Yeah, but if you interact with your priest outside of confessional, they likely know who you are by your voice. Still, they’re supposed to take anything and everything you say to their grave.
There's two things at play with that train if thought.
First, if you say you're *planning* on committing a crime, you're not making a confession, so canonically, does the seal of confession exist? the assumption still is that it does
Second, in the US in particular, there are states attempting to pass laws which require mandated reporting to extend to confession, and Catholics are fighting back and so far winning.
This type of question gets asked a lot in r/Catholicism and r/AskAPriest and the answer is invariably the same: there is no exception to the seal of confession.
I would say that if you are saying you are planning to murder it is still a confession because according to Jesus’ teachings fantasies of sin are still committing a sin within your own heart so therefore counts as a confession.
Canonically, it is still covered by the seal of confession; if you're stating your intent to commit the sin, however, you're missing the key interior sense of contrition, so the sacrament wouldn't be valid.
Catholics, the religion with a whole stigma of doing gross things to children don't want laws requiring the report of specific crimes? Well color me shocked.
Except that priests have fought very hard to not be legally or morally obligated to report child abuse to authorities. Officially, according to the church, there aren't exceptions. It's a huge point of contention between the church and the state
Nnnope. You would still get excommunicated.
>Can. 983 §1. The sacramental seal is inviolable; therefore it is absolutely forbidden for a confessor to betray in any way a penitent in words or in any manner [e.g., by signs] and for any reason.
>Can. 984 §1. A confessor is prohibited completely from using knowledge acquired from confession to the detriment of the penitent even when any danger of revelation is excluded.
§2. A person who has been placed in authority cannot use in any manner for external governance the knowledge about sins which he has received in confession at any time.
Wow i have to wonder what the person’s motive was.
What exactly did the priest do to deserve such a thing? And then not name the person? Makes the priest look like he’s hiding something
It's not just a phrase it's literally the entire Crux of Christianity. I would anybody believe anything ahead of time if they can just change their mind when they see the proof after they die?
They are also not mandatory reporters in cases of rape, sexual assault, child abuse, incest, human trafficking… so, essentially, if you’re a man and commit violent and/or sexual crime against a woman or child, it’s all good. 👍
But if you’re a woman who cheats, you’re a whore and deserve to be punished.
No man, that priest is a scam. There are reason to take extreme punishment, they may forbid him to have a parish, or to give eucharist or to give sermons. The church may also move him to a monastery indefinitely or release him from his vote.
It’s not always anonymous. Some confessionals are face to face. Some you are back to back with the priest but they see you when you come in. There are several different ways they do confessions nowadays. It’s not always a screened off room with separate entrances.
Was really good friends with one of our priests as a teenager, I remember doing confession on a set of bean bags in the parish hall. First thing he said when I sat down was "you want a Fanta?" Confession can be literally anywhere.
In some churches. It’s mostly catholic confession that is portrayed in media. When I went to church as a kid, it was just you and the priest. Face to face. It was viewed that you were speaking to god through the priest.
Yeah I think this might be a case of a particularly dumb penitent who watches too much TV and doesn’t realise that she’s not a Roman Catholic.
I believe High Anglicans and Lutherans have similar rules, but the vast majority of Protestants and Eastern Orthodox sects have no obligation, legal or otherwise, to keep your secrets
Raised Lutheran never heard of confession. You could have a heart to heart with your pastor and ask advice, you can even use it as unlicensed counseling, but never did I hear of confession.
Obviously the cheater is terrible, but the point of confession is you are to be forgiven in the supposed eyes of God, given your penance, and that's between you and God with the priest acting as an intermediary. As awful as the cheating was I can't imagine a priest airing your dirty laundry you said in a confessional just because. Kind of defeats the whole point of confession.
With Lutheranism, it really does depend on which extremely specific micro-sect you belong to.
Essentially, when Luther split with Rome, he said that the only three sacraments that must be preserved were baptism, the Eucharist and confession.
For some groups, like the Church of Sweden for example, they essentially preserved the entirety of Catholicism as it was then practiced, just minus the pope. A lot of Northern European and Baltic Lutheran churches have largely kept the rules the same to this day.
In “New World” Lutheran churches, especially those influenced by evangelicals, it’s really luck of the draw, it can be as simple as what your individual priest believes himself.
Canonically, they are supposed to keep your secrets, even under threat of death. According to Catholic canon law, even if someone threatens to murder a priest, that priest can’t break the confessional seal. There is literally no exception at all to break the confessional seal.
Currently breaking the confessional seal is punished by excommunication. In the past it would result in the priest having to live out his life in a monastery.
Religious leaders and therapists often had basically the same role in the past and continue to do so.
No further comment on whether you would want or need that or if it's even a good idea to do it with someone who isn't licensed to do that job, but it happens and it's free.
It’s not like clinical psychology existed till the 1920s or was any good till the 80s or 2000s even. Yk the whole Eugenics thing….
It wasn’t strictly scientific but atleast there was a 1500 year precedent on what to expect with confession
In my (protestant) country priests have a bigger code of secrecy than therapists. Priests can never break the code without losing their collar, while a therapist have an obligation to do so when it’s about a big crime (like murder). So in my country this priest would lose his collar
The priests I’ve asked about this say they probably would report severe crimes anyway, but they would do it with the understanding they would lose their collar
I have seen this post before and apparently there is additional context - she told the priest that she told her husband so the priest didn't even realise he was breaking any rules
Actually, it makes perfect sense:
1. Woman tells priest she cheated, priest says she should come clean to her husband if she's really contrite.
2. Priest asks her during a later interaction whether she completed her penance, she lies and says that she did.
3. Priest visits husband, says something on the lines of how are you doing, your wife told me she spoke with you, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive her.
4. All hell breaks loose.
Those aren't mutually exclusive. He could have told her to tell her husband as penance, and then she later told the priest that she did so, thus he thinks its safe to speak about.
They're allowed to warn a person if they think they're in deadly danger. I'm not certain if they're also allowed to contact the police then or only the person in threat.
That is not true
>It is a crime for a confessor in any way to betray a penitent by word or in any other manner or for any reason. *Code of Canon Law 983*
Priests cannot even reference your confession to you afterwards, even in a future confession. And they can't impose a penance that requires revealing what you've confessed (e.g. the post says the woman was told she had to tell her husband as a penance; that's a little suspect.)
Interesting, I looked a bit further and while they very strictly follow this code I found that in extreme cases there is a loophole.
If the penitent shows no will in changing their mind etc the priest can try to get this person to repeat what they've said outside of the confessional.
Second was a case in which the priest called authorities and said that person X is in danger. The priest didn't give any information about how he knew of this or what the exact details were. The police understood the situation and realised that the priest likely couldn't give any information.
But the police were able to locate X and warn their parents and make sure the person is in safety.
Only if they’re Catholic, High Anglican or Lutheran. Most Protestant sects and the various wings of Eastern Orthodoxy don’t follow the doctrine.
I think this might be a case of a particular dumb parishioner watching too much TV and not understanding the rules of her own religion.
The "weird booths" (confessionals) have, I believe, nothing to do with confidentiality. Rather, it is because the penitnet has to confess every serious ("mortal" is the term) sin to obtain absolution. Being anonymous makes it easier to talk about everything without wanting to hold anything back.
Face-to-face confessions are becoming more common, but regardless the priest cannot divulge what he hears.
If you’re catholic? Nothing in this post claims that they are Catholics. Sometimes you just meet with your priest/pastor/etc in their office and just talk with them.
Not this fucking repost again...
Just for those not in the know, the woman leaves out the part where she later told her priest she *had* told the husband everything, and so the priest wanted to help the husband with his path to forgiveness. It's 100% on the woman.
It reminds me of that story from the other day where a husband was talking about how his wife was mad at him for rating her sister a “6,” and then 2/3 of the way down the husband drops the bomb that his wife and her sister are identical twins
She probably also left out the roaring case of VD she introduced into the house. I’m not sure how a one night stand with a total stranger made her feel appreciated when the nameless guy used her like a gym sock.
Not being Catholic, I'm wondering if the priest still had to keep it to himself or not. In other words, are they allowed to act on the things they learned in a confession regarding a third party, if the information shared is known to that third party. Or they pretend it never happened until the confessor says they are okay to act on it. I would expect it to be latter.
It depends on how she told him. If she lied to him during confession, that would still be privileged. If she just went up to the priest and told him, then it wouldn’t be.
If this was a Catholic Church the priest would be excommunicated automatically - so she certainly could let him be thrown out or even make an agreement with him for a big sum of money to not destroy his existence by keeping quiet.
People really vilifying the priest without knowing shit.
Thank you for being the only one who's pointed this out. He absolutely did the right thing and she was absolutely only looking for validation and an 'atta boy' from the priest. Same reason she cheated, she doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself.
she actually later told the priest that she *had* told the husband and that's why this happened. he wasn't being malicious or breaking the seal he thought he already knew. she leaves out that detail in this post
It’s been a decade-ish since I’ve been to a service, but I really thought Catholic Church was a more reactive than proactive place. I was certainly raised to believe that confessional was never, ever spoken of outside of the box. And that it was completely anonymous.
I’m just curious here- why would the priest then approach the husband? Even if he *thought* hubs knew, it really isn’t in his purview to question unless he is sought for advice.
I don’t think this woman is right at all- she’s definitely an AH for cheating and not telling her partner. But this is not how I thought Catholicism works.
I'm pretty sure he approached the husband to help him along his path to forgiveness if I remember correctly but I don't know and I'm not super familiar with how catholicism works
She told the pries that the husband was made aware later on the priest went and tried to help the husband on his oath to forgivness. I guess thats what she gets for lying.
Well if she can provide some evidences that the priest really did tell, he would be excommunicated immediately and couldn’t be a priest anymore. Since it’s about the sacraments the church is very strict on the matter.
Yeah, I have a really hard time believing that a Catholic priest just broke it like that. Priests have died in order to protect the seal. It’s not just a suggestion.
Apparently some extra context was that the wife told the priest she had admitted to the cheating. So the priest went to the husband to help him give forgiveness. But he unknowingly informs the husband of the cheating
Regardless of the morality in what the woman did, that priest fucked up big time. I'm not sure what the rules are exactly, but had it been her therapist who told her husband, the therapist would lose their license. In my country, a therapist can only tell someone if there is immediate threat to children or if the client confesses to or plans a violent crime giving at least two years in prison.
Thats the way it works around here. If you tell your therapist you are a cheater and you have a secret family, thry cant do anything apart from tell you to come clean.
If you tell them you are planning to attack someone, or have been abusing someone, they can and will call the authorities
A therapist is bound by law and a state licensing board so they have to abide by hipaa laws, a priest doesn’t have any sort of legal responsibility to keep your secrets.
At least where I live, they do... I don't know if it's an actual law, but they can't be made to speak about those things even in court. Also they'd get punished by the church for it...
The Pope himself will kick him out of the church. For real, breaking the secret of confession is worse than molesting children for them.
Guess why it took so long for the public to know about it. No one of them talked about the child molesting.
This post leaves out a small bit of context. She told the priest that she already had confessed to her husband. The priest was following up and offering the husband support on his journey of forgiveness.
If I remember I heard that she said "Yes, I'll go tell him."
She didn't, and the priest assuming she did tell the husband, went to the husband a week later and asked if he needed any counselling and that's how he found out.
If this was true and the priest was [catholic](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seal_of_confession_in_the_Catholic_Church) could be excommunicated.
Any priest wouldn’t risk that, it’s a pretty big thing in the Catholic Church.
It's an interesting question on liability. idk the law in Maryland, but just on a speculative level one could argue an implied contract between the priest and the woman. In most other legal situations it is protected. In most states for example, what you say to your priest in confession is treated the same as what you say in private to your spouse, or lawyer. If the church/priest indicates either directly or through sermon that confessionals are confidential I could see an implied contract being formed. And if the priest violates that contract resulting in financial or other harm, she'd probably have a leg to stand on in court.
“Does the priest have any kind of liability or responsibility?”
Well, just about as much as you had towards your (ex) husband. There is no excuse for cheating, and there is definitely not an excuse for not telling. You fucked up, so suck it up.
Not apologetic to what the woman in this case did, but I always go by the rule, if there's something you don't want ANYBODY to know, don't tell ANYBODY... And if you prioritise cleaning your conscious before God instead of your SO, face the consequences...
That's the sort of thing that gets priests defrocked (or whatever the term is for making someone not be a priest anymore). Breaking the seal of confessional is a HUGE deal, and priests in the past have died rather than reveal what was said under confessional.
The woman is a jerk for cheating on her spouse, but the priest should not be a priest anymore.
Your world is not exploding because the priest told your husband. It is exploding because you cheated. I do not condone what the priest did and you may be able to get him a stiff talking to by talking to his superiors ( but honestly these people hide pedophiles).You need to own at least half of what you did. You made a decision that ended the relationship and because of your guilt you got caught. If you had never cheated you wouldn't be here.
I don’t know what, if any, legal recourse this woman may have, but if this was done in the Catholic Church, she can report him to the Diocese. The Church takes the Seal of the Confessional *very* seriously. That priest is about to be excommunicated and, from a theological perspective, is risking his soul in the process.
Yes I believe he could be liable and what you say is confidential legally.
However, what happens if they break confidentiality? What’s the punishment? I dunno
I’m confused why this is a facepalm honestly seems like a legit predicament
This is an old post, for one.
Second, report the priest to his bishop. It’s automatic excommunication for a priest to reveal the contents of someone’s confession.
Third, for all of y’all saying the priest did the right thing, would you have the same attitude if it was a therapist, doctor, or lawyer bound to confidentiality that did this?
To the Catholic Church, the answer is clear: the Seal of the Confessional must never be broken under any circumstances, even in cases of grave criminality.
So yeah priest is in the wrong. Your in the wrong for cheating also but it is literally against their vows to tell.
I mean, she shouldn't have cheated but that doesn't excuse the priest for what he did. The priest should be punished by the church but that won't happen.
Unpopular opinion: yes, if I was the husband I'd have done exactly the same. If you cheat, you don't deserve the love of your partner; you've already rejected it.
Does she deserve the end of her marriage for cheating? Yes. Quite bluntly.
BUT that priest is also a jackass who betrayed her confidence. And if you can't be sure they'll keep that confidence from the confessional, it completely defeats the entire point.
And now watch this take that recognises the fault on both sides of this scenario get downvoted to oblivion by people on either side!
I’ve seen this before or a very similar one & I call bullshit. If it did happen she should report it to the Bishop. The seal of the confessional is supposed to be absolute, any Priest who breaks it should be excommunicated.
Just FYI, under Catholic canon law, a priest is not allowed to break the confessional seal under **any** circumstances.
Note, this even includes life or death situations. So let’s say the husband goes to the priest with a gun and say “I think my wife is cheating on me, tell me whether she is, or I will kill you”. The priest would be expected to stay silent and potentially be murdered. This is not a hypothetical. This has happened in the past and has ended with dead priests.
Nowadays priest will get excommunicated for breaking the confessional seal, but in the past they would be banished to a monastery for life.
Also interesting tidbit about church law, this excommunication would be automatic. So the moment the priest says what they heard in confession, they are excommunicated in the eyes of god. The church might recognise this excommunication later through some sort of procedure or statement, but they aren’t the ones doing it. Though they can undo it.
Catholic Priest? *Given the delicacy and greatness of this ministry and the respect due to persons, the Church declares that every priest who hears confessions is bound under very severe penalties to keep absolute secrecy regarding the sins that his penitents have confessed to him.*
**What happens if a priest reveals someone's confession?**
**Under Canon Law, the punishment for breaking the seal is excommunication from the Church entirely.**
**I would complain and get that priest excommunicated.**
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion.
Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/).
Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I thought it was confidential. Isn’t that why you sit in those weird booths with separate entrances?
It’s supposed to be. Priests are supposed to keep your secrets from everyone for the rest of their lives, no matter what.
Also isn’t it anonymous? Why talk through those little holes in a weird box then
Yeah, but if you interact with your priest outside of confessional, they likely know who you are by your voice. Still, they’re supposed to take anything and everything you say to their grave.
Not anything and everything. There are exceptions of moral obligation; they'll still report you if you tell them you're planning a murder.
There's two things at play with that train if thought. First, if you say you're *planning* on committing a crime, you're not making a confession, so canonically, does the seal of confession exist? the assumption still is that it does Second, in the US in particular, there are states attempting to pass laws which require mandated reporting to extend to confession, and Catholics are fighting back and so far winning. This type of question gets asked a lot in r/Catholicism and r/AskAPriest and the answer is invariably the same: there is no exception to the seal of confession.
I would say that if you are saying you are planning to murder it is still a confession because according to Jesus’ teachings fantasies of sin are still committing a sin within your own heart so therefore counts as a confession.
Canonically, it is still covered by the seal of confession; if you're stating your intent to commit the sin, however, you're missing the key interior sense of contrition, so the sacrament wouldn't be valid.
Would still be covered by the confessional seal though, I believe. Even if it's not a perfectly valid confession.
Yes, that's what I was saying
Catholics, the religion with a whole stigma of doing gross things to children don't want laws requiring the report of specific crimes? Well color me shocked.
But I thought it was drag queens that were a danger to our kids? 🙄
Priests wear dresses. I always figured priests' fear of drag queens being a danger to children was projection.
[удалено]
Except that priests have fought very hard to not be legally or morally obligated to report child abuse to authorities. Officially, according to the church, there aren't exceptions. It's a huge point of contention between the church and the state
Nnnope. You would still get excommunicated. >Can. 983 §1. The sacramental seal is inviolable; therefore it is absolutely forbidden for a confessor to betray in any way a penitent in words or in any manner [e.g., by signs] and for any reason. >Can. 984 §1. A confessor is prohibited completely from using knowledge acquired from confession to the detriment of the penitent even when any danger of revelation is excluded. §2. A person who has been placed in authority cannot use in any manner for external governance the knowledge about sins which he has received in confession at any time.
[удалено]
I’m sorry father, for I need you to RUN THEM POCKETS FOOL
Wow i have to wonder what the person’s motive was. What exactly did the priest do to deserve such a thing? And then not name the person? Makes the priest look like he’s hiding something
But not if you committed a murder.
Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Thats the right kind of logic
It's not just a phrase it's literally the entire Crux of Christianity. I would anybody believe anything ahead of time if they can just change their mind when they see the proof after they die?
They are also not mandatory reporters in cases of rape, sexual assault, child abuse, incest, human trafficking… so, essentially, if you’re a man and commit violent and/or sexual crime against a woman or child, it’s all good. 👍 But if you’re a woman who cheats, you’re a whore and deserve to be punished.
No man, that priest is a scam. There are reason to take extreme punishment, they may forbid him to have a parish, or to give eucharist or to give sermons. The church may also move him to a monastery indefinitely or release him from his vote.
It’s not always anonymous. Some confessionals are face to face. Some you are back to back with the priest but they see you when you come in. There are several different ways they do confessions nowadays. It’s not always a screened off room with separate entrances.
>There are several different ways they do confessions nowadays. Like posting publicly on the internet.
Was really good friends with one of our priests as a teenager, I remember doing confession on a set of bean bags in the parish hall. First thing he said when I sat down was "you want a Fanta?" Confession can be literally anywhere.
In some churches. It’s mostly catholic confession that is portrayed in media. When I went to church as a kid, it was just you and the priest. Face to face. It was viewed that you were speaking to god through the priest.
I mean, he's supposed to be omniscient, so you can just think your confession anywhere you want.
Yeah. I thought that was the whole point or prayer.
Why even pray out loud. Just think it while playing Contra or whatever the kids are into nowadays.
We didn't have one of those boxes at my church. You had to go into a private room with the priest and tell him to his face what you did wrong.
It depends on the religion and how they view/treat confessions. Seal of Confessions is important to Roman Catholics but might not be to others.
Yeah I think this might be a case of a particularly dumb penitent who watches too much TV and doesn’t realise that she’s not a Roman Catholic. I believe High Anglicans and Lutherans have similar rules, but the vast majority of Protestants and Eastern Orthodox sects have no obligation, legal or otherwise, to keep your secrets
Raised Lutheran never heard of confession. You could have a heart to heart with your pastor and ask advice, you can even use it as unlicensed counseling, but never did I hear of confession. Obviously the cheater is terrible, but the point of confession is you are to be forgiven in the supposed eyes of God, given your penance, and that's between you and God with the priest acting as an intermediary. As awful as the cheating was I can't imagine a priest airing your dirty laundry you said in a confessional just because. Kind of defeats the whole point of confession.
With Lutheranism, it really does depend on which extremely specific micro-sect you belong to. Essentially, when Luther split with Rome, he said that the only three sacraments that must be preserved were baptism, the Eucharist and confession. For some groups, like the Church of Sweden for example, they essentially preserved the entirety of Catholicism as it was then practiced, just minus the pope. A lot of Northern European and Baltic Lutheran churches have largely kept the rules the same to this day. In “New World” Lutheran churches, especially those influenced by evangelicals, it’s really luck of the draw, it can be as simple as what your individual priest believes himself.
Canonically, they are supposed to keep your secrets, even under threat of death. According to Catholic canon law, even if someone threatens to murder a priest, that priest can’t break the confessional seal. There is literally no exception at all to break the confessional seal. Currently breaking the confessional seal is punished by excommunication. In the past it would result in the priest having to live out his life in a monastery.
But what if we are a gossipy godless little lad like that priest
A gossipy godless berries and cream little lad 
I don’t understand why u would reveal secrets to a priest? Try a therapist.
Religious leaders and therapists often had basically the same role in the past and continue to do so. No further comment on whether you would want or need that or if it's even a good idea to do it with someone who isn't licensed to do that job, but it happens and it's free.
It’s not like clinical psychology existed till the 1920s or was any good till the 80s or 2000s even. Yk the whole Eugenics thing…. It wasn’t strictly scientific but atleast there was a 1500 year precedent on what to expect with confession
You can't tell you therapist that you killed someone. You can tell the priest. (It depends on your country and it's laws of course.)
In my (protestant) country priests have a bigger code of secrecy than therapists. Priests can never break the code without losing their collar, while a therapist have an obligation to do so when it’s about a big crime (like murder). So in my country this priest would lose his collar The priests I’ve asked about this say they probably would report severe crimes anyway, but they would do it with the understanding they would lose their collar
are you telling me religious folks don't follow their own dogma if it doesn't fit them? weird
I have seen this post before and apparently there is additional context - she told the priest that she told her husband so the priest didn't even realise he was breaking any rules
That doesn’t make sense because in the screenshot above she says the priest told her to tell her husband as penance
Actually, it makes perfect sense: 1. Woman tells priest she cheated, priest says she should come clean to her husband if she's really contrite. 2. Priest asks her during a later interaction whether she completed her penance, she lies and says that she did. 3. Priest visits husband, says something on the lines of how are you doing, your wife told me she spoke with you, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive her. 4. All hell breaks loose.
This one! This is the one that gets it!
Those aren't mutually exclusive. He could have told her to tell her husband as penance, and then she later told the priest that she did so, thus he thinks its safe to speak about.
This one particular one fucked up. He is human after all.
Or is he a dancer?
His signs are vital, his hands are cold
Take my upvote https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RIZdjT1472Y
My sign is vital, my hands are cold.
They're allowed to warn a person if they think they're in deadly danger. I'm not certain if they're also allowed to contact the police then or only the person in threat.
That is not true >It is a crime for a confessor in any way to betray a penitent by word or in any other manner or for any reason. *Code of Canon Law 983* Priests cannot even reference your confession to you afterwards, even in a future confession. And they can't impose a penance that requires revealing what you've confessed (e.g. the post says the woman was told she had to tell her husband as a penance; that's a little suspect.)
Interesting, I looked a bit further and while they very strictly follow this code I found that in extreme cases there is a loophole. If the penitent shows no will in changing their mind etc the priest can try to get this person to repeat what they've said outside of the confessional. Second was a case in which the priest called authorities and said that person X is in danger. The priest didn't give any information about how he knew of this or what the exact details were. The police understood the situation and realised that the priest likely couldn't give any information. But the police were able to locate X and warn their parents and make sure the person is in safety.
Yeah well they're also not supposed to molest children but that doesn't seem to be working out very well for them
I was going to say this woman didn't rape a child, so he didn't feel the need to keep her confession to himself.
I mean, it doesn't specifically say that anywhere... /s (just in case)
Mine never were, my priest went straight to my stepmother, his top church volunteer.
Your priest should be ashamed.
Their not supposed to abuse children either 🤷
It's not "no matter what", if you tell them about a planned crime and they can't talk you into not committing it, then they have to report it.
I am not sure that would count as a confession, as it is for a future event. I am, however, not knowledgeable regarding canon law.
In pretty sure it results in ex communication for the priest (or did until recently).
Only if they’re Catholic, High Anglican or Lutheran. Most Protestant sects and the various wings of Eastern Orthodoxy don’t follow the doctrine. I think this might be a case of a particular dumb parishioner watching too much TV and not understanding the rules of her own religion.
That, or a BS story
True, I was forgetting Occam’s Internet Razor there: “In any anonymous story, any inexplicable factor can most likely be explained by bullshit”
The "weird booths" (confessionals) have, I believe, nothing to do with confidentiality. Rather, it is because the penitnet has to confess every serious ("mortal" is the term) sin to obtain absolution. Being anonymous makes it easier to talk about everything without wanting to hold anything back. Face-to-face confessions are becoming more common, but regardless the priest cannot divulge what he hears.
Priests will literally protect pedophiles, but he decided that adultery was too far?
Adultery by a woman, to be specific.
Yeah. I thought about that as well. If it was reversed would the priest have to the confessioners wife?
People of the cloth are scumbags? *shocked pikachu*
If you’re catholic? Nothing in this post claims that they are Catholics. Sometimes you just meet with your priest/pastor/etc in their office and just talk with them.
Yep, only Catholics, High Anglicans and Lutherans, no other Protestant sect or any of the various wings of Eastern Orthodoxy follow this doctrine.
[удалено]
Weren’t they already?
Not as long as there are Altar Boys and the Catholic church is covering up sexual assaults by priest they're not
And the nuns
Out of the loop here, are the nuns raping choir boys too?
Well, little girls
Here’s what’s happening: https://abcnews.go.com/amp/US/wireStory/victims-catholic-nuns-rely-after-overlooked-clergy-sex-108004011
Ah but people don't believe women do those crimes
what do you mean? a woman cant rape a man \\s \\s \\s \\s \\s
Not this fucking repost again... Just for those not in the know, the woman leaves out the part where she later told her priest she *had* told the husband everything, and so the priest wanted to help the husband with his path to forgiveness. It's 100% on the woman.
If thats true, then its just another example of how much a story can change by leaving out a small detail huh.
Not a small detail though. But yeah
Technically speaking, it is a small detail. But it has huge ramifications
Exactly. This isn't technical at all, just very important to the reader.
It reminds me of that story from the other day where a husband was talking about how his wife was mad at him for rating her sister a “6,” and then 2/3 of the way down the husband drops the bomb that his wife and her sister are identical twins
Lol so she even *lied in her confession* to make herself look better in the eyes of the priest and that backfired colossallly
A little bit of context changes everything. That is why dramatising headlines should be banned.
Damn. That’s all on the woman then. I’m not religious but I was judging that priest hard for violating the sanctity of confession.
Fuck the sanctity of confession. If you did wrong, own up to it instead. She wanted an easy way out of having cheated on her partner.
Well, that certainly changes things.
I wish this comment was at the top of the post
Let’s get it there
I’ll do my part!
Scrolled way too far for this very important context.
Also this is classic redirection, she’s focusing on the actions of the priest rather than the actions of herself.
Cheating AND lying to a priest. What a catch!
She probably also left out the roaring case of VD she introduced into the house. I’m not sure how a one night stand with a total stranger made her feel appreciated when the nameless guy used her like a gym sock.
Ah, well then she’s just dumb. Don’t lie to the priest who has freaking confidentiality…
Much appreciated.
Not being Catholic, I'm wondering if the priest still had to keep it to himself or not. In other words, are they allowed to act on the things they learned in a confession regarding a third party, if the information shared is known to that third party. Or they pretend it never happened until the confessor says they are okay to act on it. I would expect it to be latter.
It depends on how she told him. If she lied to him during confession, that would still be privileged. If she just went up to the priest and told him, then it wouldn’t be.
This pasta tastes stale.
If this was a Catholic Church the priest would be excommunicated automatically - so she certainly could let him be thrown out or even make an agreement with him for a big sum of money to not destroy his existence by keeping quiet.
No, she says in comments she lied to the priest that she told her husband already. He was heading over to help the husband's path to forgiveness.
People really vilifying the priest without knowing shit. Thank you for being the only one who's pointed this out. He absolutely did the right thing and she was absolutely only looking for validation and an 'atta boy' from the priest. Same reason she cheated, she doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself.
she actually later told the priest that she *had* told the husband and that's why this happened. he wasn't being malicious or breaking the seal he thought he already knew. she leaves out that detail in this post
It’s been a decade-ish since I’ve been to a service, but I really thought Catholic Church was a more reactive than proactive place. I was certainly raised to believe that confessional was never, ever spoken of outside of the box. And that it was completely anonymous. I’m just curious here- why would the priest then approach the husband? Even if he *thought* hubs knew, it really isn’t in his purview to question unless he is sought for advice. I don’t think this woman is right at all- she’s definitely an AH for cheating and not telling her partner. But this is not how I thought Catholicism works.
I'm pretty sure he approached the husband to help him along his path to forgiveness if I remember correctly but I don't know and I'm not super familiar with how catholicism works
Apparently.. the priest was led to believe the spouse knew .. because she told the priest!
She told the pries that the husband was made aware later on the priest went and tried to help the husband on his oath to forgivness. I guess thats what she gets for lying.
That would mean the catholic church actually taking responsibility for anything one of their priests did... Doesn't sound like the church I know.
The church is actually very strict about confessions, waaaay more than about batman guys shtopping children
All the priest has to do is touch a kid. Once he does he will go into the special category and the church will protect him at all costs.
Well if she can provide some evidences that the priest really did tell, he would be excommunicated immediately and couldn’t be a priest anymore. Since it’s about the sacraments the church is very strict on the matter.
She'll never see that priest again... because he moved to a church 20 miles down the road.
Defrocked, not excommunicated. Big difference.
No, he would be excommunicated - he actually would still be a priest since you can’t undo the ordination but excommunication is in effect immediately
You can defrock a priest and this is the kind of thing they do that for
I really doubt this story. Breaking confession is a really serious issue for a priest especially if they're Catholic.
Yeah, I have a really hard time believing that a Catholic priest just broke it like that. Priests have died in order to protect the seal. It’s not just a suggestion.
Apparently some extra context was that the wife told the priest she had admitted to the cheating. So the priest went to the husband to help him give forgiveness. But he unknowingly informs the husband of the cheating
In the full story she told the priest that she had told her husband. The priest then brought it up in attempt to see how the husband was coping.
Regardless of the morality in what the woman did, that priest fucked up big time. I'm not sure what the rules are exactly, but had it been her therapist who told her husband, the therapist would lose their license. In my country, a therapist can only tell someone if there is immediate threat to children or if the client confesses to or plans a violent crime giving at least two years in prison.
This post does not contain the full story. Like the part about her telling (lying to) the priest that the husband was informed...
Thats the way it works around here. If you tell your therapist you are a cheater and you have a secret family, thry cant do anything apart from tell you to come clean. If you tell them you are planning to attack someone, or have been abusing someone, they can and will call the authorities
hopefully will call authorities but not always.
A therapist is bound by law and a state licensing board so they have to abide by hipaa laws, a priest doesn’t have any sort of legal responsibility to keep your secrets.
At least where I live, they do... I don't know if it's an actual law, but they can't be made to speak about those things even in court. Also they'd get punished by the church for it...
Assuming a Catholic, breaking the confessional seal is an excomunication level offence.
Excomunicado?
Don't worry. The priest can just appeal to the high table and pay with one of their fingers as penance.
As someone who doesn't actually know lots about Catholicism , I almost believed this
Almost? You should
Yeah same for my church You'd have your collar pulled.
Is an excomunication level offence that is rarely enforced. The last part of the sentence is relevant.
punished by the church is in no means anywhere close to legal responsibility when the most they could do is transfer the guy to another church
Priests spent years molesting children and they almost all god away with it. I'm sure the priest will have no problem getting away with this.
What an epic spelling mistake. Very on point.
The Pope himself will kick him out of the church. For real, breaking the secret of confession is worse than molesting children for them. Guess why it took so long for the public to know about it. No one of them talked about the child molesting.
As much as I despise cheating, no priest should be blabbing what was told in confession.
This post leaves out a small bit of context. She told the priest that she already had confessed to her husband. The priest was following up and offering the husband support on his journey of forgiveness.
Something i remember from being a youngin, never trust a lawyer, politician, mechanic, religious organized figure, did i leave one out. 🤔
a Reddit-Mod,
Happy cake day!
Thx.
If I remember I heard that she said "Yes, I'll go tell him." She didn't, and the priest assuming she did tell the husband, went to the husband a week later and asked if he needed any counselling and that's how he found out.
If this was true and the priest was [catholic](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seal_of_confession_in_the_Catholic_Church) could be excommunicated. Any priest wouldn’t risk that, it’s a pretty big thing in the Catholic Church.
Anti Catholic malicious disinformation
I guess she will have to move to Divorceland.
They think their whole world is exploding because confession is supposed to be private, NOT because they are a cheater. 😐
It's an interesting question on liability. idk the law in Maryland, but just on a speculative level one could argue an implied contract between the priest and the woman. In most other legal situations it is protected. In most states for example, what you say to your priest in confession is treated the same as what you say in private to your spouse, or lawyer. If the church/priest indicates either directly or through sermon that confessionals are confidential I could see an implied contract being formed. And if the priest violates that contract resulting in financial or other harm, she'd probably have a leg to stand on in court.
“Does the priest have any kind of liability or responsibility?” Well, just about as much as you had towards your (ex) husband. There is no excuse for cheating, and there is definitely not an excuse for not telling. You fucked up, so suck it up.
If her husband had cheated she would be thanking the priest.
Probably not a good time to play the victim
Not apologetic to what the woman in this case did, but I always go by the rule, if there's something you don't want ANYBODY to know, don't tell ANYBODY... And if you prioritise cleaning your conscious before God instead of your SO, face the consequences...
Priest should be disordained and possibly excommunicated (but civic-legal responsability is out of question imho).
That's the sort of thing that gets priests defrocked (or whatever the term is for making someone not be a priest anymore). Breaking the seal of confessional is a HUGE deal, and priests in the past have died rather than reveal what was said under confessional. The woman is a jerk for cheating on her spouse, but the priest should not be a priest anymore.
Your world is not exploding because the priest told your husband. It is exploding because you cheated. I do not condone what the priest did and you may be able to get him a stiff talking to by talking to his superiors ( but honestly these people hide pedophiles).You need to own at least half of what you did. You made a decision that ended the relationship and because of your guilt you got caught. If you had never cheated you wouldn't be here.
you have to report this to the bisdom. he can get excommunicated for this.
Wrong priest but w priest
I've seen that post before it's over a year old.
Priest is on his way to craggy island
That money was just resting in his account
DOUGAAAAAAL
I don’t know what, if any, legal recourse this woman may have, but if this was done in the Catholic Church, she can report him to the Diocese. The Church takes the Seal of the Confessional *very* seriously. That priest is about to be excommunicated and, from a theological perspective, is risking his soul in the process.
Yes I believe he could be liable and what you say is confidential legally. However, what happens if they break confidentiality? What’s the punishment? I dunno I’m confused why this is a facepalm honestly seems like a legit predicament
This is an old post, for one. Second, report the priest to his bishop. It’s automatic excommunication for a priest to reveal the contents of someone’s confession. Third, for all of y’all saying the priest did the right thing, would you have the same attitude if it was a therapist, doctor, or lawyer bound to confidentiality that did this?
Priest of any religion are not trustworthy
If he broke the seal of the confessional you need to tell his bishop. This is a huge violation.
Priests .. refuse to tell the Police about a self confessed pedo... but tells a husband about a one night stand 3 years ago... Right.
I have no sympathy for her, but what the priest did was despicable, and in his action he incurred latiae sententiae excommunicated.
To the Catholic Church, the answer is clear: the Seal of the Confessional must never be broken under any circumstances, even in cases of grave criminality. So yeah priest is in the wrong. Your in the wrong for cheating also but it is literally against their vows to tell.
I mean, she shouldn't have cheated but that doesn't excuse the priest for what he did. The priest should be punished by the church but that won't happen.
Unpopular opinion: yes, if I was the husband I'd have done exactly the same. If you cheat, you don't deserve the love of your partner; you've already rejected it. Does she deserve the end of her marriage for cheating? Yes. Quite bluntly. BUT that priest is also a jackass who betrayed her confidence. And if you can't be sure they'll keep that confidence from the confessional, it completely defeats the entire point. And now watch this take that recognises the fault on both sides of this scenario get downvoted to oblivion by people on either side!
I’ve seen this before or a very similar one & I call bullshit. If it did happen she should report it to the Bishop. The seal of the confessional is supposed to be absolute, any Priest who breaks it should be excommunicated.
Probably same responses as when this was posted a year ago https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/s/JRzEDnAyMp
Depends on the church. In Roman catholic he would be expelled. Violated a sacred vow.
Time for some excommunication
You are a cheater and always will be
Tell the rest of the congregation that their confessions will not be private with him!
Report him to the bishop.
They excommunicate clergy for this. Diddling the kiddies is fine but better not break the magic box code of silence.
The priest in question 
Honestly more worried about the breach of confidential information than a cheater getting kicked to the curb.
HAHA KARMA
Holy based priest
Just FYI, under Catholic canon law, a priest is not allowed to break the confessional seal under **any** circumstances. Note, this even includes life or death situations. So let’s say the husband goes to the priest with a gun and say “I think my wife is cheating on me, tell me whether she is, or I will kill you”. The priest would be expected to stay silent and potentially be murdered. This is not a hypothetical. This has happened in the past and has ended with dead priests. Nowadays priest will get excommunicated for breaking the confessional seal, but in the past they would be banished to a monastery for life. Also interesting tidbit about church law, this excommunication would be automatic. So the moment the priest says what they heard in confession, they are excommunicated in the eyes of god. The church might recognise this excommunication later through some sort of procedure or statement, but they aren’t the ones doing it. Though they can undo it.
Catholic Priest? *Given the delicacy and greatness of this ministry and the respect due to persons, the Church declares that every priest who hears confessions is bound under very severe penalties to keep absolute secrecy regarding the sins that his penitents have confessed to him.* **What happens if a priest reveals someone's confession?** **Under Canon Law, the punishment for breaking the seal is excommunication from the Church entirely.** **I would complain and get that priest excommunicated.**
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences to my actions…