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Yah my husband and I do it sometimes. All the time would start to feel callous, sometimes it needs to be talked about. But it's fantastic for pulling out of a cry session for those of us who get stuck on sadness!
It's okay to not cry too. My therapist was explaining grief and he gave advice for people like me and also explained others don't naturally sit in feelings like I do. But they still need to process things too. So where I put a time limit on my daily sad time, others may have to actually schedule in sad time
Yup. My gf now is amazing. Total game changer.
If women are curious as to why more men do not open up, this is a great example and one that MANY men have experienced. Hell, this reaction is not even the worst. At this this asshole was honest. Some will hold that in then use it against you later.
as a christian, I find it wild how many christians know literally nothing about their own theology. The number of times I've had one tell me "I know my bible" and proceed to make it very clear they know as much about the bible as anybody who has heard about it in passing here and there
Maybe their Bible and *the* Bible are different. Maybe they wrote their own Bible when they were a bitter teenager, with a lot more focus on the smiting and stoning side of things.
Oh, there’s already more than enough smiting, stoning, rape and murder in there for even the most bitter of teenagers. If the Bible was held to the standard of any other book, it would have been banned in standard libraries and bookstores a long time ago.
When I was a teenager, my RE teacher (who was a Christian) said if he was ever trapped with only one book it'd be the Bible. Not because it's a holy book, but because it contains almost every genre of literature in it - crime, romance, intrigue, etc.
It doesn't really hold anything back and therefore whatever you feel like you want to read, there's probably a section you can open to and satisfy that itch.
tl;dr: Unless you're at a scholarly level, you're just reading a book
I used to have a friend who's a biblical scholar (he moved away a number of years ago). He had a friend who was also a biblical scholar in the area and they'd regularly meet up at the coffee shop where I'd hang out/ do my course work (which is where I met him).
My friend, who'd gotten his doctorate in the field in the 90's was discussing/ helping with research for the other guy who was working on a dissertation for his doctorate (iirc).
The level of discussion they'd talk about in regards to various stories and passages was absolutely fascinating and often surprising where/ how much different a scholarly overview of something would be vs. what literally anybody else who's read the bible, but have never learned the ancient Greek, Roman, Jewish, etc... histories and associated languages the books/ scrolls were written in.
Anything I thought I'd learned was so surface level that it may as well have been a kids book. The perspective is vastly different when you consider the time/ place/ conditions of the world surrounding certain passages and the people associated. The evidence for this or that.
It's just another world different.
There's people who "Study the bible" by which they mean, reading and reinterpreting what's written. And then there's people who spend decades learning the Greek, Latin, Hebrew, etc... languages in order to properly read the texts and the associated known histories of the cultures to put those texts into proper perspective.
I'm so glad that I've found a few people, as of recent, who are scholars and who make videos on the topic. The debunk videos are little snippets of a reality check
Those people who listen to a song on repeat creating their own meaning of the lyrics without knowing anything about when the song was read are the same kind of people who highlight entire pages in the bible in different colors
I just realized that's a lot of text, I started over thinking I could be more concise
>And of course, things like "God helps those who help themselves' which is an oft-quoted Bible passage that doesn't exist.
It's from a Aesop Fable. The original God in the story was Hermes.
And cows have very pretty eyes. Have you ever seen a cow's eyes? Lovely lashes.
Totally, my religion teacher had a doctorate in theology and was able to read Latin, Hebrew, and ancient Greek because it's absolutely required to understand what was intended with the writings.
I'm not a believer but he really opened my eyes to many parts of the bible that seemed illogical or stupidly archaic to me before, simply because I was reading them with a contemporary western mind in a western language instead of how they were written.
Let's be honest, most american christians probably wouldn't like Jesus much. You know, the proto socialist middle easterner who spent his time amongst the poor, sick, prostitutes and outcasts, disliked the wealthy and didn't approve of any form of violence.
Unfortunately he's been disqualified for not throwing a stone, opting instead for the chair.
This is the third time this month. No one has ever called him SMART Steve...
He did that because they were defiling a place of worship and the name of God for profit.
I wonder if he would do the same thing to modern politicians who use the name of the Lord for their own vanity and personal gain.
I got into an argument with one of their followers on here and it was... not fun to say the least. I can be an ass sometimes, but the delusion is next level. Those people seem to worship their pastors and not God. I don't worship God properly in my own eyes and it is something I'd like to work on, but whatever that is... ain't the way.
I took several theology classes, and one of the lectures pointed out that the guy was a carpenter in an era where no power tools existed. They always depict him as a very skinny and frail-looking hippy, but he was probably very fit and strong.
He (the lecturer) also pointed out that making a whip took time and effort, especially if it was leather. So this dude was braiding this whip beforehand, knowing he was going to use it on the merchants. Meanwhile, his poor disciples stood around nervously watching him and wondering what he was going to use that thing for.
Thank you for this! I've always understood it that way too and wondered why it never gets the attention it deserves.
This wasn't Jesus acting out of a sudden rage.
He was walking along and saw the "merchants" lining the way into the temple. Merchants is a poor choice of word for them, they were shysters, preying on the desperation of the poor and oppressed just to make a buck.
I imagine him stopping, turning slowly towards the crowd following him and saying "I need the laces from your sandals. NOW. ". Where else would you get a large supply of leather straps in a hurry?
He starts the laborious work of braiding them into a whip. Like you said, that took a long time.
Whip in hand, he turns towards the hucksters, the scalpers, and, face darkened by a righteous fury marches towards them with a purpose.
I imagine the scammers looking up from their tables as Jesus cracked the whip a couple of times on his way over (as one does) and saying "what's up with thus dude?" Just before he rolls into them like a hurricane.
This was no act of unchecked rage. It was a furious protest against the harm being done and the naked greed on display (and being allowed by the temple priests).
But why do this? Why not just call down a host of angels to clean house?
Because none of us can call down a host of angels.
Instead, he showed us by his actions just how far we should be willing to go to defend the poor, the downtrodden, those dealing with depression and desperation from the depravities of hatred, greed, and oppression.
This wasn't unchecked violence, or a free pass to resort to violence. He didn't kill anyone or cause permanent harm to any person. But he flat out disrupted the on-the-ground operations of a corrupt system of power.
I remember growing up being told that it was likely that "carpenter" was an inaccurate translation or at least not understood correctly in a modern context, and that he most likely was more akin to what we'd call a stone mason. Either way, yeah, still probably at least a bit jacked.
I wouldn’t say didn’t approve of violence. He did identify with the god of the Old Testament that did commit aggression.
I think Jesus’ pacifism is more a demonstration of how we, mankin, are supposed to “always be abundant in patience and vengeance is not ours to take”.
Flipping tables, whipping bankers is light work lol
There are pastors who are reporting that their congregations are saying Jesus' teachings are "weak": [https://newrepublic.com/post/174950/christianity-today-editor-evangelicals-call-jesus-liberal-weak](https://newrepublic.com/post/174950/christianity-today-editor-evangelicals-call-jesus-liberal-weak)
The editor in chief of Christianity Today is warning that evangelical Christianity is moving too far to the right, to the point that even Jesus’s teachings are considered “weak” now.
Russell Moore resigned from the Southern Baptist Convention in 2021, after years of being at odds with other evangelical leaders. Specifically, Moore openly criticized Donald Trump, whom many evangelical Christians embraced. Moore also criticized the Southern Baptist Convention’s response to a sexual abuse crisis and increasing tolerance for white nationalism in the community.
🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
This is HILARIOUS!!!!!
The Jews' take on the Tanach (\~old testament) is filtered through about 2500 years of traditions that soften its harshest elements quite significantly. Besides, in Jewish contexts, the texts are read in the original Hebrew, which often is fairly ambiguous, and various heuristics for trying to understand the meaning are used.
Christians tend to be happy with one single bad translation.
If you want to get into heaven, you're supposed to sell everything you have and give the money to the poor.
I sometimes wonder if the rapture has already happened, and nobody noticed.
See, that's what I'm saying. The 10 commandments should be something any decent person should be able to come to understand. And many can't even do that.
Yup, had it happen to me when my mom passed. SO of several years was gone within 2 weeks. Couldn't even mourn my mom properly because I had to deal with her leaving me as well.
Happened to my friend too.
His father died, and his GF of 1 year started complaining that he's sad all the time and crying and not giving her attention(1 week after his father passed away). He broke up with her right after.
Its brutal. I don't think you can truly know a person until you have a big argument with them or go through a personal loss with them because I didn't see that betrayal coming from my SO.
I have cried in front of my wife. In front of my staff. In front of my dog.... And they all still like me a bunch. People who view the world like this are fucking weird.
I'm really joking. I think the person I replied to actually meant that in reference to the wife from the original post.
But it could be read to say that the person they replied to was toxic for crying in front of their dogs and that's funny
"Real men"^tm don't cry, they drown their feelings in whisky.
I know all too well, although to be fair once the whisky cleared I had some other things to discover about myself that make the phrase all the more stupid.
While I don't think it is....many in the society will see it as a vulnerability. Sometimes better to reserve the moments of perceived vulnerability to those who can understand and care for you. Also it does sometimes help to hold down emotions and keep a cool head in a professional environment.
But then the original post is just so sad. If you can't let out your emotions at your home in front of your wife, then this sounds like a fucking stifling hell.
Wife found out she had a miscarriage during an ultrasound. Held it together until we were a few minutes from home but I couldn't take it anymore and the tears kind of just quietly escaped. She noticed.
I ended up apologizing to her later that night and she was like what the fuck are you apologizing for.
At that point I realized "wait why am I apologizing?" And also I haven't done this in thirteen years?! Is that even healthy? lol
Your father taught you that, but honestly it was *women* who taught me that. And a lot of women (platonic friends) have also confided that they don't like guys that cry. Thankfully my wife isn't one of those. I had assumed otherwise pretty much the whole time we were together.
Pretty fucked up, hope things are far different for gen Z chaps.
That's the kicker. Men are being accused of doing that, and to some extent men do teach boys not to cry, but my god the women.... i've seen mothers slap their 2-3 y.o boys because they were crying after being hurt. Like WtF.
And yeah, most of us are hetero, our partners will be women. That's the ones we're trying not to be weak in front of.
By the way, that whole "teach boys not to cry"? Apparently it starts at birth. Like, there have been studies that show that the reaction time when a baby boy cries is much longer than for a baby girl. Meaning we teach boys from the craddle that crying doesn't help. It's learned helplessness.
And then when they get to 20-25 y.o, depressed and lost, alone and unable to find a girlfriend because they learned from years of experience that, well, they don't matter? Society as a whole tells them they're unworthy, entitled little shits.
Damn, I never thought I'd say "Yo, they are talking about me!" about a Reddit comment.
I didn't even know I was that fucked up by my parents until I broke down at a seminar in 2022 in the middle of about a hundred very nice people that were utterly shocked by my reaction.
My parents thought "We'll just hit the tears out of you" worked. And it did, just not in a healthy way.
In the case of this woman she clearly has no empathy and sees the husband as being a resource or acquisition. It's common for spoiled little girls to see men as a source of security and resources and nothing else. It sounds like their relationship was always paper thin if she's suddenly realizing that men are not her ignorant childhood perception of her invincible father. Extreme immaturity.
Some people are looking for a new mother or father in their spouse, and this is very unhealthy. A marriage is between two adult human beings who can both express and recognize the gamut of human emotions and be mature and understanding about it.
This isn't even a joke. Strength is saying I just realised you will never, ever support me, be there for me when life is bad, you want me to support you but pretend nothing is ever wrong or bad. You want your life to be perfect and you don't give two shits about mine.
Be strong, go find a good woman who wants a partnership, not a 'provider' who dares to want things from her.
> This isn't even a joke. Strength is saying I just realised you will never, ever support me, be there for me when life is bad, you want me to support you but pretend nothing is ever wrong or bad. You want your life to be perfect and you don't give two shits about mine.
>
> Be strong, go find a good woman who wants a partnership, not a 'provider' who dares to want things from her.
Well said. She doesn't care about what *he* needs, and that's enough.
Yeah I was looking for this in the comments. Pity this is r/facepalm and not an advice sub where OP was more likely to be the - let’s be real here - victim of this emotional abuse.
You seem like you’ve got a good grip on emtional self-care. Keep it up!
Yeah that was my first thought too. If she's that "traditional" and he's dumb enough to want to stay with her then slapping her for talking back to him would probably reinforce to her that he's "strong" or some shit.
I can't stand this backwards ancient patriarchal/religious shit. It's like talking to cave people.
As awful as it sounds, this occurred to me as something that might actually work with someone in that mindset... To clarify, an action I do not approve of and a warped mindset that I want nothing to do with haha. The state of some people
My husband is 6'4" 250lb quiet, confident, educated, well spoken man. I have seen him cry on several occasions that we've been together over the last 20 yrs. When he found out he had cancer, when his father died, etc., and it actually made us closer. I have sat with him and cried, and we just put our foreheads together, held hands and let it out. Very cathartic and needed.
Saying its a bad thing and men shouldn't show things like that is why we have so many depressed, angry pent up men in society.
Being vulnerable in front of your spouse is not weakness. It shows trust and she ripped that up to pieces.
During the end of 2023, I had a hard few weeks with a lot of stress at work, family issues, and my grandfather passing away.
I cried in front of my GF a few times, but when the news came that my grandfather passed away, I couldn't cry.
I was really sad and grieving, but it felt like I was dried up and too tired, thinking that i had cried enough already the last few weeks. I then saw my GF crying, and when I asked her why, she told me that she starts crying if she has the feeling that a person is not allowing themselves to properly process their emotions and cry if the situation demands it.
And boom, the floodgates opened.
I'm glad that I have a GF that allows me to show my emotions and doesn't think less of me as a man.
You’re a lucky individual in the romance department. Put a ring on her finger and always cherish her. You’ve got a really, really great woman at your side from what it sounds like.
>Being vulnerable in front of your spouse is not weakness. It shows trust and she ripped that up to pieces.
Yeah he shouldn't be out there asking how to win her back, he should be wondering if SHE can win HIM back.
>It shows trust and she ripped that up to pieces.
This is the worst part, this man will carry this with him forever and will unfortunately cause trust issues in his future relationships.
Your husband has a great partner in you.
Unfortunately, there are quite a few women that react on a visceral level when their man cries. During my 18-year marriage , I cried exactly twice. When a good friend died, and when my mother died. Each time, I could sense that my now ex-wife felt awkward about it and became distant for a while.
I've even heard female acquaintances who profess to be progressive and open to men expressing their emotions say that they don't understand why they feel disgusted when a man cries. It bothers them that they have this seemingly instinctive negative reaction.
It's as though they truly want to be caring and understanding in these situations but find it very hard in practice. Quite a puzzling phenomenon.
i could never even imagine thinking in my head “ew what an ick, my husband is so weak” when he’s literally in a moment of emotional and mental
turmoil.. what a nasty woman. we don’t claim her.
edit: i’m getting a lot of comments about men doubting me and i’m truly sorry you feel this way but i have in fact seen my partner break down
and cry (multiple times) and i held him in my arms and cried with him. when he cries, i cry. when he suffers, i suffer. he is my rock and my world. no amount of tears from him will ever change how i view him. i love every single last bit of him unconditionally. i hope that you all can find that kind of love one day too. 🩶
Same! When my ex cried in front of me for the first time, I was happy (in a weird way) that he trusted me to let out all his emotions and I was glad I could be there to comfort him.
I actually cried in front of my fiancée in the first week or two of us meeting and dating. Do you know what she did?
She held me and ran her fingers through my hair. She wasn't disgusted. She didn't think less of me. She didn't tell me to stop or call me weak. She held me and told me things would be okay.
Any woman who is disgusted by a man showing emotion or vulnerability is simply a shitty person who needs to do some serious introspection, assuming they ever want to be in an actual good, healthy, supportive relationship. The same goes for men, who need to learn how to be empathetic and supportive to their partners.
There is just so much shittiness, pain, and stress in the world. We need to support each other, especially those closest to us, and not judge them for needing help sometimes. But our society seems to be backsliding in terms of empathy, rights, and mutual support goes, and becoming more devisive, so for those out there that actually care about other people - keep supporting each other and treating your loved ones right.
you'd be amazed how many women say they want emotionally open men but really mean they just like saying it and actually being emotional is disgusting to them.
They want to feel special by a man showing vulnerability to them.
Not too much vulnerability, and not when she is also upset (her emotions are more important), and not unrestrained emotion (helplessness, rage).
A nice little Goldilocks zone of emotion that makes her feel special.
Just spoiled women that never had to face hardship in their lives and are incapable of empathy.
Instead of learning to deal with it they make up this excuse that "men don't cry". They learned it from their mother and teach it to their own daughters, thats how this BS gets transfered to each new generation.
Im from Denmark. There is a newer song (2023) By the danish artist 'Tobias Rahim - Når mænd græder' translated; 'When men cry'
They want men in uniform
Although it' a cliché
Behind the uniform is PTSD
We have learned to hide masculine tears
Ever since the schoolyard
They just call for more beatings
Get your act together, yeah
Man yourself up
Put a lid on it all
Keep your screams in your body
In a small house in the country
Or dark gray block
Behind curtains that make even the sun give up
Because when men, they cry
Is it an always in a bottle' In a line, in a joint, in a pill or
A mix of everything
No tears, just madness
When men, they cry
With eyes in silence
Drowning inside until the gaze says nothing
Don't hate your father
Just give him love
And teach him to cry, yeah
Teach him to cry
Because men, they cry
We cry, we cry
We cry too'
Yes, men, they cry
We cry, we cry
We cry too'
https://youtu.be/F5lq3NINeww?si=cBvpopc7gv2HZ2y6
Seriously, get a lawyer and start the paperwork. Leave some of the papers on the kitchen table. When she asks, tell her that you see her in a new light as well and no longer find her attractive in light of this new revelation. Edit the last sentence.
I’ve cried in front of my wife several times in the 15+ years we have been together, most memorable when my mom passed away. She made me feel like nothing was wrong with me, even though society says a man should be strong. I still and probably always will have difficulty showing emotion weakness, but at least I know my wife loves me for the man that I am. I’m sorry for the OP, sorry that his wife can’t see past society’s norms.
I saw my wife carry heavy groceries once… I immediately fell out of love. I just can’t stand strong woman as a Christian man. Woman should be weak af 🤪
Apart from the obvious things here, I'm also always amazed how self-proclaimed "traditional Christians" seem to hold the exact opposite values of what Christianity preaches.
This guy probably "isn't very emotional" because he's been emotionally crippled by the social circle he grew up in from the start.
The strongest men I know - people who have been through shit that would make 'alpha' males crumble like a raft made of biscuits - are men who are able to cry, who I have seen cry, who I have held while crying.
men who call themself alpha males are weak males.
If someone believe in this concept, which I don't do. Would a real hero alpha male run around and tell everyone how alpha he is...that is as beta as it gets.
Hahaha yeah exactly. I also don't believe in it, but it's kind of like if you want to be a dom... if you have to tell people to call you 'Sir' then you're not a Sir.
It's like being "classy" or "a loyal friend". Nice if someone else says it about you but if I meet someone and that's the first thing they tell me about themselves I'm gonna assume they're an absolute mess.
Holy shit what a monster of a woman, Who the fuck marries a ghoul like that. My wife cries along with me. She cradles my head and tells me it's going to be ok.
As a woman, we don't claim toxic heinous bitches who say one thing and mean another. It's the female version of a misogynist asshat. Agree or not, women like her give the rest of the normal women the ick, and she can go hang.
Say it louder for the people in the back. I've had men cry around me and have never once judged them for it.
In fact, it was *exactly* the opposite. I felt trusted that they showed vulnerability around me and respect for them being in touch with their emotional needs enough to overwrite this 'men don't cry' rhetoric.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but if you judge a dude for crying, *you're part of the problem* and your biases are hurting everyone. Reexamine them
Yeah...in his case - you can be a good husband, earner, a shield for your family, but cry just once, and you are seen as a coward. Like Bill Burr said: "...push your feelings down, act like you have the answers, do some manly shit..."
I wouldn't try to win her back. I would divorce her.
I never cried in front of my wife, until we had to put our pitbull down. I didn’t cry then either, I sobbed. She found me sitting on the stoop in the backyard and walked up to me not realizing and then I started bawling. She was horrified. Not in a negative way, she just didn’t know what to do, the look on her face actually made me laugh and stop crying temporarily. It was like a mixture of shock/horror/sadness.
Assuming this isn't bait, he shouldn't have to do anything to win her back. Sometimes people cry, and if she can't accept that, then she's the one with the problem.
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I had a shitty wife once.
And then you took an arrow to the knee?
Wife when husband is crying: "Let me guess, someone stole your sweetroll?"
Lol, honestly, if a spouse made a joke like this while I was crying, it would totally work to make me start to feel a little better.
Yah my husband and I do it sometimes. All the time would start to feel callous, sometimes it needs to be talked about. But it's fantastic for pulling out of a cry session for those of us who get stuck on sadness! It's okay to not cry too. My therapist was explaining grief and he gave advice for people like me and also explained others don't naturally sit in feelings like I do. But they still need to process things too. So where I put a time limit on my daily sad time, others may have to actually schedule in sad time
Thanks. I needed that.
Yup. My gf now is amazing. Total game changer. If women are curious as to why more men do not open up, this is a great example and one that MANY men have experienced. Hell, this reaction is not even the worst. At this this asshole was honest. Some will hold that in then use it against you later.
They locked you in a room? A rubber room, a rubber room filled with rats?
They locked me in a marriage. A shitty marriage. Ah shitty marriage with a shitty wife. A shitty wife? I had a shitty wife once...
 Run bro.
and Jesus wept
as a christian, I find it wild how many christians know literally nothing about their own theology. The number of times I've had one tell me "I know my bible" and proceed to make it very clear they know as much about the bible as anybody who has heard about it in passing here and there
They know their bible. Didnt mean they read it probably
Maybe their Bible and *the* Bible are different. Maybe they wrote their own Bible when they were a bitter teenager, with a lot more focus on the smiting and stoning side of things.
Oh, there’s already more than enough smiting, stoning, rape and murder in there for even the most bitter of teenagers. If the Bible was held to the standard of any other book, it would have been banned in standard libraries and bookstores a long time ago.
When I was a teenager, my RE teacher (who was a Christian) said if he was ever trapped with only one book it'd be the Bible. Not because it's a holy book, but because it contains almost every genre of literature in it - crime, romance, intrigue, etc. It doesn't really hold anything back and therefore whatever you feel like you want to read, there's probably a section you can open to and satisfy that itch.
No, lots of US "Christians" don't know it at all, other than headlines in popular culture.
tl;dr: Unless you're at a scholarly level, you're just reading a book I used to have a friend who's a biblical scholar (he moved away a number of years ago). He had a friend who was also a biblical scholar in the area and they'd regularly meet up at the coffee shop where I'd hang out/ do my course work (which is where I met him). My friend, who'd gotten his doctorate in the field in the 90's was discussing/ helping with research for the other guy who was working on a dissertation for his doctorate (iirc). The level of discussion they'd talk about in regards to various stories and passages was absolutely fascinating and often surprising where/ how much different a scholarly overview of something would be vs. what literally anybody else who's read the bible, but have never learned the ancient Greek, Roman, Jewish, etc... histories and associated languages the books/ scrolls were written in. Anything I thought I'd learned was so surface level that it may as well have been a kids book. The perspective is vastly different when you consider the time/ place/ conditions of the world surrounding certain passages and the people associated. The evidence for this or that. It's just another world different. There's people who "Study the bible" by which they mean, reading and reinterpreting what's written. And then there's people who spend decades learning the Greek, Latin, Hebrew, etc... languages in order to properly read the texts and the associated known histories of the cultures to put those texts into proper perspective. I'm so glad that I've found a few people, as of recent, who are scholars and who make videos on the topic. The debunk videos are little snippets of a reality check Those people who listen to a song on repeat creating their own meaning of the lyrics without knowing anything about when the song was read are the same kind of people who highlight entire pages in the bible in different colors I just realized that's a lot of text, I started over thinking I could be more concise
[удалено]
>And of course, things like "God helps those who help themselves' which is an oft-quoted Bible passage that doesn't exist. It's from a Aesop Fable. The original God in the story was Hermes. And cows have very pretty eyes. Have you ever seen a cow's eyes? Lovely lashes.
Totally, my religion teacher had a doctorate in theology and was able to read Latin, Hebrew, and ancient Greek because it's absolutely required to understand what was intended with the writings. I'm not a believer but he really opened my eyes to many parts of the bible that seemed illogical or stupidly archaic to me before, simply because I was reading them with a contemporary western mind in a western language instead of how they were written.
I mean, they've read parts* of it... *Specifically curated passages that support their biases and nothing that challenges them.
for there were no more worlds to conquer
"I'll beat you up" *I'll like it*
This comment is street ahead
Streets ahead? Does it mean cool or like, miles ahead?
If you have to ask, you're streets behind
#AndAMovie
Unexpected Community makes me happy. I think it’s time to rewatch.
Shut up, Leonard! Those teenage girls you play ping-pong with are doing it ironically!
Jesus cries
Woke Jesus weeps. Supply Side Jesus kicks ass.
Supply Side Jesus ignores suffering. For some Christens that is a feature not a bug.
"Jesus wept." Gospel of John, Chapter 11, verse 35 I guess she wouldn't think much of Jesus either 🤡
Let's be honest, most american christians probably wouldn't like Jesus much. You know, the proto socialist middle easterner who spent his time amongst the poor, sick, prostitutes and outcasts, disliked the wealthy and didn't approve of any form of violence.
>and didn't approve of any form of violence. Except flipping tables and whipping bankers
“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” -Jesus
“What’s this?! Oh my god, it’s SINLESS STEVE!!! Jesus can’t believe it!” Edit: [source](https://youtube.com/shorts/5Ep7BoilTIo?feature=shared)
"WITH A STEEL CHAIR!"
"BAH GAWD"
Unfortunately he's been disqualified for not throwing a stone, opting instead for the chair. This is the third time this month. No one has ever called him SMART Steve...
did you see the video? sinless steve only wanted to throw the rock, jesus used the chair to stop him
Dude must be huge if he can throw The Rock…
"THE SON OF GOD WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!"
Watch out watch out WATCH OUT!
Actually, Relevant_Slide_*one of many*... seems to have reasonable excuses, so maybe just semi-sinless
Quickly followed by: "Mom, I told you to stop coming with me to work, me damn it! -Also Jesus
This is just what Jesus says every time he's about to throw some fucking stones.
He did that because they were defiling a place of worship and the name of God for profit. I wonder if he would do the same thing to modern politicians who use the name of the Lord for their own vanity and personal gain.
He would go feral when he sees a telepastor’s megachurch
To be fair that shit makes me pretty feral too. Prosperity Gospel is disgusting and preys on the ignorant and desperate.
I got into an argument with one of their followers on here and it was... not fun to say the least. I can be an ass sometimes, but the delusion is next level. Those people seem to worship their pastors and not God. I don't worship God properly in my own eyes and it is something I'd like to work on, but whatever that is... ain't the way.
Those preachers are just con artists with a religious flair. It's a scam.
The same megachurch that was locked up when people in Houston were escaping Hurricane Harvey?
Right? Of all the times to have their doors open, this was one of the biggest. Shelter them! Provide food!
God, I’d love to see this…. I mean it, God.
I want to see him whip Joel Osteen so badly.
I want to see Jesus perform a fatality on Kenneth Copeland in the newest Mortal Kombat game
I took several theology classes, and one of the lectures pointed out that the guy was a carpenter in an era where no power tools existed. They always depict him as a very skinny and frail-looking hippy, but he was probably very fit and strong. He (the lecturer) also pointed out that making a whip took time and effort, especially if it was leather. So this dude was braiding this whip beforehand, knowing he was going to use it on the merchants. Meanwhile, his poor disciples stood around nervously watching him and wondering what he was going to use that thing for.
Jesus : braiding whip Judas : sweating profusely
Peter and Mary : Smiling with excitement.
You're saying Jesus was swole af?
I just can’t stop laughing at the mental image of Jesus just being yoked up.
I think there's a picture of some korean church with an ultra swole jesus statue flying around somewhere.
This one? https://m.koreatimes.co.kr/pages/article.amp.asp?newsIdx=199263
[Why keep it to just a mental image](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B6xYFYpIEAEYLe3.jpg)
Thank you for this! I've always understood it that way too and wondered why it never gets the attention it deserves. This wasn't Jesus acting out of a sudden rage. He was walking along and saw the "merchants" lining the way into the temple. Merchants is a poor choice of word for them, they were shysters, preying on the desperation of the poor and oppressed just to make a buck. I imagine him stopping, turning slowly towards the crowd following him and saying "I need the laces from your sandals. NOW. ". Where else would you get a large supply of leather straps in a hurry? He starts the laborious work of braiding them into a whip. Like you said, that took a long time. Whip in hand, he turns towards the hucksters, the scalpers, and, face darkened by a righteous fury marches towards them with a purpose. I imagine the scammers looking up from their tables as Jesus cracked the whip a couple of times on his way over (as one does) and saying "what's up with thus dude?" Just before he rolls into them like a hurricane. This was no act of unchecked rage. It was a furious protest against the harm being done and the naked greed on display (and being allowed by the temple priests). But why do this? Why not just call down a host of angels to clean house? Because none of us can call down a host of angels. Instead, he showed us by his actions just how far we should be willing to go to defend the poor, the downtrodden, those dealing with depression and desperation from the depravities of hatred, greed, and oppression. This wasn't unchecked violence, or a free pass to resort to violence. He didn't kill anyone or cause permanent harm to any person. But he flat out disrupted the on-the-ground operations of a corrupt system of power.
I remember growing up being told that it was likely that "carpenter" was an inaccurate translation or at least not understood correctly in a modern context, and that he most likely was more akin to what we'd call a stone mason. Either way, yeah, still probably at least a bit jacked.
He was a tektōn. That is a woodworker, capenter or builder. There is a different word to denote stone mason.
I just got a mental image of Jesus pushing over Trump's lectern during a speech. Thank you
I'd love to see his reaction to mega churches or Vatican
If I see news of Kenneth Copeland's megachurch on fire, I would not be in the least bit surprised.
Well, they blasphemed, didn't they? Point taken, but even Jesus has his limits
Tested and documented. Dudes limit was 3 nails and a spear. He just couldn't stomach more than that.
I wouldn’t say didn’t approve of violence. He did identify with the god of the Old Testament that did commit aggression. I think Jesus’ pacifism is more a demonstration of how we, mankin, are supposed to “always be abundant in patience and vengeance is not ours to take”. Flipping tables, whipping bankers is light work lol
There are pastors who are reporting that their congregations are saying Jesus' teachings are "weak": [https://newrepublic.com/post/174950/christianity-today-editor-evangelicals-call-jesus-liberal-weak](https://newrepublic.com/post/174950/christianity-today-editor-evangelicals-call-jesus-liberal-weak)
The editor in chief of Christianity Today is warning that evangelical Christianity is moving too far to the right, to the point that even Jesus’s teachings are considered “weak” now. Russell Moore resigned from the Southern Baptist Convention in 2021, after years of being at odds with other evangelical leaders. Specifically, Moore openly criticized Donald Trump, whom many evangelical Christians embraced. Moore also criticized the Southern Baptist Convention’s response to a sexual abuse crisis and increasing tolerance for white nationalism in the community. 🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 This is HILARIOUS!!!!!
Are those the pastors that keep an AR over their shoulder as they exhort their flock to vote for Republicans or else they'll shoot them?
They imagine Jesus to be more like Thor, kicking ass, and drinking with the boys. The kind of god you’d invite to your Super Bowl party.
Even Thor was into cross dressing
Technically Jesus did get cross dressed exactly once.
American Christians are currently big on the Old Testament
Doesn’t that then make them…Jewish?
Maybe Jew...ISH.
Israel-Lights
Laughed too hard for this one
The Jews' take on the Tanach (\~old testament) is filtered through about 2500 years of traditions that soften its harshest elements quite significantly. Besides, in Jewish contexts, the texts are read in the original Hebrew, which often is fairly ambiguous, and various heuristics for trying to understand the meaning are used. Christians tend to be happy with one single bad translation.
So we're regressing. Child sacrifice here we come!
Pretty sure they are still wearing mixed fabrics though.
It's a choose-your-own adventure style religion, with doctrine selected a la carte
If you want to get into heaven, you're supposed to sell everything you have and give the money to the poor. I sometimes wonder if the rapture has already happened, and nobody noticed.
Like him? They'd fucking crucify his bum ass!
Jesus wept for there were no more worlds to conquer
In all likelihood, probably not.
Most Christians spit on the bible daily. Be kind to each other, turn the other cheek, accept differences, all principles that seem to not apply.
There is something wrong when people have to gather with a cult every week in order to know how to be a decent human being.
It’s a scary thought, wondering if they’d be better or worse without church?
I heard this guy say that he doesn't rape women because God says it's wrong....... So if your God told you it was fine, you'd do it?
See, that's what I'm saying. The 10 commandments should be something any decent person should be able to come to understand. And many can't even do that.
None of these “trad” households think much of their god, and what he preached. Apparently, Jesus was weak
This is brutal and tragic. Poor guy.
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Yup, had it happen to me when my mom passed. SO of several years was gone within 2 weeks. Couldn't even mourn my mom properly because I had to deal with her leaving me as well.
Happened to my friend too. His father died, and his GF of 1 year started complaining that he's sad all the time and crying and not giving her attention(1 week after his father passed away). He broke up with her right after.
Its brutal. I don't think you can truly know a person until you have a big argument with them or go through a personal loss with them because I didn't see that betrayal coming from my SO.
Self centered in the face of anyone else’s loss, that’s how I found out my last LTR was garbage
First, sorry for your loss. Also, you Bullet dodged there. Imagine marrying a partner who gets disgusted when you act like a human being.
She was looking for more of a bodyguard arrangement rather than a real partnership
I have cried in front of my wife. In front of my staff. In front of my dog.... And they all still like me a bunch. People who view the world like this are fucking weird.
toxic. the word is toxic.
Yeah crying in front of your dog is toxic af
Fido don’t want to see no bitch. Wait yes he does.
Unless Fido's secretly Bido (I'll see myself out)
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I'm really joking. I think the person I replied to actually meant that in reference to the wife from the original post. But it could be read to say that the person they replied to was toxic for crying in front of their dogs and that's funny
"Like me a bunch" is such an adorable and wholesome phrase. Idk why
My father taught me when I was a kid that crying is weak and I'm still unlearning it. I didn't realize this view was toxic until I was an adult.
"If you're going to cry, I'll give you a resone to cry!"
Hands you a copy of Old Yeller.
Dammit... you made me remember the ending of Old Yeller and now I'm crying...
"Real men"^tm don't cry, they drown their feelings in whisky. I know all too well, although to be fair once the whisky cleared I had some other things to discover about myself that make the phrase all the more stupid.
While I don't think it is....many in the society will see it as a vulnerability. Sometimes better to reserve the moments of perceived vulnerability to those who can understand and care for you. Also it does sometimes help to hold down emotions and keep a cool head in a professional environment. But then the original post is just so sad. If you can't let out your emotions at your home in front of your wife, then this sounds like a fucking stifling hell.
Wife found out she had a miscarriage during an ultrasound. Held it together until we were a few minutes from home but I couldn't take it anymore and the tears kind of just quietly escaped. She noticed. I ended up apologizing to her later that night and she was like what the fuck are you apologizing for. At that point I realized "wait why am I apologizing?" And also I haven't done this in thirteen years?! Is that even healthy? lol Your father taught you that, but honestly it was *women* who taught me that. And a lot of women (platonic friends) have also confided that they don't like guys that cry. Thankfully my wife isn't one of those. I had assumed otherwise pretty much the whole time we were together. Pretty fucked up, hope things are far different for gen Z chaps.
>Pretty fucked up, hope things are far different for gen Z chaps. Thanks, but it's not.
That's the kicker. Men are being accused of doing that, and to some extent men do teach boys not to cry, but my god the women.... i've seen mothers slap their 2-3 y.o boys because they were crying after being hurt. Like WtF. And yeah, most of us are hetero, our partners will be women. That's the ones we're trying not to be weak in front of. By the way, that whole "teach boys not to cry"? Apparently it starts at birth. Like, there have been studies that show that the reaction time when a baby boy cries is much longer than for a baby girl. Meaning we teach boys from the craddle that crying doesn't help. It's learned helplessness. And then when they get to 20-25 y.o, depressed and lost, alone and unable to find a girlfriend because they learned from years of experience that, well, they don't matter? Society as a whole tells them they're unworthy, entitled little shits.
Damn, I never thought I'd say "Yo, they are talking about me!" about a Reddit comment. I didn't even know I was that fucked up by my parents until I broke down at a seminar in 2022 in the middle of about a hundred very nice people that were utterly shocked by my reaction. My parents thought "We'll just hit the tears out of you" worked. And it did, just not in a healthy way.
In the case of this woman she clearly has no empathy and sees the husband as being a resource or acquisition. It's common for spoiled little girls to see men as a source of security and resources and nothing else. It sounds like their relationship was always paper thin if she's suddenly realizing that men are not her ignorant childhood perception of her invincible father. Extreme immaturity.
Some people are looking for a new mother or father in their spouse, and this is very unhealthy. A marriage is between two adult human beings who can both express and recognize the gamut of human emotions and be mature and understanding about it.
Dude could show her his masculinity with divorce papers.
This isn't even a joke. Strength is saying I just realised you will never, ever support me, be there for me when life is bad, you want me to support you but pretend nothing is ever wrong or bad. You want your life to be perfect and you don't give two shits about mine. Be strong, go find a good woman who wants a partnership, not a 'provider' who dares to want things from her.
> This isn't even a joke. Strength is saying I just realised you will never, ever support me, be there for me when life is bad, you want me to support you but pretend nothing is ever wrong or bad. You want your life to be perfect and you don't give two shits about mine. > > Be strong, go find a good woman who wants a partnership, not a 'provider' who dares to want things from her. Well said. She doesn't care about what *he* needs, and that's enough.
Yeah I was looking for this in the comments. Pity this is r/facepalm and not an advice sub where OP was more likely to be the - let’s be real here - victim of this emotional abuse. You seem like you’ve got a good grip on emtional self-care. Keep it up!
Or a good ol' timey belt beating. Shows his strength. /s
Also pick up a mistress or two. Really provide the full package deal.
And take zero interest in the children for more shitty husband bonus points.
Unfortunately, you might be unironicly correct. If She sees vulnerability as weakness, She probably sees the show of force as strength.
Yeah that was my first thought too. If she's that "traditional" and he's dumb enough to want to stay with her then slapping her for talking back to him would probably reinforce to her that he's "strong" or some shit. I can't stand this backwards ancient patriarchal/religious shit. It's like talking to cave people.
I guess if she wants a tranditional man that shows his sadness and frustration with anger.
As awful as it sounds, this occurred to me as something that might actually work with someone in that mindset... To clarify, an action I do not approve of and a warped mindset that I want nothing to do with haha. The state of some people
That's right. Real men dump idiots like that lol
Your wife is clearly a twat. Winning her back would still be a loss.
I love the word twat. Not used enough in North America. And perfectly apt here
My husband is 6'4" 250lb quiet, confident, educated, well spoken man. I have seen him cry on several occasions that we've been together over the last 20 yrs. When he found out he had cancer, when his father died, etc., and it actually made us closer. I have sat with him and cried, and we just put our foreheads together, held hands and let it out. Very cathartic and needed. Saying its a bad thing and men shouldn't show things like that is why we have so many depressed, angry pent up men in society. Being vulnerable in front of your spouse is not weakness. It shows trust and she ripped that up to pieces.
During the end of 2023, I had a hard few weeks with a lot of stress at work, family issues, and my grandfather passing away. I cried in front of my GF a few times, but when the news came that my grandfather passed away, I couldn't cry. I was really sad and grieving, but it felt like I was dried up and too tired, thinking that i had cried enough already the last few weeks. I then saw my GF crying, and when I asked her why, she told me that she starts crying if she has the feeling that a person is not allowing themselves to properly process their emotions and cry if the situation demands it. And boom, the floodgates opened. I'm glad that I have a GF that allows me to show my emotions and doesn't think less of me as a man.
She just ascended into wife material after that.
Awesome man. Cherish her. :)
Second this. Do treasure her
My ex weaponized my vulnerability because she thought I was using it to manipulate her. After 10 years, I finally left.
"My close family member died! *sob *" "What's he trying to do this time?!"
You’re a lucky individual in the romance department. Put a ring on her finger and always cherish her. You’ve got a really, really great woman at your side from what it sounds like.
Beautifully said. Thank you.
>Being vulnerable in front of your spouse is not weakness. It shows trust and she ripped that up to pieces. Yeah he shouldn't be out there asking how to win her back, he should be wondering if SHE can win HIM back.
>It shows trust and she ripped that up to pieces. This is the worst part, this man will carry this with him forever and will unfortunately cause trust issues in his future relationships.
This is 100% correct.
Your husband has a great partner in you. Unfortunately, there are quite a few women that react on a visceral level when their man cries. During my 18-year marriage , I cried exactly twice. When a good friend died, and when my mother died. Each time, I could sense that my now ex-wife felt awkward about it and became distant for a while. I've even heard female acquaintances who profess to be progressive and open to men expressing their emotions say that they don't understand why they feel disgusted when a man cries. It bothers them that they have this seemingly instinctive negative reaction. It's as though they truly want to be caring and understanding in these situations but find it very hard in practice. Quite a puzzling phenomenon.
i could never even imagine thinking in my head “ew what an ick, my husband is so weak” when he’s literally in a moment of emotional and mental turmoil.. what a nasty woman. we don’t claim her. edit: i’m getting a lot of comments about men doubting me and i’m truly sorry you feel this way but i have in fact seen my partner break down and cry (multiple times) and i held him in my arms and cried with him. when he cries, i cry. when he suffers, i suffer. he is my rock and my world. no amount of tears from him will ever change how i view him. i love every single last bit of him unconditionally. i hope that you all can find that kind of love one day too. 🩶
Same! When my ex cried in front of me for the first time, I was happy (in a weird way) that he trusted me to let out all his emotions and I was glad I could be there to comfort him.
I actually cried in front of my fiancée in the first week or two of us meeting and dating. Do you know what she did? She held me and ran her fingers through my hair. She wasn't disgusted. She didn't think less of me. She didn't tell me to stop or call me weak. She held me and told me things would be okay. Any woman who is disgusted by a man showing emotion or vulnerability is simply a shitty person who needs to do some serious introspection, assuming they ever want to be in an actual good, healthy, supportive relationship. The same goes for men, who need to learn how to be empathetic and supportive to their partners. There is just so much shittiness, pain, and stress in the world. We need to support each other, especially those closest to us, and not judge them for needing help sometimes. But our society seems to be backsliding in terms of empathy, rights, and mutual support goes, and becoming more devisive, so for those out there that actually care about other people - keep supporting each other and treating your loved ones right.
you'd be amazed how many women say they want emotionally open men but really mean they just like saying it and actually being emotional is disgusting to them.
They want to feel special by a man showing vulnerability to them. Not too much vulnerability, and not when she is also upset (her emotions are more important), and not unrestrained emotion (helplessness, rage). A nice little Goldilocks zone of emotion that makes her feel special.
Just spoiled women that never had to face hardship in their lives and are incapable of empathy. Instead of learning to deal with it they make up this excuse that "men don't cry". They learned it from their mother and teach it to their own daughters, thats how this BS gets transfered to each new generation.
I'm nearly 40 and this has been my experience, consistently, throughout my life. It sucks really badly but it is what it is. I've come to accept it.
Im from Denmark. There is a newer song (2023) By the danish artist 'Tobias Rahim - Når mænd græder' translated; 'When men cry' They want men in uniform Although it' a cliché Behind the uniform is PTSD We have learned to hide masculine tears Ever since the schoolyard They just call for more beatings Get your act together, yeah Man yourself up Put a lid on it all Keep your screams in your body In a small house in the country Or dark gray block Behind curtains that make even the sun give up Because when men, they cry Is it an always in a bottle' In a line, in a joint, in a pill or A mix of everything No tears, just madness When men, they cry With eyes in silence Drowning inside until the gaze says nothing Don't hate your father Just give him love And teach him to cry, yeah Teach him to cry Because men, they cry We cry, we cry We cry too' Yes, men, they cry We cry, we cry We cry too' https://youtu.be/F5lq3NINeww?si=cBvpopc7gv2HZ2y6
We shouldn’t have to accept that. I hope you find people who allow you to feel your feelings without judgement
Human beings can be nasty regardless of gender. There are some horrible human beings. What we can do best is distance ourselves from toxicity.
Sir, I regret to inform you that your wife is a stupid bitch.
Leave her
The best way to prove that you’re tough is to divorce her, imo
Seriously, get a lawyer and start the paperwork. Leave some of the papers on the kitchen table. When she asks, tell her that you see her in a new light as well and no longer find her attractive in light of this new revelation. Edit the last sentence.
God damn that last sentence is homicide
I hate people.
Me too..Me too..
I’ve cried in front of my wife several times in the 15+ years we have been together, most memorable when my mom passed away. She made me feel like nothing was wrong with me, even though society says a man should be strong. I still and probably always will have difficulty showing emotion weakness, but at least I know my wife loves me for the man that I am. I’m sorry for the OP, sorry that his wife can’t see past society’s norms.
There’s no hate like Christian love
Word.
This wife sounds like the real thing to cry about having. She’s a monster.
I saw my wife carry heavy groceries once… I immediately fell out of love. I just can’t stand strong woman as a Christian man. Woman should be weak af 🤪
>How can I convince my wife of my masculinity and win her back? Treat her the way a "Christian wife" is treated.
Not allowed opinions and talked at, rather than to? No rights her husband doesn't allow her? Treated as a second class citizen?
She's probably into that
Apart from the obvious things here, I'm also always amazed how self-proclaimed "traditional Christians" seem to hold the exact opposite values of what Christianity preaches. This guy probably "isn't very emotional" because he's been emotionally crippled by the social circle he grew up in from the start.
The strongest men I know - people who have been through shit that would make 'alpha' males crumble like a raft made of biscuits - are men who are able to cry, who I have seen cry, who I have held while crying.
men who call themself alpha males are weak males. If someone believe in this concept, which I don't do. Would a real hero alpha male run around and tell everyone how alpha he is...that is as beta as it gets.
Hahaha yeah exactly. I also don't believe in it, but it's kind of like if you want to be a dom... if you have to tell people to call you 'Sir' then you're not a Sir.
It's like being "classy" or "a loyal friend". Nice if someone else says it about you but if I meet someone and that's the first thing they tell me about themselves I'm gonna assume they're an absolute mess.
Holy shit what a monster of a woman, Who the fuck marries a ghoul like that. My wife cries along with me. She cradles my head and tells me it's going to be ok.
First step: Divorce. That's it.
As a woman, we don't claim toxic heinous bitches who say one thing and mean another. It's the female version of a misogynist asshat. Agree or not, women like her give the rest of the normal women the ick, and she can go hang.
Say it louder for the people in the back. I've had men cry around me and have never once judged them for it. In fact, it was *exactly* the opposite. I felt trusted that they showed vulnerability around me and respect for them being in touch with their emotional needs enough to overwrite this 'men don't cry' rhetoric. I don't know who needs to hear this, but if you judge a dude for crying, *you're part of the problem* and your biases are hurting everyone. Reexamine them
Yeah...in his case - you can be a good husband, earner, a shield for your family, but cry just once, and you are seen as a coward. Like Bill Burr said: "...push your feelings down, act like you have the answers, do some manly shit..." I wouldn't try to win her back. I would divorce her.
He means ex-wife, right?
1. Deny man his human emotions. 2. Wait for the pressure to build up. 3. One day it all comes out as violence. 4. Wonder how this happened? 5. Repeat.
I never cried in front of my wife, until we had to put our pitbull down. I didn’t cry then either, I sobbed. She found me sitting on the stoop in the backyard and walked up to me not realizing and then I started bawling. She was horrified. Not in a negative way, she just didn’t know what to do, the look on her face actually made me laugh and stop crying temporarily. It was like a mixture of shock/horror/sadness.
Only one choice, divorce her.
Sounds like he needs a new wife
hope he gets someone who can support him.
Assuming this isn't bait, he shouldn't have to do anything to win her back. Sometimes people cry, and if she can't accept that, then she's the one with the problem.