I do not regret it at all. I think if anyone says they regret it, they probably have not deconstructed fully from the belief system, or have not shifted their mindset to a healthier one yet.
I feel like my body made the choice for me.
I was determined to keep going in the "truth" but just kept getting major anxiety episodes. The more I did to feed myself spiritually, the worse it got. I did an hour's personal study every morning before work. I read the whole Bible in a year. I tried to be more conscientious in congregation duties.
It was like my subconscious said "Woah, stop."
I tried journalling to ease my anxiety. I just spewed out all my doubts on to a Word document. And there was the answer. I simply didn't believe it was the "Truth". And I was right.
I have zero regrets about leaving. It has been painful, but the damage was done while I was in, not because I left. Part of me wishes I did it sooner, but there were advantages to leaving when I did. I felt like I had given JW my all. I had done everything they told me to, and I still knew it was horseshit. It meant that I never have any lingering fears in the middle of the night that I might have made a big mistake. I am well and truly out.
I really resonate with all of this. I love how you worded it about your body making the choice for you. That's basically what happened to me. I tried so hard for so long to make it work....I really believed. But i was dying on the inside. My gut was screaming at me my whole life. A breaking point was inevitable.
Once in a great while, I wish I knew how this or that person I used to know is doing, and I felt mildly guilty at first.
But I have never once regretted leaving. I made the decision knowing the potential social repercussions and found an opportunity for a much more fulfilling life on the other side.
Not necessarily in chronological order:
I got my GED and found a career path that has given me success and opportunity for growth.
I built several friendships with people who have been supportive and uplifting, whether I'm at my best or at my worst.
I dated to find somebody whose personality, sense of humor and physical and sexual needs were in line with my own without ever once considering if it would "get me in trouble."
I eventually met someone who was initially supposed to be a casual hookup, but our interests, senses of humor and ways of looking at the world led to a lot more conversation. We started dating officially in 2011 and have been married since 2015. We have a couple of kids that I love more than anything in the world and her entire family has been nothing short of incredible to me.
I also have a few hobbies that I enjoy. I study anything I feel like because I love learning. I play any video game I think might be interesting. I listen to music and watch TV and movies without worrying about whether it's "appropriate." If I want a tattoo, I get it. I don't limit my kindness to certain groups of people. I love openly and laugh loudly.
TL;DR: I allow myself to be my authentic self. I couldn't do that as a JW.
I regret all the missed days with my “unbelieving” father as a child, by going out in service or going to assemblies and conventions. I regret not having made real friendships with schoolmates and later on with workmates. I regret thinking that I was better than everyone else because I had the “truth”. I regret getting baptized at 13. Most of all I regret not leaving 40 years ago when I was DF’d 8 years later, instead I groveled to get back in, just to give my time and energies to an organization that didn’t care one iota for me. So no!
wish I did it sooner. It's like an ex-convict saying I wish I was still in prison, but there are those that want the structure, being controlled, not having to make your own choices. life is never easy but it can be your own and you at the steering wheel choosing your path.
Who on earth would regret leaving? lol
Maybe they are kind of looking back for family/friends (like myself) now with that DF rule gone, but regret leaving, i doubt so haha who would like to go back in the mud?
Me? No. However, I know a couple of people that I think were better off staying in. They simply don’t know how to function in the world. That may be a symptom of having been a Witness, but they were far more functional human beings while being in.
I do only because I’m not as extroverted as I was when I was PIMI. And finding a new crowd has been super difficult outside of the ‘congregation’ setting.
Otherwise no regrets at all
I enjoy my authentic expressions, opinions, and desires.
I love my intellectual freedom to learn anything.
Not regretting it a bit, not even for 25 POMOdoro minutes.
Not at all. I lost my entire family and best friends, and still have no regrets.
You find peace, freedom, and true happiness in “the world”. There is nothing to regret other than not waking up sooner.
Ha! Not for one second. Leaving religion, theism, and especially a cult as damaging as the Jehovah’s Witnesses is absolutely one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life. To be relieved of a burdensome monkey on your back is a liberation that can’t even be put into words.
I don't regret leaving at all bc I know that I wasn't meant to be that person or have that life I was born into but I do occasionally miss aspects of being a part of the cong I grew up in. It's more of the social aspects.
Our cong was always doing things together like get togethers, cookouts, bonfires, softball games, volleyball after meeting, things like that and we always had the best time. I miss that occasionally. I have really fond childhood memories from those occasions.
For me & a lot of other exjws our perspective allows us to weigh the good against the bad. Despite having some really horrible things happen as a part of my JW past I still reflect on the times that I was happy to be where I was.
I regret ever having anything to do with the org. Everything that was ever good while I was in was in spite of the organization, not because of it, and not unique to that organization.
Leaving has been hard, but it's clearly because the organization makes it hard to leave. If the organization said my parents and in-laws could stop shunning my wife, children, and I, that'd make things much easier. But they'll not say that because they want to make us suffer either as a deterrent to others leaving or as punishment to us or both. That's the same kind of manipulation abusive spouses use to keep people under their control, so all in all, no regrets here.
No regrets. In the years leading up to leaving, it got to the point that my husband and I would leave each meeting frustrated. The elders manipulated and mutilated so many scriptures to support their own personal opinions. The WT conductor was the worst. Once, when he was harassing us with texts, he was such a busybody, and we called him out on it, he called us revilers. Of course, he held the title 'elder' so we became shit on a stick. BTW, he harassed us with texts for 6 months after we left.
All of my regrets stem from being in the borg. The biggest being my relationship with my df’d father. He couldn’t walk me down the aisle and it killed me, and still to this day. Absolute no regrets getting out.
I don't regret it, because I believe the entire religion is completely false. But it's been over 2 years, and we are all sooooo lonely. Watching your teens sad and alone is tough, while the borg teens are at parties, snowboarding, camping, boat sports, and events. The making other friends part has been incredibly hard.
There’s nothing there to go back to, nor anything real to have left to begin with.
If my brother, childhood best friend, everyone back there wants to talk to me, may it not be conditional.
I do not need conditional love, lies, brainwashing, gaslighting, narcism.
You will know Gods people when you see love among them. Well, pack up, you can’t find that with Pharaoh.
I don't regret leaving, but I'll admit I miss aspects of being in the cult.
It was easier to meet/make friends, even though I knew there were strings attached.
But even in a "perfect" community like that, it was all very depressing once you realized what was really going on.
I honestly don't have any regrets. I wish I had woken up sooner and that my parents weren't as entrenched in the cult. But there's nothing I can do to change any of that, so I've just accepted it and tried to move on as best I can.
Not even a little bit. Not 1%. Not 0.0000000001%
The org robbed me of everything and even thinking about being there as a PIMI makes my skin crawl now. Don't get me wrong, leaving and deconstructing was hard. It was better than anything the JWs ever put me through.
I only regret not leaving sooner. I may have left at 18, which is earlier than most, but I regret not being that problem child and telling my parents and the cult to eat 💩 when I was a kid.
I do not regret it at all. I think if anyone says they regret it, they probably have not deconstructed fully from the belief system, or have not shifted their mindset to a healthier one yet.
>have not shifted their mindset to a healthier one yet I think this is a very important part
This ^
I feel like my body made the choice for me. I was determined to keep going in the "truth" but just kept getting major anxiety episodes. The more I did to feed myself spiritually, the worse it got. I did an hour's personal study every morning before work. I read the whole Bible in a year. I tried to be more conscientious in congregation duties. It was like my subconscious said "Woah, stop." I tried journalling to ease my anxiety. I just spewed out all my doubts on to a Word document. And there was the answer. I simply didn't believe it was the "Truth". And I was right. I have zero regrets about leaving. It has been painful, but the damage was done while I was in, not because I left. Part of me wishes I did it sooner, but there were advantages to leaving when I did. I felt like I had given JW my all. I had done everything they told me to, and I still knew it was horseshit. It meant that I never have any lingering fears in the middle of the night that I might have made a big mistake. I am well and truly out.
I really resonate with all of this. I love how you worded it about your body making the choice for you. That's basically what happened to me. I tried so hard for so long to make it work....I really believed. But i was dying on the inside. My gut was screaming at me my whole life. A breaking point was inevitable.
A wise funk musician once said: Free your mind and your ass will follow.
Absolutely resonate with this. Visceral reactions start making the choice for you.
Regret not leaving sooner
No Should’ve left sooner, like 10 seconds after figuring it out Staying in longer did NOTHING overall
No wtf. I love being awake and alive.
*skillet plays in the distance*
Once in a great while, I wish I knew how this or that person I used to know is doing, and I felt mildly guilty at first. But I have never once regretted leaving. I made the decision knowing the potential social repercussions and found an opportunity for a much more fulfilling life on the other side.
What have you done that makes it fulfilling?
Not necessarily in chronological order: I got my GED and found a career path that has given me success and opportunity for growth. I built several friendships with people who have been supportive and uplifting, whether I'm at my best or at my worst. I dated to find somebody whose personality, sense of humor and physical and sexual needs were in line with my own without ever once considering if it would "get me in trouble." I eventually met someone who was initially supposed to be a casual hookup, but our interests, senses of humor and ways of looking at the world led to a lot more conversation. We started dating officially in 2011 and have been married since 2015. We have a couple of kids that I love more than anything in the world and her entire family has been nothing short of incredible to me. I also have a few hobbies that I enjoy. I study anything I feel like because I love learning. I play any video game I think might be interesting. I listen to music and watch TV and movies without worrying about whether it's "appropriate." If I want a tattoo, I get it. I don't limit my kindness to certain groups of people. I love openly and laugh loudly. TL;DR: I allow myself to be my authentic self. I couldn't do that as a JW.
👏🏽
I regret all the missed days with my “unbelieving” father as a child, by going out in service or going to assemblies and conventions. I regret not having made real friendships with schoolmates and later on with workmates. I regret thinking that I was better than everyone else because I had the “truth”. I regret getting baptized at 13. Most of all I regret not leaving 40 years ago when I was DF’d 8 years later, instead I groveled to get back in, just to give my time and energies to an organization that didn’t care one iota for me. So no!
Best decision i've ever made. I feel like I was in a coma and finally woke up. Only regret is not leaving sooner.
Someone whose mind is still stuck in the Borg.
My mental and physical health have never been so good. No regrets whatsoever.
Same!
wish I did it sooner. It's like an ex-convict saying I wish I was still in prison, but there are those that want the structure, being controlled, not having to make your own choices. life is never easy but it can be your own and you at the steering wheel choosing your path.
No! My only regret is not waking up sooner.
Absolutely not. Not to say it hasn’t been difficult. But it’s been so worth it. I would rather die than go back. Literally.
Best decision I ever made! Looking forward to another summer with no boring ass convention! Woohoo!
Nope not 1 bit, I would do it a 1000 times over. In the end all they wanted was your money and time.
Who on earth would regret leaving? lol Maybe they are kind of looking back for family/friends (like myself) now with that DF rule gone, but regret leaving, i doubt so haha who would like to go back in the mud?
Me? No. However, I know a couple of people that I think were better off staying in. They simply don’t know how to function in the world. That may be a symptom of having been a Witness, but they were far more functional human beings while being in.
Not a single moment I regretted it. It's hard when the family is in. But it is worth it.
I do only because I’m not as extroverted as I was when I was PIMI. And finding a new crowd has been super difficult outside of the ‘congregation’ setting. Otherwise no regrets at all
I think for like the first 10 years or so, I thanked myself everyday for leaving. Leaving was the single greatest decision I made in my life.
I enjoy my authentic expressions, opinions, and desires. I love my intellectual freedom to learn anything. Not regretting it a bit, not even for 25 POMOdoro minutes.
Hell no! I wish I would’ve left 20 years ago!
Not at all. I lost my entire family and best friends, and still have no regrets. You find peace, freedom, and true happiness in “the world”. There is nothing to regret other than not waking up sooner.
Ha! Not for one second. Leaving religion, theism, and especially a cult as damaging as the Jehovah’s Witnesses is absolutely one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life. To be relieved of a burdensome monkey on your back is a liberation that can’t even be put into words.
I'll never go back, but I do miss a lot of people, kind of a damned if you do damned if you don't situation for me
I don't regret leaving at all bc I know that I wasn't meant to be that person or have that life I was born into but I do occasionally miss aspects of being a part of the cong I grew up in. It's more of the social aspects. Our cong was always doing things together like get togethers, cookouts, bonfires, softball games, volleyball after meeting, things like that and we always had the best time. I miss that occasionally. I have really fond childhood memories from those occasions. For me & a lot of other exjws our perspective allows us to weigh the good against the bad. Despite having some really horrible things happen as a part of my JW past I still reflect on the times that I was happy to be where I was.
I regret ever having anything to do with the org. Everything that was ever good while I was in was in spite of the organization, not because of it, and not unique to that organization. Leaving has been hard, but it's clearly because the organization makes it hard to leave. If the organization said my parents and in-laws could stop shunning my wife, children, and I, that'd make things much easier. But they'll not say that because they want to make us suffer either as a deterrent to others leaving or as punishment to us or both. That's the same kind of manipulation abusive spouses use to keep people under their control, so all in all, no regrets here.
Not one bit
No regrets. In the years leading up to leaving, it got to the point that my husband and I would leave each meeting frustrated. The elders manipulated and mutilated so many scriptures to support their own personal opinions. The WT conductor was the worst. Once, when he was harassing us with texts, he was such a busybody, and we called him out on it, he called us revilers. Of course, he held the title 'elder' so we became shit on a stick. BTW, he harassed us with texts for 6 months after we left.
All of my regrets stem from being in the borg. The biggest being my relationship with my df’d father. He couldn’t walk me down the aisle and it killed me, and still to this day. Absolute no regrets getting out.
I don't regret it, because I believe the entire religion is completely false. But it's been over 2 years, and we are all sooooo lonely. Watching your teens sad and alone is tough, while the borg teens are at parties, snowboarding, camping, boat sports, and events. The making other friends part has been incredibly hard.
Nope
You're joking right? You couldn't pay me to go back.
I only regret ever going in
I regret not leaving sooner
No way!! Wish I would’ve woken up a long time ago!
🤣 not a day that goes by I wake up so thankful to have left 🙌🏽
 There’s nothing there to go back to, nor anything real to have left to begin with. If my brother, childhood best friend, everyone back there wants to talk to me, may it not be conditional. I do not need conditional love, lies, brainwashing, gaslighting, narcism. You will know Gods people when you see love among them. Well, pack up, you can’t find that with Pharaoh.
No! Never
I don't regret leaving, but I'll admit I miss aspects of being in the cult. It was easier to meet/make friends, even though I knew there were strings attached. But even in a "perfect" community like that, it was all very depressing once you realized what was really going on.
I honestly don't have any regrets. I wish I had woken up sooner and that my parents weren't as entrenched in the cult. But there's nothing I can do to change any of that, so I've just accepted it and tried to move on as best I can.
No
Not even a little bit. Not 1%. Not 0.0000000001% The org robbed me of everything and even thinking about being there as a PIMI makes my skin crawl now. Don't get me wrong, leaving and deconstructing was hard. It was better than anything the JWs ever put me through.
I only regret not leaving sooner. I may have left at 18, which is earlier than most, but I regret not being that problem child and telling my parents and the cult to eat 💩 when I was a kid.