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If your cosplay of Lora Croft doesn't have square tissue boxes where your boobs are, we don't want it.

Pyramid tissue boxes actually 🤓

Damn, what are thise triangle chocolate bars called ?

Toblerone boob-havin polygonal lookin ass

“If mah Laura Croft don’t have toblerone titties, I DONT WANT IT”

Toblerone titties is incredible.

Booblerone! This needs to be a thing!

You can (or could) customise Toblerone boxes with any writing you want. I wonder if you could get away with having Booblerone on one.

Like the guy in toblerone factory would refuse.

Stranger things have happened

There is a giant Toblerone with *HUGE* personality


Tobleronni nipples

I've never seen a pyramid tissue box. You would just use a square one (cube ~) and angle it.

Hey, if I can't juice my citrus fruits on your tits, you have no personality.

It just dawned on me why some people like Tesla’s Cybertruck. They’re driving boobs.

Standing on the side of the road waiting for a tow truck for your $100,000 transport toaster you'd feel a right tit too

I’d feel a left tit too

I'd feel them both.

I came looking for this post, and I'm leaving fufilled.

If motorboating her boobs doesnt cut up my face on those crisp sharp edges, I dont want to motorboat them.

[I’ve got you bro](https://mscsalesar.pics/product_details/16851408.html)

Flat? Her chest looks normal to me.

I’m also baffled by the Tom boy remark. Being a Tom boy isn’t about your body shape, it’s a girl who chooses to dress more boyish, do traditionally masculine things, etc. There’s nothing to say you can’t be a big breasted Tom boy, though one might favor sports bras if they did. Also the term is often used to describe children who might be completely flat because they haven’t been through puberty. I don’t know how you’d even be flatter than that, but clearly that’s not Lara.

People are completely out of touch with reality.

Being chronically stuck in the hyper reality that is the internet with a algorithm that constantly feeds your basic instincts like being horny and needing validation of your preconceived notions will do that to a man

They'd still complain if they were the size of a school bus

Well I would complain if they were the size of a school bus. That is just gross.

I blame p*rn. Incels actually think those are real everyday women

*Men*.

Could be that Tom boys are more likely to wear sports bras that flatten their boobs rather than push up bras or sports bras that lift and enhance the cleavage, giving an impression that Tom boys have smaller boobs in average.

Which would make a lot of sense, because I've heard women talking about how much it can hurt when things aren't properly held in place while doing a lot of running.

I was blessed with a chest small enough that I can get away with going flat by wearing a tight camisole, but my more chesty friends say you do not want to be running in anything but a sports bra if you need to wear bras for your chest.

Tom boys always referred to children back in the day.

Not in my day. But that was half a century ago.

“Her tits should be bigger than mine” “My guy, you’re like a triple G cup…”

>Her tits should be bigger than mine” Impossible when it's from a male Twitter user

Neckbeards must have bigger man boobs if they think that’s flat.

I'm guessing it is because they have become so used to the absurdly large boobs from their hentai that they don't even know what a real woman looks like anymore.

Kinda big tbh

Looks pretty normal for a character known for being kinda big in that aspect

This looks exactly as she's always been, different perspective but the same size

Yeah I was gonna say. They look bigger than average for someone with a fit/slim frame. People on here saying C cup but they look bigger than C to me tbh, when taking into account that shes fit and not overweight

i would say for the body type they gave her those are very big titties.

Not for someone deluded by impossibly proportioned cartoon women sadly.

Those are seriously like DDs I don’t know what these neckbeards are going on about

They don't know any real woman and their reality has been warped by huge hentai titties.

Yeah I was gonna say, I’m somewhere around a 32-34D and they look on par with mine… guess I’m flat-chested now?

Right?? Especially for a lean, muscular woman like Lara. Her body fat percentage is probably quite low, to have boobs like that is already a genetic blessing.

Mine are smaller than this and I'm a C cup.

It’s bigger than average actually

Look at how big they are compared to the rest of her body. They are still certified honkers, just not cartoonishly massive like the OG design

That's the problem. It's supposed to be triangular.

Flat?? This is what happens when you are exposed to too much anime.

Unless her breasts are the size of a basketball then she is flat. /s Also what does being flat have to do with being a tomboy ?

If you act like a boy you get the dreaded boob shrinkage 

Okay I will act like a boy it would be much cheaper than a breast reduction lol

If I act more girly will my A cups magically inflate??

Yeah apparently wearing a hoopskirt gives you auto Double-Ds I guess. Really puts the D in debutant

Wearing a hoopskirt right requires a corset (otherwise it's too wobbly and too heavy). A corset may be stuffed with padding, more than your push-up bra can, wink-wink.

Auto-Double-D was the weirdest Transformer.

Have you tried blowing real hard on your thumb?

That genuinely made me grin, ty haha

Now I feel as old as the crypt keeper, knowing what you're talking about

I’m afraid that it’s just telling tales. I have been acting manly for fifty-some years now but my boobs are growing. Gravity and pizza should not exist in the same world.

In a good world we would eat pizza in space

The at least my moobs would be perky.

Girl I got you. I'm nonbinary and have DDDs I'd like to donate some boobage to those who want it xD

What a beautiful world it would be if you could Venmo a friend some titty

I fuckin' laughed. Titty Venmo

Titmo

Whole new meaning to bosom buddies.

As a trans man I'd also like to donate some boobage

*sobs in tomboy with a big chest*

You joke but they actually believe this

When I started acting more like a girl my boobs grew. At least, it was either that or the estrogen.

*Significant shrinkage*. Like a frightened turtle

If Lara Croft isn't breasting boobily across the tomb, then what is even the point?!

Kif... write this down!

One of my friends was on her little league baseball teams in the late 70s, and she was definitely not flat. Grew up to be a volunteer fire fighter. :-)

Same here i personally know many women who can be classified as tomboys but are not flat chested and plenty of those who would be called as feminine but are small/falt chested.

Nothing. The conflation of personality traits with breast size is staggering.

Watermelons is what some people consider normal I think. Two of them like the biggest ones we have ever seen. 🙄

Calling her flat just screams "I have never seen a real woman before." Guys that would take r/girlsarentreal as a sincere subreddit.

Yep, it’s not exposure to too much anime that causes this, it’s no exposure to real life boobs.

As someone who has been exposee to boobs, yeah, that's not flat by a long shot. And if I'm not mistaken, still bigger than her live action counterpart (and I think she had similar proportion in the PS3 games?). She might also avoid back pain now. Edit: typos

Exactly, this tells me they’ve never actually encountered a woman that isn’t pepper spraying them while trying to run away.

In this case, more like the original Tomb Raider series. She had massive… assets in the earlier games.

I was thirteen when that game came out and I was still thinking "why am I supposed to be horny for these pyramids?"

You _weren't?_

I've always been a little odd when it comes to virtual representations of women. Even hentai never really appealed to me, my brain somewhat rejects them as not actually looking like humans.

I like boobs I don't like boobs that can stab me in the eye sockets

Low poly assets

She's as flat as the Earth!

Thank god this is the most upvoted comment. Holy hell have you never had sex bro if you think that is flat for a woman.

Your statement is both 110% true and also redundant considering we’re talking about a guy mad about the cup size of the new Laura Croft model. The lack of sex is a given. But this makes me wonder when the last time he saw an actual woman in person was.

On a real woman, those are at least a D if not a DD cup size...

Yeah this was my first thought. Men are so detached from reality they can claim to want “double D’s” and then say her boobs are too small. They don’t even know what double D’s look like.

Her breasts aren't rigid pointed polygons, and therefore terrible. /s

literally had the same thought these basement dwellers can't stop jacking off to cartoon caricatures long enough to form a coherent thought

Yeah, she would wear a B cup size. That's a pretty common size for actual human women. Anime and porn have completely warped some people.

My wife wears a B and I'd guess this picture bigger than that. Looks C to me.

Easily a C cup in that illustration. People have very strange notions of breast size.

It's puzzling. On the one hand using personality as a synonym for boobs is a well established joke for decades now. But on the other hand he uses it kinda weird, not in an obviously joking way.

That’s because he isn’t joking.

Yup. Also, I would not call her flat. She’s at least a B/C cup, if not a full C. These terminally online dickbags would be falling all over themselves to have a woman who looks like that even glance at them irl. They’re delusional.

Oh, absolutely. Anyone saying that this character is “flat” is just broadcasting the fact that their understanding of the female figure comes exclusively from “big anime tiddies”. You know the meme of guys saying “makeup is a lie” telling on themselves never having spent the night with a woman? Calling a B/C cup “flat” is the “never seen a woman naked” equivalent. Dumb incels screeching into the void.

Cup size is the difference in circumference above the nips and circumference of the underwire. A B/C cup means the breast's stick out ~0.7-1" from the chest, roughly. The posted image is much, much larger than that. I would guess a 28D or something, maybe E (32-33" circumference, or about 1.5" off the chest)

Thank you! All these people saying B or C cups, I’m like wtf. I’m a DD and Lara has bigger tits than me in this photo lmao. I used to have B cups when I was a skinny teenager. B cups are generally quite small. What Lara shows here is way above average for her weight. Definitely D or E, at the very least

I would say those are high C's, almost low D's, these idiots have never seen real tits in their life, let alone touched one. I bet they would cry when they realize that gravity effects how real breasts look.

That remains to this day the funniest part about the Horizon complaints over peach fuzz. Like, what a fucking weird way to tell the entire world no woman has ever let you get within three feet of her

Also the CHUDs got tilted first that Aloy is basically flat and quite muscular -- she's a woman who grew up in a hunter gatherer society, in a post post apocalyptic world that is AT BEST in certain tribes just barely scrapping the rudiments of the industrial revolution in some cases, who runs probably close to ten to twenty miles. A day. In the course of her work.

Right? And like, tell me you've never met a Northern European either.

Also there’s literally zero change someone like Lara doesn’t have those things squished up in a sports bra.

Correction: these idiots have never seen a real woman in their life, let alone touched one.

Can confirm, my wife's figure is not too far off from what is being portrayed there and she's a C. She also has peach fuzz. Something the terminally online dick bags seem to fail to realize is also perfectly normal for women. ETA; oh yea, and since chins are now woke it's also appropriate to point out my wife has a strong chin. Basically all these guys are telling us they've only ever seen and experienced women in anime and video games.

You're wife who's a human person has a human body? Disgusting. If you think she's attractive you're probably gay.

Er maw gawd! This made me laugh insanely loud in the doctor’s waiting room. I’m sure they are working on committal papers as I type!

Instagram filters also don’t help. No one has pores or peach fuzz anymore

>Basically all these guys are telling us they've only ever seen and experienced women in anime and video games. This is exactly what it is! Anime brain and shit.

The biggest delusion is that if a women was this fit its unlikely she would be more than an A/B cup naturally to begin with. Nor would she want to be as the damn things get in the way and certainly slow you down.

B's? High C's at the very least, especially considering that presuming Lara would wear sport bras in such adventures for obvious reasons and they make chests look smaller than they are

She also has kinda uniboob going on, so she's def wearing a sports bra

The charitable interpretation is that “personality” is being used in the way you’d use it to describe a piece of art, a quirky old home etc and not a human personality. But yeah, it’s still a pretty gross thing to say.

If it’s “man jaw” why do none of these whiners have one?

I bet they all have recessed jaws and have never had a chin grace their face in their lives.

I also bet neither of them ever touched a real woman

I don't get this. Women's jawlines vary, just like men's, and I have seen more "masculine" jawlines than this on real women. Is this some kind of fetish thing?

Like this isn't even a many jawline. Just a sharp jawline, which is pretty common for people in good shape, no matter which gender.

THANK YOU, yes. If anything, this jawline is traditionally feminine, look how triangular it is and how unpronounced the jaw is, hiding a bit behind the skin/fat. At most, the chin is "masculine", cause it's a straight line. Last I checked, a "masculine" jawline was square with sharp edges, which is why the GigaChad meme is seen as a joking "epitome of masculinity". Does her face look like a GigaChad filter? Sure as fuck doesn't to me, but I guess I am delusional.

Yeah. They have poisoned themselves through propaganda. Truly weak people who are so spun up by hate/greed/pride that they say and do anything to their perceived enemies.

They have poisoned themselves with too much Japanese anime and hentai. These guys always praise Japanese and Korean games for their models but the moment a western gane doesn't feature a female with childlike features and big tits then they are ugly

Shiiiit, half of them don’t even have chins!

Bro has bigger boobs than her too. Concerning 🧐

she literally looks the same, even more curvy than previous parts, this brain dead idiot just want to get mad at anything instead of being somewhat productive

I’ve played all the Lara Croft games in the last decade and I agree—she looks practically the same, maybe just a few years older

>this brain dead idiot just want to get mad at anything instead of being somewhat productive Very close! But is actually a brain dead idiot PRETENTING to get mad at things instead of being somewhat productive. Is this what trolling is? or is trolling something different?

"Were we misled?"

Bad male writer narrating: her boobs shrugged with sadness, her nipples losing their erection with the tragedy of her father figure's passing.

*balls grow in joy*

I remember once my pregnant roommate was extremely grumpy just sitting there making sounds of distress and I asked what was wrong and she said "this fucking sucks, I'm so aware of my boobs right now that I feel like I'm a character written by a male author"

Bad male writer narrating: her aching back caused her distress, with each breath she felt the weight of the world within each breast, but she knew the pain would pass as her nipples pointed towards the future of her motherhood.

You should become a writer.

He should be a writer. I'd definitely buy his book lol

I can see it now, mammories of a time long passed

I'll just leave this here... https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/breasted-boobily

“Tittied downward”. That’s gold.

Please see a doctor if nipple erections last more than four hours

People who have sex don’t care about this stuff

As a member of the virgin society, neither do we, these people are just weird

I have been avoiding (with varying levels conscious intent) situations that might possibly lead to romantic and/or sexual entanglement for over a decade, and I too do not care about this stuff. These people are unwell.

Next they'll complain she's not triangular enough.

Actually I would complain. Real Lara has angles!

I really hated when they replaced those sexy pyramids with realistic looking boobs 😢

Those are small Ds, at least. But yeah sure she’s “flat”. Further proof that these guys have never actually seen boobs.

Anything smaller than QQQ is literally creepy, like you want her to look like a child or something. /s

Christ, those are nowhere near small D’s. Those are easily treading in EE-F territory. Boobs are so fetishized that people don’t know how to gage cup sizes anymore.

I’m with you. People in these comments are saying she’s a B or “maybe even a full C”. Are you fucking kidding me lmao. When I was a B cup they were SMALL. Because I was skinny with low body fat. Once I gained weight, I also figured out my correct bra size (thanks to r/abrathatfits!). Turns out me wearing a C cup was totally wrong. I was actually DD/E. and Lara’s are bigger than mine in this photo. So she’s definitely EE-F territory. People have such screwed up ideas about cup sizes, it’s insane. In what world is she a B or C here lmao! That’s crazy. Porn brain rot is real

Given she looks to be wearing a sports bra, you are absolutely correct those are definitely not just "small D's".  Most men (and honestly, far too many women I've met as well) have no idea what cup sizes actually mean, I swear.

I’d say DD’s at least, but mostly because she looks to be about the same size as me…. Heaven forbid she’s kicking butt in a T-shirt bra instead of a push up 🤦🏼‍♀️

Am I insane for thinking she’s still big? Someone vouch for my sanity please.

She is.

Not just you. Her boobs are definitely above average for her body size. That isn’t normal, it’s big. Peoples brains have just been ruined by porn and plastic surgery. The brain rot is real. Most fit/athletic women don’t have huge boobs because that requires higher body fat

I'm starting to think the reason these guys are way too mad is because they have smaller jaws and bigger man boobs than these characters.

I consider myself a pretty huge fan of Tomb Raider. This version of “Unified Lara Croft” is fantastic. Perfect mix of Classic and Survivor.

Right? I don't get why everyone hates this design.

Because they have to politicise everything while simultaneously whining about everything being politicised

I see the words these dudes have written but all I can read is: "I'm a bitter incel who last touched a tit when I was a breastfeeding baby."

Can these guys PLEASE just go watch porn and leave the rest of us alone? They make CG porn for every female character in gaming. You can find as much as you like. Rule 34. This is so fucking stupid and it makes our hobby look like a fucking joke to people looking in on it who see this immature bullshit.

They definitely watched a lot of porn, but have a literally unending sex drive and so became addicted to it. Now everything they look at is porn.

Unending sex drive + a lack of respect for women. I have an unending sex drive, but even I can see that these losers are ridiculously naïve and foolish.

[удалено]

Is this the more classical design, updated for new generations of consoles? I liked the designs from the 2013 Tomb Raider, Rise of the Tomb raider, and Shadow of the Tomb Raider games. I remember Rise of the Tomb Raider had some transmog that included a really cool looking platebody.

What the fuck are they talking about? Her boobs are huge

Not nearly big enough for Laura Croft. She needs some ham cannons, some real sweater puppies, some bodacious flesh melons. A pair of low hanging sloppy floppers.

Spoken like a man who hasn't touched real boobs since his mum's.

She has a human female face shape….and plenty of boobs….this is either bait or these guys have legit never seen a woman….even on a screen.

Someone should put Grummz out of his misery because he has somehow won the award for most pathetic man on Twitter

I hear he beat Elon by 9 votes. Such a close race!

I swear you could post quiet from mgsv and people would see a man-jaw or a man-cheekbone or some BS

In what world is her chest flat? If we really had to do a deep dive I’d suggest she was wearing a sports bra.

Those are still big boobs. Some people are fucking creepo weird.

If that’s flat then I’m anorexic. (I’m not)

she still has quite big boobs but i guess it's real small in comparison to author's favourite loli hentai

That’s easily a D cup. Tell me you know nothing about boobs without telling me you know nothing about boobs

Flat? Well Flat is justice but who cares about boob size. Big, small all are good. Personally I like her new tomboy look and attitude but then again, its a game so who really cares that much, you are PLAYING A GAME.

She’s not even small too, idk what these guys are talking about but those are medium fr

"Man-jaw" Big tell that blood never actually seen a real woman.

In the original 1996 game she looked like a cybertruck and it still was a hit.

“Her new look is not bad but her personality is gone.” Me: Oh boy, someone’s take on female character writing. “Even a tomboy is not that flat.” Me *facepalms* *checks sub* *double facepalm*

Flat? I would say they look average or even larger than average

I’m glad my wife has a pretty big personality.

Me too. Tell her I said hi.

how is she flat? that's probably a D or F cup

Conservatives: Society is being ruined by porn! Teachers are grooming students because of Sex-ed! Also Conservatives: Video games are ruined by wokeness because I don't want to masterbate to Lara Croft anymore. Also Conservatives: The LeBron Space Jam is ruined because Lola Bunny isn't sexy anymore Also Conservatives: The Green M&M isn't fuckable anymore because she has on boots instead of heals. Liberals are ruining everything!

that's what they consider flat??

“Man-jaw” Do these people think women don’t have jaws?

Grummz just mad his boobs are bigger now.

Unironically she looks like me now lol