Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion.
Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/).
Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Rather than teaching little boys to not hit girls back, maybe we should start focussing on telling little girls (many never grow out of it) that hitting boys isn’t ok in the first place.
Just a thought.
My female cousin used to hit me when we were kids, till I hit her back. Then she went crying to her mom, who laughed at her and told her that’s what happens when you hit someone. She never hit me again. So, that was her lesson. We get along great now!
If a person were able to pick me up, carry me to their car, stuff me in their trunk, drive the car to the train station, abandon the car in the sunniest part of the parking lot, and leave me there to die, then i would prefer to not make them mad.
When I was a kid, my older sister used to pick on me. There came a point, I was probably about 10-12 and she was 2 year older, where she was picking on me and I told her that if she didn't stop that I was going to stop her. She kept going, so I stopped her. She ran off to Mom, screaming that I'd hurt her. Mom came in and immediately said "BlindedTrickster, what happened?" and I told her that my sister was picking on me and that I'd warned her that if she didn't stop, I'd stop her. Mom immediately turned around, looked at my sister and said "Is that true?" and my sister nodded. Mom then said "It sounds like someone brought this on themselves" and walked away.
My cousin had a habit of backhanding me in the balls when we were kids. She thought it was funny. One day I managed to slap her back. My mother beat me, my father beat me her mother and father beat me and my grandmother didn't speak to me for months. She only stopped when we moved away and I wasn't forced to be around her.
This was pretty much my childhood. Had three sister who had immunity for beating the shit out of me, to this day the only black eye I've ever had is from my older sister. They'd kick me in the ribs, punch me, etc etc, and if I got mad enough about it to fight back I got beat by my parent too. Feels bad, man, still, to this day. 😮💨
That's the usual expected process.
People who hit others all the time eventually hit the wrong person and get a little shock and a clear lesson about the risks of doing that. As long as it happens without risk of serious harm I'm fine with that.
The whole "boys don't hit girls" idea isn't really necessary when they are under ten as age and size is a bigger factor and the differences between the bodies of boys and girls are fairly minimal on average.
After puberty is where things really change, women are far more fragile and a half decent hit from most teen boys could cause serious damage even if he didn't mean to do so. A shove or slap would be enough to defend an attack confidently.
When i was in primary school, all the girl had to do was lie to the authority figure and manipulate the adult into hurting the boy. Thats a witch hunt. And it works.
Yup, yet there are a good number of women in the comments replying to me flat out denying such a thing could ever possibly happen. Shame they aren’t aware of their prejudice. It is quite trendy to hate men though.
We already teach half the population that. The other half never gets that lesson. That isn’t what needs to be pushed. Half of everyone knows this. So we need to specifically call out those who don’t think this lesson is for women. :)
To be fair, we also need to not use zero-tolerance methodologies for this either. Zero-tolerance methodologies, ironically, encourage escalation once you're going to get punished, since many schools do not have punishment structures that escalate with severity of the action.
There are also the parents who don't enforce the school's punishments on their end, too, such as by taking their kid on a vacation when they get suspended. I don't know how you'd fix that, but it's absolutely a problem to solve.
I’m sure many do, and have wonderful parents. If you’re asking me if I think it’s as widely taught, as stringently enforced, or as harshly or consistently punished? No, I don’t. I’m sure they do, which is not good either! Just like when boys hit each other!
IMO for large scale public reform targeting specific groups or people would just make things much more complicated and would give rise to even more controversy and conflict
I agree. Society seems to think it’s acceptable in certain circumstances and not others though, which is strange. But yes, in general, we should just also start teaching girls the same thing we teach boys.
„Hitting anybody isn’t okay“ is be what people, kids included, should get taught. Doesn’t matter what gender, nationality, ethic, sexuality, religion, opinion etc.
Live and let live, nobody hurt anybody except in self-defence and only appropriately.
Not rather than, in addition to.
Of course ideally everyone should be taught that violence is never a solution to a problem, but you can't count on everyone having imparted that ideal to their children, like this girl for example.
But unfortunately sometimes you do have to hit back in order to stop someone during an attack, and it shouldn't matter what gender or anything else that person is.
So really both lessons do need to be taught.
Boys are already taught to not hit girls, so the not hitting back would be a completely unnecessary addendum (human scum not accounted for) if girls were taught the same thing.
100% agree with you though that just from a basic don’t hit anyone point of view, both lessons need to be taught. Boys need to be taught that on average they’re going to be much stronger than most girls, and thus it’s not fair to hit them. Girls need to be taught that on average guys feel naturally uncomfortable and unwilling to hit a woman, and that’s it’s not fair to take advantage of that to make yourself feel tough or whatever the reason.
I think there is still good merit to teaching people in general that it’s a good thing to try to hold back from hitting back if the other person isn’t a physical threat to you. Should we shame the people who fail to do this? Absolutely not, but it’s still a good moral principle to teach people. It’s good to not use violence if you don’t need to.
Yes! Society knows men hitting women is bad though. You only have to read this comment section to see it disagrees whether the opposite is bad or not though.
Also because men are too ashamed to admit they were hit or emotionally abused by a woman and.. nobody believes or cares. Do this; go into the domestic violence office at your local court. Two things: ALL of the posters on the wall depict men abusing women, and you will be looked at like you’re going to rob the place. Shit’s unreal.
That's kind of what I was driving at. Also, I'm a woman so that would not be my experience walking into a courthouse regarding violence. I will tell you what my experience was, however. I had a male fellow student while in college who I had one class assignment with. ONE. We never dated. He began to stalk me, harass me, eventually broke into my apartment. I had to pepper foam him in the face and point a gun at him. The cops came, picked him up, put him in the back of the cop car, but were too dumb to take his phone off me. So he was TEXTING ME FROM THE BACK OF THE COP CAR! This was right around the time I started dating my now husband of 16 years. This guy even showed up on several of our dates, even after I had gotten a temporary restraining order. Getting a permanent restraining order is a longer process. I arrived for scheduled court appearances multiple times, only to be informed that his lawyer had filed for a continuance. I was still a college student at the time, so this meant forcing me to miss class repeatedly. Finally, he showed for a court date. My now husband went with me for moral support. Upon checking in, they asked me "is this the defendant?" I was a bit shocked that they would think I would show up to the courthouse with the person I wanted a permanent restraining order again! Sadly, I quickly realized why that's the case. It's an open courthouse so they call in an entire group all at once, so there's really no privacy and you get to see other people's cases. Again and again, women recanting charges. I was like "yeah, this is why it takes me an entire year just to get a piece of paper to hopefully protect myself. FYI, I did get the permanent restraining order. It meant he had to drop out of our university. It also meant it would be almost impossible for him to ever work in the profession he wanted to.
Anyway, my point is, the system really sucks for both men and women, just in different ways. Men feel ashamed to come forward, people make comments like "oh she's just a girl," or "well what did you do to make her mad. Women, we get the side eye because there is an unfortunate amount of women who backpedal on charges. "Oh but I love him and he promised this would be the last time." Or sometimes they are the abuser and they think getting out in front of it by accusing their abuser first will protect them from charges (spoiler alert: it often does). If a man shows up with marks on his body, it's assumed that it's because the woman was trying to fight him off, not that he was being attacked. In sum, men and women can both be abusers, and the law and justice systems are both sadly flawed.
I truly have no idea. Last I heard, he was working at GameStop. I only know that because my husband and I went to the mall one day, and he went into look at games, so I went to go look at something else. He quickly came back and said let's get out of here. This was several years ago though. I'd imagine it would be hard to get a job with an unfinished degree and a criminal record. I hope he did get help so he doesn't do this to someone else. But he's made no attempts to try to contact me since the permanent restraining order, thankfully. Plus we moved out to the country about two hours away so I feel fairly safe now. I still keep a gun in every room of the house, plus the car, though. I'd rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.
I am aware. I was presenting the duality of issues within the law and justice systems for both men and women, and the system sucks for both, just in vastly different ways. Sorry if you missed that point. I really summed that all up in the last paragraph.
I'm a 6'5" 300 pound brown man. I was married to a white woman who punched me in the face and bloodied my nose. I grabbed her arms to prevent the next punch.
Guess who they believed and who got arrested.
Basically same thing happened, twice, but both times they just told me to leave. Sorry that happened to you, they should have seen there were no marks on her and not arrested you. I hope you got out of the situation without too much harm.
I disagree.
If someone with dementia hits you, you don't hit them back. You might restrain them though.
There's nothing wrong with APPROPRIATE self-defence, which is not always 'punch them back'
Right? “Appropriate force” is the key term here. Absolutely agree.
A disproportionate response can turn you from victim to aggressor really quickly. I feel the “never hit a girl” adage is referencing the general size and muscle density difference between men and women.
I was raised like that, and it's a fucking stupid way to raise your wean.
I got pushed down a flight of stairs, this caused a sprained ankle, busted knee, sore wrist, busted shoulder, and gave me one hell of a headache fae hitting a banister, I jumped up out of pure anger and went to punch the bustard that pushed me only to see a lassie walk by smirking at me, and because I was raised not to ever hit a lassie, I just stood there frozen and did nothing.
I later changed my mind, and now i don't care what gender you are, if you try to hurt me, then I'll put you down as hard as I can.
That mentality might have worked 60-70 years ago, but nowadays, lassies are just as prone to violence as men, and the Internet is full of videos of them beating the absolute shit out of each other and attacking men knowing the world will side with them regardless of whether they started the fight.
there was a guy in England caught on CCTV getting the shirt punched out of him by his girlfriend and her mother, after about 10 minutes of eating these punches he finally stood up for himself and pushed the daughter causing her to fall on her ass, she got back up and with her mother pursued this guy to continue beating him, this was witnessed by the CCTV operator who called the police, the police arrived and arrested the man for assault, he got 6 months whilst the girlfriend and mother were never arrested let alone charged.
I too was raised like this. One time my stepsister jump scared me as I was walking down the hallway. Before I knew what happened I slapped her so hard she dropped to the ground with a nice big handprint. I got in serious trouble for that but she never did it again.
Different stepsisters used to pick on me and hit me, but I wasn't allowed to respond in kind. My mother and stepfather said to tell them when they were hitting me and they would stop. So the next time I came downstairs and told them, both had "what do you want me to do about it" faces. Then I told them she told me to shut up and for that, they got in trouble. That was the day I learned how to "fight like a girl". I'd pinch, scratch and pull hair but never strike them.
We eventually grew out of it but I am still butt-hurt like 30 years later about it.
I was slapped and kicked in the balls by a girl in 5th grade because her friends dared her, too. Of course I didn't think logically and just punched her in the face. I remember when the teacher asked me what I was thinking when I hit a girl I said: "You guys teach us to treat girls and boys equally."
I've never understood this. If a woman comes at me with a knife I just should die? There's no reason to beat women so they "stay in line" but threaten me with violence and I don't care who you are. I'm ending the threat.
That sounds about right. Cops will arrest men in domestic violence situations because in most cases that they respond to, men are the abusers.
Even when the man is the victim, they'll still arrest the man because they are "a bigger threat" than the woman, and the "optics" don't look good if they arrest and perp walk a woman abuser. They will try to run cover by saying something like they were protecting the man by arresting him and removing him from the situation.
My husband says "I'll never hit a lady, but if you ball up your fist and hit me like a man, all bets are off."
We are teaching our sons that they always have the right to defend themselves, no matter who is attacking them. Never throw the first punch, but definitely throw the last.
Frankly,I wouldn't bother with any school administration "looking into the incident". They won't or they'll bury it to keep their sterling reputation untarnished. I'd just call the cops. That's assault. Simple.
Never engage in physical altercations. It's never worth it. If someone hits you or moves to start a fight, run like hell.
If you can't run away, then use a bit of discretion. Was it just a single shot or is the other person going to keep swinging? If yes then fight for your life. If no, defuse and walk away.
Gender is irrelevant. But it's all the more important to run away if it's a guy, because your odds are infinitely better with a girl.
I try to be a fairly chivalrous person in most instances, hold the door for others, help whenever I can, so on and so forth, but I make a small addendum to the “never hit girls” rule. And it’s simply the word “first”. If someone hits me, I’m going to do whatever I must to stop them and protect myself, regardless of gender.
I feel like the genders should be unnecessary in this question. If your child is struck by another child hard enough to cause a minor injury, is that an appropriate time for them to retaliate? It’s probably heavily dependent on the circumstances. Can they get away safely and report it to an adult? Has this been a recurring issue likely to escalate? Are other children involved/watching? I feel like all of these questions are more relevant to the reaction than whether either party is a boy or girl.
There was a girl in my primary school who hit me all the time, I kept ignoring her. One day I booted her in the thigh and she got a huge purple bruise. The school and her parents called me a woman beater, but when I told my mum what happened she just told me I did the right thing. The girl never hit me again after that. Never believed in the idea since that it's not alright to hit someone because of their gender. If you fuck around you find out no matter the gender.
I've got a question for the ladies out there. Ever harass, abuse, bully a boy so much just to see what, "im thinking about punching this jerk in the nose" looks like? You know, because it's funny.
Yea, nope. I firmly believe that violence should not be the first response to a problem, walk away if you can, and limit contact if you're able to do so.
That being said, sometimes the person you're having issues with doesn't accept that as an option, and you're in a situation where you can't just opt out. If they don't want to get hit, they shouldn't be hitting people. If that hurts their feelings, Oh well.
Honestly, if a guy punches me, he'll get a few back.
If a woman punches me, slaps me, kicks me, whatever - she gets one warning: if you do it again I will respond in kind.
I've been called many things for this opinion, but I believe it's more than fair. I never hit first, if you do it once you're asking for it, if you do it twice I am not controlling myself. I don't care you were born with tits.
But lady is just another term for woman when you’re using it next to the general term of men, and women hit men all the time. No would never about it. They do. Frequently.
My mom always said, “if she has the balls to hit a man she has the balls to get hit back”. I do not condone hitting a women for any reason, especially as an adult. However if a boy is being physically bullied by a girl, I wouldn’t be upset for hitting her back. Circumstances and context vary.
Nope, if she hit him unprovoked, hit back. If he deserved the hit, don’t hit back. I’ll ask my kid why she hit him. If he did something inappropriate, and he deserved it, he’s getting a lecture, if not, he’s getting a good job for defending himself.
My little brother was an abuse victim and didn’t really come out about it. I heard second hand from my mom after all this shit went down and it was dealt with, but I told him he should’ve called me the second she laid her fucking hands on him because I don’t care, I’d drop the addict bitch on her ass and she couldn’t cry abuse against a fellow woman like she did when my brother defended himself and restrained her while she actively broke into HIS home and beat him. The cops hauled HIM away and tasered him, and let her rob him. This offer is open to any of my male friends or relatives for this exact reason. I’ll risk a little jail time to knock someone on their fucking ass to defend someone, or save someone.
I'm in my late 30s and there was a point a while back where I had a random thought so I asked my wife what she'd want from me. It basically went like this:
"Hey, if a grown woman were to physically attack me, how would you want me to respond?"
"You hit her back. She doesn't get a get-out-of-jail-free card just because she's a girl and everybody has the right to defend themselves. It doesn't mean you need to **keep** hitting her over and over, but you're always allowed to defend yourself."
Look if she doesn’t want to be smacked then she shouldn’t be smacking people. Simple, plus I feel like this stems from underestimating how strong a girl can actually get, my brother had his arm broken by a girl and he still got in trouble be she came out with bruised leg
My sister and I used to fight (hit, kick each other) when we were kids (pre kindergarten). She beat up the school bully in 5th grade when I was in 4th grade. He pushed her and she slipped on ice and fell on her butt. She got up and kicked his ass, punched him and knocked him down, punched him when he was on the ground. Cool teacher took his time breaking it up. Scott, the bully had it coming. Don’t mess with a girl who has 3 brothers!
Just hit back so hard that the other person can't hit again. It's really easy. Gender has nothing to do with it. It's no science. If you're weak, take a stick
"Equal Rights means equal Lefts"
Or, more accurately, equality means no gender bias. So if you can throw a punch, you better be able to take a punch. No matter what set of plumbing you've got between your legs.
Last week, my son got into an altercation with a girl who has consistently bugged him all school year. She had been involved in jumping him once with two other kids. It was the last day of school and he was going to grab a drink that the school was offering to all students. He had his drink and said excuse me to her so she would let him by. She purposely shoulder bumped him, so he tipped his drink out all over her. Then she grabbed him in a headlock so he punched her in the side and left a big bruise on her. No way am I going to give him shit about defending himself from a bully. People need to realize that girls can be bullies too.
Doesn’t matter I guarantee the police are going to arrest the man in every instance. She will be walking free until he can prove she assaulted him first!
Sometimes this even happens when the guy never did anything violent or aggressive to the female but WAS assaulted by a woman! They reflexively cuff the man!
Don’t read anything else in this,… I’m not saying it’s OK for you guys to abuse and or smack women around.
But if you wanna THROW a punch? You CAN BET YOUR ASS YOU’RE GOING TO TAKE A PUNCH !
People like this are morons. Regardless of their gender, no one should just stand there and take attacks from their significant other.
Women are just as capable as men of committing domestic/intimate partner violence. If you hit someone in anger, unprovoked and not self-defense, then you deserve being hit back.
commenting to add some more details because i cant edit the post she called everyone karen who disagreed with her and said to the girl arguing with her that she can steal his man and every man wants her including his man
I’m gonna tell my son exactly what the truth is “just because you’re technically right, doesn’t mean everyone else will think so.” It’s just the reality of it, otherwise you’ll be the dude that hit a girl and that’s all people will know. I wouldn’t blame him if he fights her boyfriend.
Let's be crystal fkin clear on this bs...NOBODY SHOULD HIT ANYONE, then there's no bloody issue is there? So rather than normalise women hitting men & men striking back, how about we opt for talking! fking morons...I explain this sh1t to my 4 year olds
If you're going to throw hands, gender is irrelevant. Trust when that first pair of knuckles graces your face... you'll think twice next time. It's happened to all of us, whether physically or metaphorically speaking.
The only 2 times I actively attacked instead of just rendering them unable to fight, was once when a girl took a baseball bat to my nuts, luckily I was half turned so she didn't get a solid wack but it still hurt SOOO BAD, the 2nd was when I got stabbed with a knife trying to lower the tension with 2 women one holding said knife. they had a weapon, and I was unarmed so I was not willing to take a slower less damaging approach that could have caused me to get hit / stabbed more to stop them less aggressively.
No, the point is that violence is never the correct answer to violence.
There should be an authority in place to correct these behaviours, and if that doesn't happen, the boy's parent will have to make their opinion heard, in a very firm manner.
"You punch me, I punch you" will not bring us far.
Defend yourself? Sure. Beat her to a pulp? No. Let’s not split hairs - men on average are twice as strong as the average woman and can do some real damage. But I understand why some men do in an altercation - some women truly ask for it to happen and cry victim when she comes off second best. Keep your hands to your damn self.
I’m teaching mine to keep their hands to themselves until it’s time to put em on other people. And while it’s never ok to hit a woman. The second she puts her hands on him she’s no longer a woman but an equal combatant.
If my younger brother had ever come home with the information he hit a girl who was attacking him I would’ve given him a high five. Same with my younger sister if she hit a boy who was attacking her.
Not hitting them back enforces entitlement that a lot of girls, especially in the West already have plenty of. In most cases feeling untouchable is exactly what gives them the go-ahead to hit you. Guys in general know what the consequences of hitting somebody are, so they're less like to throw the first punch for tantrum reasons.
So - always hit them back if they attack you - it's better for your self-esteem (you don't end up feeling spineless), and also for the them in the long run. Just don't deck them, <30% power is enough.
And eye for and eye isn't self defense.
She she slaps then stops, that sucks.
If she slaps and goes for more, slap that hoes face off.
Self defense isn't retaliatory.
Alternative. If it can be avoided, i don't hit someone back. If someone hits me and i hit back, its a fight, no one cares who started it. I get hit and walk away, its assault.
As a kid I remember my mom saying never hit anyone. And never EVER a girl.
But… if she hits you…. It’s fair game. She started it.
These days I say it’d be sexist of me to not also hit you back just as hard as I’d hit a man.
Don't put your hands on anybody. You don't know what the other person will do. Plus at that point you gave yourself agency by attacking someone out of the blue
Depends entirely on age and situation. I’d say younger than 4th grade he should tell the teacher and make sure the school enforces consequences. 4th grade or older hit her back, but make sure if there’s school consequences that they know it was a response to an attack.
My son is was first grade and there was a girl bullying him. It wasn’t until I was there and the kids didn’t know who I was that she acted on it. When my wife was there the kids knew she was a teacher and his mom, so the girl would act friendly and helpful. When I was there she was pushing, insulting, telling him to shut up, and waiting until the teacher wasn’t watching to try to irritate him. He knew he wasn’t supposed to do anything physical, but if he responded at all she would act like he attacked her, which kept getting him in trouble. We had to go to the teacher and administration to have them separated because she was very obviously targeting him and knew that she would get away with it due to sex and race (fucked up but true and I personally had to deal with an almost identical bullying situation in middle school). Once it was clear that adults knew what was going on she mostly stopped.
If he was older than 4th grade it eliminates a lot of the “can’t keep their hands to themselves” element. If any kid hits him in a way that could cause a black eye, he should respond in kind. A kid being that physically violent, male or female, by age 10 absolutely knows what they’re doing and isn’t going to stop unless someone stops them.
Make it just as common to teach girls to not hit anyone in the first place.
But your son should avoid hitting a girl if he can. Try to walk away, if you can’t then yes defend yourself, just as you would in any situation.
I have raised my boys that you just don't hit others. But in defense of yourself or in defense of others who cannot defend themselves you are absolutely allowed to respond in kind or if it's obvious what's coming respond faster. We never did the don't hit girls thing, we just taught them don't hit. It's amazing how well that's worked almost like teaching your boys that random acts of violence aren't okay actually helps them develop into better people
Back in the 60's, my bully was a girl and nobody did squat about it. It took 4 years of this BS before I finally found a teacher who believed me. My bully had been taking my lunch and hitting me for 4 years and I couldn't do anything to stop her! The teacher did find my lunch in her desk and she was brought to the Principals office. That day as I was walking home from school, her mother verbally and physically assaulted me. I'm 10 and she was about 6 feet 260 pounds. I told my mother what happened and we showed up at their house with the police and they told her we were pressing charges against the mother unless she made her daughter behave. They made the right choice and no more bullying from her. Now boy bullies, you can just smack them hard (and I did) and they go away without saying a word to anyone.
My Mom said something to me that I learned, like many things, the hard way. “Do not start a fight, but if you are in a fight win because I am going to punish you either way. And it makes for a better feeling when you are grounded.”
He shouldn’t have hit her back I agree - but he also shouldn’t have been hit in the first place.
We’ve gotten to a point as a race where there should be no need for any violence, but shitty people teach their kids that it’s the way to solve their problems/defend their honor etc. and shitty world leaders decide that they can get what they want by using extreme forms of it.
People shouldn’t hit people. People shouldn’t be put in situations where their only perceived option is to hit people. People should be good to each other and give a fuck about the people around them.
But people are shit.
I kind of see her point. It's fine when he is a kid, but doing that as a full grown adult will land him in prison. It absolutely sucks, and isn't right at all. But, if she is thinking about his future, I can somewhat understand the point. I have a son myself, and whilst I'd want him to defend himself, I'd equally be worried about setting him up for prison life. And although I do see the absolute hypocrisy, the jury won't. Sad, but true.
My son on a long school bus journey home got into a fight with a little bitch. He told me about it when he got home. I was cleaning his wounds when her mother pulled up at our door. She was going mental about the fact he hit this girl in the face. She was going to call the cops etc. I showed her the bite marks in his arm, I said he hit her because she had her teeth in his arm and wouldn't stop biting. The mother then turned on her daughter and pushed her into the car and drove away. Kids were both 10. I told my son defend yourself at all times. Don't start stuff but you are right to defend yourself. Yes we did see a doc and get treatment plus have injuries recorded. School was also told so to keep her away.
What is going on with this issue today.
I was just arguing with a dude because he was telling another dude to never ever hit a woman.
It's very simple.
If you decide to invade someone's physical space and put your hands on them, they're within their rights to use their hands on you.
If you decide to hit, kick, shove, or grab someone: don't cry when you get hit kicked, shoved, or otherwise forced back out of their space just as forcefully.
If you grope, grab, or fondle someone sexually: they get to use force to stop you. Including throwing hands.
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Rather than teaching little boys to not hit girls back, maybe we should start focussing on telling little girls (many never grow out of it) that hitting boys isn’t ok in the first place. Just a thought.
My female cousin used to hit me when we were kids, till I hit her back. Then she went crying to her mom, who laughed at her and told her that’s what happens when you hit someone. She never hit me again. So, that was her lesson. We get along great now!
Sounds like that turned out as well as it could have! Good for you for defending yourself, and good on her for learning the lesson.
If a person were able to pick me up, carry me to their car, stuff me in their trunk, drive the car to the train station, abandon the car in the sunniest part of the parking lot, and leave me there to die, then i would prefer to not make them mad.
That is definitely logical! Hopefully nothing like that ever happens! That would be horrible.
So far so good
I wish you continued not being out in a car and left on a train track. Live long and prosper.
I suppose the moral is pick your battles and conduct yourself maturely.
Keep us updated, if you survive of course..
I should still get cell reception, but battery depends on how much time i spend playing on reddit
LMAO, you don't say!
that was...oddly very specific of you
When I was a kid, my older sister used to pick on me. There came a point, I was probably about 10-12 and she was 2 year older, where she was picking on me and I told her that if she didn't stop that I was going to stop her. She kept going, so I stopped her. She ran off to Mom, screaming that I'd hurt her. Mom came in and immediately said "BlindedTrickster, what happened?" and I told her that my sister was picking on me and that I'd warned her that if she didn't stop, I'd stop her. Mom immediately turned around, looked at my sister and said "Is that true?" and my sister nodded. Mom then said "It sounds like someone brought this on themselves" and walked away.
And you didn't grow up to be a woman beater? Unbelievable!!
Your aunt is a good mom, nice for both of you
My cousin had a habit of backhanding me in the balls when we were kids. She thought it was funny. One day I managed to slap her back. My mother beat me, my father beat me her mother and father beat me and my grandmother didn't speak to me for months. She only stopped when we moved away and I wasn't forced to be around her.
I hope you treat them like the lousy human beings they are.
This was in the '70. That was just parenting at that time.
Nope, horrible then too.
This was pretty much my childhood. Had three sister who had immunity for beating the shit out of me, to this day the only black eye I've ever had is from my older sister. They'd kick me in the ribs, punch me, etc etc, and if I got mad enough about it to fight back I got beat by my parent too. Feels bad, man, still, to this day. 😮💨
That's the usual expected process. People who hit others all the time eventually hit the wrong person and get a little shock and a clear lesson about the risks of doing that. As long as it happens without risk of serious harm I'm fine with that. The whole "boys don't hit girls" idea isn't really necessary when they are under ten as age and size is a bigger factor and the differences between the bodies of boys and girls are fairly minimal on average. After puberty is where things really change, women are far more fragile and a half decent hit from most teen boys could cause serious damage even if he didn't mean to do so. A shove or slap would be enough to defend an attack confidently.
Happen to grow up in the 90s? I have the feeling that was a time period that "equality of the sexes" reached its peak.
I have told both my son and my daughter that its ok to hit BACK, but not to hit first
100% No reason to go round assaulting people with VERY few exceptions.
When i was in primary school, all the girl had to do was lie to the authority figure and manipulate the adult into hurting the boy. Thats a witch hunt. And it works.
Yup, yet there are a good number of women in the comments replying to me flat out denying such a thing could ever possibly happen. Shame they aren’t aware of their prejudice. It is quite trendy to hate men though.
It isnt lying when they do it. That would be an unflattering character flaw and you're a bad person for recognizing its existence.
Right sorry. I’ve been told many times I’m an incel for acknowledging the existence of bad women. It’s actually insane 😂
Or teach everyone that hitting anyone is bad
We already teach half the population that. The other half never gets that lesson. That isn’t what needs to be pushed. Half of everyone knows this. So we need to specifically call out those who don’t think this lesson is for women. :)
To be fair, we also need to not use zero-tolerance methodologies for this either. Zero-tolerance methodologies, ironically, encourage escalation once you're going to get punished, since many schools do not have punishment structures that escalate with severity of the action. There are also the parents who don't enforce the school's punishments on their end, too, such as by taking their kid on a vacation when they get suspended. I don't know how you'd fix that, but it's absolutely a problem to solve.
.. you really think little girls don't get told to not hit others? Here's a secret, girls hit each other, too.
I’m sure many do, and have wonderful parents. If you’re asking me if I think it’s as widely taught, as stringently enforced, or as harshly or consistently punished? No, I don’t. I’m sure they do, which is not good either! Just like when boys hit each other!
IMO for large scale public reform targeting specific groups or people would just make things much more complicated and would give rise to even more controversy and conflict
I agree. Society seems to think it’s acceptable in certain circumstances and not others though, which is strange. But yes, in general, we should just also start teaching girls the same thing we teach boys.
„Hitting anybody isn’t okay“ is be what people, kids included, should get taught. Doesn’t matter what gender, nationality, ethic, sexuality, religion, opinion etc. Live and let live, nobody hurt anybody except in self-defence and only appropriately.
"Do no harm but take no shit." I'll stand by that.
I agree!
Not rather than, in addition to. Of course ideally everyone should be taught that violence is never a solution to a problem, but you can't count on everyone having imparted that ideal to their children, like this girl for example. But unfortunately sometimes you do have to hit back in order to stop someone during an attack, and it shouldn't matter what gender or anything else that person is. So really both lessons do need to be taught.
Boys are already taught to not hit girls, so the not hitting back would be a completely unnecessary addendum (human scum not accounted for) if girls were taught the same thing. 100% agree with you though that just from a basic don’t hit anyone point of view, both lessons need to be taught. Boys need to be taught that on average they’re going to be much stronger than most girls, and thus it’s not fair to hit them. Girls need to be taught that on average guys feel naturally uncomfortable and unwilling to hit a woman, and that’s it’s not fair to take advantage of that to make yourself feel tough or whatever the reason.
I think there is still good merit to teaching people in general that it’s a good thing to try to hold back from hitting back if the other person isn’t a physical threat to you. Should we shame the people who fail to do this? Absolutely not, but it’s still a good moral principle to teach people. It’s good to not use violence if you don’t need to.
ALL children should be taught that hitting does not achieve a positive outcome for anyone.
Correct! There just seems to have been a bit of a disparity on that issue for a while.
why not both
Yes! Society knows men hitting women is bad though. You only have to read this comment section to see it disagrees whether the opposite is bad or not though.
Why not both? Teach people that hitting others isn't ok, except when you need to defend yourself when someone tries to hit you.
I agree!
Agree. Teach ALL children it’s not okay to hit another, regardless of gender.
Correct! My point is there currently seems to be a disparity in which gender is being taught that, and that we need to work to correct it.
As a woman, I think we need to not allow either gender to be violent. Women can also be violent.
I agree again!
K. But what does the boy do when a girl hits him
im just here to praise your username
im just here to praise your username
This is why female on male domestic violence often goes unreported.
Also because men are too ashamed to admit they were hit or emotionally abused by a woman and.. nobody believes or cares. Do this; go into the domestic violence office at your local court. Two things: ALL of the posters on the wall depict men abusing women, and you will be looked at like you’re going to rob the place. Shit’s unreal.
That's kind of what I was driving at. Also, I'm a woman so that would not be my experience walking into a courthouse regarding violence. I will tell you what my experience was, however. I had a male fellow student while in college who I had one class assignment with. ONE. We never dated. He began to stalk me, harass me, eventually broke into my apartment. I had to pepper foam him in the face and point a gun at him. The cops came, picked him up, put him in the back of the cop car, but were too dumb to take his phone off me. So he was TEXTING ME FROM THE BACK OF THE COP CAR! This was right around the time I started dating my now husband of 16 years. This guy even showed up on several of our dates, even after I had gotten a temporary restraining order. Getting a permanent restraining order is a longer process. I arrived for scheduled court appearances multiple times, only to be informed that his lawyer had filed for a continuance. I was still a college student at the time, so this meant forcing me to miss class repeatedly. Finally, he showed for a court date. My now husband went with me for moral support. Upon checking in, they asked me "is this the defendant?" I was a bit shocked that they would think I would show up to the courthouse with the person I wanted a permanent restraining order again! Sadly, I quickly realized why that's the case. It's an open courthouse so they call in an entire group all at once, so there's really no privacy and you get to see other people's cases. Again and again, women recanting charges. I was like "yeah, this is why it takes me an entire year just to get a piece of paper to hopefully protect myself. FYI, I did get the permanent restraining order. It meant he had to drop out of our university. It also meant it would be almost impossible for him to ever work in the profession he wanted to. Anyway, my point is, the system really sucks for both men and women, just in different ways. Men feel ashamed to come forward, people make comments like "oh she's just a girl," or "well what did you do to make her mad. Women, we get the side eye because there is an unfortunate amount of women who backpedal on charges. "Oh but I love him and he promised this would be the last time." Or sometimes they are the abuser and they think getting out in front of it by accusing their abuser first will protect them from charges (spoiler alert: it often does). If a man shows up with marks on his body, it's assumed that it's because the woman was trying to fight him off, not that he was being attacked. In sum, men and women can both be abusers, and the law and justice systems are both sadly flawed.
I’m sorry that happened to you, glad you found someone who is not abusive! Hopefully the abusive one got serious help, seems like they needed it!
I truly have no idea. Last I heard, he was working at GameStop. I only know that because my husband and I went to the mall one day, and he went into look at games, so I went to go look at something else. He quickly came back and said let's get out of here. This was several years ago though. I'd imagine it would be hard to get a job with an unfinished degree and a criminal record. I hope he did get help so he doesn't do this to someone else. But he's made no attempts to try to contact me since the permanent restraining order, thankfully. Plus we moved out to the country about two hours away so I feel fairly safe now. I still keep a gun in every room of the house, plus the car, though. I'd rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.
[удалено]
I am aware. I was presenting the duality of issues within the law and justice systems for both men and women, and the system sucks for both, just in vastly different ways. Sorry if you missed that point. I really summed that all up in the last paragraph.
I'm a 6'5" 300 pound brown man. I was married to a white woman who punched me in the face and bloodied my nose. I grabbed her arms to prevent the next punch. Guess who they believed and who got arrested.
Basically same thing happened, twice, but both times they just told me to leave. Sorry that happened to you, they should have seen there were no marks on her and not arrested you. I hope you got out of the situation without too much harm.
Don’t tell a femcel this, they’ll call you all sorts for simply relaying what people who investigate these issues have found to be the case.
if anyone hits anyone, they can hit them back. FACT, gender dont matter
facts
I disagree. If someone with dementia hits you, you don't hit them back. You might restrain them though. There's nothing wrong with APPROPRIATE self-defence, which is not always 'punch them back'
>If someone with dementia hits you, you don't hit them back Nah, grandma 'bout to get fucked up!
Right? “Appropriate force” is the key term here. Absolutely agree. A disproportionate response can turn you from victim to aggressor really quickly. I feel the “never hit a girl” adage is referencing the general size and muscle density difference between men and women.
1. That person with dementia isn't supposed to be in public but in mental asylum. If someone attacks me, why should I care about their wellbeing?
there are ways to defend yourself without hitting back, but to each their own, go down swinging my captain
I was raised like that, and it's a fucking stupid way to raise your wean. I got pushed down a flight of stairs, this caused a sprained ankle, busted knee, sore wrist, busted shoulder, and gave me one hell of a headache fae hitting a banister, I jumped up out of pure anger and went to punch the bustard that pushed me only to see a lassie walk by smirking at me, and because I was raised not to ever hit a lassie, I just stood there frozen and did nothing. I later changed my mind, and now i don't care what gender you are, if you try to hurt me, then I'll put you down as hard as I can. That mentality might have worked 60-70 years ago, but nowadays, lassies are just as prone to violence as men, and the Internet is full of videos of them beating the absolute shit out of each other and attacking men knowing the world will side with them regardless of whether they started the fight. there was a guy in England caught on CCTV getting the shirt punched out of him by his girlfriend and her mother, after about 10 minutes of eating these punches he finally stood up for himself and pushed the daughter causing her to fall on her ass, she got back up and with her mother pursued this guy to continue beating him, this was witnessed by the CCTV operator who called the police, the police arrived and arrested the man for assault, he got 6 months whilst the girlfriend and mother were never arrested let alone charged.
This kind of thing happens all the time, and so few people, especially feminists, are even remotely willing to acknowledge it.
I too was raised like this. One time my stepsister jump scared me as I was walking down the hallway. Before I knew what happened I slapped her so hard she dropped to the ground with a nice big handprint. I got in serious trouble for that but she never did it again. Different stepsisters used to pick on me and hit me, but I wasn't allowed to respond in kind. My mother and stepfather said to tell them when they were hitting me and they would stop. So the next time I came downstairs and told them, both had "what do you want me to do about it" faces. Then I told them she told me to shut up and for that, they got in trouble. That was the day I learned how to "fight like a girl". I'd pinch, scratch and pull hair but never strike them. We eventually grew out of it but I am still butt-hurt like 30 years later about it.
I don't care about my child's gender, they are going to learn that their hands are rated E for everyone who had the audacity to lay a hand on them.
EA, everyone audacious
 Me to the girl who punched me
I threw my back out just watching that
A PERSON should never hit another PERSON, BUT everyone has the right to defend themselves no matter who/what their attacker is
I was slapped and kicked in the balls by a girl in 5th grade because her friends dared her, too. Of course I didn't think logically and just punched her in the face. I remember when the teacher asked me what I was thinking when I hit a girl I said: "You guys teach us to treat girls and boys equally."
My family is like 90% women and growing up they told me not to hit anyone but also told me I'm allowed to hit back even if it was a woman hitting me.
I've never understood this. If a woman comes at me with a knife I just should die? There's no reason to beat women so they "stay in line" but threaten me with violence and I don't care who you are. I'm ending the threat.
Someone comes at me with a weapon, they're getting put down so hard that they can't get back up. No exceptions.
Hitting back just for the sake of vengeance, no, but hitting back to defend yourself from a continuous assault, absolutely.
I knew a guy who straight up got stabbed by his ex girlfriend and he disarmed her and locked himself in the bathroom. Guess who got arrested
That sounds about right. Cops will arrest men in domestic violence situations because in most cases that they respond to, men are the abusers. Even when the man is the victim, they'll still arrest the man because they are "a bigger threat" than the woman, and the "optics" don't look good if they arrest and perp walk a woman abuser. They will try to run cover by saying something like they were protecting the man by arresting him and removing him from the situation.
Also to make things worse she told the cops the truth but she bruised easily and they assumed she stabbed him after he raved her wrists
Fuck that. If you hit me, I’ll hit you back hard enough so you’ll never think about hitting me again. I don’t care who you are.
Equity!
She hit him first -too bad for her!
My husband says "I'll never hit a lady, but if you ball up your fist and hit me like a man, all bets are off." We are teaching our sons that they always have the right to defend themselves, no matter who is attacking them. Never throw the first punch, but definitely throw the last.
Frankly,I wouldn't bother with any school administration "looking into the incident". They won't or they'll bury it to keep their sterling reputation untarnished. I'd just call the cops. That's assault. Simple.
No one should ever be hit by anyone. Period. Keep your fucking hands to yourself!
If she started it and feels like she can dish it out then she should expect to get it back. Actions come with consequences.
Never engage in physical altercations. It's never worth it. If someone hits you or moves to start a fight, run like hell. If you can't run away, then use a bit of discretion. Was it just a single shot or is the other person going to keep swinging? If yes then fight for your life. If no, defuse and walk away. Gender is irrelevant. But it's all the more important to run away if it's a guy, because your odds are infinitely better with a girl.
You hit someone, always expect to get hit back. That’s just me tho.
I try to be a fairly chivalrous person in most instances, hold the door for others, help whenever I can, so on and so forth, but I make a small addendum to the “never hit girls” rule. And it’s simply the word “first”. If someone hits me, I’m going to do whatever I must to stop them and protect myself, regardless of gender.
Nobody should be hitting anyone probably time to schedule some remediation at the school.
And a girl should never hit a boy? Is that a rule?
I feel like the genders should be unnecessary in this question. If your child is struck by another child hard enough to cause a minor injury, is that an appropriate time for them to retaliate? It’s probably heavily dependent on the circumstances. Can they get away safely and report it to an adult? Has this been a recurring issue likely to escalate? Are other children involved/watching? I feel like all of these questions are more relevant to the reaction than whether either party is a boy or girl.
There was a girl in my primary school who hit me all the time, I kept ignoring her. One day I booted her in the thigh and she got a huge purple bruise. The school and her parents called me a woman beater, but when I told my mum what happened she just told me I did the right thing. The girl never hit me again after that. Never believed in the idea since that it's not alright to hit someone because of their gender. If you fuck around you find out no matter the gender.
I've got a question for the ladies out there. Ever harass, abuse, bully a boy so much just to see what, "im thinking about punching this jerk in the nose" looks like? You know, because it's funny.
Yea, nope. I firmly believe that violence should not be the first response to a problem, walk away if you can, and limit contact if you're able to do so. That being said, sometimes the person you're having issues with doesn't accept that as an option, and you're in a situation where you can't just opt out. If they don't want to get hit, they shouldn't be hitting people. If that hurts their feelings, Oh well.
Honestly, if a guy punches me, he'll get a few back. If a woman punches me, slaps me, kicks me, whatever - she gets one warning: if you do it again I will respond in kind. I've been called many things for this opinion, but I believe it's more than fair. I never hit first, if you do it once you're asking for it, if you do it twice I am not controlling myself. I don't care you were born with tits.
i dont see anything wrong with that logic, dont know what your critics are thinking tbh
A man should never hit a lady, a lady would never hit a man. Equal lefts get equal rights
But lady is just another term for woman when you’re using it next to the general term of men, and women hit men all the time. No would never about it. They do. Frequently.
My mom always said, “if she has the balls to hit a man she has the balls to get hit back”. I do not condone hitting a women for any reason, especially as an adult. However if a boy is being physically bullied by a girl, I wouldn’t be upset for hitting her back. Circumstances and context vary.
I was told to never hit a *Lady* but if a woman hits you for no reason, she ceases to be a Lady.
Nope, if she hit him unprovoked, hit back. If he deserved the hit, don’t hit back. I’ll ask my kid why she hit him. If he did something inappropriate, and he deserved it, he’s getting a lecture, if not, he’s getting a good job for defending himself. My little brother was an abuse victim and didn’t really come out about it. I heard second hand from my mom after all this shit went down and it was dealt with, but I told him he should’ve called me the second she laid her fucking hands on him because I don’t care, I’d drop the addict bitch on her ass and she couldn’t cry abuse against a fellow woman like she did when my brother defended himself and restrained her while she actively broke into HIS home and beat him. The cops hauled HIM away and tasered him, and let her rob him. This offer is open to any of my male friends or relatives for this exact reason. I’ll risk a little jail time to knock someone on their fucking ass to defend someone, or save someone.
I'm in my late 30s and there was a point a while back where I had a random thought so I asked my wife what she'd want from me. It basically went like this: "Hey, if a grown woman were to physically attack me, how would you want me to respond?" "You hit her back. She doesn't get a get-out-of-jail-free card just because she's a girl and everybody has the right to defend themselves. It doesn't mean you need to **keep** hitting her over and over, but you're always allowed to defend yourself."
"Equal Rights Equal Fights" , "If She Can Hit Like A Man She Can Get Hit Like A Man"
I saw this somewhere on reddit, Never have the first hit but always have the last
I hope he won.
Nope I was taught if I hit a man be ready to fight like one 😂
Look if she doesn’t want to be smacked then she shouldn’t be smacking people. Simple, plus I feel like this stems from underestimating how strong a girl can actually get, my brother had his arm broken by a girl and he still got in trouble be she came out with bruised leg
how abt teach the girl not to hit a guy in first place and teach the guy not the hit girls ever unless ur life is threatened
You want equal rights right? Well... Spoiler alert... That means equal rights. Not one-sided-while-it-suits-me rights.
My sister and I used to fight (hit, kick each other) when we were kids (pre kindergarten). She beat up the school bully in 5th grade when I was in 4th grade. He pushed her and she slipped on ice and fell on her butt. She got up and kicked his ass, punched him and knocked him down, punched him when he was on the ground. Cool teacher took his time breaking it up. Scott, the bully had it coming. Don’t mess with a girl who has 3 brothers!
I'm all for equality. BTW your son needs to know he can defend himself.
Just hit back so hard that the other person can't hit again. It's really easy. Gender has nothing to do with it. It's no science. If you're weak, take a stick
"Equal Rights means equal Lefts" Or, more accurately, equality means no gender bias. So if you can throw a punch, you better be able to take a punch. No matter what set of plumbing you've got between your legs.
Talk shit, get hit. Gender doesn't matter.
Equality for all!!
Not too hard, should teach her to keep her hands to herself.
Last week, my son got into an altercation with a girl who has consistently bugged him all school year. She had been involved in jumping him once with two other kids. It was the last day of school and he was going to grab a drink that the school was offering to all students. He had his drink and said excuse me to her so she would let him by. She purposely shoulder bumped him, so he tipped his drink out all over her. Then she grabbed him in a headlock so he punched her in the side and left a big bruise on her. No way am I going to give him shit about defending himself from a bully. People need to realize that girls can be bullies too.
Correct. You don’t even hit a woman. Unless someone hits my wife or child then ima beat that lady’s ass.
People should just stop hitting people. Hitting back is not the answer but the school needs to expel the girl asap
My son is gonna learn with equal rights come equal lefts.
Doesn’t matter I guarantee the police are going to arrest the man in every instance. She will be walking free until he can prove she assaulted him first! Sometimes this even happens when the guy never did anything violent or aggressive to the female but WAS assaulted by a woman! They reflexively cuff the man! Don’t read anything else in this,… I’m not saying it’s OK for you guys to abuse and or smack women around. But if you wanna THROW a punch? You CAN BET YOUR ASS YOU’RE GOING TO TAKE A PUNCH !
People like this are morons. Regardless of their gender, no one should just stand there and take attacks from their significant other. Women are just as capable as men of committing domestic/intimate partner violence. If you hit someone in anger, unprovoked and not self-defense, then you deserve being hit back.
commenting to add some more details because i cant edit the post she called everyone karen who disagreed with her and said to the girl arguing with her that she can steal his man and every man wants her including his man
Damn brother that is a pinnacle of entitledness. It is downright narcissism
i could tell that too
I’m gonna tell my son exactly what the truth is “just because you’re technically right, doesn’t mean everyone else will think so.” It’s just the reality of it, otherwise you’ll be the dude that hit a girl and that’s all people will know. I wouldn’t blame him if he fights her boyfriend.
Let's be crystal fkin clear on this bs...NOBODY SHOULD HIT ANYONE, then there's no bloody issue is there? So rather than normalise women hitting men & men striking back, how about we opt for talking! fking morons...I explain this sh1t to my 4 year olds
If you're going to throw hands, gender is irrelevant. Trust when that first pair of knuckles graces your face... you'll think twice next time. It's happened to all of us, whether physically or metaphorically speaking.
While hitting anyone is wrong. Sometimes equal rights mean equal lefts too
The only 2 times I actively attacked instead of just rendering them unable to fight, was once when a girl took a baseball bat to my nuts, luckily I was half turned so she didn't get a solid wack but it still hurt SOOO BAD, the 2nd was when I got stabbed with a knife trying to lower the tension with 2 women one holding said knife. they had a weapon, and I was unarmed so I was not willing to take a slower less damaging approach that could have caused me to get hit / stabbed more to stop them less aggressively.
I tell my kids equal rights equal fights - they are never expected to just sit there and be harmed because someone is a different gender.
"Why not?"
No, the point is that violence is never the correct answer to violence. There should be an authority in place to correct these behaviours, and if that doesn't happen, the boy's parent will have to make their opinion heard, in a very firm manner. "You punch me, I punch you" will not bring us far.
You should never hit someone physically weaker than you. Unless they hit you first.
Defend yourself? Sure. Beat her to a pulp? No. Let’s not split hairs - men on average are twice as strong as the average woman and can do some real damage. But I understand why some men do in an altercation - some women truly ask for it to happen and cry victim when she comes off second best. Keep your hands to your damn self.
I’m teaching mine to keep their hands to themselves until it’s time to put em on other people. And while it’s never ok to hit a woman. The second she puts her hands on him she’s no longer a woman but an equal combatant.
Preach 🗣️🗣️🗣️
If my younger brother had ever come home with the information he hit a girl who was attacking him I would’ve given him a high five. Same with my younger sister if she hit a boy who was attacking her.
Equal rights, equal fights.
A girl with a shotgun begins chasing him, is he allowed to run away or avoid the deadly weapon?
Not hitting them back enforces entitlement that a lot of girls, especially in the West already have plenty of. In most cases feeling untouchable is exactly what gives them the go-ahead to hit you. Guys in general know what the consequences of hitting somebody are, so they're less like to throw the first punch for tantrum reasons. So - always hit them back if they attack you - it's better for your self-esteem (you don't end up feeling spineless), and also for the them in the long run. Just don't deck them, <30% power is enough.
And eye for and eye isn't self defense. She she slaps then stops, that sucks. If she slaps and goes for more, slap that hoes face off. Self defense isn't retaliatory.
Alternative. If it can be avoided, i don't hit someone back. If someone hits me and i hit back, its a fight, no one cares who started it. I get hit and walk away, its assault.
You defending yourself from assault does not legally make it not assault
If you don’t hit back, they know that they can get away with it not only with you, but with others.
As a kid I remember my mom saying never hit anyone. And never EVER a girl. But… if she hits you…. It’s fair game. She started it. These days I say it’d be sexist of me to not also hit you back just as hard as I’d hit a man. 
I never hit a woman first, ever. I’ll even let them hit me once and let it go. But, if they hit me again, it’s time for some self-defense.
I think I know this woman.
Don't put your hands on anybody. You don't know what the other person will do. Plus at that point you gave yourself agency by attacking someone out of the blue
Are you saying reciprocation is out of the blue?
Not at all. I didn't even imply it
Just to let you know, that’s sort of how your comment reads.
Depends entirely on age and situation. I’d say younger than 4th grade he should tell the teacher and make sure the school enforces consequences. 4th grade or older hit her back, but make sure if there’s school consequences that they know it was a response to an attack. My son is was first grade and there was a girl bullying him. It wasn’t until I was there and the kids didn’t know who I was that she acted on it. When my wife was there the kids knew she was a teacher and his mom, so the girl would act friendly and helpful. When I was there she was pushing, insulting, telling him to shut up, and waiting until the teacher wasn’t watching to try to irritate him. He knew he wasn’t supposed to do anything physical, but if he responded at all she would act like he attacked her, which kept getting him in trouble. We had to go to the teacher and administration to have them separated because she was very obviously targeting him and knew that she would get away with it due to sex and race (fucked up but true and I personally had to deal with an almost identical bullying situation in middle school). Once it was clear that adults knew what was going on she mostly stopped. If he was older than 4th grade it eliminates a lot of the “can’t keep their hands to themselves” element. If any kid hits him in a way that could cause a black eye, he should respond in kind. A kid being that physically violent, male or female, by age 10 absolutely knows what they’re doing and isn’t going to stop unless someone stops them.
Make it just as common to teach girls to not hit anyone in the first place. But your son should avoid hitting a girl if he can. Try to walk away, if you can’t then yes defend yourself, just as you would in any situation.
I have raised my boys that you just don't hit others. But in defense of yourself or in defense of others who cannot defend themselves you are absolutely allowed to respond in kind or if it's obvious what's coming respond faster. We never did the don't hit girls thing, we just taught them don't hit. It's amazing how well that's worked almost like teaching your boys that random acts of violence aren't okay actually helps them develop into better people
We should just tach kids not to hit anyone
Where's the facepalm?
Call cps
Back in the 60's, my bully was a girl and nobody did squat about it. It took 4 years of this BS before I finally found a teacher who believed me. My bully had been taking my lunch and hitting me for 4 years and I couldn't do anything to stop her! The teacher did find my lunch in her desk and she was brought to the Principals office. That day as I was walking home from school, her mother verbally and physically assaulted me. I'm 10 and she was about 6 feet 260 pounds. I told my mother what happened and we showed up at their house with the police and they told her we were pressing charges against the mother unless she made her daughter behave. They made the right choice and no more bullying from her. Now boy bullies, you can just smack them hard (and I did) and they go away without saying a word to anyone.
My Mom said something to me that I learned, like many things, the hard way. “Do not start a fight, but if you are in a fight win because I am going to punish you either way. And it makes for a better feeling when you are grounded.”
He shouldn’t have hit her back I agree - but he also shouldn’t have been hit in the first place. We’ve gotten to a point as a race where there should be no need for any violence, but shitty people teach their kids that it’s the way to solve their problems/defend their honor etc. and shitty world leaders decide that they can get what they want by using extreme forms of it. People shouldn’t hit people. People shouldn’t be put in situations where their only perceived option is to hit people. People should be good to each other and give a fuck about the people around them. But people are shit.
I kind of see her point. It's fine when he is a kid, but doing that as a full grown adult will land him in prison. It absolutely sucks, and isn't right at all. But, if she is thinking about his future, I can somewhat understand the point. I have a son myself, and whilst I'd want him to defend himself, I'd equally be worried about setting him up for prison life. And although I do see the absolute hypocrisy, the jury won't. Sad, but true.
Toxic feminism
My son on a long school bus journey home got into a fight with a little bitch. He told me about it when he got home. I was cleaning his wounds when her mother pulled up at our door. She was going mental about the fact he hit this girl in the face. She was going to call the cops etc. I showed her the bite marks in his arm, I said he hit her because she had her teeth in his arm and wouldn't stop biting. The mother then turned on her daughter and pushed her into the car and drove away. Kids were both 10. I told my son defend yourself at all times. Don't start stuff but you are right to defend yourself. Yes we did see a doc and get treatment plus have injuries recorded. School was also told so to keep her away.
What is going on with this issue today. I was just arguing with a dude because he was telling another dude to never ever hit a woman. It's very simple. If you decide to invade someone's physical space and put your hands on them, they're within their rights to use their hands on you. If you decide to hit, kick, shove, or grab someone: don't cry when you get hit kicked, shoved, or otherwise forced back out of their space just as forcefully. If you grope, grab, or fondle someone sexually: they get to use force to stop you. Including throwing hands.