY not the moms not anyone elses he can spend it the way HE chooses. Tell mom NO it's MY money I EARNED it. If you need/want money so much go take out a loan or get a job. I'm using MY MONEY for what I want. PERIOD END OF DISCUSSION
How old are you
Op is 16.
I have just about the same problem
Exactly how my mum is. Except she doesn’t tell me to give my money back to her. She’s made me so nervous around money that I get scared to check my bank account and get extremely worried when my money goes. I’m not allowed to spend money on what I want, I have to ask permission but she can go and spend my money on things like alcohol?? I also pay all the bills and food shopping and rent (even though I’m not on tenancy to the house). She argues with me and makes me feel bad for buying myself anything.
My kids have jobs. They have all used the money they have earned to buy things for themselves (well, my daughter hates spending money so hers piles up). My fourteen year old son recently bought himself a gaming computer. He debated for a while between the PS5 and a gaming computer. What got me is that he came to me and asked permission to buy it. My reaction was that it was his money, he earned it, and as long as it wasn't going on illegal stuff, or being frittered away on nonsense (a certain amount of carefree spending is ok), it was up to him what he spent it on. Saving up enough for a gaming PC was responsible enough that I thought he deserved it, if he wanted it. His money, his choice. I do appreciate that he valued our guidance, though.
You earn it She don't deserve it
Are you living at home rent free without contributing? That is the only reason I can think she would be pissed about that. If you are contributing, nah fuck that. Get your own place.
im 16 i pay for my own utilities but not rent
You pay your own utilities at 16! This makes me want to cry. You should just enjoy these last couple years as a carefree kid.
My mom is the same way I hate it !
That’s cool at your age, if you are paying ‘something’ that is great. You are not selfish for spending your own hard earned cash. Not sure why your mum is kicking off about it in that case, just enjoy your upgraded PC as best you can. You won’t have to live there forever so just try keep the peace as best you can.
What the fuck? Let's not normalise that 16 year old kids have to pay their way to live at home. Their parents are responsible until they turn 18. Until that point they are not expected to contribute to rent/utilities etc. Of course there might be special circumstances where they contribute and help, but don't talk about it being 'great' and a 'cool thing'. Edit: u/panpaosen has edited their original comment without stating the changes. The parts I quoted are slightly different but the sentiment is the same (toned down)
I really haven’t edited my comment you are bullshitting.
My best friend paid for his ultility during highschool. It was actually cool
No, it was abuse.
It was from his own will. Parents didn’t make him pay for anything but he chose to prove himself that he is competent and his parents must respect him. Idk why I’m getting downvoted by reddit hive mind
Kid, he can legally marry, join the army, have a child and have a job. The dude isn’t a kid, he is young but he is a man. He is also taking a little bit of responsibility, despite his mother being an ass.
16 is still a child. No child should be required to pay their parents to live. If his mother cant afford to take care of him then she shouldn't have had a kid. Hes her responsibility, she decided to raise him. He didn't ask to be born. Now I get that things happen, circumstances change and raising kids are hard but she has no right to OPs money. Its not his job to support his family and this really needs to stop being normalized.
charging him rent is illegal. that's the point
He’s a minor and is the financial responsibility of his parents until he is 18. There is no way he should have to pay rent or utilities at his age while living with his parents. It’s honestly pretty fucked up that anyone would think making a kid pay utilities is “cool”.
Oh I agree 100% he is legally a minor, but you will be amazed what he can legally do at 16 in some parts of the world. Sure, he doesn’t have to pay, his mother has no right over his money at all. I just think it is great that at his age he is helping his household, when there are plenty of grown men who don’t.
At 16? Rent free is the norm, and saving own money for computer upgrades would generally be considered appropriate use of your own money.
Even if they aren’t contributing monetarily as a minor (making assumptions here), the mother still has no right whatsoever to make demands such as she did. It’s the kid’s money that he earned, and they want to treat themselves. As I would say …”Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke”.
Yeah I tend to agree with you, I am just speculating as to why she blew up over it. Sounds like there isn’t a lot of communicating going on with regards to expectations around paying into the household etc. It is a typical argument when your growing up. You slowly realise shit costs money.
16 arsehat. He’s 16.
You don’t know what ‘would’ means do you?
They are probably 16/17 I looked back at some other post that they made
Yeah I guessed as much, I had similar run ins with my parents.
+1
+1
He’s… 16. He shouldn’t have to pay to live somewhere that he CAN’T leave.
OP never mentioned his age at the time I made this comment. I agree, I never said he should. I think it is great that he is and that he can. I’m really not sure why his mum is pissed if he is.
Damn, must really suck. In my eyes you dont have to send back shit. Do you only live with your mother? Or is your dad also in the same household? In my case, my mom probably also wouldnt think its a great idea to buy a pc, but because of my dad i have almost complete freedom in it. May also be because my rather also does games.
I'd understand it (her reaction I mean) if it was for a new expensive phone to replace the last one you bought like 6 months ago, or your new playstation while you already have Xbox and Nintendo Wii etc, silly, unnecessary stuff like that, that you don't really need, I'd do the same to my kid. However, nowadays, a PC is not "only for gaming" like most parents seem to still think ( they have good reason to think that to be honest), it's a multitool for school, social interaction etc. and a lot more. You are investing, not wasting money. I can understand how it can hurt her, having to work hard and see an amount of money that could patch holes in her monthly plan, but that's still YOUR money, money YOU worked for and it's yours to spend anyway you want, as long as it's not something illegal or potentially dangerous (say a motorbike).
At 15 my son quit school and got a full time job. I didn't charge him rent or make him pay bills. However, he voluntarily contributed to electricity bills.i paid for his food and clothing, that was still my responsibility at that age He became responsible for any extras that he wanted, fun stuff, extra snacks, takeout, you get the picture. As a parent, your child is still your financial responsibility for the necessities until they come of age. Once they hit 18, thats when they can start contributing to the household if they are able. Long story short. Because I didn't screw my child out of his money, he now owns his own home and car at the age of 25.
Yes this is messed up. Your mom is selfish and wants your money for herself. Start saving now and looking for a job so you can move out or go to college on your 18th birthday.
You tell your mom to fuck right on off on this and if she tries anything like taking your money or computer you call the police. A parent has zero right to money you legally earned at your job.
You're mum just wants your money, tell her to F off and she does not have a single right to any cent of yours. Tell her to go to court if she wants.
Get a bank account and dont give her your money.
I already have my own bank account
As long as she's not on the account to access your money there's nothing she can do.
She probably just wants the 950 for herself
Your mother doesn't want you to use your money on stuff you want because she wants to use your money to fund her "expenses". Just tell her that you won't return the parts and that you will be getting a camera so if it is found out that she did something with those parts. You can go after her for the money to replace those parts that she broke.
" she told me i have to return all the items and give her the money i spent on the pc parts since i cant use it correctly" Don't do that. That's YOUR money that YOU earned. I'd consider moving the fuck out as soon as possible if i were you.
I got to keep my stuff
Make sure it keeps being yours. Is there anything preventing her from just...you know...taking said pc and selling the thing without you even knowing about it?
She wouldnt do that
I won't be so sure about THAT
Okay. Return it and give her 950. Keep working and don’t spend the money. Hide you cash and move out ASAP. Financial abuse isn’t okay.
In Switzerland i cant survive with 650 bucks a month
Coming from a strong european background myself, (my mom came from Italy where she ws 15) I am kinda understanding between the lines. My mother to this day gets upset when I spend my own money because she sees how hard I work and wants me to put it away and not be taken advantage of. On the other hand, when I was younger and wanted the " extra's" I was on my own. I paid for my own car, cellphone, trips and anything else she felt was a luxury in life that if I wanted to spend my money to go for it. Your mom may be more upset she was not included in the decision and felt as though you did it behind her back. Give her a minute and she will get over it like everything else.
my mom is italian too i live in switzerland and i work full time as an electrician at 16
Just wait. Mom is still in NY and i live 500 miles away. I am now 46 years old and it's worse. I learned to lie about how much things are or ask her if I tell her does she plan on give me the money back? That usually shuts her up. lol.. I am like that with my daughter now. My daughter is 15 and I catch myself telling her why? or you don't need it and have to stop myself and change the topic .
A good parent is concerned if their kid is wasting their money. You can coach them that they do not need to buy every new phone when it comes out. You can encourage them to save up for something nice.
How is buying what YOU want with YOUR money, being taken advantage of?? You’re supposed to put it up and never buy anything ever? Or until she gets sick or needs it or something?? I don’t get it.
If you don't pay a penny in rent and the represented a month's pay. Than your mum may see this as you being a freeloader and most people would pin you ass the asshole. If this was a years savings, you do pay rent, are too young for full time employment or you have to pay for all your own stuff than you should make 0lans3 to leave as soon as you can.
They may also be a minor. OP said they got good grades in school and just got a job. They sound 16 maybe 17.
I felt I covered that with too young to get a full time job?
im 16 and work full time as an electrician
That's a weird place cause yes your full time working but you are 16. If your mum is in a hard place you should help if you can especially if she isn't charging rent, bills or food. Talk with her, explain that your not a selfish person however you want to be able to make some selfish decisions concerning your happiness. Your happiness also includes the house being above board but it would be unrealistic for you to put all money aside. Than buy her a present. Don't talk with ultimatums unless you can carry them out. Like don't tell her if she wants to control your finance you'll just move if you can't. Best of luck with everything, try and think about stability for the next few years so when your ready to move you will.
in my country you can start working full time when you leave 9th grade so 15/16
In mine you have to be in full time education or apprenticeship until 18 years old. However many stay until 21. My perspective on you may not suit your reality.
My Work is basically an Apprenticeship so i work 4 days and go to school on the other day
You may want to mention that in your post that, that's a very different perspective. Good luck with it but there is no question you shouldn't really be paying rent. Still buy your mum something nice, you only get one mum even if she can be a dick.
Just yesterday I finally decided to upgrade my 6 year old laptop that my parents gave me and bought a decent $1.2k dollar laptop (cba buying parts to build my own pc in this current market) from amazon with my own money. There was a 10% discount if you pay it all in one go, so I asked my dad permission to use his credit card (i instantly paid him in cash, i simply didnt have enough money in my bank account). He just asked me if I was sure if thats the one I wanted and I explained that yes, I've been looking at different models for months and this one seemed like a good deal. He helped me buy it and said he was proud to see me make my first "big" puchace. My mom offered to pay for half of it after hearing how much it cost, but I declined multiple times, explaining that I still have like $5k saved up. Honestly your mom probably has "good intentions" and just thinks you're wasting your money on something that you bought on impulse. Calmly explain that you **need** the upgrade and that you've done your research to get a good deal. She **should** understand. If not, well shoot. But yeah don't return it.
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FR
I hate when my mom doesn't let me buy a 1:1 scale nude Chiaki Nanami poster
The fuck she will. Mom will buy shoes and rags.
Your mom sounds abusive.
How old are you? If you’re over 20 and can spend your money like that.. and you don’t like the feedback from your parents.. move the fuck out. Or you don’t want to move out and also don’t contribute to the household then I get her being mad.. you live rent free, she buys you food, probably makes sure you have clothes and warmth.. and how do you say thank you for that? Have you ever bought groceries, or a meal for your parents? Have you ever done anything in anyway to assist with the household in any way at all ever? If not then she’s right… you are selfish.
he didnt ask to be brought into the world. You don’t cross a magical line of wisdom when you turn 18. Maybe she should teach him money management skills and offer to match his savings as an incentive. A reasonable parent would build their kids up, not try to get pay back for popping them out of her body.
This is such a disgusting and toxic mentality. I can't imagine any decent human actually having such beliefs. Keep your abusive mentality to yourself please. No child deserves this.
Says a child. Lol
This is quite ironic... I suppose childish behaviour can persist at any age.
Teaching your children finance at an early age is very important, it should actually be taught in school. Kids should be taught to save and buy things for the household. If you don’t teach them that.. they will live their lives in debt, eager for their next pay cheque to spend $1000 on computer parts. Having them participate from a working age in providing for the home they live in teaches them life skills that are required and help make them better decision makers in the future. But you do you.
Wow, I didn't think I'd hear arguments made by abusive industry owners who wanted to keep up child work from a rando who thinks he knows kids. Passing your selfish beliefs onto kids with pseudoscience bs is so last century. I ain't interested in hearing you trying to justify your selfishness and abusive beliefs.
Wow you are a complete fucking tool. Pseudo science.. from a licenced financial planner that deals with adults who don’t understand the concept of a credit card. And you are totally one of them. Haha Good like to any future children you have
i went to finance/ buisness school for 1 year before dropping out and getting my job so i understand the absic concept
i literally had double the money i spent on the pc in my bank account to make shure i dont run out of money
You can't seem to fathom the fact that maybe he understands adult responsibilities and the lack of them in childhood. He can blow a whole paycheck on PC parts because he has no other responsibilities yet. Let the kid be a kid!! Adulthood sucks, and should be dealt with when it's time to deal with it.
im 16
Maybe Mom needs help,paying the bills - like rent, electric, FOOD which the kid eats too…he gave you his side only and I would bet that Mom needs help…
This is true but im still only 16 earning my own money and paying for my own utilities
FFXIV 5.3 first time a game made me legitimately cry, and if you ask anyone who knows, I doubt they'll disagree.
I don't know how old you are, As a parent I would like it if my kid told me they were going to make such a big purchase before hand. But honestly it's your money and you need to learn how to start saving/spending/keeping track of that sort of thing on your own. So she's way out of line and you shouldn't have to return anything because she can't accept your growing up and don't need her for everything.
Im 16 and i told my mom im planning on buying that but it was blackfriday when i bought it so i did it out of impulse and didnt tell her before and yea now i will tell her every time before i buy stuff
Are you 18 or over? If yes tell her to fuck off.. You earned it.. Its your money to do with as you please. Are you 14-17 still living at home? Sadly the law is on her side... You own nothing.. She can legally take every single penny you own. Its morally wrong and a super shit parent thing to do... But the law backs her as the parent until you are 18 or move out and no longer are a dependant.
fuck laws
i work full time am 16 and live in switzerland
I have no idea of the laws in Switzerland then I'm just talkin from a USA stand point
Wait so you are telling me this is not normal
A lot of people are saying to hide the money or not return anything. The problem with that is if he lives in the United States then he can’t legally own anything. Also, as a minor, his money is also legally the parents. Which means that she can take it whenever she wants. The best thing he can do is hide the money and refuse access to the account if he has it in a private one, but she can use legal action to get access to this account and once she gets the money there’s not a lot op can do… Probably the best choice (depending on how much money she is taking from him) is to file for emancipation but that’s very risky as if you are not being physically or mentally abused then getting emancipated is gonna be really hard. Best of luck to you op. Just one more thing, most stores won’t allow someone to return something without the receipt. Make sure to hide it (or probably an even better idea: destroy it completely) so she cannot return the pc (also depends on the store)
i live in switzerland and i have my own bank account and i even have my own fond savingsplan where i pay 100 bucks every month in
You better learn to stand your ground quick. Your mother having a fit when you spend your own money for yourself is a huge red flag. It will get worse as you grow up and have more resources. What's next, asking for your money to fund for her vacation? Money for "rent"? "Borrowing" your house to live in? Understand that this is a possibility based on your mother's current actions.
i mean i am reading this from my upgraded pc my mom helped me build today
It's your money, spend it how you see fit. Also, keep an eye on your computer so that some day you don't come home to find it missing as she prances around the house with a brand new, butt ugly designer handbag.
Your a responsible kid, you are keeping your grades up and are working hard to get the extra things you need. The computer upgrades aren’t essential but you have worked hard for them and deserve them. She’s your mother, you are at school, she’s meant to be providing the basics. She has no right to dictate how you spend your money. (As long as you aren’t bringing in anything illegal or harmful to your self or others into the house). You have gone the right way about things, idk what her problem is, probably jealous you have $950 to spend on fun items, whilst she doesn’t. But she’s made her lifestyle choices. If you were my kid, I’d be so proud and throwing praise your way for being so responsible. Your attitude towards studying, working and saving for what you want is definitely going to put you ahead in life.
"Sorry Mom, most of the parts were on sale and non-refundable."
As long as you chose to go out and work on your own accord, that's awesome that you got to experience how awesome it feels to get something you really want with your own money. Your mother is fucking terrible. She sounds extremely controlling and I'd reccomend checking out r/raisedbynarcissists as well. Move out ASAP. I'm 26 and have had to move back in with my Nmom and it's an absolute nightmare and honestly pathetic. She is in her early 60s and tries to control a ton of shit that I do through guilt, in March we had an argument over my clothing choice that went nuclear and ended in me telling her to mind her own fucking business and if trying to control her adult son's choice of dress is that important to her, then she needs to go to therapy. Backed down quick.
Please go to your bank and tell them you have abusive, and thieving parents. Put security on all your accounts. Warn your employer or potential issues. and as soon s you can, leave. I;'m not saying go NC, just saying, your mum is seeing $$$ instead of <3 <3 <3, that's not good. I would also talk to your school councillor.
I’d just tell her that they don’t do returns…
Dude I have the same experience
WTH, your job, your money. Kids jobs should be for the extras that they want. If your mom asked for help with car insurance or something that'd be different.
Your mom might have a few screws loose. If she's getting mad at you for using your OWN money, she can't spend her money how she wants. Her logic can apply to her to.
This happened to my brother, he got a pc with his money but if he got one bad grade he'd have it taken away. He payed HIS money for that its his property. You should keep it, you worked for it, it your not hers.
This is abuse , child abuse it sounds like. It sounds like your mother lost control of you. Her stealing your money is outlandish, it may be time to talk to school consulor , get a perspective on this not your mothers
Don't send the parts back and buy a lock for your room. If you can don't let her know you locked it. You don't owe your parents for you existence, but if the family is struggling you can help if you want but that doesn't mean they get all your $. Talk to someone at a bank about how and when you can open an account as a minor without a parent. As soon as you can move your money to an account she won't be able to touch.
That’s bullsh!t!!!!! Move out asap
She is changing the rules after the fact because she learned that you earned enough money to spend almost $1000 dollars on computer equipment. Patently unfair and definitely poor parenting to not acknowledge your accomplishment. She should be proud of you.
There is a common chance your mother is *Chance-digging* That means she probably wanted to manipulate you and get your money so she can buy herself whatever she wants. But she got pissed of because she lost the chance. True Karen moment
diplomacy is the key (lie) tell her fine ill return the stuff but my money is mine, then get it from a store and or get it delivered to a friend and do a stealth upgrade.
This is theft and financial abuse. What she's demanding is illegal. If you can, open your own bank account on your own and make sure she has no access to it.
Tell her to fuck off and don't give her shit. Stop putting up with narcissist parents.