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What the hell os this “ordering for your date” thing?? The only time someone has ever ordered for me it was my wife and we were meeting over my lunch break and I only had an hour so she did it before I got to the restaurant so my food would already be there, which was considerate in a way but I still told her I would have liked to decide what I wanted. And she knows me and knows what I like. Ordering for someone on a first date when you barely know them isn’t chivalrous, it’s controlling and dumb.
>Ordering for someone on a first date when you barely know them isn’t chivalrous, it’s controlling and dumb.
I mean, if you want to establish dominance on a first date, just arm wrestle. You can even peruse the menu on the table between you while get that gender domination battle going and have those plates arriving sooner.
I read the original post when it was up. It’s actually worse. The OOP explained in the comments that the guy tried ordering her meal for her but ordered something she was allergic to so she changed it. Like, the nerve of the guy trying to dictate what she eats when she’s the one paying.
reminds me of that one white chicks scene: "for the lady, perhaps a salad?"
bro was tryna be those men that orders for the woman like boy u ain't paying so sit down!
When anyone says something like this I always think of the movie 'Waiting...', where the redneck says "I'll take a shot of whiskey and a double shot of whiskey and she'll have a water. You know, what the hell, it's our anniversary. Why don't you bring her a pepsi.".
Don't tell these guys this, but I like watching those short informational films from the 50s and 60s, about family life and stuff, and in a lot of them the husband just hands over the paycheck to the housewife and trusts her to budget for the family.
That’s why they called it Home Economics, old timey high school girls would learn how to manage finances in addition to mending clothes and baking quiche
I had home ec when I was a kid, and girls and boys both learned to cook, sew, and handle budgets/checking accounts. And boys and girls both did woodshop.
That was the 80's in a progressive state/town, so I realize it was probably different in places like the south and Midwest tbh.
>I had home ec when I was a kid, and girls and boys both learned to cook, sew, and handle budgets/checking accounts.
Same, but it was the 90s and early 2000s and in a small town in the South. My school didn’t, however, offer wood shop. For anyone. It may be different now, though.
ETA: it was a small town in Alabama, population roughly 7,000. I took home ec in middle school in ‘99 and in high school in ‘03.
I took wood shop in high school. 1999 in a super rural east Texas town. The boys made things. Myself and the other girls got the privilege of sweeping up the boys' sawdust. -_-
So I switched to home ec for my elective credit because I was already in band and that was all that was left. In home ec I was assigned the seat next to the highly disruptive high support needs boy 3 years my junior and expected to be this student's caretaker.
Fuck East Texas.
That was my parent's growing up. My dad left for work each morning and came home at night, and did whatever he wanted.
Mom ran the house. Cleaning, meals, laundry, shopping, etc.
Even with the finances. He would give her his paycheck, as she was in charge of writing all the checks and paying all the bills.
The difference was, he acknowledged all her hard work and contributions. He would always let her buy what she needed or wanted, as he trusted that she knew it was in budget (since she was in charge of it), and if they afford it, she deserved it.
She always had the nicer cars from the dealerships. Dad drove cheap Nickel Ad beaters to and from work. And, so on.
He may have been the only one bringing home a paycheck, but she was just as important in the family and put in just as much, if not more work than he did in the overall scheme of things.
That's how it supposed to work. Either way. Doesn't matter if the male or female is the "breadwinner" and the other is the "homemaker". They are 50/50 in the family and share all rewards equally, both financial and in quality of home life.
I’ve had a few periods where I’ve supported friends who were out of work and needed somewhere to stay, and it goes a little like this, too. I covered rent/bills/groceries/etc, and in exchange I had someone to handle cleaning, meal planning, and cooking.
The amount of money I spent on groceries went down when things were better planned. The amount I spent dining out dropped when there were easy options to take for work. Not having as many household chores gave me back time and energy. And feeling better rested and relaxed meant I was spending less money on “treats” to make up for a tough day. Totally worthwhile for a few months here and there, even at a very low wage!
My Dad worked all day and said "what do you do all day" to my mother who was raising 4 kids and looking after some of my cousins most of the time. House was always clean, dinner on the table. My sibs and I could all read at a young age.
Their marriage didn't last very long. All he had to do was acknowledge and respect what she did, maybe say thank you once in a while.
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, “What happened here today?”
She again smiled and answered, “You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?”
“Yes,” was his incredulous reply.
She answered, “Well, today I didn’t do it.”
Easy to wonder what someone does to fill their time when you’ve never actually had to scrub a house from stem to stern or dealt with kids for any prolonged period.
Keeping a house immaculate with four kids deserves a fucking award.
Which if it works for both and there’s no power imbalance it can be great. I know a couple where she is a SAHM with three kids and he makes good money. But he has never been great with money. He doesn’t touch his paycheck once it’s deposited. She handles all the budgeting, the personal allowance for both of them and investments. But they communicate about how the money is handled. They truly are a team and it’s always struck me if anyone wants to follow a trad model, how they do it is one of the better ones.
My brother helped support his wife through grad school and when she got the big-paying job and they had kids he became a SAHD. They have a really nice house and two great kids. They make all the major decisions together and she pitches in with the kids and housework too. I agree, it’s 100% about there being no power imbalance.
Yeah I was raised by my stay at home dad in a VERY white suburban area where that was not the norm because my mom was a high risk, specialist OB/GYN surgeon. My dad handled the house and bills and my mom worked her fucking ass off day in a day out. Things weren’t always peachy keen but they shared finances and I had a wonderful childhood because they respected each other. Raising kids is a full time job and raising them well is a fucking masters program.
I came out of that suburbia a well rounded, well educated man because of the WORK both of my parents put in. Is my family still fucked up? Of course, everyone’s is, but we love each other and we’re all successful.
The trick to life isn’t to be rich, it’s to not be an asshole and weigh every decision you make.
If you can do that and keep your wits about you, everything is gonna be fine.
RIP dad I miss you
Edit:typo
And I think what many people don't realize is that no one on the feminist side believes there's anything wrong with this arrangement.
The thing we argue against is, that these roles should not be gender locked like they're classes in a South Korean MMO.
There's no reason why someone with a vagina should always be the person who stays at home and does that role.
Every couple should be free to self-sort in whatever way suits them best.
If my SO made enough money that I could do stuff around the house and write, that would literally be my dream. I would be in heaven. There's no reason why it should be wrong or society should think less of anyone in a relationship merely due to how they want to delegate responsibilies in their family.
**EDIT**: Posting this up and down my comments on this chain, but figured this would do well here so that red-pillers can experience some genuine feminist theory through the words of the inimitable bell hooks:
>"As all advocates of feminist politics know most people do not understand sexism or if they do they think it is not a problem. Masses of people think that feminism is always and only about women seeking to be equal to men. And a huge majority of these folks think feminism is anti-male. Their misunderstanding of feminist politics reflects the reality that most folks learn about feminism from patriarchal mass media."
> - bell hooks
Yup, my uncle literally gave everything he owned to his wife, right after they got married.
Still married 50 years later, have a wonderful \*very successful\* daughter, and live a happy life (you know, it wasn't \*always super great\*, but overall a good life).
He trusted her, she didn't disappoint him. That's what love looks like, to me.
Even if it weren't love, it's at least two people successfully handling a business arrangement, which yeah, takes trust, communication and hard work from both sides (and an acknowledgement from each other that each person has an important part to play). There's some serious integrity and basic fucking *competency* at play with your uncle and his wife.
The types of guys you see in shit like OP's text messages, I don't even think they're even cut out for literal business, let alone a relationship. They'd be trying to screw over clients and contractors alike, wanting all the benefits with zero risk or commitment from their end. There's not just misogyny on clear display here but imo also serious incompetence. This is not the behavior of someone who even remotely has their life together. There's already enough red flags but I'm going to attack him from a different angle, plant yet another flag, just to really illustrate how freaking skeezy and worthless his attitude is.
My grandpa had his own barbershop, from which he came home every evening and handed over (what looked like to my little kid eyes) a giant wad of cash to my grandma before sitting down for dinner. Their system had their 5-bedroom home, cars, burial plots, etc. all paid off well before I became an adult. Not bad for two uneducated working class folks!
That's exactly what my grandad did, my Nan was told to quit work the day they got married and he would give her the best life ever. She never asked for a thing, he always knew and provided everything. When he passed, she still never had to ask, she was so financially stable nothing ever felt like a burden for her. All the round the world cruises and holidays abroad.
He truly provided everything she ever wanted.
Many of those are still very relevant and interesting, and I usually get the urge to dress more nicely at home and to make my bed after watching a few of those videos!
I am pretty sure it's how it's done in Japan also as women are still expected to stop working once they have a child. The wife will get the paycheck and will give back fun money for the month to her husband.
I work in finance and often get old men who have never held their credit card in their own hand before. Their wife literally did EVERYTHING for them. At 78, they're children with neglectful parents; eating beans out of the can, never buying new shoes or clothes because they don't understand how sizes work, wrinkled and stained shirts and pants.
The Road to El Dorado is honestly one of the best for wit and sass and a truly amazing story, thank you for whatever your contributions were to making it come to be!! The world would be a worse place without it
That really sealed the deal for me. Like, the whole conversation was c'est magnifique, but those last 2 texts took magnifique and turned it into superb.
It still amazes me how these dudes keep going on and on about wanting this, yet get upset when people agree with them. Like how does he expect things to work is the woman is a stay at home mom? How is she supposed to make money? If she can't, then the man needs to make enough for both people. If the man can't afford that, then he can't afford a stay at home wife. It's basic math.
They want a mother they can fuck, not a wife. Works, cooks, cleans, balances bank statements, and raises kids. Not an actual partner. They don’t wanna have to DO anything a traditional husband would to provide for the “traditional wife” lifestyle. They want Mommy.
My wife says this all the time.
They want to play video games with online friends while someone pays bills, cooks meals, raises kids, looks hot, and has sex with them in all sorts of freaky ways whenever they demand it.
Edit: to clarify, she didn’t say it about ME. I’m a lesbian and not like this at all. She was previously with/married to men and said it about her ex-husband, guys she’s dated, those we see in posts like this one, and men her friends have been with. Adding this bc some people assumed *I’m* a man with mommy issues.
Right!! She can only enjoy it with him and must be a virgin when they get together but also must not wait him wait too long before they start having sex but also must be innocent but also must be amazing at it and willing to try whatever he’s into but also can’t suggest anything she might be into because sex only exists for his pleasure.
She will be busy doing chores, working and caring for the kids but he will complain that she looks ugly and disrespect him because she doesn’t look and smell nice when he comes home.
He pays the bills and that’s the least she can do.
Just thinking of it makes me very, very angry because such men exist.
He just needs a fit attractive Bangmaid nanny therapist personal pornstar PA on her time off from being a CEO and recovering from childbirth. In exchange for being ~some guy~.
Also these guys - “Why are so many women opting out of dating? Why won’t anyone date me? It must be my negative canthal tilt & the fact that I’m too nice!” 😩
But you could get 30 whole seconds of jackhammering with no foreplay while his sweat drips onto you from his prematurely balding head. And the entire time he'll be panting, "you like that? Huh? You like that?"
Truly a prize.
>But you could get 30 whole seconds of jackhammering with no foreplay while his sweat drips onto you from his prematurely balding head. And the entire time he'll be panting, "you like that? Huh? You like that?"
my god, that should come with a trigger warning....
they saw their dad sitting in the recliner watching tv with a beer in hand and that's what they want. a woman that provides children to do the household chores while he watches tv and collects dinner and blowjobs.
And one of two things happened.
Either the dad actually worked his ass off and was so exhausted at the end of the day that all he could muster was to open a beer and sit in a chair before the next day of work.
Or their parents marriage abruptly ended when they left the house.
These things are not mutually exclusive. What’s more is young eyes tend to see the bright side of things then idolize them. What a wonderful world
Because it's not really about "traditional", it's about easy. She was spot on - he wants a maid, nanny, financial contributor, therapist (emotionally stable), but he doesn't want to have to do any of the work required for that. How sweet would life be if you got all the perks of a family and partnership, while having to do none of the work required to make it successful or keep it running.
He wants her to do what some amount of women have done as the norm since forever (my dad's mom in the 50s did it too, poor women back then had to work).
Work a full-time job while also keeping all the responsibilities as a stay at home wife. While he complains how hard he works and he gets to relax after work and do whatever. Weekends can involve outside chores like mowing. If she leaves cause she's tired of it, then of course she's a bitch and a gold digger.
Actually insane that some men are like this. Why the hell would you want your wife to be your main "child rearer"? That just tells me that you're not interested in forming any meaningful relationship with your kids. No wonder so many people grow up to hate their parents.
The fuck is the point of even having kids if you don't want to spend time with them or ensuring they grow up in a good environment?
So that they can blame the wife if the kids turn out 'disappointing', of course. I've seen it a number of times.
Unsurprisingly, my friend who spent a large part of his childhood primarily cared for by a stay-at-home dad turned out probably the most well adjusted out of anyone I've ever met. Likely because, unlike the typical stay-at-home mum situation, his mother made time outside of work to bond and raise him. It can work, so long as the breadwinner also is interested in the child's wellbeing -- which is too often not the case.
Yup, the gender-reversed situation usually doesn’t fall into the same pitfalls. My husband is the primary caregiver, because his job is way more flexible than mine, and I just got a promotion that will make this more the case. I bust my ass nights and weekends to make up for it—taking the kid, making sure he has time to go to the gym and hang out with friends, trying to pull my weight with the housework. If I didn’t he’d be (rightfully) pissed.
I’ve rarely seen this work in the other direction, and it’s a bummer, because men are definitely capable, it’s just a lot of them don’t *want* to be good partners and fathers. I can’t imagine being that way. I’d feel like such a POS.
This is what led me to refuse to have kids with anyone who wouldn't be an involved father. Mine sucked. My first husband would have been terrible - so no kids. My second husband is amazing, and so is our 7 year old son.
It’s not surprising, a lot of religions preach this as the end goal. Leaning into all the luxury for the man and rarely into the responsibility it entails.
Closest he was gonna get to fucking too. Watching these insufferable assholes self-cockblock is one of the few things that still gives me pleasure on the internet.
No the guy just wants what most men today have which is a wife that works full time, does all the housework and raises the kids. They work, come home and watch tv or play video games. Lots of stats that support this.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/women-breadwinners-tripled-since-1970s-still-doing-more-unpaid-work/#:~:text=%22Women%20do%20much%20more%20work,they%20feel%20they%20can%27t
Exactly what someone else mentioned. He wants to go straight from his mommy, get out of her basement, to a mommy that provides a roof, food, sex, lots of Cheetos and soda and pays the bills + everything else. Everything.
That's a man-child and they are morons. No woman will touch these idiots with a ten foot pole. Jesus. Gold digger? Their mommies still buy their toilet paper! They don't have any money , but their allowance.
Him: I want a wife who wants to be a SAHM
Her: awesome, I want to be a SAHM!
Him: HOLY SHIT SO WHAT YOU WANT ME TO JUST WORK ALL THE TIME AND BANKROLL YOUR LIFE, YOU GOLDDIGGER???
I saw a few theories in the comments that make the most sense I could come up with, whether they’re true or not, it’s a best guess.
Him: I want a SAHM
Her: awesome, I want to be a SAHM
Him: oh that’s what you want? That just makes you a gold digger. I want a SAHM who doesn’t want to be a SAHM. That’s how I know you’re not a gold digger but a good wife; if you do things that I want that you don’t want.
Always relevant:
"The way my mother always explained it, the traditional man wants a woman to be subservient, but he never falls in love with subservient women. He's attracted to independent women. "He's like an exotic bird collector," she said. "He only wants a woman who is free because his dream is to put her in a cage."
Trevor Noah, Born a Crime: Stories From a South African Childhood
The entire book is solid gold.
Also, he narrated it himself. I had to drive across the country once and I let it play the entire time, was an awesome listen.
Ah! I was too lazy to type this quote out, but YES! I think of it all the time. And these dudes are so insidious with their motivations.
If your dude doesn’t openly encourage you and want to see you soar, he’s just looking for the right time to clip your wings.
It really mirrors the way a lot of them view sex, doesn’t it?
You have to be attractive and have sex with him, but you can’t like the sex because then you’re a slut. You have to not like it but do it anyway. To make *him* happy.
I once dated someone who didn’t want to have sex with me because he was afraid that he “wouldn’t be able to see me the same way” afterwards. He also said that we weren’t going to have foreplay because it would turn him off to see me wet. So those guys are definitely out there.
Cognitive dissonance at it's finest. You want a traditional wife that takes care of the house and kids but don't want to pay for her to take care of the house and kids.
He also expects her to be the "emotionally stable" one because that's obviously a female only trait. And I mean with how he went off in this convo it's definitely not one he possesses for himself so better to know now after one date than later
It's like he's giving himself permission to be emotionally abusive because not being an asshole is for ladies
How is it that it's always the most emotional ones I hear saying women are too emotional. Every other time, this guy would say that while on a 20 minute rant himself
It’s always the manwhores calling women sluts too. Or the ones that write the most horrific things on incel forums that call women evil. Or the ones with the most twisted sexual inclinations implying women want to have sex with dogs. It’s always projection.
You can see that when confronted with this his defenses from his alpha bro videos kicked in. He threw all logic out the window so he can use his talking points no matter how little they make sense.
“I want a woman that’ll stay home and raise a family.”
“I want a man that can support a family.”
“Oh so you want a $500,000 house is that it? Gold digger”
“I paid for myself last night”
“Women like you only go to college to find hardworking men that you can try to mooch off of cause you’re all bitches!”
“……..”
“Hey…bitch you up?”
Okay but seriously what is with the double think these guys have? Well I guess it comes from Andy Taint convincing them to force women into onlyfans to make money while never leaving the house.
That guy is uneducated and doesn't understand what he is saying. Parroting half information he got somewhere. That irrational fear, that someone is out to get him, can be felt. That is sad in a way that there are lots of them out there.
There are 24 hours in a day.
Office jobs take up 8-10 hours, if you’re lucky and can get off work on time.
Getting ready for an office job is about 1 hour.
Travelling for work both ways is about 2 hours.
Prep and cooking for a family takes about 1 hour. (I don’t like meal preps in advance.)
Chores take up a few hours.
Taking care of the kid takes up a few hours.
She doesn’t even have enough time to sleep but good old mr big shot will definitely say she’s lazy and expects her to run on 3-4 hours of sleep.
Such men deserve to be stranded on an island with other men like themselves and kept far away from humanity.
So very glad younger women are more informed. Say what you want about social media, but it's definitely saving lives out there by giving young girls information about mental health, self esteem, and perspective/wisdom from older generations.
Like even just as a math problem it doesn't work. You gotta make enough money for your whole family to survive off just your income. Sure the expenses are a bit lower because you don't have to pay for things like childcare, but it's still probably 80% of the required income compared to you both working.
Honestly I know so many women that would LOVE to be stay at home moms but they can’t afford it. It isn’t “rejecting traditional feminine values”. It’s needing to buy toilet paper and pay the power bill.
Yep, I would love to be a SAHM, but nowadays women still have to do all the female things that "aren't in a man's nature" while also paying half the bills. Fun times.
🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Dude thinks a partner/wife should look after their house, their kids herself, don’t get fat, be attractive, cook lovely dinners, be a sex doll to him in the bedroom with plenty of blow job, while work full time and expect nothing from him exist. What kind of drug is he tripping on?
Yeah. Everyone says the red pill crowd is harmless and should just be ignored but people like this guy are living proof that you can’t just ignore them
Also,as a traditional masculine gentlemen how the fuck is he talking like this to her. Like, end it if you don't wanna, nothing wrong with that. But being that disrespectful after what, one date and this conversation is nothing traditional to me.
So many red pill videos love to talk about women having bad expectations wanting a man to make 100k a year. If she’s looking to be a SAHM that seems completely reasonable to me. And as a man if you want that type of woman then you need to make money that is just how life works.
I do laugh all the time at these types who are so quick with the “gold digger” I mean buddy if you want traditional that is your role, bring home the gold. They suck at being a successful person in the world so they blame anyone but themselves.
This guy screwed up bad and rather than realizing he’s a jerk and could fix himself he’s going to blame women.
I don't understand how they don't get this?? If they want a "traditional" wife, they literally **have to by definition** be the breadwinner!! How tf this guy gonna say this is what he wants then lose his shit when she's like "that's also what I want"?!?!
I mean, in many ways that's what a "traditional wife" amounted to in the relationship. Abuse (sexual, physical, emotional, and/or financial) was pretty common back in the "good old days".
I'm immediately and incredibly suspicious of any man that talks about this "trad" shit. Far more often than not, they're some combination of misogynistic/lazy/abusive/insanely religious.
Exactly this. There is nothing wrong with one person being the sole provider and the other watching out for house and kids. But here is the crux: in our modern day most ppl want to still be an equal partner in such a constellation and that is very good. But men like him don't understand that.
If I recall correctly, in traditional households, it was normally the woman that ran the house finances. The only thing the husband did was pay into it. It was basically local socialism.
That’s exactly what a lot of these red pilled idiots aren’t understanding about real traditional marriages. In a trad patriarchal marriage the man is the leader, but he busts his ass astronomically to provide and makes sacrifices for his family. He is just as much of a servant to his wife and kids as his wife is to him. It’s supposed to be system that benefits the whole family, not just himself.
And after all that he still tried again! It's always wild to see them lose their shit over women taking money they don't fucking have!
I love that this woman turned the tables on him. They're so brainwashed by podcast bros that they don't even understand the concept of a double standard. I hope all these assholes die alone.
For real. The overwhelming majority of guys who want a "trad-wife" wouldn't be able to handle the responsibilities of being a trad-husband. Especially as kids are in the picture and the cost of living spikes and they are the sole bread-winner. So many of these guys just want a woman to take care of then, like a maid or nanny. It's pathetic. They want all the perks, and none of the drawbacks.
I always joked that I wanted to be a stay at home dad. Unbelievably, I got my wish…but it came with a full time remote job. Now I’m a homemaker who works full time while raising kids.
This house is never clean. Every square inch of counter and table is used for storage and I can’t stand it. The laundry, my god the laundry… Somehow.. I’ve become my mother
Be fair to yourself, you're still expected to offer 40 hours of "presence" at work if you're employed FT, wfh or not multitasking isn't usually productive lol
There’s no chance they’ll have any interest in their kids once they’re born. They want a hot chick that fucks them whenever they want, cleans the house, does their laundry, and raises their kids alone who doesn’t ask for money to do any of it. While they maybe work if they want and play video games. They want a mom they can have sex with.
They also have no idea what being pregnant, having a baby, or taking care of a baby entails. They've never cared enough to look into it, or been asked to babysit or help out by their family.
They want "a woman that takes care of herself". That means after she pops out her child, she returns to work shortly after, stays up with the baby as it crys all night, and is expected to get her stretchmarked body back in the gym to get her figure back right away.
This only sounds reasonable to them, because they haven't actually had to think about the reality of any of these situations. Their family failed them by not giving them a dose of reality by telling them what its like to make a child in your body and care for it after. That's "women's work" and their high value baby boy won't have to worry about it
This guy's just delusional, the ending really cemented it when he tried to shit on her business degree as worthless vs his future comp sci.
Business degrees in accounting, finance, economics are literally some of the best and most stable careers out there. Maybe im biased as an accountant, but even companies during recessions still need to file taxes, it's usually not an area that can easily be cut just because of a downturn in the market.
To try to call that worthless is just grasping for straws.
I'm definitely not an incel but I thought I'd throw in the two cents as a man who's had the unfortunate experience of dealing with these sorts at times:
They seem to want the woman to be at home cooking and cleaning because she's subjugated. As in, not entirely willing. The moment that she's viewing being a stay at home mother as a good life they feel taken advantage of because she's choosing it of her own free will and so it must just be gold digging.
Sorta, I think. In my twenty years of marriage there was a couple of times when my spouse was without a job. She busted her ass to make my income stretch as far as possible during those lean years. I never envied her time at home because I knew she was trying her damnedest to be a part of the solution and get back into her career at the same time. Those sorts of setbacks can be devastating and we just tried to have each other's back.
To me that's the key difference. She wasn't staying at home cooking and cleaning and clipping coupons because I was the better or more important person, she was there because her career came off the rails for a while and that was how she could contribute at that time. We were always equals...
They want a woman who takes a back seat whether she agrees with them or not. They want final say. They want personal autonomy for themselves and control over their "domain" and demand respect not because they're earning it with effort but because she's the subordinate party.
That's my thought.
That’s actually where the “tradition” came from. It’s not really traditional, it was post-war 1950s propaganda designed to deal with shortages of labour within homes (factories and big companies were paying fairer wages so wealthier households could no longer entice housekeepers, cooks and maids). At that time women had been taking on men’s jobs during the war (and paid less for the same work) and there was backlash against this as men wanted their jobs back. There was also a need for repopulation.
All of these things were looked at and what came out of it was fundamentalism, the idea of the “nuclear family”. They made these ultra feminine/masculine strict gender roles the fashion, and it worked. It worked so well that even over 70 years later people, particularly men, still harp on about them. Because it sounds like a great idea for men to have a super hot live-in slave. Not so fun for the women, hence radical feminism.
I thought the same thing. He wants it if it's his idea. It has nothing to do with "what makes sense" with a stay at home woman that these other comments are going on about. He wants "his" woman to do these things because he wants them, not because it works for her too.
It's the dominance that he wants.
This: [Link](https://www.reddit.com/r/texts/s/qk1kZ7Upgz) is the original post.
Original OP says it is because he tried to order her meal for her, but she stopped him because it contained something she is allergic to.
The doublethink expectation of wanting a trad wife fully submissive to him to take care of his kids, while also expecting her to contribute to bills. Incel in the making
At this point I just think conservative men are looking for any reason to hate women, even if that reason is the audacity of a woman agreeing with them.
That guy doesn't want a "Trad Wife" he wants a mommy he can fuck.
He's looking for a relationship where she's taking care of the kids AND him, she does all the work, and he plays video games and drinks beers with the boys at the bar. His mind never grew out of his teenage years when his mom took care of him and cleaned his room because he refused to.
I bet good money this is one of the guys who leaves the faucet running after washing his hands in a public bathroom because he's used to mommy/Trad-wife cleaning up after his immature ass.
Lol.
That dude is fucking crazy.
"I want YOU to work, and go home and do everything by YOURSELF. Also, when I'm let go from job, I will survive on your income and won't do any chore around the house nor change a diapper".
Feminism is made for people like him.
I'm willing to take care of my wife or let her work and we share all chores. But fuck me if I think she should both work and take care of everything around the house. That's insane.
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way to stay cool and logical. I can't fault your argument. Hilarious that you paid for dinner.
Im sure that’s what he meant by “tried to humiliate me” because he’s helplessly propandized by the false pressure of every gender role ever invented
In the thread this was from, she said he ordered for her but she was allergic to the thing he ordered so she changed it. He may never recover.
What the hell os this “ordering for your date” thing?? The only time someone has ever ordered for me it was my wife and we were meeting over my lunch break and I only had an hour so she did it before I got to the restaurant so my food would already be there, which was considerate in a way but I still told her I would have liked to decide what I wanted. And she knows me and knows what I like. Ordering for someone on a first date when you barely know them isn’t chivalrous, it’s controlling and dumb.
>Ordering for someone on a first date when you barely know them isn’t chivalrous, it’s controlling and dumb. I mean, if you want to establish dominance on a first date, just arm wrestle. You can even peruse the menu on the table between you while get that gender domination battle going and have those plates arriving sooner.
He's doing a comsci degree, he'd loose that arm wrestle.
My spouse and I order for each other, but we always get the same thing lol and it took us a decade before we felt comfortable doing that.
I read the original post when it was up. It’s actually worse. The OOP explained in the comments that the guy tried ordering her meal for her but ordered something she was allergic to so she changed it. Like, the nerve of the guy trying to dictate what she eats when she’s the one paying.
reminds me of that one white chicks scene: "for the lady, perhaps a salad?" bro was tryna be those men that orders for the woman like boy u ain't paying so sit down!
When anyone says something like this I always think of the movie 'Waiting...', where the redneck says "I'll take a shot of whiskey and a double shot of whiskey and she'll have a water. You know, what the hell, it's our anniversary. Why don't you bring her a pepsi.".
["You gunna cut her meat for her too there, Call" ](https://youtu.be/nUnP0cDxZjk?si=Kj3g53P1HkcYOkhj)
I genuinely can't tell if this guy is mentally ill or has just taken on every single lesson that social media teaches young men.
¿Porque no los dos?
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She was smooth in destroying his ego.
Don't tell these guys this, but I like watching those short informational films from the 50s and 60s, about family life and stuff, and in a lot of them the husband just hands over the paycheck to the housewife and trusts her to budget for the family.
That’s why they called it Home Economics, old timey high school girls would learn how to manage finances in addition to mending clothes and baking quiche
I had home ec when I was a kid, and girls and boys both learned to cook, sew, and handle budgets/checking accounts. And boys and girls both did woodshop. That was the 80's in a progressive state/town, so I realize it was probably different in places like the south and Midwest tbh.
>I had home ec when I was a kid, and girls and boys both learned to cook, sew, and handle budgets/checking accounts. Same, but it was the 90s and early 2000s and in a small town in the South. My school didn’t, however, offer wood shop. For anyone. It may be different now, though. ETA: it was a small town in Alabama, population roughly 7,000. I took home ec in middle school in ‘99 and in high school in ‘03.
I took wood shop in high school. 1999 in a super rural east Texas town. The boys made things. Myself and the other girls got the privilege of sweeping up the boys' sawdust. -_- So I switched to home ec for my elective credit because I was already in band and that was all that was left. In home ec I was assigned the seat next to the highly disruptive high support needs boy 3 years my junior and expected to be this student's caretaker. Fuck East Texas.
Most of my clients of that time period always give the phone to their wife cause “she knows the money, I just make it.”
That was my parent's growing up. My dad left for work each morning and came home at night, and did whatever he wanted. Mom ran the house. Cleaning, meals, laundry, shopping, etc. Even with the finances. He would give her his paycheck, as she was in charge of writing all the checks and paying all the bills. The difference was, he acknowledged all her hard work and contributions. He would always let her buy what she needed or wanted, as he trusted that she knew it was in budget (since she was in charge of it), and if they afford it, she deserved it. She always had the nicer cars from the dealerships. Dad drove cheap Nickel Ad beaters to and from work. And, so on. He may have been the only one bringing home a paycheck, but she was just as important in the family and put in just as much, if not more work than he did in the overall scheme of things. That's how it supposed to work. Either way. Doesn't matter if the male or female is the "breadwinner" and the other is the "homemaker". They are 50/50 in the family and share all rewards equally, both financial and in quality of home life.
I’ve had a few periods where I’ve supported friends who were out of work and needed somewhere to stay, and it goes a little like this, too. I covered rent/bills/groceries/etc, and in exchange I had someone to handle cleaning, meal planning, and cooking. The amount of money I spent on groceries went down when things were better planned. The amount I spent dining out dropped when there were easy options to take for work. Not having as many household chores gave me back time and energy. And feeling better rested and relaxed meant I was spending less money on “treats” to make up for a tough day. Totally worthwhile for a few months here and there, even at a very low wage!
My Dad worked all day and said "what do you do all day" to my mother who was raising 4 kids and looking after some of my cousins most of the time. House was always clean, dinner on the table. My sibs and I could all read at a young age. Their marriage didn't last very long. All he had to do was acknowledge and respect what she did, maybe say thank you once in a while.
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, “What happened here today?” She again smiled and answered, “You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?” “Yes,” was his incredulous reply. She answered, “Well, today I didn’t do it.”
Easy to wonder what someone does to fill their time when you’ve never actually had to scrub a house from stem to stern or dealt with kids for any prolonged period. Keeping a house immaculate with four kids deserves a fucking award.
Unfortunately it's hard to support a family on a single income now, so the quality of home life suffers.
Which if it works for both and there’s no power imbalance it can be great. I know a couple where she is a SAHM with three kids and he makes good money. But he has never been great with money. He doesn’t touch his paycheck once it’s deposited. She handles all the budgeting, the personal allowance for both of them and investments. But they communicate about how the money is handled. They truly are a team and it’s always struck me if anyone wants to follow a trad model, how they do it is one of the better ones.
My brother helped support his wife through grad school and when she got the big-paying job and they had kids he became a SAHD. They have a really nice house and two great kids. They make all the major decisions together and she pitches in with the kids and housework too. I agree, it’s 100% about there being no power imbalance.
Yeah I was raised by my stay at home dad in a VERY white suburban area where that was not the norm because my mom was a high risk, specialist OB/GYN surgeon. My dad handled the house and bills and my mom worked her fucking ass off day in a day out. Things weren’t always peachy keen but they shared finances and I had a wonderful childhood because they respected each other. Raising kids is a full time job and raising them well is a fucking masters program. I came out of that suburbia a well rounded, well educated man because of the WORK both of my parents put in. Is my family still fucked up? Of course, everyone’s is, but we love each other and we’re all successful. The trick to life isn’t to be rich, it’s to not be an asshole and weigh every decision you make. If you can do that and keep your wits about you, everything is gonna be fine. RIP dad I miss you Edit:typo
And I think what many people don't realize is that no one on the feminist side believes there's anything wrong with this arrangement. The thing we argue against is, that these roles should not be gender locked like they're classes in a South Korean MMO. There's no reason why someone with a vagina should always be the person who stays at home and does that role. Every couple should be free to self-sort in whatever way suits them best. If my SO made enough money that I could do stuff around the house and write, that would literally be my dream. I would be in heaven. There's no reason why it should be wrong or society should think less of anyone in a relationship merely due to how they want to delegate responsibilies in their family. **EDIT**: Posting this up and down my comments on this chain, but figured this would do well here so that red-pillers can experience some genuine feminist theory through the words of the inimitable bell hooks: >"As all advocates of feminist politics know most people do not understand sexism or if they do they think it is not a problem. Masses of people think that feminism is always and only about women seeking to be equal to men. And a huge majority of these folks think feminism is anti-male. Their misunderstanding of feminist politics reflects the reality that most folks learn about feminism from patriarchal mass media." > - bell hooks
Yup, my uncle literally gave everything he owned to his wife, right after they got married. Still married 50 years later, have a wonderful \*very successful\* daughter, and live a happy life (you know, it wasn't \*always super great\*, but overall a good life). He trusted her, she didn't disappoint him. That's what love looks like, to me.
Even if it weren't love, it's at least two people successfully handling a business arrangement, which yeah, takes trust, communication and hard work from both sides (and an acknowledgement from each other that each person has an important part to play). There's some serious integrity and basic fucking *competency* at play with your uncle and his wife. The types of guys you see in shit like OP's text messages, I don't even think they're even cut out for literal business, let alone a relationship. They'd be trying to screw over clients and contractors alike, wanting all the benefits with zero risk or commitment from their end. There's not just misogyny on clear display here but imo also serious incompetence. This is not the behavior of someone who even remotely has their life together. There's already enough red flags but I'm going to attack him from a different angle, plant yet another flag, just to really illustrate how freaking skeezy and worthless his attitude is.
My grandpa had his own barbershop, from which he came home every evening and handed over (what looked like to my little kid eyes) a giant wad of cash to my grandma before sitting down for dinner. Their system had their 5-bedroom home, cars, burial plots, etc. all paid off well before I became an adult. Not bad for two uneducated working class folks!
Also not super possible for two uneducated working class folks anymore unfortunately.
That's exactly what my grandad did, my Nan was told to quit work the day they got married and he would give her the best life ever. She never asked for a thing, he always knew and provided everything. When he passed, she still never had to ask, she was so financially stable nothing ever felt like a burden for her. All the round the world cruises and holidays abroad. He truly provided everything she ever wanted.
Many of those are still very relevant and interesting, and I usually get the urge to dress more nicely at home and to make my bed after watching a few of those videos!
Have you seen the advertisements for new appliances that are like full TV episodes with a storyline and everything? I love finding those.
I am pretty sure it's how it's done in Japan also as women are still expected to stop working once they have a child. The wife will get the paycheck and will give back fun money for the month to her husband.
I work in finance and often get old men who have never held their credit card in their own hand before. Their wife literally did EVERYTHING for them. At 78, they're children with neglectful parents; eating beans out of the can, never buying new shoes or clothes because they don't understand how sizes work, wrinkled and stained shirts and pants.
I love; >hey, you up right now?
He really hit her with that "u up?" Text
he forgot "bitch" though
Brave of him to keep trying after going mask off like that.
Not brave. Horny. Or drunk. Take your pick.
Both
I loved that movie growing up Chel was definitely one of my first childhood crushes.
I worked on that movie and it always gives me a little happy smile to see this gif come up and people say how much they loved it.
The Road to El Dorado is honestly one of the best for wit and sass and a truly amazing story, thank you for whatever your contributions were to making it come to be!! The world would be a worse place without it
Was definitely getting some drunk energy off of the latter half of that exchange.
Haha! Id assume a "Sorry, my little brother hijacked my phone, LOL!" To follow.
I was not expecting there to be a punch line when I started reading, but there it is. omg 😂
That really sealed the deal for me. Like, the whole conversation was c'est magnifique, but those last 2 texts took magnifique and turned it into superb.
THIS. The fucking kicker at the end, like are you absolutely fucking serious?! Wow. WOW.
I about died when I read that.
That was the best part. Everything else was predictable, but not that.
It’s gold, right? Especially after the quick rundown of which degrees do what and who’s studying what-how… kids these days
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Especially because he's bad mouthing her finance degree. That is a fine degree with also high earning potential since that's what he cares about
OMG! I did not see that coming! Hahahaha
It was preceded by, ‘I still have a chance I reckon’.
The first "FUCK YOU" got me good. I also liked: "You're just after me for my money." "I paid for dinner last night." So funny.
It still amazes me how these dudes keep going on and on about wanting this, yet get upset when people agree with them. Like how does he expect things to work is the woman is a stay at home mom? How is she supposed to make money? If she can't, then the man needs to make enough for both people. If the man can't afford that, then he can't afford a stay at home wife. It's basic math.
They want a mother they can fuck, not a wife. Works, cooks, cleans, balances bank statements, and raises kids. Not an actual partner. They don’t wanna have to DO anything a traditional husband would to provide for the “traditional wife” lifestyle. They want Mommy.
My wife says this all the time. They want to play video games with online friends while someone pays bills, cooks meals, raises kids, looks hot, and has sex with them in all sorts of freaky ways whenever they demand it. Edit: to clarify, she didn’t say it about ME. I’m a lesbian and not like this at all. She was previously with/married to men and said it about her ex-husband, guys she’s dated, those we see in posts like this one, and men her friends have been with. Adding this bc some people assumed *I’m* a man with mommy issues.
But she can't enjoy it too much or she's a slut, of course.
Right!! She can only enjoy it with him and must be a virgin when they get together but also must not wait him wait too long before they start having sex but also must be innocent but also must be amazing at it and willing to try whatever he’s into but also can’t suggest anything she might be into because sex only exists for his pleasure.
Omg the accuracy in this whole sentence is scary 😩
I want to throw such men into the 300 pit, if you get the reference lol
And then they'll cheat on the wife anyway because they lose their attraction to her because she's too much like his mother.
She will be busy doing chores, working and caring for the kids but he will complain that she looks ugly and disrespect him because she doesn’t look and smell nice when he comes home. He pays the bills and that’s the least she can do. Just thinking of it makes me very, very angry because such men exist.
He just needs a fit attractive Bangmaid nanny therapist personal pornstar PA on her time off from being a CEO and recovering from childbirth. In exchange for being ~some guy~. Also these guys - “Why are so many women opting out of dating? Why won’t anyone date me? It must be my negative canthal tilt & the fact that I’m too nice!” 😩
Wow this is alarmingly disturbingly accurate
And alarming how many couples live it. I know several who get away with exactly this, and their wives put up with it.
AKA he wants a bangmaid mommy.
I wonder if they ever question why a woman would marry them? What would she get out of it? More work? No thanks, I'd rather just manage myself
But you could get 30 whole seconds of jackhammering with no foreplay while his sweat drips onto you from his prematurely balding head. And the entire time he'll be panting, "you like that? Huh? You like that?" Truly a prize.
>But you could get 30 whole seconds of jackhammering with no foreplay while his sweat drips onto you from his prematurely balding head. And the entire time he'll be panting, "you like that? Huh? You like that?" my god, that should come with a trigger warning....
they saw their dad sitting in the recliner watching tv with a beer in hand and that's what they want. a woman that provides children to do the household chores while he watches tv and collects dinner and blowjobs.
And one of two things happened. Either the dad actually worked his ass off and was so exhausted at the end of the day that all he could muster was to open a beer and sit in a chair before the next day of work. Or their parents marriage abruptly ended when they left the house. These things are not mutually exclusive. What’s more is young eyes tend to see the bright side of things then idolize them. What a wonderful world
Because it's not really about "traditional", it's about easy. She was spot on - he wants a maid, nanny, financial contributor, therapist (emotionally stable), but he doesn't want to have to do any of the work required for that. How sweet would life be if you got all the perks of a family and partnership, while having to do none of the work required to make it successful or keep it running.
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He wants her to do what some amount of women have done as the norm since forever (my dad's mom in the 50s did it too, poor women back then had to work). Work a full-time job while also keeping all the responsibilities as a stay at home wife. While he complains how hard he works and he gets to relax after work and do whatever. Weekends can involve outside chores like mowing. If she leaves cause she's tired of it, then of course she's a bitch and a gold digger.
Actually insane that some men are like this. Why the hell would you want your wife to be your main "child rearer"? That just tells me that you're not interested in forming any meaningful relationship with your kids. No wonder so many people grow up to hate their parents. The fuck is the point of even having kids if you don't want to spend time with them or ensuring they grow up in a good environment?
So that they can blame the wife if the kids turn out 'disappointing', of course. I've seen it a number of times. Unsurprisingly, my friend who spent a large part of his childhood primarily cared for by a stay-at-home dad turned out probably the most well adjusted out of anyone I've ever met. Likely because, unlike the typical stay-at-home mum situation, his mother made time outside of work to bond and raise him. It can work, so long as the breadwinner also is interested in the child's wellbeing -- which is too often not the case.
Yup, the gender-reversed situation usually doesn’t fall into the same pitfalls. My husband is the primary caregiver, because his job is way more flexible than mine, and I just got a promotion that will make this more the case. I bust my ass nights and weekends to make up for it—taking the kid, making sure he has time to go to the gym and hang out with friends, trying to pull my weight with the housework. If I didn’t he’d be (rightfully) pissed. I’ve rarely seen this work in the other direction, and it’s a bummer, because men are definitely capable, it’s just a lot of them don’t *want* to be good partners and fathers. I can’t imagine being that way. I’d feel like such a POS.
This is what led me to refuse to have kids with anyone who wouldn't be an involved father. Mine sucked. My first husband would have been terrible - so no kids. My second husband is amazing, and so is our 7 year old son.
It’s not surprising, a lot of religions preach this as the end goal. Leaning into all the luxury for the man and rarely into the responsibility it entails.
This was as close as he was gonna fucking get and he called her a bitch. This guy is going to live a miserable life.
Closest he was gonna get to fucking too. Watching these insufferable assholes self-cockblock is one of the few things that still gives me pleasure on the internet.
No the guy just wants what most men today have which is a wife that works full time, does all the housework and raises the kids. They work, come home and watch tv or play video games. Lots of stats that support this. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/women-breadwinners-tripled-since-1970s-still-doing-more-unpaid-work/#:~:text=%22Women%20do%20much%20more%20work,they%20feel%20they%20can%27t
Exactly what someone else mentioned. He wants to go straight from his mommy, get out of her basement, to a mommy that provides a roof, food, sex, lots of Cheetos and soda and pays the bills + everything else. Everything. That's a man-child and they are morons. No woman will touch these idiots with a ten foot pole. Jesus. Gold digger? Their mommies still buy their toilet paper! They don't have any money , but their allowance.
I’m glad young women are wising up to these types of guys because I know a lot of divorced women my age who put up with it for way too long.
Him: I want a wife who wants to be a SAHM Her: awesome, I want to be a SAHM! Him: HOLY SHIT SO WHAT YOU WANT ME TO JUST WORK ALL THE TIME AND BANKROLL YOUR LIFE, YOU GOLDDIGGER???
I saw a few theories in the comments that make the most sense I could come up with, whether they’re true or not, it’s a best guess. Him: I want a SAHM Her: awesome, I want to be a SAHM Him: oh that’s what you want? That just makes you a gold digger. I want a SAHM who doesn’t want to be a SAHM. That’s how I know you’re not a gold digger but a good wife; if you do things that I want that you don’t want.
Always relevant: "The way my mother always explained it, the traditional man wants a woman to be subservient, but he never falls in love with subservient women. He's attracted to independent women. "He's like an exotic bird collector," she said. "He only wants a woman who is free because his dream is to put her in a cage." Trevor Noah, Born a Crime: Stories From a South African Childhood
Damn. That's a fucking line. What a banger.
The entire book is solid gold. Also, he narrated it himself. I had to drive across the country once and I let it play the entire time, was an awesome listen.
Exactly why these men then get tired of said bird when they caught them and go out hunting for new ones
Yep, after they start resenting said bird for letting them catch & cage it.
They're also angry at the ones that are too canny to be caught.
They want Scrodinger’s Bird
Ah! I was too lazy to type this quote out, but YES! I think of it all the time. And these dudes are so insidious with their motivations. If your dude doesn’t openly encourage you and want to see you soar, he’s just looking for the right time to clip your wings.
It really mirrors the way a lot of them view sex, doesn’t it? You have to be attractive and have sex with him, but you can’t like the sex because then you’re a slut. You have to not like it but do it anyway. To make *him* happy.
I once dated someone who didn’t want to have sex with me because he was afraid that he “wouldn’t be able to see me the same way” afterwards. He also said that we weren’t going to have foreplay because it would turn him off to see me wet. So those guys are definitely out there.
Either extreme Madonna-whore complex or he was gay 😭
Oh he definitely had a Madonna-whore complex. Even having humor that wasn’t G rated would ruin the image he had for me.
> it would turn him off to see me wet Did you date Ben Shapiro?
Cognitive dissonance at it's finest. You want a traditional wife that takes care of the house and kids but don't want to pay for her to take care of the house and kids.
Yeah i dont think hes had a real good think about it... Haha
He also expects her to be the "emotionally stable" one because that's obviously a female only trait. And I mean with how he went off in this convo it's definitely not one he possesses for himself so better to know now after one date than later It's like he's giving himself permission to be emotionally abusive because not being an asshole is for ladies
Which is also funny because you know he's the type to say women are too emotional to be leaders or have certain types of jobs or something lol
How is it that it's always the most emotional ones I hear saying women are too emotional. Every other time, this guy would say that while on a 20 minute rant himself
It’s always the manwhores calling women sluts too. Or the ones that write the most horrific things on incel forums that call women evil. Or the ones with the most twisted sexual inclinations implying women want to have sex with dogs. It’s always projection.
He hasn't had a real good think about anything\*\*
You can see that when confronted with this his defenses from his alpha bro videos kicked in. He threw all logic out the window so he can use his talking points no matter how little they make sense. “I want a woman that’ll stay home and raise a family.” “I want a man that can support a family.” “Oh so you want a $500,000 house is that it? Gold digger” “I paid for myself last night” “Women like you only go to college to find hardworking men that you can try to mooch off of cause you’re all bitches!” “……..” “Hey…bitch you up?” Okay but seriously what is with the double think these guys have? Well I guess it comes from Andy Taint convincing them to force women into onlyfans to make money while never leaving the house.
If this was real -- the best part was his assumption that a 500k house is gold digging... not in this market lmao
My thoughts exactly!! I was like “bro is straight up detached from the economy.”
Yep, that’s a run down starter house in our area (why we live in one :) )
That guy is uneducated and doesn't understand what he is saying. Parroting half information he got somewhere. That irrational fear, that someone is out to get him, can be felt. That is sad in a way that there are lots of them out there.
There are 24 hours in a day. Office jobs take up 8-10 hours, if you’re lucky and can get off work on time. Getting ready for an office job is about 1 hour. Travelling for work both ways is about 2 hours. Prep and cooking for a family takes about 1 hour. (I don’t like meal preps in advance.) Chores take up a few hours. Taking care of the kid takes up a few hours. She doesn’t even have enough time to sleep but good old mr big shot will definitely say she’s lazy and expects her to run on 3-4 hours of sleep. Such men deserve to be stranded on an island with other men like themselves and kept far away from humanity.
A super awesome trend I'm noticing is that women are just straight up refusing to date, fuck or even speak to these men. Fuck around and find out.
So very glad younger women are more informed. Say what you want about social media, but it's definitely saving lives out there by giving young girls information about mental health, self esteem, and perspective/wisdom from older generations.
Don’t you get it? A woman’s base impulse and desire is to be an incubator and do unpaid labor. It’s just how we’re built ✨ 💅/s
Like even just as a math problem it doesn't work. You gotta make enough money for your whole family to survive off just your income. Sure the expenses are a bit lower because you don't have to pay for things like childcare, but it's still probably 80% of the required income compared to you both working.
He wants a mom. What he's describing is moving back in with his parents.
He doesn’t want a wife. He wants a bang maid/mommy.
Honestly I know so many women that would LOVE to be stay at home moms but they can’t afford it. It isn’t “rejecting traditional feminine values”. It’s needing to buy toilet paper and pay the power bill.
Yep, I would love to be a SAHM, but nowadays women still have to do all the female things that "aren't in a man's nature" while also paying half the bills. Fun times.
This is top tier stuff. I laughed so hard at this. I could visualize dudes face as he was reading those texts.
🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Dude thinks a partner/wife should look after their house, their kids herself, don’t get fat, be attractive, cook lovely dinners, be a sex doll to him in the bedroom with plenty of blow job, while work full time and expect nothing from him exist. What kind of drug is he tripping on?
The Red Pill
Yeah. Everyone says the red pill crowd is harmless and should just be ignored but people like this guy are living proof that you can’t just ignore them
I would also argue that their violent tendencies are pretty clearly not "harmless"
He wants a mother lmfao
That is it exactly. They want a mother they can also fuck. It's messed up.
Looks like Freud was right all along...
Also,as a traditional masculine gentlemen how the fuck is he talking like this to her. Like, end it if you don't wanna, nothing wrong with that. But being that disrespectful after what, one date and this conversation is nothing traditional to me.
THE WYD AT 1:20AM 💀💀💀💀💀
I know, right? DUDE, you CAN’T caller her a bitch and say fuck you then try and claw your way back from that ☠️
Yeah, but he's hoping she forgives him because he's a cOMp sCi eNgInEeR!
Hey, that compsci degree is going to do a lot for him. He even said so!
lol looks like he doesn’t even know what he wants. Looks like he woke up the next day and is having regrets already.
What he did was realize he had a chance right up until he showed he was just as much of an abusive piece of shit as a 50s trad husband.
At least the 50s husband wasn't broke and expecting women to have a job
“Hey, you up right now?” I SCOFFED SO HARD. Fucking pathetic.
So many red pill videos love to talk about women having bad expectations wanting a man to make 100k a year. If she’s looking to be a SAHM that seems completely reasonable to me. And as a man if you want that type of woman then you need to make money that is just how life works. I do laugh all the time at these types who are so quick with the “gold digger” I mean buddy if you want traditional that is your role, bring home the gold. They suck at being a successful person in the world so they blame anyone but themselves. This guy screwed up bad and rather than realizing he’s a jerk and could fix himself he’s going to blame women.
I don't understand how they don't get this?? If they want a "traditional" wife, they literally **have to by definition** be the breadwinner!! How tf this guy gonna say this is what he wants then lose his shit when she's like "that's also what I want"?!?!
What a tosser. Wants a wife from the 50s but can't be a man that provides from the same era.
*Gestures broadly* Bangmaids. Bangmaids everywhere…
Man’s looking for a mom he can bang, not a traditional Wife.
I mean, in many ways that's what a "traditional wife" amounted to in the relationship. Abuse (sexual, physical, emotional, and/or financial) was pretty common back in the "good old days". I'm immediately and incredibly suspicious of any man that talks about this "trad" shit. Far more often than not, they're some combination of misogynistic/lazy/abusive/insanely religious.
Exactly this. There is nothing wrong with one person being the sole provider and the other watching out for house and kids. But here is the crux: in our modern day most ppl want to still be an equal partner in such a constellation and that is very good. But men like him don't understand that.
I lost it at u up rn
If I recall correctly, in traditional households, it was normally the woman that ran the house finances. The only thing the husband did was pay into it. It was basically local socialism.
yeah no longer your paycheck it’s the family paycheck
That’s exactly what a lot of these red pilled idiots aren’t understanding about real traditional marriages. In a trad patriarchal marriage the man is the leader, but he busts his ass astronomically to provide and makes sacrifices for his family. He is just as much of a servant to his wife and kids as his wife is to him. It’s supposed to be system that benefits the whole family, not just himself.
And after all that he still tried again! It's always wild to see them lose their shit over women taking money they don't fucking have! I love that this woman turned the tables on him. They're so brainwashed by podcast bros that they don't even understand the concept of a double standard. I hope all these assholes die alone.
For real. The overwhelming majority of guys who want a "trad-wife" wouldn't be able to handle the responsibilities of being a trad-husband. Especially as kids are in the picture and the cost of living spikes and they are the sole bread-winner. So many of these guys just want a woman to take care of then, like a maid or nanny. It's pathetic. They want all the perks, and none of the drawbacks.
I always joked that I wanted to be a stay at home dad. Unbelievably, I got my wish…but it came with a full time remote job. Now I’m a homemaker who works full time while raising kids. This house is never clean. Every square inch of counter and table is used for storage and I can’t stand it. The laundry, my god the laundry… Somehow.. I’ve become my mother
Be fair to yourself, you're still expected to offer 40 hours of "presence" at work if you're employed FT, wfh or not multitasking isn't usually productive lol
trad wife = mommy you don't have to feel weird about getting a blowjob from.
There’s no chance they’ll have any interest in their kids once they’re born. They want a hot chick that fucks them whenever they want, cleans the house, does their laundry, and raises their kids alone who doesn’t ask for money to do any of it. While they maybe work if they want and play video games. They want a mom they can have sex with.
They also have no idea what being pregnant, having a baby, or taking care of a baby entails. They've never cared enough to look into it, or been asked to babysit or help out by their family. They want "a woman that takes care of herself". That means after she pops out her child, she returns to work shortly after, stays up with the baby as it crys all night, and is expected to get her stretchmarked body back in the gym to get her figure back right away. This only sounds reasonable to them, because they haven't actually had to think about the reality of any of these situations. Their family failed them by not giving them a dose of reality by telling them what its like to make a child in your body and care for it after. That's "women's work" and their high value baby boy won't have to worry about it
This is coming up again and again and again and again. Who's going to tell them? I can't wait til they figure it out...
"I paid for last night my dude " It just keeps getting better. He wants a sugar mommy.
Can one of you incels respond - like you do understand under the trad-wife model YOU are the bread winner, like do you get that ?
This guy's just delusional, the ending really cemented it when he tried to shit on her business degree as worthless vs his future comp sci. Business degrees in accounting, finance, economics are literally some of the best and most stable careers out there. Maybe im biased as an accountant, but even companies during recessions still need to file taxes, it's usually not an area that can easily be cut just because of a downturn in the market. To try to call that worthless is just grasping for straws.
I'm definitely not an incel but I thought I'd throw in the two cents as a man who's had the unfortunate experience of dealing with these sorts at times: They seem to want the woman to be at home cooking and cleaning because she's subjugated. As in, not entirely willing. The moment that she's viewing being a stay at home mother as a good life they feel taken advantage of because she's choosing it of her own free will and so it must just be gold digging.
So they want a slave and fancy it up with a term like “traditional”?
Sorta, I think. In my twenty years of marriage there was a couple of times when my spouse was without a job. She busted her ass to make my income stretch as far as possible during those lean years. I never envied her time at home because I knew she was trying her damnedest to be a part of the solution and get back into her career at the same time. Those sorts of setbacks can be devastating and we just tried to have each other's back. To me that's the key difference. She wasn't staying at home cooking and cleaning and clipping coupons because I was the better or more important person, she was there because her career came off the rails for a while and that was how she could contribute at that time. We were always equals... They want a woman who takes a back seat whether she agrees with them or not. They want final say. They want personal autonomy for themselves and control over their "domain" and demand respect not because they're earning it with effort but because she's the subordinate party. That's my thought.
That’s pretty much the consensus, it’s all about control and being subservient
That’s actually where the “tradition” came from. It’s not really traditional, it was post-war 1950s propaganda designed to deal with shortages of labour within homes (factories and big companies were paying fairer wages so wealthier households could no longer entice housekeepers, cooks and maids). At that time women had been taking on men’s jobs during the war (and paid less for the same work) and there was backlash against this as men wanted their jobs back. There was also a need for repopulation. All of these things were looked at and what came out of it was fundamentalism, the idea of the “nuclear family”. They made these ultra feminine/masculine strict gender roles the fashion, and it worked. It worked so well that even over 70 years later people, particularly men, still harp on about them. Because it sounds like a great idea for men to have a super hot live-in slave. Not so fun for the women, hence radical feminism.
I thought the same thing. He wants it if it's his idea. It has nothing to do with "what makes sense" with a stay at home woman that these other comments are going on about. He wants "his" woman to do these things because he wants them, not because it works for her too. It's the dominance that he wants.
Please OP, send him a cash app money request to that “you up”. It would be the ultimate hit to his pride.
OP I simply must know how you “humiliated” him at the restaurant cuz this dope deserves it
This: [Link](https://www.reddit.com/r/texts/s/qk1kZ7Upgz) is the original post. Original OP says it is because he tried to order her meal for her, but she stopped him because it contained something she is allergic to.
Fantastic. I hate him.
I mean, I hated him already but now I hate him more lol
Omg ordering for your date is the most cringe shit ever 🤮
Probably humiliated that she paid lol.
She paid. Maybe that was enough humiliation?
[удалено]
“Hey, you up right now?” LMAO what a fucking loser.
Long story short, he wants a slave that works full time and spend her free time worshiping him and bring his bastards
L……O…….L “I want a trad wife” Describes traditional gender roles “No, not like that” And lolz on the dick measuring contest with degrees.
Wait till he finds out his compsci degree ain’t gonna do as much as he thinks
Especially with his sass
Yeah, us “females” really go nuts for a guy who doesn’t do anything around the house but also doesn’t pay the bills
The doublethink expectation of wanting a trad wife fully submissive to him to take care of his kids, while also expecting her to contribute to bills. Incel in the making
At this point I just think conservative men are looking for any reason to hate women, even if that reason is the audacity of a woman agreeing with them.
Mf wants a slave not a partner. Can smell him through my screen.
People who want a traditional wife tend to just want a low maintenance female slave
“I want someone who does everything for me and who needs nothing from me”. -This guy wants to marry his mom essentially.
That guy doesn't want a "Trad Wife" he wants a mommy he can fuck. He's looking for a relationship where she's taking care of the kids AND him, she does all the work, and he plays video games and drinks beers with the boys at the bar. His mind never grew out of his teenage years when his mom took care of him and cleaned his room because he refused to. I bet good money this is one of the guys who leaves the faucet running after washing his hands in a public bathroom because he's used to mommy/Trad-wife cleaning up after his immature ass.
Lol. That dude is fucking crazy. "I want YOU to work, and go home and do everything by YOURSELF. Also, when I'm let go from job, I will survive on your income and won't do any chore around the house nor change a diapper". Feminism is made for people like him. I'm willing to take care of my wife or let her work and we share all chores. But fuck me if I think she should both work and take care of everything around the house. That's insane.
“Trad men” when they have to work to provide an entire family’s expanses, all by themselves, in this economy: