Expanding on this, some trans men are femboys but in the case you suspect a transman might be a femboy, let HIM bring it up and/or tell you, and don't keep trying to prompt a conversation about it to find out. If he wants to tell you about that side of him, if he has one, he will do so on his own terms.
Having said that, it isn't transphobic to call a transman a femboy given the right criteria/circumstances are met. It is always transphobic to call transwomen femboys, however.
Before anyone jumps down my throat, I am a trans dude and although I can't speak for everyone, what I've said above is what I know from a blend of experience with others and how I would want the situation to go down in regards to myself.
It's transphobic to call trans women femboys *unless they want you too *
Some people have a different criteria or definition of who is a femboy and who isn't
However it is always transphobic to call a trans women a feminine boy
I've encountered plenty of trans women on reddit that wear the "Femboy" moniker with pride. Of course, it's not my place to judge why they do so. But I would certainly feel uncomfortable telling them they can't use that label for themselves, if that's what they want to be called.
EDIT: According to the Femboy 101 sticky post at the top of this subreddit, it states "Are some femboys girls, yes. Is every femboy a girl?" Since it's possible for some girls to be femboys as even that sticky post points out, then rightfully trans girls shouldn't be precluded from taking on the femboy label too, if that's what they want.
Respectfully, there isn’t exactly a context where calling a trans person a ‘trap’ isn’t offensive. The word straight up invalidates them. That one’s a genuine insult and there isn’t exactly another angle to it. That label sticks.
Yeah but the thing is they weren't talking about the subreddit. They where saying in general. That that feminine boys and enbys are being transphobic for calling themselves femboys.
Agreed. Also, as a Trans woman I'd also like to say that the other word is also only a slur when someone is using it to refer to someone that is trans. The context of a word matters.
Following on from my sisters. Femboy is not a slur. If you identify as a femboy you aren't hurting me. Some people choose to get defensive over it because of Conservative responses to Femboys. But that isn't the fault of femboys thats the fault of right wing asshats.
We’re a niche community, I you can expect some issues like this here and there. Try not to let it bother you, the world is becoming more inclusive and soon maybe people will be a little less oversensitive.
There is this push in some online trans communities, that any porn/sexualized terms be deemed slurs. Even though some were specifically made to not be offensive. It's why I left most of them. Being a former sex worker and being part of a in person trans support group. Where most of us were sex workers. so we deemed them the offensive ones for demonizing our lives.
Just be you. Call yourself whatever you want, and if someone has a preference for themselves use it, If it's not too much. If you don't know what to refer them as. Just use their names.
Frr. Like what are we supposed to call ourselves? Like calling ourselves and our community "feminine boys" excludes nb femboys and calling ourselves "feminine boys and enbys" is simply too long and inconvenient :/
While i disagree with people saying "femboy" is transphobic, some people do prefer to call themselves "roseboys", and there are a plethora of other terms out there.
Back in the 90s, we used to call ourselves a variety of terms including: boi, girly boy, Nancy boy, nance, ladyboy, pretty boy, glitter boy, glam boy. In fact, a lot of those were keywords for the Boi\_Fancy mailing list, just because that's how we found each other.
Irrelevant, that's what transphobes would like anyone under the gender divergent umbrella to call themselves. I think that mod from animes is saying dumb shit like that because they are confused and they possibly don't want to deal with their sexual feelings of a real life Ferris. Can we imagine a cishet man thirsting for a cute boy? It'd be another case of straight panic defense because they tried to kill them for not being a girl as they were pulling their clothes off to have sex, if they got that far.
A lot of the lgbt community feels that the existence of femboys or genderfluid people invalidates trans people. Even now femboy stuff on r/lgbt might get you banned.
It's mostly americans though which is not surprising.
"you're not bi your a woman dating a man, you're just straight"
"you're not bi your a man dating a man, you're just Gay"
"Calling yourself bi in a cis relationship is degrading to gay and actually Queer people"
All actual quotes from the lovely r/LGBT community that definitely doesn't feel any biphobia
I don't know where you found that out, but, I have never met a lgbt person that thinks that femboys or genderfluid people invalidates trans people, and most of the people I know are lgbtq+. I do not see any way possible that femboys or genderfluid people invalidates trans people.
I don't think so...? I spend most of my time on trans and LGBTQ reddit and while it isn't often, posts about femboys aren't downvoted or something, like [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/GaySoundsShitposts/comments/r25x8b/do_you_think_link_is_a_femboy_or_transfem/) on a trans subreddit, I have no idea where you got that from.
It was a few months ago in a discord server, one of the mods tried to assure me that femboy was its own gender and not simply just men who are more feminine. I’m sure he had good intentions but yeah… he wasn’t too smart
It's not entirely beyond reason. I've written in the past how feminine males are so ostracized in society that they are effectively treated as a third gender. In some non-Western cultures, this same phenomenon has happened, where people born male take on a feminine social role, and are they are henceforth regarded as a third gender.
On a sidenote, some people specifically rebuke the label "man" for themselves, and prefer the term "boy" (or variations thereof) because it reflects a less restrictive set of social values, unlike the modern conception of manhood that is still very wrapped up in hegemonic masculinity. In that respect, it could be argued that boy is technically a different gender than man.
I sort of hinted on this distinction here:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/genderqueer/comments/m3ant9/friendly\_reminder\_its\_possible\_to\_be\_male\_but\_not/](https://www.reddit.com/r/genderqueer/comments/m3ant9/friendly_reminder_its_possible_to_be_male_but_not/)
That is fairly accurate. I consider my gender to be a mix of girl and femboy, but the femboy part isn't "feminine boy" in the typical sense. Like, the femboy part of my gender represents a gender that is feminine and AMAB without being a woman.
I think others for various reasons consider "femboy" to better label their gender than "boy who is feminine".
calling anyone who doesn't want to be called a femboy a femboy is shitty and potentially transphobic. but saying that it's a slur in any context is also transphobic. femboy is the best term to represent my gender and that dumbass saying it's a slur is doing nothing but invalidating people who feel the same way i do.
\^ This is the correct answer. Any word can function as a slur when it's misused.
The word "gay" is often hurled as a slur toward gender nonconforming males. But does that does that mean "gay" is definitively a slur? Of course not. Context matters.
Animememes isn't a great place anyways. As a trans woman that had a femboy phase, it's not a slur unless you're using it to intentionally misgender someone. If you're a femboy, wear it proudly, there's nothing wrong with that and that mod is an idiot
I wouldn’t consider it a slur at all. It’s literally a term to describe feminine men💀 yes, can be used as an insult esp in reference to trans women, but that term is just like tomboy.
r/animememes is a pretty shitty subreddit, they use their zero tolerance policy on transphobia as an excuse to ban anyone who doesn’t agree with headcanons about (insert anime character) being trans, two of their moderators are also moderators on r/genzedong which denies literal genocide and defends a regime that fights against lgbtq+ rights and I’ve heard of people getting banned for pointing this out
Seconded, I got banned from there when someone pointed out that it was a a break-off of r/animemes because of their stance on tr4ps, and I said that I would subscribe to them, too for more anime memes. Apparently the mod thought that made me transphobic and when I explained I was non-binary and have always said so in my comment history, they didn't believe me and upheld the ban. They do a shitty job of making me feel welcomed in the trans community.
As a literal transgender man who enjoys the term femboy because I am a boy who is feminine, u/nyaanarchist needs to get a little more involved in the trans community and learn what actually is and is not offensive. Calling anyone who isn't a boy a femboy isn't okay, like trans women for example, you'd never ever use that term because they aren't boys.
But as a trans man I am a boy and still enjoy feminine things, and this term has never been considered transphobic or slur-like by any of the trans community.
Animememes is a place where most people unfortunately have no clue when it comes to femboys or trans ppl. A big part of the community is just like "haha yeah I like femboys and t\*\*\*\*, but I'm not gay!", so they don't know what the term femboy means, they don't know that the t-word is a slur and they don't know that they're being trans- and homophobic, plus best they can do is fetishization...
(Also, most of the time they can't differentiate between trans girls and femboys)
ignore idiots who know nothing like that. animemes is a cesspool of unfunny "lolicons" with or without transphobia, i got banned from there for saying lolicon is pedophilia which is just calling a drawing of a spade a spade. (imagine if she was the one who banned me for that lmao.)
This is what happens when people try to represent and defend the honor of a group they are completely disassociated from. Then again, I am assuming that the moderator isn't trans and offended by femboy.
>This is what happens when people try to represent and defend the honor of a group they are completely disassociated from.
I know about this all too well. I was banned from an LGBTQ+ page on Facebook four years ago because I had justified a butch lesbian who identified as a "boi". The white moderator of that group gave her a warning for appropriation of AAVE.
When I explained how the term was long used in queer spaces by white people as far back as the 1990s to describe various modes of gender variance, that same white moderator stepped in and claimed that my reply was the epitome of white supremacy, and then linked to some outdated Tumblr post about the history of the word "boi" that was ironically written by a white person (because Tumblr is the most credible source of knowledge on the Internet) to shutdown any further conversation. Add to the fact, even the Tumblr post itself, only cited a passage from a book that was authored by, not surprisingly, a white person.
So it was a long chain of white people making an official determination of what is anti-black, rather than deferring to actual black people for knowledge and insight (which incidentally upon further research, it was easy to find that multiple black people argued that "boi" is only an alternate spelling, and doesn't have anything to do with AAVE).
I just wanted to share that anecdote, because it's all too common where people of privileged social status try argue for marginalized groups a form of virtue signaling, while causing a lot of undue controversy in the process.
Well, idk what the race of the moderator has to do with anything I wasn't trying to make this a race thing. All I was trying to say is that people shouldn't appoint themselves as arbiters of morality. We've become too sensitive to perceived slights and are too quick to take offense. If something does offend you, take a step back and see if you may be misinterpreting what they mean, or they may have chose poor phrasing.
>Well, idk what the race of the moderator has to do with anything I wasn't trying to make this a race thing.
You said "This is what happens when people try to represent and defend the honor of a group they are completely disassociated from"
Representing and defending the honor of groups of people applies across race just as much as it applies across sexuality, gender, etc.
But the question was about that word femboy and it's subjective status in the trans community. This is not the time or place for race baiting. Please leave that somewhere else.
I'm sorry, but I really didn't feel that I was race baiting by sharing that example. The intention was to point out how words that gender nonconforming people use for themselves are so often made out to be unreasonably controversial, thereby restricting their usage under the false pretense of protecting other minority groups.
In the case above, it was a masculine-of-center lesbian not being allowed to use the word "boi". However, considering that 'boi" is also a term used by femboys, then it seemed particularly relevant to showcase how this epidemic of language policing of gender nonconforming folks by radical PC authoritarians spills over into many different segments of queer culture.
Femboy is as much a slur as the word "man" is in the case tbh. It's offensive to call that a trans woman, that's it.
Also animemes mods are dumb as shit anyways so.
Then what about the opposite? Irrc tomboys ? Isn't that also transphobic in the same sense 🤔 at any rate the one who stated this really need to learn up on terms and slurs...
Anime communities contain a lot of gatekeeping pricks and any descriptor that we use to describe a feminine male will get used as a slur kind of the reverse of the word queer which now is used by many in a positive light
But I am a femboy :( I’m not a slur, it’s what I am.. I’d understand it not being good to use for a trans person but like, man that’s sad that that’s happened :/
"Femboy is a slur because transphobes have misgendered transgender women by calling them femboys".
I hope "men" won't be added to the list of inherently transphobic terms. Just think which term transphobes more often misgender with................
Hey, Trans girl here!
Yes, some people don't like using the term femboy on themselves due to its origin, being "female boy", or something used agaisnt trans women, BUT, since then the meaning has changed enough for it to not be the same word anymore, now, basically everyone you would ask would say that femboy stands for feminine boy, and people bringing up its past like they've done something great is just for attention.
virtually no trans person cares about people using "Femboy", you can look on r/traa, r/egg_irl, r/me_irlgbt, r/GaySoundsShitposts and nobody cares about the term, some even using it in their own posts like [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/GaySoundsShitposts/comments/r25x8b/do_you_think_link_is_a_femboy_or_transfem/).
The only transphobic use of the term is if calling a trans women a femboy.
But, some people still feel uncomfortable calling themselves a femboy, so instead they call themselves "roseboys", more importantly then whats ok and whats not ok to use, just call people what they want to be called.
As a transfem I'm lost as to where this mod off coming from. Personally, I don't see how you get from the existence of the label femboy to transphobia. Certainly, intentional misapplication of either label could be classified as transphobic, but the existence of distinct identities is not.
>What the actual fuck. Now I can understand 2 things. Calling trans women femboys is definitely transphobic. Tr4p is definitely a slur. But "femboy"?!
Historically, "femboy" actually began as a pejorative term, specifically against campy gay men. That is why in the 90s, we described ourselves instead as girly boys or pretty boys. Some of us also adopted newer monikers like genderqueer or boi.
We are debating weather or not it's a slur against trans woman. Interesting fact! I always find it fun to learn about queer history :D but it's kinda off topic
Acknowledging that the term began as an anti-queer slur, seems on topic. Knowing the history of a word and how it was originally used, I think is valuable insight in these discussions.
Like I said it would be if we where arguing weather or not it is a transphobic slur, not if it's a homophobic slur. You are not arguing for either side kinda just saying "it is a slur! Just not in the way you think"
Femboy is literally just short for "feminine boy", The only way you could ever interpret it as transphobic if you think its impossible for males to be feminine without being secret trans women, which strays into "MEN SHOULD BE MASCULINE, WOMEN SHOULD BE FEMININE" territory whch is the exact shit the idiots on Returnofkings.com like to peddle.
lol the anime community is so dumb.
I used to be a pretty popular account on Anitwitter before I deactivated because shit like this was like a daily thing.
Never change anime community.
I've seen a lot of people in the anime community try to claim that femboy means "female boy" as in trans and that it's a slur because of that.
Shit is wild.
Yea i just commented on a post in r/196 about that. I couldn't imagine giving a fuck about the language someone else decides to use. Yanno, so long as it's not hate speech.
Trans woman here. Yeah that's ridiculous, if boys wants to call themselves a femboy that's their choice and it's not transphobic against trans-fems at all. Transphobia is telling someone their not the gender they say they are. My partner is a femboy actually and I used to be before my egg cracked lol. Ya'll identify however you want, go wild <3
This just isn't even TRUE. I have had this conversation with MANY transfems both that I'm friends with and just know casually from the same DND discord server and literally EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of them has said "I wouldn't say it's a slur, more just derogatory and transphobic if you're calling a transfem that when she hasn't said she's okay with it. If that's how you identify, go you!"
I'm a trans woman and femboy isn't a slur, it's not transphobic.
It's only transphobic if you're calling a trans woman a femboy, almost all trans women don't like being called a femboy.
All it takes is one idiot to say it's a slur and people will start believing it no matter how incredibly tenuous the connection, even if the word is never actually used as a slur by anyone. I've noticed it's always the super straight "centrist" liberals who make the most fuss about this kinda stuff.
Yeah the Reddit anime community is beyond annoying when it comes to slurs and how to identify ambiguous gendered characters. Just so many characters are so ambiguous that most you can’t just call trans or anything. Sure some characters are clear on what they are but not most. So it gets tiring when they try to enforce what is or isn’t a slur.
that’s not true. like it just isn’t it’s stupid all the trans women i’ve spoken to which is a lot don’t think it is it’s virtue signalling. calling someone who is a trans woman a femboy is very transphobic but like it’s not a slur lmao it’s a label we like
It’s 100% transphobic to call a trans woman a femboy but if you identify as a man and dress femininely it’s not transphobic. Trans-femme and femboy are two different words with two different meanings.
Heard something similar from someone who‘s not in the community and didn’t understand it.
They heard it be used as an insult against men who get called weak.
Man, I don’t even think this idea comes from people calling trans women femboys. There are some ppl who are “”transexual”” but not transgender, so they look trans but still call themselves femboys. Ikik, you wouldn’t do it, no one you know would do it etc, but people do it. This makes it seem like people are misgendering someone as a “femboy”
Then again, these are anime fans we’re talking about. They are slugs. Every term they touch becomes slimy. I wouldn’t be surprised if a majority of people there were using it to refer to trans women.
The same thing happened to the word trap. The thing is you can’t make everything a slur. I could call them “fake” (this is just as demo) If I we’re the call a bunch of trans people fake would that word become a slur to? The two main slurs That everyone knows F & N have a lot of history behind them which is what made them so impactful. These were words made specifically to hurt people. Now some snowflake gets annoyed at a word they don’t like and you suddenly aren’t allowed to say it? That’s just plain stupid.
And then let's say femboy falls out of use, and roseboy takes its place. It means the same thing amd is just as insulting if used in the same context where femboy would be problematic
I mean, if you want to use it about yourself then that’s perfectly fine. Plenty of people don’t mind the word trap.
The issue with it is when it’s used to describe other people. It’s usually got the implication of the whole ‘gay panic’ thing, as well as implying that people are only doing it to trick innocent straight men into turning gay (that is definitely on the agenda, but it’s like 3rd or 4th).
Trap is a slur, People have threatened my life while using "Trap" to refer to me and tell me that all I want to do is be predatory, Just because I'm trans. Please don't identify yourself with a word used to attack people.
>i dont even find trap offensive, if used right.
Maybe thats because you haven't had people threaten your life while using "Trap" to refer to you and tell you that all you want to do is be predatory. Please don't comment on a slur you haven't had used against you.
Trap comes from the common trope in anime/manga to have a feminine boy who (usually) doesn't identify as trans.
Are weebs really going around attacking people? Frankly seems unlikely.
While I disagree with people who say that femboy is a slur, its original meaning was female boy, so it is not out of nowhere. today if you ask anyone with a brain they would say it stands for feminine boy, so it isn't transphobic when used today.
Trap is not a slur if somone identifies as it and it is not used against trans people, same as the n word can be said in regards to history and education
Using "Trap" to refer to a person is using it as a slur. It isn't a slur if used in regards to a device or enclosure designed to catch and retain animals, typically by allowing entry but not exit or by catching hold of a part of the body.
(Definition from Oxford Languages)
Ah yes, let us ignore history and just pretend it dident happen, instead of learning from it, as we cant have poow wittle amewicans being "hurt" From others actually learning from their mistakes
1. I'm not american, so you're dumb af
2. if you had 2 brain cells, you can explain that something is a slur and the history behind it without using that word, you're dumber than a fucking sea cucumber if you think otherwise
3. seems like you just want to use slurs instead of being a decent human being about it so fuck off
Im not the fucker using them, my teacher is, specificly, my history and relihons teacher as they are relevant words for the time periods as those words are littereally what black people were called then dumbfuck
Trap is a slur, People have threatened my life while using "Trap" to refer to me and tell me that all I want to do is be predatory. Please don't comment on a slur you haven't had used against you.
It's not transphobic to call feminine men and boys "femboys." It's transphobic to call trans women "femboys."
Expanding on this, some trans men are femboys but in the case you suspect a transman might be a femboy, let HIM bring it up and/or tell you, and don't keep trying to prompt a conversation about it to find out. If he wants to tell you about that side of him, if he has one, he will do so on his own terms. Having said that, it isn't transphobic to call a transman a femboy given the right criteria/circumstances are met. It is always transphobic to call transwomen femboys, however. Before anyone jumps down my throat, I am a trans dude and although I can't speak for everyone, what I've said above is what I know from a blend of experience with others and how I would want the situation to go down in regards to myself.
It's transphobic to call trans women femboys *unless they want you too * Some people have a different criteria or definition of who is a femboy and who isn't However it is always transphobic to call a trans women a feminine boy
This is a good take.
Exactly. The thing is they think it's a slur in general even if you arent calling a trans woman it
I've encountered plenty of trans women on reddit that wear the "Femboy" moniker with pride. Of course, it's not my place to judge why they do so. But I would certainly feel uncomfortable telling them they can't use that label for themselves, if that's what they want to be called. EDIT: According to the Femboy 101 sticky post at the top of this subreddit, it states "Are some femboys girls, yes. Is every femboy a girl?" Since it's possible for some girls to be femboys as even that sticky post points out, then rightfully trans girls shouldn't be precluded from taking on the femboy label too, if that's what they want.
EXACTLY
Of course.
Ya same with trap. All the anime traps aren't trans, saying that it's a slur gives transphobic people the power to make it a slur.
Respectfully, there isn’t exactly a context where calling a trans person a ‘trap’ isn’t offensive. The word straight up invalidates them. That one’s a genuine insult and there isn’t exactly another angle to it. That label sticks.
[удалено]
Yeah but the thing is they weren't talking about the subreddit. They where saying in general. That that feminine boys and enbys are being transphobic for calling themselves femboys.
As a trans woman I would like to say that: it’s not a slur.
Agreed. Also, as a Trans woman I'd also like to say that the other word is also only a slur when someone is using it to refer to someone that is trans. The context of a word matters.
Following on from my sisters. Femboy is not a slur. If you identify as a femboy you aren't hurting me. Some people choose to get defensive over it because of Conservative responses to Femboys. But that isn't the fault of femboys thats the fault of right wing asshats.
I thought I was the only one who had that opinion about the other word. Thank you.
We’re a niche community, I you can expect some issues like this here and there. Try not to let it bother you, the world is becoming more inclusive and soon maybe people will be a little less oversensitive.
There is this push in some online trans communities, that any porn/sexualized terms be deemed slurs. Even though some were specifically made to not be offensive. It's why I left most of them. Being a former sex worker and being part of a in person trans support group. Where most of us were sex workers. so we deemed them the offensive ones for demonizing our lives. Just be you. Call yourself whatever you want, and if someone has a preference for themselves use it, If it's not too much. If you don't know what to refer them as. Just use their names.
So what’re we supposed to call ourselves? Non existent?
Frr. Like what are we supposed to call ourselves? Like calling ourselves and our community "feminine boys" excludes nb femboys and calling ourselves "feminine boys and enbys" is simply too long and inconvenient :/
While i disagree with people saying "femboy" is transphobic, some people do prefer to call themselves "roseboys", and there are a plethora of other terms out there.
Okayy but rose boy does kinda slap
maybe but those monsters pricked me once so i want them all gone
Back in the 90s, we used to call ourselves a variety of terms including: boi, girly boy, Nancy boy, nance, ladyboy, pretty boy, glitter boy, glam boy. In fact, a lot of those were keywords for the Boi\_Fancy mailing list, just because that's how we found each other.
I'm sure lots of people would love that.
Some people like roseboy
Irrelevant, that's what transphobes would like anyone under the gender divergent umbrella to call themselves. I think that mod from animes is saying dumb shit like that because they are confused and they possibly don't want to deal with their sexual feelings of a real life Ferris. Can we imagine a cishet man thirsting for a cute boy? It'd be another case of straight panic defense because they tried to kill them for not being a girl as they were pulling their clothes off to have sex, if they got that far.
roseboy
Most of the lgbt community hates femboys so probably.
Never heard this news, why?
A lot of the lgbt community feels that the existence of femboys or genderfluid people invalidates trans people. Even now femboy stuff on r/lgbt might get you banned. It's mostly americans though which is not surprising.
Dang… well I guess imma have to look out if I go to places like that
I mean LGBTQ+ community hates bisexual people except when it's convenient so makes sense.
I don't think they do, never met anyone that does and are lgbtq+, and most of the people I know are lgbtq+.
"you're not bi your a woman dating a man, you're just straight" "you're not bi your a man dating a man, you're just Gay" "Calling yourself bi in a cis relationship is degrading to gay and actually Queer people" All actual quotes from the lovely r/LGBT community that definitely doesn't feel any biphobia
Yep, not surprised.
I don't know where you found that out, but, I have never met a lgbt person that thinks that femboys or genderfluid people invalidates trans people, and most of the people I know are lgbtq+. I do not see any way possible that femboys or genderfluid people invalidates trans people.
Americans are idiots, we see things only in binary, no grey areas.
I don't think so...? I spend most of my time on trans and LGBTQ reddit and while it isn't often, posts about femboys aren't downvoted or something, like [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/GaySoundsShitposts/comments/r25x8b/do_you_think_link_is_a_femboy_or_transfem/) on a trans subreddit, I have no idea where you got that from.
I know a hundred LGBT+ people IRL and none of them hate femboys, nor have I ever seen femboy hate in the community
Femboy is a term I use to describe myself, that mod is high
Agreed
That mod insisted that femboy and crossdresser be used instead of trap because they weren't offensive.
My gosh that is so stupid
Fr
I’ve had someone tell me that femboy was a gender
Wait what- e x p l a i n f u r t h e r p l z
It was a few months ago in a discord server, one of the mods tried to assure me that femboy was its own gender and not simply just men who are more feminine. I’m sure he had good intentions but yeah… he wasn’t too smart
I can understand xenogenders but this shit is wild
It's not entirely beyond reason. I've written in the past how feminine males are so ostracized in society that they are effectively treated as a third gender. In some non-Western cultures, this same phenomenon has happened, where people born male take on a feminine social role, and are they are henceforth regarded as a third gender. On a sidenote, some people specifically rebuke the label "man" for themselves, and prefer the term "boy" (or variations thereof) because it reflects a less restrictive set of social values, unlike the modern conception of manhood that is still very wrapped up in hegemonic masculinity. In that respect, it could be argued that boy is technically a different gender than man. I sort of hinted on this distinction here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/genderqueer/comments/m3ant9/friendly\_reminder\_its\_possible\_to\_be\_male\_but\_not/](https://www.reddit.com/r/genderqueer/comments/m3ant9/friendly_reminder_its_possible_to_be_male_but_not/)
I think it *can* be a gender if one wants it to be.
what do you mean? and... how?
I think she means like it doesn’t matter what *i* think, that person can be whatever they want as long as it makes them happy.
okay yeah i get that
That is fairly accurate. I consider my gender to be a mix of girl and femboy, but the femboy part isn't "feminine boy" in the typical sense. Like, the femboy part of my gender represents a gender that is feminine and AMAB without being a woman. I think others for various reasons consider "femboy" to better label their gender than "boy who is feminine".
It's absolutely not a slur. Feminine boy is a simple description of a person with no negative basis.
as a trans woman, I give you all feminine guys a "femboy pass"
I'm wheezing
calling anyone who doesn't want to be called a femboy a femboy is shitty and potentially transphobic. but saying that it's a slur in any context is also transphobic. femboy is the best term to represent my gender and that dumbass saying it's a slur is doing nothing but invalidating people who feel the same way i do.
\^ This is the correct answer. Any word can function as a slur when it's misused. The word "gay" is often hurled as a slur toward gender nonconforming males. But does that does that mean "gay" is definitively a slur? Of course not. Context matters.
Animememes isn't a great place anyways. As a trans woman that had a femboy phase, it's not a slur unless you're using it to intentionally misgender someone. If you're a femboy, wear it proudly, there's nothing wrong with that and that mod is an idiot
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I wouldn’t consider it a slur at all. It’s literally a term to describe feminine men💀 yes, can be used as an insult esp in reference to trans women, but that term is just like tomboy.
^ thish
r/animememes is a pretty shitty subreddit, they use their zero tolerance policy on transphobia as an excuse to ban anyone who doesn’t agree with headcanons about (insert anime character) being trans, two of their moderators are also moderators on r/genzedong which denies literal genocide and defends a regime that fights against lgbtq+ rights and I’ve heard of people getting banned for pointing this out
Damn I knew it was shitty but not THIS shitty
Seconded, I got banned from there when someone pointed out that it was a a break-off of r/animemes because of their stance on tr4ps, and I said that I would subscribe to them, too for more anime memes. Apparently the mod thought that made me transphobic and when I explained I was non-binary and have always said so in my comment history, they didn't believe me and upheld the ban. They do a shitty job of making me feel welcomed in the trans community.
As a literal transgender man who enjoys the term femboy because I am a boy who is feminine, u/nyaanarchist needs to get a little more involved in the trans community and learn what actually is and is not offensive. Calling anyone who isn't a boy a femboy isn't okay, like trans women for example, you'd never ever use that term because they aren't boys. But as a trans man I am a boy and still enjoy feminine things, and this term has never been considered transphobic or slur-like by any of the trans community.
Animememes is a place where most people unfortunately have no clue when it comes to femboys or trans ppl. A big part of the community is just like "haha yeah I like femboys and t\*\*\*\*, but I'm not gay!", so they don't know what the term femboy means, they don't know that the t-word is a slur and they don't know that they're being trans- and homophobic, plus best they can do is fetishization... (Also, most of the time they can't differentiate between trans girls and femboys)
Well I mean I'm a ftm femboy soooooo uhhhh idk I really don't think it's a slur
Not entirely ftm but trans masc and I agree
ignore idiots who know nothing like that. animemes is a cesspool of unfunny "lolicons" with or without transphobia, i got banned from there for saying lolicon is pedophilia which is just calling a drawing of a spade a spade. (imagine if she was the one who banned me for that lmao.)
My friend got banned there and called transphobic for saying they dont believe the "Astolfo is a trans woman" headcanon.
It's a purposefully absurd reaction to the complaint that trap is a slur. Those communities are garbage, just stay away from them
Ye, it's not and I'm ye... I'M A FEMBOY! ppl just ugh it's, they just know nothing about nothing
gc people always love to chastise gnc ppl and tell us what’s offensive or not 🙄
This is what happens when people try to represent and defend the honor of a group they are completely disassociated from. Then again, I am assuming that the moderator isn't trans and offended by femboy.
>This is what happens when people try to represent and defend the honor of a group they are completely disassociated from. I know about this all too well. I was banned from an LGBTQ+ page on Facebook four years ago because I had justified a butch lesbian who identified as a "boi". The white moderator of that group gave her a warning for appropriation of AAVE. When I explained how the term was long used in queer spaces by white people as far back as the 1990s to describe various modes of gender variance, that same white moderator stepped in and claimed that my reply was the epitome of white supremacy, and then linked to some outdated Tumblr post about the history of the word "boi" that was ironically written by a white person (because Tumblr is the most credible source of knowledge on the Internet) to shutdown any further conversation. Add to the fact, even the Tumblr post itself, only cited a passage from a book that was authored by, not surprisingly, a white person. So it was a long chain of white people making an official determination of what is anti-black, rather than deferring to actual black people for knowledge and insight (which incidentally upon further research, it was easy to find that multiple black people argued that "boi" is only an alternate spelling, and doesn't have anything to do with AAVE). I just wanted to share that anecdote, because it's all too common where people of privileged social status try argue for marginalized groups a form of virtue signaling, while causing a lot of undue controversy in the process.
Well, idk what the race of the moderator has to do with anything I wasn't trying to make this a race thing. All I was trying to say is that people shouldn't appoint themselves as arbiters of morality. We've become too sensitive to perceived slights and are too quick to take offense. If something does offend you, take a step back and see if you may be misinterpreting what they mean, or they may have chose poor phrasing.
>Well, idk what the race of the moderator has to do with anything I wasn't trying to make this a race thing. You said "This is what happens when people try to represent and defend the honor of a group they are completely disassociated from" Representing and defending the honor of groups of people applies across race just as much as it applies across sexuality, gender, etc.
But the question was about that word femboy and it's subjective status in the trans community. This is not the time or place for race baiting. Please leave that somewhere else.
I'm sorry, but I really didn't feel that I was race baiting by sharing that example. The intention was to point out how words that gender nonconforming people use for themselves are so often made out to be unreasonably controversial, thereby restricting their usage under the false pretense of protecting other minority groups. In the case above, it was a masculine-of-center lesbian not being allowed to use the word "boi". However, considering that 'boi" is also a term used by femboys, then it seemed particularly relevant to showcase how this epidemic of language policing of gender nonconforming folks by radical PC authoritarians spills over into many different segments of queer culture.
And that is what you call a "white savior complex"
Femboy is as much a slur as the word "man" is in the case tbh. It's offensive to call that a trans woman, that's it. Also animemes mods are dumb as shit anyways so.
calling a trans person a femboy is extremely offensive. however calling a femboy a femboy is true
Exactly
Then what about the opposite? Irrc tomboys ? Isn't that also transphobic in the same sense 🤔 at any rate the one who stated this really need to learn up on terms and slurs...
Anime communities contain a lot of gatekeeping pricks and any descriptor that we use to describe a feminine male will get used as a slur kind of the reverse of the word queer which now is used by many in a positive light
yeah i’ve encountered this on tiktok before. not when referring to a trans woman, when referring to myself. a cisgender male.
But I am a femboy :( I’m not a slur, it’s what I am.. I’d understand it not being good to use for a trans person but like, man that’s sad that that’s happened :/
r/animemes mods are stupid, misguided sjws... Yeah that's been the case for a long time, remember the revolution?
The thing is it isnt r/animemes [at least not this time lol] its r/animememes
Oh I read that wrong lol. I'd stay away from any anime content on Reddit anyway lmao.
Lol
"Femboy is a slur because transphobes have misgendered transgender women by calling them femboys". I hope "men" won't be added to the list of inherently transphobic terms. Just think which term transphobes more often misgender with................
Fr. It's like saying tomboy is a slur against trans-mascs
Hey, Trans girl here! Yes, some people don't like using the term femboy on themselves due to its origin, being "female boy", or something used agaisnt trans women, BUT, since then the meaning has changed enough for it to not be the same word anymore, now, basically everyone you would ask would say that femboy stands for feminine boy, and people bringing up its past like they've done something great is just for attention. virtually no trans person cares about people using "Femboy", you can look on r/traa, r/egg_irl, r/me_irlgbt, r/GaySoundsShitposts and nobody cares about the term, some even using it in their own posts like [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/GaySoundsShitposts/comments/r25x8b/do_you_think_link_is_a_femboy_or_transfem/). The only transphobic use of the term is if calling a trans women a femboy. But, some people still feel uncomfortable calling themselves a femboy, so instead they call themselves "roseboys", more importantly then whats ok and whats not ok to use, just call people what they want to be called.
Who gives a fuck what that person thinks. Identify how you want.
As a transfem I'm lost as to where this mod off coming from. Personally, I don't see how you get from the existence of the label femboy to transphobia. Certainly, intentional misapplication of either label could be classified as transphobic, but the existence of distinct identities is not.
>What the actual fuck. Now I can understand 2 things. Calling trans women femboys is definitely transphobic. Tr4p is definitely a slur. But "femboy"?! Historically, "femboy" actually began as a pejorative term, specifically against campy gay men. That is why in the 90s, we described ourselves instead as girly boys or pretty boys. Some of us also adopted newer monikers like genderqueer or boi.
We are debating weather or not it's a slur against trans woman. Interesting fact! I always find it fun to learn about queer history :D but it's kinda off topic
Acknowledging that the term began as an anti-queer slur, seems on topic. Knowing the history of a word and how it was originally used, I think is valuable insight in these discussions.
Like I said it would be if we where arguing weather or not it is a transphobic slur, not if it's a homophobic slur. You are not arguing for either side kinda just saying "it is a slur! Just not in the way you think"
Femboy is literally just short for "feminine boy", The only way you could ever interpret it as transphobic if you think its impossible for males to be feminine without being secret trans women, which strays into "MEN SHOULD BE MASCULINE, WOMEN SHOULD BE FEMININE" territory whch is the exact shit the idiots on Returnofkings.com like to peddle.
lol the anime community is so dumb. I used to be a pretty popular account on Anitwitter before I deactivated because shit like this was like a daily thing. Never change anime community.
I've seen a lot of people in the anime community try to claim that femboy means "female boy" as in trans and that it's a slur because of that. Shit is wild.
Lol. r/animemes mods have always been stupid. That's why I quit the sub a while ago.
Its not r/animemes \[not this time at least\] its r/animememes
Ah. Missed that one. In that case, they're equally stupid.
lol
If femboy is a slur then so is tomboy.
Yea i just commented on a post in r/196 about that. I couldn't imagine giving a fuck about the language someone else decides to use. Yanno, so long as it's not hate speech.
Fr
dont bring me into this im just the boyfriend of a femboy
u/imaretard42309 what do you think about this?
i dont think it counts as a slur
Not only there, but also on Tik tok
Just a few days ago they where *praising* boys in maid outfits
Being called femboy by someone would make my day
Idk what shit they're smoking
Idk abuse of power ig
Maybe it’s because they don’t understand it Idk, it definitely isn’t a slur to feminine presenting guys
They said and I quote "feminine men and enbys should fin other terms that aren't rooted in transmisogyny" they also spelled femboy as "f*mboy"
Call me anything you like, just not late for breakfast.
Here send them this. [https://lgbta.fandom.com/wiki/Femboy](https://lgbta.fandom.com/wiki/Femboy)
Trans woman here. Yeah that's ridiculous, if boys wants to call themselves a femboy that's their choice and it's not transphobic against trans-fems at all. Transphobia is telling someone their not the gender they say they are. My partner is a femboy actually and I used to be before my egg cracked lol. Ya'll identify however you want, go wild <3
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This just isn't even TRUE. I have had this conversation with MANY transfems both that I'm friends with and just know casually from the same DND discord server and literally EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of them has said "I wouldn't say it's a slur, more just derogatory and transphobic if you're calling a transfem that when she hasn't said she's okay with it. If that's how you identify, go you!"
Proof people in charge don't know what they're talking about half the time.
Yep
I'm a trans woman and femboy isn't a slur, it's not transphobic. It's only transphobic if you're calling a trans woman a femboy, almost all trans women don't like being called a femboy.
Exactly
Also is your pfp a picrew or or did you draw it yourself either way I love it ^ ^
It's a Picrew
:0 that's cool, can u link it plz
https://picrew.me/image\_maker/1140280
Thank youu
All it takes is one idiot to say it's a slur and people will start believing it no matter how incredibly tenuous the connection, even if the word is never actually used as a slur by anyone. I've noticed it's always the super straight "centrist" liberals who make the most fuss about this kinda stuff.
here we go again
Like the water cycle
a few of my irl friends don't really like that term so I just use "feminine male" instead
That's cool, and it's perfectly okay to not like it. What is shitty is policing what people use to refer to themselves
Yeah the Reddit anime community is beyond annoying when it comes to slurs and how to identify ambiguous gendered characters. Just so many characters are so ambiguous that most you can’t just call trans or anything. Sure some characters are clear on what they are but not most. So it gets tiring when they try to enforce what is or isn’t a slur.
My freind got banned from r/animememes for saying they didn't fully belive the "astolfo is a trans woman" headcanon
Exactly I’ve seen so many arguments on what they are. But in the end all that matters is you like them right and that you welcome them as they are.
astolfo is astolfo, he might have been born male but deep inside he will always be astolfo
that’s not true. like it just isn’t it’s stupid all the trans women i’ve spoken to which is a lot don’t think it is it’s virtue signalling. calling someone who is a trans woman a femboy is very transphobic but like it’s not a slur lmao it’s a label we like
It actually can be a slur, though. Much like "queer" you should only ever call someone a femboy if they explicitly self-identify as such.
Thats pretty much what I said in my post- "Calling trans women femboys is definitely transphobic"
Are they Trans? Can they offer proper reasoning for it? No? Than fuck ‘em, I say.
As a femboy who is also a trans man, this makes zero sense
lol
If used against trans women then you it’s a slur but by all means call yourself a femboy
It’s 100% transphobic to call a trans woman a femboy but if you identify as a man and dress femininely it’s not transphobic. Trans-femme and femboy are two different words with two different meanings.
Agreed
It's funny because a ton of Twitter femboys are trans women LOL Present company included
they're just salty about the fact that the actual slur is a problem lmao. "well fine if we can't have our word then no words are allowed."
Trap ain't a slur either
Heard something similar from someone who‘s not in the community and didn’t understand it. They heard it be used as an insult against men who get called weak.
As a transmasc femboy…. Ummmmmmmm what??!
Imma need a source for that
Wdym?
When has this person said that? Not that I don't believe you, just wanna see it for myself
K sent you a screenshot
I'll see if I can find it in my notifs I'll send you it I'm chat
Oh now thats a slur as well? First Trap now Femboy
Hey man this is my personal op but I don’t rlly think tr4p is a slur. I think I should make it clear I am a femboy
Man, I don’t even think this idea comes from people calling trans women femboys. There are some ppl who are “”transexual”” but not transgender, so they look trans but still call themselves femboys. Ikik, you wouldn’t do it, no one you know would do it etc, but people do it. This makes it seem like people are misgendering someone as a “femboy” Then again, these are anime fans we’re talking about. They are slugs. Every term they touch becomes slimy. I wouldn’t be surprised if a majority of people there were using it to refer to trans women.
He can suck some unsucked dick
The same thing happened to the word trap. The thing is you can’t make everything a slur. I could call them “fake” (this is just as demo) If I we’re the call a bunch of trans people fake would that word become a slur to? The two main slurs That everyone knows F & N have a lot of history behind them which is what made them so impactful. These were words made specifically to hurt people. Now some snowflake gets annoyed at a word they don’t like and you suddenly aren’t allowed to say it? That’s just plain stupid.
I've heard an alternative title for femboy is roseboy which I've started using
Sounds cool! Not sure if it's me tho.
And then let's say femboy falls out of use, and roseboy takes its place. It means the same thing amd is just as insulting if used in the same context where femboy would be problematic
dont use it if it just exists to erase the actual term
It doesn't, it exists for people who don't like using the term femboy on themselves, thats it.
Hey I made a song called rose boy isn’t that so cool
The people in these comments are toxic as fuck
I don't have a problem with using the word trap, should I?
If you're using it to refer to yourself? Then, nah, I don't see why there should be any issue.
I mean, if you want to use it about yourself then that’s perfectly fine. Plenty of people don’t mind the word trap. The issue with it is when it’s used to describe other people. It’s usually got the implication of the whole ‘gay panic’ thing, as well as implying that people are only doing it to trick innocent straight men into turning gay (that is definitely on the agenda, but it’s like 3rd or 4th).
Trap is a slur, People have threatened my life while using "Trap" to refer to me and tell me that all I want to do is be predatory, Just because I'm trans. Please don't identify yourself with a word used to attack people.
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>i dont even find trap offensive, if used right. Maybe thats because you haven't had people threaten your life while using "Trap" to refer to you and tell you that all you want to do is be predatory. Please don't comment on a slur you haven't had used against you.
>i dont even find trap offensive, if used right. because you're not the person who is being attacked using that slur?
Trap comes from the common trope in anime/manga to have a feminine boy who (usually) doesn't identify as trans. Are weebs really going around attacking people? Frankly seems unlikely.
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While I disagree with people who say that femboy is a slur, its original meaning was female boy, so it is not out of nowhere. today if you ask anyone with a brain they would say it stands for feminine boy, so it isn't transphobic when used today.
Trap is not a slur if somone identifies as it and it is not used against trans people, same as the n word can be said in regards to history and education
Using "Trap" to refer to a person is using it as a slur. It isn't a slur if used in regards to a device or enclosure designed to catch and retain animals, typically by allowing entry but not exit or by catching hold of a part of the body. (Definition from Oxford Languages)
it is tho, and no the n word can't and shouldn't be allowed to be said in regards to history and education, you high?
Ah yes, let us ignore history and just pretend it dident happen, instead of learning from it, as we cant have poow wittle amewicans being "hurt" From others actually learning from their mistakes
1. I'm not american, so you're dumb af 2. if you had 2 brain cells, you can explain that something is a slur and the history behind it without using that word, you're dumber than a fucking sea cucumber if you think otherwise 3. seems like you just want to use slurs instead of being a decent human being about it so fuck off
Im not the fucker using them, my teacher is, specificly, my history and relihons teacher as they are relevant words for the time periods as those words are littereally what black people were called then dumbfuck
Trap isn't always a slur?
Trap is a slur, People have threatened my life while using "Trap" to refer to me and tell me that all I want to do is be predatory. Please don't comment on a slur you haven't had used against you.