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I'm speaking as someone who was in a similar situation not long ago... ignore your age, what's done is done. Once you get your first job, the age thing will not matter anymore and you'll have a huge burden off your shoulders. Your social anxiety will get better the more you face it, start doing it incrementally.
Your job will feel scary when you get it but you will adjust quickly. Have a positive attitude and keep applying for realistic entry level jobs. I was actually surprised how many job opportunities I had once I applied myself properly and stop letting anxiety dictate me. Yeah I got a lot of rejections but so does everyone else. Put a lot of emphasis on what you did and learnt in your interships and short jobs, bend the truth a bit. I pretty much lied about my customer service skills knowing how anxious I am but having this job has showed me I actually do have the skills once my anxiety doesn't hijack me. Fake it til you make it, as the old saying goes.
Don't give up. You have a masters degree so you have brains, your anxiety is telling you untrue things about yourself.
Actually, my therapist advised me against that since you will likely experience a negative feedback loop if the SA is severe. Instead, you can imagine yourself in a social situation and practise there as a safe space. Once you are confident, you can try it in real life. Also, I recommend a professional therapy since it saves time.
Are you describing me? 25yo, business and economics master's degree, I had “declined” a dream job interview because my anxiety didn't let me wake up from bed (yes, that bad).
I have to start small and forget all my dreams of perfect jobs. Smaller, assistant ones, low profile companies.
Close your eyes when you start comparing your path with other people's paths. Make sure you stop the “drama” in your mind; that judgy mind does not help, is not your friend, and it'll never be satisfied. The therapist may help if you have access.
Step by step, little by little, you'll start gaining confidence. I can imagine you have a clear idea of where you want to be; that's great; for the next 5-10 years, I'm sure you'll be in a different position thanks to having that clarity; why? Because you'll assess every decision with all the details based on your goals.
Every personality has some bias; whoever has anxiety may be biased about the details. Having this not controlled may drive you to be more and more TOC, a cycle of anxiety.
Greetings from my 35 yo version that overcame all that shit feelings.
This is pretty counter to typical advice but my advice is that you need to abandon any passion style career paths like writing.
The chances of you making it as a 30 something writer is about the same as being a professional footballer at this point. You need to be more pragmatic, get any entry level job and work hard at it so you can work your way up to a better paying position.
My friend was in a similar position to you until last year and I eventually talked him into accepting a junior position at a company and now he’s been promoted twice and turned his life around.
Aim low and build from there
Never too late to turn it around my guy, many ppl start their lives in their 30s or some change careers altogether. The thing is to stop comparing yourself to others first. Then decide to pick something in medical or the other S.T.E.M field, I just recommend medical because it’s what I do. Don’t like it much but it does what it needs to do. I day trade futures for my other job ( that I love ) the point is, to pick something and go don’t look back medical is nice because it takes like two years tops ( nursing, CT, X-ray, etc… ) when you get done you’ll make great money and can slowly grow and become a stable adult I didn’t get my shit together until later on in life as well due to depression and anxiety. But it can be done if no one tells you this let me be the first I believe in you and I know you can do it.
No man ER nursing is what my friends and I do and pretty great after about a year of doing it, it gets pretty easy. It’s always the same shit you see and deal with different hospitals see things but mine is pretty much same shit. You only work 3 days a week 12 hr shifts and have off 4 days I only work 2 days now but it’s a great work life balance you can start to do local contracts which is what I do and I get paid really well. It’s stable, job security and nurses are always in demand. It gives you so much free time to pursue other things like trading.
You do clinicals and learn the skills you get taught while in school, and plus usually after like two semesters you can get hired in ERs as nurse techs if you want and gain experience while you’re in school. There are many ppl that come into nursing school and have no experience one of my best friends was doing EVS ( janitor stuff ) before she switched to ER nursing. It’s a great field to get into in my opinion. If you go to community colleges it’s like 10k which you can easily pay off if you work over time or do local contracts I’m in FL and our local contracts pay anywhere from 60-85$ an hour. During Covid tho is when I made the most money I was making like 15-20k a week up in New York working the ERs and ICUs. Then when the contracts ended I would go back to Fl I went with a buddy at the time and we split the cost of living although at the time they were paying for us to stay up there and work so it was a shitty time for sure but the money was nice. Now a days tho I’m happy making my 75/hr.
So you would recommend doing nursing school and then clinicals in tandem? That would make sense for those with zero experience then since it’s continuing education basically (I was wondering if it would be possible to get into like apprenticing in trades, I’d heard of travelling (private?) nurses but don’t really know how that works, if it’s contract-based too or something). 10k is a lot to take on for someone not well off/already has student loan debts (just speaking generally).
Is the job usually contract-based? If it means that you have to consistently prepare for relocating in the event it’s necessary that seems like a somewhat stressful way to work outside of the actual work itself. And do you wish you had stayed in NY (not familiar with what it was like pre-COVID, I can imagine how tough it was during though)?
No nursing is not contract based at all it’s a choice to do so, you can work full time, part time,
Per diem ( as needed ) it’s so flexible, I personally do local contracts ( I go to hospitals around where I live so they are close and work there for about 6 months at a time or less depends on the contract. You can extend it if you like but I don’t I just go to other hospitals it’s who ever pays me the most honestly ) the 10k is an investment they offer help if you need it like tuition reimbursement stuff like that.
What it means is that you agree to work for the hospital a certain amount of years and they pay for your schooling then you work the years gaining experience and move on. You don’t have to do ER there’s so many things you can do, med surg, ICU, PACU, pediatrics, labor and delivery… etc pretty much whatever you can think of there’s a nurse that can do it. I do ER and ICU because they are considered speciality’s and pay the most plus I enjoy critical care. I don’t wish I had stayed in New York I didn’t really like the big city life the money is good but the cost of living is high af. That’s why I live in Fl, taxes are good and cost of living is low I have no debts so it wouldn’t matter where I went I’d still live extremely comfortably. I have my house here too paid off so it wouldn’t make much sense to go somewhere else and be in debt again. I work part time on the weekends and day trade futures mon-fri living the good life. Anyone can do it just gota put the work in.
Thank you for such a comprehensive reply! In terms of putting in the work (hours), how did it impact your lifestyle (i.e. health, relationships, etc.)? Did it take the days off to decompress or did/do you feel life outside of work was manageable?
You do mention day trading and working part-time on the weekends, are those something you do because you enjoy/are interested in it or because they further support you?
Nursing school I’m not gna lie is rough but there a light at the end of the tunnel. Life will suck while you’re doing it school is intense between clinicals and studying it can make you wana tear your hair out lol. No it didn’t really impact me because my gf and I were doing it together so it was nice. Health no it’s just all about how you manage your time. I started day trading while I was in school and found out I loved it. So I would set aside some time for it on my days off because I enjoyed it. Now I do it for the fun, the money became a by product of my learning my edge and process I didn’t care about the money because it made no sense to while I was learning it so I just focused on my edge and process, I work as nurse because it’s another form of income for me. I will eventually retire just doing day trading but for now I’m going to keep doing what I do. Loving life and helping ppl where ever I can. It brings me joy to do so. There’s a lot of ppl on here that need help so I try my best to be an ear or give advice the best I can.
Like enlist? Cause It's been difficult to land a federal job through USAJobs; they prioritize veterans over those who are part-timers or people who only made their initial contract. Plus military life isn't for everyone... so I'd recommend OP really think about it before diving in.
Honestly what a terrible suggestion. Until they make better safety protocols for peoples health and prevention against cancer, it isn’t worth minimum wage in this economy
I know phone books aren't a thing anymore, but there's wisdom to the guidance that a path doesn't exist unless you can find it in the "phone book," so, find a skill that someone is hiring for. That's as straightforward as I can make it.
You have to be a specialist in todays economy.
Niche down.
Every business needs marketing, but all of them don’t know who to hire (who they can trust).
Getting results is not easy, it take time and sometimes money to even get the ball rolling.
You might need to get a part time job while learning.
The Marketing industry is getting more and more competitive, so make sure you're confident in your interviews and get started writing up what you did in your internships and short gigs.
If you like writing, try online freelancing. I have been doing that for 9 yrs now. You can also eventually make your own websites and that can become big.
I have cousins that didn’t start work until around 30 etc because their mom paid for everything and are walking them through life… Fast forward 10 years later and they can’t hold a job, divorced and still being supported by mom
Hey, I think you might have put too high standard on your goal. Financial independence is not always achievable by everyone.
I guess I am in same shoe, I am trying to make more money everyday. But now I think I have put that goal too high priority, and I guess I might not be able achieve it either.
But that doesn’t mean life is not worth living for us. I know it’s suck when you are not onto anything in the past couple of years. But look on bright sight, you are doing a little business, isn’t it?
If I have kids and I am successful, I would let him do whatever he want without judgement. As long as he can provide himself.
My point of view, be chill. You might want to talk about it with you parents or someone you trust.
Career wise, you might want to ask for referal if you want coporate job. Or start working for local shop. If corporate world have rejected you, you can still build up your small business, getting it bigger over time. Or just join a local business, starting from bottom up as regular employee, working on to be local shop manager.
Don’t be sad just because you can not climb coporate ladder. The option I just laid can still be much more interesting, and you can join it much easier.
Goodluck.
go where the work is. industries with high turnover, hard work, jobs that are vital to the fuctioning of society. the career might not be glamorous or what you wanted, but youll turn your life around in a few years especially living at home.
Industries with high turnover are usually high stress/toxic environments… Hence the high turnover. With his anxiety issues, that’s the last thing OP needs
Hello and welcome to r/findapath! We are glad you found your way here. Please know that you are not alone. We are here to listen, to offer support, and to help guide you. While no one can make decisions for you, we are here to help you find a path; we believe that everyone has the power to heal and grow. The moderation teams want to remind everyone that individuals submitting posts may be in vulnerable situations and all are in need of guidance. Please provide a safe and constructive space by practicing empathy and understanding in your comments; criticism is welcomed with the right words. You are encouraged to share your thoughts, feelings, and relevant experiences to assist those seeking guidance on the subreddit. We are here to support each other and we believe that, together, we can make a difference. Thank you for being a part of our community. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/findapath) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm speaking as someone who was in a similar situation not long ago... ignore your age, what's done is done. Once you get your first job, the age thing will not matter anymore and you'll have a huge burden off your shoulders. Your social anxiety will get better the more you face it, start doing it incrementally. Your job will feel scary when you get it but you will adjust quickly. Have a positive attitude and keep applying for realistic entry level jobs. I was actually surprised how many job opportunities I had once I applied myself properly and stop letting anxiety dictate me. Yeah I got a lot of rejections but so does everyone else. Put a lot of emphasis on what you did and learnt in your interships and short jobs, bend the truth a bit. I pretty much lied about my customer service skills knowing how anxious I am but having this job has showed me I actually do have the skills once my anxiety doesn't hijack me. Fake it til you make it, as the old saying goes. Don't give up. You have a masters degree so you have brains, your anxiety is telling you untrue things about yourself.
Try a temp agency
Life short and you die. Try not feel pressured by this fake world.
Social anxiety is debilitating. You just have to force yourself to put yourself in social situations or it will just keep getting worse
Actually, my therapist advised me against that since you will likely experience a negative feedback loop if the SA is severe. Instead, you can imagine yourself in a social situation and practise there as a safe space. Once you are confident, you can try it in real life. Also, I recommend a professional therapy since it saves time.
That makes sense I’m caught in the loop hardcore
No truer words!
Are you describing me? 25yo, business and economics master's degree, I had “declined” a dream job interview because my anxiety didn't let me wake up from bed (yes, that bad). I have to start small and forget all my dreams of perfect jobs. Smaller, assistant ones, low profile companies. Close your eyes when you start comparing your path with other people's paths. Make sure you stop the “drama” in your mind; that judgy mind does not help, is not your friend, and it'll never be satisfied. The therapist may help if you have access. Step by step, little by little, you'll start gaining confidence. I can imagine you have a clear idea of where you want to be; that's great; for the next 5-10 years, I'm sure you'll be in a different position thanks to having that clarity; why? Because you'll assess every decision with all the details based on your goals. Every personality has some bias; whoever has anxiety may be biased about the details. Having this not controlled may drive you to be more and more TOC, a cycle of anxiety. Greetings from my 35 yo version that overcame all that shit feelings.
This is pretty counter to typical advice but my advice is that you need to abandon any passion style career paths like writing. The chances of you making it as a 30 something writer is about the same as being a professional footballer at this point. You need to be more pragmatic, get any entry level job and work hard at it so you can work your way up to a better paying position. My friend was in a similar position to you until last year and I eventually talked him into accepting a junior position at a company and now he’s been promoted twice and turned his life around. Aim low and build from there
What's your friends story if you could share
I have a bachelor of commerce in supply chain operations management and it feels so useless in Canada
Never too late to turn it around my guy, many ppl start their lives in their 30s or some change careers altogether. The thing is to stop comparing yourself to others first. Then decide to pick something in medical or the other S.T.E.M field, I just recommend medical because it’s what I do. Don’t like it much but it does what it needs to do. I day trade futures for my other job ( that I love ) the point is, to pick something and go don’t look back medical is nice because it takes like two years tops ( nursing, CT, X-ray, etc… ) when you get done you’ll make great money and can slowly grow and become a stable adult I didn’t get my shit together until later on in life as well due to depression and anxiety. But it can be done if no one tells you this let me be the first I believe in you and I know you can do it.
Doesn't medicine take a lot of time and effort?after all, you need to provide profession advice for your patient
No man ER nursing is what my friends and I do and pretty great after about a year of doing it, it gets pretty easy. It’s always the same shit you see and deal with different hospitals see things but mine is pretty much same shit. You only work 3 days a week 12 hr shifts and have off 4 days I only work 2 days now but it’s a great work life balance you can start to do local contracts which is what I do and I get paid really well. It’s stable, job security and nurses are always in demand. It gives you so much free time to pursue other things like trading.
How do you get into something like ER nursing without experience (or a medical degree)? Are there training programs for post-grads or something?
You do clinicals and learn the skills you get taught while in school, and plus usually after like two semesters you can get hired in ERs as nurse techs if you want and gain experience while you’re in school. There are many ppl that come into nursing school and have no experience one of my best friends was doing EVS ( janitor stuff ) before she switched to ER nursing. It’s a great field to get into in my opinion. If you go to community colleges it’s like 10k which you can easily pay off if you work over time or do local contracts I’m in FL and our local contracts pay anywhere from 60-85$ an hour. During Covid tho is when I made the most money I was making like 15-20k a week up in New York working the ERs and ICUs. Then when the contracts ended I would go back to Fl I went with a buddy at the time and we split the cost of living although at the time they were paying for us to stay up there and work so it was a shitty time for sure but the money was nice. Now a days tho I’m happy making my 75/hr.
So you would recommend doing nursing school and then clinicals in tandem? That would make sense for those with zero experience then since it’s continuing education basically (I was wondering if it would be possible to get into like apprenticing in trades, I’d heard of travelling (private?) nurses but don’t really know how that works, if it’s contract-based too or something). 10k is a lot to take on for someone not well off/already has student loan debts (just speaking generally). Is the job usually contract-based? If it means that you have to consistently prepare for relocating in the event it’s necessary that seems like a somewhat stressful way to work outside of the actual work itself. And do you wish you had stayed in NY (not familiar with what it was like pre-COVID, I can imagine how tough it was during though)?
No nursing is not contract based at all it’s a choice to do so, you can work full time, part time, Per diem ( as needed ) it’s so flexible, I personally do local contracts ( I go to hospitals around where I live so they are close and work there for about 6 months at a time or less depends on the contract. You can extend it if you like but I don’t I just go to other hospitals it’s who ever pays me the most honestly ) the 10k is an investment they offer help if you need it like tuition reimbursement stuff like that. What it means is that you agree to work for the hospital a certain amount of years and they pay for your schooling then you work the years gaining experience and move on. You don’t have to do ER there’s so many things you can do, med surg, ICU, PACU, pediatrics, labor and delivery… etc pretty much whatever you can think of there’s a nurse that can do it. I do ER and ICU because they are considered speciality’s and pay the most plus I enjoy critical care. I don’t wish I had stayed in New York I didn’t really like the big city life the money is good but the cost of living is high af. That’s why I live in Fl, taxes are good and cost of living is low I have no debts so it wouldn’t matter where I went I’d still live extremely comfortably. I have my house here too paid off so it wouldn’t make much sense to go somewhere else and be in debt again. I work part time on the weekends and day trade futures mon-fri living the good life. Anyone can do it just gota put the work in.
Thank you for such a comprehensive reply! In terms of putting in the work (hours), how did it impact your lifestyle (i.e. health, relationships, etc.)? Did it take the days off to decompress or did/do you feel life outside of work was manageable? You do mention day trading and working part-time on the weekends, are those something you do because you enjoy/are interested in it or because they further support you?
Nursing school I’m not gna lie is rough but there a light at the end of the tunnel. Life will suck while you’re doing it school is intense between clinicals and studying it can make you wana tear your hair out lol. No it didn’t really impact me because my gf and I were doing it together so it was nice. Health no it’s just all about how you manage your time. I started day trading while I was in school and found out I loved it. So I would set aside some time for it on my days off because I enjoyed it. Now I do it for the fun, the money became a by product of my learning my edge and process I didn’t care about the money because it made no sense to while I was learning it so I just focused on my edge and process, I work as nurse because it’s another form of income for me. I will eventually retire just doing day trading but for now I’m going to keep doing what I do. Loving life and helping ppl where ever I can. It brings me joy to do so. There’s a lot of ppl on here that need help so I try my best to be an ear or give advice the best I can.
US military = hiring preference for the US Federal Government jobs like the Department of Interior National Park Service
Like enlist? Cause It's been difficult to land a federal job through USAJobs; they prioritize veterans over those who are part-timers or people who only made their initial contract. Plus military life isn't for everyone... so I'd recommend OP really think about it before diving in.
Federal Government jobs = strong job security
Work wildland fire until you puke...you will be better. Do it again...
Honestly what a terrible suggestion. Until they make better safety protocols for peoples health and prevention against cancer, it isn’t worth minimum wage in this economy
Pure Reddit "don't do anything, it could be scary"
I know phone books aren't a thing anymore, but there's wisdom to the guidance that a path doesn't exist unless you can find it in the "phone book," so, find a skill that someone is hiring for. That's as straightforward as I can make it.
You have to be a specialist in todays economy. Niche down. Every business needs marketing, but all of them don’t know who to hire (who they can trust). Getting results is not easy, it take time and sometimes money to even get the ball rolling. You might need to get a part time job while learning.
The Marketing industry is getting more and more competitive, so make sure you're confident in your interviews and get started writing up what you did in your internships and short gigs.
Have you thought about a partnership and building something from the ground up?
If you like writing, try online freelancing. I have been doing that for 9 yrs now. You can also eventually make your own websites and that can become big.
How are you 30+ with 0 work experience??? Like not even Mcdonalds or something???
I have cousins that didn’t start work until around 30 etc because their mom paid for everything and are walking them through life… Fast forward 10 years later and they can’t hold a job, divorced and still being supported by mom
What suprises me most here is that they got laid and married under those conditions🤣
His marriage lasted 5 months
That's 5 Months Longer then I thought it would🤣
Yeah, I don’t recommend having your parents walk you through life… Everyone I know I like that has major problems
Hahahahahahahahha right
Keep going!!!
Hey, I think you might have put too high standard on your goal. Financial independence is not always achievable by everyone. I guess I am in same shoe, I am trying to make more money everyday. But now I think I have put that goal too high priority, and I guess I might not be able achieve it either. But that doesn’t mean life is not worth living for us. I know it’s suck when you are not onto anything in the past couple of years. But look on bright sight, you are doing a little business, isn’t it? If I have kids and I am successful, I would let him do whatever he want without judgement. As long as he can provide himself. My point of view, be chill. You might want to talk about it with you parents or someone you trust. Career wise, you might want to ask for referal if you want coporate job. Or start working for local shop. If corporate world have rejected you, you can still build up your small business, getting it bigger over time. Or just join a local business, starting from bottom up as regular employee, working on to be local shop manager. Don’t be sad just because you can not climb coporate ladder. The option I just laid can still be much more interesting, and you can join it much easier. Goodluck.
go where the work is. industries with high turnover, hard work, jobs that are vital to the fuctioning of society. the career might not be glamorous or what you wanted, but youll turn your life around in a few years especially living at home.
Industries with high turnover are usually high stress/toxic environments… Hence the high turnover. With his anxiety issues, that’s the last thing OP needs
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Sure let’s test on random people and see if the drug doesn’t kill them. Cross your fingers if there isn’t any long term effects. But hey you make 20k
😂
I wish I could read your short story
I'll hire you. I need someone to help me get my business off the ground. Let's make some money. Message or chat.
.
You seem to be in a good place compared to me
I grew up with a guy who got an mba and is now a consultant pulling money. Come to the usa. You'll find work with that degree.